moonlit-butterflies.net

To Ryan with Love

2009-07-18T18:35:00.002-04:00

I snapped this photo with my web cam this morning to send to Ryan in a Motomail. Thankfully Motomail seems to be functioning properly again now so I've been able to start typing one up for him on a daily basis instead of being lazy with handwritten letters that take weeks to get there. He can theoretically get a Motomail within 24 hours of my writing it. And I'm much less lazy about typing. Heh.

I feel exceptionally pregnant today. My stomach has really started to grow in the last few weeks, and it's making it all so much more real. What's surreal is knowing I only have about 11 weeks left of having Anya inside my belly kicking me repeatedly. And then she'll be on the outside and be a fixture in our lives forever. And soon it will feel like she was always here, and we'll wonder how we ever lived without her.

When Ryan called Thursday he talked about how he's looking forward to struggling with the car seat and diaper bag, changing diapers, and late night feedings. Because all of those things are amazing for him to think about in comparison to not being here for any of her first weeks of life and the milestones she will already reach before he comes home. He's so softhearted, and I love him very much for all his mushy, romantic ways. He's going to be an amazing father to our little girl.

Sleepless in the 3rd Trimester

2009-07-18T10:03:00.002-04:00

Sleeping is becoming less and less comfortable. I toss and turn a lot at night trying to find the position that is just right. But every time I wake up to go pee - which is a lot - that position is no longer the one that does it for me so I have to start all over. It's annoying. Not mention all the ninja-ing Anya does inside my womb for half of the night. I love my soon-to-be-daughter but geez. I'm going to lose enough sleep after she's born; I just want to stock up now.

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Looking for outdoor furniture?

<3

2009-07-17T19:24:00.002-04:00

I heard from Ryan yesterday which was amazing as always. He was very mushy and sweet which made me feel all warm and fuzzy. <3 I apparently have several very long letters on their way to me full of mushiness. Yay! At least I have those to look forward to in between phone calls. As of next week this deployment is 1/3 over! As long as it doesn't get extended. Which I'm really hoping doesn't happen because I'm losing my mind as it is without my other half. Especially knowing I have twice as much time to get through before it's over as I've already trudged through. Ugh.

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Pressure washers, anyone?

Missing My Best Friend

2009-07-15T20:53:00.003-04:00

I've been doing well with staying a step ahead in my online speech class. Go me. I'm proud. Let's hope I can stay on top of it. I need to get in the habit of being more motivated about this online class in preparation for the four or five I'll have starting in August so this is good for me. And it really is the only productive thing I have to do during the day. Not having a class to go to on campus is actually making me go a little stir crazy because I don't have a reason to leave the house ever. I try to combine any trips to get what groceries I need for myself here at my parents' house with other random errands to avoid unnecessary trips and excess gasoline usage. So that happens maybe once a week. Ugh. I'm going to lose my mind without Ryan here to entertain me.

He's been gone over three months now. It's a substantial chunk of time, but we still have so much further than that to go which makes me feel so bleh about life in general. I've been pretty upbeat and gotten through these past few months with relative ease, but the length of this separation is really starting to get to me now. I suppose because it's been so much time, but we still haven't reached the downhill point of being halfway done either. So it feels like it's going to be forever before I see him again. And that makes me sad. And lonely. And fills me with dread at the thought of how much boredom I have to endure between now and then.

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I suppose someone out there somewhere needs a San Jose motorcycle accident attorney.

28 Weeks

2009-07-14T20:24:00.006-04:00

I'm heading out to see the midnight showing of the newest Harry Potter film tonight with Kesha. I'm insane, I know. But I figure I should enjoy it because my days of midnight showings will soon be over and replaced with midnight feedings. Haha. But that's okay because Anya will so be worth it. <3

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Need Frontline? Gotta' protect our four-legged loved ones.

Retail Therapy of the Infant Apparel Variety

2009-07-13T20:18:00.003-04:00

My speech class officially began today, but as of right now I'm actually a little bit ahead of the game and am working on getting a lot ahead of the game. I want to make my life a little easier with my upcoming trip to Jacksonville and all of the errands that will entail. Then the baby shower. Then getting what baby stuff I don't already have after the shower. Then getting everything ready for Anya's arrival while starting four to five online classes for the college in Jacksonville. So getting my assignments done early and having them off of my list of things to stress about definitely won't hurt. Speaking of stress, I relieved some today during a mini baby stuff shopping spree. I couldn't resist the buy one get one 50% off sale going on at Babies 'R' Us right now on Carter's brand infant clothing. It's all so adorable!

