Musings Of Cpt J's Wife

It's Official

2009-11-12T18:52:00.002-05:00

Well, our trip was awesome and roo did great! There isn't a lot to do at the hotel, so we ventured to Fernandina Beach for a few hours, had a few cocktails and an amazing grouper (yes, real grouper) lunch. I never expected that the baby would do so well, not one meltdown.

So Cpt bought a motorcyle, a "crotch-rocket" if you will. It's to "save gas" since we live a good distance from the airport. Anyone else have this problem???

Taylor Swift? I mean give me a freakin' break.

The airline biz is going wonderful. Life is good. Quiet - just the way I like it.

Cpt J's wife is officially a SAHM

Sunday Blab

2009-10-25T11:28:00.003-04:00

Update: My wonderful hubby is taking us to Amelia Island. Renting an RV was ridiculous (rental, mileage and gas). So, thank you all for your great ideas. The Keys were a thought, but we have a friend with a timeshare that we can use once-a-year. Bahia is awesome, we have spent the day there. AI had a phenominal deal... pay for one night, get one night free. Couldn't have gotten luckier at the Plantation, and it's oceanfront. Yippee!

Our football team is sucking lemons.

Oh, KJ... have you checked out theknot.com? Best place for checklists.

Cpt J has Turkey Day off. Shit.

The roo is eating peaches and pears and I swear I see a tooth trying to come in. If he would only sleep through the night!

Cpt J's wife ate a package of shortbread cookies yesterday

Thanks Kotex

2009-10-21T15:35:00.004-04:00

My hair is falling out... in clumps. I am pretty disappointed about this as my hair has always kinda been "my thing." I have continued taking my prenatals, but... whatever. Hopefully this ends soon.

I have decided to join Cpt J on the no carb diet. I am proud to say that I only gained 13 pounds with roo and am back to my pre-pregnancy weight. I am not proud to announce that this is about 25 pounds more than I should be. I was so good with the whole gestational diabetes deal, I should be able to maintain. And no, I have not gone back to check and see if the diabetes are truly gone.

I feel like I have been having a period for like 6 months. MAXI PADS after birth, MAXI PADS after tubal, now MAXI PADS for my cycle as I cannot use tampons for 3 more weeks. Bollocks. By the way, the first time I used a tampon after having the baby - the jumbo, superduper absorbancy - was falling out. Hopefully this "area" shrinks back up.

Roo is holding his head up! Not for long periods of time, but long enough to almost flip himself out of my arms. Booger. We put him in his "sassy jumper" to see how he liked it. Besides just sort of hanging there, he seemed to enjoy it (or this is his terrified look)!

Cpt J's wife... 24.5 pounds to go

Camping

2009-10-17T14:35:00.002-04:00

Paranormal movie sucked.

Does anyone own a camper? Ever rented one? I hate tent camping. I need to have my creature comforts, so typically I am a 4-5 star hotel stayer. Now that I am unemployed and lost my hotel bennies, we are considering renting an RV and cruisin' for a week. We will obviously be taking the Roo and the beast and want to go somewhere we have never been. Florida Panhandle maybe?

Sorry for being such a priss, but I refuse to sleep on dirt, rocks or uneven ground. When it rains you can't touch the side of the tent, there is no heat or air, and you have to crawl out and hike sometimes a mile to pee. Shower with flip flops on? Yuck.

So, this is a huge occasion for me. I want to do it with as little complaining as possible and this seems like the way to go. I want the Roo to experience as much as possible, even though he will be too young to remember, at least there will be photos of our ONE camping adventure.

Cpt. J's wife really wants your thoughts and suggestions

I Have To Actually Apply

2009-10-14T15:48:00.002-04:00

So how is that that daft-dufus got a job that suited me perfectly? I mean, hello.. I trained her for God sake when she was my assistant. Did I do too good of a job? Who is she blowing? It has to be someone, because there had to be a zillion people apply for the job. Ok, so in all fairness - I didn't actually apply for the position. I didn't even know about it. I guess my networking skills need fine tuning. Guess I answered my own question, it just doesn't make it any easier to swallow (get it?).

Cpt J and I are going to check out http://paranormalmovie.com on Friday night date night. I am sure that I will never sleep again. I am one of those goobers that thought the Blair Witch Project was true. If you have seen it, let me know.

J has a line again next month as well as ground school. The big "Thanksgiving argument" will arise soon. His mom thinks we need to be at EVERY occasion now that roo is in the world. Uh, yep, no.

