sassykrafty:

What I Did Last Sunday

2008-09-11T20:32:00.004-05:00

(from left to right: Megan, Mindy, Kim, & Kara)

I was just thinking the other day about how I've only known some of my closest friends for about a year now. Doesn't that seem weird? But seriously, it took me until I was in my 30s to realize who I was, put that person out there, and then make new friends. I'm talking specifically about my knitting friends. We have only been hanging out for a little over a year, and yet it feels as though we have known each other for a lifetime. That's what I call good friends.

So some of us knitting girls got together this past Sunday for a night of dining and dyeing at Mindy's. Mindy is our resident expert dyer. She even has an Etsy Shop at YarningYenta.etsy.com, where she dyes up awesome self-striping yarn with a Muppet theme.

Here's what the rest of us dyed:

Megan dyed some roving from a friend

Kara dyed some sparkly yarn

Kim dyed some bamboo roving

and I dyed some wool roving from Kim

Kim is our resident expert spinner (we need experts in all areas, right?) Apparently Kim has volunteered to spin up everyone's roving. Can't wait to see what they look like!

A Little Bit of Everything

2008-09-07T12:42:00.006-05:00

My mania continues, and so my knitting ADHD does as well. First, though, a pic of me wearing Josephine. Didn't she turn out lovely? I wore her to Knit Night at Knitorious this past Wednesday, and had Mindy take a picture before we went.

I am diligently working on Elann's Voyager Lace Stole in Malabrigo Silky Merino, which I will be wearing as one of the bridesmaids in Mindy's wedding.

It takes me about 35 minutes to finish a 10 row repeat. I estimated that if I do a lace repeat every day, I should be done by October 3. As of today, I am already working on this coming Wednesday's repeat. I really worked a lot on it last night and this morning so I could finally join my fourth (and last) ball of yarn. I've been listening to my podcasts while knitting, which I really enjoy.

However, I keep getting distracted by casting on new projects. First came my second Rusted Root. You may remember the first one I knit I gave to my sister Cindy. I decided it turned out so well, I wanted to make one for myself! I had some Debbie Bliss Cathay in my stash. Even though I love the color and I think the Cathay looks beautiful once knit, I think it is a pain to knit with. I am finding that it is extremely splitty. I actually thought that about the Debbie Bliss Baby Cashmerino that I used for Cindy's Misty Garden scarf as well. You'd think I'd have learned not to use Debbie Bliss. But I can't help it - it's so pretty!

The second project I casted on this week was the Rainy Day Socks. This pattern originally appeared in the now defunct MagKnits, but is now on the Knotions website instead. I'm using Earthly Hues Saplings in Peace, which I got from The Loopy Ewe. I guess I needed some instant gratification, and since these socks are knit in sportweight yarn, I'm definitely seeing results. Plus, I really needed something I could carry around in my purse, since I try to take knitting to my group every day. Although I should be working on the stole non-stop, it is getting a little too big to carry around in my purse. It's funny, everyone at group is always interested in what I am knitting, and a lot of them scold me when I'm working on something other than the stole!

Dear Diary

2008-09-01T22:41:00.005-05:00

So I've decided to change things up a bit here. I'll continue to blog about knitting and crafty stuff, I promise. But I'm also going to use this as a space to write about my Bipolar Disorder (BPD) as well. I really need a place to put some things down, and so why not share it with the Internet universe? Of course I will not take it personally if you skim right through the "Dear Diary" posts and go to the knitting pictures...

As some of you may know, I have been in a partial hospitalization program for the last 3 weeks. I had apparently been going downhill for a while, but pretty much refused to see it for what it was. I am one of those people who tries to ignore the problem, sometimes to the point of pretending it doesn't even exist. I am learning in my program that ignorance is not bliss when it comes to BPD. I had been missing work on a fairly regular basis (yes, at my new job,) and yet I kept thinking I was just being lazy or skipping simply because "I felt like it," rather than the real reason, which was "I couldn't get out of bed."

I know I have BPD, and have actually had the diagnosis for quite a few years. I've even been in and out of hospitals and treatment programs a few times. After each one, I'd feel better and rush back into life, totally ignoring what I needed to do to keep up with my disorder on a day to day basis. Let me state the obvious: it doesn't work that way.

Now I am in a program once more. It's actually a program I was in a few years ago, and I honestly learned so much about myself last time that I figured, sure, why not try it again? The difference now is that my primary focus is to accept that I have BPD. Acceptance is the key to managing my illness. Up to this point, I didn't accept it. I didn't want it. In fact, I hated it. So I chose to shove it as far down in me as possible so I wouldn't have to think about it every day. Interestingly enough, it came up with such force that it knocked me down. I literally reached a point where I could not function any more. Thank god for good friends who are understanding and supportive, who were willing to sit with me on the phone, in the ER, and at the evaluation for the program. I am so lucky to have such great people in my life.

My meds had been changed 4 times since I started the program, and my moods have been all over the place. I think it is getting better, but since I've been sick for so long, it's difficult to know what better should really feel like. I'm still having moments of depression, and struggling through simple things. I'm also still experiencing some mania, like I have this weekend. I honestly could not sleep last night without taking a pill to relax. I feel anxious and on over-drive tonight. I was wondering on Friday, when I first felt the mania setting in, if it really was mania. (Sometimes I question if I can really tell the difference between happy and manic.) I even thought to myself that if it became uncomfortable by Sunday, I would know it was true mania. And now here I am, uncomfortable. I have this urge to do a million things, especially to be creative. So here I am, typing feverishly. I just casted on a new knitting project. I'm ready to pull out all of my beads and make jewelry. I want to learn to weave. And I have so many ideas for holiday presents for my friends that I want to work on. It's 11:15 at night people! I need to be going to bed. And yet I can't seem to calm down. So I thought I'd write to you all...

FOs - A Follow Up to The First Installment of WIPs

2008-08-30T14:38:00.012-05:00

I have finished objects to show you! I think posting about them really worked. It made me feel accountable to my knitting friends out there. Thanks for all of your encouragement!

