C+C

My Worst Nightmare- oh Texas, let me count thy ways...

2009-11-11T15:20:00.000-08:00

Today I had to face my biggest fear. As if I don't already feel like a prisoner in my own home, since there are 200 mosquitoes hanging out (literally, that is a conservative estimate) in my front door and back door areas... We usually only let people in and out of our garage for a better quarantine area... And I only open my garage when I must, as in, I am leaving with a stroller, or car.

Well today it happened. I put Claire in the car, then opened the garage door to leave this cursed property, and in to my perfectly clean garage slithers a perfectly UNWELCOME snake. Spawn of Satan. My heart raced right up to my throat as I thought for a second before running to get a broom. I swept at him and yelled at him until he went into the bushes out front. I got into my car just to have another semi-heart attack as I saw the chord that you plug the iPhone into to play music through the car stereo; anything long and black was making me jump a mile.

Rough couple of minutes. I hate being so on edge here, like I'm in survival mode. I saw a snake last week in the driveway/grass, and that was bad enough. Then I ran 2.5 miles being chased by thousands of mosquitoes on Sunday. Claire even got bitten 3 times, WITH a stroller cover on! AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! I am trying really hard to have a good attitude about where we live, b/c we have 2 years left... But it is rough some times. Today is one of those times. It's 80 degrees in mid-November and I just long for fall. I long to go outside at any hour of the day and not be eaten alive. Is that too much to ask?

And people ask why we travel so much... Dear Lord, have mercy.

Using your gifting... (or not)

2009-11-08T11:10:00.000-08:00

Do any of you know what you are interested in and good at, and yet not utilize your talents? Be it from lack of time or opportunity? How do you deal with that?

Today I found myself in tears on the way home from church. Part of the sermon about 1 Corinthians 12 stirred me. The pastor spoke a small side note about the loss experienced when you aren't using your gifting, which resonated with me. After the past 10 years living around the country, in volunteer and paid positions in ministry, I know what I'm good at and passionate about. And I had grand hopes after seminary of entering a position at a church or a hospital, to bless others and be blessed as I served.

The past year has looked quite different than that.

This is not to complain... In so many ways, this has been a very rich season of life. Though Texas is our "wilderness," even the wilderness is full of life! After a rough beginning, we found our rhythm as parents, and truly I couldn't enjoy Claire more. Staying at home with her is a gift. She is a great baby and I'm grateful to have the chance to love her and get to know her. She is going to be one cool and powerful person, and we are lucky to be able to steward her life. She is wild, Carlos thinks she's just like me. We are going to be given a run for our money if so... Need to harness that energy. And I feel partially fulfilled in being her mom.

Yet, in the stillness, I know that I am not using all the gifts I was created with in full... and I feel a loss in that. I have tried to use my gifts in different capacities, with new student pilots and their wives, with new moms, with neighbors, with friends. I have entered into the depths with people in tragedy, going through divorce, facing lay-offs, or monumental hurdles in their personal lives. God can always use a willing heart to serve. I was asked to take a position in Los' squadron, we were asked to lead a Marriage Enrichment group... we are discovering the rhythm or work and volunteering coupled with parenthood; it's quite different than when we were single, with only ourselves to consider!

I just don't want to get stagnant. I don't want to atrophy. The best analogy I can think of is of a race horse, who is trapped in it's stall. I am chomping at the bit, but I have nowhere to go. And my muscles are atrophying from being stuck. So those of you who are so inclined, please pray that I will not get complacent or forgetful of my passions during this interesting season of life. In the day in and day out humdrum of life, it is easy to ignore the depths of your heart and what really makes you on fire. At least it is for me. But I met a girl a couple of weeks ago, a college student who is home for a break from school. She is hurting, because her brother tragically died recently. Another brother just left for the Middle East. I barely know her yet, but in meeting her, all these things started stirring in me, and if she allows me to get to know her, I can't wait to lavish her with love. Meeting her reminded me who I am and what I'm good at. So I hope.

And I hope that you have people in your life who remind you who you are. We are not defined by our present circumstances, but something, someone much greater.

You have to start somewhere.

2009-11-08T11:09:00.001-08:00

So I'm starting here.

For Joe and Bret

2009-11-03T20:10:00.000-08:00

REMEMBER THE RANGERS

Tragedy and Grace: If His Grace is an Ocean, We're all Sinking...