Cpt J's wife looking forward to the cooler weather coming

Where's The Fall?

2009-10-11T14:52:00.003-04:00

My little rooster is 12.2 pounds and 23" long. He has double in weight since he came in to the world, it's amazing.

Nothing much going on, just waiting for the COOLER weather to arrive in Central Florida. There was a heat index of over 100 the past week. It has kept me from putting out any Halloweenie decorations. I promised that once I had a child I would make an attempt to partake in various holidays. Halloween so far has been a failure. What's the point to have the crap out for just like a week? At least we got the little man's photos taken... that was a whole other adventure.

Cpt J's wife doesn't have time for selfish people

Still Coo Coo

2009-10-05T13:49:00.010-04:00

Having a baby must have really sucked the life out of my brain because for some STUPID reason I decided to try coming off of Lexapro. Well, let me tell you my friends, even at the smallest dosage it was like coming off of heroin (I imagine). I noticed it the first day. I got a severe headache, super dizzy, and by day two I was ready to choke the lady at the grocery store. Oddly enough, little Roo didn't phase me with his set of cranky pants that he decided to put on yesterday. I blame this on the three days of Nana time while I was "instructed" not to left anything heavy. That woman has SPOILED my baby.

If Cpt J says one more time, "honey, I think you are still suffering from some postpartum," I am going to show him who has postpartum. I always imagine postpartum as wanting to drown your child, isolating yourself from you child, etc.... Apparently, my PP is never brushing my golden locks, occasionally brushing my teeth, wearing deoderant when I remember and eating something off a plate with a knife and fork. Not to minimize PP, it really is a severe illness for some... I just think J has found a word he likes to say (insert a grown man going lalalalalala, you have PP, lalalalala). Hopefully he will lose that one from his vocabulary like he lost the word "dude."

Cpt J's wife needs a girls night out

It's Done

2009-10-01T20:38:00.003-04:00

Tubal ligation hurts worse than labor and delivery.

I opted for the old fashioned, knock me out, cut a hole in my stomach and clip-clamp, it's done. I wasn't terribly keen on the essure option, it takes to long to work and just made me nervous.

Therefore....

Cpt J's wife is in PAIN

No More BC - Ever!

2009-09-28T20:59:00.002-04:00

I went for my pre-op "stuff" today and I am a bit freaked out. I think that it is great that hospitals like to get the registration and what-not out of the way as to not waste time on surgery day, but now I have three days to think about everything.

I knew that I was only going to have one child. Before I even had Roo, I knew that one would be it for this girl. All of the physical things I have anticipated at my age are coming to fruition. Even though I don't breastfeed, my once perky boobies are starting to sag. I have lumps and bumps that I didn't have before and just don't seem to want to go away. I am tired. Like FATIGUED. When I am feeding the little stinker at 3:30 in the morning, I have glimpses into my past of closing the bars at that time and would keep drinking until the sun came up. Instead of listening to the gentle blowing of the ceiling fan, I hear little farts coming from the portable crib next to the bed that rumble like a motorboat. I look forward to doctors appointments because I shave my legs, put on deoderant and occasionally makeup.

Why I am in this negative mood you ask? Well, last night Cpt J was sitting watching TV, Roo in his vibrating chair and me attempting to keep my eyes open at 7:00 PM.... I mentioned that I was going to lay down. J then informed me that he would come and wake me up when the baby needed to be fed. Jerkosaidwhat? When I inquired about his laziness, he informed me that he had been at work and I was home all day. Kissmyassyousaidwhat? Eeeewww... not good.

So, as of Thursday I will never have the need for birth control again. That sex should be interesting....

Cpt J's wife is an only child too

Mommy Juice Time

2009-09-25T18:30:00.005-04:00

Ah, that time of the day to sit down with some mommy juice and catch up with the internet world. Actually, my only connection to adult communication outside of my family is via the computer. Pretty sad, but then I take a look a this face....J is gone for the weekend flying a charter. I decided not to invite heli-mom-nana over to prove I can survive two-and-a-half days alone. I have been ok for a day and a night, but at this time I am creeping up on night two. I walked the beast with roo in a Bjorn which was quite interesting picking up poop. I am sure my nosy neighbors think I am gross and getting poop too close to my child. Well, they should have been there at 2 AM when I went back to bed, after thoroughly washing my hands, and woke up with green poop under my fingernails from an early morning diaper change. Blech.

