The Blogonista

Fun Run

2010-03-06T09:41:00.003-06:00

Exciting news, readers! I am blogging to you live from Little Rock. Why am I in the state capitol? Well, I just finished running in the Little Rock 5K for Parks and Recreation. Yes, you read that correctly. I ran. For an entire 3.1 miles, I trucked along the streets (and occasional hills) of Little Rock. I am still surprised I came across the finish line in one piece. I mean, my legs are small, and my body is not so small. The odds were really against me. There were two things getting me through it: the challenge of finishing and an awesome playlist. I sang the entire time. I think it really motivated the people around me. Like, they ran faster in order to get away from my singing. It kept me going, though, so I don't mind too much.

As I finished I definitely teared up. People on the sidelines were cheering me along, and I just thought that was the sweetest thing. Even though I didn't die, which I thought was entirely possible at the 2 mile mark, I am feeling the burn. My lungs hurt, and my right leg might need to be amputated. The good news is that I didn't finish last! I came in 514th place out of 704 runners. I also had a personal best time, keeping pace at 14:50 minutes per mile. Thanks to everyone who supported this insane effort, especially Sorne and Vance!

Just when I thought my day couldn't get better, I had a celebrity sighting. I saw Bo Mattingly in our hotel! This is the second time I've run into the infamous sportscaster. Both times we've been in Little Rock. Maybe I should visit more often. Surely, he has an in with the love of my life, Bobby Petrino. Here's to having an awesome day, readers!

16 and Stupid

2010-03-03T21:24:00.003-06:00

Are you feeling down? Do you need to feel better about your self? You don't need a doctor or any special medication for that. Just grab your TV remote and change the channel to MTV. The shows on MTV are an automatic boost to your self esteem. I mean, I watch Jersey Shore just to prove to myself how civilized I am. It makes me think, Hey, things could be worse. You could be walking on around on a trashy beach, looking for a guy with a brain full of hair gel.

But if you want the real goods, make sure to catch an episode of 16 and Pregnant. Talk about a train wreck. The first time I watched the show, I thought it was sad. These high school girls, babies in their own right, are, well, having babies. But the truth is, these girls are dumb. They aren't dumb for getting pregnant, though I don't advocate that at their age. They aren't even dumb for letting MTV film them while they are 9 months pregnant or in labor, as the case may be. They are just dumb. Nonsensical. Are those babies stealing all of their brain cells?

For instance, Valerie (Episode 203) is with child at 15 years old. Matt, her baby daddy, told her that he wants to be single for a while. She walks away rather calmly. Personally, I would have punched him. She just let him conceive and leave. Dumb moment #1. Then, she tells her friend, "I just want to be like 'Yo, you're trippin'. I can't see myself falling in love with anyone who isn't my baby's dad." That's all you have to say, Valerie? Maybe you should consider telling him to trip on into a McDonald's and get himself a job at the fryer because that baby isn't free. Dumb moment #2. The kicker in this whole situation: the baby's name. Nevaeh. Take a look at that backwards. Yes, that does say heaven. At least that baby is going to have some clever spelling genes. Dumb moment #3. I've only watched the first 4 minutes.

I suppose I should be thankful that I have thoughts like, A steady growth of money supply is more significant than fiscal policy on inflation and employment, rather than Valerie's most recent gem, "As I get more and more pregnant, I keep thinking that Matt will come back."

Admitting There's a Problem

2010-03-01T18:40:00.004-06:00

Hi, my name is Amanda, and I am a binge studier. It's a sickness to be sure. I have an exam over 13 chapters on Wednesday. Total finished to date = 2 chapters. Hours to finish one chapter = 2 hours. Therefore, I need to be alert and coherent for 22 hours between now and Wednesday morning in order to accomplish the unthinkable task of getting any grade above a D. Why do I punish myself?

This is actually the second time (of two) that I have binge studied this semester. Clearly, it is becoming a dangerous habit. The first time, I swore I wouldn't do it again (Isn't that what they all say?), but then my first taste of success came when I miraculously set the curve on the first exam. Well, that was easy, I thought, though I didn't exactly want to do it again. I tried to resist the urge, but then the Olympics came to town. Figure skating > Studying. Fact. Anyway, so here I am trying to cram 13 chapters of mundane information about commercial regulations, economics and cost accounting in my brain, only to regurgitate it on Wednesday. I need an intervention. I'm sure Promises Malibu has a rehab center for binge studiers somewhere between the one for Farmville addicts and the one for shopaholics.