I've been waiting to blog until I had a better picture of Josephine (maybe of me actually wearing her) but I can't seem to get that done. That's my perfectionism showing its ugly face. Perfectionism leads to procrastination, so I've been told (and so I've always proven.) So, enough procrastinating! Oh, and I gave the Jaywalker socks to my sister already. When she found out they were done, she had to have them! Guess I'll have to think about what else to knit her for Christmas...

Pattern: Josephine Top, Interweave Knits, Summer 2007

Time to Knit: April 21-July 29, 2008

Yarn: Elann Callista, Desert Rose, 7 skeins

Needle: US Size 3

Pattern: Jaywalker, by Grumperina

Time to Knit: April 14, 2007 - August 9, 2008

Yarn: Scout's Swag Superwash Fingering in Hot Fudge Sundae

Needle: US Size 1

Now I'm working feverishly on the Voyager Lace Stole for Mindy's wedding on October 19. I am exactly halfway done; just started my third of 4 balls today. I have estimated that I need to knit one pattern repeat (10 rows) each day in order to finish by October 3 and have time to block it. Unfortunately, I am already behind; I'm knitting Thursday's repeat, and today is Saturday. Oh so typical of me...

WIPs: The First Installment

2008-07-28T20:54:00.001-05:00

I can hardly withstand the urge to cast on - it's driving me crazy. So I thought it would be a good idea to show you what all I really need to be working on, and maybe set some goals to finish what's already been started. Here's the first installment of the projects on my needles:

First, we have sweet Josephine.

My goal is to finish her by the end of next week. I just need to force myself to sit down and do it. I started her on April 21, 2008, and I absolutely flew through the knitting of this pattern. Until I got to the part where I have to pick up stitches. As you can see, I have the clips placed strategically showing me how many stitches to pick up in each section. I've even given it a shot a few times. But I keep screwing it up. Anyone want to pick up my stitches for me?

Second, I have my sister Cindy's pair of Jaywalkers.

I started these on April 14, 2007. How embarrassing is that? Mindy mentioned to me during Knit Nite last week that maybe I should pick them up again. They've been hibernating for a super long time; in fact, I can't remember the last time I worked on them. Until now. Here's the second sock , which I've been working on since last Wednesday. I am so proud! Thanks for the encouragement Mindy!

I'd like to finish the second sock by the end of August. Then I can decide if I want to save them for a Christmas gift, or give them to Cindy sooner. I've actually be contemplating knitting her something else as well for Christmas, using my Malabrigo in Azul Profundo. Blue has always been her favorite color. And I absolutely love knitting with Malabrigo.

Maybe the Dream in Color Shrug, or a cowl, mittens and hat. What do you think? Of course, starting something new for the sake of Christmas is ok, right?

See how quickly I get distracted?

Oh Heavens

2008-07-26T16:35:00.006-05:00

My friend Mindy gives me a hard time because I use the phrase "oh heavens" quite a bit. For example, she told me her new roof is going to cost a ton of money, and I said "oh heavens." See how it's used? Anyway, I think it is appropriate for my post today as well.

I stopped in to visit Sheri at The Loopy Ewe yesterday after work. (Remember how I used to work there? That's the only downside to my new job - not being surrounded by yarn!) Anyway, Sheri has got to be the nicest person I know. She was kind enough to stay late so I could do a little birthday shopping for my friend Kim. (By the time I post this Kim will already have her gift, so I'm safe.) I wanted to get Kim some roving, as she is really taking off with the spinning thing. However, I know absolutely nothing about spinning, so I went to an expert. Sheri helped me pick out what I think is some beautiful Enchanted Knoll roving. (Checking out all the roving almost makes me want to learn to spin. Like I need another hobby.)

Here's where the "oh heavens" comes in. I might have also bought a couple of skeins of yarn for myself. Ok, might isn't really the right word. I just plain did. I haven't bought sock yarn in quite while, and being in the middle of all of the gorgeousness at TLE was too much of a temptation for me. The good thing is, I now have a good income and can allow myself some fun money (read: yarn allowance) again. So, I splurged. Oh heavens.

This first one is Pagewood Farm Alyeska, in the Mississippi Mud Colorway. This stuff is 80% Merino, 10% Cashmere, 10% Nylon. It is absolutely dreamy. For some reason I have been on a golden kick; I don't know if I'm thinking about Fall, or honey, or bees, or what, but this color is exactly what I was looking for.

And the second one is Creatively Dyed Yarns Luxury in the Cabin in the Woods Colorway. And guess what? It is also 80% Merino, 10% Cashmere, 10% Nylon. See a theme here?

(I wish I could figure out why this photo keeps flipping sideways. It did that in Flickr too; it's driving me crazy.)

As much as I am dying to start knitting both of these yarns, I am presently winning the struggle against the cast on monster. This is because I have a boat load of projects on the needles. Even so, the urge to cast on something new is about to drive me nuts. Casting on is my drug of choice, I suppose. I love the rush I get from starting something new, and for the first few days I can't get enough of that project. Once the newness (high) wears off, I have such an urge to start something else that it's almost ridiculous. Does anyone else know how I feel? I keep trying to justify it all by telling myself that it's ok to have a ton of WIPs and UFOs, but I can't seem to get rid of the guilt. And so I continue to fight my addiction...

Alive & Kickin'

2008-05-28T21:43:00.004-05:00

Hey everyone! Yep, believe the title. I am alive and in fact, doing very well. I'll try to write a little more often - I have so much to catch ya'll up on!

I left the yarn business and have gone back to social work, as of yesterday. I started a new job as an Employee Assistance Program (EAP) Counselor at Magellan Health Services. It is a fantastic job, albeit slightly overwhelming, with a fairly large learning curve. There is so much information to learn! But everyone there is wonderful, and I'm really enjoying being back in my profession. I enjoyed my time at both Hearthstone Knits and The Loopy Ewe, but my heart was calling me back to social work. Plus, a higher salary and benefits are simply what this single girl needs!

