A Shepherds Tale

A French Kiss!

2009-06-26T06:34:00.001-07:00

We have enormous snails in our garden, and couldn't resist a photo of this amorous pair! Hope I didn't put them off although I'm not sure if I want all those baby snails.

Bittersweet tears

2009-06-22T01:26:00.000-07:00

Hi I've been intending to write this post for some time now but decided to wait til after my trip to England. As followers of this blog know my son died suddenly last July. He left behind two young children from his first marriage and a second wife whom he had been married to for 5 years. Shortly after his funeral his wife found out that she was expecting their first child. She was so pleased that she would have something so tangible to remember my son by but I have to say that I was devestated by the news. I was obviously delighted for her but all I could think was what my son was going to miss and of a child who would never know their Father. It added to my grief and this is what I wrote at the time.

I am lost

From his death there is a beginning
A new life has grown from his seed.
Her heart filling with joy and love
As her cheeks bloom and her belly blossoms.
But my heart is splitting in many fragments.
I should be happy
But the pain is still too strong.
I am lost
Floundering in a well
Of sorrow
I have not yet said farewell
How can I now say welcome?
I am overwhelmed with sadness
For you.

At the beginning of April our daughter-in-law gave birth to a healthy baby boy. A very healthy 9lb 5oz. At the beginning of June we went back to England for the first time since the funeral. We were going to see his children from his first marriage and of course the new baby, and we were going to visit our son. The whole trip was so hard, the plane, the drive down to Devon, trying to hold myself together for the grandchildren and for our daughter-in-law who has been amazingly strong. The baby is a lovely happy baby and I know that he will come to know his father through his mother his friends and of course us. But even writing this is bringing tears to my eyes.

We then went to the graveyard. As I said before it is set in open fields and is a beautiful place, he is laid under a tree. But on that day the heavens had opened.

We stood before the place where our son lay
A dead threatening sky enveloped us
An unrelenting gloom, no glimmer of light
No words can describe the feeling of utter desolation
My tears mingled with the dark curtain of rain
And seeped into the earth around him.
I did not want to leave him.

It will soon be a year since he died and I know it will be another difficult milestone to cope with. Everyone deals with grief differently and for me putting some of my poems and feelings on this blog has helped.

Allen Ginsberg wrote " Poetry is the outlet for people to say in public what is known in private."

Poetry is my "other" me, my private face in public.

Time shifts and building works.

2009-05-26T06:28:00.000-07:00

Well that's the only way I can describe the speed with which time is flying by at the moment!!! No update for nearly two months. The builders are making good progress but we will be very pleased whan they finally leave us in peace. It's amazing how much it disturbs our routines and then of course there is the noise and dirt. But it will be worth all the aggro in the long run. But once the builders have finished then the hard work will really start. We are aiming to do the finishing works ourselves, and "flushed" with the success of the new plumbing we are raring to go.

And the sunny weather is finally with us, it's been an iffy spring but now the sun has reappeared with a real warmth in it and the promise of much more to come and good dry weather will make our work easier.

As for my wip I have barely looked at it for weeks but once I get back after my trip to England next week I shall be buckling down to it again. Well at least that's the idea, I just hope I haven't forgotten what it's about!! So just a quick update and more to come soon.

Sunshine, builders and phone.

2009-04-06T02:37:00.001-07:00

What more could I ask for? After another week with no phone or internet, "they" finally seem to have got their act together and we have our own phone number back and internet. Only three weeks messing us about!!! The builder has returned with the sunshine and the plumbing is going well. We have a working wash basin for the new loo, and soon a wash basin in the bedroom plus a shower. I have been very impressed by the OH's prowess with a blowtorch!!

All I need now is to knuckle down to my wip. I haven't done anything to it for some time but I have been trying some short stories and poems, which counts as writing doesn't it?