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Anyone in the market for horse supplies? Living in an apartment kind of limits my ability to have animals such as horses, goats...you know, the usual farm fodder.

Hair Decisions, Old and New

2009-07-12T19:18:00.004-04:00

So I had my bangs pulled back in barrettes yesterday, as I'm prone to do when my hair is down to keep them out of my face, when Shelby decided she wanted to look like me. How cute is this?

Not as cute are the 10 million different colors in my hair from all the different highlights and attempts to dye my hair back brunette but apparently failing to get my actual natural color over the past couple of years. Ay, ay, ay, am I ever going to need some help in that department once Anya is here. And I need a trim. My dead ends are starting to bug me. It's finally long enough to cut some off without thwarting my ability to put it into a ponytail. I'll probably schedule a trim when I get back from Jacksonville at the end of the month. I'm just not sure if I want to have side swept bangs cut back out or not. Right now my bangs are as long as my face - hence the barrettes. Decisions, decisions.

27 Weeks

2009-07-10T19:06:00.002-04:00

I am seriously feeling pregnant now. Getting comfortable enough to sleep is a battle every night...and then I have to get up to pee like a milliondy times. My evening walks are getting easier as far as being in better shape, but my belly is making it difficult not to waddle instead of speed walk. Haha. But she is so worth it. : ) I've been doing really well with walking almost 2 miles about 3 to 5 times a week. I've noticed a difference in how I feel and I think, though my belly is growing, that my thighs are shrinking. I couldn't walk last night because it rained, and I'm socializing with the mother-in-law tonight instead of walking like I should be. Oh well. I'll make up for it another time.

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Free term life insurance quotes?

Bleh

2009-07-07T10:56:00.004-04:00

I feel like crap today. I'm not sure if it's the trouble I've been having sleeping or the fact that I have to give part of my group's presentation in class today, but I'm just not with it. Luckily the presentation is the only thing really on my agenda today. I got a lot of errands done yesterday. I found out that I can indeed attend online classes for the college in Jacksonville...but I have to register in person as they do not have online registration. Heh.

So I've reserved my hotel and will be heading out on July 27th to stay for a few days and get that done as well as look into day cares for the Spring and get onto the priority list for our apartment complex so that I get first dibs when something becomes available for December. I could do the apartment stuff online, but I prefer to do all of that paperwork in person since they'll need proof of my power of attorney and a copy of Ryan's LES as his income is the one they'll need to approve.

But at least I can get all of that done in one trip - hopefully. We'll see about the day care. I'm a bit anxious about it, but I'm sure things will work out. They always do in some form or fashion.

Upcoming Events and To Do's

2009-07-05T19:06:00.006-04:00

The rest of this deployment is going to be go, go, go for me. Which is good in that time will go faster but bad in the amount of stress I'm probably going to have dealing with finances and deadlines to get things done. I was looking into the school I intend to attend in Jacksonville and discovered they only offer certain classes in certain semesters. Which means if I don't start working on the degree I want from there this Fall semester I might as well not start at all. I'm only going to be there for 2 years, and that's exactly how long this degree is going to take. It's only an Associates in Applied Science, but I'm taking a lighter course load each semester of only three to four classes in order to spend less money on daycare and more time at home with Anya.

Well, I'm obviously going to be here in Tennessee this upcoming semester. Luckily the three courses I need for the Fall are all offered online. So I've applied to the school and sent all of my transcript requests in the hopes that I can get accepted and registered in time to get into those slots and take those courses online from here. Unfortunately all three courses I need for the Spring semester are on campus only. Which is fine since I'm moving in December. But bad because I'll have to line up daycare from here to start right in the beginning of January for my 3 month-old. And with waiting lists and what-not I need to do it now and find something affordable with drop-in abilities for infants because I do not want her in full time day care. I want her raised by me not a day care facility, and I couldn't afford full time day care even if I wanted to work part-time. I couldn't make enough to pay for it. It's better to find by the hour day care and just attend my classes that way in between caring for Anya.