2009-11-01T12:59:00.000-08:00

Do you ever walk around somewhere, like a grocery store, or a mall, or somewhere public, and wonder how people can feel joy when you feel like the world is falling apart? I do.

My heart broke this week as not one, but TWO military casualties happened in this country. War is one thing, but when training squadrons have accidents in our homeland, that is devastating in a different way... I remember each time Carlos left for the middle east/Asia in our last duty station I would kind of hold my breath for the months he was gone... A deep sadness would come over me on the day he left, not knowing if I'd ever see the love of my life again... And every time he came back, I could relax again, thanking God for his return.

Being stationed down here at a training squadron, I never even contemplated his life being in danger. But he flies a plane. Planes are amazing. But dangerous. And things can go wrong in planes. I forgot that. Until this week... Many of our friends know the two pilots who were killed here, and some even know members of the Coast Guard/Marines crash in California... Though I didn't know them personally, my heart grieves, knowing that there is a wife here, going to bed each night, and touching her pregnant belly, knowing that her husband will never again sleep beside her, and her baby will never meet it's daddy, nor will her toddler get to jump up into daddy's arms again... Elsewhere, there is a highschool sweetheart who was just engaged to the other Lieutenant who died. She won't get to wear white, walk down the aisle, and look into her love's eyes, imagining forever. All of her hopes and dreams and plans were dashed in an instant. Not to mention countless friends and family members who are aching...

So my heart is sad. Claire and I were supposed to go to Seattle for 10 days, but after this happened, we decided to stay here with Los. It was good to be together as a family, and we drove up to Houston for a night. We had the hard talk about what would happen in the future and for Claire (and future kids) if either of us, or both of us died. That was tear-inducing, to say the least. We made a list of friends whom we admire around the country and who could raise our baby in a way that we are in-line with. If you made the cut, you'll be getting a call:)

On our drive, I spent some time listening to the lyrics of the Crowder Band's new cd. Why do they always coincide album releases with huge things that happen in our lives? Anyway, sitting under the lyrics of How He Loves, I was/am really wrestling with the line, "if His grace is an ocean, we're all sinking..." Sinking is too visceral an image, given that these pilots just sunk into the Gulf and Pacific. I don't want to sink. I don't want to drown. I want to wear arm floaties:) I want to remain safe. At all costs. Which can translate at times into not putting my trust in God. You have to surrender a lot to sink. And you may have to suffer. Will have to suffer. I know God suffered, and is with us in our suffering, I felt that acutely on Thursday as we had a gathering at Oso Creek for the lost pilots. Many tears were shed and God's presence was palpable amidst the pain...

So it's a sad week in our community... Hugging my hubby and babe just a little bit tighter and thankful for each day of life with them.

Please pray for the two families here...

2009-10-29T08:46:00.000-07:00

Claire has been sleeping almost 14 hours... maybe she's as reluctant to face this day as I am. So sad about the T-34 crash here yesterday, and hard to go on as normal, knowing that 2 daddies didn't come home to their beds last night and their kids don't get to see them today...
http://www.caller.com/news/2009/oct/29/navy-instructor-pilots-and-training-plane-not/

Hawaii Photos

2009-10-26T09:29:00.000-07:00

You can see them HERE!

We are so proud!

2009-10-13T08:33:00.000-07:00

href="">

Like German Shepherds? Thinking of getting a dog?

2009-10-08T22:01:00.000-07:00

A German Shepherd rescue group called Camp Wolfgang , in Ennis , Texas is closing down because of family issues on 31 October. I don’t have any additional details, other than they are closing their doors.

All the dogs are vetted, spayed/neutered, micro-chipped, well cared-for and many have had training.

They have nearly 200 dogs that must find a foster or be adopted before 31 October or they will have no choice but to euthanize them all.

I am shocked by this and I hope you are too.

If you cannot help by fostering or adopting...YOU CAN STILL HELP!!!

Please forward this information to everyone you know...if we all forward this to everyone we know, chances are good that many of these dogs can be saved!

They do not need or want donations, they simply MUST place all of the dogs.

Adoption fees are $75.00, free to verifiable rescue groups.

Current dogs: (approximate)
120 German Shepherds
2 Akitas
1 Anatolian/Great Pyrenees
4 Purebred Rottweiler
1 Great Dane/Lab
1 Boxer/Mastiff
1 St. Bernard/Akita
1 WolfDog
45 Other mixed breeds

Time is of the essence!!