Some thoughts while out running:

Often when I run
I have moments of lucidity.
Ideas crowd my mind
Sentences beg to be written.
But when I return home
They are wiped away
With the sweat!
--------------
Why is a blank page so terrifying?
Anxious vanity and fear of ridicule
Check the pen from moving.
--------------
On my desk there stands a mug
Full of pens all different hues,
Jostling for my attention.
Which one will it be today?
Choose me, choose me they cry.
One insinuates it's way into my hand,
Willing to slide and slither across the page,
Giving substance to the ideas and images
That wait for life and form
In the jumbled recesses of my mind.

Okay, enough of this, I'm off for a run now and you never know I might just get some new ideas.

Pay it forwards.

2009-03-23T08:20:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago the lovely Caroline offered to send small gifts of friendship to the first three bloggers to leave a comment on her blog. This idea had come via JJ, I had missed that opportunity so was pleased when I was the third blogger. Well my lovely little gifts arrived last week and they proved again what a very thoughtful and kind person Caroline is.

My little parcel contained a beautiful Momiji doll with a secret message from Caroline tucked inside her Kimono. A Sheep Poo Paper book mark, which is exactly what it says it is, from Welsh sheep, and a little magic wand to help all my dreams come true.

I'm not sure I can manage anything quite so exciting but if any of you would like to join in this Pay it forwards then all you need to do is leave a comment asking to join in, then you will need to send me your name and address and I will send you a small gift of friendship. All you then have to do is do a blog about it and link back to me. If you wish to continue the Pay it forwards then that would be entirely up to you. I offer this to the first three bloggers to leave a comment, there is no cost to you and the gift will be small, just a token of friendship and good wishes from one blogger to another.

Now an update on Builders and phones. No builders yet and we still have someone elses phone number, a Technician is due to call Thursday afternoon. That will be two weeks of utter annoyance.

Sorry another rant required!!!

2009-03-20T07:50:00.000-07:00

I had intended to do a blog about the lovely Caroline today but I have been exasperated by phone problems. Unbelievably our phone number has been replaced by somebody else's, so we have been receiving somebody else's calls!!!!!. For the past two days we have been able to dial out but not receive calls to our number, I had phoned to complain and been told that this was being looked into. Then this morning we started to get someone elses calls. So I made yet another phone call which lasted for about 16 minutes with me trying to convince the technician that if I did as he said and disconnected the phone line I would not be able to continue the conversation with him!!!! Eventually he recognised the difficulty, now we have to wait for a text message to our mobile to inform us when the problem is resolved. In the meantime we can phone out but only receive someone elses calls, and the poor lady whose phone number we now have has no phone or internet. She phoned me earlier after a friend told her about getting hold of me on her number and all in French of course.

Confused, yes and so are we!!!! All I wanted was to save us some money. I wonder if I could write a short story about this, no it's too far fetched for anyone to believe.
Normal service will resume soon, I hope!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Incommunicado for a week!!!!

2009-03-19T07:57:00.000-07:00

It has been very stressful in our household for over a week now. I made the mistake of trying to save us some money by changing our phone and internet provider. Oh dear oh dear, and it's just aswell you couldn't hear what I was saying over the last few days. It wasn't very ladylike I'm afraid and I think I have a lot more grey hairs!!!!

We lost the phone and internet last Thursday and I have been on the mobile for what seems like hours trying to get through to a human being. If I hear anymore recorded messages I shall not be responsible for my behaviour. And for the first time in our lives we had to resort to an internet cafe!!!! Ooh that was interesting.

Finally yesterday we were reconnected but still cannot receive incoming calls. So yet another call this morning and we have to wait for another technician to visit.

Oh and the builder has been awol since last Thursday although he has promised to return tomorrow. We shall see!

Anyway enough of this rant, tomorrows post will be a much happier one as I have received my lovely surprises from Caroline so I will tell you about that then, I just had to have a virtual scream before getting back to normal.

Update on building work!

2009-03-11T02:35:00.001-07:00

This is the two storey extension we are having built at the front of the house. The builders are making good progress.

If only writing was as simple as bricklaying, well I suppose it is in a way, just one word at a time and before you know it you have a novel. Okay I'm off to write todays word!!!!