Now while all of the phone calls - and possibly a trip to Jacksonville this month to speak with a school adviser as well as the base day care facilities about my options - and fees this is going to incur are happening I also have to call the apartment complex Ryan and I are wanting to pay the deposits and get that all set up for a December move-in. With that comes getting together all of the information from the base to make sure everything is legit in Ryan's file as far as living off-base and no longer needing barracks or a meal card goes. So that he can actually come home with me when he gets home. Otherwise he'll be getting off the bus and be forced to stay in the barracks with roommates and curfews until we get the paperwork done. Definitely better that I take my power of attorney and get it done now.

Meanwhile, I'm waiting until my tiny, mostly family baby shower is over later this month to go out and buy all of the last baby items which are still going to cost a good chunk of change as I mostly just have clothes and furniture but none of the health/safety or day-to-day items necessary. And paying off my student loan - which will be paid off as of the first paycheck in August! While that's awesome, it's also a lot of money every paycheck that I don't have available to me until then since I've been paying 10 times the amount required on my payments - literally - to take advantage of paying it off while Ryan was away and we had no rent or anything to pay. And I just bought the newer Buick which needs new tires, struts, shocks, and an alignment to be on the safe side before I start driving it 8 hours one way to North Carolina. Did I mention I'd probably be doing that this month? Ah!

And then in August, alongside finishing up all of that and the baby purchases, my summer school classes at ETSU will end just in time for my online classes at the North Carolina community college to begin - assuming I get in and am allowed to do them from here. And keep me busy between setting up the appointments and paying the deposits in advance for all of my North Carolina utilities, as I'd rather just get it all done now and not worry about it come moving time. And while I'm busy worrying about the expenses of deposits, diapers, and getting base paperwork done October is going to arrive and with it Anya will be born.

So then I have to contact the base about getting all of her paperwork done as a dependant of Ryan to make sure we get our higher allowances for food and housing as well as having it all legit in the system. And I have to do the normal paperwork of getting her social security card, birth certificate, etc. And Kieran is due for his second vet appointment of the year for some shots and more heart worm medication - all of which is my responsibility now. And by the time I get all of that done I'll have to start reserving the U-Haul and everything for the move and set up to stop having my storage building. And then it will be December, and the holidays will have begun. There will be family here and celebrations to be had...mere days later my parents, siblings, and I will be packing the contents of my room and the storage building into the U-Haul and driving the 8 hours to Jacksonville with Kieran and Anya in tow.

And then it will be January within days of my move, and I'll have to put Anya in daycare and start my on campus classes at the community college while getting the apartment all cozy and preparing for Ryan's homecoming which will be not too long after that - hopefully. And all of that doesn't begin to touch on all of Anya's and my doctor's appointments between now and then as well as the process of changing to doctors in Jacksonville, most likely at the Navy Hospital on base. And changing Kieran's vet. And getting Ryan's gear unpacked and organized and getting all of the stuff he's destroyed or needs more of that I can see from what he left here bought so he has it for work when he gets home. And getting my new car decaled for base access. And getting our living room furniture - the only thing I haven't gotten ahead of time and do not have room for in the storage building. And making sure we have enough money saved to buy Ryan a newer vehicle immediately after he arrives home. And sticking with my exercise program. And hopefully sticking with studying my Japanese - which I have failed at so far - as well as starting to at least learn some chords and tabs on my fabulous Hello Kitty guitar.

All I know is, Ryan and I both deserve some respect and appreciation from each other after this deployment. It's been hard for him, but anyone who's read this entire blog can see that I've got my fair share of stresses and responsibilities to worry about. I will need some serious Ryan love by the time he gets home. Things are about to get crazy around here. Time to take a deep breath and get started.

Feeling Lonely

2009-07-04T21:36:00.002-04:00

Going to the movies by yourself is like the most depressing thing you could ever do. Heh. I went to see Public Enemies this afternoon after making my Wal-Mart run. I texted several people throughout the day, but when I asked if they were interested in seeing the movie...they just stopped texting me back. Gotta' love those fake friends. Ugh. I hate people.

The movie was decent, but I expected some serious wow after the previews. So I'm kind of sad about that. But there were some previews for a couple of comedies and romantic comedies coming out this year that look good. Yay! I'll probably end up seeing those alone, too. Because such is my life without my Ryan - he really is my best friend and one of very few true friends I have. Am I that dislikeable or something? Nevermind. Don't answer that.

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Anyone looking into all natural fat burners?

Of Postage and Pink Lemonade

2009-07-04T11:24:00.002-04:00

So Ryan called yesterday which made my day. : ) Hopefully the lesser wait time between phone calls is a permanent change, though nothing is every permanent in the Marine Corps. Semper Gumby is the way of life. (Semper means always, and Gumby is just a personification of flexible. Always Flexible. It's a play on the Marine Corps motto Semper Fi, which means Always Faithful. Though we're that, too.) I've just kind of gotten used to it all. I'm actually going shopping for care package fillers this afternoon. Ryan said to send fewer packing peanuts and more goodies. Heh. So I'll see what I can do about that without breaking the bank considering I send a package every single week. I use flat rate boxes, but I still have to pay for all of the stuff I put into them.

As my late grandmother would say, I have had a hankering for pink lemonade for days now! I keep running out to the local gas station to pick up a couple bottles of Minute Maid when I make my daily trip to the post office to mail Ryan's letters. I'll have to see about buying some in bulk when I head out this afternoon. I also need to finish my group's web design project for class, but I've almost got that covered. We aren't meeting until Monday to put all of the final touches on - most of which I'll probably have already added - so I'm not stressing about it. I just have to make up some filler text to showcase the design so I'm being lazy about hunting down stuff to copy and paste to take up that space. I want it to have something to do with the content so that makes it take a little bit of work. Enough to make me keep putting it off. And then I have to get assignments done for my speech class that starts week after next because apparently we have a bunch of stuff due by the first day of class. Nice. Guess that's what I get for taking it online.

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Dansko apparently has something to do with shoes?

Purchases that Make Me Happy

2009-07-03T11:30:00.004-04:00

I think I might have actually found the workout VHS tapes I've been using and loving forever on DVD from a European website. Ah! I couldn't find them anywhere. I was beginning to think they didn't make a DVD version. But instead of four tapes there are only 2 DVD's combining two of the areas on each disc. So I ordered them and am extremely excited to get them and make sure they are indeed DVD's after having so much trouble finding them anywhere else. I can finally start toning my saggy rear. I know, bad imagery, but if you've even been pregnant and had stretch marks literally coming out of your arse you would understand the burning desire to find these DVD's and get to use them daily. The VHS tapes were in storage - good luck finding them in a timely manner in there - and I knew it was only a matter of time before my old VCR crapped out. I would be stuck without my wonderful tapes. I was trying to get myself to understand that I'd just have to find something else. But nothing else seemed as awesome. So I'm a happy Erika today.

I'll just modify the workouts to ensure everything is safe for Baby...er...Anya. Geez, I'm still just calling her Baby. She's going to end up like the main character in Dirty Dancing when Baby becomes her permanent nickname if I don't stop. Poor child. Anya, Anya, Anya. Would be a shame to waste such a beautiful name just to call her Baby because I can't break the habit.

My new decal for my car came today. Yay! I'd already put the one I had on the old Buick when it died so I was deeply saddened about that. But now all is well because I have a new one! I'm a proud USMC wifey. : )

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Total Merchant Services? Whatever that entails.

This is where browsing the infant section of Wal-Mart gets me...

2009-07-02T18:34:00.002-04:00

And yay for Babies 'R' Us having a 15% sale when I went to get a breast pump. Because, geez, are the decent ones ever expensive! At least I've been gifted several things including monitors. And yet I still feel like I'm getting nowhere on my 'Stuff for Baby' list...

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I'm so over mentioning diet pills.

26 Weeks

2009-07-02T10:44:00.003-04:00

I did like a mini-photoshoot so I could have some decent photos to send to Ryan in Afghanistan. : ) For those who do not keep up with my Twitter updates on the left, I got a phone call from him on Monday! Only one week in between calls this time. Here's hoping it's a new pattern. I got a long letter from him today which was so nice. He never writes long letters - or letters period. He's a slow, sloppy writer. : P So it means a lot when he writes anything mushy for me. I know it takes him some time and effort.

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Anyone looking for a diet supplement?

Dear Ryan

2009-06-29T12:36:00.003-04:00

Have I said lately how much I love my husband? Because I love him very, very much. I'm so extremely proud of him and the sacrifices he is making to fight for this country. I'm making my own set of sacrifices, but I know missing our life together, especially Anya's birth, is so much harder on him than anything I could be going through here in the comforts of home. I still have my family, movie theaters, fast food, and Wal-Mart. He has only MRE's to eat and posts to stand while waiting and hoping to get care packages from me filled with Mt. Dew, snacks that have become treats, new razor blades to replace all of his dull ones, and fresh socks to make him feel a little more human. He constantly hopes for letters filled with news of Anya and pictures of me to get him through the long hours of standing post trying not to think too much about what he's missing because men aren't allowed to cry.

And then he blows that when he gets to hear my voice for the first time in weeks and can no longer hold back the tears that have been building with each snippet of news on the kicks in my belly that he can't feel or the baby furniture I bought that he can't assemble. His fellow Marines laugh, but he's beyond caring. He misses us too much to care about his composure at this point. He just wants to be home to experience it all with me. But instead he's doing what he signed up to do: fighting to protect his family and his country so that we can stay free. And even though it's hard, it's worth it to him to be doing this. And that is why I love my idealistic, hopeless romantic husband so very much. Because he loves this country enough to sacrifice his own desires to protect it. And because he loves me enough to cry on the phone even if it means being a joke to many of his fellow Marines for the next little while. I love that I'm worth that much to him. I miss you, Babe. Stay safe. I love you more with each passing day even when we have to be separated by duty.

Feeling Down

2009-06-28T13:09:00.004-04:00

I'm feeling incredibly depressed today. Just mopey and unmotivated to do much of anything. I was doing so well on the motivation front, too. I think I just feel overwhelmed. I have all these creative projects for myself that I want to accomplish before Ryan's homecoming, apartment furniture to buy before moving, baby stuffs to buy before the due date, and exercising to do before I become a lard. I think it feels overwhelming because even though it isn't a lot, I can't really do most of it all at once. I have to wait to be able to afford furniture and the last few big baby items. I can't find exercise videos I like to add to my walking routine. I don't really feel like I have the space to spread out my craft projects and do them to the best of my ability. Just ugh. Somebody motivate me, please. I hate feeling all mopey and unproductive like this.

I think a lot of it has to do with missing Ryan. He's been gone almost 3 months. The longest we've been apart was during basic training. At the end of 3 months boot camp was over, and we were together again for a while. But this time he's not coming home. This deployment isn't even 1/3 of the way over yet. We have a long way to go. And that definitely depresses me. I just want a Ryan hug. : ( But I have to get over it and motivate myself to keep pushing forward. The less mopey I am the better I'll feel and the faster the remaining time will go. I was feeling all good about it for a while there. I just need to get back in my zone...whatever that may be.

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Mesothelioma treatment?

Robots that are Insults in Disguise?

2009-06-25T15:30:00.007-04:00

So there's this article on MSN.com about how two certain robot characters on the new Transformers sequel fit a racist stereotype for comic relief. Are you freaking kidding me? Ryan and I have had this discussion several times when we're feeling deep and philosophical. This has nothing to do with skin color and everything to do with a culture. Yes, initially this culture was limited to those of African-American decent and hence the stereotype, but today it's a culture shared by African-Americans, Asian-Americans, Caucasians, and Latin-Americans alike. And probably several other diverse racial groups.

This kind of 'belittling', as they are just short of calling it, is not aimed at those of African-American decent but at the culture that started with an African-American majority way back when. That is no longer the case, however, and I really wish people would get off of their high horse about how it's all about 'putting the black man down'. Because it's not. It's one of the cultures that some African-Americans are a part of that we find comical simply because this specific culture, honestly, can seem a little ridiculous to those of us who aren't a part of it. Doesn't Hollywood just as often use the culture of those who thrive in a world of suburbia as comical relief? Couldn't that be seen as a jab at white people? Or the mocking of "mountain people" from the South, who are also usually portrayed as whites? What about that? Do I complain about that? No. I laugh. Because it's funny. I'm Southern, and I still think it's hilarious. Because it is not aimed at my skin color or the fact that I am from the South, but it is instead a joke about the culture that many people from the South seem to share that is funny in certain Hollywood contexts.

The robots are funny. That was their entire point. It's not an attempt to put down any one racial group. It was a jab at a culture. And I think everyone needs to laugh about it and move on. In face, those that share that culture should laugh the hardest because they understand it even more. And I know anytime I hear a joke involving military life or Southerners, I laugh harder than anyone around me. Because it's funnier when you know someone who acts exactly like that from your high school or who lives two houses down or is even in your own family. No one is trying to insult African-Americans by mocking a culture. Laugh and get over it. Laughing at yourself is the best way to show confidence in who you are exactly the way you are in whatever culture you may be a part of, regardless of your race.

And on that note, I'm going to see Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen this evening. : )

25 Weeks

2009-06-25T11:40:00.003-04:00

I had my glucose test this morning which was nothing compared to what everyone was making it out to be. The drink tasted like a funky Sunkist, and they waited an hour to take a couple of vials of blood. Big whoop. The worst part of the drink was the aftertaste, but I chugged it and didn't have the chance to experience the aftertaste until the drink was completely gone. So it wasn't so bad. I lived without being traumatized too horribly.

I have gained 13 pounds since this pregnancy began. Which is right on track but still saddening. Guess it's a good thing I've started exercising more regularly. I'm going to need the stamina to hit the workouts hard after Anya arrives. But I'm motivated. And determined to be in even better shape than I was pre-pregnancy by the time Ryan comes home next year. I want to be awesome for his homecoming.

I have a mid-term in my Web Design class today, but I am not even concerned. I've already known pretty much everything we're being taught so the most I have to glance at before the test is what some of the acronyms stand for word for word. I'm just ready to get in there, take the test, and get out so I can go home, maybe scrapbook a little, and get my walk in. w00t! for me and my super motivated self!

Word from My Marine

2009-06-24T11:09:00.002-04:00

Yesterday I was pleasantly surprised when I received a small package in the mail from Ryan. It contained a small disk with a 1 minute video of him saying hello to Anya and myself. : ) It was made the day after I'd last heard from him by phone. He was very dirty from the sand, and his hair was getting a little long. But he was doing well.

Then on my way home from class yesterday afternoon I answered my cell phone to hear his voice on the other end! We were able to talk for almost an hour. Amazing. He misses me a lot. He was being made fun of because he was tearing up on the phone. <3 He made some care package requests and asked that I send him multiple letters every day so he has something to look forward to. I'd only been sending one or two a week so I suppose I've been slacking in that department up until now. But postage costs money so I was attempting to be frugal during all of this baby furniture buying.

He wants pictures of everything I'm getting for the baby and as many pictures of myself as I can stand to take. He's very busy and rarely has a chance to get to the phone hence the three week wait between phone calls. Though not hearing from him as frequently has made the time go by faster. Today I will be marking off the last day in the top row of dates on my weekly deployment countdown I made for my desk. I, of course, wish it were more, but it will be. Never soon enough, but the day he gets to come home will get here eventually. Time passes at the same rate no matter how fast or slow it feels at the time. When the day comes I'll be thinking it wasn't so bad, and it went by fairly quickly. But right now it feels like torture.

The Land of Pink

2009-06-22T12:10:00.003-04:00

I've been raiding the pink-ridden baby departments of every store I go into lately. Just picking up little things like white onesies and receiving blankets in preparation for Baby. The only big item I have left to buy is a jogging stroller so I can not be a lard after she arrives. I can take her with me while I sweat off all the weight she made me gain. : P Plus knowing I spent the kind of money a jogging stroller costs will be a motivator to actually get out there and, well, jog.

