TOTALLY FRANK

Back just to say .........

2008-08-13T16:16:00.003Z

RIP Nazia Hassan

(Passed away 8 years ago today)

Miss ya.

XXX

(Above pic taken from www.socialpages.com.pk)

Rugby World Cup 2007

2007-10-20T21:02:00.000Z

Before this world cup, I had no interest in Rugby whatsoever. I didn’t care who won & who lost.

Didn’t know who the England players and what their names were. But I must say, I like many others, have joined the bandwagon and have been caught up in the euphoria....... But that could also been down to checking out some of the hunky looking players – especially the Italians and Argentines! Phwaarrr!

I watched all the matches that England played and was extremely glad when they reached the finals.

Unfortunately it didn’t go our way. We lost to a great team, South Africa – less than half an hour ago.

Well done guys though. I will continue watching Rugby BUT only when England are playing. I still don't get any of the rules but I will cheer you guys on .... and besides, you did better than the England football team .........

Back from Rehab :)

2007-09-22T17:53:00.000Z

Hey folks, I’ve been a way for a while .... Decided today was the day to return to blogging because believe it or not, I’ve actually missed it!

Anyways, as mentioned, I did take a ‘lil break from the blogging world but I’m back to stay .... hopefully.

Not much has happened since my last post ..... Incidentally, where the frigging hell have my pictures of Nazia Hassan disappeared to? They were pretty good .....

Ramzan is going well. Each year we all wonder how the heck we will manage to fast throughout a long busy day, but each year we find, as usual it does not matter, it makes no difference, and we get used to it pretty quickly and thankfully make us into better individuals. We’re already into the second week. It will be over in no time.

Make the most of this amazing month.

Anways, I can’t ramble on today. Iftari is in about 20mins, so I’ve gotta go .... but inshallah I will return as soon as so that I can visit my usual blog haunts, catch up and leave some comments.

Until then ......

x

Nazia Hassan [April 3rd 1965 – August 13th 2000]

2007-08-13T00:04:00.000Z

.... “ App jaisa koi meri zindagi mei aai, to baat bun ja “ The song translates loosely into English as ‘If someone like you comes into my life, it would feel wonderful.’ Well Nazia, you came into our lives and our hearts, and it felt wonderful. We miss you" ....

Above abstract taken from http://www.jazbah.org/naziah1.php

Think the following taken from http://launch.groups.yahoo.com/group/RememberingNaziaHassan sums up exactly how I feel. No need to make any amendments.

.... "She lived a very short time and sang for even less. Yet Nazia Hassan managed to create a unique place for herself both in the hearts of her audience and in the annals of popular music in the subcontinent. At the age when most people set out to make their mark in life, Nazia had already presided over a decade of glory. And it was really all over by the time she turned 25. Much to the shock of those who dismissed her as a musical non-talent, Nazia Hassan is mourned today with a vengeance that is far greater than the music she made. The reason is simple: Nazia Hassan had a quality that went beyond talent. She was a star in the true sense of the overused and misunderstood word. It was not so much the music that cast its spell on an eager subcontinent, but the dream that she encapsulated in her person.

Pakistan had created an international star who had not been schooled in any tradition that could lay claim to a problematic South Asian inclusivity. The artistic influences were safely Western and all of India was enthralled by the sound of a Pakistani voice" ....

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Nazia Hassan is also known as the South Asian Queen of pop and quite rightly so. Only 15 years old when she topped the charts and became an overnight superstar when she song “Aap Jaisa Koi” in 1980 [see previous post of why my parents decided to call me what they did].

Nazia was truly gifted with a unique and incredible nasal sounding voice which mesmerized many. Throughout her music career she would often say that “music was only a hobby” and that she wanted to “concentrate on her legal studies” .... Imagine the impact on the music world if she DID concentrate on her music and her singing .... and took it seriously!

Soon after her first song, she began releasing albums along with her brother, Zoheb Hassan and took over the pop world. Many say that they were the first pop group who paved the way for others to follow – I tend to agree.

Nazia and Zoheb became superstars not only in Pakistan but also neighboring India as well as other parts of the world. They were in demand - They were on TV shows, graced the covers of magazine’s and were constantly on the radio. The siblings loved what they did and the fans simply wanted more!

In 1991, semi-retired from the music world, Nazia became active in her social work and later went on to work for the UN in New York – this is what she liked doing best. She also become more involved in many charities and founded an organisation called BAN [Battle Against Narcotics] in Karachi and dedicate the album ‘Camera Camera’ to BAN to help create awareness.

In her personal life, Nazia married and had a son but sadly her marriage did not last. Not long after she was diagnosed with cancer, which she bravely fought but lost. The queen of pop, who conquered the hearts of millions passed away 7 years ago today, in a London hospital.

When I decided to dedicate this post in memory of Nazia, I under-estimated how difficult it would be to do so.

I remember being at my cousin’s house when we all heard on the news that Nazia Hassan had sadly passed away from cancer back in 2000 but what shocked me the most was my reaction upon hearing this. It really did upset me. Why? I didn’t understand why I reacted like I just heard someone close to me had just died! I didn’t ‘know’ her, didn’t know any of her songs and wasn’t a fan ... So why did it affect me so much? Over the years I became more intrigued and interested about learning more about this woman ... who she was, her life and her songs – the more I did learn the more I was amazed of how much this little person achieved in her short lived life and with that my respect and love for her increased.

Since 2000 I have collected majority of her songs and albums, which I must admit is difficult to do so. Most of the original recordings / albums are extremely rare to locate EVEN in Pakistan. When I was in Pakistan in 2004 apart from hearing the usual crap .... “Are you here to get married?” ... ”Why are you not married?” ... ”Shall I find you a nice munda?” ... ”You’re so and so’s daughter” ... The thing I heard after all that was ... ”You’re the one who was named after Nazia Hassan ... She was a nice girl ... Poor girl ... ” Can you believe that?!!

