Life as it should be

life is too short

2007-11-26T10:30:00.000-08:00

You always here someone's dead, there's a funeral happening here but you don't really grasp what it's like to suddenly let go of someone that was close to you till it actually happens to you. You don't get a chance to say goodbye specially with the tricky part of death "sa7wet el maout" where you think they're gonna be fine because they just got better and they were talking fine but that's the trick, again it's "sa7wet el maout". Without even knowing you found yourself burying them the next day. At first you understand what's really going on till you go home crying your eyes out.

It was hard to see the house that was always laughing and open for family gatherings is filled with sadness. Suddenly everything seems very strange and not as before.

It was hard for me to accept the death and when I entered the house the next day I thought I would find him sitting where he always was, whether he was tired or not but he would still be with us but then again instead I found her sitting in his place. That's when it all hit me.. It took me a days to realize that he was not there now. Actually I realized it only fel 3aza when everyone was there at the mosque.

I really hope I would never experience this again, it was very difficult specially that he was the source of happiness to us.

May you rest in peace and see you again

Egypt but nicer

2007-10-20T06:27:00.000-07:00

I've always liked going to Italy, I fell in love with it the first time I went and again this time.

You know the song love is all around, that's how I feel when I'm in Italy. Everything there is nice, clean and happy.

Rome with its beautiful weather and nice breeze can take your breath away. The architecture is one of the best in the world; I will never find amazing buildings as in Rome.

Lonely Table Just For One

2007-10-19T06:24:00.000-07:00

Lonely table just for one
In a bright and crowded room
While the music has begun
I drink to memories in the gloom
Though the music's still the same
It has a bittersweet refrain

So play the song the way it used to be
Before she left and changed it all to sadness
And maybe if she's passing by the window
She will hear a love song
And a melody
And even if the words are not so tender
She will always remember
The way it used to be

Friends stop by and say hello
And I laugh and hide the pain
It's quite easy 'til they go
Then the song begins again

refreshing XP

2007-10-17T14:11:00.000-07:00

Today was my first real AIESEC gathering with the new members and the new EB Team. Even though you would feel as an outsider after all these years but still you know you're too attached and no one can take this from you.
You start dancing the roll calls and they come up to you asking you questions about your XP and who you are now and you feel back again as a VP or even LCP.

I know that Karim and his team are doing a great job right now. Yes they have recruited around 80 members but they're all very potential. You talk to them and you see the excitement in their eyes wanting to know more. The good thing about it is that the EB team realizes that they have a lot of members and they know how to retain them. People say 80 is a lot and CU will be left with 5 but I'm sure at least 30 will stay after XΔ, leadership positions and people dropping out which is definitely a good nr.

Can't be prouder of my LC, CU is growing and it's growing good

unexpected!!!

2007-10-16T17:19:00.000-07:00

For the first time in the history of Egypt it rains soo hard.

It's 2.20 am on a Wednesday some day in October and it has been raining for about 30 good mins. Oh no not just raining but actually is pouring hard with thunder and lighting. At some point I was scared. Usually it doesn't rain till December and not that hard so does this mean that we should expect European winter, the kind we never see in Egypt with snow and stuff :-)

It's going to be the worst day in traffic tomorrow. Egypt will face a disaster and I can assure you that no one will come on time to any where.

Sorry for all the trainees who have been in Egypt and couldn't see this winter ;-)

change in personality

2007-08-30T06:27:00.000-07:00

yes change in personality is needed. For the past few weeks all I've been hearing from friends or reading in blogs is "i'm changing" or "what the hell is happening to me" or "I'm going through a weird phase".

I guess it's a transitional period from smth to another. In some ppls case it's from a job to a new job. I guess in my case, it was from AIESEC to work. I had to fight a lot till I could accommodate in the new environment. The problem is that a negative attitude spontaneously occur, then by time things get better till a new thing comes up :-)

Now the problem is when this negative attitude occurs and comes between you and your best friend, that's when you should start taking actions towards it and re-evaluate everything.

Life isn't easy but we're smarter ;-)

To Do List

2007-08-28T06:21:00.000-07:00

Things I need to get done before Ramadan:

Ein Sokhna
Hang out more with Loza and Niso
Read some Quran
Finish all the work load I have (we all know ramadan is a lazy month)
Be a better friend :-)
Eat Sushi
work out

I should be able to at least get 4 out of them!!!

Don't speak

2007-08-26T07:21:00.000-07:00

I've always liked this song.. it's very meaningful and powerful and it brings what's in me :-)

You and me
We used to be together
Everyday together always
I really feel That I'm losing my best friend
I can't believeThis could be the end
It looks as though you're letting go
And if it's real Well I don't want to know

Our memories Well,
they can be inviting But some are altogether Mighty frightening
As we die, both you and I With my head in my hands I sit and cry

It's all ending
I gotta stop pretending who we are...
You and me I can see us dying...are we?

my 1st raise

2007-07-29T07:22:00.000-07:00

Sitting quietly on my desk, working with my headphones in my ears to focus, suddenly i saw all the girls around me are laughing hard and hugging each other, I asked them what happened they told me check your mail. A nice email from the nice HR people was sent telling us we have been promoted to seniors with a nice salary adjustment.