Going on three weeks without any word from Ryan. No news is good news, but I miss him. And I want to tell him about the car and all the adorable pinkess I've purchased in some way other than letter form. Seriously, I have enough pink to kill someone in here. It's mostly clothing and accessories so it's all tucked away in drawers, but geez. I love me some pink, but I think I might be on the verge of ridiculous. Poor Ryan. At least I had my family order bigger items they're gifting like the swing and pack 'n' play in a brightly colored random animals theme that would be more gender neutral. I want to be able to reuse the more expensive items with future children, boy or girl. And those items will be in the main living space. So at least I'm attempting to corral the pink into the nursery where Ryan doesn't have to be constantly surrounded by it. Cause I'm pretty sure even I'd start to hate pink if I had to have all of this stuff in my living room.

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Anyone looking into computer memory?

Baby Panda Sneeze of Doom

2009-06-20T23:03:00.000-04:00

24 Weeks

2009-06-17T16:01:00.002-04:00

I think it's pretty amazing that I'm still mostly wearing my normal clothes at 6 months pregnant. Yeah. I'm feeling pretty awesome about that. It bodes well for me when it comes time to shed the baby weight this winter. It kind of sucks to have to lose baby weight in the winter because your options for activity are severely impeded. But I'll make it happen! I want to be teh hawtness when Ryan comes home.

I really wish it would stop raining every single day. Rain is good and all, but I haven't taken my usually daily 2 mile walk since Sunday. And I can just feel the fatness creeping up on me. T-T I might have to break down and use my parents' treadmill. I hate doing that, though, because I just get so bored on the treadmill and end up quitting early and feeling like poo about it. Walking outside seems to go by faster and is a little more enjoyable for some reason. Maybe because the scenery actually changes. Heh.

I haven't heard from Ryan in over two weeks. This is officially the longest I have gone without some sort of contact. I'm not freaking out or anything. No news is good news. But I do miss him, and I hate having made decisions about things like the car without being able to tell him anything about it. I sent him a Motomail, but there's no telling when he'll get it. And I'm unable to know his reaction when he reads it so I'm scared he'll be upset or angry - or at the very least disappointed. And if he's actually happy about it, then I would like to know! Ugh! But as long as he's alive, safe, and well, nothing else matters right now. I'll hear from him when he gets the opportunity. He never misses a chance to contact me.

Buick Upgrade

2009-06-15T20:49:00.002-04:00

So Ryan's 1997 Buick Century has begun to fall apart completely. As if it isn't already bad enough that the gold car has one green door and a black fender from repairs after Ryan's accident in early 2008, the air conditioner died. I had it recharged twice and a hole patched one of those times only for it to quit again a day later each time. So now it looks like we'd have to replace a several hundred dollar part which still might not be the entire problem. At this point I'd be putting almost a grand in the car plus whatever it would cost to fix the cosmetics which I'd been hoping to do this summer. It has gotten to the point where it is more cost effective to buy a newer car.

As a result, I am now the proud owner of a white 2001 Buick Century with half the mileage whose air conditioning works like a champ and whose doors and fenders are all the same color. I got the car pretty cheap so I don't feel like we're killing ourselves financially and should still be able to easily afford a little nicer family car when Ryan returns home. But at least I've replaced his Buick that he would have had to drive to work with an updated model that isn't about to disintegrate around us. And I'll feel safe driving myself and Baby around in this car until Ryan comes home to claim it. Now to put a decent radio in it...

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Anyone looking for good fat burners?

23 Weeks

2009-06-14T14:55:00.002-04:00

I'm posting it a bit late, but here I am at 23 weeks pregnant. Next week I'll be hitting the 6 month mark! Crazy. I'm beginning to get a little apprehensive about labor and delivery without Ryan. I know having him there would make things so much easier for me in terms of dealing with the pain and panic. I tend to freak out a lot when I don't know what to expect or how to deal with something. As of right now I'm looking at having at least my mother in there with me, but I'm kind of super self-conscious and private so I'm not sure what I really want to do. She's gone to all of my appointments with me up to this point, though. I'm guessing Ryan's mom will want to be there, but I'm not sure I'm comfortable with that. I'm thinking she'll be relegated to the waiting room because I just don't want to be worried about who is seeing what when I should just be concentrating on experiencing the birth of my child. Ugh. I'll have to figure it all out and try not to hurt too many feelings in the process. But in the end it's my decision, and everyone else can just deal with it or be mad for a very long time.