If you know anyone who can adopt, accept a dog into their rescue, or help in any way, contact Neisha Livengood, Kennel Master at Camp Wolfgang.

Neisha Livengood
windigo1966@yahoo.com
phone: 214-755-1627
Camp Wolfgang
6234 FM 879
Ennis , Texas 75119
www.campwolfgang.petfinder.com

TRAVEL= what we do best

2009-09-23T10:29:00.000-07:00

It's been a long time since I've updated this blog... having an infant will do that to ya... We are exploiting her immobile season by traveling a heck of a lot... We started off small, going to Austin for the 4th of July when she was three weeks old. That instilled confidence in me in this new season of life. We then went to Houston when she was 6 weeks old...

Next came the flying season, oh dear Lord was I nervous for her first flights! She wailed with the best of them when the rude security guy in San Antonio made her get out of her carseat, where she was comfortably slumbering, to go through security. But, like a champ, she conquered the first 4 flights to the west coast and back. We had a great time introducing her to extended family in CA and Vegas.

Next up is a spontaneous trip to NYC. We'll see Los' brother and my aunt, and one of my childhood friends, as well as a high school friend who's in town. Looking forward to that! It will be special to take Claire to where my mom grew up and the stables where her horse lived...

Then we go back to Austin for the eponymous music festival, going to see Dave Matthews Band, Mute Math and some other fun shows...

After that is a trip to Hawai'i! My first! Claire is experiencing all these firsts way ahead of me, such as when we rode in a limo to In-n-Out in Vegas... I'm a bridesmaid for beautiful Amie, Claire's best auntie, and if Claire could walk, then she'd be in the wedding too. But her job is to just sit there and look cute, which she has down pat.

After Hawai'i, we are travelling to Seattle for 10 days! Because why trick or treat in your own time zone? We are looking forward to her meeting all of our friends there! Especially excited that Shannon will be in town from Florida with one of her newborn twins!

After Seattle, we'll go back to Houston to spend Thanksgiving with some lovely friends.

And lastly we'll return to Seattle for 10 days for Christmas... By then she may be starting to crawl, and after that, I'll be putting travel on hold for a while:) Hope to see you somewhere along our journeys?!

Carpe diem.

SEATTLE-ITES: anyone looking for a place to rent?

2009-08-31T17:33:00.000-07:00

Dear friends in Seattle,
If any of you are looking for a place to rent this fall, our best friends are listing their beautiful, remodeled home on Queen Anne! It's a 2/1 in a great location, and they're asking $2000/month. If any of you want their contact info, write or call us and we will message you with it!

Claire's First Book

2009-08-25T23:02:00.000-07:00

Click here to view this photo book larger

Our Daughter likes to talk! Imagine her as a teenager...

2009-08-24T21:05:00.000-07:00

">Claire's Post Bath Babble

Maybe she'll be an Olympian after all?

2009-08-19T21:36:00.000-07:00

Before she was born, we decided that Claire would become a swimmer: good cardiovascular exercise without the high-impact on joints, etc. Plus, let's be honest here, swimmers don't usually have big boobs. Can I write boobs? Is that awkward? Anyway, so we decided we'd promote swimming, and she could choose whatever other activities she wants along the way...

It turns out that our smily baby likes the water as much as her Pisces mom! We started taking her in the pool this week (10 weeks old) and here are a few shots of day one, plus her cute bikini from the Moseley's- thanks Ainsley/Elise!!

It turns out that activity in the pool makes for GREAT NAPS afterwards as well!! Hooray for that. She was so tuckered out yesterday and today that she even fell asleep before we got home from the pool (which is like a 50 yard walk, 5 houses down...)

Chunky Monkey Evans- our fat 2 month old baby

2009-08-07T16:56:00.000-07:00

We pray biblical things over Claire all the time, for her future; as she grows in age, may she grow in grace... One concept she already has down is mercy. She was merciful to me upon arrival, that is for sure. When she was born, her head was in the 25th percentile. Her weight was in the 30th percentile, and her length was in the 54th percentile. Small easy baby to give birth to.

NOW, just a mere two months later, her head is in the 95th percentile, her length is in the 97th and her weight is in the 100th percentile!!! She has grown almost 4 inches and gained 6.5 lbs. Babies generally double their birthweight around 4-6 months... Claire will probably do it by 2 1/2! This is wild, I feel like we've watched her grow at warp speed, never in her life will she grow as much as this first year... And all the growing has left her much more content than she was at 6lbs, 15oz.

