Beloved Babbling

Twenty Questions

2008-07-09T09:00:00.002-04:00

My bloggy 친구, Amy on the Flipside tagged me for a twenty question meme-thingy so here it is:

1. What is your favorite food?
cheese pizza--New York style, dak kalbi

2. What was your happiest moment when you were a child?
playing outside with my three sisters—skating on the swamp in the winter, digging up clay in the backyard, dancing in the street during thunderstorms

3. Where is the place that you want to go the most?
North Korea

4. Which part of you do you hate the most?
my skin (it's sensitive)

5. When you encounter a sad moment, what do you do?
cry

6. What are you afraid to lose the most?
aside from the people I love? My wallet!

7. If you win $1 million, what would you do?
travel, travel, travel

8. What do you love the most about last year (2007)?
NYC with my sisters

9. Which actor/actress would you like to play you in a movie?
Looks/age-wise, Sandra Bullock Talent-wise, Susan Sarandon

10. How do you cope with boredom?
play way too much Bubble Town

11. Till now, what is the moment that you regret the most?
um, probably the time I crashed my sister's scooter into a chain-link fence. it wasn't my most shining moment.

12. What type of person do you hate the most?
ignorant know-it-alls

13. What is your ambition?
to be helpful

14. If you had one wish, what would you wish for?
an end to poverty and suffering

15. If you were an animal, what animal would you be?
a cat (if the nine lives thing is really true)

16. What has been the craziest thing you’ve ever done in your whole life?
probably jumping off a cliff into a waterfall on Pohnpei Island in the FSM
that or rollerblading down very steep hills sans knee pads or a helmet

17. What do you look forward to in 2008?
(finally) getting my master’s degree

18. If your life is a song, what title best fits it?I’m afraid of what the title would actually be, but I wish it would be something like, “Never Ordinary”

19. If you were to change one event in your life, what would it be?
i'd probably get married before going on my honeymoon (long story).

20. Who are you going to tag?
anyone who’s game

Kale Gets a Makeover Against Its Will

2008-07-02T08:04:00.004-04:00

I love kale. I usually saute it in olive oil and garlic until it's good and wilted. That's pretty much the only way I ever eat it, unless a recipe for a soup or casserole calls for it. After making our yeol-mu kimchi and being sort of wildly excited about having non-cabbage kimchi around, my guy and I got a little ambitious and decided to see what other greens we could ferment the living daylights out of. I got the bright idea to try kale. Turns out it wasn't such a bright idea afterall, because kale is very stubborn. We salted the heck out of it and waited and waited and waited and... nothing. The kale couldn't have cared less that it was drowning in salt. It didn't budge. Not a single wilted leaf. I was disgusted, so I rinsed off all the salt and put the huge lot of it in the fridge. I know I said I love kale, but this was a LOT of kale and a future of eating nothing but kale as my side veggie was really depressing. That's when Green Smoothie Girl rescued me. My sister had sent me this link and I checked out this chic's Youtube video (I don't feel like posting it, just type "green smoothie girl" in the youtube search box; she's the first one who comes up). I watched her put spinach in a smoothie. A smoothie that had bananas and berries in it, like the ones I make for myself just about every day. Then I surfed around and read some message boards on green smoothies and found one that had kale in it. Things were definitely looking up on the kale front. I read that if you freeze fresh kale, it will get crumbly and break up really easily. I threw my massive bag of kale in the freezer and came up with the following "recipe". It actually just tastes like my regular smoothie, so moms--you might even want to try this with the wee ones. They won't even know it's in there. I promise.

Kale Banana Strawberry Smoothie

makes: 1 serving

1 cup soy milk* (I use WestSoy Organic Unsweetened)
a drizzle of maple syrup (honey would work too, I'm sure)
crumbled up frozen kale (as much as you think you can handle)
half a frozen banana
4-5 frozen strawberries

*Use more or less, depending on how thick you like your smoothies.

Put the soy milk in the blender and add the maple syrup. Throw in the kale and whiz it on high speed until the kale is unrecognizable and it just looks like you have green milk in there. Add the banana and strawberries and blend until smooth.

That's it. Like Green Smoothie Girl mentioned in her video, if you use berries they'll mask the green color, so your smoothie will look a little less healthy and probably be more appealing.

Green Makeover

2008-06-17T08:53:00.004-04:00

Before:

After:

And in between, we watched this YouTube video of "Maangchi" making yeolmu (young summer radish) kimchi:

I wish I could say that these greens were grown in our garden, but we live in a townhouse so yeah, no. Our pastor and his wife (yes, the crazy one--she may be crazy, but she's also insanely generous and kind) let us pick these from their community garden on Sunday afternoon. I have never made this kind of kimchi before so I worried about wasting these beautiful greens, but through a little team effort my guy and I pulled it off. He washed them all (a long and tedious process), we watched the video, and the rest is history or...kimchi as the case may be. I love this stuff! I can't wait until it's fermented. Mmm... I definitely see a garden in our future.

