Pinku-Enchanted Life

Approval...Does it matter?

2009-06-01T15:34:00.004+05:30

I have always been strong headed and very sure of what, who and where I want to be in life. There have been many negatives to this “I know best” attitude however the one positive has been that I have also maintained that since my decisions and actions in most cases have been my own, I very rarely blame anyone else for the outcome.

I firmly believe that whatever fate doles out to me are things I am responsible for and blaming someone else are signs of a weak character.

From my choice of education to career to friends (and boyfriends) to husbands and work I have always gone with my own sometimes thoughtout decisions and mostly whims and fancies.

Answering many a raised eyebrows with an “it’s my life” and “I don’t care” statements I have been meandering through life. However truth be told the secret dream of my choices being seen in the right light by my family and friends and their approval given has always been there.

Why did I stay in a marriage which from the first day seemed futile? Simply because I didn’t want a disappointed family especially mom. I flogged the dead horse and tried to make it move till I ached all over and I realized that all my attempts were useless since IT WAS DEAD.

So coming back to the point of social approval it does play an important part though I would like to think otherwise. There have been periods when the “I don’t care” feeling has lasted for months only to be replaced by a secret “I do care”. At other times the replacement has been faster almost as soon as the deed was done.

How do you feel about this? I have a feeling we all oscillate between these two feelings. I perhaps tend to cling on to the ‘don’t care’ side more but I do go to the other side too. And that movement is almost out of my power.

Now why am I saying all this here today?

For two reasons one: a decision I took almost a year and a half ago and which at the time seemed a huge risk has turned out to be not such a bad idea after all for me personally and secondly people whose opinion matters have finally given a nod of approval to that decision.

Feels good, believe me.

For that historic meeting I took along a cake made by a dear friend and while I didn’t say so at the time but while cutting it I felt it was a celebration no less and the cake cutting just the right bit of ceremony to indulge in :)

My recipes

2009-05-21T12:50:00.004+05:30

Calming nerves
Take a long deep breathe, a short walk and visualizing a happy scene from the past completely unrelated to the present crisis in great detail.

Fighting stress
Check out the situation rationally, understand what is there that I can do to better it, do it, send up a quick prayer and then trust in God to deliver me from the problem.

Feeling loved

Re-reading old mails from friends and lovers.

Relaxation
A nice book, munchies, a tall chilled drink, mountains in the horizon and a nice tummy to rest my head on.

Feeling low
A quick bout of shopping for stuff,
could be as mundane as daily groceries just remember to pick up one or two feel good things (chocolates work for me).

Ending a going nowhere argument with the partner
A tight body-enveloping hug and a long kiss

These are my recipes...what about yours?

My Holy Books

2009-04-21T14:49:00.006+05:30

What are holy books?
The simple answer would be books on religion and God which are revered by many and which it’s believed hold the word and direction of God.
People are ready to die for the books they believe as holy. From the Koran to Bible to the Torah and the Bhagvad Gita there have been instances where people have laid down their life to rescue these books from fire, flood or attackers.

I was born to Hindu parents so logically all the books held as holy by the Hindus should be the ones that be holy to me. From the Gita to the Ramayan to the Mahabharta and of course the Veds and Upanishads all were to be revered.

I studied in a convent for twelve years of my life which of course were also the most impressionable therefore the Bible was expected to be the Book I would respect.

Frequenting the Gurdwaras in the neighbourhood made bowing down infront of the Guru Granth Sahib a practice.

Similarly friends who treated me to lovely biryani and sewaiyian at their homes helped me understand the importance of the Koran and how though the Jews, Christians and Muslims keep fighting all over the world they share the same theological genes.

But none of these have been able to become My Holy Book. Not that I don’t respect them, I do. But somewhere they seem too ancient for me to feel that deep connect within.

To me, my Holy Books are those which have changed or influenced my life and given me a completely new perspective.

The first of these is a book called Exodus by Leon Uris – this was the first grown-ups novel I read when I was around ten or eleven. It initially shattered me for I had not heard of Hitler till then other than in passing and the atrocities that the book spoke about were too much for a young mind.
However as I went through the book my first heroes were born with Ari Ben Cannan leading them. I was so completely influenced by this book that I assumed that I was actually a Jewess who by accident had been interchanged at birth with my mother’s real child.
I knew all the numbers related to the second world war by heart, how many died at which camp to how many soldiers landed on the shores of Normandy and turned the tide of the war. All this because of Exodus. I can tell you I was the favourite student of my history teacher Sister Joyce.
Now that I have grown up the book still teaches me the lesson that hard work and determination can do wonders and it urges me to make that one last attempt, yet again.

Another book which altered my mindset is The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho. The deep message the book sought to convey through the parable of the simple story of a shepherd got etched in my mind. Following my dreams and creating my own destiny are my religion thanks to Coelho whose subsequent books continue to influence me greatly.

While I was going through separation and a very nasty divorce I read a book called Jean Christophe by Romain Rolland, apart from a story well told the last page of the novel which I read in the light of a rising sun helped me traverse the sad times stoically.

Atlas Shrugged apart from all its socially relevant messages taught me that being a girl cant be the reason to bow down to sad politicking of men who unable to compete or excel would fall back on maligning as the only weapon. Ayn Rand is an inspiration in the true sense of the word.

There now I have told you about my Holy books. Which ones are yours?

The Fighters

2009-04-20T17:06:00.001+05:30

Hi,

The fight for saving the Ridley Turtles continues here.