Speaking of being single, I have been hitting eHarmony hard the last few months. I can't even tell you how many dates I've been on, people I've met, dinners I've eaten. I feel a little trampy actually, but I am told that this is how you meet people, so I'm giving it my all. I have to admit, I have a few pretty crazy stories, but for the most part, it's been a lot of fun. Wish me luck - I'm so ready to meet someone special...

My 33rd birthday was earlier this month. Seriously, I think it was my best birthday ever. I not only got to celebrate the week before by going for Thai and drinks with about 12 of my friends, but then celebrated again the day of at Mindy and Eric's with a fantastic home cooked meal. Check out what we had for dessert:

Yes, that's us roasting marshmallows on candles at the dining room table! I once shared with Mindy and Kara that I used to roast tiny marshmallows on toothpicks on candles when I was younger. (One of my favorite treats!) Mindy thought it would only be appropriate to roast some on my birthday. We had originally planned to do it outside with a regular fire, but it just happened to be raining that night, so we tried it my old fashioned way. It looks to me like Mindy enjoyed it - what do you think?

Kara was also wonderful enough to bake German Chocolate cupcakes, which you can see in the foreground. So yummy!

Dear Blogger

2008-03-24T21:12:00.004-05:00

What did you do with all of the lovely, heartfelt comments on my last post? I hadn't even had time to personally respond to each one. (My apologies on Blogger's behalf for this mishap.)

Seriously, thank you so much to everyone for the comments that have helped me continue breathing each day. You all are so kind, and I value you as friends.

Broken

2008-03-18T21:50:00.004-05:00

My heart got broken this past week.

I am still in the space in time where you're not sure what to think or how to feel.

To be truthful, and to quote so many special people in my life who are doing so much to pull me through this, the relationship had become unhealthy. It needed to end. Yes, I can admit that. But knowing that does not make it hurt any less. Nor does it make me the least bit thankful for the way it ended.

Unfortunately, I was too stubborn to walk away from it on my own, and something drastic had to happen.

It is so amazing to me that someone you have put your trust in completely for so many moments in your life is the person who ends up tearing you into a million little pieces.

So I just keep breathing, sharing time and thoughts and feelings with my wonderful friends. And I know that because I have opened that space in my heart, something amazing can fill it.

The Answer to All of My (Knitting) Problems

2008-01-12T22:11:00.000-06:00

So I've never been much of a swatcher. In all honesty, I rarely swatch at all. If I do actually make a gauge swatch, I am never all that particular about it, and have been guilty of the whole "close enough" thing. If you are a serious swatcher, I am sure you are gasping at this point. I now understand. Here's my story.

I am working on a super secret project with a few friends. It's one of those joint projects, so all of our individual items need to match each other's. At first, I just wasn't all that concerned about gauge, and leaving up to the swatch gods as usual seemed to be a fine plan. However, soon after we received our knitting assignments for the project, emails began to circulate. Now let me tell you, not just one or two calm emails, but dozens of panicked emails of people claiming they were not getting the gauge the pattern had called for on the needles it suggested. This struck me as a point of concern for myself, and I made a mental note to actually, really, (try to) swatch for this project. I mean, I didn't want to be the one to screw everything up.

On new year's eve, I got together with a few close knitting friends. We had decided to ring in the new year by knitting (how awesome was that?!) and we planned to work on our joint project. Excellent, I thought. This will be my motivation to get started, and I'll just bring needles that were one size above as well as one size below the needles being suggested in the pattern. The pattern called for Size 7s, so I brought along my Size 6s, Size 7s, and Size 8s. I felt totally prepared. If only I had known...

Now let me clear my throat at this point. (Ah-hem.) I want to make sure I have your utmost attention.

I ended up getting gauge on Size 4s.

Needless to say, I had to borrow needles from one of the girls. I had not at all been prepared for that revelation. Size 4s? Really? But I had Kara check it for me, a few times, actually. And yes, I was getting gauge on Size 4s.

So do you think this explains why all of my knitted items have always turned out so big up to this point?

"I, Kathy," (raises right hand) "do hereby promise to (try to remember to) do a gauge swatch for all projects from here forth."

Who knew I was such a loose knitter?!

Where To Begin

2008-01-01T14:32:00.000-06:00

So I've been working on making my New Year's Resolution list. No, make that lists. Last year, I made a list of 10 crafting goals. I only achieved 5 of them. Or maybe I should look at the glass half full, and say I achieved 5 of them! (I think I like that better - I must resolve to be more positive.) Anyway, here are the ones I accomplished:

Knitted my first sweater (although it wasn't the Hourglass Sweater that I had originally intended for my first sweater project. It actually ended up being Wicked. Which doesn't really fit. But we don't need to focus on those minor details, do we?)
Finished knitting my first pair of socks.
Joined a Stitch n' Bitch group.
Learned to knit from a chart (which is now how I prefer to knit whenever possible.)
Learned to knit cables (on a pair of Fetchings, as I had intended.)

So, not too bad really. It was obviously a big year for me knitting-wise. I really feel proud that I attempted so many new things this year, not only techniques, but meeting new people and starting new jobs, all that involve knitting. Wow - what an awesome year!

So, now for my list of crafting goals for this year. (Some of them have just graduated from last year's list to this year's list, but whatever.)

2008 Crafting Goals

Learn to knit color work (fair isle and intarsia.)
Learn to crochet.
Learn to sew.
Learn Adobe Photoshop, and possibly update my blog with it.
Blog at least once a week.
Knit only from stash; no yarn purchases (This will be accomplished by participating in the Yarn Diet, which I'll explain more later.)
Bead at least one project each month.
Finish all projects within 1 year of their start date (This means that anything that has been started on January 1, 2008 must either be completed or frogged by January 1, 2009. This also means that anything that is on my needles as of today must be off my needles by this day next year. No more UFOs lying around forever.)