Reading Love

2008-06-12T15:29:00.002-04:00

I’ve got books on the brain lately. I’m a Paperback Swap junkie and as a result, I not only have a whole shelf full of books I haven’t begun to read, but I also have a billion book credits in my account just waiting to be used when I find more books I want. Unfortunately, I’m suffering from a little attention deficit problem (probably induced by playing too much Bubble Town on Facebook) lately, so the only things getting read around my house are short and sweet--blogs, magazines and maybe a few Eddie Bauer catalogs (I actually get engrossed in those).

I’ve always been interested in the benefits of reading aloud. This is an activity that definitely happened at my house when I was growing up. For us, it went beyond the bedtime stories when we were in our toddler years and extended all the way to high school. Yes, my father read to me when I was a teenager. Gasp. I know! He read articles here and there to my mom which we girls got in on, but I also remember him reading The Hobbit and Joshua.

I was sorting through some catalogs (school ones, not clothes—I swear!) recently and found some books that some of you might be interested in if you have (or know) children of Korean heritage or any other children for that matter.

Here’s the short list. For the catalog, call 1-800-888-9681 or go to www.asiaforkids.com
I"m sure you can find them on Amazon, too. And no, I’m not getting any kickbacks. I'm just nice that way.

If you read (or have read) any of them, I would love ~~a full book report~~ to know if you liked them or not. I’m tempted to order a couple of these myself even sans kids. They’re short so I might even get through them, ADD and all.

Minji’s Salon by Eun-hee Choung
“A little girl, Minju, plays hairstyling with her puppy while mom is getting her hair done at a salon. An ode to the power of children’s imagination.” Ages 4-8

Dear Juno by Soyung Park
“Juno cannot read a letter from his grandmother in Korea but he figures out what it means by the photograph and enclosed dried flower. He decides to send a similar letter.” Ages 5+

The Green Frogs by Yumi Heo
“Two young frogs always disobey their mother. They even croak backwards! Learn how she tried to teach them to behave and why misbehaving children in Korea are called ‘green frogs’.” Ages 4-9

Waiting for Mama by Tae-Joon Lee
“This bilingual English/Korean children’s book tells the story of a child waiting for his mother at a bus stop. Told with powerful words and a poignant art style. Ages 3+

Long Long Time Ago
Twenty wonderful stories from Korea are whimsically illustrated in soft water colors. Learn about the rabbit who outwits a tiger, the lazy man who wished he was an ox, and many more. Ages 6+

Biological Karma

2008-06-04T15:09:00.002-04:00

I took biology in high school like everyone else, but I got lucky. The only thing I had to dissect was a worm. My biology teacher took a leave of absence somewhere around the first quarter and we had a sub ‘til the end. I don’t really remember much of the class, but I do remember my escape from carving, prodding and poking pickled organisms. I feel elated every time I tell someone I never had to cut open a frog and check out his parts. Granted, I don’t get to tell people that too often. But still. It was lucky.

I’m sure you’ve heard about karma biting you in the butt, kicking you in the pants, or whatever it is that happens when your luck runs out. Well, karma found me this year. I’m in high school biology with non-native speakers of English. So far we’ve pulled apart grasshoppers, frogs, and most recently, an enormous rat with a strong resemblance to Ratatouille. Now, I’m neither sappy nor sentimental. Call me cold, but I have no pity for these dead little buggers. I don’t even mind stepping in once and awhile with the forceps and identifying a pancreas here or a kidney there when my students need me to. The worst thing about biology is explaining the parts. The girl and boy parts. The English words are meaningless, as evidenced by the blank stares I get when I use them. Even if I find the Chinese words in my online dictionary, I come up empty because let’s face it—how many teenagers know the scientific words for genitals in any language? So I’m left with my favorite strategy for communicating through a language barrier—gestures. Yeah, gestures are great when you’re trying to explain things like big, small, and medium-sized, but scrotum, testes, and teats? Eh. Not so much. Horribly and excruciatingly embarassing would be putting it mildly. I humiliate myself on a daily basis. The native speakers in the class are getting a big kick out of it, though. They love to watch me try to discreetly gesture what teats are and where they’re located while my face turns twenty shades of red. I’m sure it’s hilarious for them, but I wish I’d sliced open a damn frog in my high school biology class, ‘cause I'm convinced that this is some crazy sort of karma.

Now We're Cooking Eating!

2008-05-29T22:00:00.008-04:00

I give up! I’m going to blog about school/work until it’s over. In two weeks!!!!