Once she was 6 weeks and had packed some weight on, she was able to start sleeping through the night; another merciful act. Right now she's sleeping from about 11pm-5 or 6 am, taking a 1/2 hour feed; and then going back to sleep until around 11am. She's got her 3 naps during the day down as well, ending with one in the stroller, while I walk at 8pm. She and I have logged 40 miles in the past 2 weeks! Here are some recent photos of our little chunky monkey; life is sweet with her, she has even won over her daddy with her coos and snuggles and smiles. I love watching them together!

Which Kid Do We Love Most? The human or the dog?

2009-07-31T16:01:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday Burly Bear, our favorite kid.
Pre-Claire beach and home lounging...

The World's Best Dog, Burlington Philippe Evans, call sign: Tornado, turns 3 today. We are celebrating him and loving him even more now that he's the best big brother to Claire. He snuggles with her all day and is always curious about her, he even takes naps in her nursery. The verdict is still out which kid we love more, but we both lean towards him. I'm sure this will change, and it's a good thing Claire won't remember us saying we love the dog more than her; but it's true...

iPhone help

2009-07-31T15:57:00.000-07:00

Can anyone tell me HOW to post videos we are taking of Claire on our iPhones?

Before giving birth I didn't realize...

2009-07-13T14:29:00.000-07:00

(this one is for all the moms out there)
One month ago I didn't realize:
The value of having grandparents close by, and what a loss it is not to have them close daily...

How close this experience would make me to my own mom...

That multiple days could pass (at first) without me leaving our house...

That 20 pounds could disappear in one week! Amen...

That I could survive without a full night's sleep, getting conditioned to shorter stretches...

That I would "hear" my baby's cry, even when she was sound asleep...

That I would be able to walk a 5K less than a month after giving birth...

That taking a 4 hour road trip by myself with an infant could be possible...

That my bad (fast) driving wouldn't change with my new precious cargo, bummer...

That going to the bathroom (TMI) could be scary at first and such a challenge with stitches:)

That bras were made in a size H! Uggh.

That something as natural as breastfeeding would be so hard for me, and that something as stupid as low milk production could make me feel like a failure in life.

But that supplementing would be the course we have to take.

And seeing a 10 pound, one month old, asleep in her crib would be the most beautiful sight ever.

Lots of stuff I didn't realize til this past month... I could go on (like how fast/high weeds grow in a month in my yard in the summer) I am glad to know that life goes on post-baby. We've taken Claire to restaurants, churches, grocery and clothes shopping, a baseball game, the beach, all over Austin, etc. Not bad for less than 5 weeks of life.

Baseball is ticket to traveling the world- sweet article about my little brother

2009-07-12T14:06:00.000-07:00

Baseball is ticket to traveling the world
Published online on Saturday, Jul. 11, 2009
By Matt James / The Fresno Bee
For 50,000 rupiah, you can eat as if you're on death row: shrimp, lobster, beers until the bartender suffers carpal tunnel syndrome.

Rupiah is how you buy things in Indonesia, and 50,000 rupiah is worth about $5. You can feast for five bucks, and go nowhere near a Dollar Menu. Financially speaking, if you could commute cheaply from your current job to a home in Indonesia, you would be in much better shape.

Whitney Pierce went to Southeast Asia with a few hundred bucks and, well, he didn't live like a king, but he made it quite a while. For $2 a day, he slept in a hut on a beach in Thailand. He surfed in Bali. He caught a ride on an elephant.

Pretty much everyone who dreams of making it big in professional sports has to wake up eventually. "It's a numbers game," as Pierce says, and he's right. For every guy who made it, there are 1,000 who didn't because of a bad knee or bad luck or a bad attitude.

And lets face it, somebody has to be not quite good enough, right?

Pierce was a dreamer. He still is, though baseball reality long ago slapped him across the face. He graduated from Clovis West High in 2000 and went to Cuesta College to play catcher. He was drafted by the Baltimore Orioles in the 32nd round and then turned down a scholarship from Lewis-Clark College to turn pro. (The Orioles promised him $10,000 for tuition down the road.)

It went like a lot of minor league baseball stories go, three years of playing in towns in Florida and West Virginia and Maryland, until the Orioles released him in 2005. The Chicago Cubs organization picked him up for two months, then Pierce injured his hamstring and headed for independent baseball, the Gateway Grizzles of the Frontier League and the Chico Outlaws of the Golden League.

