Just Being Me

And the Winner is . . .

2009-12-18T11:39:00.002-05:00

The CD winner is Tina from Palm Tree Fanatic. I hope you enjoy the CD Tina. Congratulations. Check out the 46 second video Tina has on her blog, it's amazing.

Giveaway

2009-12-13T23:36:00.002-05:00

For all of you who couldn’t join us to hear Josh Young live, he graciously gave me a CD to giveaway here on my blog. If you want to hear a sample of his songs, check my previous post.

The rules are simple. Leave a comment and you are automatically entered. Do a post on your blog letting others know about the giveaway and you receive a second chance at winning the CD yourself.

I’m giving away Josh’s “Under Your Shadow” CD. I know whoever wins this CD will be blessed.

I will announce the winner on Friday, December 18.

For those of you who already own this CD, please leave a comment about what you like about it or your favorite song. If you own the CD and want a chance at giving it as a Christmas present, let me know. You can be entered also.

© Nadine Zawacki 2009

Josh Young

2009-12-11T09:26:00.002-05:00

A few years ago, Tom and I had the pleasure of meeting Josh Young and his lovely wife Jodi. Josh has recorded a couple of CDs and is one of my favorite worship leaders. When I’m having a hard day and I want to change my mind set, I just listen to one of his CDs. He is talented, humble, real and fun to be around. In other words, a good man.

We are excited that he is playing tomorrow night, December 12th, at our church for a night of worship. If you’re in the New York area and are interested in coming, let me know. It starts at 7:30 pm.

Enjoy these YouTube videos of Josh singing.

© Nadine Zawacki 2009

The Revolve Tour

2009-12-10T09:27:00.004-05:00

Last weekend a group of moms and I took six of our young girls to The Revolve Tour. The girls had a great time. The conference was just for girls and the theme was being real. It's an important message for young girls as well as boys to hear. Being real is not always easy. Adults have trouble with it, imagine how difficult it can be for young adults.

My favorite speaker was Chad Eastman. He spoke about guys being waffles and girls being spaghetti. Guys are like waffles because they have compartments. They put everything in a square. They can only operate in one square at a time. He said that they even have a box called, "Nothing." Girls are like spaghetti because everything is intermingled. Girls can go from one subject to another in a second while guys are still in the first wondering where did they go. You can order the book HERE.

My favorite part of the trip was Friday night when I shared the room (2 double beds) with another mom and six teenagers (pictured above). They were great. I was very impressed by the girls. We played this game called, "When I Look At You I See." We told each girl something positive we seen in them, some things were from our own hearts and some things were what we felt God was saying about the girl. These girls are awesome and I was touched by what they said to one another.

© Nadine Zawacki 2009

Will You Marry Me?

2009-12-08T16:05:00.006-05:00

Thirty years ago today this very handsome man got down on his knee, took my hand and kissed it. His smile lit up the entire room and my heart missed a beat. With his eyes filled with love, he looked at me and I knew my world was about to change. He said to me, "With all my heart I love you. I want to spend the rest of it with you. Will you marry me?"

Some wait a long time to hear those words, but I was only eighteen years old. Why God chose to bless me at such a young age, I don't know. I'm just grateful He did. This I'm sure of - He chose Tom for me.

I’m glad I was listening when God was talking all those years ago. No one is more perfect for me than Tom. When he looks at me, my heart still misses a beat and I melt in his arms.

Knowing what I know today and if I could go back in time I would still say yes to that question asked of me so many years ago. I love you Tom.

© Nadine Zawacki 2009

Picture: our engagement party, December 8, 1979.

The Purse

2009-11-30T13:40:00.003-05:00

Inspiration can come from almost anywhere. All you have to do is open up your eyes and see. During our book club meeting I noticed one of the purses (pictured above) of one of the gals at the meeting. It reminded me of a purse from the 1950’s or 1960’s. A story started to develop in my head.

Walking down the street Candice entered Granny’s Thrift Shop just for the fun of it. She wasn’t seeking anything to buy. She was saving for retirement and careful about spending money. Even though retirement was in about ten years she couldn’t help being frugal. She was amazed at the variety of items they gathered in such a small space. On a shelf next to a pair of shoes, a purse caught her eye.