Actually, this is more play/fun related, so it’s all good. Last week I went on a field trip with my students to the New England Culinary Institute in Essex, Vermont. We were taken on a tour of the many kitchens and the dining facilities at the school which is housed at The Inn at Essex. The highlight for me was the garmage* kitchen where the chefs-in-training were learning how to turn honeydews into giant blossoming flowers sort of like this:

I've always wanted to carve produce into art ever since I worked in a resort kitchen during my college summers. The best I can do is pretty up a strawberry:

I know; it's sad. I worked there for four summers. I guess that's why I liked the garmage kitchen the best. Those kiddos really knew how to make pretty produce.

I also went a little ga-ga over the bread kitchen, where the smells were intoxicating. Our hearts went out to the young, hardworking bakers especially when we heard that they’d been there mixing and kneading since 4:15 a.m. They definitely had something to show for it. The breads looked something like this:

If you’re wondering why I have no actual photos and only sort of/something like pictures, that would be because my camera was locked in my lovely students’ restaurant. It’s all good though, because these pictures are way better than any I would have gotten.

We enjoyed our tour at NECI’s so much that we decided to go back the following Sunday for their brunch buffet at the inn. I had been many years ago (like maybe 15!) and I remembered being impressed, so I thought the girls might enjoy it. They loved the fancy shmancyness of it all. Ice sculptures, fancy fruit decorations, gorgeous buffet table presentations. We ate…and ate…and ate some more. In the end the girls said they didn’t care for the food, but it was a great experience and they’d enjoyed themselves a lot. Personally, I enjoyed it all. I had smoked salmon for the first time. Is that weird? I’m not sure. I loved it, though. That and the roasted eggplant soup were my favorites. And the scones. Oh yeah, and the flourless chocolate cake and raspberry cheesecake. Okay, I’ll stop there. Here are a couple of fuzzy pictures I managed to take with my phone. No justice done, unfortunately.

*I have no idea how to spell this word. This is my best guess. I have a feeling there should be an accent aigu ´ over the 'e' but I certainly don't know how to put one there.

Ignorance Is Not Bliss...It's Just Embarassing

2008-05-22T21:28:00.002-04:00

The other day youngest sister Xu was telling me that Chinese people do not sit on the floor when they eat—not at home nor at restaurants*. I felt like an idiot because that came as a big shock to me. I have always just assumed that they did because I had this (mis)conception that that was a Asian cultural practice. Youngest sister told me that only beggars sit on the floor in China, and to do so makes you look like a poor person. She also said no one sleeps on the floor unless there are no beds available (like if you have too many guests or something). Please tell me I am not the only ignoramus who did not realize that the Japanese and Korean customs of sitting and sleeping on the floor are not also Chinese.

I learned something else about China today. According to my students, Chinese movie stars (not sure about regular people; they kept saying “movie stars” but that may be because it’s so expensive) indulge in placentophagy aka the eating of human placenta. According to my sources (three Chinese girls from Fujian province), it is supposed to have many nutritional benefits. When I looked into this a little more, I stumbled on the rumor that an American movie star, namely Tom Cruise, was planning on eating Katie Holmes’ placenta from her delivery of baby Suri (he was reported to have said this by GQ magazine, but I think it was a joke(???)) and a website advocating the benefits of your baby’s placenta in capsule form. So yeah, not so much Chinese culture afterall, but who knows? Maybe it was an East to West sort of movement.

*Further research tells me that traditionally Chinese people did sit on the floor, but that hasn’t been customary since sometime during the Tang dynasty (618-907 AD) when chairs were introduced to the elite and eventually became more widely used by all classes of people.

What's Going On

2008-05-20T20:01:00.002-04:00

I really don’t know what’s going on with me and this blog. I feel like with the infrequency with which I post, I really should give it up, but for some reason I feel like keeping it going. And yet I know that it’s barely going. Lately, it seems like all I ever blog about is school/work. Which probably means that school/work is my life. Which depresses the heck out of me.

So what’s going on with me outside of school/work? Let’s see if a recap of this weekend will give you any insight.

Saturday:
I slept in (hallelujah!) until 7:30. (On weekdays I get up at 5:00 so yeah, that’s sleeping in.) Got up, made pancakes and sat around like a lump all morning. Made lunch. Went grocery shopping. Made dinner. Watched a DVD (Bella) with my guy. Out by 9:30 p.m.

Sunday:
Slept in again. Made a lazy girl’s breakfast (aka toast). Cooked like a maniac all morning: kimchi, a huge vat of oh-ee muchim for church, eggs, spinach and carrots for kimbap. Went to church. Thought seriously about never going back to church after only two other people aside from my guy and I showed up and the pastor’s wife yelled at us that we “cannot just sit here and soak up "the Message". We need to go out and share it with others.” She then commanded us to pray out loud and repent of our sins. I told my guy later that I think she is certifiably insane and if it weren’t for our lust of Korean culture (i.e. Korean food & language), I would not go back. She’s a nut job. Went home and rolled 9 kimbap rolls (lazy girl would never do this normally, but student’s birthday was Monday. See? There’s school again.). Watched another DVD (We Own the Night). Went to bed.

