Nanaimo Blahg

hey, now....it's a new year....

2010-01-03T17:09:00.001-08:00

and though i don't know what that is supposed to mean, i am more than willing to let go of 2009. it's had it's highlights...saw two living legends and lyrical heroes of mine in one year, John Prine and Leonard Cohen. triumphant happening among friends, children welcomed, homes bought, lessons learned, lives lived and loved.... visits, a mexican vacation, a whirlwind of selling and buying homes....

i haven't been around though, and now it seems Blogger is offended as i cannot move my text in between each photo!

well...not without much trial and error...but maybe it's the computer(a mac) or maybe it's just my own rustiness....

speaking of rustiness...how do you like those photos? first i have taken(more or less) in a good long while... the meds worked a while, then didn't work in a big bad way...more on that later... now i am on minimal dose, waiting to see a head doctor....who will probably, for all intents and purposes declare me "clinically depressed(which honestly won't shock me)" and try prescribing other things...but, here i am, clinical and all, taking some photos again.

and it's not like i think where i am is good but it's more like me....maybe not the depression part, but the looking for little things part. i don't know if it's because it is a new year and 2009 was not brilliant for me....i don't know if it's that december has always had it's issues, now more than ever...i don't know if today was just a really good day for me....

but i went on this walk today and suddenly i found that i wanted to share it all with you again.

So, goodbye to 2009. although you gave me some good gifts that i will love and appreciate always , all in all, you kinda hurt. and i'm glad we're done. bu-bye!

Ratz

2009-12-29T13:26:00.000-08:00

i was hoping that my bah humbuggeyness would subside....it hasn't. i was hoping things would look new and exciting as this month drew to a close...they don't. but there is still a new year on the horizon. i am absolutely aching for change, for peace, for a sounder sense of self.

Aren't you?

2009 was harder than most.

right?

what i hope for is a better year in 2010. don't care about Whistler Olympics or Rah-Rah- Go Bristish Columbia. what i hope for in this coming year is this....that we all find firmer footing, that we all remember everything/everyone that has graced our lives. What i hope for for the coming year is this...somewhere, somehow, we all find that balance that we seek... in spite of outside forces, in spite of inner dialogue....

we deserve it.

so, my friends...

truly, let's make sure we strive to make this our best year ever...

talk to you soon, eh?

my name in print

2009-12-24T17:23:00.000-08:00

despite my many negative feelings about December; every horrible holiday experience experienced coming up in every dream, the many December/January losses(some really fresh and others long simmering), the longlonglong days of grey, the days of waking up in the dark and going to bed in the dark, my own self-diagnosis of Seasonal Affective Disorder(which may be heralded if the freaking intake nurse at Mental Health would ever return my call, hello???? )...i have had a couple, or three, break-throughs in my gloominess.... still holiday Grinchy.....don't get me wrong there. This will always be a tough sell month for celebration for me. I will go into that with the intake nurse, if i can ever get a hold of them...(that's you, Nancy!).

This month, despite many, many weeks of not taking a single picture(of feeling there was nothing worth recording on my end), i have had three successes....i have one photo in a Canada province-wide magazine on fishing, of all things.

(i don't fish, though).

I have a photo being printed for greeting cards, all the proceeds of which go to getting animals rescued and adopted. I have a photo(of the same rascally dog) being published for a training pamphlet/online course to teach police officers across the US and the public about the horrible crime of dog-fighting rings.....maybe you all know Marley...if not....http://www.flickr.com/photos/59041131@N00/3681946835/ follow all links... his story will make your heart both break and re-invent itself....truly.

I love him...it's not the first time i have written about him....if this is your first read, then let me introduce him to you...http://www.flickr.com/photos/59041131@N00/3681946835/

So, funny enough...it's been a long time i haven't felt like i have contributed a thing....and now, it's Christmas Eve, and I find that this night, of all nights, i might make some small difference. it's good. it feels good.

i do love to find moments that no one else does.

although i mostly doubt anyone finds those moments when i find find them....this time, this most precious time of my life, i have been proved wrong.

i love those moments.

i love dogs. and these moments.

i love that i made some impact. however small.

and so, with that small statement of gratitude, even if you don't know what the past year of my life has meant( in all the greater and lesser degrees, and assuredly NOT in comparison with yours, for i make no comparisons of high times or low times(we all deal with our own times/experiences/phobias/stressors in our own way, in our time)), i have been/ am/ will be/ forever thankful of your input, your participation, your available input and advice, your insight into my life, your guidance, your intuitiveness.

i have not been here much lately, in words or posts....but i have been here...listening....learning... trying to accept your friendships, your input, your advice...