In memory of The Hesitant Scribe

2009-02-11T05:54:00.000-08:00

This should have todays date the 12th February.
The photo makes me feel peaceful and I know that Lisa is at peace now. She lost her battle last Thursday. I didn't know Lisa except through the Novel Racers and her blog but I admired her courage and I am thinking of her family on this very difficult day for them all.

It has started!!

2009-02-03T01:10:00.001-08:00

Yesterday the builder started. Woopeeee!!!!! Finally we shall see some progress with the extensions to the house. Yesterday and today we have the sound of a pneumatic drill pounding in our ears but we are not complaining. We have also started on the bathroom, so far we have removed the old [navy blue] suite and all the [navy blue] tiles from the walls and ceiling!!!! so now we have bare walls that we will plasterboard then make a partition for the new loo. The middle bedroom will have an en-suite shower and basin leaving a larger more open landing. Well thats the theory!!!! The OH will attempt the plumbing with my invaluable advice and assistance so that any problems are down to both of us. We have miles or is that kms of copper piping and a shiny new blow torch and of course a cunning plan to avoid leaks. What cunning plan I hear you ask? A devilishly simple one ................we don't connect the water!!!!!!!! It will all be for show and guests will be required to use the outside loo and garden hose. He he he he.
Seriously though we are glad to be getting on with constructive work again. Oh and did I say it's snowing here. Nothing like poor old England but the hills are white in the distance.
At the moment I am sitting at the kitchen table because I can't use my laptop at my desk at the top of the house, I have earphones on with music to try and cut out the noise. However the other day as I was staring out of my little window this poem popped into my head.

My small window

Seated at my small window high above the village
From the deepening gloom lights spring forth.
The streets are glistenning from the rain
Car lights gleam briefly then retreat.
The tall conifer stands sentinel
Silhouetted against the distant hills.
Grey clouds heavy with expectation
Wallow slowly across the horizon
Catching the smoke that rises from the chimneys.
Darkness now envelopes the houses
Interspersed by pools of neon yellow,
Halos of light blossom above the lamp posts.
The temperature drops quickly
As the shutters are slammed shut.
Will the stars appear tonight
Or will they be obscured from view.
-------------------
One of my bright stars has gone forever and it still hurts.

When I heard about our fellow racer who has such a desperate fight ahead of her this came to me because I know that we all guilty of wasting time.

Precious time

As the darkness folds in on itself
To make way for a new day
And the first tendrils of light
Creep along the edges of the earth
The world shakes the sleep
From its eyes
And promises renewed hope.
And as I get to glimpse another day
I am grateful.
But each new day
Means one less for me.
I have so little time to do
Everything I have dreamed of.
Yet when the days stretched
Endlessly before me
I was lazy and wasteful.
Now those precious moments
Have gone for good
Never to be retrieved.
So I must kidnap
The days that are left
Hold them tightly in both hands
And make of them what I can.
--------------
Pain and deep sorrow focus the mind
Fearing our own mortality
Concentrates our thoughts.
From grief and anguish ideas blossom and grow.

I have no idea whether these poems have any merit but it doesn't really matter. Atleast it feels creative so I let myself be led by the thoughts that come to me at all times of the day or night. Now I'm off to type up some of my wip as I don't think I can be very creative with the amount of noise around me at the moment.

My window on the world

2009-01-27T03:21:00.000-08:00

As we are renovating our entire house I have been relegated to a little space at the top of the house for writing. It is basically the landing to which the OH has added a small desk[piece of board balanced on the bannister] plus a comfy swivel chair. The walls are bare as we have stripped them ready for a new window and redecoration of the landing and stairs. As with everything here each job takes longer than anticipated due to a variety of complications. It's only saving grace is the small window which allows me to look out over the village and it's quiet, no disturbances up there, and I can leave my notebooks out. This morning I managed about 2000 words of my wip which are the first I've written this year. I have also written a few poems and a short story which I will post when I have tidied them up a bit.

The builder has promised he will start here on Thursday but we will believe him when we see him. Watch this space!!!