So there you have it. My life seems to consist of work/school, sleeping, eating, and cooking.

Ugh. I’m so bored.

The Bribe

2008-04-30T18:51:00.002-04:00

Okay, I know I said I loved driving H to school, but when I heard he nearly got his third warning (with the consequence of being off the bus for the rest of the school year), I felt pure panic. I knew I’d be designated driver, and that means I have to leave my house 15 minutes earlier than normal (and you should see me as it is in the morning!) every day, drive a very bad, potholey road, and rack up a lot of extra miles on my crap car which already has nearly 90,000 miles on it. I emailed the principal: "Any more thoughts on that positive behavioral reward we discussed earlier?" She’d suggested lunch at McDonald’s if he does a good job on the bus. H had scoffed at this (smart boy that he is). Let’s just say he’s no stranger to Mickey D’s. It’s like no big deal, definitely not special or enticing in any way. This principal needs to take a class in keeping it real. Seriously, she needs to get it together and get with the times. We’ve gotta stay a step ahead of the kids here, lady. Since she was fresh out of viable ideas, I decided to consort with the special educator, Mrs. R, who is a doll.

She said she’d been trying to find a bike for H. He’s never ridden one and she wanted to teach him. Our genius minds came up with a plan to use the bike as a bribe, so that H can ride it at school, BUT if he wants to take it home over the summer, he’ll have to do well on the bus. Now, you’ll remember that H is a 7-year-old with the developmental level of a 4 or 5-year-old. He can’t really see a couple of months down the road. He needs daily reminders and reinforcement. So we came up with the idea of a sticker chart. I put together a little book in the shape of a bus and made a calendar that the bus driver could put stickers on in the mornings and afternoons if H stayed in his seat and stopped lying down in the aisles. Mrs. R found a bike over spring break. She pulled me in on Monday morning for the big reveal. It’s fabulous—nearly new--shiny & red. It screams little H. She showed it to him sometime on Monday and when I worked with him on Tuesday, it was all he talked about. Miracle of miracles, he has six bus stickers so far. Fingers and toes are crossed. Please God, keep that kid in his seat on the bus for the next 6 weeks. I promise not to complain about the snow we had yesterday and today if you can just grant me that.

My New Shoes

2008-04-21T09:04:00.004-04:00

The eldest Xu sister came home from China last week. She’s been gone since just after Christmas. She brought me back some awesome pencils. The girls were complaining to me before she left that the pencil designs in the U.S. are so boring and that Chinese pencils are so much cooler. Eldest sister said she would get some for me, and when she gave them to me, I realized that they’re very much like Korean pencils. In fact, one of them actually had some hangul on it, so they might even be imported from Korea. They have cute pictures, weird sayings, and funky erasers.

Eldest sister also brought me some shoes from China. The girls had told me that one of the new fads in China is shoes that look like flats, but have lifts on the inside which actually elevate you and make you look taller. You know, that way you look naturally tall.
Sort of reminds me of padded bras. heh heh.

My new shoes are very sparkly. A high school girl told me I was looking all gangsta. Yeah. So…check deez yo!

The Hug

2008-04-16T14:52:00.001-04:00

I got a hug today. From a student. Not just any student. It was from…little H. Pay attention here, people. H doesn’t hug ANYONE. No, I don’t mean not just anyone. I mean ANYONE. I was floating on air. Riding on cloud 9! This was a big, running BEAR hug!!!

Ahhhhhh….Life is good.

What's Up

2008-04-02T20:43:00.001-04:00

Oh my goodness. I’ve started way too many blog posts lately. They keep falling flat and lifeless and never making it to publish. I think I’ve got blogger’s block. Fer real.

So just to warn you—this may be a pretty boring and meaningless post. I’m really not sure yet, but if time is a precious commodity to you, you may want to consider the odds.

My guy is back from Korea. In fact, he’s back to work, too. Twelve hours. 7 to 7. Is that insane—or what? He really enjoyed his time in Korea. I could see how hard it was to be back in Frozenland, USA. This has always been the most difficult thing about being part of this intercultural couple. Geographical incompatibilities. But that’s another whole post…