I have managed to toast an english muffin, drink three cups of cold coffee and a peach today. FINALLY, the bugger is napping so I can drink my drank and have some snack sticks dipped in rondele. God forbid I should attempt to cook something, he will surely wake just as it is prepared.

The coolest thing happened today - H laughed. Like really a hearty, giggle, little baby laugh. I was playing with his toes and he went silly. Lord, thank you for such an amazing gift when I needed it.

While I am happy to have the house to myself, I am feeling the bitter Betty that J is in another state, with the crew watching a football game and having a couple of cocktails. I wanted to rip his lungs out over the phone when he told me his plans, but instead I sucked it up and remembered that I get the privilege of bonding with my child, instead of the bartender.

This SAHM mom business is pretty tough, kudos to those of you with more than one young child at home. I can't imagine what your day must be like.

Cpt J's wife is ALWAYS sticky

Farts

2009-09-21T10:17:00.003-04:00

My son is a fart machine. It has to be the funniest thing I have seen in a long time when he is trying to poop, so funny in fact, we have started taping it. Poor guy, wait until his first girlfriend comes along.

I have permanent bags under my eyes and I am back to feeling like I smell all the time. Perhaps it is the once again change in hormones, but my deoderant isn't working and my new perfume of choice is a mix of formula and watered down fruit juice. Yes, I give my 7 week old watered down Mott's for Tot's fruit juice. And yes, I have even started putting a little cereal in his formula at night. For the record, it is not working. I heard an ugly rumor that putting cereal in his formula would give me an extra minute or two of sleep, yeah, no.

J has a line next month, woop woop! Again, I love my husband dearly, but this spending 24/7 together is just a breeding ground for fights. Like, nasty, ugly, I hate you, get out fights. Honestly, I know it makes him happier to fly than to be a househusband. So, yay J! He has also decided to forego an upgrade until the base and lines are guaranteed. No commuting for this family for a little longer. In case you wonder why I refer to him as Captain J, he was a captain for another airline when I started this blog. =)

Spending a few days with heli-mom-nana. I don't know how much more of this Florida heat I can take.

Cpt J's wife over-and-out

I'm Being Negative - Deal

2009-09-17T16:54:00.003-04:00

Life is changing. I am getting my mojo, or as some like to call it my "bitchiness" back. Not to complain or anything, but my life was flopped upside down in a matter of minutes and I am slowly figuring out my place in the world again.

J and I put off getting pregnant for 7.5 years of our marriage, 9 if you count from the first time we had sex. I abused my body for 21 years with birth control pills just so that I wouldn't bring a child in the world in order to get "prepared." I worked my way through my industry to get into management and make the big bucks, we bought a house, saved our pennies, PLANNED. J suffered through commuting, living in dumps and surviving off of credit cards so that I could stay in Florida to establish a future for us.

I found out I was pregnant in October only after a few months of trying. It was the best day of my life, and I was prepared to give this kid the world. Four months later, I lost my job. The next six months were spent staying at home and living on the minimums. Now, here we are. I have the most perfect little angel in the world. My husband has been amazing and I haven't had to live without much. I want more and I wonder why it is never enough.

We will get it all back. I am hell-bent and determined to fight my way back to the top. I will not sit back on my laurels and accept the position I am in.

Cpt J's wife needed to get it off her chest

Private

2009-09-06T10:57:00.002-04:00

I am going private as an experiment. I think that there might be someone who has infiltrated my blog that I prefer not to share with.

I hope you will continue to follow me =)

Randomony

2009-09-04T15:54:00.002-04:00

September schedule = reserve. So, while most pilot wives are thrilled with the guarantee pay and the hubby most likely home every day.... I am ready to pull out my hair. I love Cpt J, I do... but the kitchen is not big enough for the both of us. And, we have already started to establish handling baby duty and needs differently. He is amazing. Never complains when boo starts crying at all hours and the beast needs to go outside. Actually J never complains about anything, that's probably one of the reasons I love him so much. But, we are just different. We both want things done a certain way, and at least when one or the other is at work, the other doesn't know how it is getting done, just that it is done.

Going to the outlaws on Monday. J will just never understand why I can't warm up to the whole idea of being a big-'ole-happy-family. Seriously, opposites do not always attract. Anyway, football season is here and our HUGE game is Monday night. H will get to sport his new outfit, pics to follow.