Yayyyiii my first raise at work and I finally have a real title :-)) That feels so good

life

2007-07-18T05:41:00.000-07:00

"life indeed can be fun if you really want to"

Sometimes living on a dream, it's aint as easy as it seems
you want to fly around the world in a beautiful balloon

best weekend ever

2007-07-15T12:39:00.000-07:00

what else would you want than a nice relaxing and funny weekend??

That was exactly how I spent thursday, Friday and Saturday.. Traveled with the friends to Marina, we would wake up every morning at 1pm have breakfast then go for a nice swim in the clean beach, lay down on the sand with a shisha in your hand and get tanned. See how beautiful this is, it even ryhmes :-))

No fights, no stress out, no nothing, fun fun fun ohh yeah and more fun

why swim suits

2007-07-10T06:19:00.000-07:00

swim-suits don't suit me.. Apparently karma is much stronger than i thought.. I throw May in the pool, Hazem throws me back :-)) I'm getting a bad reputation "thrown in the pool with cloths" It's a great feeling but tiring to swim with jeans. So my new slogen would be:

WHY USE SWIM SUITS WHEN YOU CAN SWIM IN CLOTHS:-)))

Life is good

1st of July

2007-07-01T06:14:00.000-07:00

And it's the 1st of July 8am, sitting at work waiting for new work to be done. Usually when this day comes we would all be waiting to start our new term thinking ohh god we have a lot to achieve and get done with. Today, I'm just sitting at work maybe relaxed but sad that I don't have planning and company visits to do no conferences to attend and 7'ena2 3ala companies. It's a weird feeling, no obligations no thinking.. it's very weird. I can't believe that this is the end of it. I have been an alumnus for 16hours now... I'm glad I managed to take the best out of it, an XP no one can forget.

20Exchanges in 2006/2007

Bye Bye AIESEC and really wish more achievments and growth to come.. Good luck CU, I know you'll do great:-))

why?

2007-06-22T14:29:00.000-07:00

you got me used to your face
now you don't want to show it

you got me used to your eyes
now i can't look at them

you got me used to your smile
now you're taking it away

you got me used to your touch
now i can't hold you

you got me used to your presence
now i watch you behind the doors

you tell me you want to be friends
now i tell you i'm sorry I love you

closure

2007-05-25T08:06:00.000-07:00

Sometimes all you need is closure.. it could be a smile, a wink, a kiss or even the talk.. That's what you need to close the door and never come back, but the question is how can you be sure that this will close it. You may regret, it you may not!

Sometimes closure is what opens your heart to a new adventure or brings you back to the old one

hopefully the last

2007-05-14T06:54:00.000-07:00

When I was still a member, I never understood how people can let go and leave. AIESEC had such an impact on me back then and made me want to develop more and take more leadership positions. Then a year went by and another one and now it's my turn to leave and pass on everything to my successor. I must understand how he feels, he's now the owner of the ship and he wants to run everything on his own, that's how I was when I took my firts postion. I'm glad I had the chance to be in AIESEC and meet great people like May Daoud, Louli, Loz, Sami, Tamer, Mr. Askoura, Martha, Maggie and of course Nesrine.

Askoura once told me a nice saying before leaving AIESEC: E7la2 le nafsak abl mal nas te7la2lek. I completly agree with and I would advice any of the people leaving to use it.

Good luck for all the new leaders and hope your term will be more successful than our =)

weirdest dreams ever!!

2007-05-11T13:18:00.000-07:00

Waking up from a bad dream crying.. I couldn't stop crying as it had my cousin dying in it. I was responsible for her funeral from A - Z, it wasn't in a normal mosque but it was in a big open hall where a lot of people came. I had all her pictures hanging on the wall so people can still see her. I wasn't paying attention to what was happening, I was going up and down and fixing this and that and saying bye to him and her and suddenly I walked through a long corridor where a lot of people were coming out my way. All of a sudden one friend decided to hug me and that's when I realized that my cousin was dead. I cried really hard that I even woke up from the dream finding tears on my cheek and started crying.

Weird is that I haven't spoken to her for over a month so I don't know why I would be dreaming of her. Anyway, I found out later she was good so she's still alive :-)) !!

Another weird thing was that 2 hours later I had another dream about my best friend drowning and I was there, can't do anything for her. Then the next scene was her brother calling me asking me how I was doing and saying that if she was alive she would have wanted us to keep in touch so let's do that and come over for dinner some time which of course made me start crying again.

I always have weird dreams about people dying, I wonder what they mean. I know crying in a dream is a good thing.. letting some of the steam out but people dying that's weird..

"I see dead people" sounds spooky

Conclusion

2007-05-07T21:40:00.000-07:00

people change.. a lot, and when people change they either feel it and like it or they don't.
so if they like it and they have changed to the better kheir w baraka.. if not and they have acquired weird attitude then god puts the right people to bring them back and get them down to earth..