She was drawn to it. Suddenly she was eight years old again.

“Momma, when are we going to the toy store?” Candice asked with a big smile on her face. “Soon, baby. You have to finish your breakfast before we can go.” Her mother stroked the top of her head. I finished as quickly as she could. They were going to the new toy store in town. It was the biggest one in three counties Momma said. I just couldn’t imagine how so many toys would fit in a store that big. “Let me grab my purse and clean your hands and we’ll be on our way.” I sat up front. Excitement filled every fiber in my being. Momma’s purse was right next to me. One day when I’m older, Momma said she would get me a purse just like hers. After Momma made sure I had my seat belt on, it was off to the toy store. Momma stopped the car at the light and looked at me. The smile on her face was stunning. It was the most beautiful face I had ever seen.

Candice picked up the purse. She had to have it. She checked the price tag and was heartbroken that she didn’t have enough money to purchase it. She held it in hands as if she was holding on to a priceless jewel.

“Look, Candy girl. See the store up ahead?” Momma said with a smile. Before I could answer, my world was forever changed. As momma stepped on the gas another car came from the left and rammed into the driver’s side door.

Holding the purse tightly, she walked to the cashier. She tried not cry, but a tear fell from her eye and rolled down her cheek. “Excuse me.” She said as she cleared her throat. Taking a deep breath she continued, “I was wondering if you could hold this purse for me until next week. I don’t have enough right now, but I can give you a partial payment.”

The old woman behind the counter took one look into Candice’s eyes and asked, “Oh, my dear. What’s the matter?”

“I . . . I . . . this purse reminds me of my mother. She had one just like it.”

“Is she no longer with you?”

I remembered being in the hospital, holding on to mother’s purse with a bruise around my waist where the seat belt was fasten. I couldn’t get the image of mother’s bloodied body from my mind. Momma didn’t move. Her head had cracked the windshield. My world had stopped. I tried to scream for help but no sound came out. I didn’t speak for weeks. I just held on to her purse.

“No. She died when I was little. My aunt came over to help pack away my mother’s things . . . and this purse . . . it was taken by mistake.”

The old woman placed her hand on top of Candice’s. “It’s okay honey. You’re the only one who has ever shown any interest in that old thing. You would be doing me a favor if you took it off my hands.”

Now the tears flowed freely. The kindness of this stranger touched her deeply. She managed to say, “Thank you.”

© Nadine Zawacki 2009

Happy Thanksgiving

2009-11-26T09:09:00.002-05:00

Lord I'm thankful for so many things - You, Tom and the kids, family, friends and all that You've given me.

May your day be filled with family, friends, love, joy and happiness. Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Happy Birthday Son

2009-11-24T00:00:00.002-05:00

Twenty four years ago today our son joined our family. I was supposed to have another C-section and was scheduled to have him on the 25th. My dad had a hard time with this. He said his grandson will come when God determines it’s time for him to come and not when the doctor said. Mind you, we did not know if we were having a girl or boy, but my dad was convinced he was a boy. Our son agreed with him and he was a day early. He’s still always early. I remember looking into his eyes and falling in love.

As a child he was very active. We would call him “Ricochet Rabbit.” He was fast and always on the move. His tender heart came through when he slowed down enough to show it.

Today, I celebrate his birthday even though he is three thousand miles away, but in my heart I hold him close.

Tom and I couldn’t be prouder of our son. He’s strong, hard working, and handsome (like his pops). I admire how determined he is in pursuing his dreams. I love how focused he is.

I look forward to seeing you at Christmas. Happy Birthday, Son. Your pops and I love you very much.

© Nadine Zawacki 2009

Another Reason Why I’m Chandler

2009-11-16T11:18:00.002-05:00

I don’t like to take personality tests. You know the kinds that you answer a million questions to find out what “personality type” you are. Tom on the other hand loves these tests. What ends up happening is he bugs me to take them too.

