HR Wench

And then we came to the end

2009-06-10T07:30:00.000-07:00

As many of you already know, I have decided to go back to school this fall. I am going to study to be a paralegal. The program should take about a year or so, and when I'm done, hopefully I will find myself with a new job in a new field.

I havent had much to say about HR in the past few months. Looking for a job in HR for a year and a half can really put one off the subject. Sorry about that. At the same time, Im not sorry - after eight years I feel more than ready to move on.

Im excited about school and finally having some direction after long, directionless and angst filled wandering.

I'm going to leave the HR Wench blog up. Amazingly enough, it still gets traffic. And it is a testament to a part of my life that contained many lessons learned, new friends gained and all that jazz. Who knows, maybe I will start a blog about being in paralegal school...or being a newbie paralegal. Until then, you can find me on Twitter under my new user ID @jennbarnes77.

Since I am a sucker for poetry, and William Stafford poetry in particular, I will leave you some of his words:

You Reading This, Be Ready

Starting here, what do you want to remember?
How sunlight creeps along a shining floor?
What scent of old wood hovers, what softened
sound from outside fills the air?

Will you ever bring a better gift for the world
than the breathing respect that you carry
wherever you go right now? Are you waiting
for time to show you some better thoughts?

When you turn around, starting here, lift this
new glimpse that you found; carry into evening
all that you want from this day. This interval you spent
reading or hearing this, keep it for life -

What can anyone give you greater than now,
starting here, right in this room, when you turn around?

Put your picture on your resume

2009-04-17T15:07:00.000-07:00

But only if you look like this guy:

Benefits are kind of scary

2009-04-12T14:34:00.000-07:00

Many of you know that I passed my second CEBS exam a few weeks ago.

I am so relieved I passed, as the second course made the first one look like a cake walk. Here is what we covered in a mere 12 weeks, no joke:

Individual and group life insurance
Disability management
Vacations and other time-off benefits
Dependent care and work-life benefits
Flexible benefits I
Flexible benefits II
Plan administration, technology and communication
Taxation of group plan benefits
Workers' compensation
Social insurance concepts
Health benefits for retireees
Long-term care insurance

One of the things I'm learning through the CEBS program is that benefits can be scary and weird, even to people who know what they are talking about. Keeping up with benefit laws, tax laws, technology and your industry's competition is not for the faint of heart. It's complicated.

Here are some things I learned in my second course:

Most people don't have enough life insurance. Calculating how much life insurance you need and what type of product you should buy is confusing.

Economic changes in the work environment of white collar employees increases short and long term disability claims. (And, in my experience, workers comp claims as well).

The IRS has its fingers in EVERYTHING.

Employers use a "credit system" in cafeteria plans instead of actual dollar values to "smooth out benefit inequities" and hide true costs from employees. Also, this makes it possible for employers to offer a "cash out option" that is not a dollar-for-dollar value.

Under Medicare Part D (in 2008), if your prescription costs are between $2,510 and $5,726 per year, none of it is covered.

Long Term Care Insurance is necessary because while modern medicine can usually prevent death, it can't always restore health. For the elderly, a life saving medical treatment is often the beginning of several months (or even years) of custodial care.

Well, I'm off to my third course: Retirement Plan Design (yay?).

Channeling Lady Gaga at work

2009-04-07T18:19:00.000-07:00

Like many street corners in America, one in my neighborhood is occupied by someone paid to hold a sign.

I generally don't like sign-holders or the companies that employ them. They are purposely trying to distract drivers, which is not a good idea in my book.

However, one sign holder has gotten my attention. She wears headphones and dances throughout her entire shift.

I drive to the gym, she's there dancing.
I drive home from the gym, she's there dancing.
I drive to the grocery store - yep, still there, still dancing.

I don't think the dancing is part of the job description. He coworkers don't dance on their shifts, and they aren't nearly as interesting to watch.

This woman probably makes minimum wage (part time, at that) and has to stand in hot sun, cold rain, annoying wind and inhale car exhaust. But there she is - dancing.

Holy smokes, you guys. I think this lady is onto something.

This job is kind of like not having a job

2009-03-09T12:20:00.000-07:00

Having a job in this economy is not always what it's cracked up to be, yo. Take a gander at the latest Ask HR Wench:

In January my brother's job was out-sourced. He managed to stay employed at the same company by taking on a different role (part-time, at an hourly rate roughly half of what he had been making).

He was classified as an independent contractor the first two months he was employed with this company, from Feb - Apr, 2008. After that, he was hired as an exempt employee. He has received his W2 for the time he was an employee, but not his 1099 for the time he was a contractor, which means he has yet to file his 2008 tax return.

As of January, my brother has again been classified as an independent contractor. He was supposed to get paid on the first of this month but has yet to see a payment (and has not seen payment for February, either).

I don't know that he is being classified correctly and neither does he. He works from home, on his own schedule, but that's about all that matches the list of qualifiers from the IRS.

I know I'm showing my ignorance and I can take a virtual eye roll, but my brother and his wife needed his income and still do. He needs to get paid. He needs supplemental UI and isn't sure how to classify himself and I am having a hard time making sense of it. He needs to file his taxes. This whole thing seems shady to me.

