Odd Todd's Summer Blog

Site goes back to normal in the morning!

2008-09-01T21:08:00.003-04:00

Say goodbye to Summer Bloggy Blog!

And if you want your recipe posted tomorrow for Tuesday's Lunch Recipes! Send it in now!

Snacks and drink mixes and mishmoshes are welcome...

oddtodd7@hotmail.com

Hope y'all had a great Labor Day weekend and bestest of good vibes to all people down Louisiana way...

tOdd

Links for the Weekend

2008-08-30T11:53:00.011-04:00

I've been posting alot of random stuff the last few days so I'll like compile it up for the weekend.

-- Don't let any dog anywhere need Four Paws PimpleBall with Bell. Here's why. Warning: No fun to read!

-- Coolio art by filthylurker.

-- Props to C-Span for convention non-coverage. Instead of the crappy crazy biased networks. You get to see Barney Smith instead of them newsdouches yapping about their own egos.

-- Here's a mental new search engine for mentals.

-- Wacky Polish film posters are here.

-- Nature is scary and gross video is here.

-- Dog jumping on trampoline is here.

-- Happy Katrina Day. Here's some portraits.

-- And if you feel like drawing-- this is still here.

Website back to normals next week sometime! Coolio!

Good vibes to y'all and have a great weekend!

tOdd

The Split Second of Snub

2008-08-28T12:24:00.005-04:00

So anyway, every morning I have the same routine. I get up. Make coffay. Do whatever whatever. Then some time between 8:30-9:30 I head out to walk Roscoe.

And every day there's a old lady a few doors down who is always out in front of her place. Either sitting on the stoop or standing behind her gate. Every day. (There's alot of stoop sitters in Brooklyn. Old school style). And every time I pass her with Roscoe by I say hello. And every time I say hello she doesn't say hello back. Never once. I either get a unimpressed look of acknowledgment, or a slight nod, but sometimes she just ignores me totally.

We walk by. I wave and say hello. I keep going. She stays silent. For years now. I've seen her talking to other people so I know she actually talks-- but for whatever reason she just never wants to say hello back to me! If I got a nod that's the furthest she's ever taken it! And every single day I feel slightly snubbed by this old lady. Like, WTF with the no hello back!?

So this morning I was in a mood or whatever and saw her out front and we made eye contact--- and I didn't say hello like usual. Today, I resented her never saying hello back to me for some reason. So I decided to snub her. I looked her right in the face-- didn't hello. I thought maybe I'd even force a hello out of her first time! How bout that?! No hello for you!

And I saw her expression change. I could see she knew I was doing a hello snub. And she looked scared and a little hurt. Like eyebrows down toward her ears puppy style. Heart break. I immediately said a big hello and she looked instantly relieved. She smiled and nodded like, 'There it is. There's my hello...' (She didn't say anything of course).

I could see in that split second of snub that my hellos were actually important to her. Important to her day and her morning routine. And even though she apparently has no interest in taking our friendship beyond me simply saying hello and her seemingly ignoring it-- I appreciate now knowing that my hellos mean something to her. It makes me feel less snubbed too.

And frankly, am completely comfortable in our hello/no hello back friendship of sorts...

ok bye!
tOdd

The Usual Gay Suspect

2008-08-26T09:02:00.002-04:00

So I'm into my 30's. Single. Seemingly incapable or uninterested in maintaining a long-term relationship. "Artsy". Not too good at or too into sports. I guess some of my mannerisms could be unique-ish. I talk with my hands alot. I'm lanky. I admit I like Justin Timberlake. I dig gossip. Read Us. I have a dog that needs haircuts. I have an "alternative" lifestyle. Etc. So I'm not surprised if some people now and then suspect that I might be top secretly gay.

I guess I would have suspicions about me if I didn't know me that well. (It only bothers me if some random girl thinks that-- and it's a girl I want to be un-gay with). But now and then someone sort of implies that it would be "ok" for me to finally come out of the closet. They let me know that they'd be totally cool with it if I outted myself. That I shouldn't worry what they think.

Like recently, a married friend who I haven't seen in a good while hung out. And at some point he started saying stuff like, "I went to a gay wedding recently and it was totally cool, man." And, "I think they're great you know... Gay people." I could tell the conversation was tiptoeing around, "Dude, if you're gay-- I'm comfortable with it. You don't have to hide and stuff."

Umm... It's like, 'Thanks?'

Sure, there's a defensiveness that goes up when someone accuses me of being secretly gay-- but it's the same sort of defensiveness that goes up whenever anyone assumes that I'm something that I'm not.

I'm really not insulted when people might be suspicious of my unmarried often-single 30-something well-mannered self. (It probably throws them off extra because I'm so friggin handsome and smart). And I guess it's ok for people to let me know that they'd be comfortable with it. That's nice. But I guess what I do find insulting is the idea that at this point in my life, they think I'd still be hiding in some closet secretly sneaking around and too embarrassed to admit who I am. Maintaining some social charade by dating girls and talking about boobs every other sentence-- to guard my top secret secret?

At the very least I think they'd know that I simply don't have the energy or motivation to run any kind of double life. I barely pull it together to run one.

Yadda, I'm sure people will read into this and assume I'm totally gay just for mentioning not being gay or talking about gay stuff all gay. Or people may even think I'm super subconsciously unaware of my own gaydom. Uh huh. That would have to run pretty deep because my private time all-alone top fantasy involves a harem of girls dressed up in little Jeannie outfits and me wearing nothing but a crown on my head and a whistle around my neck.

But whatever! It actually feels kinda coolio to finally out myself as not gay instead of just ignoring the questionable rainbow colored elephant in the room. Two snaps up and fierce!

ok bye!
tOdd

Pictures for the Week!

2008-08-25T10:37:00.008-04:00

Hi-

Here's a bunch of pictures and stuff!

Click here to check em out and stuff...

I'll make with the typing later today bout something.

Good vibes to y'all and happy mondaze...

tOdd

PS. Here's a song I've been listening to today called Sausalito

Shirt Button Babble + SF Trip!

2008-08-18T20:56:00.013-04:00

So tonight I went out to dinner and I wore a button-down shirt. And, of course, I was hit with the shirt button decision. Whether I should button all the way up the next to the top button (nerdy) or leave the top two buttons open (not nerdy). Yadda, I know this 'button' issue was covered on Seinfeld and I don't wanna be all Seinfeldy but here's the deal because I have an extra issue with it...

I have a hairy chest. And hairy chest guys have a different issue because going public as a hairy chest guy makes sort of a statement beyond the shirt being open. That statement being, 'I have a big hairy chest. Look! See? I'm a wild and crazy guy!'

In alot of ways (and no ways at all) having a hairy chest is like having big boobs. It's (they) are either out. Or covered. And the more cleavage that is shown the more attention is brought to that area. It's a choice and a statement.

With my shirt being open somewhat I'm ok with it. As long as there's some modesty about it I'm comfortable. The problem is I simply can't trust certain shirts I have. Sometimes I'll look down and I'll be horrified to see my shirt somehow folded out totally open in a big wide V fashion-- and I look like I'm a 70's porn star or something. Full chestical display!

I'm sure chicks might feel the same way when the look down and their boobs are out by accident-- but with chicks its still a winning look. My issue is when I'm all Chester McChesty by accident-- I'm thinking nobody wins.

*My invention is a small sticky sticker that can be stuck in between the second and third button holding the shirt together at that middle button spot without fear of it opening wide for the full chest display. If anyone patents that-- I get 30%.

The end.

ok bye!
tOdd

PS. The site might get sporatical updates this week because I'll be in San Fran at this FlashForward conference thingee. Leaving in the AM and speaking there and stuff. (Apologies to people who wanted to attend but don't want to go in on the expensive conference ticket thing. They asked me to go and hooked me up so that's that blah blah etc.) But I'll check in with updates as much as I can. And I'll definitely update this Twitter thing as I travel around from the airport or whatever-- although I can't promise the updates won't get all annoying wicked fast.

The Irrational Fear of the Address Label Psycho

2008-08-17T20:17:00.015-04:00

So today I headed up to the Yankee game. Friend of mine got awesome seats thru work! I ate an $8.50 hotdog and it tasted like a $3.00 hotdog at best. Was fun to watch Yankee kick Royal ass from three rows back! Here's a picture I took from my seat!

(Tough name on that guy. Click to see). Yes, I'll post Pictures for the Week later this week after I've gathered up smore.

Anyway, it was a long subway ride to the game so I took a couple magazines with me. Time and Mental Floss. I take magazines on the subway with me all the time-- but I never throw them away. I always just leave em on a bench or whatever. I feel there's all these people standing around waiting for trains all day-- somebody might appreciate a free magazine.

I'm not sure if I could ever go in on picking up a 'used' magazine because I'd have a fear of touching a stray booger stuck to one of the pages or phlegm goo from a sneeze or something. (If that happened I'd have to run home and boil my hand in Lysol or something). But I'm sure there's people out there not as paranoid as me about that stuff.

Anyway, there's one thing I always have to do before leaving a magazine lying around all willy nilly. I have to rip off the home address label and throw it away. I'm sure I'm not alone in this. But today I took a look at why I was bothering to do that. Why did I bother to rip off the address label? When it comes down to it there's only one rational reason I can think of...

The psycho. The psycho who will pick up my old magazine and see my name and address-- and something will click for this person that will suggest that they come to my house and do up a big psycho super surprise for me. That my address was put in their path for their own "reason". That they'll be the sniper guy who 'really hates these cans' from The Jerk.

Other than that there's nothing else I can think of for ripping off the address label. What's a normal person gonna do with my address info? Nothing. Plus, everyone knows you have a much better chance of snagging a personal psycho just walking around town. The chances of your psycho finding your magazine with your address and shoving both levers full steam ahead into crazyville is just... crazy to think.

Put it this way, I'm more than willing to leave a whole bundle of magazines on my curb every recycling day! Right in front of my friggin house! A commute free stalk! And who knows where they end up...

But today my irrational fear of the random psycho didn't keep me from ripping off the labels once again.

Better crazy safe than crazy sorry I guess...

ok bye!
tOdd

Saw Tropic Thunder + Hillybilly Roscoe video!

2008-08-13T23:53:00.011-04:00

The review is posted up over yonder HERE.

Also I took a video of Roscoe with his new non-toof look. Still feel bad about the ordeal.