Manic Monday Turns Sweet

2009-04-13T09:57:00.003+05:30

Monday blues are at their worst today. What else is to be expected after a three day weekend??
I came to office almost moaning....oh how could I let the weekend end???

The first mail in my in-box however uplifted my mood...so I thought let me be magnanimous and share it with all of you as well :)

Check out this link on Kishi and you will know what I mean.
Sweet monday to all of you out there!!!!!

Will they....wont they....ever wake up that is

2009-04-08T13:41:00.001+05:30

Hi!

This is a quick post to bring to your notice the lovely way we as a democracy function.

Please check the link below and let me know in whose ears should we say Jaago ree???

http://pinknblu.blogspot.com/2009/04/jaagore-form-6-being-tossed-for-six.html

Who is afraid of the Taliban?

2009-03-31T13:20:00.002+05:30

The Taliban is just twelve kilometers away from Indian borders the headlines screamed yesterday on a news channel. Again and again they showed google earth pictures of how close Lahore is to the Wagah border.

The voice rising, the music soaring in the mad race to gather TRPs. The anchor seemed to be speaking almost from a war zone where a bomb might detonate any moment such was his tone and manner. All he was trying to say was that Pakistan has admitted that the siege of Police School close to Lahore was done by Taliban and that a second strike in Pakistan (earlier in the month we heard about the Sri Lankan team being attacked) so soon meant that the Taliban had gained tremendous strength in Pakistan and could strike in India too.

What made me wonder was his panic striken voice as if this is an unthinkable thought. What’s there to panic about I ask you if the Taliban were to strike?

Is their terror different from what we keep suffering every other day? Can their bullets harm more than the ones shot by our own terrorists?

In India we don’t just have extremist Islamic terror we also have extremist Hindu terror. Whether it is their involvement in blasts (Malegaon) or enforced modesty on women (Mangalore) the Hindus are not behind the Muslim at all in being able to unleash horrors.

Pakistan has only one kind of terror to fight with …..we have Muslim & Hindu extremists. We also had Sikh till some time back. Right now we also happen to have the Maoists, the Salva Judum and the various separatist outfits in the north east. We have the Kashmiri fighters who though they no longer know what it is they fight for continue to do so since it’s one of the easiest career choices in the valley and while it lasts, pays well too.

We also have Varun Gandhi who can fight without an opponent. By the way he reminds me of that ad line for cycles “Rebel without a cause” when I was a kid it really appealed to me, now I merely find it foolish.

So tell me then why does the news that Taliban maybe 12 kilometers away from us need such theatrics….we have enough terror of our own. Infact I couldn’t help contemplating if the great warriors of the Hindu faith would like to go and station themselves at the country’s borders to protect it from Taliban attacks. After all the memory of them avenging the Ram temple by demolishing the Babri Masjid is still strong. Surely they will not want the Taliban to come in and do something which will outshine their achievement.

But then I remembered that the great Maratha Raj Thakerey had been completely missing in action while the action at the Gateway of India lasted. He had resurfaced only when it was all over and those non-marathis from UP, Bihar and the rest of the country had gone and saved the lives of Mumbaikars.

It does bring to mind another question....allow me to digress...its not okay for Hindu women to frequent pubs but is it okay for hindu sadhvis to be publicly embraced by men? I seem to remember such a picture in the aftermath of the Babri Masjid demolition and the person embracing was none other than the new loh purush of Indian politics.

So there you must admit we have nothing to be afraid of the Pakistani Taliban. We have enough of our own.

My Blessings

2009-03-12T17:09:00.000+05:30

I have been in a ranting mode so I thought let me count my blessings. It’s a self help exercise so kindly bear with me.

I always find some people who gladly share their time and company with me wherever I am
I have a loving partner who is not stuck up with ideas of what girls should do or don’t.
I have the naughtiest mom in the world
My doggie Crazy has the most soulful eyes in the world
My masi thinks I am a heroine so does my brother though he tries to keep it carefully hidden
My home is the center of my universe and I love returning to it
I have a job and am good at what I do
I have a blog correction two and some people actually find them worth following.
I have dreams that I want to fulfill and someone with me who shares them
I can find these ten points to write about….there would be so many who wont be able to.

Thank you God.

Trying to let go...

2009-03-06T10:58:00.003+05:30

Life has been tough for the past month or so.

Multiple problems at different fronts have left me groping for that extra ounce of strength and patience to carry on. At times the urge to cry uncontrollably is too much and only the thought of losing my sanity if I let circumstances get the better of me, stops me from doing it.

I have not been in the mood to write though each event could have been fodder enough for more than one post. Yet somehow the will to write was missing. Also the fact that the events involved many others who may not appreciate being discussed on my blog held me back.

I am back and using this small post as a bulwark against the emotions that still threaten to take over and am planning to come back next week with another post on things less dreary that can be shared in this forum.

I do note that in the time I have been away the numbers who ostensibly followed this blog have gone down, I do understand that in today’s world of instant gratification they would have expected instant follower-ship from me and since I was away they lost patience and left.

I don’t mean to crib about them, just wanted to thank the friends who have been around.
Thanks guys it means a lot to have a few friends in this big bad world.

Pines & Snow

2009-01-29T14:05:00.008+05:30

I have been writing about my trips on this blog regularly under the label footprints. So much so that part of the excitement of going on a trip now seems to be the recounting of it once back on the blog for friends.