Last year I made a new Pakistani friend at work who had recently moved from Karachi to England when she got married. Not sure how we got on to the subject of Nazia [think I was showing her the music I had on my IPod] but I’m so glad that I did! Firstly she was surprised that not only someone like me had Nazia Hassan tracks on my IPod and actually heard of her but that I was also a massive fan. Her reaction was ... “But your British!" .... Still not sure what she meant by that! [Probably because I am known for my “Rock Chic persona” and my love for all things rock!!].

Anyways, she followed that by saying how she and Nazia used to be friends back in Pakistan – they grew up together; families knew one another, moved in the same social circle and went to the same parties! Can you imagine my reaction? Jeez, I was one jealous gyal!

I wish I met her when she was alive. I wish I was a fan when she was still with us. But it wasn’t meant to be. Stupid as this may sound but I usually find myself sobbing .... no not crying but sobbing when I’m listening to her songs or watching her video’s .... which seems to be everyday!

Nazia Hassan – you lived a short life but my god you made quite an impact. You are known as the “sweetheart of Pakistan” and “The nightingale of the East”. Even though you are not with us anymore, you are still remembered for your grace, beauty and your innocence. You will always be loved and missed by your fans across the world. R I P

Some of with my favorite Nazia Hassan song's. Peeps, enjoy!

A fan video
Nazia Hassan’s only Punjabi song
Dil Ki Lagi
Khushi - taken from live show
Boom Boom - taken from live show
Dum Dum Dee dee
Kiya Howa
Tera Qadmo Ko - with Zoheb Hassan
Sathey Ray - Tribute to Nazia from Zoheb *sob*

All pictures borrowed from http://launch.ph.groups.yahoo.com/group/naziahassengroup/photos & http://launch.groups.yahoo.com/group/naziahasan - thank you.

Below are my few of my usual haunts that I visit for my fix on Nazia Hassan - Enjoy!

http://www.geocities.com/naziazoheb80s/nstory.html
http://www.geocities.com/naziahassan_zohebhassan/index.html
http://www.naziahassan.co.uk/
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nazia_Hassan
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nazia_and_Zoheb
http://www.jazbah.org/naziah1.php - Used as reference

Oh, and as I haven’t rambled on enough already, I would just like to say ...... “Happy 60th Pakistan Independence day” to all Pakistani around the world.

Pakistan Zindabad .... an' all that :)

Father and Daughter

2007-08-07T19:33:00.001Z

I am going to dedicate this [long but intriguing post!] to my dad.

I occasionally mention my dad when I’m blogging or having a good old rant about family but a sweet and tender moment which lead to a nice conversation on Friday night, with my dad has given me a reason to write about it today. It will probably be a delicate post but it’s something I feel I must do [this will hopefully link perfectly to my next post, which will be posted in a few days].

I’ll start right at the beginning ... a portrayal of who my dad is, if you like. My earliest memory of my dad is of him hardly being around. He was always away working, so growing up it was pretty much me, bro and mum. I think as a result of that I am not really close to my dad. Don’t get me wrong, we have a great relationship that other fathers and daughters might be envious of but I wouldn’t say we’re extremely close.

The relationship between my dad and bro has always been frosty to say the least but has recently begun to improve. We all have noticed a huge difference – for the better. I personally believe the reason behind that could be that now my bro is married and expecting a child of his own, his outlook on life has been tremendously evolved as he has matured and got more responsibilities.

Growing up and whenever my dad was at home, he was THE person I would go bug if there was something I REALLY wanted [and I mean anything!]. Even though we were spoiled when we were kids, my mum would occasionally say ‘no’ where as my dad wouldn’t. Whatever I wanted, I usually got [that also could be due to the fact that I would be a right little madam for days if I didn’t get whatever I wanted – I’m not a brat anymore .... honestly!]. If I wanted a particular toy, gadget or the latest electronic item ... I would go to dad ...... whereas my mum and I LOVED going jewellery shopping every weekend. [However as quickly as I got the jewellery, I would usually go and loose it somewhere! But I had cool parents who never seemed to mind!!].

Life was good until 1997 when our lives were literally changed overnight. We were never to be the same again. A short while after, my bro moved out and went to Portugal to live with our uncle. I also rebelled and moved out, where as my dad went to Pakistan. It took over a year when we all reunited and all were under one roof again.

My dad was always way too over protective when I was younger. I remember practically each time I wanted to go out with my friends, my dad would quiz me a million times before I was allowed out. Granted he never said no, so it was totally worth it. It wasn’t until I turned 17 and moved back home when he finally stopped asking altogether.

Anyways, life was getting back on track until that is when my dad re-married and I hated him for it. It took me a long time to forgive him. I remember clearly when he told us and remember our reactions. That was years ago now and I’m over it ...... kinda.

I respect and love my dad. He has never pushed or forced me into anything I didn’t want to do and is ALWAYS defending me. An example of this was during my bro’s wedding when I had a huge bust up with certain family members. I’ve never seen my dad so furious before when he found out that I had been practically insulted in front of guests. Even now he is reluctant to attend family gatherings without my so say. He constantly asking my opinion ... “Do you think we should go?” ..... “I’ll go if you say so” .... Do you know any other father who does that? My reply is usually “Dad, do what you want. I’ll be ok”.

Anyways let’s get back to what happened Friday night. Last week my dad heard sounds of music that he didn't usually hear coming from my bedroom. I was listening to Nazia Hassan. Both my dad and his wife were pleasantly surprised to learn that not only did I love listening to Nazia Hassan and was a massive fan of hers but were also surprised that I actually knew Urdu, albeit songs but still Urdu!! [Urdu being the MAIN language at home which I can understand but can’t speak]. Usually the only music sounds coming from my room are that of thumping rock tunes!