For what it's worth, I've read the IRS and CA EDD website and I found this on the California Department of Industrial Relations website: http://www.dir.ca.gov/dlse/faq_independentcontractor.htm

This sentence in the opening really is what makes me wonder if he's even classified correctly:

"Since different laws may be involved in a particular situation such as a termination of employment, it is possible that the same individual may be considered an employee for purposes of one law and an independent contractor under another law."

I have already advised him that his first order of business on is to call his employer/client and ask for his 1099 and payment. If that fails I have advised him to call the IRS for his 1099 and then the CA DIR to get their take on his classification.

Thank you for your time and any help you can offer. I do appreciate the help!

This is what happens when companies begin to hemorrhage: outsourcing, lay offs, mis-classification of employees, slow paying bills, mass disorganization, disappearing paperwork, et al.

Short answer: Tell him get the hell out of there, now. Guess what comes after slow pay? Paying $0.10 on the dollar. Happened to an HR consultant I know.

Long answer: I have no idea if he is classified correctly. It sounds like he's not. I think you have given him good advice so far; the only other thing I would add is for him to discuss his situation with a tax professional.

I know a little birdy who was taken advantage of in an employee-to-independent-contractor situation who didn't believe he was slowly sinking into debt to the advantage of his "employer/client". It took a serious smacking around from a tax professional to get it through his head that he was screwing himself six ways from Sunday by continuing that work relationship. She was able to lay things out so they made sense to a layperson (whereas I mostly just screeched, "JUST DO WHAT I TELL YOU!!").

Best of luck.

Laurie Ruettimann, sexual harassment and the apocalypse

2009-03-03T07:00:00.000-08:00

Laurie Ruettimann ushered in the apocalypse earlier this week by posting an article about sexual harassment on AOL owned Lemondrop.

You and I both know that

Laurie is awesome
Laurie doesn't need me to defend her

For the record: I think she's dead on.

I also think if people calmed down a little bit, read the entire article, and thought about the core message for a minute or two, they would get that what she is saying makes some serious sense:

You are responsible for your career.
There is no bigger employee advocate than you. Protect your own interests and act accordingly.

And that, my friends, is that.

Must get away from evil boss

2009-02-26T22:31:00.000-08:00

Reader question time again:

After being laid off of a contract position, I was lucky enough to land a full-time job immediately. This job is in my field and is what I thought I wanted to do, but it isn't working out.

The problem is my boss (the owner of the company). He is rude, unprofessional, and has extremely unrealistic expectations. He regularly implies that we are unintelligent and lazy. He expects us to work early mornings, evenings, weekends, and lunch breaks (we are exempt) and tells us that if we start meeting his requirements, maybe we can "only work 40 hour weeks". We haven't received any training and are all entry level workers. We are expected not to have outside commitments, and when we do, he tells us to go late and tell the person we have an appointment with that work is more important.

Let me be straight with you here: I am a hard worker, and I am an adult, so I know sometimes long hours may be required. However, I also know poor management, and this is it. We are not given the tools to succeed and then we are berated for failing. He asks for one thing and we do it, then he tells us, "You should have known I wanted THIS instead," when there truly was no indication (and again, I am smart and can figure things out if they are reasonable).

Recently, I was all but told to shut up during a meeting, and I have seen him do this and worse to others. It's an unhealthy, stressful environment with a management style that DOES NOT work for me, and I am trying to find other employment.

My question, then, is how bad is it going to look to have left a job after a few months? Best case scenario is I get a job ASAP, meaning I'll have worked here 3 months. Even if it's six months or eight months (I hope not), I feel like it looks bad, especially since my previous job was a short-term contract. I am not sure what to tell prospective employers. I have no desire to trash talk my current boss and I know that would look bad, but I am also not "seeking a new challenge" or "trying to move up" either. I could say I'm concerned my position will be eliminated due to the economy - which is a legitimate concern - but beyond that, I'm not sure how to make quitting a short-term job look like anything other than job-hopping or trash-talking.

Recruiters and hiring managers are just people. They are not perfect and most of them have either worked for a-holes or found themselves in a job that was not a good fit for them, for whatever reason. It happens to the best of us, sometimes more than once.

Most likely, you are not going to find a *good* job right away. I could certainly be wrong, and I hope I am. However, I've looked at a gazillion resumes in my time and here is how my inner monologue goes when I see a resume like yours, "Wait, she just got there...is it a contract? No, can't be a contract because her job before this one states that one was a contract so it looks like she is specifying which is which. Hmm guess she is hating the new job. NEXT".

I don't want a rebound relationship. I don't want you to want my company and my position just because the one you're in right now sucks basketballs. See what I mean?

The worst thing to do when you're in a bad situation is panic. Do not jump ship without another job under your belt. Trust me on this. I am saving you thousands of dollars in therapy right now.

Let's say you get past the resume screen and a recruiter or hiring manager calls you up. If they ask why you're looking (and they should), just tell them the truth: You thought the position was going to be one thing and, unfortunately, it turned out to be another.