On the school front, H & C’s mom is now back in “her” country. The boys are holding up remarkably well with only dad to hold down the homefront. Their dad’s a Superman in my book. H has been acting out more than usual, which is absolutely to be expected under the circumstances. He got kicked off the school bus for three days—Monday to Wednesday. Dad came in on Monday to tell the principal that he’d be keeping H home for the remaining two days of bus suspension because he nearly fell asleep and went off the road in the morning. He was coming off the night shift and trying to drive H to school. A more exhausted and worn down man I have not seen. Although I’d purposely resisted previously, I volunteered to drive H for the two remaining mornings. I explained to the principal that H would LOVE this and therefore, this (kicking him off the bus) was a terrible consequence to use if she was trying for better bus behavior. I mean, come on—what kid does not want to be personally chauffeured to school??? Particularly what child who is missing his mother like crazy and seriously lacking attention from the one remaining, utterly exhausted parent he has left is going to see this as a PUNISHMENT? The principal is daft. Or she just doesn’t care. Either way, it’s ridiculous, but I’ve gotta tell you, secretly, I LOVE driving H to school. He sits buckled in my back seat (no, he does not need my help with the seatbelt, thank you very much) and chats with me in his cutie pie way. I’m telling you, if you saw this kid you would fall head over heels. He’s too much. Today he asked about a Swiffer duster I had in my back seat. I explained that I wanted to get rid of it and was going to give it away. H said that I should try to sell it. He thinks I could get $145.00 for it. When asked what he’d do if he had $145.00, he said he’d buy a new red backpack and a hockey stick.

See what I’m saying? I kind of hope he gets kicked off the bus again, but don’t tell the principal. ;)

Home(sick) Alone

2008-03-18T21:24:00.001-04:00

Being home alone since hubby’s been off to Korea has made me realize just how low maintenance I really am. I really don’t need to have every dish clean, every night. A few can sit in the sink. I’m okay with it. The laundry basket doesn’t fill up half as quick with only one person’s clothes in it. And I’ve got two weeks worth of underwear so yeah, I’m down with just letting the basket sit. Not washing clothes is liberating. So’s not cooking. They make healthy meals in a box nowadays. They’re even orGANic. Prep time: 5 minutes. In the microwave.

He’s having a blast. He calls me almost every day. Once, when I didn’t hear from him for a couple of days, I called his mom to see if he was at her house. She sounded pretty surprised to hear from me with my bad Korean and all. She told me he was in Jeonju and yelled at me for not coming with him. I told her I missed her. I couldn’t remember how to properly end a phone conversation so we just sat in silence for a few minutes. I heard her dogs barking in the background. I pictured her house the way I remembered it. Small and squat and surrounded by rolling fields of rice. I know things are growing there already. It won’t be long until the paddies are ablaze in the most amazing shade of green. I miss Korea.

Digging Out

2008-02-27T21:39:00.006-05:00

My husband has been on a medical leave (don't worry; he's fine now) since the end of January. He doesn't have to return to work until the beginning of April, and he has gotten the okay from the doc for a trip to Korea. He'll be leaving next week, and I'm so excited for him. This is his first trip back since he moved here with me in '02.

And believe me, I need this little ray of sunshine in my life right now. First it was the medical leave, then the problems with my students, other problems with another student, and on and on. Of course it doesn't help that it all has to happen in the dead of winter. The worst part of winter. The "god, when will it end--please make it stop" part of winter. I feel so stuffy, as my husband likes to say. I want to hike to the top of a mountain or travel to a far-away island and scream at the top of my lungs. Just let it out.

It snowed a lot yesterday and today. This morning I opened my bedroom window to let in the crisp, snowy air. I stuck my head out and breathed in deeply. I could feel the snow hit my cheeks and melt immediately. Somehow it was refreshing. I tried to appreciate the beauty of all the white fluffy stuff swirling around out there. I tried to forget my cabin fever. I took a few pictures. It really is beautiful, this white stuff from heaven.

Dear God,

The flakes are gorgeous. You've outdone yourself, really. Please don't send any more. We've got plenty. Thanks.

Dear Students

2008-02-23T06:46:00.002-05:00

To my sweet, beloved H & C:

Yesterday I talked to the immigration officer who is handling your mother's case. I told him that I was your teacher and that you were very special little boys. I asked him to please let your mother stay here with you, to please not send her back to "her" country.

H, I told him that you have special needs. I told him how you had that brain tumor removed and how it'd left you developmentally delayed. About all the support you're getting at school and how much amazing progress you've made this year. I told him about all the wonderful teachers who are involved in your day-to-day schedule trying to make sure that you do well and thrive in our school.

C, I told the immigration officer that you are struggling with anxiety. I told him that you needed your medication, and I was afraid you might not receive the same care in your mom's country. I told him how much progress you've made in your reading this year, how you have a special tutor who visits your house every week to help you with your homework. You've gotten so much more confident in third grade!

I told the man all these things, but I don't think he heard me. He kept on saying that there was nothing he could do, but I didn't believe him. He said he understood because he was a parent, but I didn't believe that either. How could any father who loves their children, separate a family in such a devastatingly, cruel way? How could he take a mother permanently away from her children? He said, "Believe it or not (I wonder why he obviously seemed to think I definitely couldn't believe it?), I used to be an educator myself." I wanted to ask him, if that were true, how in the hell he could go from such a giving profession to one in which he takes so much, but I didn't.