So, I've also been working on a list of more personal goals for 2008. As a lot of you know, I have Bipolar Disorder II, and have really struggled with things in the not so distant past. Depression used to dominate my decisions and my way of life, and I would isolate myself. I also "self-medicated" with "retail therapy." Unfortunately, retail therapy was actually a compulsive shopping addiction, which had gotten so out of control that I had stopped spending time with friends, and instead spent hours online or in the stores, alone, secretly shopping, and racking up huge credit card bills.

I have been working hard on getting and staying mentally healthy all year. I finally felt like I had the depression under control. I believed things were really looking so much better, except for this one huge secret I was hiding. Just a couple of weeks ago, I reached my breaking point with the shopping. I spent a lot of time crying, talking with my therapist, and then took what I thought was the hardest step. I admitted my problem to my friends, and asked for help. Many of my goals for 2008 involve the changes I need to make because of all of this. I think this is a very good thing. 2007 was a year of tremendous growth for me, and I now feel much more prepared to deal with things.

2008 Personal Goals

Stop shopping.
Get finances in order by contacting Consumer Credit Counseling.
Limit Internet surfing time each day (I haven't really decided how much time I should allow myself. Maybe I could set a timer? I just know that if I can spend less time on the Internet, I will spend more time with friends, and that is important to me. Plus, if I could fantasize less and actually knit more, think of how many projects I can complete this year!)
Keep in better contact with friends. This means answering the phone when they call, making the effort to call them, and keeping up with emails. This also means not cancelling plans with them.
Be in bed with lights out by 11:30pm on work nights. (It's super-important for me to stay on a fairly regular schedule. However, I am such a night owl!)
Eat healthier. This means cooking more and eating less sweets (I know I need more details there; I will continue to refine this one.)
Attend church at least once a month.
Work on balancing out my time alone and my time spent with others (I have a hard time saying no. I have to keep reminding myself that it's ok to spend a relaxing day at home with no plans, and that I should actually schedule that time.)

Whew! I have a lot to work on this year. I honestly get so excited about making all of these lists. My sister likes to give me a hard time - she says she never makes new year's resolutions, and she teases me about making lists for everything!

So, now for the Yarn Diet. Kara and I had already been discussing our plans for a yarn diet over the past 2 weeks or so. Last night, while we were knitting in the new year, she and I, plus Kim and Mindy, discussed it as a group and have made it official. I think it is an awesome plan!

The 2008 Yarn Diet

Dates: January 1, 2008 until Stitches Midwest (August 21, 2008) Participants: Kim, Kara, Kathy, Mindy

Rules:

Needles/accessories/tools are ok.
You can purchase yarn to finish a project if you run out.
Roving/fiber does not count (This really only applies to Kim at this point, she's our only spinner.)
Gift yarn/gift certificates are ok (to give and receive.)
You are allowed to purchase up to 3 knitting-related books.
Magazines don't count.
Trading yarn in the group is ok.
Kim's exceptions - can buy yarn for 2 baby gifts and a wedding gift.

Rewards/Punishments:

For each week that you do not buy yarn, you put aside an designated amount of money (say $5.00) that you will be able to spend at Stitches Midwest. If you buy yarn, you must take the amount of money you used to purchase it out of your Stitches fund and donate it to a charity of your choice. At the end of the diet, the money left in the fund can be spent at Stitches Midwest. Mindy also suggested that we could also possibly add to our fund by putting a designated amount of money in when we complete a project.

This is perfect for me. First, I have people to be accountable to. Second, we are already planning/saving for our trip to Stitches Midwest!

So, what are your resolutions?

Happiness & Contentment

2007-11-18T21:17:00.001-06:00

I know I haven't blogged in a while, especially about anything personal. For those of you who know me well, getting personal and sharing is a tough thing for me. However, I've been wanting to catch everyone up on what's been happening in the employment realm of my life for a while.

I spoke of changes a while back. Boy, have things in my life changed! Leaving my job at the hospital was such a positive change in itself. My mood improved so much, and my stress level (related to work) is really nonexistent at this point. But stepping away from my career as a social worker was still hard. I really felt as though being a social worker defined me, in a way. My career has been the main focus of my life for the past 11 years. I wondered what on earth I could do besides social work, and if I could find a new job that would feel as fulfilling as social work. I wondered if I would have a chance to work with people I felt as comfortable with as the girls in our social work department, and if I could find a job in which I could help people. Let me tell you, within days, I found two jobs that filled all of those requirements, and more.

At the end of September, I was blessed with 2 dream jobs. (Oh, the day care thing didn't work out - I knew after only 2 days there that 16 two year olds and over an hour long drive each way were not my thing!) However, almost immediately after that realization, I practically fell into 2 part-time jobs that were absolutely perfect.

First, I was hired by the talented Georgia of Hearthstone Knits. (I have no link for Georgia or the store yet. Her site is in the development phase - I will keep you updated.) Hearthstone is my very local yarn store - just a couple of miles up the road, actually. I have been in there a number of times over the past few years that I have been knitting. Now, I'm there every Thursday and Saturday. Needless to say, I love it! Georgia is so kind and so knowledgeable - her knitting talent overwhelms me at times. I learn something new every day that I am there. The other staff at Hearthstone is great too; we really seem to enjoy ourselves while working! (Of course, how could we not? We are knitters/crocheters surrounded by yarn and other crafters all day. We can even knit at work if we have a spare moment. Who would have ever imagined, me getting to knit at work?!)

So, just when you think, wow, how could life get any better, take note of my second job as a Loopy Ewe Elf. That's right, I also now work for Sheri at The Loopy Ewe. Again, such an amazing job, with such amazing people. Sheri is an awesome Christian business woman, and is so great to work for. Her kindness and dedication is contagious. The rest of the staff is also fantastic; everyone is so enjoyable to be around. We laugh a lot, we work very hard, and we see a lot of yarn. What more could I ask for?