My dad refuse to believe me, so it wasn’t until I showed him my laptop and he saw my impressive collection of Pakistani classic tracks that I had downloaded over a short period of time, ranging from Nazia Hassan, Noor Jehan and Musarat Nazir.

This prompted my dad to reminisce and tell me [and his wife] about the day I was born and how my parents really struggled to find a suitable name for me ......... that was until they heard a new song blasting from the car radio .... on the journey home from the hospital .... the song which went on to become one of the most famous & and well reconised by practically everyone .... the song was ..... “Aap Jaisa Koi mera zindagi may aaya” sung by a very young Pakistani / British singer .... The one and only Nazia Hassan.

It was really nice to hear my dad talk about my birth and the reason behind my name, especially since it was my BIRTHday the coming Sunday ........ I sort of knew that I was ‘named after her’ on the day she sadly passed away, when my nanni told me but it was eventually confirmed by my dad [wish my mum told me, someday]. Stupid to think that once upon a time I in fact hated my name and really wanted to change it! Now I am totally honoured to be named after such a person ....... Who knew that I would one day begin to respect and be a fan of the person my parents decided to name me after?

So, that’s it .... That’s my dad, my life and the story behind my name. Interesting?? ... Well, it is to me anyways!!

In my next post, I will [inshallah] dedicate it to Nazia Hassan herself ....... showing a few of my favourite songs / videos ..... As the anniversary of her death etches closer..... August 13th .... RIP.

But until then folks, I will leave you with one of my favourite Nazia Hassan tracks. This track is taken from a live show that she used to present in Pakistan [not sure when exactly this was shown]. You will hear her speak and then sing a fab song.

I will add more in my next post, inshallah.

Enjoy guys!

(Post edited by moi)

Weekend Blues Part II

2007-07-29T18:32:00.000Z

Why are my family such a bunch of wankers ......

I promised myself that I would not shed any more tears regarding family politics but that wasn’t meant to be ... I’m just extremely grateful and glad my dad and his wife are on my side.

Weekend Blues

2007-07-21T16:32:00.000Z

The family have begun bickering and fighting over petty little things, dragging up past arguments, which really should be left dead and buried in the past ....... that can only mean one thing – a pending family wedding!!!! ARGHHHHH!!!

A few weeks ago at my new couz sis Kikaa, I found out that my couz bro was getting married. Good news, I thought. I am truly pleased for him ...... fast forward a few days my other couz bro [his older bro] announced his intention of marrying and settling down and again I was genuinely happy for him also. Both are marrying Muslim girls BUT not Pakistani’s, which nowadays seems to be the norm for my generation of British cousins. All have married non-Pakistanis has as my own bro.

The engagement party for one of my couz bro is next week and already I have been ‘ordered’ by my beloved nani that I will have to go ...... Everyone knows that I tend to stay away from such occasions.

So, reminder to myself, MUST CANCEL ALL ARRANGED SOCIAL EVENTS FROM MY REALLY “BUSY” LIFE NEXT WEEK!!! Done (“,)

Anyways, every time the topic of marriage arises, it seems to be the catalyst that my so called family needs to ignite family feuds that have, as mentioned previously died down slowly over the months and years, in particular one of my aunts who just loves a good old fight! This time, however it will be very different, as I for one will be staying away from it all. I have no intention of participating or have very little interest in “family politics” .... Been there, brought the T-shirt, worn it, ripped it, burned it over and over and done it ....!!

Also one can guarantee that when the topic of shaadi does crop up, slowly following that will be the this statement

“ ..... When will it be your turn beta? When are you going to find yourself a nice munda.....”

Thought I’d escaped that!! Leave me the fuck alone! When my time comes, it’ll come! My dad was never uttered the M word to me, so who cares? I aint bothered, yet! As I said, when the time comes, everyone will know!

Moving on, not much else has happened. Had the house pretty much to myself this week [and next week] as my dad’s wife & kids have gone to Germany for their hols. It’s been a long time since it was just me and my dad alone at home together, although to be fair, we’re both at work and hardly see each other in the evenings but nevertheless it has been QUIET! Just the way I prefer :)

On the weather front, talk about a storm! Jeez!!! Most of Britain has been flooded. It’s been raining non-stop since yesterday but luckily for us we haven’t been affect by the flood .... just by the storm!

Thursday was an absolute gorgeous day. It was so warm and lovely – trust me to be wearing so many layers of clothing. Come Friday, decided to wear as little as possible .... don’t need a jacket, I thought .... How wrong was I! By the time I made my journey home it was absolutely pissing it down and extremely cold!! Damn weather!! But, would not change it for the world, honestly ........

Not much else to rant about. Been tagged by “Suga n Spice”, so here goes ....

1. Music – I cannot live without my Ipod. I love music of all kinds especially rock. I usually go through phases of listening to only one particular type of music by a certain artist or group for a while and then do a complete U-turn and listen to something totally different. At the mo, I am listening constantly to Nazia Hassan. I LOVE her and her music! RIP

2. Decisions – I’m such a crappy decision maker. I always without a doubt change my mind at the very last second. My mates really hate that about me! Each time we arrange a night out, you can guarantee I will always be the last one to actually commit to that date! What else do you expect from an extremely fickly individual? lol

3. Sleep – You’re asking an Insomniac this? ANY sleep I get is a dream come true. If and when I do nod off, I can wake up if I hear even the slightest of sounds – not a good thing for me. Stay away from me ....