And when it came time to move on, when his mind and gut told him he would never make the big leagues, that it was time to do "real-life stuff," Pierce instead got another chance. This time, baseball would show him the world.

After the 2006 season, he already had gotten a couple of jobs in San Diego, one at a gym, another doing part-time construction. He'd never had a job before, never done anything but baseball. It felt pretty suffocating.

It was about that time, Pierce got an e-mail from a baseball team in Switzerland. They wanted to fly him to Europe, give him an apartment, pay his living expenses and give him travel money. And all he had to do was play baseball and do a little coaching now and then.

It seems there was a man putting the profiles of out-of-work American baseball players on his global scouting Web site. The guy even called Pierce to ask if he could represent him.

Pierce is certainly not your average young person, let alone baseball player, massive curly hair and a lot more free spirit than most. His parents are that way, too. His dad, Greg Pierce, is a teacher at Roosevelt High. His mother, Randy Robinson, is a psychologist. (Of his mother's job, Pierce says, "That's why I'm so normal and have such good people-talking skills.") They had dubbed him "Whitney" before they knew whether he was a boy or a girl, named for Mt. Whitney. When asked why parents would name a baby after a mountain, the normally outgoing and hysterical Pierce quickly gets quiet and says, "No comment." Ah, got it.

Before Switzerland ever e-mailed, Pierce already had traveled all over Southeast Asia by himself, backpacking and camping, eating the mysterious, living on a few hundred bucks. So, of course, he said yes, even if the Swiss baseball and the pay were equally terrible.

After that season in Europe, he got to thinking, if there's bad baseball here, there has to be bad baseball other places. And then he was playing in Germany for a season and then Australia for a season and then he was picked up by a team in the Netherlands. He hit in the lineup alongside a garbage man and a student from the Czech Republic.

"I've had baseball buy my plane tickets to six different countries," he says.

At age 27, his passport says he's visited more countries than most Americans have visited states. Luxembourg was No. 23. France was No. 24.

Some parents would be lecturing about education and responsibility and getting a job that pays, but his tell him how lucky he is.

"If it wasn't for my family," Pierce says, "I would have been in San Diego doing regular jobs. They've just said, Go do this. Go do this while you can."

He's been to the Eiffel Tower, hiked the Swiss Alps, visited Angkor Wat, the famous temples in Cambodia. Sure, he could do all this later, but the question is a good one: Would he?

"Is anyone really going to do that now that they've got a job and a kid and a wife?" he asks.

He could do this forever. There will always be another team and another league and another country. He could drag his guitar all over the world to play ball. A Division 3 team in Holland offered to put him in a hut above a beer factory in a league that uses aluminum bats once a week.

A lot of kids go to college and supposedly get ready for life. Whitney Pierce went to life and got ready for college. He might play ball another season or two, but he's ready to go back to school.

"The first time I went, I didn't really want to be there," he says. "I wanted to play baseball. I wanted to talk to girls and party. This gap in my life has me ready for school."

I'm convinced Pierce was in school all along. A really great field trip.

One Month Old

2009-07-09T20:31:00.001-07:00

Well our little missy is one month old today. I can't believe I've made it this far. It has been a rough transition, to say the least. We think Claire is the world's most perfect little creature, and yet we've had fleeting homicidal thoughts. She has made me feel more deeply in love, and more crazy than ever. What a wild month. I will post some pics soon, maybe tomorrow? After all, she did just get her second bath of the month, she's clean... She now weighs 10lbs!! 9lbs, 15oz. to be exact, but I round up. That is a gain of 3lbs. since her lowest weight. If she stays at this speed, she'll be 43 lbs by her birthday:) Let's hope she slows down... She's gained so much probably because we've been supplementing with formula, and she's gone through a few growth spurts where she was throwing down 5oz. a feeding, and does nothing but sleep and eat, pretty good life.

Not being able to solely breast feed has been really tough on me, I have felt like a "failure" since my milk supply never matched her demand. This has been the biggest headache of the past month, even though we've met with 2 lactation consultants and tried special herbs and I've pumped more than the local dairy... Many a tear has been shed over this issue, but the bright side of this whole situation is that at least our girl is healthy and thriving.