Travis always tells me that God has always looked out for me and provided exactly what I needed throughout my life, especially over the past few years. If these jobs and the people in them aren't proof of God's care for me, I don't know what is. I have to thank Him for the happiness and contentment that I finally feel.

Christmas in October

2007-10-21T18:55:00.000-05:00

Pattern: Rusted Root by Zephyr Style

Yarn: Knit Picks Merino Style in Moss, 6.5 skeins

Needles: Knit Picks Options Size 7 & 5

Started: 9/13/07

Finished: 10/19/07

A Christmas present for my sister Cindy. Yes, it's October. I couldn't wait to give it to her. How awesome does she look? I'm so thrilled that it fits her perfectly! Especially after I had frogged it so many times. Completely worth it.

Finally Fetching

2007-10-04T23:13:00.001-05:00

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I can now cable. Behold, Fetching (the first of many. I'm ready to cast on my second pair already.) This pattern is fantastic! What took me so long to try it out?)

Pattern: Fetching

Yarn: 1 skein Artyarns Supermerino 122

Needles: Size 6 Crystal Palace Bamboo DPNs

Started: 9/30/07

Finished: 10/3/07

Change Is In the Air

2007-09-21T23:25:00.001-05:00

I haven't blogged in a while. As Travis would say, I'm stating the obvious. I love to do that. But I feel like I just need to get it out there, you know? Honestly, I have been fairly blue the last couple of weeks, and I've been using all of my energy to fight off my SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder, or "depression that hits me when Fall starts.") We had a week or so here that was actually a little chilly, and although I absolutely love Fall, my chemicals seem to feel otherwise. This pretty much happens every year, around the same time, and I have had a couple of days when I really wanted to give up, and just collapse into the depression. But, I'm not going to allow that to happen. I feel more prepared than ever this year to fend it off, and have been taking the appropriate steps in my action plan to stay well. I know this all sounds a little weird, but it works, believe me, and I have to do what works.

One huge step I took today was that I resigned from my job as a social worker at the hospital. I know that work has been playing a huge part in affecting my mood. Things just weren't getting any easier; they were getting harder and more stressful, and I felt like I had no support from either my supervisor or my boss. I really believe you can only push yourself so far before you break. I am not willing to break, as I have in the past. I do not want to allow myself to stay in a situation that eventually leads to me crying on the floor in my apartment without being able to pick myself up. My job helps me live my life, but it does not have to become it. And I've been on the floor in my apartment crying before. I remember what it feels like. I remember how painful it is to get out of bed, to take a shower, or to make myself eat a meal. I am not willing to go there again, and I think leaving my job will help to prevent it. This is me taking the steps to stay healthy!

Now for a little bit of panic (naturally.) I don't actually know what I want to do with my life at this point. Maybe I need a break from social work; I've been doing it for 11 years. It definitely wears on sometimes. However, I love what I do. (Yes, this is me talking out of both sides of my head. I tend to do that, too.) So, I've been searching online and applying for various jobs, some social work related, some not. Ironically, I called Cindy (my sister) yesterday to tell her I was leaving my job, and as it turns out, she needs a two year old teacher at her day care. She asked if I could start Monday! How fantastic is that?! No, it's not going to pay anywhere close to what I was making at the hospital. But it is a job, which means money coming in, and I am so thankful. Was that divine intervention or what?!

I have also been destashing over the last few weeks. I am feeling a need to clean out my home, my life. I hate to admit it, but sometimes I have a problem with being materialistic. I have a tendency to shop when I feel down, in an attempt to make myself feel better. (This is actually a symptom of Bipolar Disorder that many people experience. Lucky me, huh?) I am making a serious effort to stop shopping and stashing. Of course, I went through my yarn first, and have sold a fairly large amount of it on EBay and Ravelry. This will obviously help a lot right now with paying my bills. I also cleaned out my closet, and have two bags for Goodwill. I offered my clothes that are too small to Mindy. Tonight, I scrubbed down my kitchen. It really feels good to cleanse my life.

I just have to keep reminding myself that all this change is good. My friend Lynn from work gave me a beautiful card today, and in it she put this quote:

"Anyone can give up, it's the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone would understand if you fell apart, that's true strength."

Yes, it is.

Thursday Goodness

2007-09-06T19:57:00.000-05:00

As promised, here's Orangina.

Pattern: Orangina by Glampyre Knits

Yarn: 1.5 skeins Circulo Anne in Orange

Needles: Size 3 24 inch Knit Picks Circular

Started: 7/07

Finished: 9/4/07

I loved knitting this pattern. The lace makes it look so intricate and detailed, but the truth is, it was so easy to memorize. Plus, the yarn I used was super-cheap and yet feels great. I received a lot of compliments on this last night at Knit Nite. Kara took this picture of me modeling it while we were at Knitorious. I was terrified to wear something I knit out in public. However, not only did I wear it to Knitorious, but I also still had it on when we went to The Kind & I for Thai food! I have to admit, I'm still a little self-conscious about the weight I have gained over the past year or so, and at first I felt like Orangina made me look huge. I just have to get used to the new me, and to keep reminding myself that it's better to be a size 10 or 12 and be happy than to be a size 4 or 6 and miserable (which I once was.)

In other news, I received some absolutely gorgeous handspun yarn from Funky Carolina.

Bronze Goddess

Apple Blossom

This is my first handspun. Carrie makes such beautiful yarn and roving. She was even recently featured on Lime & Violet's Daily Chum (although I'd like to put it in the record that I ordered it before I knew she was going to be so famous!) So now I have to figure out what to knit with each skein. I honestly just keep holding them, unsure if I will ever have the nerve to knit them at all!

Now for Stitches Midwest. Here are a couple of pictures of the wonderful people I spent time with there. (Better late than never, right?)

This is Sarah (of The Plucky Knitter fame) and I the first night we met, with all our yarn purchases from the day. Unfortunately, I'm concentrating so much on being cheesy that I forgot to hold up my yarn.