Despite anxiety over the test, I am happy March is here. I'm 75% done with the MAcc program. For the record, I'm 100% ready to be done with the MAcc program.

P.S. - In an effort to waste more time, I gave the blog its first face lift. Enjoy!

I Notebooked Him

2010-02-22T13:01:00.005-06:00

Hands down, The Notebook is the world's greatest chick flick. It has everything you could want in girly movie: hot leading man, lovable leading lady, and a story line that requires more than one box of Kleenex. This is probably why it hasn't earned much favor with the male population. I can't quite figure out why guys don't like it. Maybe it's that they can't hear the last half of the movie because the girls with whom they are watching are sobbing loudly. Maybe it's the lack of guns, tatoos and Angelina Jolie. Either way, you won't find many men who rank it among their favorites.

Getting a guy hooked on The Notebook is a thing of mythical fame, so much so that the art now has its own verb. To be "Notebooked" is to get a guy so into the movie that he actually wants to watch it, possibly over and over again. They even make t-shirts about this feat. Well, I've done it.

This weekend, I was working on my research project when I saw The Notebook was on TV. Of course, I had to watch it. Mason, my nine year-old cousin, walked in the room. I thought he was going to ask me if he could play his video games on the TV on which I was enjoying the movie. To my surprise, he just sat down and started watching. Later, when Sorne asked him to do something, he said, "But, mom, I'm watching The Notebook." My heart melted. Then, Isaac, his four year-old brother, came in the room. When Sorne asked him to do something, he said, "I'm trying to watch The Notebook." Awwww! I've done the dirty work. Ladies (under 10 years of age), I've Notebooked them for you. Now, if I could only do this for the 25+ crowd.

Holly Hobby

2010-02-11T21:25:00.005-06:00

I am lazy with many things. I procrastinate when I should be writing papers and studying for tests. I take my shoes off when I walk into my room and don't put them up immediately. I wait too long to wash clothes. However, there is one time I don't do lazy: arts and crafts. Whether I am painting a cork board for my jewelry or creating a pen holder from ribbon and glitter, I can't get crafty enough. This time, instead of doing the oodles of reading I have due, I handmade valentine cards. Sure, anyone could just go to Walmart or Target and get some premade, generic cards, but I am not anyone. I love scrapbook paper and hot glue, so I headed to Hobby Lobby last week to get supplies for valentines.

I was planning on taking them to my class, but something came up and it was cancelled. So, I just gave them to my sister for her class party. No other second-grader has cards this awesome!

The (Awkward) Situation

2010-01-31T11:57:00.004-06:00

Try as I might, I cannot avoid awkward situations. They follow me around like a new puppy. I've been in so many awkward situations, I have them categorized. There's the "Hit and Run," which happens when you awkwardly run into an ex or person who wigged out on you in college, and therefore, you can't muster full sentences because you don't know what to say in lieu of, "You're crazy. Bye." Then, there's the "Awkward Turtle," which occurs when you see/hear something awkward, like the time I laughed out loud after hearing my professor belch in the middle of a lecture. Finally, there's "Stranger Danger." This is the awkwardness I experience most often, and by my accounts, it is the worst. It happens when people you don't know share inappropriate details about their lives with you. This is a story of one recent episode.

Last week, I ventured to Walmart. I usually try to avoid this trip by going to Target, but I was closer to the former. Since NWA was on the eve of Ice Storm 2010, people were packing up the essentials. There were carts full of flashlights, batteries and beer. I was there for makeup remover. Anyway, I get in an express line, thinking that I could be in and out in no time. Ha! As I'm standing there, I notice the lady in front of me has not obeyed the "20 items or less" rule. I thought about switching lanes, but they were all full, so I waited. As the checker is bagging groceries and scanning coupons, the lady in line turns to me. Stranger Danger.