The trip this time was no different, since right from the beginning I kept filing away details in my mind and clicking pictures all with the view that it would get space on the blog. However since my travel mate Mampi is already writing about the exact activities of the trip in great detail I am not going to repeat it. You can visit her blog for details. Let me therefore share with you some snippets and photographs.
It was Dalhousie that we went to this time. Famously nicknamed "dull & lousy" by the boisterous crowds, the place is a military cantonment and a quaint little town that was set up just 150 years ago.

We arrived there in high spirits, the thrill of having escaped the mundane hectic lives we normally lead giving all of us extra broad smiles. A slightly frantic hunt later we were able to locate our hotel Geetanjali, which sadly didn’t live up to the reputation of the other HP Tourism hotels I have been to.

We were welcomed by the Monkeys…..the many, many monkeys of Dalhousie were an alternate world in themselves and I spend quite a few uneasy moments initially since their jumping onto the tin roof of the hotel caused quite a din. I was afraid one of them would jump a little too hard, crash through the roof and land on me.

Thankfully that didn’t happen.

The reason for choosing Dalhousie was the hope to catch some snow….as in a snowfall. I had never seen one and really thought that at 31 not experiencing a snowfall is a very embarrassing fact which needed to be rectified before the next birthday.

However though Dalhousie seemed nicely cold, snow was no where in sight. I prayed hard to all the Gods to arrange for some so that I woulnt have to go back disappointed, there was the added pressure of family and friends mockery which would ensue since my SNOW plans had been circulated far and wide.

On the second day of our stay there we woke up to find a rainbow right outside, it was so close that I felt if I jumped I could catch it and perhaps swing on it. I tried to capture it in my camera but sadly it was so close that catching both ends was impossible.

We finally found snow on our way to Khajjiar. It started as little mounds of dirty white by the road side and in crevices on the mountain side. It slowly grew better and we eventually found places where there was enough snow for people to be able to make snow balls and have matches. We saw the crowds descending on the snow oohed and aahed and moved on for destination Khajjiar.

Khajjiar was a beautiful place though slightly sullied by the descending hordes who thought nothing of leaving plastic bottles and empty chips packets all over the place. We walked away from the crowds and did a parikrama. With sudden bursts of rain, the wind whistling amongst the tall pine trees and the lone horse roaming on the greens…it was as idyllic as it could get.
One look at the distant mountains and you could see that it was snowing there…and I prayed fervently for a little to fall on me as well.

The drizzle of rain threatened to become a downpour hastening our departure from Khajjiar…mentally we all made plans to be back again…such was the magic of that simple glade amongst the mountains.

We were talking, eating and generally looking around while Mahesh drove when the urge to play in the snow overtook us and we stopped on the wayside. By now I had reconciled myself to the fact that I will have to be happy with snow on the ground and snow from the sky will have to just wait.

Mahesh and Mampi walked ahead and started climbing up the snow….me and Parry were still on the roadside throwing snow balls at each other…when Mahesh suddenly said Pinku look up, I did and there it was…..my snow fall.

It lasted all of two minutes but God fulfilled my desire….this is why I keep saying My God Strongest.

Post the snow the road and trip was all downhill….since my high point had been achieved so let me not bore you with the sad hearts that descended the slopes the next day.

Instead let me tell you about the Dunch (what I call a lunch that suffices for dinner) we had at Haveli in Jullundhar. It’s a nice place that showcases the real Punjab and the food is finger licking….I am still grieving for the pindi chole we had to leave behind since Mahesh wouldn’t allow us to have it packed for later.

Mampi enlightened that hosts who treat at Haveli are known as good ones in Punjab. I agree with her view but would just like to add that she was anyways way up there in my list of favorite hosts/hostesses.
I know this will add to the numbers who wish to visit her but then she being the gracious and gregarious hostess she is will surely happily accommodate.

Learning’s at 31

2009-01-15T11:50:00.002+05:30

Life began as a multi-hued carnival of sight, sound, laughter and sometimes tears for a favorite doll lost or a toe hurt.

It grew into something very black & white as teenage approached. Everything was seen through the grave lenses of ideology that was grafted and then crafted from the many books, films, snatches of conversations and bits of life experiences one went through.

The twenties brought with them financial independence and the dawning of the fact that life was more than black& white. Also more importantly the fact that what was black to me was quite fair in the world’s view and what was pristine white to me was seen as dirty and abhor-able by the world.

Now standing inside the gateway of thirties having dealt with bereavement, public ignominy, loss and the breaking of dreams and aspirations I understand that life is neither black nor white nor is it multi-colored, its infact just a grey. A grey that turns, swirls and moves like the early morning fog. At times it breaks open and shows you a glimpse of what could be what should be and then it moves, comes back again to cover everything else and leaves you guessing about what lies ahead.

You step cautiously holding onto whatever comes in sight and thus life teaches you many things. Some of the lessons I have learnt I am mentioning below, will wait to hear from you guys what your life lessons have been.

Blood is thicker than water: In the final countdown it’s the support of your family that you can really count on everyone else deserts lovers, friends, and well-wishers. Having said that I will also say that I am lucky to have such a family, the news is too often filled with families which disown their own for flimsy excuses of pride and tradition.

Love all you want to love, don’t expect it to be returned: Loving someone is in our hand expecting reciprocation is not. Indeed it’s foolish to even have such expectations. If you get it you are very lucky. And one more thing even if you do get it don’t ever imagine it will be ‘your kind of love’ it will be an entirely different hue. For you own sanity you must accept it for what it is and not try to modify it.