You can check it out here. Hillbilly Roscoe!

No posting bad comments about it tho. Roscoe is self-conscious.

ok bye!
tOdd

In Defense of Dining Solo

2008-08-12T20:43:00.006-04:00

I'm usually not a guy who likes eating in a restaurant by himself. If I'm eating by myself I'm more of an 'in-front of the tv' kind of guy. If I order chinese food I grab my pot with the handle. I dump some rice in. Some chinese food in. And I sit there holding the handle and shoveling it in.

It's always been hard for me to understand why somebody would prefer to sit in a restaurant if they're going to be eating alone. You can't eat out of a pot with a handle in a restaurant! Why not just stay home and not worry about anything?

Here's a quick list of things I thunk up that seems weird about eating out alone:

1. Feeling like an eavesdropper on the people sitting around you.
2. Wondering if people are wondering if you have no friends.
3. Wondering if people are wondering if you're a murderer who's about to shoot up the place.
4. Feeling weirdly ghostly. Like you're there but you're not.
5. Wondering if people are wondering if if you've been stood up by someone.
6. Becoming hyperaware of everyone like 'chewing' and getting grossed out by the smacky noises and annoyed by the clanks of forks.
7. Having a fear that a group of people you know will walk in and it'll be awkward.
8. Hearing an outburst of laughter from some table and feeling lonely.
9. Fear of sitting next to a loud talker who makes you crazy.

I could go on and on. There's lots of things to make dining in a restaurant that might make me uncomfortable-- but for the most part it's all spinning wheels in insecure mud. Things that keep me from relaxing and enjoying myself on a quiet vibe.

But last night I went out to eat by myself. Two reasons really.

1. My dog had some sort of weird reaction to the anesthetic and yesterday he was puking (better today!)-- and the vet told me not to feed him anything till his stomach settles down. So all night he was involuntarily fasting and looking at me like, 'Where's my dinner, Dad?' So I wasn't going to eat chinese food in his face while he's got toof pain and hungry. That would be a dick move.

2. I've been trying to ween myself off television as much as possible. And part of that includes eating in front of the tv. And I know if I order up food I'll be right in front of that friggin tv.

So I decided to head to this Italian place down the street. And brought a book I just started that I'm more than half-digging called The Night of the Gun. Tis here.

I walked down the street swinging a book in one hand (vaguely feeling like a show-off bookworm nerd being all showy about the fact that I am reading a book. Like I was accessorizing myself with something that made a statement! "I'm smart! I read!" Like the book might as well said Advanced Complex Calculus Physics for Super Expert Smart People or somethin

(OOH! TWO CAR PEOPLE YELLING AT EACH OTHER OUTSIDE MY WINDOW! ONE SEC!)

Bah! Nothing good.

Anyway, I sit down in this restaurant and I took a corner table. I ordered a glass of wine and linguine with clam sauce. And just sat there reading. I didn't care about the people around me. I tuned them out. Yeah, occasionally eavesdropping but not interested in their conversation. I didn't care what these strangers were saying or thinking. I didn't mind if they thought I was a murderer.

The waitress was perfectly nice and extra attentive actually. (Maybe out of sympathy but whatever-- I'll take it). The linguine was way good. I wasn't concerned about splattering it all over myself either as I was wearing my dirty all-day shirt. I didn't miss random conversation. I got through a chapter of the book. And I appreciated paying a check that was simply just mine.

Granted eating out alone may be a slippery slope to hermitdom-- but I don't think I'm gonna go that route. I'm way too insecure and self-conscious to actually become a real deal holyfield hermit. And I'm sure I'm not the type of person that will eat out solo on a regular basis because I like being home too much.

But once in a while-- if you have a chance to take a break from everything-- I recommend eating alone. Grab a book, or a magazine or newspaper or comic book or whatever and just try it. Take the social hit (it's really not a hard hit).

It's just quiet and nice... and quiet.

ok bye!
tOdd

Brush Your Dog's Toofuses!!!

2008-08-11T17:15:00.011-04:00

So I just got back from picking up my dog from the vet. He had two toofs extracted. Two middle ones, lower level in the front. Apparently, they were kind of crooked and they trapped like hair and glop and it all got stuck in there-- and caused an bacterial infection which rooned stuff.

The dog dentist had to clean out the whole teeth area and put a fake bone in there to replace what he took out or whatever. Roscoe is home now and he's sort of out of it but is ok. (He's giving me looks though).

I feel really guilty about it. I know I'm supposed to brush his teeth and I've tried to every now and then!-- but Roscoe totally was difficult about it and I kind of blew it off. I would buy dental chewies or whatever. And had an attitude like, 'Wolves don't get their teeth brushed! I can't imagine dogs really need it.' This is probably some BS to sell me more pet junk.

It's not.

Dogs need their teeth brushed! And if you think your dog doesn't need it-- he/she does. Just ask Roscoe. So stop neglecting your dog's toofuses so your dog doesn't end up looking like my dog all like a hillybilly toofus doofus with a bad dad.

Go brush em right now! Prevents tartar build up! Promotes fresh breath! And is healthier all around! Plus you don't have to spend hundreds of dollars getting their teeth yanked out of their head like me!

Don't be a bad dog dad or mom! Don't get a guilt trip! Brusha brusha brusha!

ok bye!
tOdd

PS. From the vet:

PPS. Also for cats!

PPS. Also to commenter person, the issue wasn't his food. Roscoe gets good dog food only. Mix of dry and canned. And sometimes scraps from the table. His teeth were not rotting from too much Fun Dip or whatever. It was that stuff got trapped in between his bottom teeth (hair, food, whatever) which caused an infection of the gum.

Where's All My Peanut Butter!!!!?

2008-08-11T10:48:00.004-04:00

WTF!!! Some ghost or something keeps eating my peanut butter!! Every time I open the jar there's much MUCH less than should be there!! I'm not eating all my peanut butter! I only eat peanut butter like once or twice a week so where's all the peanut butter going!!?! Granted sometimes I'll just do a spoonful and eat it but not THAT often! I KNOW there should be more peanut butter in there!

Stop eating my peanut butter you peanut butter eating ghost (or demon!) !! Eat mayo or something! Or that old relish! Or drink soy sauce!!

But enough with eating all my peanut butter!!!

ok bye!
tOdd

PS. FYI if you don't like chunky peanut butter you're like totally mental or something! It's so much better! Period end of story!

My New TV Technique

2008-08-10T19:22:00.009-04:00

So the other day I posted something about No-TV people and it set me off thinking about it over the weekend. It made me realize I watch a dangerous amount of tv.

But I know there's no way I have it in me to be a real deal No-TV person. I love good movies. I'm a total news junkie (and need my election coverage in the Fall). I like American Idol. And Intervention. And The Misadventures of Flap Jack. And Dog Whisperer. And America's Test Kitchen. And ABC World News... ;-)

I guess what disturbs me about my TV watching style is how much time I burn watching nothing. Sometimes it's just a worthless show on E! or a crap movie (did I really need to watch Mr. Woodcock?)-- and sometimes I watch literally nothing. I'll just flip through the menu searching for something to flag to watch down the road. Storing up crap to watch for later.

But when there's nothing to watch. I watch nothing good. And do nothing good.

So here's what I did today, I used parental controls to block all channels that should never be watched. Right now all I have running are like my top ten channels. Everything else doesn't come up. Kicking it old school sorta. I do like watching TVs. And I do like watching movies. So I'm not going to be a freaky No-TV person-- but I think I can work to become a No-Terrible-TV person.

It's day one and I just flipped through my list of ten channels. And there was nothing to watch. And noticed that the stuff I might have clicked on pre-lock-- I was appreciative to not have the option. So I shut off the tv and I went to do nothing somewhere else. (Like surf around at nothing).

Yeah, I do have the PIN # so I can get past stuff if need be. Right now it serves as a strongly worded reminder. But if I find myself cheating-- I can also have the PIN reset to something I don't know... or something. That's Plan B if need be.

But for now it's a start.

ok bye!
tOdd

Ready Aim Draw!

2008-08-10T09:57:00.002-04:00

The Bird's Nest Bowl?

2008-08-09T12:35:00.005-04:00

Not to be like totally rude but doesn't this Bird's Nest stadium thing look sorta like a big toilet seat?

Like imagine some big giant samurai guy like squatting down on that and making dookie and stuff. Plop.

I do like it from the side angle tho...

What's Up with the No-TV People

2008-08-07T15:25:00.010-04:00

So along the way now and then I come across someone who doesn't have a TV in their house. They don't own one. They proudly stand by the idea of keeping their lives simply without the horrible garbagey blare of TV blasting off their walls or something. They like their books. And their magazines. And their music. And their peace and quiet. Ok. I get it... sort of.

I do understand that TV is way all over me and probably unhealthy in the large doses that I take daily. It probably is making my brain slower. But no tv!? At all? Not even a little one in the kitchen or something? Whenever I talk to a 'no-tv' person I think back to the night Diana died. I remember I was sitting in a studio apartment being wowed by the early days of the internet. Getting my mind blown by AOL IM and Duke Nukem over dial-up etc. Then news broke on TV! Diana got mushed up in a car! Whoa!

I glued up to the TV and I immediately got on the phone and started calling around to people to wow out with them. And at the time I was friends with a No-TV chick and I called her up and told her the news. I gave her the play by play. There was video of the crunched Mercedes! Paparazzi chase! France! I could feel how badly she wanted a TV at that moment. She wanted more details. I could hear in her voice she was questioning her person philosophical stance. She wanted to see what was going on.

And that's what gets me about No-TV people. I understand wanting to control the level of TV in your house. But no TV at all? Not even after 9/11? And no way to even play a movie? What about a TV/DVD player only situation? Don't they wanna watch a movie now and then? At least?

And it is confusing as to what a No-TV lifestyle is really rooted in? Being brainally allergic to video? A conversation piece sacrifice? Controlling a potential addiction? The need for certain sanctuary? A technological/entertainment snobbery? Is it about them? Or us? Or both? I dunno-- but sometimes after talking to No TV people I feel like an idiot for having one and watching it.

I dunno. I'm far from a No-TV kind of lifestyle fortunately and unfortunately-- but there is a side of me that is jealous of no-tv people. Slightly. A glimmer there of it being the right way. Maybe I wouldn't miss TV? Maybe I'd smarten up? I'd definitely read more books. And get more stuff done.