If you are pressed for details (and you should be), you will have to be more stealthy. Be sincere, not sarcastic. Be professional and not overly familiar, as you would be with your friends. Be matter of fact but not icy or fake. "The job was presented as having occasional overtime, good work life balance, etc etc.........unfortunately I've worked 60 hour weeks since I started, am told to not eat lunch, etc etc and I'm not productive in that type of environment."

This is all true, but sounds better than, "My boss is a piece of shit and I want to scratch his face off". The recruiter will know you're telling the truth and respect you for it (as well as for being professional about it). Depending on what the competition looks like, it may or may not do you any favors....but at least you are telling the truth and dealing with the situation professionally.

That's all I've got for this one. Readers - hit the comments with your suggestions.

Fear and loathing, pretty much everywhere

2009-02-21T22:15:00.000-08:00

Yes, the economy sucks.

Besides that, what is the deal with everyone I know having anxiety issues? I was emailing a friend just now and realized even the most well-adjusted, stable, happy friend I have has at least minor to medium sized Anxiety Issues.

Why?

Do we lack coping skills? Do we just have too much sugar, salt, caffeine, booze, et al in our systems? Are we over or under medicated? Are the bovine hormones we ingest via our steaks effing with our human hormones to create a vicious cocktail? Are we pissing away all of our serotonin?

Dudes, I don't even pretend to know the answer.

Dear Blog: it's not you, it's me.

2009-02-19T14:32:00.000-08:00

Yes, I am avoiding you (kinda).

When I'm feeling fine (or righteous indignation), it's easy to blog. When I feel like this, it's not.

So, what to do? Not much but hang in there.

Staying positive (and sane) while job searching

2009-02-12T13:12:00.000-08:00

I hate to tell you this, but February 28, 2009 will mark my one year anneversary of being an unemployed chump. Sure, I had a temp gig for 4 (excruciating) months, but that doesn't count.

Staying positive (and sane) during a year-long-plus job search is not for the faint of heart. Here are some things I have found helpful:

Keep a schedule
Honestly, keeping a semi-normal schedule does a lot for the anxiety riddled job seeker. It makes you feel like you're in control of something while your life is actually somewhat spinning out of control. I wake up 8am-ish and go to bed 930pm-ish. I go to the gym every other morning. I check my mail box at 5pm. I brush and then floss. You get the idea.

Read, or something
I love to read books, so I'm biased. If you don't like to read, insert another relatively low cost hobby here. Knit, make bathtub gin, garden, draw, do crossword puzzles, yell at kids to get off your lawn. Do something that doesn't involve the computer (since I know you are on it all day....aren't you?). Do something to occupy yourself and get your mind off your joblessness.

Laugh, everyday
Laughing keeps your mood up, is infectious and is a mini-workout for your lungs. I recommend several doses of the ETrade Baby, daily.

Exercise
I know you hate hearing this (as I did after 10 years of being gym-free) but exercise really does make you feel better physically and mentally. I go to the gym every other day, crank up Rage Against the Machine on the iPod and go nuts on the eliptical. Then I do some treadmillin' and some stretching. I feel like a (schweaty) million bucks afterward. Plus it helps me sleep better, makes me crave healthy (well, healthier) food and decreases my feelings of OH MY GOD I'M BROKE AND UNEMPLOYED GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Repeat after me
You will find another job. You will not die because you are unemployed (hopefully). Eventually, somewhere, some way, somehow, you WILL find another job. It may not be the perfect job. The perfect job probably doesn't even exist. But you will find something, and you will be just fine.

Say it, don't spray it

2009-02-02T15:18:00.001-08:00

Dudes, there are some Bloggers out there that are DOIN IT RIGHT. They are laying it down and people are picking it up.

Let's have a show and tell:

Lance Haun of Your HR Guy wants you to SHUT UP ALREADY about the Employee Free Choice Act (EFCA). Sweet Mary Molasses, this is one post about talking about the EFCA that you have to read (ignore all others).

I don't need to tell you that times are tough. There are layoffs and rumors of layoffs and schmucks on Craigslist wanting to hire HR generalists with 5+ years experience for a craptastic $16 an hour. It's almost impossible to make a layoff painless, but Jay Sheperd of Gruntled Employees points his readers to a company that got creative and earned some karma.

Mark Stelzner of Inflexion Point got a wild hair up his rear end and decided since everyone is on Twitter all day anyway, we should use it to start helping people find jobs. Job Angels was born on January 29th and already has 414 followers. If you want to help someone find a job, or if you need help finding a job, follow Job Angels. It's that simple and that brilliant.

Generation Xpert Suzanne Kart reminds us of a very simple tenet that cannot be embraced often enough, no matter where we work. Stop acting like a monkey and start acting like a cheetah - even if the only thing you can control is your reaction to the (irksome) people you work with.

Laurie Ruettimann of Punk Rock HR pointed me to a fantastic shut-up-and-listen type post by Carmen Hudson of PeopleShark. There is a lot of advice out there for job seekers, but Carmen cuts the crap and tells you what is real, what is garbage, and why. It's very refreshing.

And last but certainlly not least, I bring you Kerry Sandberg Scott of Clue Wagon. Kerry is new to the HR blogging world and I must say she has taken it by storm with her post, Meet the Blow it Out Your Ass Guy. With a title like that, you know you're going to read it and love it.