Peace on Earth, my friends.

And prayers for our most fulfilling year to come.

Merry Christmas

Dylan

2009-12-20T15:16:00.000-08:00

one year ago today....we, the collective we of all who knew and loved him as well as those denied that honour, lost someone most treasured. as kids, we called him Pickle. An especially humbuggy year for me, imagine that today, one year later, i find myself looking at this christmas ornament...love is never lost.

Dearest Pickle....we love and miss you so.

Peace everlasting.

hey, y'all....

2009-12-01T15:02:00.000-08:00

how the hell are ya????
seriously?
yeah, i have been gone a while...and not sure i am "officially" back...but, today has been a beautiful day, blue skies, no rain, warm enough for two layers instead of four and dry enough for no rain gear....
the new hood is sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo quiet.....we're still not unpacked, we moved in while we were both sick...me? i still have a fabulous chest cough once in a while, though am able to contain it until moments i am alone. as long as i don't squeal or grow pink curly tail, i consider myself lucky. i wanted to be in touch sooner but things have been....um....chaotic, at the least.
we moved in at a time that Nanaimo was flooding....flood warnings everywhere....weeks of rain, the ground could not absorb it all....which is WEIRD in a place designed to take in rain....we, here on the west coast, are considered a temperate rainforest, after all. we moved in here in a time of great personal reflection on both parts...which leads to other things....
the house is small in consideration of the last...has caused some issues with furniture and hand me downs and bric-a-brac.... we have argued. my meds are creating issues. his moods create issues. the up and down and here and about and what comes next creates issues.
but? this is a lovely house....and for the past two weeks or so, i walk eem-er every day throughout this new hood, not worried about encountering situations that i have no patience for.
i have already established a route past a few of my favourite little houses...yes, little houses here, bungalows, cabins, what you will. also, i let eem-er follow her own nose on these walks and have come across such suprising places around here, wandering indiscrinately back and forth, block by block....
so yeah, as i say, i don't whether i am back "back" or just back in a flash.....
still kicking
though
hope you all are,too

move in day is tomorrow....

2009-11-19T14:39:00.000-08:00

but i saw this today and couldn't wait...

we'll talk soon,eh?

i think i'm happy

2009-10-14T16:20:00.000-07:00

it'll be some time to get back to you...
we sold our house...without another to move into right away...our household is in storage and in about 4 days, the computer will be, too. we found another place but it isn't available right now.
we're moving to a quiet street, to a quiet house, a tiny house(we must then get rid of much our accumulated clutter, thank goodness), with a private yard....and though i know it's too early to say such things, i do believe we're gonna be alright...that everything is going to be alright. we are making plans...life affirming plans...together.
despite the coming month of homelessness starting(EEK) Saturday....
so look for an update late-ish November....until then, take good care.
and, in case you were wondering? we are STILL going to see John Prine saturday night...are you jealous?

is anybody still here with me???

2009-10-06T12:51:00.001-07:00

Yeah, i know, i haven't been around...haven't posted, haven't commented....although the summer has been beyond gorgeous(with plenty of times for swims and camping), and i have participated in some of it.... mostly, this summer, has made me more miserable than any grey and wet and windy fall and winter ever has. In the past few-to-six months or so, I lost Myself. I have been nobody i want to know. My curtains are closed. My life is no longer my own...
i don't know how i came to be this way...other than i can't back down...kinda been the problem my whole long life. If I cannot make the change here, and no one else is willing to...wellllllll... seriously? I am moving on. Fortunately, for me, Michael has agreed.
We are moving onward, upward....i don't need to fight anymore....
I would like to tell you all about things...
once the deals are officially done...
but? until then?
couch surfing is totally worth it all.

still with Martin....surely, you will hear from me soon

2009-09-06T21:32:00.000-07:00

fondly, sadly....lovingly....remembered

2009-09-04T18:43:00.001-07:00

Today, my very good friend should have turned 39....
I wish I were home, to sit next to him...
I miss my "family" so much right now...
lovelovelove
absolute love

Hey now...did you know?

2009-08-31T19:47:00.000-07:00

...this is for you nanaimo crackheads....if you want crack now, come to nicol street pawn and ask where their crack shack is...if they tell you they don't know what you mean? don't believe them.
for anyone else out there who wants to fight the good fight? call nicol street pawn at (250) 716-1674 (block your number or use a payphone, if you feel the need) and tell them you know their rental is a crackshack.
every little bit helps
please and thank you

still living in the church of Martin.