But WTF! I'd be constantly distracted by the 'what happens if something's happening happens!?'

ok bye!
tOdd

The Old F--kin' Answering Machine Story

2008-08-06T10:52:00.010-04:00

When I was like I dunno 14-15 years old or something I was hanging out with a friend of mine and we were screwing around with my family answer machine recording stupid outgoing answering machine messages and playing them back.

I remember we did one as pirates being like all, 'Yarrr this and yarrr that. You called our pirate ship yarr....' Beeep... Or one that was like all trippy hippy stoner. Whatever. Stupid.

Anyway, we did one that was like angry at the person for calling. All like, 'Hey motherf--ker! F you for calling mother f'er because we hate you go F yourself asshole... and everything was all F you and F this and you're a mother F'er for calling F face f'er. F F F. The whole thing was one big F you with us saying f--k as much as possible--- and that was the joke. On and on with F.

While we were recording that message the phone rang and I immediately shut off the answering machine because I was afraid it was going to go off and answer. My mom took the call and we went off to do other stuff-- And the answering machine game ended.

The next day, I was working camp counselor. (Both my parents worked during the day too). And I was camp counseloring around when I remembered the answering machine game. And start thinking... 'Hmm.... I kind of don't remember putting a regular outgoing message on the machine...I kind of just remember doing the f--k one and... .' So I headed to a payphone and called my house and heard the machine pick up...

"Hey motherf--ker!!! Why you calling this house asshole stupid motherf--ker?! Why don't you go f--k yourself f--k face f--ker!? Because your a stupid f--k, f--ker....' And on and on and on... Then beeeeeep.

I was like, 'HOLY F--K!!' I was trapped at camp! (I didn't have a car. I took the camp bus there.) I didn't know what to do. So I called my mom and confessed to leaving a really bad outgoing message. She told me that it wasn't a big deal or whatever (Probably thinking it was innocent like the pirate thing or whatever.) But when she called the house she was totally horrified. She couldn't leave work either-- so she told me if anyone calls and gets offended I'm going to have to apologize in person and blah blah...

I got home first and headed straight for the answering machine praying the light wasn't blinking. It was. I pressed play. Three messages! The first two were hangups (phew?) and third was just some guy who grumbled, 'What the f--k...' And then hung up.

And that was that. F--k!

ok bye!
tOdd

Stuff in the Mail and Stuff...

2008-08-05T16:09:00.005-04:00

Hey!

Just hung out with my nephew for the past couple days and I'm all zonked now. I don't know how you parents do it. I seriously don't.

Anyway, I did go by the PO Box today and picked up alot of goodies!! If you sent something in it is here and I have it (I assume) and thank you and I'll be scanning stuff and posting soon.

Thanks and if you haven't sent in a postcard yet send it on in! PO Box 187 NYC 10014! (Roscoe also accepts mail at that address).

Here's one coolio letter that I just opened. Thanks to Stef O for taking the time and good vibes to y'all!

--tOdd

Roscoe music video! And new Mov-ay Review! And Random Things! And a New Poll! And Test Yourself!

2008-08-03T17:39:00.024-04:00

Howdy! Hope you had a good weekend! My nephew is coming to town today to hang out and stay over and stuff so no big updates today (we're gonna go here and here and here and some other places) but here's some stuff to do. And there's coolio coolio funlink and good news today.

Hey! Here's the Weekly Stuff including Monday Annoyances! Random emails! Gross Bathroom story and more stuff! Click here! Also I saw a french frog movie called Tell No One! And I wrote a movay review for it! Tis here!

And here's a Weekly Poll! Featuring ten random youtube type videos. Vote on which one you wanna watch first then watch em up! Farting babies and dumb dogs and the Joker! Click here and vote!

And yet another Roscoe music video!

Yes, I found a video program and I'm like first day with a new toy. Microsoft Movie Maker? I think it might suck. What's the best video program for PC people?

ABC World News freelance toon...

2008-08-01T00:01:00.013-04:00

Here's the freelance thingee that I done worked on that ran last night. Etc... yadda and blah blah.

PS. Mep is pissed because he got edited out. Very.

PPS. And yah, I'm working on being like 'credited' and stuff for this stuff ;-)

PPPS. Here's a few more of these if you wanna watch em ABC News things
here and here and here

The Ma-Ho-Ge Summer

2008-07-30T10:26:00.030-04:00

So when I was a kid my brother and me ( I!) went to sleepaway camp. The first camp we went to was called Camp Ma-Ho-Ge. On the surface it seemed like a nice camp. It had a long history or whatever. I remember the Camp Director guy came to our house to sell my parents on sending us to this place. And they signed us up. And that summer off we went! On a bus! To Camp! For eight weeks! Yay!!

The first thing I remember is walking into my bunk and seeing fly paper hanging everywhere. I had never really seen fly paper before. And it was already covered in flies. But as a kid, the grossness factor never really clicked in. It was just the way things were. There were flies everywhere. Done. And biting flies. And mosquitoes. And gnats. Accepted.

Although my memories of this camp are hazy because I was a little kid (maybe nine?) I remember the camp being very loose. The bulk of my memories involve me wandering around with friends doing whatever we wanted whenever. Sometimes shirtless all day. Yeah, there was some sort of loose schedule but it was never like you had to go to anything.