Let me characterize her for you: 60 years old, side ponytail, white scrunchie, carnation pink sweatsuit, pocket full of coupons. She was a mess. So when she turns to me, what does she say? "I was voted the best waitress in Arkansas for three years in a row." Awkward. What do you even say to that? Nothing. I couldn't think of anything. I politely smiled and nodded. She didn't get the hint that I didn't care, so she proceeded. "I got hit by a drunk driver." O-M-G. Seriously? I politely grimaced. She wasn't getting much out of me. This must have dissuaded her because she turned around, collected her bags and walked out of the store.

I wasn't trying to be rude. I just don't understand the urge to share your life story with someone you don't know. It's awkward.

P.S. Fist pump to anyone who understands why Awkward is in parentheses in the middle of The Situation in the title of the post. GTL.

Enough with the Pen, Pal

2010-01-21T14:46:00.003-06:00

I am officially two weeks into the second, and final, semester of the MAcc program. I am officially two weeks behind on reading for class. I wish I could find the motivation to crack my 1,000-page auditing book, but I'm coming up short. However, I have found the time to check my law school application status 27 times an hour. Still no news, so keep your fingers crossed.

Classes are going smoothly this semester. I was late for the first time (this semester) this week. There's nothing like strolling into a room full of people 15 minutes after the start of class. The good thing is, people kind of expect it from me. When I walked in, I could hear one guy say, "Well, look who's here," while another was tapping the face of his watch. Luckily, my professor loves me (because who doesn't, right?), so she didn't say anything.

I have a couple of night classes this semester, and I must say that I really enjoy them. I think it's because my body thinks the day starts at 10 am and ends at 2 am. Anyway, I had one of them last night. It's in a computer lab, so the college has to have a lab attendant present in case something malfunction. Now, this lab attendant is not some IT professional. It's a 19 year-old kid who watches Lost re-runs on his computer. During the middle of class, all I could focus on was a clicking noise. It was loud and distracting, and I was determined to find the source. So, I'm looking around, and I see my friend Lindsay mouthing "It's not me. It's not me." Behind her I see it... the computer lab kid has a pen, and he is clicking it!

What is my immediate reaction? I start pseudo-silently laughing. And everyone knows that when I start laughing, I have a hard time stopping. So, I'm laughing because this kid is incessantly clicking his pen while we're having class while he's watching TV. He is oblivious. Lindsay is scared people think it's her. No one is paying attention to the professor because the clicking noise has consumed our attention. The guy sitting next to me is trying to figure out if the clicking corresponds to Morse code. There was a quiet chaos about the room, and I could not stop laughing.

Feeling Gilty

2010-01-15T21:27:00.007-06:00

I am a self-admitted shopaholic. However, on a graduate student's salary, it's hard to keep myself in the newest trends and remain fiscally fit. That is, until I discovered Gilt. It's an amazing online sample sale. Every day, new sales start, but the catch is the sales only last for 36 hours. Gilt has amazing brands like DVF, Michael Kors, and American Apparel at 70% off the retail price! There are also sites for Gilt Men, Gilt Kids, and Gilt Home.

You're probably asking yourself, "What's the catch?" Well, you have to be invited to shop. Lucky for you, I have access to your coveted invite. Just follow this link: http://www.gilt.com/invite/amandadawnwyatt to splurge on yourself... or me!

'010

2010-01-07T23:35:00.004-06:00

Happy 2010! It's officially the seventh day of the year, and I am just getting around to saying that to my avid readers. Because I have been relatively lazy for the past seven days, I have little news to report. I made a sporadic trip to Memphis for the Liberty Bowl, ditching other plans in favor of standing outside with 60,000 Razorback fans. I swore I wouldn't go, but my friends know my backbone is rather weak. I think I my body went hypothermic at one point. I told everyone I was going to walk back to my car if the game went into overtime because I wanted to feel the warmth of my car heater. No one would let me leave. Apparently, Memphis is not the type of town a girl of my naiveté should walk around alone. So, I remained huddled in a ball until the end. Next time I will remember: Warm clothes > Cute clothes.

I just watched the BCS National Championship game. I refuse to acknowledge it as anything other than an institution of the BCS, which is not indicative of a real national champion, but we'll save that tirade for another time. I was rooting for Bama, which is such an odd feeling. Anyway, I couldn't help but notice that neither team has an outstanding cheer, like, say, "Woo Pig Sooie." Just wait, Phoenix. You will be the home of the hog call next year. Bobby and I have big plans, and since Mallet won't be going to any professional leagues after his poor display in Memphis, he'll be there, too.