It was REALLY good for me to take her on a road trip up to Austin the past weekend (Thursday-Monday). I go a little crazy when I stay home all day, and if there's anything I'm good at, it's road-tripping. Of course the 3.5 hour trip took longer with a baby to feed and a dog in tow, on a 100 degree day. But we made it! And they travelled like champs. It was restorative to get out of town for the first time since our trip to Seattle in March (I didn't feel like traveling much the last 2 months of the pregnancy) and going to a city that we love for 4 nights was awesome (free- courtesy of your tax dollars, thank you very much). Los flew there and got in an hour after we arrived. I picked him up at a special airport for private planes and famous people (ever wonder why you never see them in the airports? I just found out, they don't have to travel with the masses, lame) My mom (our nanny, best gift ever!) flew in to hang out with Claire, and Los and I got to go on our first post-partum date. We went kayaking and to lunch at a popular Austin restaurant... Then we met Kiesha and Dave for dinner and we got to listen to the symphony's outdoor performance and watch fireworks over the river (the Colorado river goes through town) that night. We did a lot of shopping and went to church at Austin Stone (the church Chris Tomlin used to be at)- big fans! Both times we've taken Claire to church it has been really moving for me; praying over her little life is one of our favorite things to do, and holding her little hand with one of my fingers, while singing, was really special...

All in all a GREAT weekend, I mean, someone else even got to vacuum up all of puggy's hair! What could be better than that?

Little CB is 3 weeks old... time for a ROAD TRIP.

2009-07-01T14:33:00.000-07:00

She will never be 6, 7, or 8 pounds again... kind of sad. She's starting to really fill out her NB size clothes, but still a bit too small for the 0-3 month size. I am driving with her and Burly (and no Los!) to Austin tomorrow; pray for me:) I'm nervous to take her so far by myself. Los is flying a plane up there to meet us for 3 nights. AND my mom spontaneously bought a ticket and is also flying into A-town. It will be awesome to celebrate the 4th of July there.

We're all doing the FREEDOM 5000, 5K. I will be walking with the stroller... And that night, along with over 100,000 of our closest neighbors, we'll hear a free performance of the Austin Symphony on the lake next to downtown, followed by the requisite fireworks show. Exciting. Kiesha and Dave are headed up there too, and we are excited to play in Austin for the long weekend. I love it there. I just hope traveling with an infant is not too challenging! You can see more photos of ClaireHERE.

Entering the Parent 'Hood

2009-06-25T17:15:00.000-07:00

So two weeks after miss Claire Dahlia's birth, I am happy to report that my head is above water. Even without grandparents. I was scared to death of my parents leaving and Los going back to work; but it has gone much better than I thought. Mercifully, Claire sleeps awesome at night, so after my first day solo-parenting; she allowed me 9 (!!!) hours of sleep. In chunks, obviously, but still.. Thank you Jesus! I've been running errands in the afternoon, since Claire isn't so much into her afternoon naps, but a ride in the car or shopping cart/car seat does the trick.

She is becoming quite the porker. After slipping down into the 6lb. range, she gained 2 POUNDS by her two week checkup. That's a 1/3 of her weight, crazy... On the one hand, I'm so happy she's thriving. On the other hand, I'm already getting sad that she's growing so quickly. Before she was born, I used to buy her all these clothes and stare for long periods at her closet, imagining the little girl that would grow into all those outfits. Yesterday, at Target, I bought her a sleeper for a year from now. As I looked at the discrepancy between the NB size, and 12 months size, I got so sad. She's going to get big so soon. My sweet little baby is going to grow up so fast. Now when I look at her closet, I am sad.

All that to say, when 2am and 5am feedings roll around, or she cries, and I am fatigued; I am trying to remember that this season of life is SO SHORT. Before I know it, she won't be nursing; so I should savor the time together... She is so beautiful and so tiny and so soft, and I want to savor this season while it is here; not wish for the next season... How often do we miss the treasures of today, because our sights are set on tomorrow?

Not to paint the picture of perfection, as we've had our low moments the past couple weeks as well, so I'll throw in a fave quote: to a crying Claire, late at night, "I just want you to be happy." Los, "Not me, I just want you to shut up." And to match his humanity, I definitely already dropped an F-bomb. In regards to a two week old. Classy. Low moment. Amazing how someone only 8 pounds can break the will of two grown ups:)

So that's the update for now, pics to follow...

Impending doom, I mean parenthood- AARRRGGGGHHHH MATEY! Walk the plank!