Like, I remember one day just walking up to the archery range and picking up bows and arrows all willy nilly. No counselor around. When we got bored of shooting targets we shot arrows over the net on purpose. If they really got good distance they'd go over the trees and land near soccer field! (Ha ha?) Another day we just walked off in the woods with bows and arrows and played 'Indians'.

Another time, I headed down to the lake with a friend and we took out kayaks with no life jackets or anything. We just got in and paddled off to the middle of the lake. Eventually we got whistled and waved into the shore but we didn't get in trouble or anything. We were in the middle of the lake! In kayaks! With no vests!

Anyway, by the middle of the summer I had enough of Ma-Ho-Ge. So did my brother. We had enough of the flies and the insane level of freedom. (Plus one counselor burned me with a cigarette 'by accident'). So on 'Visiting Day', my brother and I planned to tell my parents we were ready to come home. That we didn't like it anymore.

Of course, the camp really cleaned up its act to make everything look all nice nice for the parents. Not only did we have to wear shirts (all of a sudden so formal?) but we had to wear our official Ma-Ho-Ge 'greens'. And the bunks had to be cleaned up! We had to make our beds! The fly paper needed to be changed! (So fancy!) There were schedules! It transformed itself into a different camp.

My parents arrived and we immediately told them we wanted go home. We didn't really give specifics other than we hated it there. But to my parents, it looked like a very nice camp. And they figured we were just homesick kids being babies. I assume if I had told them about the cigarette burn or the shooting arrows onto the soccer field they might have thought twice then. But that was just the way camp was. I didn't realize it was altogether wrong. I didn't realize I needed to present a case to come home.

So we all went through perceived charade of Visiting Day activities. There were no counselors smoking around kids. No playing 'Indians' in the woods with bows and arrows. Life guards were on duty. We all wore shirts. It was all a complete fraud. And the whole time we kept telling my parents that we had to get back to pack! That we were ready to go home!

We didn't realize our parents had no intention on taking us home. Ruin their summer by having us back? Just cause we were being babies? Giving in to these two brats who can't appreciate a perfectly fine camp!? F that! They sort of ignored the 'go home' thing all day.

At the end of the day they finally told us we had to stay. We couldn't believe it. Betrayed! We ran and locked ourselves in the family car. We refused to go back! Refused to go back to Camp Ma-Ho-Terrible! The head camp guy actually had to come help my parents get us out of the car and drag us back to our bunks. Like prisoners who just got turned down for parole.

Back to the flies. Back to the danger. Back to the cigarettes. For four more weeks!

The camp closed down the next summer (or was condemned or whatever). It was obviously on its last legs. Ma-Ho-Ge was done. And the next few summers we went to a new coolio camp that was actually safe and organized. A great camp. Thanks ma and pah!

But to this day, whenever my brother and me want to throw a guilt trip on my parents we bust out the Ma-Ho-Ge experience-- and how they wouldn't let us come home. How they didn't take us seriously then. How they ditched us in an unsupervised swamp for eight weeks. And how they didn't take our word.

Yeah, I guess we're still bratty that way...

ok bye!
tOdd

PS. In the comments section someone pointed out that there's still some activity with the Camp. Apologies to anyone who has fond memories. I'm sure there were many, many good summers there... the last one however... it's safe to say-- wasn't one of the best.

PPS. My mom has already emailed to me to apologize yet again...

The TV Dis-collection

2008-07-27T19:38:00.005-04:00

So anyway, a while ago I posted stuff about how I like old TV sets and how I've been half-assing collecting them for years a future project.

I don't know what it is-- but I just dig the design and the oldness of old electronics and stuff. Especially TVs. My long term idea is when I'm 80 years old I'm gonna be like a crazy old koot who tinkers around with old TV's and fixes them up. Hunts down tubes or whatever. Learn the trade. And have some room in the house where they're just stacked up and all working and stuff. So I've been bringing them home now and then-- sort of like a layaway plan for my future crazy old man obsession.

Here's a quick recap of a few TVs that I have in the apartment:

This guy works! Takes a long time to warm up. It's a General Electric.

(btw that book on top is the 'The Big Book of Breasts' and that Yoda answers Yes/No questions when you squeeze his hand. Both great gifts from peeps!)

This thing weighs like 1000 lbs and sits next to my computer. It doesn't work
at all. Pretty coolio design tho.

This guy is my fave. It doesn't work but he was gonna be the first one I
fixed up...

Anyway, last week I had a bunch of people over and one dude was like, 'What's with all the old TV's?' And I told him that I've been collecting them sort of but the long term plan is to be a kooky old guy who fixes old TVs!' He was like, "Umm... Sort of sucks they'll never really work though." I was like, "They're totally gonna work! I'm gonna get the tubes! And wire thingees!" And he was like, 'No. You know they're gonna stop transmitting TV over the air sometime soon. Rabbit ear sets won't work...'

Doh! I had heard about this but somehow I had blocked it out. Or didn't relate it properly to my long term plan. Basically, if you have a TV that runs on rabbit ears-- you're out of luck next year. They're flipping the switch to OFF and that'll be that. No more airwaves! Totally ruins my plans!! I can't get motivated to fix them if they're never gonna pick up any channels!

And WTF am I gonna do with all these old TVs now!? Sure I could probably learn to hook em up to be cable ready once I get them working-- but it's not the same! Not the same old! Am I supposed to just throw them out?!? Damn you gods of television transmission! You totally derailed my collection! My future project!

I dunno. Maybe I'll turn them all into fishtanks or something. And be the crazy old guy who turns old tvs into fishtanks or something... but it just doesn't have the same ring.

ok bye!
tOdd

PS. Here's smore info on the rabbit ears going bye bye thing.

PPS. Old post re: tvs is here.

PPPS. Been slacking on photos but passed by this the other day on a traffic box-- and it made me smiley. I like that its in a tv...

Considering Detoxing It Up

2008-07-26T18:38:00.012-04:00

So anyway, every now and then I feel like my body (by the way, I do have an awesome natural physique if you ignore the chicken legs, no butt, never-lifted arms, slouchy slouch, and roundy gut) calls out for some sort of bad food/drink detox thing. Go all pure. No beer, no wine, no red meat, no other meat, no processed food, no bad things, no white sugar, no caffeine and all that. Just go clean hardcore.

It's not that I feel unhealthy. I just sometimes think it would actually be healthy for the hell of it-- and I'd be curious to see how I'd feel afterwards. Like would I feel superman style awesome after going on a juice diet for 7-days? And bonus by losing the 10 lbs that I've been working on losing for over 3 years now? Would I be psyched? Or after a few days would I just be lying on the couch pantless in a t-shirt watching the phone ring from across the room and moaning about cookies and yelling at the phone to shut up?

So I google around at the different varieties or detox diets. Raw foods only. Herbal whatever. Doody blast focused stuff. The lemonade diet. The water only thing. Bubble Yum only all day everyday diet. And the more I google the less realistic it gets. And I'll also read more and more that its unnecessary. That our bodies can deal with detox just fine. That's what peeing is all about (OOOH BIG THUNDER CRACK JUST NOW AWESOME!!!! Roscoe nicely unaffected...) or whatever.

Anyway, I think it probably would just be an interesting challenge more than a necessity of sorts. Maybe like a fun way of losing 10lbs in a week or whatever? And something my body wants? Or maybe I'm just bored with what's in my fridge? I dunno...

ok bye!
tOdd

PS> Mike Tyson's Abandoned Mansion. The house that boxing built.
(photos!)

Top Ten Procrastination Things From Yesterday

2008-07-25T09:27:00.008-04:00

So like I took on alot of freelance work to like pay my bills and stuff. Working on cartoons for this and that and blah blah blah. But at the end of the day I was like, 'Man. I didn't get nearly nuttin done! I've been here all day! What the hell did I do-- all day!?'

Here's the top ten things I did while procrastinating yesterday.

10. There was a wasp in my apartment. At first I saw him in the kitchen and left him alone but once he started buzzing around the apartment I needed him outta here. I opened up all the windows and upped the screens and chased him around persuading him to fly out without pissing him off and making him turn on me and sting me twenty times in my left eyeball. (15-20 minutes until he got the message and got the hell outta here.)

9. I had to clean the blades of my oscillating fans. I noticed with both of them were pretty gunked up. So were the fan cages (or whatever they're called). They were gross! What is that gunky stuff? I took them into the shower and cleaned them squeaky clean and then put them back together. (20 minutes easy)

8. I've been thinking about getting a new cheap laptop for my upcoming travels. (My big clunking 20lb toshiba probably qualifies for a desktop computer now.) So I surfed ebay and other places for a cheepee laptop. I even bid on a Sony Vaio that was pink! I was like, 'I don't care that its pink!' But bidding was way early and it went way up and I dropped out. I nervously wondered about refurb. I'd say I spent a good hour screwing around for laptops. (1 hour)
Please post below if you actually know a goodie or good place for deals.

7. I have that duster spray stuff that comes in a can and I went nuts with that cleaning dust all over my apartment. Yes, I realize it's not technically 'cleaning' when you're just blowing dust everywhere. But it sure do look cleaner and its so satisfying! And I like how the can gets cold although I have a mild fear its gonna splode in my hand. (10-12 minutes)

6. After dusting, I decided to vacuum but my vacuum hasn't been sucking lately so I opened it up to see what was going on and was happily surprised to see that the bag had half-fallen off the hole part and half the dust and dirt was being sucked directly into the inside of the vacuum. I had to hook the bag back up then actually vacuum the inside of the vacuum. (25 minutes)

5. My computer has been running badly slow and freezing here or there. I decided I need more RAM as I only have 1gb in this now. I need another gb. So I googled for RAM but didn't buy anything. Then I spent some time hunting for worthless giant files and uninstalling long dead applications. (40-45 minutes)

4. My nieces 4th birthday is coming up. So I started poking around on the web for something to get her for her birthday. What do you get a 4-year old? I ended up getting her a digital camera made for little little kids. I hope she likes it. And I hope she doesn't read this blog and it spoils the surprise and stuff.

3. Yesterday was Thursday-- and Friday is recycling day. So I had to break down my boxes and tie up magazines and put all bottles in a bag. I'm pretty good with recycling. I'd give myself an 80%. I admit slip on cans and sometimes get lazy with plastic water bottles. But I have bad excuses and made-up theories for slacking on that stuff!