Instead I listened. I listened while the man from immigration told me that you could go live with your mom in "her" country. While he told me that when you're 18, you'd have a chance to come back. That was hard to listen to because it was so ridiculous. I told him there's no way you can live in your mom's country. You can't even read or write in your native language! How will you do grade level work? I reminded him that there are no such things as ESL or IEPs in place for students in that country. That you'd have no accomodations and no help to succeed.

I talked and I listened and in the end, I just didn't get it. Doesn't this man work for the same government who supposedly cares so much about each and every student, that they created No Child Left Behind? How can this same noble and caring government send its own citizens to a country they've never known or seen, where they'll struggle and flounder. Where their academic survival is doomed? Aren't you being left behind?

H & C, I don't know what to say to you. I'm still hoping and praying that there is some way your mama can stay here with you. I'm asking (pleading with) anyone who is reading this, to please pray for your family. No matter what their position is on illegal immigration, I want them to think of you boys and the way your lives will be affected by this decision. To consider the huge impact this will have on you mentally and emotionally. I'm asking everyone to pray for a miracle for you because that's what it's going to take.

Dear Immigration Officer

2008-02-21T20:28:00.002-05:00

To the man who will determine the fate of a family:

Tomorrow I will call you. I will beg and plead—maybe cry—for you to please let my little H and my big boy C’s mother, A, stay here in the United States with her husband and young children. I will tell you what an amazing person A is. How her smile just lights up a room and her sweetness is saturating. I’ll tell you how much her baby boys love and need her. I’ll let you know how much they desperately miss their mom. How little H tells everyone, “My mom’s in jail,” while C fights brilliantly to deny that anything is wrong. I’ll tell you how it broke my heart today (and made me cry all the way home) to hear C tell me that he wasn’t allowed to see his mother yesterday when they visited her in jail. He’s illegal too you see, dear immigration officer. By some dirty, twist of fate he was born on the "wrong" side of the border and suffers the seemingly eternal curse of illegality. I’m sure it cannot be a coincidence that he suffers from anxiety as well and has to take medication at the age of 9. He says he’s been feeling better lately and can maybe stop taking the meds (he "skipped ‘em for three days"), but I think he’s worried about the cost. Money’s tight, you know when mom’s in jail and there’s no medical insurance for little boys without social security numbers. C's also real worried about how his mom is going to make it in "her" country. He's mostly worried because his mom can't read or write even in her native language. But it's not her fault, sir. She was needed on her family's farm when she was growing up. The school was too far from the mountain village where she lived, so she wasn't given the beautiful advantage of education that she is making sure her children get. C thinks it's gonna be hard for his mama to get around and support herself since she's illiterate.

Dear just and noble immigration officer, please see this mama as a human being. Please don’t allow her to be denied her basic rights, like the medication she didn't have access to for the first 5 days of her incarceration. It’s hard enough to be locked away by oneself, missing your family with every fiber of your being, without having to do it all with massive headaches and the shakes. It' s a matter of human rights, sir.

Mr. Immigration Officer, do you remember the way your own mother used to care for you? How she held your head when you were sick? How she cooked you your favorite meal and gave you an extra cookie after dinner? Please give H and C their mother back. They need her…real bad. And I need to have my faith in humanity restored.

Tribute To A Beloved Butterfly Mama

2008-02-17T21:08:00.005-05:00

I'm on a blog break but I'm back briefly to tell you about my love affair with a butterfly mama.

I “met” Mama Nabi first through her comments on Kitchen Fire’s former blog, Weigooksaram. I just loved her wit and wisdom so much. Her comments intrigued me, so I checked out her blog only to find the same sharp, witty writing in her posts. One of my earliest memories is this post. That’s when I knew I was going to love her, because being Asian and living where she lives, she got what my poor husband and students were going through, and she wasn’t afraid to deal with the ignorance head on. I wanted to stand up and cheer every time I read one of her rants about the racism she was dealing with. I was sorry she was going through it, but the way she dealt with (and blogged about) it was just so satisfying for me.

As I continued to read Mama Nabi’s blog, I found more to love. It was easy to see what a caring, kind person she is (plus she writes really, really well). Did you know that she donates her hair to Locks of Love every year? Or that she used to do volunteer work in an orphanage…in high school? No wonder she’s such a kick*ss mama! She’s raising her daughter so beautifully even in the midst of all the crap she has to deal with. I have no doubt that LN will grow to be just as strong, kind and awesome as her mom ‘cause she has such an amazing model.