This is myself, Shannon (Sarah's sister-in-law and truly awesome blogless knitter,) and Sarah the day we were leaving Chicago. I had so much fun hanging out with the two of them. We sat in the little bar in our hotel Saturday night and talked for hours, like we had all known each other forever. I think knitting does that to people; it connects them. Too bad my picture is so blurry. And of course, once again, I am so excited that I look cheesy.

Finally, this is my sister Cindy and I. She is 6 years younger than me, and I consider her my best friend. We had so much fun that weekend together, from the late night car ride there to trying to figure out where to park at the hotel to Cindy sleeping for 11 hours Saturday night. (I think she was overwhelmed by all the knitting.) Obviously, I was such a happy camper that weekend, you couldn't have slapped that smile off my face. I never dreamed I'd be so lucky as to have such wonderful people in my life.

Can You Believe It?

2007-09-04T22:13:00.000-05:00

So, at Sunday knitting, I brought up the fact that I haven't had an FO since May. That's pretty sad, really. It's especially sad because my last FO was a garter stitch scarf. Hmm. However, as of tonight, Orangina is done. Can you believe it? I have another FO! Finally, I am proving I really can (and do) knit. I'm planning to wear it tomorrow to Knit Nite at Knitorious, where I will have Kara take a pic or two so I can show you this awesome project. It was a fun and fairly quick knit, and it turned out great. I'm so excited that it is my first adult-size knitted article of clothing that actually fits, and looks pretty good! I mean, I'm actually going to wear it in public, in front of other people; in front of other knitters, even. Woo Hoo!

You know what the best thing was about finishing this project? I got to call Kara and tell her it was done. I can't tell you enough how fantastic it is to have good knitting friends. Usually, I stand in front of the mirror in my craft room, and tell Muffin and Sam how exciting it is to have completed a knitting project. They are generally less than enthused. But Kara? She was thrilled, and so was I...

Hmm, I Wonder Who This Belongs To?

2007-08-26T11:59:00.001-05:00

The Tattoo:

Does she look familiar? (Please ignore the less than model-perfect body.)

I can't believe I did it!

I have been thinking about this for a long time now. Ask my sister, she probably got sick of me bringing it up all the time. I've gotten hooked on some of the tattoo shows on TLC, such as L.A. Ink, and a few of my work friends have tattoos. I have been scanning the internet for knitters with tattoos, and became so intrigued and mesmerized by the idea. So at lunch on Wednesday, when Sarah asked if anyone wanted to go with her to get a tattoo Friday night, I jumped at the chance. I went home that night and searched online to create the perfect knitting tattoo design.

Right after work on Friday, Leah, Sarah, and I headed to Trader Bob's, where I got my first (and let me clarify, only!) tattoo. Leah and Sarah already each had one, so they were getting their seconds. Being able to go with them was such a bonding experience. However, I have never felt such excruciating pain; I can't imagine doing it a second time!

My tattoo artist spent a lot of time really working with what I had brought in to create something that was absolutely perfect. Interestingly enough, Sarah's took around 10 minutes, Leah's took around 5 minutes, and mine took 35 minutes! Everyone kept saying they were so proud that I was able to sit through a fairly large and detailed tattoo for my first time. Let me tell you, I honestly didn't think I was going to make it. But I knew if I got up to take a break in the middle, I would never sit back down in that chair. Somehow, I made it through. And now that it's over, I feel it was totally worth it.

I had known I wanted to get a knitting related tattoo for quite a while. To some, that may seem corny or trite, but to me, it symbolizes the person I have finally become, the person I have grown into over this past year of transition. Being a knitter has brought me into a world of friendship, honesty, and value. I now know what it means to be true to myself, and to be a part of a "culture" of acceptance, uniqueness, and creativity. I would not be who I am today if I were not a knitter.

I was so touched at the timely Knitting Daily post for Friday. I firmly believe in the healing power of knitting. Some people may think I'm crazy for doing this, and a small part of me thinks so too. But I know I did it for me, not for anyone else, and I know how meaningful knitting is to me. I will remain a knitter forever.

Just a Quick Blurb

2007-08-20T21:26:00.000-05:00

Yes, I'm alive! I don't know what my deal is lately, but my time management skills suck. I think this is due in part to the fact that now that I have friends and go out and do things, I finally have a life, which prevents me from having time to blog, clean the house, etc. (I know, cleaning the house isn't really a SassyKrafty topic, but I thought I'd throw it in there. I honestly really need to clean. And let's not even discuss going to the grocery store.) I do have a lot to share with you, and to prevent a super-long post, I'm going to do this in smaller increments. Stay tuned for posts about Stitch n' Pitch, Stitches Midwest, and new yarn. For now, I wanted to show you the absolutely fantastic present my friend Mindy made for me following my surgery.

Yes, those are Gall Bladder Gift Tags and Stitch Markers! How creative - they totally cracked me up. And, how thoughtful. I really do like having friends, even if it does mean I have less time to clean the house...

Orangina

2007-07-31T21:56:00.000-05:00

Yes, I had to jump on the Orangina bandwagon. I just love Stefanie Japel's patterns! And, now that I have Ravelry, I succumb to peer pressure so quickly. It's like everyday I find something on there that someone else is knitting/has knitted, and I just have to knit it too! Plus, I really wanted to be working on something fairly mindless. In cotton. I'm guessing this is because it has been so stinking hot here. Although of course I have the fear that I won't finish it in time to wear it this summer (because apparently I don't finish projects anymore. I simply collect yarn and patterns.) Either way, Orangina is fulfilling my present knitting needs and desires. Besides, look how gorgeous this lace pattern is. And it's so easy!