2009-06-08T05:36:00.001-07:00

In honor of my mom, who is flying to TX for the 3rd time this year, today (and let's be honest, it won't be the last time, she's fired up to be a grandma, and it's NOT cheap or convenient to get here)- an analogy. My mom lives for metaphors, says approximately 1 per waking minute and can not relate to humans who do not have this capacity. While I harass her for the incessant need to make an analogy out of ev-er-y-thing, truthfully, I love an apt metaphor as much as anyone else. They take intelligence/creativity to form, and when I read one that's spot on in a book, I have the urge to highlight it or fold the corner of the page down. I don't do it, but I have the urge. Anyway, so the metaphor I came up with in bed...

I feel as though I am walking the plank today, off the ship of my life, into the tumultuous and mysterious waters of parenthood beneath. I don't know how to swim. I am afraid I'll drown. I can't see the bottom, the water is murky, unlike pools, which I prefer to ocean (for cleanliness alone- clearly the sand and sound of waves are superior). I know that God, and prayer, and countless hosts of other parents will be lifeboats, life vests, lifeguards, you name it, for us... I'm grateful for that. But it doesn't take away my feeling of fright over the imminent and permanent change. I loved our boat, it was fun, adventurous and safe, not to mention all I've ever known- it has been a good ride the past 30 years. That all changes today. So pray for us as we walk the plank and jump into the unknown adventures that await us. We read Scripture in Claire's nursery and prayed for her and our family last night, we are ready to meet her. So here we go...

Pregnancy Schizophrenia and Tattoos

2009-06-07T13:36:00.000-07:00

When I found out I was pregnant, no one told me not to be attached to my due date. So rather than putting my weight down on June 3 or 5, I even went as far as telling myself Claire was coming in May. Then May ended, and I was bummed. For a pretty superficial reason (I wanted her to be able to bring cupcakes to her classroom and to be sang to on her day), but I was bummed nonetheless.

I'm not sure schizophrenia is the proper term, in fact, it probably isn't; but I have felt like I had a split-personality lately. In week 38 I was positive I wanted to induce 10 days early, as early as the doc would let me:) Then Los and I talked and I took that stance back. It felt a little bit like we were trying to play God to pick her birthdate and force it to be early. "Okay, let's wait to her due date to induce," was plan b... However, when we reached that mark, I had started to lean toward letting Claire stay inside as long as she wanted... After all, what if she's small and needed the extra time to grow? We were hoping for an 8 lb. baby, and she certainly wouldn't have been if we'd taken her out early. That is, if the sonographers were right (she was predicted to be right at 7.5 lbs from her bone measurements).

Now at 41 weeks I don't want to be induced, I am not that uncomfortable and don't mind her hanging out inside a bit longer, but now the OB is saying it's time to get the show on the road. Funny how we've switched places from me asking her and her hesitating to me hesitating at her request:)

This is me at 41 weeks preggo. I never thought I would get to this place, but my due date came and went this past week, and apparently my body and Claire have zero interest in parting ways. Unfortunately for both of them, my doctor does have an interest in us parting ways. So since I have not progressed at all and am almost a week past due, we are going to induce TOMORROW. Woah. I am the highest candidate for a c-section possible, so that is a bummer... Let's hope that my body takes to the stuff it is given and progresses tomorrow night and Tuesday!

So this may be the last post- pre our family expanding... We have had a sweet time together, enjoying all these "extra" days before life as we know it changes... We've slept in, been to movies (UP and The Hangover), we've been out to eat multiple times, I got a pedicure (pink!) and massage, we've organized the crap out of our house (all those projects we were saving for "some day" got done), and we've had fun with Burly at the beach, see below. Also, Los took the first step of his long-time goal of inking himself. He took the monogram Joel designed for our wedding and had it put on his heart. When he first told me about wanting a tattoo, I was super anti, but over the years the idea has grown on me to the point that I was as excited as he was. It looks great and I like how meaningful it is.

Whenever Burly thinks we're leaving somewhere and he has to stay behind, he flops down like this and won't move, it is so funny. Sometimes (if it's on carpet) I literally push him with my feet and he stays flopped over like that.

But he LOVES going to the beach, the water is his favorite thing and he loves to run around like a maniac. We have enjoyed sunsets at the beach a lot lately, knowing that we won't get to do that for a little bit once Claire is here.

So wish us luck, pray for us, and we'll see you on the flip side of parenthood! And p.s. yes, it's legal to park on the beach here, everyone does. And yes, I find that very strange. But there's nowhere else to park!