Another year, another laundry list of resolutions. I usually don't make any, and I won't be breaking that streak this year. Sure, there are things that I want to do, but there isn't anything I am resolved to do. I'm like the Scrooge of new year's resolutions. If I decide to do something, I just do it. Clearly, Nike should hire me. It's remarkably liberating to be free of an annual bucket list.

Can Buy Me Love

2009-12-29T22:21:00.005-06:00

Where was I when this was going on? A millionaire looking for mate! Sign me up. And who out there thinks those two met by chance? She's a smart tart. She definitely followed him to the beach with a dog she bought for the purposes of pretending to bump into him. She's my hero.

Please watch the awkwardness occurring about 30 seconds into the film. He's picturing her. She's picturing George Clooney.

T.M.I.

2009-12-17T23:16:00.005-06:00

Since I am home for Christmas break and have nothing to do (except for finishing those pesky law school apps), I decided to start going to Mercy Fitness during the day. They have cardio theater, so I figure why not work out and watch TV at the same time. I've heard the gym is a great place to meet guys, but from what I can tell, it's a great place to meet the over-60 crowd. Then, again, that just might be my crowd...

Anyway, the old people are an interesting bunch. An older woman next to me started her treadmill up pretty fast. I was silently praying that she didn't fall off because I am just not good in emergency situations. My "too much information" moment came yesterday while I was using the hip abduction machine (yeah, I didn't know what that was either). Two women, born sometime before FDR left office, were lifting weights. One of them was extremely tiny. The other one was quite muscular. From her U.S. Marines t-shirt, I gathered she had run a few obstacle courses in her day. Probably a few that day. Anyway, I will play back their conversation for you. It was quite disturbing.

Tiny: I've been learning this new oblique exercise in the morning class.

Marine: Oh yeah? I am working out with this bar to get a butt. I am going to get a butt if it kills me.

Tiny: I know what you mean. And it doesn't help that they make the pants all low-rise these days.

Marine: Oh, I like the low-rise. I have a belly ring, and I like to show it off.

I think I just vommed in my mouth a little. This women is somewhere north of 70 years old and she wants to show off her belly button ring? It's not even that she was out-of-shape; it's just that she was... old. I've always expounded the motto: You're only as old as you are at heart. But, lady, surely your heart isn't a 16 year old floozie.

We'll Make It, I Swear

2009-12-14T22:12:00.004-06:00

If I lived the days of my life by theme songs, today's would be "Livin' on a Prayer." I am especially referring part where Jon belts out, "Ohhh, we're halfway there..." because today marks the end of the beginning of the MAcc program. Finals week didn't kill me, and I didn't kill anyone. I chalk that up to a success. I haven't received news on all of my grades yet, but I did get one unexpected A. I bought some karma today by donating a book at Barnes and Noble to something for small children. Hopefully that will secure me some more good news.

As I'm sure you've realized, I have been a bad blogger lately. Now that I am on break, I plan to update a lot more!

Lady Luck

2009-11-20T23:40:00.006-06:00

Happy November! What? Am I little late on that one? Everyday I look at my Bookmark Bar and see the link for my blog. Unfortunately, I haven't really had time to post anything lately. Well, world, I'm back! That is, I'm back until December. Finals start then, and I will be way too busy for this whole blogging thing. So lame, I know.

I bought my first lottery ticket today. I didn't stop at the gas station to specifically buy a lottery ticket, but I was already there, so I thought it was a good idea to pick one up. And I know that I am not addicted to gambling because I had $3, but I only spent $1 on a lottery ticket. So, I bebop up to the counter and merrily say to the attendant, "I would like to buy a lottery ticket!" She says, "Well, are you 18?" Am I what? I couldn't decide if I should be mad that she thinks I look as old as Miley Cyrus or happy that when I am 60, I'll only look 56. I said to her, "Actually, I'm 22." After giving my license the twice-over, she sold me the winning ticket. They haven't actually announced the numbers yet, but I can feel the magic.