On other news, Sarah, a.k.a. The Plucky Knitter, made her debut on The Loopy Ewe last night! WooHoo! I literally had been stalking the site all day yesterday (I just had a feeling a Sneak Up was coming.) Well into the evening, I noticed new icons were going up on Sheri's site, and of course, one of them was for The Plucky Knitter, which you can also get here on Etsy. I emailed Sarah immediately - how exciting to have her yarns on TLE! Anyway, the Sneak Up did happen last night, and I snatched myself a few things, including some TPK lace weight in a beautiful blue called Afternoon Tea. Gorgeous.

I believe Kara and I will be making an excursion to TLE on Friday, just to soak in a little yarny goodness and visit with Sheri. Kara has never experienced TLE in person. I am so excited to go with her!

Cindy (my sister) and I made our reservations last night for a hotel in Chicago for next week. That's right, we're going to Stitches Midwest! I can hardly believe it. It just happens to be right at the end of my medical leave from work - perfect! And, I finally get to meet Sarah in person as well. So much excitement going on around here. Although I'm wondering how Cindy (a non-knitter at this point) is going to react to all the craziness of the knitting world...

Thanks to everyone for all the well wishes and great comments on my last post. Everyone is so kind and thoughtful. It's so wonderful to have such great friends. I honestly don't know how I was living without you all for so long!

And Now For Something A Little More Exciting

2007-07-29T12:24:00.000-05:00

So apparently some people think I'm not very exciting in my blog, but am a little less boring in person. (This has kind of been an ongoing joke lately.) After much discussion with the girls, I realized this was indeed true. For those who have known me for a while, I am a fairly private person, and it takes some serious determination on my part to "share." I know, so silly, since as a social worker I ask people to share with me all day long. (Of course, work is different. Besides, I'm totally comfortable with other people sharing!)

For as long as I can remember, I wanted to hide the real me from everyone. I was terrified that if I shared who I really was, people wouldn't like me. I thought I was so different, and isolated myself to the point of feeling very alone. This was all definitely generated by a low self-esteem and a long history of depression. I have been in treatment, on meds, and worked with therapists a gazillion times. However, this year has been my turn around point. I finally asked a friend at work if I could have the name of her therapist. I took a huge step that day. My first day to share a little piece of what was going on inside of me. Asking that question and then choosing to work hard with that therapist has forever changed my life.

One of the biggest changes I've worked on and been the most proud of has been my decision to make friends. Real friends. Not just keeping up with acquaintances, but actually talking with people about my life and their lives and letting people in what I had always thought was my isolated, dark, and depressing world. As it turns out, I have similarities with all kinds of people, and I am totally loving getting to know everyone! I started with the girls at work, sharing small things about myself in small increments. Then I branched out into the knitting world, and am making some awesome friends with some fantastic people, both online and in person. I am still so stunned that I actually have plans to go out with people, and that I really look forward to going out, rather than being scared to death to leave my little apartment. I finally feel like a worthwhile human being!

So, here's where all the irony comes in. I went to a new SnB Sunday after work, saw some great people, and had a great time. Life was fine. Went to bed that night, woke up around midnight, and felt physically terrible. I had pain (which I had thought was heartburn) but it was so bad that I eventually got sick to my stomach and just cried. I didn't sleep at all the rest of the night. The next morning I called in sick to work and talked with my doctor. I just started seeing her a few months ago. She had me tested and was treating me for acid reflux, and we were both thinking this was just a nasty flare up. So she increased my meds, and that was that. Tuesday, I still felt awful, and the pain was not going away. So I missed work again (which I absolutely hate to do - honestly - I hate calling in sick.) I finally reached my breaking point Tuesday night around 9:30, and I just knew something was really wrong. I called the doctor, and she sent me to the ER. I eventually got admitted, and had a bunch of tests run. Turns out, I had 6 gallstones in my gall bladder and 1 stone stuck in my bile duct on the way to my pancreas. That was what was causing the excruciating pain. So, I am now minus 7 gallstones and 1 gall bladder! First ever surgery and first ever stay in the hospital (just got discharged yesterday.) I actually was admitted onto my own floor at the hospital! The staff was great, and I had a bunch of people stopping in to say hi. Unfortunately, for a while I was too sick to really appreciate it. Man, I have never been that sick before in my life - AWFUL!

So, now I am recuperating. Mandatory time off work (oh darn.) The only thing is, I'm not allowed to drive for a whole week. This sucks when you are a single person. Especially a single person who finally enjoys doing things with friends! (See the irony there?!) But this is all ok. First, I will have tons of time to knit and read and blog, which I am always wanting to do. Second, the doctor seems to think these stones have been a problem for years, but had obviously never been diagnosed. She says once I get past the surgery recovery, I should feel better than ever. Looking forward to it!

So anyway, to all of you I have been getting to know and hanging out with, I will be back, just as soon as I can drive! So, do you think this post was a little more exciting?

Thanks to My Secret Pal 10

2007-07-12T18:21:00.000-05:00

A huge thanks goes out to Jeanne, who was my Secret Pal 10! She spoiled me all the way through! The final package was so thoughtful; I could really tell she put a lot of time, effort, and thought into my gifts. Check it out!

Ya'll know I've been working on lace for a while now. Jeanne decided to make my final package a "Lace Starter Kit." How perfect is that?! She sent a row counter that will hang on my needles, the Knit Picks Chart Keeper, a notebook, Lavender Eucalan, blocking pins, a skein of Elsebeth Lavold Silky Wool to knit Knitty's Branching Out, and the Knit Picks Adamas Shawl pattern for when I'm ready to dive into something more difficult. Jeanne, you are fantastic! Thank you so much for being so kind!

I Am Going To Scream (Or Maybe Cry)

2007-07-01T19:34:00.001-05:00

Ok, so apparently I'm having one of those weeks during which my knitting skills are on the blitz. Earlier this week, after being about 3/4 of the way through Cindy's Rusted Root, I decided to take some measurements of both her and the sweater. Wouldn't you know, RR was knitting up huge in the next size up. Remember how I ripped back a while ago because I thought it was too small? I completely miscalculated both the sweater's and my sister's measurements. How is that possible? So now I'm only about 1/4 of the way through the sweater at this point. I'm beginning to think it will make a good Christmas present.