I once took a test that asked the question, “Which Friends Character Are You?” Tom had nothing to do with it; he likes the more serious types of tests. Believe it or not I was Chandler. Maybe it’s the fact that I crack jokes all the time. Maybe it’s because I have something sarcastic to say (or ten). For the record, I show lots more self control with telling a joke. Those of you who know me are a little scared right now, but you should have seen me 20 years ago.

But this morning I was reminded why there is another reason why I’m the Chandler character – sound effects.

I don’t know about you other ladies out there, but I am horrible at sound effects. The majority of guys are born with this ability. They play cops and robbers or solider and produce all these sounds that sound like guns or bombs.

This morning I tried to imitate the sound of hair being cut by scissors. When Tom gave me that all knowing puzzled look, I told him what sound I was trying to make. He smiled, said he loved me and then made the correct sound of scissors cutting hair. We just laughed.

Here is a clip of Chandler that proves that sometimes these tests do come out correct.

© Nadine Zawacki 2009

P.S. I have been responding to everyone’s comments. It’s not something I’ve done in the past, but just started doing.

Confession Time

2009-11-10T14:49:00.002-05:00

They say confession is good for the soul. Let’s see if that’s true. I want to confess something. I hope that you don’t think ill of me when I make this confession.

It all started as I was making some of my home made sauce. Tom’s mom taught me how when we first got married. That was the only thing Tom asked of me and it was a good idea, since I wasn’t Italian. She was fabulous and happy to share her recipe with me. In my house growing up rice and beans and barbeque goat meat was the norm so I didn’t have any idea about meatballs and spaghetti sauce. Anyway, I digress - back to my confession.

As I was cooking up my sauce, I started to pretend I had my own cooking show. If you must know the theme for my show is home cooking with different ethnic foods since I’m of different ethnic backgrounds.

I know I’m not Italian but I’ve made enough sauce in my 28 years of marriage that I’m an honorary Italian.

I also had a name for my show. It was called, “A Pinch of This and Dash of That.” I know what you’re thinking – my friend is nuts. But let me explain. I have a great imagination (one of the reasons why I like to write). I also have a love of cooking and cooking shows. I’ve been told that I’m humorous. I use to act in High School. You put all of those ingredients together and do you know what you get? You get someone pretending they have a cooking show while they cook dinner. Okay, maybe not.

I feel better getting it off my chest.

Now I’ve shared my little confession. What types of creative things do you do? If it’s something you do when no is watching even better.

© Nadine Zawacki 2009

Mirrors

2009-11-06T12:11:00.001-05:00

Mirrors are a funny thing. A Fun House of Mirrors have special mirrors that distort your appearance. It’s there for fun. You walk through and see yourself big or small or twisted. You have a good laugh because you know you don’t look like that.

I look at myself and I’m not always pleased with my appearance. I wish I was thinner. I wish my hair wasn’t as frizzy. I wish many things. Not all of it has to do with things that are visible.

When Tom looks at me he sees beauty. I know this because he tells me how beautiful I am everyday of our lives. When I call he answers, “Hello beautiful.” He’ll randomly ask, “How’s my pretty girl doing?” He tells me he loves me everyday.

So whose mirror is distorted? Mine or his?

When God looks at me, He sees the beautiful woman he created. He sees the child that is precious and dear to His heart. He sees the person He thought worthy enough to send His son to die for.

Hmmmm.

God is good. He loves me. Period.

© Nadine Zawacki 2009

I’m Married to MacGyver

2009-11-04T15:14:00.001-05:00

Tom is many things to me. He is my husband, best friend, lover, encourager, protector, the father of my children. There is so much more I can say but I’m trying not to make some of you OD on sugar.

We have had things break before around our house and Tom’s handy and can fix many things with the proper tools. What I didn’t know until today was I’m married to MacGyver.

Do you remember that show where MacGyver can fix anything with ordinary things around him?

Tom fixed the wireless microphone at church with straw and duct tape. I was quite impressed.

It’s amazing what you can do with a little imagination.

© Nadine Zawacki 2009

Google Me This

2009-10-30T10:31:00.002-04:00

Google is an unbelievable tool. I have many different blog posts that come up when people are searching for something. Two of my most popular posts are; The Ankle Bracelet and Griot (Haitian Pork Shoulder). The names you use for your posts carry a lot of weight. I still get comments on the Ankle Bracelet post from women who grew up in New York City and remember the tradition.