4. Family – My everything and yet annoying at the same time.

5. Religion – I am nothing without Islam. Even though I don’t pray as often as I should but I am proud to be a Muslim.

6. Culture – I see myself more British than Pakistani. Don’t get me wrong … I am proud of the fact I am a Pakistani and I love everything about my culture but sometimes I just “don’t get it”. It has nothing with my upbringing. My parents did their upmost to ensure that my bro and I had the best of both worlds. Granted my Urdu / Punjabi are poor but I can understand it, without much difficulty. I hardly wear shalwaar Kameez’s. Think I only have about a handful!

7. Turn-ons – Eyes ….. My weakness. If a guy has nice eyes than … watch out!!! I also love if a guy makes me feel comfortable and the ability to make me smile – THAT takes a lot!

8. Sucks – Many things, but I don’t want to rant again, so let’s just leave it at that ....

9. Words – Hmmmm .....Well, I need words to get through the day. I work for a bank and believe me I need to have great vocabulary otherwise the corporate managers I deal with each day would eat me alive!

10. Weird – Never ending bouts of worrying about everything and nothing .....

Why Don't You Have a Boyfriend?

2007-07-08T11:55:00.000Z

You know I was beginning to wonder why!

I am soooooo glad I took this test.

You Don't Have a Boyfriend Because You are Too Shy

When a guy gets to know you, he finds a great catch
Problem is... you're too shy for most guys to get to know.
From meeting someone to dating, you usually have your guard up.
And while you're just holding back, it makes you seem like you've got something to hide.

Why Don't You Have a Boyfriend?

Now I know the reason why, I can try and work out the problem .... heheee!! :)

4 Things ......

2007-07-08T00:55:00.000Z

Saw the following at Farah’s world blog and thought I’d give it a try! What fun!

Four jobs that I’ve had in my life

1. Christmas Job at the early learning centre
2. Where I’m working now
3. That’s all!

Four movies that I watch over and over again

1. Ginger Snaps 1 & 3
2. Aliens 1,2,3 & 4
3. Beaches
4. The Descent

Four places I have lived

1. East Midlands, England, UK – Lived here all my life

Four TV shows I love watching

1. Law & Order: Special Victims Unit
2. Most Haunted
3. CSI: Las Vegas [only]
4. Medium

Four web sites I visit daily:

1. My Blog
2. Check all my emails …. Gmail, Hotmail, Yahoo etc
3. Digital Spy
4. You tube

Four favorite foods

1. Chicken Biryani … YUM
2. Fish Fingers
3. Nando’s chicken fillet
4. Pop corn!!

Four places I’d rather be at the right now

1. New Zealand
2. Las Vegas
3. Pakistan – JUST for shopping!
4. Mecca

Four favorite band / artist [added my own to the list!]

1. Evanescence
2. Kaiser Chiefs
3. Justin Timberlake
4. Nazia Hassan

New Template

2007-07-07T19:53:00.001Z

As you can see, I have updated my blog ..... I kinda like it ...

Probably take a while until I grow to like it. For now it will do.

Have no idea what the above title is saying but gona keep it anyways!

Will update soon!

XXX

Back from a semi-hiatus.... Yet again!!

2007-06-23T23:38:00.000Z

Apologies for my lack of posting recently. Just have the usual going-ons in my life. So, let’s have a brief re-cap of exactly what’s been going on.

My Bro turned 30 this month. I incorrectly mentioned that he turned 30 last year in one of my post, which incidentally and completely off – topic ..... I’ve been blogging for over a year now ..... Whooo Hoooo to me!! Anyways, I unfortunately didn’t make my way down to London for his birthday bash due to work commitments nor have I’ve given him his birthday present – some fancy gadgetry [expensive] type of speakers. He’s been ranting about these speakers for a while so I though, hey why the heck not!?
You know, I am sooo pleased for my bro. I have always wanted him to have the best and Alhamdulillah he has.... great job, fab home, in-laws love him, happily married and a child on the way. I am truly happy for him.

Speaking about new arrivals, my mamu and wife celebrated a new arrival of their own last week, the birth of their first born, a gorgeous little girl. Marshallah, she’s a tiny but adorable little thing. Thursday was the “Kikaa” which I was looking forward to but missed the actual ceremony. The whole day had been crappy anyways, and then the idea of being nice and mingling with family members I haven’t seen or spoken to for a while wasn’t appealing after such a day. I’m gutted I missed my nanaji cut off her beautiful hair [my nanaji has cut ALL of his grandchildren’s hair. Incredible to think, he’s been doing it for over 30 years!!]. Later today is the family “dawaat”. How will I cope?! A whole day with members of my family after such a long time ...... *sigh* .... God, help me!!

On the work front, I surprising have better news. Remember in one of my previous post I mentioned that my new manager was a complete arse and how much I dislike my job. Well, my manager has completely done a U-turn and has become incredibly supportive of my decision to be more involved and help me to work my way up the corporate ladder. I have become so involved in many projects that I’m always busy! For the very first time since I’ve been there I have actually wanted to STAY! Hope it continues ..... I also amended my long working hours last week and have noticed a huge improvement. I was getting extremely tired with going to work before the birds even began to make their annoying sounds and coming home late in the evening after a long day at the office. I used to spend more hours at work then I did while I was at home. Since changing my working hours just a week ago, I’ve been much calmer, less stressful and stop being tired! Again, it can only get better, hey?! :)

Had a great night out with my friends at Nando’s on Friday. Hard to believe we had a good time at Nando’s, of all places! I came home so late that for the very first time my dad actually brought up the subject the following afternoon.

“You came home late last night. Must have been a good night” my dad said with a grin
“Yeah ..... “ Was my reply suffering with a weird hang over type of headache ....... “I’m paying for it now though” I said quietly ...... “ going back to bed ....”
“Beta, it’s 2.30pm ....”
“Yeah, well whatever ....” :)

Anyways, I have a lot of reading around my usual blog haunts and catching up to do. Haven’t been to the SS forum for a while so guess I’l be starting there .....

Till next time peeps!