I am really glad to see that the summer is coming to an end. I am still fat, so therefore I am still boiling... ALL THE TIME!

Cpt J's wife looks like a dork on Wii Fit

I'll Be Fine!!

2009-08-28T16:24:00.004-04:00

Cpt J is flying tonight. He has only flown once since pookie was born and that night the baby and I stayed with my mom. I am not afraid to be alone, I think that everyone else thinks I am afraid to be alone. It's amazing that at my age I can feel so inadequate and uneducated. Seriously, having a baby makes you feel retarded. When I do something right, it's like I beam and deserve a gold star - over something that is probably so simple. So, J has called from the road, called when he arrived at the airport and just called to let me know that they were getting ready to board up. Blech, we are fine. My mom will probably show up, "just stopping by," at any moment. Jinx.

J and I discussed his opportunity for upgrade. I have always known that he has reservations because he may or may not get this base. He needs that guarantee and I do understand that. He did the whole commute thing at the beginning of our marriage, and it contributed to near divorce on several occasions. Now, with the baby ... he's not taking any chances of missing a beat. While I don't blame him, the money would be PHENOMINAL!! I wouldn't have to go back to work right away... oh, the possibilities. Never, never, thought I would want to stay at home with my child. Man, the changes.

Since my shower, I have lost touch with several friends. Ok, do the math... the shower was like two months ago. These "friends" have fallen off the face of the earth and I am contributing it the "mommy club." I know I have blogged about this exclusive club before when I wasn't part of it. But, I have tried to maintain what bit of identity that I can the past four weeks, and it just hasn't worked. So, what do I say to those bitches? See ya, bye.

Cpt J's wife is getting back to her old self

Last Hoorah

2009-08-25T21:20:00.002-04:00

I am still alive - barely.

Cpt J and I went out last night for a few cocktails, I have several bruises, a blood spot on my left eye (probably from throwing up) and I think I drove the golf cart through some bushes. Check it out, I had two margaritas and two glasses of wine. WTF, I am a CHEAPO date. It is true, you aren't the same after you have a baby. And you know what? It is ok. My son was with his nanabanana, safe and sound... but I missed him and feel like I lost a couple of hours being an idiot.

I even asked J if we had sex because I didn't remember putting my pajamas on. I woke him up and told him that if I was pregnant I would kill him. We didn't, he wouldn't, but the fear of God was in me albeit a brief moment.

I am a mom now. And at 37... I finally learned what being responsible means.

Cpt J's wife won't do that again.

In Laws

2009-08-15T16:56:00.002-04:00

Finally, I am alone. Well, alone as I can possibly be with a newborn, a dog and a bird. Cpt J went to the beach for a visit with his sister who pops in once every 5 years or so. While this MAY sound insensitive, I am glad that he is there. His mom and dad came for a day that felt like a year, and his other sister has been at my house for the past three days with her son and girlfriend. HELLO PEOPLE, I have a newborn.. I haven't slept a full night in two weeks, LEAVE. My bowels have just started working somewhat normal again, I am no longer hobbling around on elephant feet and I can shove the JUMBO maxi pads to the back of the cabinet. I can't shake this headache for more reasons that worth repeating.

J will be going back to work next week. That is if he still knows how to fly. Kidding.

Cpt J's wife still trying to recover... and learn how to be a mom.

Episiotomy

2009-08-04T15:58:00.002-04:00

I will spare you all the details our "birth story" for now, as if I personally have to hear one more I may puke. However, I am very proud to share a brief overview.

Arrived at ghetto central at 8:00 PM on Thursday night to be induced. Seriously, the emergency room looked more like a drop off location for the western Orlando homeless and brothel. We were registered and walked ourselves up to the 3rd floor to start the "process." By 10:30 PM I had been tagged improperly and had a pill shoved up my cooter. I had to pee 10,000 times, so J and I had to figure out how to reapply the baby monitor to my tummy each time. If I had had to wait for a nurse I would have screamed, and I didn't want a catheter. By 4:00 AM, I had another nurse attempt a pill shove and failure occured. No sleep.

At 7:00 AM the dream team arrived. The blood work that was to be performed the night before happened, and the pitocin placed. My water was broken at 3:30 PM, I was in active labor by 4:30 PM, epidural placed at 5:30 PM, baby crowned while my doctor was on the turnpike in the rain, by 7:22 PM baby gorgeous entered the world. No sleep.