When the people at our church found out Tom and I would be the new pastors they “Googled” us. I don’t know if it’s funnier that they “Googled” us or that they found things when they did. I’m grateful they only found good things like our Facebook accounts and our blogs.

What happens when you Google your name?

© Nadine Zawacki 2009

You’re All My Favorites

2009-10-27T10:45:00.001-04:00

A member of our church gave me this sweet book, You’re All My Favorites. Why would she give me a children’s story?

It all started with a picture I took with one of the girls at our Ice Cream Social. It was put on Facebook with a bunch of other photos taken that night. She took the photo and created one that said, “Nadine’s Favorite.”

You can imagine it did not sit well with one of the other teen girls. What happened next was a back and forth that turned out to be hilarious. It was all in fun, but I went on record that my love for them was the same.

We love people in different ways because there are different types of love. A love for a parent or a child is not the same as a love for a spouse.

We all want to be special and think we are someone’s favorite. I’m my parent’s favorite and since I’m so much younger than my siblings, I believe they let me get away with that (and it also happens to be true). When my dad was alive he would agree with me.

Hurt feelings can ensue when people choose one friend over another or one child or a parent, etc. I’m grateful that God doesn’t do that. Sometimes it may seem because of our circumstances that God is choosing to bless one person over the other. It’s been my experience that His love holds no bounds and His love is intense. The more I put into the relationship the more I’ll get out.

We judge Him by our circumstances. He gets blamed for the all the bad in the world. God is good and He loves me – this I know.

Not everyone will be our close confidants. We don’t have to wear our hearts on our sleeves. We will always have deep relationships and those that aren’t but are friendly. People we work with don’t need to know our deepest darkest secrets. That’s not what I’m talking about here.

I want to go on record as saying, I’m sorry if I’ve ever hurt anyone’s feelings. If I made you feel less than. It was never my intention. My heart is that . . . You’re All My Favorites.

© Nadine Zawacki 2009

Over the Top

2009-10-24T17:10:00.001-04:00

My friend Scarlet gave me an award for having a blog that was Over the Top. Sweet. Thanks Scarlet. Part of the award is to answer the survey below (using one word answers).

Where is your cell phone? Pocket
Your hair? Frizzy
Your mother? Sweet
Your father? Deceased
Your favorite food? Seafood
Your dream last night? Forgetable
Your favorite drink? Latte
Your dream/goal? Writer
What room are you in? Office
Your hobby? Writing
Your Fear? Mice
Where do you want to be in 6 years? Hawaii
Where were you last night? Bed
Something that you aren’t? Pretentious
Muffins? Blueberry
Wish list item? MacBook
Where did you grow up? Brooklyn
Last thing you did? Clean
What are you wearing? Clothes
Your TV? Small
Your pets? None
Your friends? Considerate
Your life? Full
Your mood? Happy
Missing someone? Kids
Vehicle? Old
Something you’re not wearing? Shoes
Your favorite store? Apple
Your favorite color? Blue
When was the last time you laughed? Today
Last time you cried? Yesterday
Your best friend? Tom
One place that I go to over and over? WalMart
Person who emails me regularly? Tom
Favorite place to eat? Anthony’s

© Nadine Zawacki 2009

My Nemesis

2009-10-23T11:28:00.000-04:00

I enjoy games. Facebook has a game called Bejeweled Blitz. It takes one minute to play so it goes very fast and there is not much of a commitment. Yesterday a friend who plays the game had as his status on Facebook: Going to beat Nadine’s Bejeweled score if it’s the last thing I do.

It made me giggle because there are some of my friends that play the game and are very good. Every time I get a good score and I’m in the top 5, someone (my Bejeweled nemesis) comes along and beats my score. Actually there are about eight of them that do that, so I’m not naming names, but you know who you are . . . or do you?

Seriously it’s just my way of having fun. I laugh and sit there for the next twenty minutes trying to better my score.