2009-08-30T19:18:00.000-07:00

Did you know our new mayor supports BSL? I call that BS!!!

2009-08-29T18:21:00.000-07:00

) NANAIMO KENNEL CLUB
Is pleased to present a public forum on“Putting a Muzzle on Dog BITE Incidents in your Community” And “Responsible Dog Ownership”Speaker: Bill Bruce, Director of Animal Services and Bylaws, Calgary DATE: Wednesday, September 23, 2009LOCATION: Beban Park AuditoriumTIME: 7:00 pm to 9:00 pmCOST: No charge to attend If you love dogs and have them in your life, you need to attend this forum to find out what may lie ahead....Find out why the most common "knee-jerk" actions, and traditional bylaws DO NOT work, and discover a role model that has a proven track record that DOES work. Learn about possible dog bylaw changes, bite and muzzling issues and much more. Learn about the dog bylaws implemented in Calgary by Mr. Bruce and why they are among the most successful in North America. Responsible dog ownership and how it affects you and your life, how it impacts on your city, your home and most importantly your dogs. Mr. Bruce will be coming to Nanaimo to share his expertise and knowledge on this important subject with us. As part of the Canadian Kennel Club’s encouragement for Responsible Dog Ownership and RDOG walks being held all across Canada, the NKC invites you to attend this topical and worthwhile presentation.

Home
About NKC
Our Activities

NKC Public Forum
Come and support the NKC on Wednesday, September 23, 2009 for a presentation by Bill Bruce from Calgary.
Mr. Bruce is the Director of Animal Services and Bylaws for the city of Calgary. Calgary has one of the most successful dog bylaw programs in North America.

Please feel free to print and post this flyer, forward to all your friends and neighbors. Everyone will benefit from attending this evening.

If you would like to help the organizing committee on this event, please contact Del Beaulacs (250-716-1701 - beaulacs@telus.netThis email address is being protected from spam bots, you need Javascript enabled to view it ) or Sandi Malcolm (250-729-9920 - mimicker@telus.netThis email address is being protected from spam bots, you need Javascript enabled to view it )

NANAIMO KENNEL CLUB
Is pleased to present a public forum on
“Putting a Muzzle on Dog BITE Incidents in your Community”
And
“Responsible Dog Ownership”

Speaker: Bill Bruce, Director of Animal Services and Bylaws, Calgary

DATE: Wednesday, September 23, 2009
LOCATION: Beban Park Auditorium
TIME: 7:00 pm to 9:00 pm
COST: No charge to attend

If you love dogs and have them in your life, you need to attend this forum to find out what may lie ahead....
Find out why the most common "knee-jerk" actions, and traditional bylaws DO NOT work,
and discover a role model that has a proven track record that DOES work.
Learn about possible dog bylaw changes, bite and muzzling issues and much more.

Learn about the dog bylaws implemented in Calgary by Mr. Bruce and why they are among the most successful in North America. Responsible dog ownership and how it affects you and your life, how it impacts on your city, your home and most importantly your dogs. Mr. Bruce will be coming to Nanaimo to share his expertise and knowledge on this important subject with us.

As part of the Canadian Kennel Club’s encouragement for Responsible Dog Ownership and RDOG walks being held all across Canada, the NKC invites you to attend this topical and worthwhile presentation.

Home Events NKC Public Forum

http://lassiegethelp.blogspot.com/2007/08/dangerous-breeds-dog-bite-statistics.html

Get real...and? BSL? Bullshit Splains Lots(Lucy).

http://saveourdogs.net/2009/08/09/the-calgary-model-for-success/
(must be government or something that this just does not appear automatically as a link...! but???? copy and paste, please. it really is so easy!!!!) And so very, very important.

the answer...not that i have any questions.

it's been like this....

2009-08-25T17:00:00.000-07:00

on every front....so please, please....bear with me.

seriously....

2009-08-24T17:05:00.000-07:00

if music was religion... and how it makes you feel....
like something better is definitely out there....
waiting to take us home...
ALL of us...
i would convert.
or commit.
to something.
somewhere.

who am i?

2009-08-20T12:46:00.000-07:00

seriously, has gospel ever been this good?
AND? I still hate the johns and the drug dealers....and yes, even the crackwhores... but i am human. for now.

maybe we have too many people.........

2009-08-20T12:24:00.000-07:00

2009-08-13T11:15:00.001-07:00

Goodbye, John Hughes.