XXX

Arise for Sir Becks!

2007-06-01T19:42:00.000Z

Love ya babe but a knighthood?? No, not just yet ....

Anyways welcome back.

Nice to see you back in your number 7 shirt, playing for England, once again ....... just where you belong.

Btw ..... Lovin' the hair [as always!] :)

Bank holiday weekend

2007-05-27T19:14:00.000Z

Don’t really have a better title, so the above will do for now.

Haven’t blogged for a while, so let’s just start [ranting] from the beginning .......

Work is doing my nut in. I know I can do so much better than the shit hole I’m currently am at, at the mo. A few months ago I really thought I was making some kind of progress of ‘working my way up the ladder’ but that seems to have fizzled out mainly because I am not loud, arrogant, rude, obnoxious, a bitch .... You kinda get my drift.... Why is it people who ARE ALL of the above are the ones who worm their way up the corporate structure? I refuse to become a complete arse just so I can achieve better things BUT unfortunately that’s the way it works in real life.

Not only do I have to deal with that, I also have to deal with the fact that I’ve got myself a new manager who is the biggest cow on the planet. I am so damn sure that she’s racist but doesn’t know it ...... meaning I don’t think she actually realises [it’s so blatantly obvious] that she’s treating me any different to everyone else on the team, as I am the only Paki. BUT that doesn’t really bother me much really ... what really gets on my [‘scuse my French] tits is how pathetically ignorant she is - with her in charge, I won’t have a chance in hell of progressing ......You know a while ago before she became our manager, I actually, believe it or not, had a dream where I was at work and got the sack ..... Guess who the person was that sacked me in front of everyone?? I thought it was hilarious at the time and told my friends about it .......... Is someone trying to tell me something?!!

Let’s just say that I am very glad that I’ve got friends in much higher positions than she is ...

Moving on, I’ve had the house to myself this weekend as my ‘crew’ have gone down to London to stay with my bro and SIL. I had loads of things planned but due to my ever endless bad luck I seem to have, I’ve been in bed all weekend, drugged up with a nasty flu. I’ve been so bored and had been looking forward to a night out yesterday with my mates that had been arranged a while ago but wasn’t meant to be!! I managed to drag my ass out of bed this afternoon to grab some fresh air and by that I mean the rain, had some food, rang my best mate for some goss and finally logged onto here ... thinking what a lazy monkey I’ve been as I haven’t updated my blog for some time.

On a plus note, my ‘crew’ finally found out that my SIL is pregnant!!! YEY!!!!!! Marsallah, she is glowing! My dad and his wife were so happy with the news! I can’t wait now to tell the rest of the family about the pregnancy. It’s been so difficult keeping [pardon the pun] mum about it all!!! The ‘crew’ will be back later tonight with my bro and SIL in tow but I am in no mood for socialising.

Right ... after my disastrous score on the ‘How Paki are you’ test, I was determined to do much better [after taking it bout 4 times!!]. I know it’s JUST a test but still .... so here goes [for the final time]:

Arey, you are 27% Pakistani!

Sorry yaar, that's quite low. You're either a Pakistani that's strayed far from your roots, or a non-Pakistani with a little bit of spice in your character. A little bit more effort wouldn't hurt!

How Pakistani are you? (first class number one!)
Create a Quiz

OMG .... I give up!!!!!!

The F A Cup Final

2007-05-19T16:09:00.000Z

Come on Manchester United

UPDATE .... Oh, crap ...!

How Paki I'm I??

2007-05-10T18:27:00.000Z

Nicked the following from Sobia's blog - thanks!

Arey, you are 19% Pakistani!

Oh wow ...... O k .... No comment!! (",)

Catch Up ...... and some GOOD NEWS!!

2007-05-06T20:46:00.000Z

So, as per usual, I haven’t been able to update my blog as often as I would like to but anyways ... what’s been happening in my life??

My trip to London was great. Spent loads of dosh on things I actually needed for once in my life and I didn’t end up meeting any strange peeps on my journey back on the train ;)

Watched even more Bollywood films(!). Don’t ask me what they were but we managed to watch at least 3 in one evening! We ended up going to bed at 5am! Thank god for subtitles, hey?!

Moving on to the good news ..............I received some FABULOUS news whilst I was there!! I don’t know if I should mention it but I am soooo happy that I must share the news with everyone ..... I’m going to be an AUNT!! Yey!! My SIL is pregnant!!! My bro is over the moon! He’s already picking out cute lil outfits for a girl and looking at names!

The baby is their first child, my parents first grandchild and my first nephew or niece!!

The reason why I said I shouldn’t mention it is because she is only 2 months pregnant and no one on my side of the family are aware, where as her WHOLE family know.

Unfair really ... I want my family to acknowledge and celebrate the news. It’s not my place to say anything but jeeezzzzz it is difficult to keep my mouth shut!!

Even though I am happier than words can express, I’m just a little bit upset over the fact I will rarely get the chance to see my new niece or nephew on a regular basis!! Oh, I wish they moved here!

I know that I sound jealous but arghhhhhhhhhhhh!! (",)

Oh well, more trips down to London, I guess once the baby is born :)

Poor baby will have to learn Punjabi, Urdu [our side], Malay and whatever language their speak on my SIL's family ..... I’ll stick with English ;)

To my nephew or niece ....... I cannot wait until you arrive. You will be immensely loved by everyone. I will spoil you rotten, inshallah. Love you already!

I’m just so excited I’ve forgotten what else I was going to mention!! My mind has gone completely blank.

Never mind .... Till next time.

Take care all

XXX

UPDATE

HOW could I forget! Doh!!

Well done Manchester United!! Whoooooo Hooooooo!!!

Just because [II]

2007-05-02T21:30:00.000Z

Your Name Is Pretty Sexy! :)

Your name scored 109 in the "How Sexy Is Your Name Test"

How Sexy Is Your Name?