I am so excited that it's almost Thanksgiving. Not only am I super excited for the food, but it also means that I am that much closer to being halfway done with my Masters degree! May could not come soon enough. Seriously, May, come on.

Hot Air and a Plastic Chair

2009-10-30T14:19:00.004-05:00

I am blogging to you live from a lawn chair at Hawg Wash. Yes, I am at a laundromat. For the first time since my sophomore year in college, I am using washing machines and dryers that have been used by someone other than me or someone in my family. I must say that this is an interesting place. The attendant keeps glaring at me. I can't possibly be the most shifty person they've had in here. For heaven's sake, I'm using a Mac and reading an Advanced Financial Accounting textbook. I am practically a square around these parts.

So far, I have spent $10 on washing three loads and drying one. That is more expensive than I would expect out of a place with wood panelled walls, but I guess people will pay a high price for clean clothes. On the plus side, this is an excellent place to people watch. The couple next to me has a lot of camouflage items, and the old lady on the other side pulled many pairs of elastic-waisted pants from her dryer.

For the record, I am here because the dryer at the house is out, and I haven't done laundry in two weeks. Good thing my clothing collection has become quite large, or I would not have made it so long.

And We All Fall Down

2009-10-29T18:12:00.002-05:00

On many occasions, I have been informed that I have some dangerous dance moves. Dangerously cool? Yeah, I like to think so, but usually these naysayers usually follow up with, "You should stop. You are going to hurt yourself." Psh. I typically buck off these remarks as jealousy at my awesome skills. Today, however, I might have just proved all of those people right.

I blame Jay-Z (Mimi, he is a rap mogul). He recently released a rather catchy diddy called "Empire State of Mind." It has been in my head all day, and it inspires some wicked dancing. Anyway, I was singing it as I was headed downstairs this afternoon. I decided to bust a move on the top stair, but I mainly just busted my butt. You see, the dancing and the socks and the carpet were not a good combination. I went from backin' it up to back on the ground in two seconds. I slipped and saw my feet fly over my head. I landed on my back and slid all the way down the staircase. Ashley came out of the bedroom shouting, "Who should I call? Are you alive?" For the record, I think my answer was "AHHHHH!"

My entire backside will be bruised for a while, but I could not help but laugh. I cannot count the many times that I have fallen down in my life (That time on a busy street in NYC, that time in front of Darian Townes, that time on a glass bottle), but cascading down a flight of stairs has been the least graceful of them all. But, I picked myself up and went on. It's like my friend Lady Gaga says, "Just dance! Gonna be okay!"

The Girls are Back in Town

2009-10-28T23:22:00.003-05:00

I know you have all been sitting on pins and needles waiting for another post. Ashley reminded me that it has been quite a while since my last post, so I thought I would end your waiting game. Ashley has been in town all week, so we have just been bebopping around NWA. It has been a blast to have her back! I can't think of why I ever let her marry Ben and move away to Dallas.

In other news, I have been too busy to breathe this semester, thus the lack of updates. And do you know what is annoying when you are really busy? People who think they are really busy. I know people who incessantly drone on about their busy lives, but these people never offer any proof that they actually are busy. If you have time to troll Facebook and Twitter all day, you are not busy. You are annoying. I think these people should get busy doing the 100 billion hours of work that I need to get done. Obviously, I have nothing against mindless activities. I watch my fair share of Cougar Town, but I don't pretend to be busy for the sake of self importance. With that, I think I will put my soapbox away now.

Teacher, Leave The Kids Alone

2009-10-12T16:50:00.002-05:00

Do you remember junior high? You were awkward. You were small. You were annoying. Yes, you were. And they put me in charge of 40 of you today. Can you imagine? Me in charge of 40 kids for 2 whole hours? Luckily, I survived and came away with an interesting story or two.

So, I get to the junior high a little late (Is anyone surprised?), and I am scrambling to get 10 pounds of material for the students out of my car. Two important facts come into play here: (1)It's raining and (2) I'm in heels. I finally get all of their coloring books (or something like that) out of my backseat and bee-line to the building. Obviously, I get a little wet in the process because I only have two arms and needed them both to carry the material, so I am sans umbrella. I check in at the office and get directions from the secretary (Have they always looked like that?). Basically, they went something like this: "Go out the door. Head straight, and you will come to a fork in the hall. Don't take either direction. Also, don't follow the signs. We use them to confuse the children. Next, follow the labyrinth to the dark corridor. Your destination is on the right." What? I'll just try to do this myself.