Follow your own dreams they are really the only thing that are your own: if you really believe in something, go ahead and do it. But do ensure you have the courage and conviction to follow it till the very end. My dad used to say that sometimes it’s easier to seek forgiveness than permission. You life is your own; therefore choices of education, career, life partner and children must be made by you.

New Year Wish List

2008-12-31T17:10:00.001+05:30

This is my wishlist. Do share yours too!!!

Have a brilliant year ahead and may peace reign on earth!!!

Our Weekend: Filled with love and …..chaos??

2008-12-26T16:39:00.005+05:30

All this while we thought of ourselves as sorry people who didn’t have enough friends who cared for us enough to want to meet up. We just got to know how popular we are (and are still reeling under the effect of the revelation.)

Here, let me sketch the scenario for you:

Last Saturday we hosted a party for friends. We had about twenty five people come after inviting roughly thirty so we are counting it as a great turn out keeping in mind the God forsaken corner of the city we reside in.

It was supposed to be a barbeque party……the party did happen however the barbeque refused to light properly inspite of the fact (or was it because of) that nearly everyone present had a go at it.

Anyways thanks to helpful hands we managed to salvage the situation and everyone said they had a good time (but then do they ever say otherwise) apart from a few who came too late and departed too early. Here is a pic of the flowers they brought us. Aren't they pretty?

So net net we had a happy Saturday….followed by a Sunday of cleaning…followed by a week of eating the left overs :(

By the way, a darling friend clicked all the pics...and took them with her...and now she refuses to send us any...so i cant share any pics with you, apart from this one clicked the day after early morning, before we started cleaning up the terrace.

Now for this weekend…

The cleanliness freak in the family also called Mom is visiting today along with lazy bum Masi. They will be staying for two days.

A friend inspired by our non-burning barbeque has planned a party of her own on Saturday. We are of course invited...and also expected to reach first with the barbeque in tow.

A relative traveling with 15 other people has been unable to find accommodation in the city and is expected to drop in anytime between today and tomorrow.

Another out of town friend who missed the party last week is coming to the city tomorrow so she wants to meet us.

(this is what home will look like possibly or maybe you can check the Old Delhi Railway station at night to get the picture)

There didn’t I tell you that our weekend is filled with love and chaos?

Hat trick + 1 + 1

2008-12-17T14:35:00.004+05:30

It must be the season I keep getting awards. This one is from Indian Home maker and I think it says it all.....thanks IHM.

This is from Iya ......

This one from Mampi (and also Nimmy infact she gave it before Mampi I somehow missed receiving it.)

This is from Mithe...

I am honoured guys....thanks for remembering me on your blogs.

I feel guilty if I pass on the award to only a few. So all of you whose blog I frequent please know that these and more awards are coming your way from me.

And then wouldn't you all agree that a regular reader is the biggest award of all? Well thats what I try to be on your blogs.... so there :)

Goa for the Old

2008-12-15T14:10:00.006+05:30

My mom and her cousin and his wife just went on a trip to Bombay and Goa. (yes, Bombay thats how they think of it inspite of all the hype about Mumbai).

We joked that they are too old to enjoy those places and they are meant for the young and adventurous. The mocking continued till I saw the pictures. Then I stopped.

(Mom on the mini rail near elephanta Caves)

(Mom and Mammi on Ferry)

(Mom collecting sea shells on Juhu beach)

Mom seems to have had more fun than me :(

Am sharing some here for you guys...just so you know that age is completetly in the head and my mom refuses to step over 40 whatever it takes.

Am hoping she stays that way.

(Mom and Co. dancing away at Goa)

A question?

2008-12-03T11:40:00.004+05:30

Is this where it all started?

This murder of brother by brother?

This raping of the Motherland?

We were fooled then, are we going to continue doing so for ever?

Will we never learn any lessons?

(Please read the english text on the image to understand where I am coming from. Frankly I have'nt verified the authenticity of this statement but I can't help believing that this or something similar was planned to bring my golden country down to its knees. )

THE MUMBAI ATTACKS

2008-11-27T11:51:00.006+05:30

The Taj Heritage building has been destroyed. The landmark which was as much talked about as perhaps the Gateway of India, is badly burnt and it will take months perhaps more to recover its glory. The Taj management promises to rebuild it brick for brick.
In the meantime, can we ensure please that those bastards dont get to ever touch a single brick or life in this country again.

I am upset and I am crying. For my country, for my countrymen and for the sad state we have brought ourselves to.
My humble request is:
Please lets be strong for each other and reach out a hand to all those who need it. AND PLEASE lets remember that those terrorists when they fired, fired blindly killing everyone in the line of fire be they be sikh, muslim, hindu, buddhist or atheist.

Dont let anyone turn this into a debate about religion. Those guys who did this have none. Lets ensure the guilty are punished with the most exemplary punishment possible for this dastardly act and every such act that this country had to suffer.

THE TUESDAY ADDICTION

2008-11-25T16:57:00.004+05:30

Its Tuesday again…our day for catching a French film at the Alliance Francaise, Delhi.

Truth be told at times am not so enthusiastic about going. A list of chores to be handled beckons and I feel going homewards to tackle them or to just put up my feet somewhere and relax with a cup of coffee is a much better alternative.