So ... My first name scored 109 points and is 'pretty sexy' .... Where as my firstname and surname together....

Your Name Is Too Too Sexy! :)

Your name scored 198 in the "How Sexy Is Your Name Test"

How Sexy Is Your Name?

.. I scored a whooping 198 - My Name IS TOO TOO SEXY! [of course!]

Useless post, I know but for now it will do :)

Bored .......[ Random post so probably won't make much sense!!]

2007-04-17T16:13:00.000Z

Second day into my week long holiday and I am absolutely bored – I’m going crazy!!

I really did need this week off though as last week turned out to be one of the worst working weeks since I’ve been there. By Friday I was ready to murder someone, literally ..... I was in such a crappy mood all week that even my team manger noticed, pulled me to one side all concerned and asked me if everything was ok - just certain people not worth mentioning who think their god’s gift and are able to get away with shit did my head in .... it’s unfair .... However I am not going to waste my post on these individuals.

Anyways, the weather has been lovely – a wee bit too warm for my liking but nevertheless nice. Spend the day shopping but soon realised it’s not much fun on your own – EVERYONE I know is at work or uni .... Not counting my cousin sisters whom I’m not talking to anymore....... So I was completely friendless today ...... But I prefer it like this [sometimes]. Put on my Ipod, listen to my music and shop peacefully..... Didn’t purchase want I really wanted – Clothes, of course ... So I spend my hard earned dosh on things I don’t even need [or as my nani would say on ‘Faazool’ things]

From tomorrow though I will soon be busy ... Got a hair appointment [cut & highlights required!!], go back into town to do more shopping, meet up with some friends who are free and come Thursday .... I’m off to LONDON ... Whooo Hooooo!! Cannot wait until I hit the retailers on Oxford Street, Piccadilly and most importantly Carnaby Street! Will stay with my bro and sis in law until late Sunday evening, chill the following Monday and go back to work on Tuesday ... ;)

Finally, I cant remember where and who’s blog I saw the following but thought it was fun to try & I’ve not nothing better to do at the mo ...... So:

Go to Wikipedia. Put in your date of birth..... For example mine is 05 August 198_*ahem* and then post 3 events, 2 birthdays, 1 death and 1 holiday - just pick out the events you want!

Here goes... 5th August

3 Events:

• 1110 – Henry I crowned King Of England in Westminster Abbey
• 1884 – The cornerstone for the Statue of Liberty is laid on Bedloe’s Island in New York Harbor
• 1962 – Nelson Mandela is jailed

2 Birthdays:

• 1862 – Joseph Merrick aka The Elephant Man [coincidentally he was born and grew up where I was born and still live before he traveled to London & became infamous]
• 1930 – Neil Armstrong. The “first man on the moon” allegedly

1 Death:

• 1962 – Marilyn Monroe .... Wow, never knew that one of the greatest legends ever died on this day

1 Holiday / Festival:

• Victory and Homeland Thanksgiving day in Croatia ... Hmmmmm.....

Interesting to know what occurred throughout History on the day you were born.....

What fun! Try it guys!

Something for the weekend [part II] Yum!!

2007-04-14T20:36:00.000Z

Prince William has become Britain’s most Eligible bachelor now that he has [finally] spilt with Kate Middleton – there was something always ‘dodgy’ about her.

Wills has always been one of my [many] male celebrities crushes ever since I was teenager albeit him being 2 years younger than me.

Anyways, I am dedicated this weekend to SOME of my celebrities crushes from my teenage years up til now .... Enjoy!

[In no particular order]

Maldini – The gorgeous Italian player. I try not to miss a match when Italy are playing!

Jude law – Is a twat in real life but still a pretty boy.

Justin Timberlake – He can rock my body anytime he wants ... hehee!!

Prince Harry and William – The older Harry gets the better he’s looking! Wills has always looked good.

Tom Welling – HOT

Ashton – Just soooo cute!

Johnny Depp – He will always be on my list .....

Del Peiro – Before Becks came into ‘my life’, Del Peiro was my number one guy. I used to have a major crush when I was at school. Still looking pretty cool.

Brad Pitt – Of course!!

David Beckham – My number one guy! *SIGH*

There are many more but I'm sure you get the jist ;)

Finally, so they are not left out ...... The ladies that I think are gorgeous would include these two:

Angeline Jolie - Beautiful

Amy Lee - GORGEOUS eyes!

Btw - Check out the new video by Evanescence - "Sweet Sacrifice" on You Tube or Yahoo! Music ...... FAB!

oppppssss ....

2007-04-14T15:54:00.000Z

Not sure what happened but I've seem to gone back to my old blog skin!! Oppss ....

So until decide on a new skin for my blog, I am taking a small break .... Bye.

EDIT - Decided to keep blog skin like this. Also posted the above .....

Something for the weekend .... [Can’t really think of another title]

2007-04-07T19:25:00.000Z

So, the past few days went by slowly but without much bother. I was left pretty much well alone – just how I like it. We all grieve and pay our respect in our ways ..... [Just a quick shout out to all your kind comments from my last post – very much appreciated guys, honestly].

Moving on....... Think I’ve OD on Easter eggs today!! No more chocolate for at least ermmmmmmmmmmmmmm 24 hours! That should be long enough :)

Not much else to mention. I nicked the following from Enyur’s blog ....

5 things you did not know about me:

1) I wanted to be a fashion designer when I was younger. I used to have more of a fashion sense back in the days. Nowadays, as long as I have black on then it’s all good :)

2) I have a huge black [and I mean BIG & BLACK!!] birth mark on my lower back. Peeps assume I have a tattoo. It’s fairly visible when I wear lower cut jeans. The last time I was in Pakistan, one of my lil cousin noticed the birth mark and immediately rushed out to announce to everyone that ‘bhaji from ‘London’ had a tattoo!’..... I wouldn’t have minded but it was a family wedding and she shouted it out to all of the horrified guests ........... safe to say that I wasn’t amused and had to show certain auntie ji’s my lower back JUST to confirm that I didn’t have a frigging tattoo – believe me this news would have reached my dad back home [I went with my grandparents] within SECONDS and he would have not been too pleased! Btw – why do people in Pakistan always think I’m from London? I’m British sure but I’m NOT from London! I in fact live somewhere in the Midlands.

3) This could tarnish my whole ‘rock chic’ imagine but not only do I have an impressive collection of rock / indie tracks on my laptop [if I say so myself .....], I also have a few cheesy pop tracks ......... ok, quite a few! This is a big deal! If my mates ever found out then bye bye cool rock chic persona [ exaggerating much?], Cheesy embarrassing tracks include ... Spice Girls, New Kids On The Block, ABBA, Las Ketchup ...... etc (“,)

4) Not many people know but I have 2 step-siblings. I rarely talk about them.

5) I am extremely fickle – that’s all I’m saying on that :)

April 4th

2007-04-01T15:14:00.000Z

This week, especially Wednesday 4th of April is going to be a very long, difficult and extremely hard day for me and the rest of my family .....

It will be 10 years since we suffered a loss that is still fresh in our minds as the day it actually happened.

Can’t really say anymore about it as it still upset me. I did mention it a while ago in one of my previous post .... You can find it here if you’re interested.

X

Charming.....!!

2007-03-29T22:05:00.000Z

You are Death

Change, Transformation, Alteration.

People fear this card, but if you want to change your life, this is one of the
best indicators for it. Whatever happens, life will be different. Yes, the Death card can signal a death in the right circumstances (a question about a very sick or old relative, for example), but unlike its dramatic presentation in the movies, the Death card is far more likely to signal transformation, passage, change. Scorpio, the sign of this card, has three forms: scorpion, serpent, eagle. The Death card indicates this transition from lower to higher to highest. This is a card of humility, and it may mean you have been brought low, but only so that you can then go higher than ever before. Death "humbles" all, but it also "exults." Always keep in mind that on this card of darkness there is featured a sunrise as well. You could be ready for a change.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

Desi Nuptials [and other randomness]

2007-03-25T19:07:00.000Z

Having read a few different blogs about Desi weddings and how it’s done within the community, it compelled me to comment on this situation.

Firstly, my own personal opinion on all this? [Many might disagree but we’re all entitled to our views]. I really do believe that the concept of marriage is over rated. I would be extremely happy to meet the ‘right’ guy, move in together, settle down and plan our future with one another WITHOUT the hassle of getting married. I am aware of how this sounds and is clearly unheard of among respectable Muslim Pakistani families but to me it’s an ideal solution. Although I know that that this is the perfect dream for me, my dad will no doubt NOT give his blessing. Why should he really – because this just does NOT happen

Now, the actual process of choosing ‘one’s life partner’ is another part of Desi Shaadi’s that I just cannot comprehend. Don’t get me wrong, I have absolutely no arguments with parents finding a suitable girl / guy for their children but the WAY it’s done just pisses me off [continue reading and you will understand my reason’s for my frustrations].

Things that mother-in-laws look for in a daughter-in-law:

Age: This being a huge factor [if not THE reason]. A girl must be at that age where she’s not far too young or way too old for their precious son. Take me for example – in a few months I will be 27 [great(!)]. Most will consider this to be ‘over the hill’. I am constantly being harassed by aunty ji’s, who are horrified to learn that I still HAVEN’T married and had 6 kids, whereas their own daughters who are YOUNGER than me have. Why the hell should this ever matter???

Education: Granted you don’t want a girl who ‘isn’t all there’. Someone with common sense, yeah that’s cool but trying to find a doctor, lawyer or some ‘pillar of the community?’ – Now that’s just pushing it a little! [No offense to any ladies who are any of the above!!].

Background: Another factor which really gets on my t**s! I would not marry anyone who isn’t Muslim [yes, I do have reservations about this - but at the moment I am having no such luck with any Muslim guys]. Things like what cast the girls belongs to – I don’t mean like sects, but cast among the Pakistani community. I would give some example but I can’t even remember what some of them are! If you’re both Muslim, why should it matter? A few years ago my cousin sister married an Indian guy she met at university. I know many of the older generations in my family were not too pleased [and it didn’t help matters when they divorced a few years later – there was a lot of ‘we told you so’ looks from these certain individuals]. Another example is my big bro [bless him!]. He was extremely nervous in telling my family [He had told me months before and was behind him 120% and over the moon!] especially my dad that he found the ‘girl of his dreams’ [her being my sis in law] and wanted to marry but she wasn’t a FULL Pakistan. Confusing, I know. I told him we would face dad together. I’m still not sure where her family originates from. No member of her family speaks Punjabi or Urdu, only speak English. The ONLY member of that family who was Pakistani was her nanni. She moved to Malaysia / Thailand when she was younger, got married and settled there. Anyways my dad reacted badly to the news, just simply because she was not a Pakistani but after a week or so everything died down, he got over it and welcomed his daughter-in-law with open arms [well he had to really – you don’t really have a choice when your son tells you he will marry with or without his blessing. My dad and bro aren’t close, never have been, but that’s a totally different story for another day].

She pretty / fair?: Selecting a girl because she is pretty is shallow but it does happen. Ugly Betty? No way ..... I don’t EVEN want to start on when parents go ‘back home’ to find a nice, respectable, good kuree. Pleaseeeeee, do they even know what these so called girls from ‘back home’ are like nowadays? [Again, please do not take any offense to this comment. I am referring to the girls that I have met while I've been in Pakistan. I know that there are truely nice females out there!].

Rules for the guy:

Age: Who cares? They can marry whenever they want

Background / Education: If the guy is good looking, nice and rich then again who really cares!

Past: I know many Paki guys who have, well let’s just say not behaved like little angels and have done many things that their mummies and daddies are not ‘aware’ of but then again does it matter? Never mind, if the guys done these things because he’s a guy. If a girl did exactly the same as the guy, well then she’s just damaged goods – good luck to her parents!

I’m going to stop here. I know there are MANY reasons for what ‘attributes’ parents look for when selecting a suitable wife / husband but you can kinda get my drift [Besides I am getting too worked up about it to write anymore on this subject].

Now moving onto the randomness .........

Since my last post not much has happened in my wonderful eventful and full life! :) I was chosen to attend some road show to meet the number one guy for the bank I work at. A day in Birmingham? What fun we’ll have, I though! Big mistake – it was the most boring day I have had in a very long time. So boring in fact I don’t know why I’m even bothering commenting about it .....

British Summer Time has arrived. Great(!). So midnight, clocks were turned back an hour [1hr less in bed each morning], which means longer days. For some who prefer [no, love] the dark, cold and small days, it’s safe to say that ‘one is NOT amused’.

Yesterday, I nearly died [exaggerating, much?] when I had fruit salad not knowing that it had Kiwi in amongst the rest of the gorgeous fruit – I’m allergic to Kiwi if you haven’t guessed already. Luckily for me I only had one mouth full when I realised something was not right. My throat began to swell up and the unimaginable pain in my stomach occured. I threw up and no further treatment was needed. Thank you Khala ji for that!!

I found out from some random internet ‘what your name means’ site that my name means ‘Optimistic’. HA HA HA ..... Excuse me for a sec while I choke! I am SO NOT an optimistic person! Bless my parents for choosing the name .... Love you dearly guys! But at another site my name apparently meant ‘Honest’ – well, now that does sound about right .......

Anyways, that’s all the randomness for now. I am off to stuff myself and watch ‘Ugly Betty!’.

Til next time.

Proud to be a Paki (istani)......... Aren’t you?

2007-03-10T23:35:00.000Z

Yesterday, my colleagues and I had an in-depth discussion about religion, race and heritage [slow day at work you can say]. As I am the only one who is British, a Muslim & Pakistani who can speak and understand more than one language [sort of], where as my colleagues are all British, white, Christians and who only speak English - it was pretty much a one sided conversation as they were more interested about what I had to say.

Anyways, this conversation reminded me of my childhood years and how I became an outcast almost, just because of who I was.

So, I’m a 26 year old British born Pakistani Muslim who up until 5 years ago was in total denial of her roots. In fact people where surprised to hear that I was actually Pakistani. By their own submission I just didn’t look like a Pakistani – what do Pakistani look like? Please tell, I’m intrigued ....... (!)

I grew up in a multi cultural city where people of all backgrounds lived together [its sooooo not like that anymore]. Apart from my nanni, nannaji & cousins who lived close by, I had no contact with any Pakistani and even knew any. Don’t get me wrong, I had ‘friends’ from other Asian backgrounds [Indian, Sikh, Hindu etc] but I never quite ‘fit in’ – meaning I couldn’t understand ‘their language’, hardly wore traditional clothing or never knowing what the latest Bollywood film / song / actors etc were [stupid, I know].

I actually remember a time where a group of silly little Indian girls rallied around me, taunting me just because I didn’t know who Shah Ruk Khan was!! Granted we were barely teenagers but come on!! Any wonder why I spend all my time with goray’s .......

At secondary school all I ever heard was about the huge blockbuster DDLJ, which I didn’t even watch until 2000. It was always “Oh my god! You still haven’t watched that film??” – Like it was the holy grail of all films [btw, If you’re a fan of Bollywood then you’ll know the name of that film].

So, I began distancing myself with all this and turned to people who didn’t care what I was. Home life was great. My parents pretty much left me and my bro alone – probably the reason why we can barley put a sentence in Punjabi / Urdu between us, even now! Going to Pakistan would be a complete nightmare when we were teenagers, which is why my parents began leaving us behind each time they went [we were happy with that solution, although we missed them dearly].

Over the years, as I grew older and starting going to Pakistani do’s, I would meet more Pakistani, especially other girls of my age [1 in particular who I class as a really good mate and still do]. Most of us are still friends but only tend to meet when we’re at the same event – mind you; I haven’t really been to any of these ‘events’ in a very long time.

Anyways, it wasn’t until I went to University, when I began meeting more Pakistani from all over England – guys and gyals - and where I started to learn more about my roots. These individuals I meet where Brits but knew who they were. They had identities, you know? I didn’t, which was just ..... sad. They didn’t dare shy away from all this, as I once did and I really envied that.

But after 4 long hard but great years, I was a changed lady; In fact:

· I fell in love with a Paki guy [I don’t usually go for Asian guys]
· Became ‘close’ to another one ;-)
· Made many Pakistani friends [best friend is Sikh]
· A friend gave me a huge Pakistani flag, which I still have today and I usually take it out once a year for ‘Pakistan Independence day’
· Don’t mind going to Pakistan – no more than a couple of weeks but nevertheless
· And I actually like listening to old Pakistani songs, especially music from the late great Madam Noor Jehan - Granted I don’t understand what she’s singing about but I still like!

The point I am trying to make is that today, even though I still don’t watch Bollywood films [but enjoy watching Pakistani dramas - one of my dad’s hobbies I picked up. Don’t really get the time to do so anymore] or Still don’t really know how to speak ‘my language’ [nor does my bro who married a non-Pakistani, so doubt he’ll be learning it anytime soon] & have more non Asian friends – None of that actually matters because I am proud of who I am - British & Pakistani - and would not change that for the world.