When I get to the classroom, I find a nice lady waiting for me. She looks like a cheerleading coach. Later I discover that she is the cheerleading coach. I have uncanny abilities. She introduces me as Miss Wyatt. It was odd. They kept saying "yes, ma'am" which wouldn't be so bad if I were 50. During the lesson, they participated more than I anticipated. They have dreams of being doctors, day care workers, and hotel clerks (I know, right?). I thought better of mentioning that sometimes your dreams don't always come true and sometimes the market is crap and sometimes investment banks hire idiots... I am just not the dream-crushing type.

Overall, I really enjoyed the gig. Some kids were quiet. Some kids wouldn't shut-up. Some kids were gossiping about boys. Some kids paid no attention to me. One girl complimented me on my dress (brownie points!). It was fun to help educate them, and I am excited for next week. But I did realize something important: you couldn't pay me to be in their shoes. Mainly because they weren't heels.

Who Wants to Win a Nobel Prize?

2009-10-05T12:30:00.003-05:00

The winners of the Nobel Peace Prize were announced today. When I was little, I thought the Nobel Prize carried immense prestige and millions of dollars in prize money. I was only right about the first thing. Millions? Try just one. And you have to share it. Maybe that's where the "Peace" part comes in. They don't want people fighting over the paltry sum of winnings.

Clearly, a million dollars is nothing to balk at. But why spend your life researching telomeres and telomerase? You could win that much on Who Wants to be a Millionaire? Surely people who win the Nobel Prize outsmart that rascally banker on Deal or No Deal. Then again, game show winner doesn't look quite as good on the resume as Nobel Prize winner.

The Climb

2009-09-28T22:17:00.008-05:00

Just when you thought Miley Cyrus made the most useless reference to climbing, something beat her to the punch. While I was perusing the government's online classifieds for a job, I came across this position:

Tree climbers make more money than I do, and I am pretty sure that four year-olds can do it. Say hello to your tax dollars, America. I'm amazed that people deny a need for more fiscal conservatism. If they can't find a decent tree climber, I don't think they can find a decent health care provider.

Obama's "Swift" Kick

2009-09-16T10:02:00.005-05:00

Just when you thought everyone had weighed-in on the Kanye West/Taylor Swift battle, another opinion surfaces. President Obama has said some very eloquent things over the years, but this may be his most profound statement to-date.

First, Kanye insults George W. Bush. Now, he ticks-off Barack Obama. I hope he never needs a presidential pardon.

Would You Like Crack With That?

2009-09-15T23:25:00.004-05:00

Do not go to Hardee's and order the $6 Meal Deal. (Should I really have to tell anyone no to go to Hardee's?)

This is entrepreneurship at work. The man has two jobs, so why not combine them? More time to hang out in his trailer, watching wrestling and King of the Hill. And how did "$6 Meal" get to be the password for "slip crack into my hamburger" anyway? I can just imagine a frugal, old man ordering a complete a burger and fries for six bucks, only to find drugs between the onions and lettuce. If the fat and grease weren't enough to kill him, the meth would do the trick.

Overheard in Fayetteville

2009-09-15T20:12:00.003-05:00

I have decided to introduce a periodic column modeled after Overheard in NYC. Let's face it: I hear some weird things while I'm bebopping around town.

Restaurant patron #1: You know how people all over the world look different, like Chinese, African, whatever?

Restaurant patron #2: Yeah, but think about it. No matter where you go. The chickens all look the same. Have you ever thought about that?

Restaurant patron #1: No. I wonder if they all speak the same language.

College Ave

Guy in elevator: I don't think anyone really hates Texas.

Harmon Avenue parking deck

Woman at boutique: This is a cute shirt. I could use it for my bird.

E. Mission Blvd

Pants on Fire

2009-09-09T22:16:00.008-05:00

I'm sorry, Representative Wilson, what was that you said?

He lies? I believe that has been requirement of the job since 1960. The South Carolina electorate sure knows how to pick 'em.