And so it begins. I am a parent to a perfect son. No seriously, he is perfect.. even though I am biased. But, I am done. Being pregnant sucks and labor and delivery is awful. It hurts, I am still bleeding and my feet are still swollen and I haven't pooped. Partially because I am terrified to bust a stitch from getting my cooter to butt slit open. But, I have an amazing new man in my life. I wouldn't give this opportunity up for anything. No sleep included.

Cpt J's wife is one lucky bitch

Jello Injection

2009-07-29T20:49:00.001-04:00

Induction tomorrow night, more to follow.

Trial Run

2009-07-27T09:04:00.003-04:00

I had my first false alarm on Friday. Yep, I packed up my bags, had my mom come over and put Cpt J on high alert as he was flying. I have been so lucky to have avoided major swelling or any complications during this pregnancy. Well, I woke up Friday morning with a swollen face, a headache and feet tripled in size - I could hardly walk. I diagnosed myself with preeclampsia and off I went.

Ok, so, like 5 hours later... nothing is wrong and I am not even dialated. Are you kidding? I am THRILLED nothing is wrong with the baby, but can you induce? I am already here, dressed down and hooked up, lets go folks. Nope. Three days later and here I sit, parked on the couch with swollen everything and diarrehea (sp?)... OBGYN just called to confirm my appointment for tomorrow. Bitches, I really am sick of seeing them every week.

Trying to coordinate labor and flying is really a gigantic pain. At least Cpt J is off for the next five days and helicopter mom decided to stay. We will all just continue to sit and stare at each other, bags by the door, ready to roll...

Cpt J's wife wants to meet her son.... NOW

Still Sitting

2009-07-22T13:14:00.002-04:00

Had an ultrasound yesterday. Unfortunately, can't believe I am saying this... I didn't have an exam because of a NASTY bladder infection. I have been taking antibiotics, but I guess they didn't want to take any additional chances shoving a hand up there.

The ultrasound did nothing for me. Sounds selfish, but I was hoping to see this little guy with his face pressed up against the screen, begging to come out. What I saw was a confusing little bag of bones with a perfectly round head. Oh, and the doc with no personality, thought it was SUPER cute to take a still shot of my little man's "jewels." GREAT news is, fluids all look great as well as the placenta. He is head down, ready to emerge, but still just hanging out. I would never have guessed as much as he kicks, punches and sticks what is apparently his butt up, in the air. I get this little lump above my belly button and it will just stick out for a few seconds. Yep, a butt shot.

So, here I sit. Cpt J wouldn't even let me roll up the outside hose. On a side note, my brilliant husband cut back some tree limbs and has tried planting them to see if they will take root. Um, what? Dude, so not going to work. Sometimes I wonder....

Today J kicked into SUPER amazing mode. He is off running some errands and by the time he returns he would like for me to have started working on packing my bag. What? Hello? Cutie.

I am so done. Just done.

Cpt J's wife butt has officially spread to the size of an over populated state.

Taunting Little Ticker

2009-07-17T12:56:00.002-04:00

I cannot wait to remove that annoying little "baby countdown ticker" staring at me over there on the right hand side of the screen. It looks at me, taunting me, "your still not there sweetheart!!!" I know I could easily remove it with a click of the button, but it has become like a badge of honor. I think it started at like 209 days or something insane like that when I first put it up. There is no way that I am giving into it now, not with 17 days to go.

I know that I am being totally impatient, that I still have this magic 17 day number to reach, but I don't know how much more I can take. I think I got my hopes up when I found out that I had GD that they would most likely want me to deliver early. Well, leave it to me to keep my sugar under control and actually lose weight. Can't do that when I am not pregnant, what's the deal man?? So, we go for an ultrasound on Tuesday to see what the little bugger is up to. I think he is just smart and isn't ready to venture out in to this 100+ degree weather -smarty.

Cpt J got his schedule for August, it rocks. For those of you rowing in the same boat, try to keep hubs from using FMLA. What a pain in the ass. J let company know a few weeks ago about my "condition," and they have been great (knock on wood) about working with him to use sick and PTO to avoid the mounds of paperwork and lack of actual income from FMLA. It works like short term disability... you get paid jack crap. Personally, I paid in to short term disability for years and would have only received a teeny-tiny portion of my salary. Works out, it is about as much as unemployment. Thank you to the State of Florida. Anyway...

J will be able to be home for at least a week and then works nights the duration of the month. Yippee!