Temp days are over

2009-01-30T08:07:00.000-08:00

When I started my temp job back in October, working again was a bit of a shock to my system.

Now it's the end of January and the gig is over. Time to reflect again? Oh yes, I think so.

I bring you: Things I Will Not Miss About Working (this job in particular and jobs in general, just for giggles).

Really, really bad coffee and powdered creamer.
Being too worn out to drag myself to the gym after work.
Having You Tube videos blocked.
The Mommy and Me group that meets right out side our office Every Single Day.
The urine soaked smelling elevators.

Ah, freedom.

Consequently, I will miss working with my favorite boss & some of the cool people I've met here. And while it's been a bit smelly, working in an office in a shopping mall definitely has its perks.

Dude, where's my benefits?

2009-01-18T19:22:00.000-08:00

Where were we? Oh, yes talking about how great it is to work in HR. A poor waif writes:

I am wondering how you recommend approaching my supervisor about adding benefits to my position and a job description.

Currently I am working full time. When I started 3 months ago, I was only part time, three days a week. At the 2 month point or so they added another day, making 4 days a week. First of this year, they asked me to go full time. However, I still do not have a set schedule of when to come in. I am just coming in when I feel I should each day.

My position is HR on site coordinator. I do everything from recruiting, orientation, managing personnel files, any HR related questions, to payroll for over 100 employees. I really like what I do, it's a great position. In this economy I am glad to have a job. But I also don't want to be a doormat.

The downside, is that the out of state home office is so messed up and poorly managed that there are always errors and repeated mistakes on final pay roll and other important items. There seems to be a lack of final authority, they all think the other one doesn't know what they are doing and acting like the boss. It is a very small company, essentially trying to play with the big boys.

My supervisor has not given me any authority, I just get all the complaints about how poorly payroll is done. I have been here over 3 months and there are always several, if not a dozen mistakes on paychecks. All I do is enter the info on a spreadsheet and the home office does the rest.

Since I started I haven't received a job description, HR manual, or anything that would in any way define what I do or am expected to do. Not because I have not asked, they just do a lot of "oh yeah, we will get that to you soon" kind of stuff.

Do you have any suggestions on how to approach this with my supervisor? I feel that I deserve benefits, I am sure that my supervisor at the home office and everyone else there has some sort of benefit package.

If I were in your shoes, I would call up the boss and tell him/her that you need to know:

1. Who you can contact about getting signed up for benefits.

2. If there is a daily schedule he/she wants you to follow or if you can set your own hours.

3. If there is a job description for your position or if he/she would like you to write one.

4. If there is a standard operating procedure type manual for HR stuffs laying around or if he/she would like you to write one.

5. Who actually runs the payroll so you can discuss employee concerns with him/her.

Then you don't get off the phone until you have a definitive answer for each question or a follow up date as to when you will have a definitive answer (depending on how important these questions are to you).

Notice that in each question above, you are offering a solution instead of a problem. If all your boss hears from you is problems, he or she will avoid you. If he or she hears solutions from you, he or she will seek you out for solutions when they are needed AND he or she is more apt to let you run your own show - because you have shown you're capable of it.

It's like asking a 4 year old what they want to wear to pre-school. You don't ask, "What do you want to wear today?" you ask, "Do you want to wear this outfit or that outfit?" Narrow down the choices and you're more likely to get an answer - and faster.

HR people hardly ever have any authority - and even then it is usually just over their own crew. Get used to having to produce results by persuasion, negotiation, sales skills and a pinch of savvy (and on special occasions, blood and tears).

There is no such thing as talent. Mostly.

2009-01-08T14:24:00.000-08:00

I hate the word TALENT.

Whenever I hear or read the word TALENT, I think of a pink and white striped circus tent with a bunch of acrobats inside.

Those people are talented. Your operations manager? Not so much.

Yeah, yeah, so she's a really good operations manager. Her employees love her and she runs a tight ship that contributes to the bottom line. I'm not saying she's not a good person, I'm saying it's a stretch to refer to her as TALENT.

TALENT has a face and it's not yours:

TALENT is a surgeon that makes over a million bucks a year because she's the only person in the country that can do what she does.
TALENT is an athlete that breaks her ankle mid performance and still scores higher than every other competitor.
TALENT is an author who sells a bazillion copies of her books, even when she writes a stinker.

So shut up about the talent already.

Let's call the operations managers, the admin assistants, the software engineers, the HR generalists what they actually are: good employees. They are good employees that would probably be good at whatever job you taught them to do because they are

Thoughtful & conscientious
Flexible & adaptable and
Honest, hardworking people

Now, stick that in your pipe and smoke it.

Countdown to unemployment

2009-01-07T09:52:00.000-08:00

Folks, the countdown is on.

As of January 30th, I will be unemployed. Again. Yep, the temp job I started in early October is winding down.

So who wants an HR generalist trying to turn into a benefits specialist to work for them in the Portland, Oregon area? Let's see a show of hands!

You can check me out on LinkedIn. You can friend me on The Facebooks. You can offer me copious amounts of money. It's ok. I'll take it.