Today, I’m sitting with Tom at the oncology office while he has his maintenance treatment of Rituxan. For the next two years, every six months for four weeks this will be what we go through. It’s not as severe as regular chemo treatments, but it does take up to six hours and it makes him really tired. The good news is that by the next day, he’s back to his normal self.

I love Tom . . . I hate cancer.

Since his diagnosis in 2005, we have taken this approach (or at least tried): Enjoy the good days, endure the bad, but keep moving forward. I know for Tom he doesn’t even think about cancer unless there is a doctor’s appointment or treatments.

My real nemesis is cancer. It is not a game, but real life. I hang on to the promises of God and hope for the future. We enjoy our time together. We treasure it. Even on days like these when I’m sitting next to him as he rests, I remind myself that God is good and He loves us.

Recently we picked up a plaque that had this saying on it:

Hope is the ability to hear the music of tomorrow: Faith is the courage to dance to it today.

May you all dance.

© Nadine Zawacki 2009

Happy Birthday to My Daughter

2009-10-21T09:48:00.002-04:00

I can’t believe my baby girl is 26 today. It wasn’t that long ago they were placing her in my arms for the first time. I tease her that I’m too young to be the mother of a 26 year old. I’ve been saying that since her 25th birthday. The truth of the matter is that I couldn’t be prouder to be her mother.

She’s smart, beautiful and kind. She was always smart as a young child. I remember when she was four years old and I made chocolate cake as a treat for dessert. I didn’t do this often, so she was really looking forward to it. We told her she had to finish her dinner before she could have a piece of cake. This was her response:

“My food compartment is full, but my dessert compartment is empty.”

Okay, she got major credit for using the word compartment at four years old and a piece of chocolate cake for using it correctly.

She calls us often and a smile always comes to my face when I hear her ringer on my phone.

I love you and my heart’s desire is to be with you today, but since I can’t I will have to give you extra hugs at Christmas.

© Nadine Zawacki 2009

I've always loved that picture of her and Tom.

Inspiration

2009-10-20T11:12:00.002-04:00

The dictionary defines the word inspiration as: a divine influence; action on a person believed to qualify him/her to receive and communicate sacred revelation; the action or power of moving the intellect or emotions or the act of influencing or suggesting opinion.

I’ve not been inspired in a while to write any blog posts. Why? I don’t know.

On my fan page on Facebook, I’ve been inspired daily. But those were little bursts of inspiration. Playing writing games have been lots of fun for me and those who participate.

Sometimes, I just need to slow down enough in order to put aside all the distractions so I can be inspired. I find when I stop to listen to what God has to say, I’m inspired. I get ideas and I’m able to express them in writing. Help me Lord to be more focused. My goal is to set time aside to be inspired.

So what inspires you?

© Nadine Zawacki 2009

I Want to Know What Love Is

2009-10-05T11:37:00.003-04:00

Last week my hubby was away at a conference. Every night there was some activity or another to keep me busy. I taught a class on dreams one night and ran the book club another. I had a couple of young gals come over for a movie and the ladies from our church went to pizza and a movie. One of the ladies called me for a mani/pedi and lunch. The week seemed to go very slowly even with all that activity.

Tom is home now and I’m glad to have him back. We did lots of Facebook flirting while he was gone as well as talk on the phone. If you are on Facebook with your husband, I highly recommend Facebook flirting. We wrote messages to each other and how much we missed each other. He even posted a love song on his page. I love him. I don’t mind telling the whole world.

Love after 31 years together gets stronger. I can honestly say I’m more in love with him now than I ever was. We are often mistaken for newlyweds when we are out. I think it’s the way we stare in each other’s eyes. When I want to know what love is, I look in Tom’s eyes. Not only do I see his love for me, but I see his love for God. It’s that love that gets us through the tough days and makes the good days great. It’s that love that grows and becomes stronger.

I hope you enjoy this video by Mariah Carey and the song Tom dedicated to me last week. Here’s the thing about this song – you can easily sing it to God as well as a loved one.