Why does my cockatiel only jump off his perch when J is not home? Little nut case bit the bajeezus out of me scooping him back up. That damn bird sits on his shoulder ALL DAY long and never busts a move. As soon as I am alone and turn my back on him, he's on the floor... walking towards the beast who is ready to pluck him feather by feather. It's a conspiracy.

Cpt J's wife sitting and waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting

Three More Fridays 'Til Margaritas!

2009-07-13T15:32:00.002-04:00

I have never seen Cpt J panic... until yesterday. He is the calm one, the cool headed one, yeah right!

We were sitting watching a movie. Well, he was sitting. I have to get up, sit down, move one leg, move the other, rub my belly, rub my back - you get the picture. I will occasionally get these "electric shocks" if you will, on various parts of my front. Lately, the electric shock has been shooting down my pelvis, which I am convinced is a hand reaching out of my vajayjay. Anway, it usually goes away pretty quick, but yesterday it lingered. I sort of leaned forward, let my belly hang between my legs and just sort of panted. The look of terror on J's face was priceless. He jumped up, went outside to smoke, paced back and forth... he freaked.

Once he calmed down, we discussed that he needs to get it together. Like seriously, I am the one who can't handle stress and I will be a little too busy to keep him calm. I never thought I would see this side of him. He is sure he will be ok, but I am beginning to wonder. He calls from remote places in the country and asks me how I am feeling. Dude, I will never tell you the truth. I will spring it on you when you get home, or you receive a call from the hospital. You have become a basket case.

Weekly OB tomorrow, please give me some good news!!!!

Cpt J's wife has approximately three Fridays until she can have a margarita

Mish Mosh

2009-07-10T09:29:00.002-04:00

So, the OB didn't see my humor in "swallowing prey" comment. I thought it was a great description, but apparently I am just a maniac with too much time on my hands. They were also not intrigued by my "reverse morning sickness" theory either. I just have a child pressing on my organs and that is why I want to barf all the time.

Cpt J took me out on a date a couple of nights ago. The server was pregnant, the lady behind us had one of those kids that kept turning around in the booth to talk to us and is trying to have another and the check out lady at the grocery store is pregnant. Poor J, I felt compelled to apologize as he is surrounded by constant pregnancy. Anyway, I started sobbing before we left. I felt fat, had nothing to wear (whatever), and didn't want to embarrass him by waddling in to the restaurant. In true Cpt J form, he reassured me, found me something to wear and made me feel beautiful. We had a great time. He is also very excited about the fact that he can assist in "priming my vagina." Enough said, look that one up.

Thank you to our friends and family that have bought onesies for babes. But, can I please have one that says, "future doctor," "future lawyer," "future sports phenom." I don't want the munchkin to be a pilot. Unless he goes to Annapolis and becomes an officer and ... you see where I am going. My husband is brilliant, has a million dollar education, has the lives of 150+ people each flight in his hands, lives the dream (blech), but has just gotten over the poverty line in the past few years. He will be paying off student loans for the next 10,000 years and would still be a nomad if it weren't for me keeping put. Ok, I am not going to continue my tangent, you get the idea. So, please no more "future aviator" onesies.

Cpt J's wife has a sweaty ass - all the time!

Funnies

2009-07-03T10:17:00.002-04:00

A few funny moments the past few days:

I thought I was in labor (or hoping I was) while in the shower the other night. Honestly, showering is the only time I am naked, so these things may have been occuring and I am just now noticing. Anyway, I looked down between my boobs and watched my stomach as it rolled around in to this bizarre shape. The only way to describe it is like a snake swallowing her live prey. I screamed for Cpt J who was outside smoking - I waddled out, naked, banged on the slider and beckoned him to come inside. While like a lightening bolt he was there watching - calm as a cucumber (has anyone actually seen an upset cucumber?). So, it came and went. No baby, only Braxton Hicks.

We went for the car seat and stroller yesterday. yippee! My cousin's pram cost them 700 pounds - WTF? Our's was under $200, the whole shabang! Anyway, I picked up a diaper genie after returning something God awful that my MIL purchased, and out we went. Well, J crashed into a cart propped up against this cement barrier thing outside and busted his eyebrow on the corner of the box. He was in such a "nerve induced" hurry to get out of there and with the boxes in the way, he crashed... it was freakin' hilarious. Thank God for the pantyliner, I peed again.

Cpt J's wife wishing America a Happy Birthday