2. I've actually been half-assing the idea of taking a trip to China in October to visit Mr. Deng. A friend of mine is all up on going to China and I'm like, 'Well... I could visit Mr. Deng.' So I googled around to see where Mr. Deng actually lives compared to big cities and stuff. I learned that China is very big and it's far away-- and pretty dang expensive to get there. But maybe...? (Deng archive is here.)

1. I tried to think of the best excuses why my projects might be slightly delayed-- and made the appropriate phone calls and sent off a couple emails to push stuff back a day or so. Twas fine! I got till Monday now! Coolio!

But today is the day I seriously plan to work! Roscoe is at doggie day care! After finishing typing this I'm gonna get cracking mcnizzle! Ready... set! GO!!

Ok... that didn't work.

Let me try again... GO!!!!

Still sitting here apparently...

Go! Go! Go!

ok bye!

tOdd

PS. Still ain't doin nuttin yet... Hmm... maybe I should get my laundry together or something just to get that out of the way.

Wondering About Waxy Swirls and Mini Spices

2008-07-24T00:13:00.005-04:00

1.

Anyway, so yesterday I was walking around and I passed by a parked car that had white waxy looking swirls all over it. Like someone decided they were going to wax the car and they swirled it up with turtle wax or whatever-- and then like let it sit in the sun or something and it burned right in permanent style. Like they waxed on-- but didn't wax off?

I guess this happens when someone doesn't read the car wax directions properly? Like they just do the swirls and figure they're done but when it dries they're like all 'Oh no! I done roont it!' (Is that what it is?) It's surprising that someone who cares enough about their car to wax it themselves doesn't know how to wax it right. Especially when they must have seen wax roont cars with swirly swirls before-- and wondered how somebody could have done something like that?

(Or is this something else altogether? And I'm a car idiot? Or maybe you don't even know what the hell I'm even talking about.)

2.

Once in a blue moon I'll cook something and the recipe will call for fresh spices. Maybe parsley. Maybe like dill or garlic. And here's the thing... I don't need that much friggin parsley!! Or dill!! Or garlic! Why is it all sold in essentially bulk quantities! I'm only cooking once but I'm like forced to buy a crazy amount! Imagine if I did that with the chicken! What am I gonna do with 50 stalks of dill? Or a lettuce head full of parsley? Hey! I don't even put it in the fridge and wait for it to go bad-- out of respect! I break off what I need and then immediately throw the whole thing in the friggin garbage! I know I'll never use it! (Except the garlic that sits there until it turns into a plant). I don't understand the illusion people have when they put something in the fridge when they no for a fact it'll never be eaten or used.

So here's what I think. It's time for you shrinkoid marketing wizards to develop and sell mini-sized portions of fresh spices! Bonsai tree sized parsley! Dill that only grows in little sprigs or something! And cherry tomato sized garlic! Package it smaller! Enough for one recipe! And stop this spice wasting that's going on!

Get on this now or else I'm gonna start stealing little bits of spice from the store! Just enough for me! I'll be a friggin spice thief! And do you realize how embarrassing it would be if I got caught and arrested and thrown jail where I'd have to explain to those criminal guys I was in there with them for stealing dill?! Doesn't get more pussy than that crimewise!!

ok bye!
tOdd

Blog Bash Beeswax

2008-07-21T23:30:00.000-04:00

So ever since I started this blog thing a week ago I've been getting angry emails and some grumpy comments for different reasons.

Like, people got mad at me for bashing Dark Knight. Like I'm some kind of wang who doesn't know how to watch a movie correctly. Like I wrote bad stuff about it just to be a jerk and peed on a masterpiece for fun. I wish I loved that movie. Believe me.

People got upset because I typed a really long post about how I screwed up going to the midnight showing. Telling me I write too much with too many words. It was a long story! What was I supposed to do!

When I typed this jokey thing about going out to dinner with a bunch of people I got accused of being a snob who judges people. I just sort of felt the whole thing was a goof. I don't think the person who gets their entree last is a "loser". I'm usually that guy! And it's not like I'm going out to 'dinner parties' all the time by the way. (I guess I typed it all vague like I go to them all the time because I didn't want to offend the people I recently went out with if they decide to read my blog. Apologies to them if I did. I wasn't talking about you.) And no, I'm not secretly rich btw.

Also people don't like this summer blog thing at all. They think the whole site is confusing now and they miss the daily stuff or whatever. Sorry bout that but I just need a little downtime to catch up and this helps.

So I just wanted to say apologies if I've offended you in some way by how I write or what I write or what I'm not doing or whatever. I just type stuff that comes into my head from the things I do and the stuff I see and how I see it. So there.

It's hard for me because I do want this to be a good vibes place and I guess I'll admit it gets to me when people get upset just by coming here. It really is just me sitting in my apartment with my dog so maybe I do go mental from time to time. And it has been all humid lately and I've been sweaty.

I'll try to be more open minded with fun and less "wordy" I guess. Maybe this post was too wordy too?

Good vibes to y'all!

ok bye!
tOdd

PS. Yes, I know the Ducky Duck site is all clunky this year!! It's not my fault and I don't know why it's all changed! I complained to them alot. But very much thanks to the people who joined the team!