4 cats

2007-05-03T13:02:00.000-07:00

4 completely different characters came together by coincidence. One very needy but kindhearted, one too girly and irresistible the other one careless and free and the last hhmm simply a bitch and thinks she knows everything; however, she never liked the first three. It's not how she was raised, so to her they're airheads. She was responsible mature, knows what she wants and gets it. Now with the new combination, yes she's having hard time adapting and always wants to leave "the group", but there's something about them pulling her back.
They form a nice group; they laugh all the time and they make others laugh too.
They care about each other and never give up. They fight and never lose;

What will come out of this you never know but what we know for a fact is that they enjoy sharing everything together from guys' issues to family and personal stuff. Good thing about it is that they support one another from a-z.

There's always something getting them together, whether it is work, fun, men or even parents but there's always something and there will always be :-)

Sindhi Woman

2007-04-24T08:12:00.000-07:00

By: Jon Stallworthy

Barefoot through the bazaar,
And with the same undulant grace
As the cloth blown back from her face,
She glides with a stone jar
High on her head
And not a ripple in her tread.

Watching her cross erect Stones,
garbage, excrement, and crumbs Of glass
in the Karachi slums,
I, with my stoop, reflect...
They stand most straight
Who learn to walk beneath a weight

I'm falling but..

2007-03-27T10:30:00.000-07:00

I'm falling but you're not...
I'm falling but you're stronger..
I'm falling but you're pushing me away..
I'm falling but you're leaving..
I'm falling but you're moving on..
I'm falling but I'm scared..
I'm falling and I will never stop dreaming of you..

I'm falling and that's a fact

Will you raise me up will you help me down..
Will you hold me sacred will you hold me tight..
Can you colorize my life I'm sick of black and white

I can do that

confused!!!

2007-03-27T08:55:00.000-07:00

Am I starting to acquire the bad habit of judging people with no reason? Is this the devil inside doing his tricks on the people? Where will this lead to? It is bad to judge people but it mostly comes from observing people and how they behave and me as a person I like to observe, watch and keep my distance. It's not about judging as much as it's trying to know the people around you to know how to deal with them, it's not always the case that you have to like them, you can't hang out with them but not becoming one of your closest friends, again keeping your distance. Keeping the distance is not necessarily bad. Not opening up to people is not a bad thing, they don't have to know everything about your life except the ones you like to share and talk to. The hard part is not to upset people from you or not be rude. Don't know how to do it but one should balance.
3amatan No Body is Perfect

new job!!!

2007-03-23T10:13:00.000-07:00

I guess as my favorite friend said new jobs are always like that. The first days have to be boring and nothing to do, now I wish I have one free hour as I used to have before. I'm working in Bank when I've graduated from german literature and almost all my friends know how good I am in math and Banks (haye2fel 3ala idi isa). I'm working in Piraeus as a loan officer in the corporate department, its really cool and fun but very hectic, people are very friendly they remind me of the AIESEC people and the cool atmosphere I only wish we had to do roll call every morning to cheer people up and wake them up. However, instead we spend the first 2 hours doing nothing but talking and talking and talking till our bosses come and give us the mean look (start work you have tons of S** to do).

It's actually fun and challenging at the same time. I'm enjoying it and guess what now I actually know math. I'm using excel sheet for the first time of my life other than SN name, ID, qualifications and these things, I'm usuing it for Balance sheet and Income statements, so I guess I will apply for any finacial postion that will be opened in AIESEC :-)))

P.S. 40÷10=4 :-))

the longest 8 hours

2007-03-16T10:38:00.000-07:00

wow, I've been wanting to blog about it a long time ago but was too lazy to blog.

I was never bored in my life like on my first day at work. Hours were passing by slowly to the extend that I fell asleep finding myself waking up and only 5mins have passed. People are very nice and friendly but not knowing what you should do, or what your plan is, is horrible. You director is not there so you don't know which group you belong to. So I sit there doing nothing except reading and going through files over and over again. Not knowing what you're reading also makes it worse.

I had to sms Loz and Nesrine every second asking what inventory, Assets, Equity, Aggregate credit position... is. At least I know they will be there for me :(

Not having a computer of your own makes it worse cause that's when you can't chat, check emails, or even play solitair and spades.

Then after 2 hours passing, I found the secretary coming to me saying you'll join this group, a nice lady started talking about how she joined and having 2 kids wanted one of them to go to DEO and that's how she learnt some german. Then she gave me more files to read as if I understood the 1st two but whatever.

After another 2 hours the secerarty comes again and says no you'll joing this group (as if it mattered) and that's how my first week was, doing nothing but reading files over and over again with a nice bordem smile on my face.

goodbys don't work with me

2007-03-15T11:01:00.000-07:00

2 days ago, I had to say goodbye to a dear friend, hoping she will come back. I miss all the crazy things we used to do like going to ein sokhna at 2a.m. and coming back in the next morning, cruising around cairo till 4 am, talking on the phone bitching about life and work. it's always nice to have someone who can take take all your frustration and bitch at.

I know she's coming back which makes it easier, 2 months will fly (I keep convincing myself with it)