But those feeling vanish within the first five minutes of the film and am all eyes (I can’t understand French so rely on the subtitles for following the film). Each film I have seen is etched in my mind and inspite of almost a year’s regular film watching no two films seem the same nor do the storylines borrow from each other.

Mention French films and what you hear are comments like these - ‘noir’, ‘sensual’, ‘too much skin show’ and ‘too arty’. And of course the snide side comments that ‘they are just trying to be oh-so-intellectual’ (this is said in regards to the audience).

It’s all so very true including the part about us trying to be intellectual (but then we are guilty of not being able to digest the mindless Hindi movies or the ‘America is great’ English ones that the multiplexes showcase). Yet there is so much more to it that just can’t quite be explained. Let me try though:

Can you imagine a full length film on two sisters and their differences? Les Soeurs Fachees is not over-dramatized, it doesn’t show one killing the other for lust or greed yet it shows how subtly through gestures and comments one sister tries to kill the innocence and joie de vivre of the other. It’s an amazing insight into sibling relationships and I came away wondering what my relation with my sister would have been like had she lived till this day. Flashes of our fights, quarrels, back biting and love all came back. It seemed like the film had opened up a Pandora’s Box of memories for me.

Another film about two twin sisters showed them living in their own enchanted world of music and dance. They aren’t rich yet they reflect the richness and innocence of an era gone by when it was possible for one to be happy and break into songs at the drop of a hat or the flutter of a scarf. The movie was one giant carnival in motion. And you were left with a feeling of happy contented childhood till you realized that the director had been traumatized by the world wars and his films were actually the medium he used to escape the harsh realities of his life.

Let me give you another example:

A bored young girl from a family that boasts pedigree and wealth married to a man who is a successful professional and a doting husband decides to check out a brothel and gets hooked to the high of being treated as a mere sex object. Her dalliance with the varied customers of the brothel brings her in contact with a dangerous young man who kills for pleasure. She allows him to think that she loves him and thus sparks of incidents that cause his own death as well as making her husband a wheelchair-bound mute patient dependent on her for his very life. Through Belle de Jour you sway between hating the woman for jeopardizing a lovely marriage and sympathizing with her as you see her grapple with the socially acceptable versus her innermost desires.

This film reminded me of Aastha - the Rekha, Om Puri and Navin Nischol starrer which showed Rekha succumbing to her greed for a more affluent life by falling in the trap of a scheming woman who guides her towards prostitution as a means to earn the quick money she so desired. However being a hindi movie it had to show a repentant Rekha realizing her mistake and also the very understandable vice of greed which motivated her. Where the French film scores is not being apologetic for the ‘different-from-the-norm’ sexual desires of the woman and it finishes the same way it had started - with the woman day dreaming about a sexual escapade.

A lot more films come to mind as I write this post… that gave glimpses into the life of the contemporary French man or woman. Others that showcased lives of the French speaking people across the world. And of course those that brought us close to those who have made France their home coming from far off Africa or Asia.

A film that spoke about the lives of two young people who are in love and wish to be married since they have just discovered that they are soon going to be parents was touchingly portrayed. The guy was an Arab muslim while the girl belonged to a very French jewish family. The apprehensions of both families and the quarrels the couple get into in trying to defend faiths and beliefs they themselves don’t really adhere to but feel the need to be loyal are beautifully sketched. The final resolution as both families come together to support and bless them was a tear wiping one for even the most hard hearted in the audience I believe.

So there I have narrated quite a few stories to you….and if a bit of our addiction rubs off on you I will only be glad to know.

Jashne Sardi

2008-11-11T11:58:00.001+05:30

the nip in the air,
the days growing short
the cuddles more urgent
the kisses more frequent

the fragrance of harshingar
the urges for a cup of coffee
the crawling into the other’s grooves
the slipping of a hand into the shirt

the open air dining in the chill
the hot kebabs and shawarmas
the happiness of being together
the return of memories pleasant

the appearance of the favourite razai
the early morning fog
the endless cups of steaming tea
the breathe which steams as it streams

Know what it means?

Winter is here!!!

Visiting Istanbul

2008-10-30T16:21:00.007+05:30

Late October, the chill just beginning to make itself felt, a gathering of people from all walks of life and the staging of an amazing piece (I use the word Piece for calling it a mere play would be to confine it to the rigidities one expects in the genre). It was called Mein Istanbul Hoon.

The occasion was the celebration of the 50 years of the National school of Drama and the topic chosen was momentous too – a glimpse of Istanbul past and present as reflected through the various books of Orhan Pamuk – the Nobel Laureate.

The stage put up on the lawns of the Indira Gandhi National Center for Arts had as backdrop the huge peepul trees and the slowly growing dark winter sky.

It began with a beautiful musical composition which instantly took us to the streets of Istanbul as if on a flying carpet. The young Pamuk and his angst at being misunderstood by the world at large, his mother’s high hopes for her son, whom she wants to make an architect are beautifully shown. The tinge of sadness is not lost in the refreshing tongue in cheek dialogues. The mother’s feelings of being trapped in a defunct society and her son being her only hope since her husband finds solace in the arms of another woman are so close to Indian realities, that for a moment one realizes that something’s are just so universal.
A huge amount of junk that Orhan collects from the streets and the Bosphorous are a direct link to the protagonist of the Black Book. This junk while potraying the hopelessness and uselessness of his life also symbolise the various things that have left a mark on his psyche and made him what he is, a complex mix of the traditional and the modern, European and Asian, regressive and progressive thoughts. A through and through romantic who finds it very hard to move on even when all around him is in ruins.

Orhan’s meeting with Kochu, a writer of repute whose passion is the city of Istanbul takes us into the next stage. Where Orhan time travels to take on roles from the past and Kochu intervenes at times inorder to make his twelfth book interesting. When rebuked by Orhan for fanning violent flames in the community, Kochu says he is just following the trend set by the current day Media.

The story of a young couple in love in the backdrop of medieval Istanbul and their strategies and counter strategies to ensure their lives together form the second part of the piece. The girl’s father, an established artist and the teacher of the young man (Kaala) finds out about the affair and banishes the man from the city for twelve years. He returns to find that his beloved is now the mother of two young children and her husband has been untraceable for the past four years. She is the most beautiful woman in the city and each man covets her including close family members who in the absence of her husband feel it their right to claim stake on her.

She has found refuge in her old father’s home and has till now with great difficulty kept the wolves at bay. The subdued flames of love rise again when the young man returns. The old teacher who now needs the support of his erstwhile student well realizes this and though he fumes internally, he is unable to send Kaala away again, for this very love for his daughter makes Kaala his most trusted ally in his most ambitious project.

A gang of fundamentalists have now taken control of the city and are inciting fury against al that they deem unislamic and the artists find their lives and profession at risk from these hoodlums. The Teacher must finish a great piece of art that the emperor has himself sanctioned and there is no one he can trust more with this at once blasphemous and path breaking project.

In a freak incident while the girl is out to meet her lover and plan with him the ways by which they may devise their union one of her many admirers kills her father. Returning home she finds him dead and realizes that without her father’s protective presence her very life would be at extreme risk.

The glimpses into Turkish society and the undercurrents that make it what it – a sangam of European and Asian thoughts, cultures and way of life were priceless. One such episode was that of the Kahwakhana, a typical part of Turkish life where men young and old spend their day over discussions ranging from the profane to the profound. The episode also highlighted the famed dogs of Istanbul which rove the street in packs and terrorize all.

The stage design, without curtains and a slowly revealing stage which as the drama progressed took on many hues was beautifully done. Hope my pictures reveal some of the awe I felt to you too.

The direction by Sri Mohan Maharishi was beautiful and the acting by everyone in the cast was something to be seen to be believed.

Thanks NSD, have never welcomed winter to Delhi in a better manner.

This is my 100th post and I don’t know what to write.

2008-10-29T11:46:00.004+05:30

I want it to be monumental. I want it to be different. I want it to be something I can come back to read after writing another 99 posts. I don’t trust myself to write something that good.

So I asked a few blogger friends to write down their perception of me and my blog. They were really sweet and inspite of their very busy schedules (what with Diwali close) they actually took out time and wrote a few words.
Here, I share it with you:

Phatichar: Pinku, one who leads the enchanted life. When I first started speaking to her a few months back, she seemed guarded. But that is only natural in this online world, isn’t it? Gradually that guard was dropped and pretty soon we got along like wild fire, common interests fuelling our conversations everyday – books, movies, food and a whole lot more. And then I went back and read all her posts. And after reading that, from a good online friend, she instantly transformed into a figure to respect. It was not just the writing; that is awesome anyways. But it was something after reading which, I felt …well, for want of better words, inadequate, in front of her. There’s much to learn about life from her. She has come a long way, and deserves every bit of happiness life has to offer her. Her guardian angel is doing a fine job I must say. Won’t want to lose your friendship, girl. You rock!

Stygian Sailor: Pinku-dom and the Republic of the Stygian Sailor are probably the opposite poles of Blogville. Optimism and peace are the national languages of Pinku-dom in stark contrast to cynicism and sarcasm which reign in the Sailor’s republic. So what’s the connection? Opposite poles attract. The amazing optimism portrayed in Pinku’s posts draw the Sailor to Pinku-dom. Having a million ideas is some thing, but having staunch faith in those ideas and pursuing them takes a lot more character. It is hard to come by these days. It isn’t every day that one leads an enchanted life.
Cheers to the hundred posts.

Mampi: My blogger mate Priyanka aka Pinku is a person who I can safely call genuine without having to eat my words later on with a lot of pickle and sauce. She is one of the few blogger mates that i have met in person and it was a pleasure meeting her. Her tolerance for my son, who was at his impossible best that day, will always go down in history in golden words. I have always liked to share a giggle or two the moment I come back from work because we are die-hard chatters. We share fun, sorrow, bickerings about work, and counting our blessings during these sessions.
Her creativity is inspiring. Her blog reflects an honest soul who is no super-heroine but who has her own take on all the issues facing a common person living in India. May her creed prosper !

Hemanth: I might not have known her for all that long but, in the few years that I have known her; she has been a great friend. It was her blog that started me off blogging and it was her support and encouragement that kept me going all this while. Thanks, for being there during all those time that I really needed you. Wish you, all the best and good luck!

Thank you so much guys for sparing time for me!!! I hope we remain friends forever.

If any of you would be kind enough to add a few words I will be really very grateful.

Progression

2008-10-21T17:47:00.005+05:30

Girl meets boy. Likes him for what he is, his smartness, his foolishness, his awkwardness, and his cuteness and promptly falls in love.

Boy meets girl. Likes her good looks, the way she carried herself, the perfectionist mind and attitude, her knowledge and even her pretensions at times, finds it all so very adorable and promptly falls in love.

Boy and girl profess undying devotion, love and tenderness.

Then they get married.

The guy’s smartness starts to rankle when the wisecracks get targeted at her.

The girl’s good looks are a matter which sees money drain into Beauty parlours.

The guy’s foolishness tastes dour when it means overlooking the obvious.

The girl’s poise is cause to lose repose.

The guy’s awkward comments aimed at her family or even friends are difficult to swallow

The perfectionist mind is now settled on dusting cobwebs

There are children to be look aftered, clothes to be darned, utensils to be washed and food going bad in the fridge.

The dream turns into a nightmare neither can escape.

Sadly most marriages turn out this way, cause people go in with their eyes closed, dreaming dreams of bliss. The truth is, a marriage especially a good one is a lot of hard work. Do get into it with long term commitment and the willingness to adjust, sacrifice and understand.

Am writing this for all those beautiful couples who are heading towards disaster across the country right now.

You think I am being pessimistic? Surveys report that 2 out of every 5 marriages in Mumbai are ending in divorce.

found the picture on google, somehow looked very appropriate especially with its connotation of the original sin :)

Who is She?

2008-10-15T18:18:00.003+05:30

She was a stunner, green eyes, great body and an exotic dress to boot. Anyone would give her a second glance even a third.

She was selling cowboy hats at the Chirag Dilli red light, wearing them all one on top of the other as she walked through the maze of cars.

Everyone from the autowallah to the bus passengers to the car drivers and their owners looked out to see her gliding past.

She made for a good shot for me while I waited for the red light to turn green.

And then we all went our ways forgetting her, forgetting her plight. She belongs to a tribe from Rajasthan that had to move from their ancestral dwellings in search of money and food. She is a bewildered person, who has been made poor and a destitute by the unthinking, uncaring attitude of the powers that be.

She is someone who has recently joined the ranks of the poor in Delhi.

How do we help? Buy one of her hats perhaps? Does that really solve the problem?

Today an initiative was on to talk about poverty through Blog Action Day. Mampi and IHM inspired me to join the effort, however though I registered the site didnt send the promised mail and my registration process couldn't be completed. I was disappointed but then I thought what the hell why should one mail stop me from doing a good deed and hence the post that you just read.
I don't have any solutions to this problem to offer so am only appealing for one thing we may be unable to pull someone out of poverty but lets not judge them as less human than us just because their clothes seem torn and faces streaked. They have all the rights too that the constitution gives us.

Change is here, Change is now

2008-10-13T14:15:00.010+05:30

Thanks everyone for the responses to the last post. From your comments I sense two things:

1) We are ourselves to blame for the relaxed attitude to law and order and even basic hygiene and good manners that we face in India.

2) A better enforcement would ensure more compliance

I have only one suggestion can we get to work on it right away? Who better to enforce any law than our own conscience?

I am listing here 5 things we could do to bring about a change.These are very small things and executable on an individual level, hence not dependent on anyone else but us. That should make it easy to achieve success isn’t it?

1. Garbage goes only into garbage bins – this includes no dropping of nutshells and empty bottles out of your vehicle in an attempt to keep it clean.

2. Using Mobiles necessitates knowing mobile etiquettes and FOLLOWING them.

3. Use minimum plastic – look at an option where you can carry an eco-friendly bag with you so that you can say no to those extra plastic bags while out shopping. Check online for some very interesting bags, even Big Bazaar stocks some very economical good looking ones.

4. Refuse to be served by children at roadside dhabbas, railway stations etc. These children need to study at this age. If we refuse to be served it may affect their jobs but it will also give them a chance to know that education is their right and a must for a better tomorrow. Don't just refuse explain why you are doing so too.

5. Promise yourself that for every foreign location you visit, you will also holiday at an Indian one. What do we lack? From snowcapped mountains, to golden beaches, to deserts, to jungles India offers something for everyone. AND while on holiday you will behave as impeccably as you would at a foreign locale.

(Psst incase you are wondering that picture is from Andamans)

I will be glad if you could add to the list through the comments section, I promise to keep editing this post and adding all new suggestions to the post.

Also a second request possible to do a similar post on your blog as well? This isn’t a tag but why not take it up and make it into one. Write back to me and I will link all such posts to this one.

Let’s make the change happen guys!

Edited on 14th Oct, to add comments from:
Pecos Blue says saving energy is important too and we should strive for it.

Quirky Indian suggests we:
(1) show courtesy to fellow motorists and pedestrians while driving; it'll really help getting us out of the Indian Traffic Nightmare.
(2) Car-pool as far as possible.

Edited on 15th Oct to add Nimmy's comment:

Use public trasnport as much as possible instead of having 4 cars for 3 members of a single family..Will make a great difference..

Edited on 16th October: Iya wrote about this on her blog, read it here.

Some Presidential Queries

2008-10-10T13:55:00.011+05:30

I received the below letter as a forwarded mail, it said that this is the speech that President Dr.A P J Abdul Kalam made. Whether that be true or not, I feel the issues raised and questions asked are immensely relevant today and each one of us needs to answer them. Spare ten minutes and read on, it may ensure a better tomorrow for our children.

Why is the media here so negative?
Why are we in India so embarrassed to recognize our own strengths, our achievements? We are such a great nation. We have so many amazing success stories but we refuse to acknowledge them. Why?
We are the first in milk production.
We are number one in Remote sensing satellites.
We are the second largest producer of wheat.
We are the second largest producer of rice.
Look at Dr. Sudarshan , he has transferred the tribal village into a self-sustaining, self-driving unit. There are millions of such achievements but our media is only obsessed in the bad news and failures and disasters. I was in Tel Aviv once and I was reading theIsraeli newspaper. It was the day after a lot of attacks and bombardments and deaths had taken place. The Hamas had struck. But the front page of the newspaper had the picture of a Jewish gentleman whoin five years had transformed his desert into an orchid and a granary.It was this inspiring picture that everyone woke up to. The gory details of killings, bombardments, deaths, were inside in the newspaper, buried among other news. In India we only read about death, sickness, terrorism, crime. Why are we so NEGATIVE?
Another question: Why are we, as a nation so obsessed with foreign things? We want foreign T.Vs, we want foreign shirts. We want foreign technology. Why this obsession with everything imported. Do we not realize that self-respect comes with self-reliance? I was in Hyderabad giving this lecture, when a 14 year old girl asked me for my autograph. I asked her what her goal in life is. She replied: I want to live in a developed India . For her, you and I will have to build this developed India . You must proclaim. India is not an under-developed nation; it is a highly developed nation.

Do you have10 minutes? Allow me to come back with a vengeance.

YOU say that our government is inefficient. YOU say that our laws are too old. YOU say that the municipality does not pick up the garbage. YOU say that the phones don't work, the railways are a joke, the airline is the worst in the world, mails never reach their destination. YOU say that our country has been fed to the dogs and is the absolute pits. YOU say, say and say. What do YOU do about it?
Take a person on his way to Singapore . Give him a name - YOURS. Give him a face - YOURS. YOU walk out of the airport and you are at yourInternational best. In Singapore you don't throw cigarette butts on the roads or eat in the stores.
YOU are as proud of their Underground links as they are. You pay $5(approx. Rs. 60) to drive through Orchard Road (equivalent of MahimCauseway or Pedder Road ) between 5 PM and 8 PM.
YOU come back to the parking lot to punch your parking ticket if you have over stayed in a restaurant or a shopping mall irrespective ofyour status identity.
In Singapore you don't say anything, DO YOU?
YOU wouldn't dare to eat in public during Ramadan, in Dubai . YOU would not dare to go out without your head covered in Jeddah.
YOU would not dare to buy an employee of the telephone exchange inLondon at 10 pounds (Rs.650) a month to, 'see to it that my STD andISD calls are billed to someone else.'YOU would not dare to speed beyond 55 mph (88 km/h) in Washington andthen tell the traffic cop, 'Jaanta hai main kaun hoon (Do you know whoI am?). I am so and so's son. Take your two bucks and get lost.'
YOU wouldn't chuck an empty coconut shell anywhere other than thegarbage pail on the beaches in Australia and New Zealand .
Why don't YOU spit Paan on the streets of Tokyo ? Why don't YOU use examination jockeys or buy fake certificates in Boston ???
We are still talking of the same YOU. YOU who can respect and conformto a foreign system in other countries but cannot in your own. You who will throw papers and cigarettes on the road the moment you touch Indian ground. If you can be an involved and appreciative citizen in an alien country, why cannot you be the same here in India ?
Once in an interview, the famous Ex-municipal commissioner of Bombay ,Mr. Tinaikar , had a point to make. 'Rich people's dogs are walked on the streets to leave their affluent droppings all over the place,' he said. 'And then the same people turn around to criticize and blame the authorities for inefficiency and dirty pavements. What do they expect the officers to do? Go down with a broom every time their dog feels the pressure in his bowels?
In America every dog owner has to clean up after his pet has done thejob. Same in Japan . Will the Indian citizen do that here?' He's right. We go to the polls to choose a government and after that forfeit all responsibility.
We sit back wanting to be pampered and expect the government to do everything for us whilst our contribution is totally negative. We expect the government to clean up but we are not going to stop chucking garbage all over the place nor are we going to stop to pick up a stray piece of paper and throw it in the bin. We expect the railways to provide clean bathrooms but we are not going to learn the proper use of bathrooms. We want Indian Airlines and Air India to provide the best of food and toiletries but we are not going to stop pilfering at the least opportunity.
This applies even to the staff who is known not to pass on the service to the public. When it comes to burning social issues like those related to women, dowry, girl child! and others, we make loud drawing room protestations and continue to do the reverse at home. Our excuse?'It's the whole system which has to change, how will it matter if I alone forego my sons' rights to a dowry.'

So who's going to change the system? What does a system consist of ? Very conveniently for us it consists of our neighbours, other households, other cities, other communities and the government. But definitely not me and YOU. When it comes to us actually making a positive contribution to the system we lock ourselves along with our families into a safe cocoon and look into the distance at countries far away and wait for a Mr.Clean to come along & work miracles for us with a majestic sweep of his hand or we leave the country and run away.
Like lazy cowards hounded by our fears we run to America to bask in their glory and praise their system. When New York becomes in secure we run to England . When England experiences unemployment, we take the next flight out to the Gulf. When the Gulf is war struck, we demand to be rescued and brought home by the Indian government. Everybody is out to abuse and rape the country. Nobody thinks of feeding the system.Our conscience is mortgaged to money.
Dear Indians,
Kennedy 's words to his fellow Americans to relate to Indians.....
'ASK WHAT WE CAN DO FOR INDIA
AND DO WHAT HAS TO BE DONE TO MAKE INDIA
WHAT AMERICA AND OTHER WESTERN COUNTRIES ARE TODAY'
Lets do what India needs from us.