In order to prevent making mistakes during the lace panel on RR, I took the Montego Bay Scarf to Knit Nite Wednesday. I had also brought along FCS, hoping that maybe someone could help me figure out a better way to keep track of my stitches. Annie was that someone. She spent some time suggesting needles to use for lace, and showing me how to separate the pattern into smaller sections using markers. Thanks Annie!

You would think after all that guidance and teaching from Annie, I would just be flying right through the FCS, right? Wrong. To add to the proof that I have absolutely no knitting skills right now, I just spent 2 1/2 hours trying to knit 4 rows on the FCS. I repeat, trying. I realized that I need to move the markers and add more every so many rows. I thought I had grasped that concept. But the marker placement thing seemed to throw me all off, and somehow I kept ending up with too many stitches. I just ripped the 4 rows out again, and am back to where I started earlier this evening. Thank goodness for lifelines, in both FCS and RR.

After a week like this, you would think I would give up knitting altogether. Not so. Interestingly enough, I instead felt the need to add more projects to my already long Queue. I blame Ravelry for that. (I think I'm already addicted.) I went to The Weaving Department yesterday, since all of their yarns were 30% off this weekend. There, I was finally able to find a Size 6 24 inch Addi Turbo Lace needle, which the FCS has been both on and off today. Of course, in knitting my four rows a million times, I did get a good chance to try this needle out. I really love it - definitely worth buying. Nice and pointy, and not quite as slippery as the Knit Picks Options. The slightest bit of drag makes me feel a little less scared about losing stitches. I also bought two different skeins of Noro Silk Garden for the Child's Rainbow Scarf in Last Minute Knitted Gifts, (I know, like I need to knit another scarf in the middle of the summer,) and a skein of Rowan Cashsoft DK to make Grumperina's Odessa. (I have never bought a skein of Rowan yarn. I am very excited to try it out.) So, are you beginning to see the winter knitting theme here? I wonder why I have such a desire/need to knit winter accessories this summer. Needless to say, I believe in the theory that the cure for WIPs that aren't going very well is to cast on for another project or two. Maybe I'll just put FCS aside for now...

A Thank You, & Always Trying Something New

2007-06-26T20:03:00.001-05:00

Here's my last set of stitch markers I received in the most recent swap. Aren't they beautiful?

They are made by Robin from The Robin's Nest. That's right, that's some handmade soap in that box, called Minty Fresh. I love it. Robin is definitely multi-talented! Thanks again Robin!

Cindy's Rusted Root is driving me a little crazy. I thought the medium size was too small for her, but I'm thinking the large is going to be way too big. I wish she was here so I could have her try it on all the time. I'm thinking I'm going to have to rip back again, and maybe add some more decreases at the waist. This thought is making me nervous, since I NEVER have the courage to alter a pattern. But, the time has come to step out of my box. However, I hope to see Cindy later on in the week, and have her try it on so I can take some more precise measurements. I'm so horrible at math. I know, hard to believe I can make it as a knitter, huh?

So what's the cure for a WIP that you just can't seem to get right? That's right, cast on for yet another project! I couldn't help it. My extra needles for my Knit Picks Options set came in the mail Saturday. Remember, I couldn't start the Forest Canopy Shoulder Shawl, since my Size 6 needles were in Rusted Root? Well, wait no more! I now have TWO pairs of every size needle from 4 to 10.5 for my Options set. I started the FCS on Sunday, messed up (before I had put a lifeline in) and started over again yesterday. Here's my progress.

I know, it's a fairly small shawl at this point. I've only done the set up rows and about 6 rows of the first body of the pattern repeat. I'm new at the whole knitting with lace weight yarn thing, so it's coming along very slowly. I'm knitting very deliberately, but I'm loving it! And of course, I'm using The Plucky Knitter Laceweight in Wuthering, which is knitting up beautifully, don't you think? I mean, look at those colors! Gorgeous! Thanks again to Sarah for allowing me to be a test knitter. I have to say, this yarn is SO soft and wonderful to work with. It just slides through my fingers, and works great with my Knit Picks needles. I hear firsthand that The Plucky Knitter yarns may just be in an upcoming Loopy Ewe sneak up. Believe me, you want to buy this yarn. It is luxurious!

I Love Saturdays

2007-06-17T00:20:00.000-05:00

I participated again in The Stitch Marker Exchange. (I really think stitch marker collecting can become as much of an obsession as yarn collecting.) I have received some great packages this week with some gorgeous stitch markers inside! First, a great set from Kimberly (notice how she even sent them on a decorated safety pin!) I love these color combos.
And second, a set from Cass, who says this is her first time making stitch markers. Looks like a pro to me! How pretty are these beads? And, Cass also sent this cute set of note cards. I love them! I actually collect note cards and journals, and these are a perfect addition to my collection - how thoughtful!I definitely have some great partners! Thanks again!

Here is The Plucky Knitter Lace Weight Yarn wound:
(I have to admit, I love winding skeins of yarn. How did I ever live without my swift and yarn winder?)

I realized the other night that I'm planning to swatch for the Forest Canopy Shoulder Shawl on Size 6 needles. Of course, I went straight to my set of Knit Picks Options. However, I soon remembered that my Size 6s are being used right now for Rusted Root. Not a problem, I thought. Maybe I could just swatch on Size 5s and see how that goes. Or, I could spend a little time today at my local LYSs and online, searching for the new Addi Turbo Lace Needles. I chose the latter, but to no avail. No one had a Size 6 in site. This is ok. It's actually a good thing. I mean, I was getting ready to spend money on a needle I pretty much already have. Granted, I really wanted to try the new Addis, but I don't need to. Besides, it sounds like the Knit Picks needles are sharper than the Addi Lace Needles anyway.

This is just more motivation to finish another WIP! (Soon!)