2009-08-06T16:27:00.000-07:00

All us kids from the 80's will miss your voice... we think you kind of "got us"
lovelovelove
peaceout.

sleep well and sound.

it's been something else lately

2009-08-05T15:20:00.000-07:00

i've been somewhere else lately....
these past months are some of the hardest times...and it's hard to write about it. i hate whiners. not allowed in my family. there was no room for it. unless you're on your deathbed? don't call in sick. bleeding? can it be bandaged here at home? just how high is that temperature? i can't take this day of work to make it better. get dressed...go to school. don't say anything about it. you're fine.
it's conditioning.
even now, it's hard to overcome.
it's been a long, hard time.
i am tired.
eem-er is flagging a bit already. sleeping lots. breaking my heart.
work seems harder.
home is difficult. at it's best sometimes.
i miss ease
laughter
i remember plans to get out of here.
to the mountains.
to quietude.
but i think i am the only one who remembers.
been too crazy on the street trying to make things better.
just makes thing worse....

as i have said once or twice before...
i have an overwhelming need to "go home"
but don't know where that is

camp dog

2009-08-03T19:26:00.000-07:00

deliciously dirty....
how much i love summer....

sometimes the music says it better....

2009-07-30T19:55:00.000-07:00

Ben Harper here

I can change the world

With my own two hands

Make a better place

With my own two hands

Make a kinder place

Oh-

with my

Oh- with my own two hands

With my own

Oh- with my own two hands

With my own

With my own two hands

I can make peace on earth

With my own two hands

And I can clean up the earth

Oh- with my own two hands

And I can reach out to you

Oh- with my own two hands

With my own

With my own two hands

Oh- with my own

Oh- with my own two hands

I'm gonna make it a brighter place(with my own)

I'm gonna make it a safer place(with my own)

I'm gonna help the human race(with my own)(with my own two hands)

Now I can hold you

With my own two hands

And I can comfort you

With my own two hands

But you got to use

Use your own two hands

Use your own

Use your own two hands

And with our own

With our own two hands

With our

With our own two hands

Oh- with my own

With my own two hands

I'm gonna make it a brighter place(with my own)

I'm gonna make it a safer place(with my own)I'm gonna help the human race(with my own)

Oh- make it a brighter place(with my own)

I can hold you(with my own)

And I can comfort you(with my own)

But you got

You got

You got to use

Oh- use your own

Lord

But you got

You got

You got to use - use

Use your own

* i don't have any words of my own right now....for a while, for some time now... or, at least i can't articulate them. bear with me.

thought i knew ya....

2009-07-28T21:46:00.000-07:00

When we met I was wide eyed city boy
Singin in the streets to feed my hope and joy
We had mad lovin and so fast was our flame
When it went out you got so mad
Talkin trash bout me
Comin round at me
Making a tale of fool’s gold my reputation
Little miss sunshine’s who I met that day
When I walked out it felt like a hurricane
Thought I knew ya
Like I could see right through ya
But the look in your eyes took me by surprise
And I lost control
Thought I knew ya
Like I had a direct line to ya
But I was wrong
Then I caught a shooting a star living photograph
A Buddhist hipster from the purple skies of LA
The ground would shake all understanding now
As I was so smitten with her suede
It went from screamin oh baby
To see you later maybe
I aint laughin now how the tables turn
Her fine print swiftly stole away
I’ll see you in the next life baby namaste
Thought I knew ya
Thought I could see right through ya
What a surprise to open your eyes
And find a hole in your soul
I thought I knew ya
Like I had a direct line to some power greater than myself
So I walked down to the Someday Café
To get my cup o coffee for the day
But they tore it down andPut up another bank of the USA
Where my paradise used to be
I thought I knew ya
Thought I knew myself too yeah
The chink in the wall
I scratched it only yesterday
I thought I knew ya
But my lines were rusted through yeah
But to think is wrong but to sing is right
So meet me at the bridge tonight
To see me reflection in the pond
To wonder what’s a goin on beyond
What I’m tryin to say just won’t come out
But I long to hear you say...............

hallelujah

2009-07-22T15:10:00.000-07:00

it's been a difficult time, and tough to write...

2009-07-20T19:11:00.000-07:00

but i am finding peace here, too....and want to tell you all about...and will....soon enough.
i am reading along with you all....i am here, trying to make a rational thought or two, communing with you all while not commenting....conserving my energy, maybe.
also busy with work, life, hikes, dogs, desires, etc....although there are more hours in the day during these precious summer months, that does not mean those extra hours will be devoted to blogs...there are swimming holes to swim, raspberries to pick, trails to traverse, picnics to devour, and things to be done....as well as words to find.
peace out