pioneer parenting

Shutting down this blog

2008-01-04T10:42:00.000-08:00

Dear Pioneer Parenting Blog Folk,

After careful consideration and lots of stress, I've decided to streamline my life a little by taking things off my plate. One of those things is this blog. I'll still be writing about pioneer parenting over at my other blog, so be sure to earmark that blog here. Thanks for your faithful comments. You've been a blessing to me.

Warmly,
Mary

Tomorrow I'll be on Moody Midday Connection

2007-11-12T14:28:00.000-08:00

Read all about it here. Find a station here. When? Tuesday from 12--1. Pray for me, that I'll speak encouraging words to moms and dads and families.

You Can Rise Above

2007-11-10T10:47:00.001-08:00

Here's an anonymous story I thought might bless you:

My mom was "found dead" in her home four years ago, after a heart attack at 78. (I called the police to check on her after she didn't answer the phone over a period of several hours. She had probably been dead two days.) I had been able to love Mom well in the last couple years of her life, so her death wasn't a huge trauma, but a mother's death isn't an easy thing.

My parents were Christians, but a sense of love was in many ways missing in my home. And I heard time and time again that people are more or less doomed to repeat family dynamics, or to go the other way and be just as extreme the other way. I didn't want either, but Christian after Christian (books, radio shows, individuals) said the same thing, and basically said people were fooling themselves if they thought they could step very far out of family patterns, unless it was to swing 180 degrees in the opposite direction and be just as bad the opposite way.

One day I was partaking of communion at church, and I looked up at the stained-glass cross behind the pulpit in my church. Suddenly it came to me--"proof" that all the experts are wrong, that one is not destined to repeat the same patterns. "If Jesus' death on the cross isn't big enough to deal with family sins, then Jesus isn't who the Bible says He is. He's big enough to deal with these issues too!"

Praise God, He's big enough.

Great Review:

2007-11-07T09:47:00.000-08:00

Five Stars
Parenting advice for a difficult world., October 25, 2007
By Christina Lockstein "book addict" (Oconto Falls, WI USA) - See all my reviews

Authentic Parenting in a Postmodern Culture by Mary DeMuth tackles the tough issue of how to parent in our changing world. How do we teach our children about truth and God in this pluralistic world? DeMuth gives lots of wonderful advice on how to bring our family back home where it belongs and support each other. She discusses different ways to worship and show your children not only to find God on their own but also to encourage others in their path. Postmodernism is such a difficult subject to define, but she handles it with grace and intelligence. She encourages parents to become more active in their children's lives and to bring thought to how we interact with them, God, and the world. DeMuth and her husband moved their three children to France, and she shares their struggles to fit in an atheistic society. She shows their efforts, warts and all, to illustrate how we and our children can thrive in this new world. It's a great, solid parenting resource.

The Beauty and Rarity of the Family Dinner

2007-10-31T13:08:00.001-07:00

My friend Author Trish Berg writes a lovely post over at her blog about making family dinners a priority. You can read her informative and helpful post here.

Contradictions in Kids

2007-10-28T18:57:00.000-07:00

Kids are a contradiction, aren't they?

My sweet, sweet son reminds me of the son tonight on Extreme Home Makeover--a boy who loves his mommy so much, he'd build us a solar panel to keep us safely warm. Like his father, he's terribly and wonderfully responsible.

Over the past few months, he's becoming a man. Almost as tall as me, and wearing men's sizes, he's decided he wants to raise money for wells in Africa. He is meeting with two men from our church this week, to figure out which country he'd like to adopt. He's placed a globe piggy bank on our table so we can start donating to the cause.

This weekend he volunteered at our church's harvest festival. I was so sure he would want to hang around after he was done, to take in all the fun. Secretly, I wanted to go home. I've been battling some sort of flu-ish thing. To my surprise, he was content to leave. "I want to do that more," he said. "I want to volunteer again. I loved it."

But then tonight, we asked him to wash the pans. He dawdled so long that I threw my hands to the ceiling and said to go to bed. I'll do them. He's a man, nearly, but he's also a dawdling boy who hates dishes nearly as much as I do.