Pregnancy Amnesia

2009-05-21T05:51:00.000-07:00

I've heard that in labor and delivery, you not only push out a little person, but also your brain, which is what makes moms so forgetful. On the one hand, I've heard it's humbling to forget things that used to be ingrained in your memory, on the other hand, I've read that it's good to forget the pain we go through, or no mom would ever get pregnant a second time. So at 38 weeks, before I totally lose my mind; I thought I'd write an account of what pregnancy has been like for me:

*week 0- Our 3rd wedding Anniversary in September
*week 7-8- feeling a little "off" hormonally, but thought it was depression b/c of our x-c move
Things I did that I maybe/probably shouldn't have during pregnancy: drink wine, tequila, vodka, etc., take steroids (in my eye!) that cause birth defects, eat sushi/soft cheeses/deli meat, rides at amusement parks, skiing black diamonds in CO, and others I'm sure I'm forgetting (probably best).
*week 9-10- feeling acid reflux-y, went to 2 docs, was told I have an ulcer, then GERD. Meat/fish aversion also started; I've gotten protein from dairy/nuts mostly.
*week 10- 3rd doc confirmed pregnancy, heard heartbeat that day, weird. I was in shock. Went to the library, checked out a few books.
*week 11-16- shock gave way to nausea, I puked 1x/week but felt gross daily- things that made me sick: the smell of meat, Burly, Los, brushing my teeth, spitting and sight of mold. I normally love to cuddle with Burly, I couldn't stand the smell of him for over a month. It was very sad.
Also during this time, my sense of smell was on overdrive (lame superpower)- going to the grocery store was almost intolerable b/c of the bombardment of smells.
*week 16-17- first felt baby kick
*week 18- had a minor freak out that "life as we know it is about to be over!" We took an impromptu BabyMoon to CO and skied Crested Butte, one of the most gorgeous places I've ever been. This is also the last place I threw up.
*week 19- started to wear 2 pairs of maternity pants, which I later returned.
*week 21- found out it was a girl, named her Claire, and finally felt excited for the first time about this new season of life.
*week 23- started having Round Ligament Pains on long walks, scary at first, then I got used to them.
*week 25- bought maternity clothes and started to wear them, though I still wear my own clothes too.
*week 26- started having to pee way more, sleep being interrupted- sad. Also sound sensitivity started.
*week 29-30- travelled to west coast via plane, feet swelled for the first time, that was alarming. Realized the importance of hydration/elevation.
*week 31- Claire much more active, to point of watching her move inside my skin. Felt like a little alien in the tummy.
*week 32- face getting more oily and stretch marks came- NOT a fan of either!! Another sucky thing was that my calves started to hurt after sleeping/not moving enough, Los was kind enough to squeeze them occasionally when they bugged me.
*week 35-36- starting to get less comfortable, feeling pelvic pressure, and stopped going on long walks, 1 mile is fine with me now. Also started randomly losing my breath since my diaphragm is being squished.
*week 36- feet swelled for the second time. I fell and cut/bruised my leg/hip badly. And my not-friend, reflux, came back. Also, we built her nursery furniture the past couple of weeks.
*week 37-38- hands/thumbs have started to hurt in my sleep (carpal tunnel or circulation?) and I said goodbye to my wedding rings at week 38. Boo. Also we just put her carseat in the car! Now I feel legit, bring it on.

I'm sure I am forgetting some things, but this is all I can think of right now. Largely, it's been an uneventful pregnancy; the transitions/pains I've felt have all been pretty standard. The only interesting thing was when the sonographers couldn't find Claire's left hand- I was sad about that for a few weeks, but then they found it. My pain tolerance has increased some, but I've also had an easier time than some, with no abnormal things to watch out for, which we're grateful for. My blood pressure has stayed the same the entire time and weight gain was negligible the first trimester. I gained 5 lbs. by week 20, another 15 by week 30, and 5 in the past 8 weeks. I was afraid of gaining a lot of weight, but am glad mostly I have just craved fruit/ice water during the pregnancy. I did have a couple weeks where I wanted ice cream/popsicles (sugar) and pickles/chips (salt), but those subsided quickly. Some women stressed me out about physical ailments/bed rest during pregnancy- but thankfully that hasn't been the case for me. Now I am just spending time "nesting," getting our house ready and Claire's nursery ready, and soon I will be packing my hospital bag, since Claire already weighs over 6.5lbs. and her due date is in 2 short weeks.