And apparently Arkansas wants undo the pick of Blanche Lincoln. A new website allows you to sign up to fire Blanche and gives ten reasons to elect someone else. My favorite is #9 because there is a photo of Joe Biden tickling her. Also, ten Republicans, two Green partiers, and one Independent have entered the senate race in Arkansas. Oh, and another Democrat, but why trade one tyrant for another? My two favorite names on the list: Tom Cotton, who graduated from Harvard Law and served his country in the Middle East, and Chris Bequette, who played football for the Razorbacks and was featured in People magazine for a quicky marriage to a former ice-skater. What is more "of the people, by the people and for the people" than a magazine called People?

Any Given Saturday

2009-09-07T18:49:00.004-05:00

You know seasons are changing when the weather cools, the leaves change, and the pigskin flies. (Unless you are on Houston Nutt's team, in which case, it just gets handed-off.) Some might find a discussion of football a little odd on a pink and green glittery blog, but my loyal readers know I have an obsession with college sports/coaches, and it's with great excitement I editorialize opening weekend.

Woo Pig Sooie: Both Bobby Petrino and his Razorbacks looked good in the season opener against Missouri State. We scored points. We broke records. The real news? Clint Stoerner is back on the wagon, and while his speech isn't slurred, it leaves much to be desired in a sideline announcer. Was it just me or could everyone else hear "Put Me In Coach" playing in his head during the interviews with Bobby Petrino?

Choklahoma: Another year, another BCS championship gone-by for the Sooners. Heisman Trophy winners have lived up to less than the award would suggest, and Sam Bradford didn't disappoint. If Bob Stoops had a nickel for every second place season, well, never mind, OU pays much more than a nickel for those.

Blue-Man Group: Greg Paulus went from Blue Devil to Orangeman in his Syracuse debut on Saturday. With his basketball eligibility time up, Paulus decided to transfer to a [slightly] better college football program, instead of joining a much worse NFL program, the Green Bay Packers. While I liked him much better in royal blue, he could post some important W's for 'Cuse, except, of course, against Tubby Smith.

Shotty Toddy: If you watched the Ole Miss game, you might think ESPN thinks Houston Nutt is the second coming. They repeatedly announced him as "three-time SEC Coach of the Year, Houston Nutt," never "that guy who ruined a perfectly good season at Arkansas." Apparently, Jevan Snead has already won the Heisman, and Ole Miss is playing in the national championship game. If that happens, I propose we change the name from BCS to BS Championship.

The OS-Who?: Jim Tressel has been lobbying for a number one ranking for Ohio State since they narrowly beat Navy two days ago. As the showdown against USC looms, he will be denouncing Florida's 59-point margin as a fluke. But his four-point win? Well, that's the stuff BCS champions are made of. His cute sweater vests and wire-rimmed glasses may be good to look at, but his incessant whining is nothing to listen to.

Horns Down: Like any good sports writer, I cannot forget to mention the Longhorns. For this, I revert to a church marquee displayed in Fayetteville before the 1969 game: "Football is only a game. Spiritual things are eternal. Nevertheless, beat Texas."

In the South and for all lovers of college football, this time of year is represented by two letters: W and L. It's like John Heisman once said, "Gentlemen, it is better to have died a small boy than to fumble this football."

Slumber Party

2009-09-05T12:00:00.004-05:00

Sleeping Beauty had a really good thing going. She got at least eight hours of sleep out of that gig. That is, until someone so rudely woke her up. Granted, it was a handsome prince, not the Marimba tune on her iPhone, but he could potentially be just as annoying if she got as much sleep as me.

While I was not under the illusion that this graduate program would be easy, I vastly underestimated the time I would need to spend working on everything. As an accounting major, I think I should do the weekly math for you: 15 hours in class, 15 hours as a graduate assistant, 30 hours studying for class, 30 hours taking LSAT prep tests, 14 hours getting ready, 5 hours getting to class, 10 hours in group meetings, 10 hours have something resembling a social life, and 39 hours sleeping.

You might be thinking that 39 hours of sleep is more time than I spend doing anything else, but that is only about 5.5 hours per night. I have seen 2:30 am more than once this week and not from a view on Dickson Street. While every girl imagines her like as a fairy tale, I assume it's more for the stud than the slumber. At this point, I covet the latter.