Time and presents

2009-01-02T14:51:00.000-08:00

I don't make New Year's resolutions, and I don't want to hear any bitching about being a day late with that remark.

Are we clear?

I don't know about you, but if I can't get my fat ass off the couch on a random Tuesday in August, I'm not going to suddenly become Ms. Inspired & Changed for the Better on January 1st.

My motto is, "There is no time, just give me presents."

Or maybe it was "There is no time, just one small present is fine."

Wait....oh, yeah here it is, "There is no time like the present. Now go buy me presents". I think that is something all of us need to embrace, right here, right now.

Breaking news: companies don't walk their talk

2008-12-29T14:41:00.000-08:00

Companies suck sometimes. Take a gander at the latest reader question:

My son works for a large company that diligently avoids written policies and procedures. They say that when they require you to work on a holiday, you can get an alternative day off, but they make it damn difficult to do that. They also make it difficult to take all your vacation days. Therefore, without fail, my son has lost both vacation days and “make up” days for holidays worked. In that he is single, his company often calls upon him to work holidays because he does not have a family to be part of. He DOES NOT receive any additional pay beyond his normal wages when he works a holiday. We live in Colorado. Is there any state of federal law that relates to this behavior?

Short answer: nope.

Long answer: it depends.

First, I don't mean to call your son a fibber, but I would be extremely surprised if this large company didn't have an employee handbook that states how holiday & vacation time are handled. He needs to find a copy and look this stuff up. In my experience, companies usually reward employees that work on holidays with time and a half wages. Federal (and Colorado state) law doesn't require special holiday pay or time off (or vacation, for that matter) unless government contracts are involved.

Second, it doesn't matter if a company has written policies and procedures when they set a clear precedent. It doesn't (generally) matter to the courts or, perhaps more importantly, to employees who have to work under their decrees.

For example, if they a) tell everyone if they work a holiday they can have another day off and b) actually follow through with this for everyone EXCEPT your son, they are obviously breaking their own "unwritten rule" and could be held accountable for discrimination for it IF the reason they are doing it (AND he can prove it) are due to your son's disability, race, creed, color, sex, religion, age (40 or over), national origin, ancestry OR, in the great state of Colorado, sexual orientation. Yay for Colorado!

If they are following the "unwritten rule" for everyone except for your son because he's single & doesn't cause a ruckus, well....that's not illegal. It's like Lindsay Lohan's line of leggings: stupid, but not illegal.

So what should Sonny do?

If it were me, I would do two things:

Put myself in my manager's place and come up with a fair solution.
Talk to my manager about that solution.

It doesn't have to be uncomfortable. He could just say, "Bob, as you know I often work on holidays. My understanding is if I work on a holiday, (insert policy in handbook here). Unfortunately, that hasn't been the case lately; (insert specific example here). I know that you want things to be fair, as I do. Here is a solution I would like to propose: a rotating schedule of who gets "tapped" for holiday work when it's crunch time and a policy that the immediate next day (or Tuesday, whatever) be their day off. That way, we all share the burden." or whatever, etc.

Third, it is neither true nor relevant that single people "do not have a family to be a part of". Your son obviously has a parent that is his family member. I'm single and I have a mom, brother, sister, brother in law, aunt and cousin that I spent Christmas with. Plus I have a bunch of cats - the most important family members of all!

Seriously, even if your son was literally sitting on his couch all day on Christmas, it doesn't matter. Our lives outside of work are none of our employer's business as long as what we do or don't do doesn't harm the company (i.e. drink 2 bottles of champagne before rolling into our forklift driving job). If they try to use that argument with your son, that he's single and therefore doesn't "need" the holiday off, he can rest assured knowing they are not professionals, they don't know WTF they are doing running a business and start looking for a new job ASAP.

Some companies, I tell you, if bullshit were music they would be a brass band.

That's a Dad Quote, by the way.

Kicking the crap out of the benefits world, one test at a time

2008-12-27T15:50:00.000-08:00

I kicked the crap out of my first Certified Employee Benefits Specialist exam today. Group Health Plan Design: I OWN YOU.

I own you so much that I can tell my readers:

It's generally thought of as a bad thing when people who actually need insurance sign up for it; so much so that this concept is referred to as Adverse Selection.

Your (stupid) Wellness Program only has to be HIPAA compliant if you offer incentives based on health status related factors.

Insurance is similar to gambling, except that when gambling you actually have a chance of gaining something.

People in these categories cost a lot more than their counterparts when it comes to dental insurance: older people, women, those in large metropolitan areas, those who make a decent salary & white collar workers.

The Mental Health Parity Act has largely failed to accomplish it's objectives because 87% of complying health plans evaded the spirit of the law by using day and visit limits to maintain unequal benefit levels for mental versus physical disorders.

YAY!

Group Benefits Management: You're on notice as next in line. I'll be seeing you.

International applicants for seasonal work

2008-12-22T09:48:00.000-08:00

Here is a reader question you don't necessarily see everyday:

The company I work for has a seasonal business. Every year we hire lots new "talent" (and I use word in the loosest possible form!) for the season.