MN, you’re awesome! I hope this tribute (and those of others) makes you realize it, if you don’t already. If I could set this post to music, you’d be hearing this, but since I’m sort of incompetent that way, you’ll have to click the link and hit play. Lots of love, lady! Keep your chin up and keep kicking *ss! I’ll be reading (and worshipping you) from afar, as always.

C'est La Vie

2008-01-31T06:51:00.000-05:00

Life is getting in the way of blogging.

I thought blogging was my life. Apparently, there's more to it than that, and some things are better left unblogged about.

I'll be back.

I Heart Chicken Kalbi

2008-01-12T22:04:00.000-05:00

My husband has been working some crazy overtime lately. Yeah, he loves work so much. He really should spend more time there. Mandatory overtime---I think it should be against the law. Even without the overtime our schedules are pretty out of whack. We literally pass each other in the morning (he’s coming home from 3rd shift and I’m leaving for 1st) at the door or in the driveway. When I come home from work, he’s usually sleeping. Sometimes we eat dinner together, but lately, more often than not, I eat on my own and he eats much later when he wakes up. Weekday fare is routine—rice, soup, side dishes—but on the weekends, I like to make some more elaborate and “communal” meals that we can share together.

Tonight I made dak kalbi. The recipe is from the site that saved my culinary life when I first moved back to the U.S.—Korean Kitchen. I have so many memories and associations with this dish. I remember the very first time I ate it. A student (whom I later developed a mad crush on, but that’s another story) took me after class one night. The restaurant was the kind with the pan in the middle of the table where you cook as you eat. When the raw chicken arrived and the server cut it up with scissors while we watched, I was freaked out. I was pretty sure food was supposed to show up cooked when they brought it to your table. But I got over my apprehension pretty quick, and it was love at first bite. I had never tasted anything so delicious. That was the first of many, many shared dak kalbi meals. It became a Friday or Saturday night practice for my friend M, her boyfriend D, and I. D was from Tennessee and he fell as much in love with dak kalbi as I did. M was my first true friend in Korea so the meals we all had together (so many times) hold a really happy place in my memory.

Okay then, enough with the nostalgia. On with the food! I decided to take pictures tonight while I made what may very well be my favorite Korean food ever (but please don’t make me choose!). I’m hoping you’ll see from the pics that it’s not at all difficult to make. I follow the recipe at Korean Kitchen just as it is, except that I use boneless chicken thighs (about 1.5 pounds cut up in smallish pieces).

It's all in the marinade.

But don't forget the chicken.

Chicken meets marinade--a winning combination.

Enter my beloved vegetables and. . .

the all-essential dduk dug from the freezer.

Voila--spicy chicken perfection:

Kongnamul gook is excellent with dak kalbi. We eat it hot, but in Korea it's served ice cold (literally, with chunks of ice floating around in it) with this meal.

So there you have it. It's easy, n'est pas?

Damn. Now my blog is making me hungry again.

Ai-go!

P.S. Sorry for the corny captions and the blurry photos. I have no excuse for the captions, but I had to take all the pictures with my phone because my sister has my camera.

Identity

2008-01-10T21:22:00.000-05:00

Last week my husband complained that he doesn't know why his co-workers treat him like an alien with three heads.

"I have a pickup truck. I've been fishing. Okay, so I don't like football or hunting, but I don't know why everyone treats me like I'm SO different from them. Like someone they'll just never be able to relate to. Even though I don't look like them, we're all basically the same."

I wasn't quite convinced, but I lent a hearing ear and murmured a comforting, "Uh-huh, I know."

I told him it's the same way with my girls in the high school. They don't have any friends, and it feels like the other students just label them, 'those girls from China' rather than seeing them as fellow classmates, like they couldn't possibly have anything in common with them.

This week my husband is nothing like his coworkers.

"My ideals are completely different than theirs. I have nothing in common with them. I will never be one of them. I'll never be white, and I'll never fit in."

It hurts to say it, but I agree with him more this week.

That's culture, baby.

Hmm...Hillary, Huh?

2008-01-08T17:34:00.000-05:00

Okay, my blog is making me hungry. I need to post something else.

Until I took this quiz, I was sure I was going to vote for Obama. It’s telling me I’m supposed to be voting for Hillary. I did not see that coming. Alright well, I guess I always thought it was possible, but I’m a much bigger fan of Obama. My one consolation? I scored a 1 with Huckabee. Thank you, Jesus. The only thing I agreed with that madman* on was the line-item veto, and I now suspect that I must not really understand what that is.

If you’re for him, I apologize for my opinionated negativism. Let’s celebrate our differences.

Sunday BakeFest

2008-01-06T16:05:00.000-05:00

I usually do my baking on Sundays. I make a loaf of whole wheat bread for toast and sandwiches and then some quick bread or muffins for my husband to take to work. He's not a big fan of yeast breads, but he does like sweet breads. Today I baked more than usual because I'm trying to bake only every other weekend (and freezing in the meantime).