© Nadine Zawacki 2009

Birthday Week

2009-09-26T09:26:00.001-04:00

Yesterday was my birthday. I had a great day. Tom could not have been sweeter or more attentive if he tried. Before I get to that, let me tell you about birthday week. One of the ladies at church had a recent birthday and I noticed it was being celebrated for the whole week. Tom kept asking me what I wanted for my birthday and I kept coming up with a blank. It’s been hard for me to get excited about my birthday. It has nothing to do with age. I’m fine with my age. It had been a rough year. We sold our home that I loved, moved twice and had to deal with cancer again.

Having a week long celebration really helped. Tom made me some very special seafood dinners and was so sweet to me leading up to my birthday. I had shrimp scampi and Sicilian Seafood Stew. Yummy.

On my actual birthday he couldn’t have been more of a prince. He got up and came back from the store with: beautiful pink roses, a lovely card, my favorite Starbucks latte and a cream cheese bagel. We went to the movies. We saw Fame. I loved the original. The remake was okay, but my movie partner was handsome and charming. We bought some nice steaks, lobster tail and King Crab legs. That’s right he made me an incredible birthday dinner.

I had such a great day with Tom. My kids called. I got lots of birthday love on Facebook. I received a Happy Birthday text, lovely cards in the mail and even an e-card. I felt very loved and very special.

So if you find yourself not wanting to celebrate your birthday – make a week long event out of it. Trust me. If you love your birthday stretch it out for a week.

Thank you Tom for loving me and making me feel special.

© Nadine Zawacki 2009

Shiny Broken Pieces

2009-09-23T00:13:00.006-04:00

Today I have a guest blogger, my hubby Tom. I wanted to reprint this blog post he wrote. It spoke to my heart and I hope it speaks to yours.

Awoke at 3:00 AM, can't seem to sleep. Watched the season premier of House tonight. The main character is a brilliant but very broken physician. This episode opens up with our extremely gifted yet horribly flawed hero in a state mental institution... as a patent. The next two hours portrayed his journey to emotional honesty. The writers and actors did their jobs very well.

It made me think.

I'm broken too. I cover up my my brokenness effectively but that doesn't mean I'm whole, I'm not. I'm still broken. I've learned how to ignore my pain and how to coexist with my pain and even how to function at very high levels in spite of my pain. But none of these things, not one, has healed or removed my pain.

I could go on like this, broken yet functional, for a very long time and most would never know. Our culture is ill-equipped to deal with flawed leaders, the church even less then society. I have learned how to see the good in every circumstance and situation. When life has given me lemons I've used them to make very tasty sermon illustrations. I'm more entertaining but I'm still broken. Others are refreshed, heck, some are even inspired - but me, if I'm truly honest I have to admit, my pain still remains.

"Com' on Tom, count your blessings..." I do have many, much more than I deserve.

"Look at the lives you have touched..." Wow, more than I could ever have imagined, I'm humbled, eternally grateful - the lemonade has gone a long way, a very long way.

But about that pain...

Papa, two bouts of cancer have broken me in ways I can't begin to express. The physical toll, as expensive as it has been, is easily eclipsed by the emotional and spiritual. Please take all my fractured pieces. Some have been hidden away for a very long time. Others I have have kept well polished and as presentable as possible. I have no idea how to repair them, some don't seem to fit together any longer. I'm pretty sure that many just need to be replaced.

Papa, I offer you my heart, please be gentle, it's been through a lot and it's been broken for a very long time, thanks. Well, it's almost 4:30, I'm going back to bed and see if I can get a little more sleep, goodnight.

© Tom Zawacki 2009

Guilty Pleasure

2009-09-14T19:49:00.001-04:00

I am the first to admit that there are some shows I like to call “guilty pleasures.” Why do I call them that? Well, it’s because they may not be the “best” thing on television but I find pleasure in watching it anyway. One of those shows to my surprise is called, Drop Dead Diva. The premise is dumb and the acting is less than stellar but I find enjoyment in it anyway. The show is about a plus size lawyer who dies and goes to heaven the same time that a pretty blonde model does. The model pushes a button to go back to earth and ends up in the body of the plus size lawyer. She retains her memories but is now suddenly very smart. I told you it was a dumb premise.

This past week the show was about the lawyer going into a fancy boutique to buy a dress she saw advertised. The problem came when the store didn’t carry anything above a size 10. She was treated “less than” because of her size and asked to leave. Being a lawyer she naturally sued them.

It reminded me of something that happened when I my daughter was visiting. We went to the mall. I was wearing my Wal-Mart special jeans, shirt and sneakers. My hair was up and I had very little make-up. I was comfortable. We were in Lord & Taylor. We passed by the fur coat area and I walked in to take a better look. A man came out from the back, took one look at me and when right back from which he came. I remembered feeling “less than.” I so wanted to have a Pretty Woman moment. I wanted to go buy a very expensive fur coat somewhere else, come back and let that man know he “blew it.”

Maybe I like the show because I have had a problem with my weight my whole life. There have been times when I was thin but mostly I shop in that “plus size” section of the store.

Whether I lose weight or not doesn’t matter. What matters is - do I feel good about who I am as a person? Am I less intelligent because of the section of the store I shop? Am I nicer? Am I less than because I can’t afford a fur coat? No. Hey, don’t get me wrong I would love to lose weight and afford that fur coat. But this I know, neither one defines who I am. I have a man who loves me and tells me everyday I am beautiful. That is worth more than money or a size 10 pair of jeans.

This particular guilty pleasure allowed me to take a look at myself and realize that I like me. I am blessed. How many guilty pleasures can you say that about?

© Nadine Zawacki 2009

Always Remember

2009-09-11T08:49:00.005-04:00

This is the first time since 9/11 we are living back in New York. I remember watching the coverage on television while living in Washington state. I couldn't believe my eyes. My heart ached at the thought of the lost of life. The pain for the family members who were unsure of the fate of their loved ones. My niece worked across the street and saw the plane go into the building. We were worried until we heard she was okay late in the day. We were blessed that she was not hurt. Tom lost a childhood friend, a fireman who even though was off duty went into the tower to help.

Today, FOX news showed footage from that day. It felt real again. It felt different being in New York remembering it. There were thousands of lives lost - not only in New York, but in the Pentagon and Pennsylvania.

I remember the innocent and the brave that were lost. I pray for those they left behind as they grieve the loss of their loved ones.

Sam the Bellhop

2009-09-10T10:51:00.001-04:00

This was very cute. I thought you all would like it. He uses a whole deck of cards as he tells a story about Sam the Bellhop.

Driving

2009-09-05T13:27:00.001-04:00

We have traveled quit a bit since we moved to New York. Our family lives closer, but it still takes sometimes hours to visit them. We went to Boston for a conference and Pennsylvania for a doctor visit recently.

This is what I noticed.

Motorcycle drivers think the dotted line in the road is their own private lane. It makes me nuts when they speed by between two cars. The fact that this is very dangerous doesn’t seem to faze them.

When we drove through the town of Bloomsburg, PA on Route 11 there are warning signs. As Tom and I were driving he read one: “Caution, watch for aggressive drivers.” I thought he was kidding when he no sooner spoke those words a lady was tailgating us. This was a two way road with no place to pass. Tom was doing the speed limit but she didn’t seem to care nor had the ability to read the following signs: “Do not tailgate.” “Follow at least two dots beyond.” The dots on the road are markers for drivers. She was half a dot behind us and stayed that way until we turned off the road.

I understand why they had so many signs on that road. They should also post police cars to catch the violators. No one seemed to be paying attention to the millions of signs on the road.

Maybe I’ve become soft. I’ve not lived here in 16 years but I’ve managed to drive across the country not once but twice, yet I will not drive outside of Long Island. Why? The people on the road are nuts. They speed. They weave like it was the Indy 500. They ride your bumper.

Here’s the crazy thing. Sixteen years ago, I didn’t notice the difference. I was right at home and could weave with the best of them. Things change. I’ve come to realize that I will get there when I get there. I leave early enough to allow for traffic even though that’s hard to judge. I guess don’t feel the urgent need for speed. I’ve realized that I’ll get there whether the traffic tries to slow me down or other drivers cut me off.

God gets me to where I’m going. I prefer to move at His pace. Granted, His pace sometimes feels like its supersonic and other times feels like I’m crawling. When I’m on His road I’ll get there. I’ll the driving to Him.

© Nadine Zawacki 2009