Lately, the Hiring Managers keep wanting to hire international applicants. I have no problem with that, we do it every year, but we use an outside program where all we have to do is let them know how many people we need, what departments, etc and then they do the interviewing, and assist the people (always students) to get their work visas (or whatever paperwork it is) and get them over here to work and all that jazz. It doesn't cost us a dime.

So here is my problem, they keep wanting to just hire these random people they meet on their travels, or know for whatever reason.

I know we can't just hire international applicants, it's a detailed and expensive process, that is why we have an outside program to do it. HOWEVER, I cannot seem to explain this to them and they want me to "find out what has to be done" which I already know is nothing short of spending a ton of time and money on someone we don't even know who will be here 2 or 3 months max.

So really, I am asking, how would you handle this? I really want to make a blanket announcement to these people explaining WHY we can't just hire people from other countries off the cuff! Any suggestions?

How about this: when a hiring manager comes to you and says "I would really like to hire Betty whom I met in Bolivia last summer. What do I need to do to make that happen?" you say to her, "Please give me Betty's last name, phone number, email and/or address and I will give it to our program folks so they can contact her and see if we can work it out."

If the program you use isn't cool with that, I would be surprised. Or maybe I wouldn't. The service is free to you, after all. I'm not sure what agency this is or if they are 100% legit as I have never recruited in this manner.

Assuming you have a recruiting strategy that meets the needs of your business, I would create some collateral like a recruiting process flow chart, FAQ & stuff like that and have a 30 minute meeting with your hiring managers to show them how recruiting is done & why and answer any questions or concerns they may have.

Or, you could take the aggressive approach (always an HR favorite) and send out an email to all the hiring managers that says "BACK THE EFF OFF ABOUT HIRING YOUR BUDDIES FROM YOUR TRAVELS OR ELSE!!"

I kid, I kid.

The lovely Kari Quaas, Director of West Coast Ops at Coolworks, blogs for her company at Seasonal Human Resources Blog. Check out her blog & what Coolworks has to offer employers trying to navigate seasonal employment stuffs. They might have some more relevant information for you regarding hiring international applicants for seasonal gigs than I do. The only seasonal thing I've ever done is gut fish in Alaska.

I was in college. Don't ask.

Happy Retail Christmas

2008-12-20T19:25:00.000-08:00

I don't know about you, but back in the day I worked in retail. Yours truly has been a customer service schmuck at the following fine institutions:

Musicland (aka Sam Goody, aka FYE, etc, etc, etc)
KMart
Barnes & Noble (no relation)

Musicland, in the mall, during Christmas, was unbelievably insane. We had the weirdest customers on the planet:

One man, when asked if he was a Washington resident (we're close to Oregon where there is no sales tax), said "No! I'm from Argentina!" (which I would bet $5 was not true). My co-worker replied "Then I will TAX you!" with just as much flourish. Then the man said, "You're going to end up on my operating table!" My co-worker and I were like, WTF?

On Christmas Eve two gangsta girls got into a scuffle at the entrance to our store. The manager and assistant manager physically pried them apart. One screamed at the other, "You're marked, BITCH! You're MARKED!!" The entire store when silent. The manager turned around to face the line of customers that wrapped around the store and said (whilst busting a move) "Tis the season to be a GANGSTA!"

I didn't work at The Big K during the Christmas season, and I thank The Baby Jesus for that small favor, but I did have my share of scary customers regardless:

One woman purchased half dead flowers that were supposed to be half off. The system we used NEVER, EVER got prices right so of course it over charged her. She returned to my line about 10 minutes later to tell me. I apologized and pointed out to her where to obtain an adjustment (the customer service desk handled that stuff). All of a sudden she started kicking my counter and screamed, "WHAT? I HAVE TO BE INCONVENIENCED BECAUSE OF YOUR ERROR??!!" I just stared at her in horror and then she stormed off. I heard her screaming at the customer service desk people and when I looked over, she was pointing at me with an accusing finger.

I worked at Barnes & Noble for an entire year. That is a year of my life I will never get back. No, really, if you're going to work retail, a book store is not a bad choice. While it was way better than Musicland or KMart, it too had it's moments:

I was carrying a large stack of books from the cash register area to the kid's section (where I was assigned). A woman stopped me and said, "Are you busy?" I just looked at her. This question happened all the time at Barnes & Noble for some reason, along with "Where is your copy machine?" and, "Can I get a library card here?" But my favorite was, "Where is your non fiction section?"

I was walking to the ladies room (with my coat on & purse in hand) after my shift and a customer literally stepped in front of me, put both of his hands out as if he was going to grab my arms and said, "You work here. Where is...." I promptly stepped around him and continued walking toward the bathroom. I heard him huff and puff and "What the...!" to himself and just shook my head. A few years later, when the movie Snatch came out, I was reminded of that moment when Brick Top said, "If you stop me again whilst I'm walking, I'll cut your effing jacobs off."

Since it's almost Christmas, here is some more of Brick Top for your viewing pleasure (NSFW):

My inspiration is in hibernation

2008-12-20T18:57:00.000-08:00

You know when you see something on the news or in the paper about unemployment and they always add, "These statistics don't include the unemployed people who have stopped looking for work" and you think to yourself, "who the heck STOPS LOOKING for work?"

Yeah, me too.

But you know what? I think *I've* finally stopped looking.

I get interviews, but not offers. I ask for meaningful feedback, but get brushed off. I try to network, but my mouth fills with sand and my shoes super glue themselves to the sidewalk. I try to pretend that I'm still interested in Human Resources and am fired up to make a change, but honestly....after looking for a job for nine months, I don't give a crap anymore.

And you know what? I'm sort of glad. I'm glad that I don't have to wake up everyday knowing that I have to go someplace broken and help to perpetuate a broken system with broken people in a broken economy in a broken country.

I can just sit here with my kittehs and watch the snow. We have around five inches of the white stuff in the Portland metro area right now. People are driving ATVs down the neighborhood streets.

Maybe I should set up a hot cocoa stand.

Mental health accomodations

2008-12-18T11:18:00.000-08:00

Oh, dudes. Can I just tell you that the *new* Americans with Disabilities Act Amendments Act of 2008 has me a wee bit worried?

Other bloggers have given this topic a nice go-over (see Daniel Schwartz's take at CT Employment Law Blog as well as Michael Moore's at PA Labor & Employment Blog), so I won't repeat all of the details here. But let's take a look at a reader's question about ADA in light of the new amendment, shall we?

I have a couple of medical issues (mental health wise) that have been affecting my job and relations with co-workers. I have been getting worse recently and even got a discplinary action form yesterday. I think a great deal of the problems could be prevented/corrected with some accomodation. Can you tell me, as an HR person, what you think of my accomodation requests below. Are they reasonable? Doable?

1. Time off work to go see a counselor

2. Able to listen to music or a radio at my desk to provide "white noise" and enhance ability to focus

3. Clear, consistent expectations, (perferably written) with deadlines about tasks outside of my normal everyday work assignments.

4. Bi-weekly meeting (or at least email check in) with supervisor to go over goals, problems, etc.

5. Either extension of work day by 30 minutes or some other accomodation so that several times a day I can check online news sources, weather, and personal email. (the last is to maintain contact with support networks and family who understand my issues)

What do you think?

Sorry to hear you are having troubles at work.

The first thing you want to consider is whether or not you actually have a disability under the ADA. Check out the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission's "The ADA: Your Employment Righs as an Individual With a Disability". Pay special attention to the little box in the upper right corner that discusses the Amendment Act of 2008.

Let's assume, for the purpose of this post, you do have a disability that is covered by the ADA and your employer is required to comply with this particular law.

Without knowing what the actual disability is, here is my opinion on your proposed requests for accommodation:

Time off work to go see a counselor - Absolutely reasonable. Time off should only be paid if you have enough time accrued to cover it, however.

Able to listen to music or a radio at my desk to provide "white noise" and enhance ability to focus - Absolutely reasonable as long as it doesn't significantly disrupt your coworkers. If it does, moving your desk (assuming you work in an office) is reasonable as well.

Clear, consistent expectations, (perferably written) with deadlines about tasks outside of my normal everyday work assignments - Reasonable, but subjective in nature. Your idea of clear & consistent may be different from your manager's. The details will need to be nailed down in order for this one to succeed.

Bi-weekly meeting (or at least email check in) with supervisor to go over goals, problems, etc - I'd say this is reasonable for employees who don't need accommodation, let alone ones that do.

Either extension of work day by 30 minutes or some other accomodation so that several times a day I can check online news sources, weather, and personal email. (the last is to maintain contact with support networks and family who understand my issues) - In my opinion, it's not reasonable to ask your employer to pay you overtime so you can use their equipment to perform personal stuff. When it comes to checking the news & weather, how does that accommodate your disability so you can perform the essential functions of your job? Is there are reason due to your disability that you cannot keep in touch with your support network without working overtime? Expect your employer to ask these questions. Better yet, expect them to ask for documentation regarding your disability & "functional limitations" by a health care professional.

Best of luck & let us know how it goes.

Thank you for not being sick

2008-12-11T15:38:00.000-08:00

Remember me? It's the not-posting-lately-HR-Wench here. I've got another reader question (I still have readers?!). Here we go:

I read your blog daily after I discovered it through Alltop a few months ago. I was hoping you might have some input on this issue or maybe reach out to your readers to see what other companies do.

The corporation I work for has several somewhat segregated divisions. The division that I manage HR for is primarily administrative, management and executive staff. The other divisions are manufacturing based. We offer accrued paid vacation time, front loaded floating holidays and front loaded sick days.

I have recently received feedback from management that they would like to see some sort of un-used sick time incentive plan. Because sick time is front loaded at the beginning of every year, employees cannot hold anymore than the 56 hours allocate to them annually. Obviously, we have some employees who have absued this benefit and we handle these circumstances with corrective action plans for poor performance/attendance.

For the employees who are not abusing the benefit they feel they should be incentivised or awarded in some way. I don't want to encourage employees not to use sick time because people should use it when they are genuinely sick (that's what it's for). But I also want to offer a small "thank you" for being healthy and coming to work. We were thinking an incremented gift certificate based on the number of hours they still have left, a small cash award, or something that would encourage good health.

Any suggestions or ideas to implement this program in a fair balanced way?

Honestly? Vacation divided from sick time annoys me. I'm all about Paid Time Off (PTO) systems where sick and vacation is combined into one big, hairy mass. Less administration that way.

It kind of makes me nervous that you want to "offer a small 'thank you' for being healthy and coming to work." I think I know what you mean - that use it or lose it benefits such as this one don't seem valuable to those who don't use it, and you want to create more value for them. After all, they're at work & working, right?

But people shouldn't be rewarded for not being sick or even rewarded for coming to work even though they are sick.

Compensation & reward professionals would tell you to focus on what type of behavior you are trying to motivate prior to creating a reward. So, maybe that is the best way to look at this. While I don't think providing a benefit and then taking it away, or lessening it, is EVER a good idea, maybe instead of offering so much sick time you should offer bigger raises or bonuses based on performance.

After all, isn't performance what it's all about? At the end of the day, who cares who was at work, if they didn't perform work? Governer Blagovich probably came to work most days & didn't use all of his sick time, and look at the mess he made.

If you want a straight answer, without all of the commentary, I say if you MUST, just pay out the unused sick time at the end of the year. Don't make a big hoopla about it, but DO run an analysis prior to making this decision. How much money are we talking about and can each department's budget take the hit? What will you gain from doing this? What are you paying cash money for? You best have those ducks in a row prior to meeting with the CFO, yo.

Outsourcing & Scheming Managers

2008-12-01T15:27:00.000-08:00

Speaking of layoffs, here is the latest in the Ask HR Wench series:

I have worked for a company for over 20 years in the IT department. Recently our IT department was outsourced to a major IT sourcing company. Prior to the outsourcing our department was whittled down to a skeleton crew.

The outsourcing company held an information session with each employee including the managers. The result was the two managers and one of my junior peers were retained by the outsourcing company and assigned IT support roles. One of the managers is my manager. I wear many hats for the company in our IT department one of which is IT system support.

My manager is very smart but insecure. What I think happened is he talked up the junior colleague because he was concerned that my skills would over shadow his skills and he did not want to compete with me for a job.

My concern is that they kept the manager for a job that I have been doing all along. I was told I would be laid off. Basically they kept the manager and let me go. I am well respected by my manager and users. I have as much knowledge if not more than my manager and I am cheaper. So it does not make sense why they kept him considering budgetary constraints.

Is there any laws against manager protectionism and is this a common story?

It's very possible that your manager had something to do with the fact that you are being laid off instead of absorbed by the outsourcer. It's also very possible that he didn't, and the outsource company made the decision on their own according to how they felt you would or would not fit into their organization (skills or personality wise).

It's possible that you are more expensive than your manager. You never know. Some individual contributors make a heck of a lot more than their managers due to technical aspects of the job, comissions or simply because they've been at a company that rewards tenure (instead of just performance) for a bazillion years.

Let's say you make less than your manager and unbeknownst to the outsourcer have been carrying your manager's weight for years. Here is what you do: make sure your parting is amicable & professional and the hiring manager at the outsourcer has your number should he or she need any assistance in the transition or future. Leave that door wide open as you go on your merry way to the unemployment line.

Actually, file online. It's much faster.

Anyways, let the outsourcer worry about the cost and quality of work they will get out of your manager. If they realize down the line that they should have chosen you, they can call you up and make you an offer. If not? Water under the bridge.

My point is: don't allow these types of things to live rent free in your head. They will make you crazy & bitter and affect your interviewing with other companies. A decision has been made and it's done. Time to move on.

As far as "manager protectionism" goes...there is no law that I know of that addresses this issue, unless we're talking about a manager willfully and negligently breaking a law and then trying to cover it up. For example, if your manager told the outsourcer that they shouldn't hire you because you're a terrible employee but was lying and only told them that because your Jewish and he is an anti-semite, THEN there is a legal issue. Of course, you would have the burden of proof when it comes to taking him and/or the company to court.

I hear about employees that "carry" managers all the time. It happens everywhere. Sabotaging managers, psycho managers, micro managers, passive aggressive managers....the list goes on. When companies outsource and the outsourcer doesn't absorb all of the former staff, it always gets ugly. Always. It's like your mom telling your sibling they are her favorite. It sucks.

Finding thankfulness

2008-11-27T20:31:00.000-08:00

I'm not going to blow smoke up your caboose. It's hard for me to be in a thankful mood this Thanksgiving.

Knowing that I'm a child of privilege, I'm reminding myself to shut up & stop feeling sorry for myself for at least a day. So here are some things I'm thankful for:

I can find something online, everyday, to make me laugh out loud.
Gas is only $1.88 a gallon at my nearest service station.
While only temporary, I do have a job that will last through the holidays.
I got called for jury duty, so I might actually have something to do come January.
There have been spots of sunshine peaking out between the rainy days.
I'm making a difference in the lives of foster children by volunteering as a CASA.
My brother in law, formerly of the UK, now lives in the US and found a great job.
My mom cooks a heck of a turkey (and pretty much everything else, too).

Last but not least, I'm thankful I have this blog and a community among my readers. Thanks, everybunny.