Oh and I have updated my wordcount and I am over halfway with some still to type up. Yippeee it's downhill all the way now, just hope I don't crash headlong into a blockade.

A New Year and a fresh start.

2009-01-04T23:08:00.000-08:00

Thankyou again to everyone who has left messages of support, it really does help to know that we are in your thoughts.
Christmas has been a difficult time and I am glad it is over and that we made it through.
When our son died suddenly 5 months ago it left us stunned and bewildered. Since then I think we have been treading water, going through the motions of living, marking time as we tried to come to terms with our terrible loss.
Now with the start of a new year I feel as if our spirits have lifted and that we have regained some enthusiasm. I feel stronger and ready to try and move on with our lives. We have lots to do.
I know there will still be events and anniversaries and black days to cope with but I think I can say that we are truly looking forward to 2009.

I hope that this year treats you all kindly too.

Happy Christmas

2008-12-24T07:46:00.000-08:00

I just want to wish all Novel Racers and fellow bloggers a Happy Christmas and a creative New Year. I haven't felt much like blogging recently as I am finding the idea of Christmas quite difficult to deal with but I expect to be back blogging soon. I may even accomplish one or two items from my to do list over the next few days/weeks!!!! You can have a guess at which things may be possible at this time of year!!!

So have a good holiday and I will catch up with you all in the new year.

Happy Thanksgiving

2008-11-27T01:51:00.001-08:00

OOPS

To all our American bloggers have a great day.

Early morning thoughts

2008-11-20T02:47:00.000-08:00

I still have nights when I don't sleep well and I often have thoughts in my head that I just have to get up and write down. If I don't write them down there and then they have often gone by the morning or I don't remember them as I want to. The same thing happens sometimes when I am out running which is a bit trickier as I have to keep the thoughts in my head till I get home.

4th October running along by the river:

I lift my face to the sun and feel it's warmth
The river flows over my feet and it is icy cold.
I am held between light and warmth
Cold and dark.
I cannot move.
----------------------
11th November early morning:

There are two mes

There is the me who each morning
Along with her clothes
Puts on her public face.
The public me whose smile
Just avoids the eyes.
"How are you?" they say
And the public me says "I'm fine"
But the other me
Whose private face
Is sad and bewildered
Is Crying.
The other me who wants to say
My son is dead, grieve with me.
The other me who cannot understand
Why?
But the public me just says
"I'm fine."

I have a notebook where I write down all these thoughts, it helps to have them in one place.

sheep for sheepish and check out my word count!!!

2008-11-10T05:27:00.000-08:00

What a lovely surprise in the post this morning, jj sent me these gorgeous little sheep to add to my collection of anything "sheepish." In case you can't see they are book marks so will feel very much at home with my sheep books and mugs. It has helped me a lot to know that I have been in my fellow bloggers thoughts over the past three long months. Life here moves on slowly.

I have been under the weather for the past three weeks so have not managed any writing but I have typed up some previous work and to my surprise my word count is now up to 40000 words with more still to type. It has given me some encouragement and I hope to get back to my wip this week as I think I am finally on the mend. It's the OH's turn now and we all know what men are like when they are ill!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If you have ever seen "Open all Hours" with Ronnie Barker I am threatening him with Nurse Gladys Emmanuel if he stays in bed too long!!!!

We are still waiting for a start date for the Builder, are they the same the world over? The weather is sunny and warm most days so I hope to be back running and cycling this week.

Of photos and e-mails

2008-10-28T03:56:00.000-07:00

The very helpful Zinnia told me how to add a photo to my profile and I have also decided to add an e-mail address. Is there no end to the resoucefulness of us woolly creatures?

I shall now sit back and wait for lots of e-mails and compliments for my new photo.

Strictly come dancing and anonymous poets!!

2008-10-23T03:13:00.000-07:00

I'm rather under the weather at the moment with a stinker of a cold, sore throat, chesty cough etc. So I've not managed to do much at all this week. No running, no cycling,no writing, just feeling sorry for myself. However I do want to thank Anonymous for the lovely poem she/he left in a comment on my last post, do let me know who you are.

I have managed to plant some lovely Pansies that we bought at the Market on Sunday [not a good photo but it was the best I could manage today] some delicate colours to brighten up the Winter, although the weather has been glorious for the last few weeks, warm sunny days and mild nights. We are still waiting to hear when the builder is going to start, two or three weeks we hope, it will probably start raining then!!!!

A couple of weeks ago the OH and I started Dance classes in the nearby town. The OH wants to learn to jive and we thought it would be a good way to meet people. We have signed up for Latin American starting with Salsa and Pasa Doble this term, jive comes later. It is proving to be good fun but much more difficult than we anticipated. We go on a Thursday evening from 9pm to 10pm, we go with a couple of English friends but the rest of the wannabe dancers are all French. Luckily we all seem to be blessed with two left feet so nobody stands out. We have a couple of drinks at a local bar first just to loosen up, tongues and feet!!! It has done us good to make the effort and our friends appreciate me translating for them. I think it will be hard work tonight but I daren't miss a lesson.

Today I am going to try and get some more of my wip typed up so I can update my word counter. It will be good to see it moving forward again.

Evenings and early mornings

2008-10-16T03:09:00.000-07:00

In the early evening I like to sit at the front of our house reading or just sitting as the last of the days sun sinks behind the hill opposite. We are on the edge of the village with just a few neighbours so its very peaceful especially at this time of day.

As the sun dips behind the hill
The last rays are warm on my skin
Muted sounds rise up from the village
People on their way home from work
Voices in the distance, ordinary sounds
That wash over me
Leaving me alone with my thoughts.
Leaves rustling, wood pigeons cooing
Soothing my heavy emotions.
The jarring sounds of crows
Heading home to roost
Interrupts the growing stillness.
The sun disappears and the sky
Turns from hot blue to cool.
Vapour trails from a distant plane disect
The cloudless sky but do not linger.
As night descends the village settles
Into its quiet time.
Shutters closed, fires lit
Time to reflect.

5.00am

Awake in the soft darkness of the night
Hearing nothing but the shallow breathing by my side
Watching grey light seep through the shutters
Listening for the first sounds from the village
Waiting for the slow dawn of a new day.

Sad Sundays

2008-09-29T08:09:00.000-07:00

Our son died on a Sunday morning, he had gone to work as he did every Sunday to do the milking for a farmer that he had worked for for many years. He knew the herd very well and had assisted more than a few of them into this world. Amongst them was his favourite cow, Whiskey. This is how I think about that morning.

Sunday Morning

Soft mist over cool green Devon fields
Dew sparkling in the early morning sun
A gentle breeze murmuring through the hedges.
Cows with kindly brown eyes
Stand in silent confusion, heavy with milk,
First a patient lowing then
A shifting of their hooves
A quickening of their breath
A snort, a nudge.
But still the steady drone of the tractor
Stopped forever in a moment of time.

Then the sound of sirens, all peace destroyed
The herd scatters, then when all is quiet
They return silently
Carefully probing the empty tractor.
For a moment they are lost
Something has changed.
But the call of the Milking Parlour is strong
And they must answer.
Only one remains
Whiskey remembers.

A gentle day out

2008-09-25T08:09:00.000-07:00

Last wednesday we loaded up the bikes and went off to the Canal du Midi for a bike ride followed by lunch. It was a lovely sunny day, well we don't do bike rides otherwise!! The photo was taken during the ride, I really wasn't sure if the barge was going to fit under the bridge, they had already had to take a load of water to lower the boat. But it just made it.

For a surprise I had decided to take the OH to a restaurant that we first visited 20 years ago when we had our first holiday on the Canal. It could have turned out badly as I didn't even know if the restaurant was still there, we had not been back since. But luckily for me it was and I had even found a photo of our visit in June 1988, I can safely say we don't look a day older. Well I can say that because I'm not showing you the photo, or the one that the proprietor took 20 years later. By the way it was the same owner although he didn't remember us!!!

We had a lovely lunch on the terrace overlooking the Canal. It was that holiday on the Canal that inspired us to buy a property in France and we haven't fallen out of love with France or the Canal since. For more info and some stunning photos about this amazing feat of engineering go to http://www.canalmidi.com/ . We had a lovely day out.

Life continues even though there are bad times we manage some good times aswell. We have lots to be getting on with here, demolition to do before the builders start, stripping walls ready for redecorating, and the OH has started on some retaining walls to stop the garden falling onto the shed he wants to build. And I have managed to write a bit more of my wip, so I think we are moving forward slowly. I will post some photos soon of the work we have been doing. Also some more poems because they help. Then one day back to some farm tales.

Two months gone

2008-09-16T03:02:00.000-07:00

Thanks again for all your lovely comments and for sharing this time with us.

It has been two months since our son died. Sometimes it seems like a lifetime ago or that it happenned to someone else. I don't really want to accept that he died. It goes against the natural order of things to bury your children.

I know that I was at his funeral but it feels as if it was someone else there not me. That I was a spectator not a participant. I find it very hard to explain my feelings but utter helplessness comes closest.

Usually I feel in control of the events in my life but now I am powerless, absolutely nothing I can do except find a way forward. Which I am trying to do but it's hard, very hard.

I have managed to start reading again which I wasn't able to do for about 6 weeks and this morning I have managed about 250 words of my wip. I am determined more than ever to finish my novel and dedicate it to the memory of my son.

These are some of the poems that I write in the small hours when I cannot sleep.

I am numb.

I sleepwalk through the waking hours
Shuffling slowly with leaden feet.
Then when the night comes
I lay watchful with sad heart.
Sleep eludes me as images
And thoughts crowd my mind.
So the days and nights pass slowly by.

--------

In the daylight hours I banish thoughts of you
Then when I lay down at night
Your voice and face come unbidden
But they are welcome.
The edges of reality are blurred
Tears fall silently to ease the pain
Are you really gone?

Finally sleep comes
But in the morning
You are gone
And I am desolate.

----------

I hear his voice in the dark "Hiya Mum"
I reach out to touch him
But he is not there, he is gone.

It helps to put my thoughts on paper as I can't express them out loud.
Now I am off for a run which also helps me get things in perspective and I shall be visiting blogs and catching up with the recent innovations here which seem to have passed me by.

Heartfelt thanks

2008-08-27T01:57:00.000-07:00

I just want to offer my heartfelt thanks to all my fellow Novel racers who have taken the time to leave a message for us in this very difficult time, and to all our friends who sent cards and offers of support it has all been very much appreciated.

We are still struggling to come to terms with the death of our son and realise that it will take a lot of time. We are trying to get on with our lives, as we must, but it is hard to get through the days.

I have decided to share with you some of my feelings in the hope that putting my thoughts in black and white may help me.

Our son's funeral was in a beautiful village church in Devon, it was full with his family and friends. Grown men cried which showed me how much he was loved and appreciated. He was buried in a little graveyard surrounded by open fields and trees. For someone whose working life had been dedicated to farming this was as perfect as it could be. One day I will find comfort in knowing where he was laid to rest although for now such beauty just makes me cry.

After the funeral we all went to one of his favourite village pubs to celebrate his life. We had written a few words between us about our son which my husband very courageously spoke. This is what he said:

Our son was a decent and honest bloke and didn't deserve to have his young life cut short in this way. He was extremely happy with his lot and together with his wife was living life to the maximum. Even through the hard times in agriculture he managed to keep the dream alive and his new milking contract was going to give them a more secure future.
He worked hard and of course played hard when the opportunity was right. He was as fit as a fiddle which makes the circumstances of his death even more difficult to understand and we feel very angry and hurt by that. Whoever or whatever decides these things gave him a bum script.
At a young age he told us he wanted to go to Brymore[agricultural boarding school] and since then he has followed his dream. He was at his happiest working amongst the farming community in this village, working long hours when needed and caring for your cows as if they were his own, especially Whiskey[his favourite milker].
I can claim to have taught him the indispensable skill of drinking large quantities of beer, we even managed to play rugby in the same 7 a side team. And his Mum taught him the equally important rudiments of skinning and gutting a lamb. What more could a young man expect from his parents. And we were even happier with what he gave us.
However none of us will miss the unmistakeable smell of his very own eau de cologne, a mixture of cow shit and sweat. But when he had had a shower and got dressed up he was a match for anyone, especially on Karaoke night!!!!
Nothing was ever too much trouble for him. If a friend or client had an emergency or a problem he was always the first to help out if he could and we will all be the poorer for the loss of his generosity of spirit, a rare and valued gift.
He died doing what he loved best at the farm he loved best. He will be sorely missed by one and all and that is perhaps the best testament and celebration of life and the affect he had on everyone who knew him.
He will never ever be forgotten.

Just a few words to try and describe a very good person.

Since his death I have been writing my feelings down, just raw emotion really but thats all there is at the moment. These are the words I wrote on the card with the flowers for his coffin:

I have cried a sea of tears for you
But it is not enough.
Your dad feels his grief in other ways
But I can see the hurt in his eyes.
We try to smile for you
But it is so so hard
And we are weary beyond words.

And this is what went in his coffin:

Life is grey without you
Even though the sun is shining
The sparkle has gone out of our lives.
We are weary as we watch the minutes
Drag slowly through the long days.
Life will go on without you
But it is on hold for now.
We are not ready yet to let you go
The pain is too great
We are not ready.
Sleep does not come easily
Images crowd my mind
And will not let me rest.
I am overwhelmed by grief
You should not have died.

Thank-you for sharing this with us. I will hope to resume some blogging soon although I hope you will allow me to continue to share my emotions with you. It helps me to express them in this way.

Devestating news

2008-07-28T02:34:00.000-07:00

I shall be away from the blog world for a while as we have had some devestating news. Our son died suddenly from a massive heart attack last Sunday the 20th July. He leaves a wife, two young children and us.

For now I have no words only emptiness and pain. We are getting through each day as best we can but it is very hard

When I am able to I will write about him as he was a wonderful son but for now I cannot bear it.

To anonymous of Tunbridge Wells.

2008-06-27T02:21:00.000-07:00

I can't believe thats it's over a month since my last post. Firstly thanks to all who made suggestions for combining my wish list. I particularly liked Lanes idea, lie down and eat more cake, and I think I can avoid spilling any wine. And to anonymous don't think I haven't guessed who you are!! And you are way off with your thoughts on wish no.10 but you are free to keep trying.
Since my last post the weather here has finally taken off and we have been basking in temperatures of 30+ and I have been taking full advantage of it. Although running in this heat will take me a while to get used to, particularly as I always run at midday.[Mad dogs and Englishmen etc] So another excuse for not much writing or blogging. Although this week I have finally managed a few thousand words and shall try for some more today, I must get the recent work typed up so that I can update my word count.
Tonight we are off to Toulouse to watch England take on France at Rugby league which should be good. It's a warm up match before the World Cup in Australia in October. French Rugby League has been coming on in leaps and bounds since the Catalan Dragons joined the Super League three years ago so we are looking forward to a close match.
On the house front we have just about finished the first bedroom with en-suite bathroom and have moved in to it. Now we can start the next room which is also at the top of the house and will be for storage, something we desperately need. We have also agreed with a local builder for the extensions which he will start in September. Before then we have quite a large demolition job to undertake, so thats August taken care of. That will leave July for a bit of R&R, well we mustn't overdo things!!!
And we have eaten the first peaches from the tree we planted back in March, we also planted a Cherry tree but will have to wait til next year for fruit from it. We are lucky in already having Figs, Plums, Almonds and Walnuts all ripening nicely. The down side is knowing what to do with vast quantities of Figs as eating too many is not a good idea!!! Sensible suggestions will be welcome.
And I really will continue my sheep stories very soon, I still have some tales to tell.
So I'm off for a run now, sweat off some of the wine I consumed last night!!!