Which makes parenting a difficult, but rewarding adventure: Praise him for his sweet heart and dedication to kids in Africa AND in Texas, but admonish him when he forgets to be diligent when dishes come his way.

Even so, I love that boy. Love him to death. And I can't wait to see what God will do in his life.

My Eldest Daughter's Faith-Infused Words

2007-10-23T05:55:00.001-07:00

My eldest daughter is blogging again. It's been fun to read her words, particularly when she writes entries like this:

Alas, yet another Monday. Allow me a moment to tie up my hair, I cannot think clearly with it in my face. There, that is better. I am like Violet in The Series of Unfortunate Events, I always tie up my hair. Except, I don't invent inventions (no pun intended) or anything, I (try) to weave words. But enough about me, let us see what I can salvage out of my Bible.

But my life is worth nothing unless I use it for doing the work assigned to me by the Lord Jesus-the work of telling others the Good News about God's wonderful kindness and love.Acts 20: 24 (NLT)Wow. I mean WOW!! There is my mission statement for High School right there in black and white. My life is worth NOTHING unless I am sharing God's kindness and love by telling the Good News. And let me tell you, it is hard. Persecution, devastation, being ignored, all of these come with it but it is SO worth it! There are some people out there telling you being a Christian is all "fun and games" or that you'll have a "healthy and wealthy" life. Sorry but no. No, no, NO! All wrong there buster.

We are called to live like Jesus, not just the pretty stuff but the ugly stuff too. I mean, Stephen was stoned to death for his faith. STONED TO DEATH!! Picture that for ONE second! I could go on and on but that would be boring. I can tell you that I struggle with it too, it's not just you. Sharing God's love in this fallen world is NOT easy, but it is possible.

I think I am done raving on about that now.

Mumless but okay

2007-10-15T07:02:00.000-07:00

It's been an interesting weekend for our family.

On Friday was our daughter's first high school Homecoming game. That morning I went out with a friend for breakfast who asked me, "What kind of mum did you get your daughter?"

Mum? Then I remembered. Somewhere back in my memory tickled me. I learned about mums when we first moved to Texas, but had conveniently shoved that memory far back. After all, I was homeschooling Sophie at the time. She wouldn't need one.

All at once I felt like the worst mother on planet Texas. Growing up in Seattle where our homecoming week had no parades, no mums, not much hype, I was unprepared for Texas' affection for the mum. So I called Sophie, frantic. I pictured her walking the hallowed halls of her high school, mumless, cheerless, sad beyond measure that she had lame parents.

Personally, I thought these mums were actually a ploy by florists to make money. Some cost over 100 bucks (most!). I heard of one costing 350 dollars, more than my WEDDING DRESS! Even so, I worried about Sophie.

"Hi honey, are you okay?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Well, did you feel awkward or left out since you didn't have a mum?"

She laughed. "Oh mom, no! Not at all. I couldn't understand it all. Some of them touched the floor. Everywhere in our hallways, I heard cowbells. I didn't want one!"

Whew!

I'm thankful my daughter doesn't need to have a mum, that she's secure enough in herself to be okay without one.

Even so, I'll probably buy her an understated one next year.

Connecting with Jesus and Your Children Creatively

2007-10-12T14:29:00.000-07:00

I shudder at the words Quiet Time. Those two words have unwittingly heaped loads of guilt upon my desire to connect with God. Because of those words, I’ve believed that to know God deeply, I had to adhere myself to a series of spiritual lists. Read the Bible like an instruction manual. Dissect the Bible. Pray, but not too much about myself. Maybe sing. Write in a journal. Spend at least an hour, and of course it must be at 6 AM or it’s not sanctified.

But last year everything changed when I considered that I served a creative God who designed me to be creative. The God I serve fashioned the beauty of this earth with a word. Songwriter and recording artist Michael Card illuminates the amazing truth that we are God’s creation, designed to be creative:

“The Bible tells us that we are God’s masterpieces (poiema in Greek); not only creatures, but His creations, His poems (Eph 2:10). We are living epistles (2 Cor 3:3). And so, our lives are meant to be listened to, because it is God who is speaking into and out of and through the symphony of the years, and the masterpiece of a lifetime.”

If He is the Master, and we the masterpiece, why do we settle for rote methods to reach for Him? Why do we believe monotony is the way to His heart? Author Ken Gire said, ““We reach for God in many ways, through our sculptures and Scriptures. Through our pictures and our prayers. Through our writing and our worship. And through them, he reaches for us.”

Here are three creative, interesting ways we can reach for God beyond the Quiet Time.

Respond through Art

My friend Erin, one of the founders of SoulPerSuit (www.soulpersuit.com), started a revolution in my heart when she sent me one of her amazing art journals (a book full of small-scale art projects) as a gift. She’d been going through a move, so she decided to create artistic responses on the pages of a 5x7 inch journal as a reaction to all the changes she’d encountered. She cried out to God. She pasted house listings inside and wrote Scripture over them. She painted some of the pages and highlighted key verses God breathed to her during the tumult.

For the first time in a long time, I longed to connect to God, but this time through art. So I bought myself a cheap journal. When a verse touched me, I wrote it down, adding magazine pictures to illustrate it. I created several pages where I wrote simple words of prayer, words I could go back to and recognize God’s answer. When I worried about how many hats I was wearing, I placed different hat stickers all over one page and listed the hats. Seeing them all there helped me to realize I needed to trim down a few of my roles.

Connecting to God through art journals has revolutionized my time with Jesus. I look forward to it. I revel in discovering new Scriptures to illustrate in simple, stick-figured ways. When I’ve taught this to others, I’ve emphasized that one didn’t have to be an artist to create a highly personal, deeply spiritual art journal.

Ask God for a Word for the Year

Over the past few years during the month of January, I ask God to give me a word for the year. This word or verse shapes the way I walk through the year. It’s a small way to build deep anticipation into my heart as I wait on Him and then implement the word(s). Last year the words were “Joy in rest. Truth in love.” As things got difficult, I remembered to choose to rest and let God restore the joy in my heart. When painful relational difficulties threatened, I remembered the importance of being both truthful and loving.

This year the words He spoke to me are “Be comfortable in your own skin” and “Abundance.” I’m learning the joy of being happy with how God made me. And I’m learning to go to Jesus for abundance, where He fills me up with rivers of living water. Those words to me help me shape my year. They help focus me as I search the Scriptures this year.

Be a Statue

Michaelangelo said this about one of his statues: “I saw the angel in the marble and I carved until I set him free.” Sometimes we’re so busy trying to recreate ourselves or micromanaging our own relationship with God that we forget He is the divine Carver. Why not shift your thinking? Consider yourself His masterpiece. Trust in His chipping away.Determine not to grab God’s tools, but trust that He sees beauty in you like no one else can. Choose today to connect with God as your skilled Sculptor, One who pursues your best, chips away at the rough spots, until freedom results. As you pray this year, ask God to form you into the follower He wants, relinquishing your own agenda.

My time with Jesus now is full of surprises. I respond to His words for me with creativity as I embrace the fact that He is my creator. I wait in expectancy for His creative ways to surprise me. And I’m forever changed in the process.

You can see some of my art responses online here: http://www.soulpersuit.com/lw_m_support.htm
http://www.soulpersuit.com/lw_m_postcard.htm, http://www.soulpersuit.com/lw_m_kids.htm
http://www.soulpersuit.com/lw_m_cdwriter.htm
http://www.soulpersuit.com/lw_md_joy.htm

Some of my children’s responses:
http://www.soulpersuit.com/lw_ad_lament.htm

(Note: This appeared in another form in In Touch magazine)

My Kids Love Each Other

2007-10-08T13:24:00.000-07:00

A few days ago, Julia made a speech for her class. She wanted to become class representative. She had me type her speech, which included a sentence like, "And I would like to thank my brother who is always there for me."

Aidan had lost his bid for treasurer the week before. Julia had such empathy for him that she made sure she blessed him in her speech. It's a wonderful indication that my kids are crazy about each other.

How did we do that? I'm really not sure! But I'm entirely thankful. Some things to consider:

We went halfway across the world as a family and encountered a mountainful of stress together. That bonded us like nothing else could.
We would not allow our kids to desecrate each other with words. We tried to model grace and acceptance. (Not to say we don't have arguments, we do, but we try to work things out without character assassination).
Our children are not overbooked with activity, so they have lots of time to spend together.
We have time together as a family.
We spend Sundays at home relaxing.

These are factors that contribute to our kids liking and loving each other. Even so, I give Jesus the rightful credit for infusing our home with His grace. Oh that we could all be like Julia to the loved ones in our lives.

Wanting to Return

2007-10-03T09:20:00.000-07:00

I have a problem with legalism. I see how my life should be, then I make up all sorts of rules about what I should do to combat my laziness. Then, instead of doing things joyfully, I check things off by rote.

Even so, there are times like today when I want to return to some good family habits we've let wane over the past two months as school has roared onto the scene. Even listing them here gives me pause. Will this be yet another campaign that ends in me feeling guilty and nothing accomplished? Is this born of Jesus or my own need for our home to run a certain way?

Well, I'll list them anyway. As you can see, I often overthink things! Here's what I'd like to see our family return to:

Take evening walks
Consistently exercise (me)
Creatively connect with Jesus through art journals (go to here for ideas)
Teach my kids how to cook
Read to kids again
Limit our computer time
Play more games

So, I'm going to rethink these ideas today and strategize how to get back to where we were. What things do you want to get back to?

A Post from a Loving Father

2007-09-28T12:27:00.001-07:00

This is from a loving father. The names have been changed...

My 10 year old daughter Marcy sent me this email today. To my shame the content and context I think speak for themselves. I was compelled to answer immediately and I spent the better part of the afternoon writing the reply that follows.

It’s just Marcy here to say, have a great day.
Wouldn’t it be nice to stay home a day?
Then maybe you and I could play!
If you ever come across a day were you could stay,
Will you please find time to play?

Just in case you wanted to know, I sent you this rhyme for a time when you are angry or sad.

When I am mad, sometimes I am also bad.
Sometimes when I am bad, it makes people sad.
So when you are mad, please do not act bad, because it makes me sad.
I do not mean to be rude,
And I don’t want you to be in a bad mood.
But I do want you to know,
That I don’t like it when you and mom stage an argue show.
So please consider the way I feel,
And maybe we will have a deal.

Thanks a lot,

Marcy

The father's response:

Hey Marcy,

It’s nice for you to say...Have a great Day! Thanks. Since you wrote to me in a poem, I reply in kind.

Dad

I think that I will, have a great day!
It is a good deal, to find time to play
Take a break from the fray, iced tea on a tray
Pause and pray on the way, Thank God for this day!

I hear you my girl, about the way that you feel
When there’s strife with my wife, swirling words make you reel
The conflict you hear is not for your ears
Forgive us my dear, let go of your fears

Don't be sad, mad, or bad, be glad that you've had
Parents working it out, both a Mom and a Dad
Not a fad passing, our love it is lasting
No dashing of hopes, no crashing or trashing

Always remaining, our love it’s not waning
Blessed by our God, forever sustaining
With this thought in mind, my day can’t be better
Thanks my Marcy, for your concerned letter

Four Bunny Reminder

2007-09-17T13:00:00.001-07:00

I went jogging today (hooray!). A sweet bunny stood on hind legs, gnawing some grass. She didn't run away, but just eyed me. She reminded me of my youngest daughter Julia whose nickname is Bunny. I ran through our local park, praying for Bunny.

A little bit later, three more bunnies crossed (hopped!) my path. I know it sounds silly, but I took that as a little sign from Jesus to be praying for all the bunnies in my life: my three kids and my husband.

What about you? What does God do to remind you to pray for your family? Send bunnies?

I don't want to be a pestered mom

2007-09-13T06:13:00.001-07:00

Life's been far too busy these days. I'm preparing a talk about abundant parenting for Saturday, and wouldn't you know, I've lacked abundance. I'm more like a pestered parent than an attentive one.

I spoke last night to a long lost friend. We share the same birthday and have kids similar ages. She said she was doing her best to cherish her children now, laughing that she didn't have a life, but that she would someday . . . after the kids were grown. She was content in her role as Mommy. She relished it.

I love being a mommy too. So much. But when work and kids collide, I have a hard time taking off my work hat. It doesn't help that my work is in my home, my office within shouting distance of nearly every room of the house. (Gotta love those open floor plans!)

But still.

Julia needs help with a solo, and I'm the resident singer. I've helped her, but not nearly enough. Sophie was in tears about biology, which, thankfully, her daddy who is king-of-biology, helped her with. Aidan is adjusting to his new school.

I'm needed.

I don't want my kids to grow up feeling like they've pestered me. I'd rather them feel like I had a loving, patient look in my eye. A tender touch.

Oh Lord, pester me with Your abundance so I am not pestered by my kids. Renew me. Help me. Show me Your way. I need You. So much.

Oh the painful Irony!!!

2007-09-11T12:30:00.000-07:00

Today I was working on something I'll be selling on my website: 150 conversation starters you can use around your dinner table. One of the questions I wrote was this: Is it wrong to speed?

CAN YOU BELIEVE IT???? For the first time in forever, I was pulled over today for speeding!!!!! Oh, my! The kindly officer chose to offer me grace and I did not receive a ticket, but I sure did eat a whomping piece of humble pie.

Note to drivers: DO NOT speed in Rockwall, Texas.

On CBN.com

2007-09-02T11:32:00.000-07:00

Authentic Parenting is featured on CBN's family page this week, along with an excerpt. If you'd like to read a portion of the book before you take the buying plunge, you can read it here.

The fun thing is I had no idea this was happening! We go to a large church where folks may know us (because we spoke in a lot of Sunday School classes to raise support to go to France), but we may not know everyone by name. Someone like that came up to me and said, "Congratulations!"

"For what?"

"For being featured on CBN!"

The blank look on my face must've given me away. She went on to explain where she'd seen it. What was puzzling about the whole thing was that someone from CBN contacted me last week, wanting to know what my testimony was. So I sent it off. And haven't heard anything since (which the nice lady warned me about. It should take a week to process). So, that's the news of the day--a nice feature on a big website, and the possibility of sharing my testimony on TV. We shall see!

The Impact of Building the Christian Family You Never Had

2007-08-29T18:56:00.001-07:00

Recently, I received this email from a gal who shared how Building the Christian Family You Never Had has impacted her and her church. It really blessed me:

Hi Mary, I met you at Mt. Hermon last Spring and bought your book, "Building the Christian Family You Never Had."

I had heard you on the radio a couple weeks before and thought it sounded like a great book for me to read and was very interested in hearing your story. I couldn't believe it when I met you and you even offered to do a phone conference with me and a small group of women, if we had questions for you. Even though they didn't have any questions, I wanted to let you know how much I appreciated your book and to let you know some of the cool things that happened in my small group.

My husband and I serve in full-time campus ministry at Ball State University, so summers are a much more laid back, slow paced time when we don't go on a summer mission trip. This summer we hung around and I asked any women in the church if they wanted to get together for a weekly book study for a bunch of healing fun!

It was really cool to have a wide variety of women - single students, newly marrieds, and experienced wives and moms like me - all in the same group. We shared our family histories and cried together through some of the chapters. We used the questions in the back of the book, which were great, and I even assigned homework - running laps around the years of our lives and writing a letter of forgiveness. Much of this was heart wrenching work, but God blessed us with much laughter and a bunch of inside jokes and stories to tell.

One girl lost her father to cancer just a few weeks into the study. I wasn't sure if she would be able to come again, but she did, we got to pray for her and support her and help her through a rough time. Many weeks she came and said, "I'm here, but I'm not talking about my family tonight." We'd let her sit, but then as God prompted she would open up and cry and we'd comfort her and then somehow laughter would come again. It was really beautiful. She and one other girl were prompted to begin counseling, which I am really grateful for. I believe that God has just begun the healing that they desperately need.

One of the young moms said that she believes that God caused me to run into you just so I'd get your book and we could do this book study this summer. She is so grateful for all that God has done in and through it. It's funny, because I went to Mt. Hermon with the hope of becoming a professional writer - actually getting published - even though that hasn't worked out yet, God blessed these women. Maybe I'm not the most important part of the plan he had for Mt. Hermon. Imagine that.;)

Last night one of the women showed me the professional pictures she just had taken of her family. One of them she had done to look like the cover of the book - the whole family holding hands and walking away. And she put the verse from Deuteronomy at the bottom. I just wanted you to know how important this book has been to these 11 women this summer. I honestly could go on and on. God used your words powerfully in all of our lives. Thank you so much. God's continued grace to you and your family. Keeping running this race, Mary, it's not in vain.

Guest Blogger: Author Sandra Glahn

2007-08-19T18:03:00.000-07:00

This is excerpted from Sandra Glahn's popular Coffee Cup Bible Study Series: Cappuccino with Colossians. You can learn more about the book and the series here.

*****

Back in the late 1990s when my daughter still rode around in a car seat, we had several droughts in Texas. The second time, more than sixty days passed without a drop from the sky. One afternoon during that time, as I drove us home from the club where I swim, we spotted a grass fire in the median. I pulled out my cell phone and called the fire department pronto.

Several days later, we passed that stretch of grass, scorched from the blaze. My little girl wanted to know all about it: Should we be scared? Is it bad to call 911? What causes fires? Will it happen again? Why did the grass burn? Why? Why? Why?

I explained that the grass needed a drink—that all the Texas grass needed a drink, that the plants were thirsty, that the trees craved rain.

“What can we do?” she asked.

“All we can do is pray.”

“Right now?”

“I suppose,” I said. “Now’s as good a time as any.”

She insisted I pray.

“OK,” I said. So I kept my eyes on the road and started talking to God. I told Him about how the grass needed a drink. I reminded Him that the trees were thirsty. And I told Him we were scared we’d run out of water. “Please, God,” I pleaded, “we need rain.” When I finished, she prayed too, with that childlike, simple faith Jesus commends.

About twenty seconds after we finished, a huge drop splashed on my windshield. I looked around to see if a truck was leaking fluid. Then another drop hit. And another.

Ohmyword! It dawned on me.

“HE SAID YES!” my daughter screamed from the back seat. “HE SAID YES!”

Sure enough, that liquid was coming from the sky, and it was rain. I dabbed my eyes and kept on driving. Other drivers pulled over, got out of their cars, and threw their arms in the air in fits of unbridled joy.

“HE SAID YES!” my daughter kept screaming.

“Yes, He did,” I whispered, shaking my head as I marveled at the timing. It seemed so coincidental. (William Temple, the ninety-eighth archbishop of Canterbury, was known to have said, “When I pray, coincidences happen; and when I don’t pray, they don’t happen.”)

James reminded his readers that God hears the prayers of ordinary people: “Elijah was a human being like us, and he prayed earnestly that it would not rain and there was no rain on the land for three years and six months” (James 5:17). Sometimes we get the idea that God answers the prayers of the superspiritual while He glosses over the requests of us lesser mortals. Why should God answer some mom and her little girl driving by a burned median in Texas? Yet that’s James’s point—Elijah was just like us, and see what his prayers accomplished? Prayer is access to supreme power. If we really grasped that truth, people would have to pry us out of our prayer closets.

In Colossians 4:2, Paul packs a lot of instruction on prayer into one short verse. He says it’s something we should be devoted to, alert in, and something we should give thanks with.

To be devoted to something is to persist at it. Paul’s word for devoted to was often used to describe a boat docked, continually ready for use. To be devoted to prayer is to cling to it with persistent attention and perseverance.

That kind of prayer is not the stuff we tack on after the fact when we’ve run out of all other options. “All we can do is pray,” I had said, as if praying is barely a cut above nothing. In Pilgrim at Tinker Creek, Annie Dillard writes, “On the whole, I do not find Christians, outside of the catacombs, sufficiently sensible of conditions. Does anyone have the foggiest idea what sort of power we so blithely invoke? Or, as I suspect, does no one believe a word of it? The churches are children playing on the floor with their chemistry sets, making up a batch of TNT to kill a Sunday morning. It is madness to wear straw hats and velvet hats to church; we should all be wearing crash helmets. Ushers should issue life preservers and signal flares; they should lash us to our pews.”

Dillard is right. Praying is like lighting dynamite.

If we truly believed that, Paul wouldn’t have to remind us to be alert. How many times do we, like the disciples in Gethsemane, doze off during our prayers rather than staying vigilant? I don’t know about you, but I doubt I’d doze off near a bomb squad working to dismantle wires before the clock reaches a big red ZERO.

*****

Sandra adds: "What God taught me through this: Without Him, I can do nothing. With Him, all things are possible. I do not have to push my child along and nudge her to believe. I need to help her pray, to relate to God, and trust Him to show up. Parenting is partnering with God to accomplish something He wants even more than I do—a child who adores Him."

A Mention in Publisher's Weekly

2007-08-19T18:02:00.000-07:00

Publisher's Weekly ran a story about parenting in this information age, and Authentic Parenting was mentioned. You can read it here.

APT Week 5

2007-08-10T13:30:00.001-07:00

I'm heading to the mountains for vacation for a much needed break. So I am posting next week's blog tour information a little early. Please stop by and see what's new on the tour. Congratulations to TRACY who won three parenting books (above)! I'll be back on the blogosphere around the 20th. Until then, have a lovely week!

Be sure to check out the other blogs participating on the Authentic Parenting Tour this week. For a complete listing of the blogs participating in the six week tour, visit here.
A Latte and Some Words
Chat ‘n’ Chew Cafe
~christa~
Experiencing the Journey
Fabric, Paper, Thread
Fictional Journey
Haruah - Breath of Heaven
I Wish You Enough
Leanna Ellis
lorrieorr.com
Margaret Daley
Partners in Prayer for our Prodigals
Raindancer’s Map of Memories
Robyn’s Ramblings
See Ya On the Net
Sometimes I Feel Like a Piece of Bologna
Sormag Online Tours
Spaghettipie
The Authentic You
The Spiritual Mom
Why Didn’t You Warn Me?
Write from my Heart

Authentic Parenting in a Postmodern Culture--Right Title?

2007-08-09T10:36:00.001-07:00

Today I read this in the comments for a recent post about book sales:

Dayle James Arceneaux has left a new comment on your post "A+B doesn't = C":

Mary, Allow me to interject my humble opinion on this matter. Keep in mind that I haven't read the book. But I will assume and, I'm sure I'm correct, that the content is excellent.
Especially given the reviews.

I believe its the Title. Specifically the word "Postmodern." No one in my daily circle uses this word. When I use it I get blank stares. The only place I see this word is on intellectual blogs and in elitist dissertations. I also don't think "Authentic" is direct enough. For me, the title just doesn't say to anyone "this book is for you. You've got a problem and this book has the answer."

I can almost hear a "regular" person saying "Oh, this book wasn't meant for me. It was meant for the yuppy, BMW, arts and croissant crowd." I'm not saying that makes any sense, but perception is often reality by default. Unlike your excellent title: "Ordinary Mom Extraordinary God" which I believe identifies with a large target audience. It speaks to the buyer: "That's right. I'm just an ordinary Mom, but I serve an extraordinary God. I'm not in this alone." -dayle

I'm curious what you all think about Dayle's thoughtful comments. I've had people not like my other titles. One even wrote a blog post about how terrible Watching the Tree Limbs was as a title. So this isn't new.

Still, I think there may be something here. If you've read Authentic Parenting, how do you feel the title fits the book? How doesn't it? What makes the title inviting? What makes it off-putting?

And last but not least: If you were given the job TITLE GURU, how would you title this book? I anxiously await your input!

Guest Blogger: Laura Christianson

2007-08-07T18:41:00.001-07:00

Today we have the pleasure of reading Laura's story. Laura and I met at Mount Hermon Christian Writers Conference. She's a great gal! May her words bless you today. md.

My first child turned 15 on August 4. During his birthday party, I thought, “Never in my wildest dreams could I have imagined enjoying a riotously loud bowling birthday party with a handful of teenage boys.”

Fifteen years ago, my husband and I were taking a quiet, leisurely vacation in Great Britain when we received a phone call that changed our lives: “You have a baby boy waiting for you in Washington state.”

Call it an international adoption in reverse. We did fly to another country to adopt our child, but the country we flew to was our own.

Since the day we met our son, our lives have been full of adventure—and noise. I think Ben was born with a ball in his hand. He’s been bouncing and throwing and kicking balls since he was able to sit up. We’ve followed our “ball boy” from sport to sport—sometimes teaching, sometimes coaching, sometimes cheering from the sidelines—but always delighting in this unique child who found his way into our family.

People sometimes ask me, “Can you love an adopted child as much as you’d love a birth child?” I’ve never birthed a child, but I can’t imagine loving anyone more than I do my two sons.

But the intensity of my love for them pales in comparison to the ferocity with which God loves me, His adopted child. At church this Sunday, we sang, “How deep the Father’s love for us, how vast beyond all measure…”

Those words from Stuart Townsend’s song remind me that Jesus modeled unconditional love. And those words assure me. My Heavenly Father, who adopted me as His spiritual child, equips me to lavish that same unconditional love on the children He puts in my life.

Here’s a little bit about me and my books:

Laura Christianson (www.laurachristianson.com) is an adoption educator, adoptive mom, and the author of two new books: The Adoption Decision: 15 Things You Want to Know Before Adopting, and The Adoption Network: Your Guide to Starting a Support System. She writes the popular Exploring Adoption blog (http://adoptionblogs.typepad.com/) and recently created Adoption Writers (http://adoptionwriters.ning.com/), an online networking community for those who write about adoption issues.

Links to my books on Amazon:

The Adoption Network (link to Buy 1, Get 1 Free Pre-Release special on my site):
http://tinyurl.com/32qkj4

The Adoption Decision - http://tinyurl.com/39p5a6

Authentic Parenting Tour: Win 3 Different Parenting Books

2007-08-05T17:39:00.001-07:00

This week I'm going to send one commenter my three parenting books: Ordinary Mom, Extraordinary God, Building the Christian Family You Never Had, and Authentic Parenting in a Postmodern Culture. How to win? Go to relevantblog and comment on the first post here. I'll draw names at the end of next week.

Be sure to check out the other blogs participating on the Authentic Parenting Tour this week. For a complete listing of the blogs participating in the six week tour, visit here.

Almost Hypergraphic
AskMeanMom.com
Audra Marie
Blogging for Writers
Camy’s Loft Coming Home
Edgewise
FreshBrewedWriter
Good Word Editing
Heather in Madrid
Lexical Light
Mother Inferior
Pattie’s Place
Portrait of a Writer...Interrupted
Seedlings in Stone
Spaghettipie
Spoiled for the Ordinary
They Hang Like Paper Lanterns
Traveling Together
Writer...Interrupted

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2007-08-04T07:11:00.001-07:00

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Data base fun

2007-07-31T17:06:00.001-07:00

Cool news! I've hired my daughter Sophie as my assistant. Currently she's typing in churches and their family or women's pastors into a database for my 4-times-a-year speaking newsletter. If your church might be interested in a speaker (no worries if not), would you be willing to send me:

The women's ministry director's name or Family Pastor
Their email addy
Your church name
Snail mail addy

Thanks for doing that. Please email to maryedemuth at sbcglobal dot net.