Here's what I made today:

*before*

Two loaves of bread--it's hard to tell, but the one on the left is a little browner. It's Anadama bread (which is made with molasses and cornmeal). I don't believe the fisherman story, though. I think his wife left him because she was sick of cooking for him, and he had to cook for himself so while he was making the bread, he said, "Anna, damn her!"

*after*

Now the Anadama is on the right.

Vegan cherry almond muffins (I made a double batch--24 in all)

Tortillas

I don't make these regularly, but from time to time. I hate store-bought tortillas because they have a weird taste to me--something chemically. Does anyone know what I'm taking about? I think it's whatever they use as a preservative.

One for Juno

2008-01-05T21:36:00.000-05:00

I took myself to the movies today. This is actually not unusual for me. I love to go to the movies, and when I can’t find anyone to go with I’m not opposed to going alone. I used to feel a little weird about it, but not so much anymore. There’s just something about watching a movie on a big screen with surround sound. I feel like I’ve left my life for a few hours and when the movie is finished, I re-enter the world. When I leave the movie theater everything feels a little surreal, like I’m readjusting to reality. I don’t know if that makes any sense, but I love the experience.

Today I saw Juno. I had been wanting to see it, and after Rachel told me it was “funny and quirky” and along the lines of Napoleon Dynamite and Little Miss Sunshine, I was sold. It was definitely funny and quirky. Overall, it was fun to watch, but the dialogue was too much at times—smart and witty almost to the point of being fake and there were several things that made me cringe.

So for what it’s worth (and just because I need to get it off my chest), here are my gripes:

*I don’t think I’m going to ruin anything for you, but if you haven’t seen it yet and want to, you may want to come back later*

1. The Asian girl outside of the abortion clinic who over generalized the past tense of one verb, but had no other grammatical issues in casual speech with the main character. They had her saying, “All babies want to get borned,” or something to that effect. So stereotypical.

2. The only other non-white character got put in her place by the stepmother for making a comment against teens raising babies. I really don’t even remember her comment, but the force with which they put her down was the equivalent of using an AK-47 to kill a cockroach.

3. At one point, the main character said, “That is so gay,” in reference to something she thought was stupid. Now I suppose this can be justified as an attempt to make the dialogue authentic, since it took place in what appeared to be a rural area somewhere in Hicksville, USA, and the kids in the high school I work in actually still say this, but ugh, really, let’s not perpetuate it.

4. There was a reference made to how plentiful Chinese babies for adoption are in China and the ease with which they can be adopted. I won’t even repeat the reference because I thought it was ugly. Sadly though, the ugliest thing about it was the amount of laughter in the theater when it was said. It really bothered me.

These things just irked me. I don’t know why movie makers can’t be more sensitive in the ways they portray race and sexuality. They have so much power for good and a million ways to make a movie funny without stooping so low. But truly, the thing that really bothers me is that sometimes I feel alone in my disgust. I was reading a Juno blog review from Ben Nuckols (Ill –Informed Gadfly)—who is probably nobody, but still!—and he wrote, “Juno, . . ., has a couple Asians whose ethnicity we’re supposed to find cute.” Really? That’s what mainstream America’s reaction should be to those Asian characters? We're supposed to find the way they were portrayed cute? That just makes me sad. I think we’re supposed to find it offensive.

We Shopped ‘Til We (Nearly) Dropped

2008-01-01T19:51:00.000-05:00

I’ve had over a week off from school and have been loving every minute of it. It’s been especially nice since my husband has also been on vacation. We’ve been enjoying a mix of lazy and productive days. We’ve watched a slew of movies, way too much TV, gone driving, visiting, and shopping and the house is clean!

One of my students and her cousin (a former student) asked me to take them shopping yesterday. I was happy to oblige since I love shopping. I always feel somewhat guilty about my love of ~~profuse consumerism~~ shopping, but I like to think I’m a pretty savvy shopper so I don’t feel too bad about it. I can "shop" for hours and buy nothing. When I do make purchases, I never pay the regular price. I have to have a coupon of some sort, or else it has to be deeply discounted. I’m also a huge fan of thrift store and eco-friendly Internet shopping which I always feel good about.

It's fun to shop with my students because they bring along great Chinese music for the car and inevitably, I end up with a CD for me. We're also all big fans of Thai and Vietnamese food so my favorites--pho or pad kee mao--are always on the menu for lunch.

Yesterday I scored two coats (one for winter and a trench for my much-anticipated spring) on sale, a very cheap (in cost and quality) oversized handbag, and some rain/stain guard for my boots.

Now that's what I call a good shopping day.

And yes, there was pho for lunch.

Winter Blooms

2007-12-17T21:19:00.000-05:00

This is my drive to work. . .

and this (courtesy of my mom) is helping me keep my sanity in spite of it: