flow of consciousness

This time next week...

2009-12-18T16:13:00.003+13:00

...I will be in Bali. That's right folks, the Breheny Clan are doing their annual 'Let's meet up somewhere lovely' extravaganza. I am really looking forward to it and at the same time PANICKING about what needs to be sorted before I go.

I'm generally pretty cruisey when I travel. I'm not too worried about running out of clothes or forgetting anything other than my passport and credit card. But this time my Mum's coming back with me which means I need to sort the house out AND (more importantly) I also need to arrange for the cats to be fed. Generally not a prob, the flatties are very obliging but this is Xmas folks and the flattie is going to be away. Tricky. We will find a solution however. I just wish I hadn't left it to the week before to find it!

In other news, work is mental, I'm having a BBQ/party at my house this weekend for my birthday and I've got stuff on pretty much every night right up to Xmas. So perfectly set up for some gentle housework and catsitter arranging.

Gah.

Christmas

2009-12-14T18:06:00.003+13:00

Now I know it's an absolute stereotype to be totally unprepared for Xmas. But there you go. I'm a stereotype. I haven't done a freaking thing. This weekend looked like this:

Friday: Work, Xmas party, Jeff's gig, home at 2.00 am, big chats with Claire, bed at 3.00 am
Saturday: Eight hour improv workshop on 'being in the moment'. It was great. Really really cool but I'm not sure that I was able to give it 100%, what with the dehydration and lack of sleep. Went to Jeff's with Kez for DVD and Thai food. Home at midnight to call SPCA because there was a puppy in a truck outside my house that had been there when I left at 7.30. Sort that, bed by 1.00.
Sunday: Up at 8.00 for 16km run. Whip out to beach to hang out with Godson and his current legal guardians (or 'parents' as they like to refer to themselves). We go to the park, we visit the beach. I apply a nappy to a babies arse for the third time in my life (I'm getting really good - it was the right way round and everything) and it's back into town. Meet Loki, the most beautiful of Siberian Huskies (already a pretty attractive breed I think you'll agree). We go for an unexpectedly long walk. Or a short walk followed for a long search for where we parked the car depending on how you look at it. Home, dinner, bed.

What you will notice is nowhere in the above description is there any housework, shopping for xmas presents of wrangling with my garden to try to make it look anything other than the very worst garden in the street. And it's Xmas next week. Fark.

2010? Really? Are we sure?

2009-11-26T17:13:00.002+13:00

I remember being a kid and my grandparents saying, "This year has really flown" And thinking, "Bloody geriatrics, this week has gone on FOREVER" But really and truly, can it seriously nearly be December?

I've been in my current job for 18 months, I've been in my house for over a year, my cats are actaully eight and five not one and four as per the side pane on this blog.

Freaking crazy man.

I haven't finished my renovation stories and it's time to start putting up crimbo decorations. It's a world gone mad I tell you.

No more booze?

2009-10-23T10:44:00.003+13:00

This is what happened after the last post:

Monday night: Book launch, two vodka cocktails. It was at the 42 Below bar. Come on.
Tuesday night: Movie night courtesy of The Heritage Hotel Group, three glasses of bubbles. Then on to catch up with Antonia and pals in Cosh, glass of Pinot Noir.
Wednesday: Definitely taking this no booze thing seriously. No booze.
Thursday: Leaving drinks for a colleague. By some gargantuan effort manage to restrict myself to half a glass of Pinot Noir. Victory lap around the building completed. Go on to dinner with D&B. Decline wine. I am a pillar of self discipline and restraint. But then they weren't drinking either.
Today: A radio station is taking me to lunch. There will be an offer of booze. If the client (me) says no, they will feel they should say no. This seems like a churlish thing to do to your hosts on a Friday afternoon.

And then it's Labour weekend. Three whole nights where you don't have to get out of bed and go to work the next day. Gawd.

Can I do it?
Can I?

I'm not sure I want to to be fair.

Ah yes, the catch call of the alchie in denial.

Not that I'm an alchie. In denial.

I survived...just

2009-10-18T13:06:00.004+13:00

So it went ok. People laughed, no one died, no one got hurt.

And then I drank 250 litres of wine and smoked 25 cigarettes. Bad. Idea.

I just attempted a two hour run and couldn't even do half of that. I actually had an outer body experience. No more booze until after the half. That's the decision. Done and dusted.

Totally unproductive

2009-10-16T16:38:00.002+13:00

I'm rounding out a day of being totally unproductive by updating my blog for the second time.

I can't remember when I last felt this nervous about something. And why should I be nervous? It's a room full of people who are friends and family of the people who will be doing the improv thing. And if people don't laugh, so freakin what! Not a biggie. Just one of those things. No one will die, no one will get hurt, there will be charity laughter and then we can all go and get drunk. A win all round.

So why do I keep throwing up? Why can't I concentrate on anything else? Why are my hands clammy?

Clearly I have dengue fever.

It's the only possible explanation. I am very, very sick indeed. So sick that I should probably go home and hide under the duvet and remove any risk of infecting someone else with this horrible disease. It's the selfless thing to do.

Can't concentrate

2009-10-16T10:11:00.004+13:00

I'm going to write this to get it out of my system and get on with my day.

A few months ago I went to an improv comedy show and it reminded me how much I miss being involved with theatre. So I did an improv comedy course. And then I did a second one, which I'm half way through.

tonight we're having a sort of showcase. Where my fellow course mates and I will get up on stage in front of people we know and play improv games that we've previously only done in the safety of a local community centre with only ourselves to amuse.

Every time I think about it for even a second my stomach lurches. I'm throwing up regularly and have been for days. This may very well be one of the scariest things I'll ever do. And it's by choice, my decision, I've opted in.

Gawd.

Off for a vom.

A list of things I am looking forward to

2009-10-15T17:55:00.002+13:00

1. Running the half marathon
2. Belinda and Dinny's wedding
3. The briefing before Belinda and Dinny's wedding so I can practice my MC stuff (I'm REALLY looking forward to this one. Ahem. Cough.)
4. Going to Bali for Xmas
5. Going home next year to see my nephew
6. Summer
7. Dinner tonight
8. Owning garden furniture
9. Going diving again
10. Being able to drink properly again after the half marathon
11. Updating this blog more regularly.

Honest.

Closing the Loop

2009-10-12T15:40:00.002+13:00

It's been pointed out that I haven't finished off my Tales O Rennovation. Technically that's because I ahven't finished the renovation but I've come to a sort of an impasse.

(A) Because I've run out of money
(B) Because the little bits I've got left are too little to interest my builder.

So I have a deck but no steps down from it and I need to rip up a path to make it council compliant.

I had my first party at the house and depsite managing to dish out six bottles of spirits in cocktails, it remained reasonably intact. Sweet.The only casualty was the floor which is stiletto marked and scuffed, but that was always going to happen.

So in the next little while I will blog on some key points of renovation in retrospect.

Stay tuned.

INVINCIBLE

2009-10-11T10:42:00.002+13:00

Tell tale signs that you are going to have a doozy of a hangover:
1. You start and finish drinking while it's bright but with a dark bit in the middle
2. Your feet feel like they've been grated
3. Your mouth has almost certainly had something die in it
4. The final text you sent is misspelt, inappropriate and time stamped 3.54 am
5. You run out of fingers before you finish the list of the types of drinks you had
6. The word 'Jaegermeister' is on that list
7. You made a new best friend
8. You get home in time to chat to your flattie before she goes for her morning run
9. You send her to make you tea and toast but pass out before she gets back
10. You wake up two hours later fully dressed, and eat the toast because it might 'save you'

And it did, or something did, because I feel fine. Two hours sleep, eleven billion units of alcohol. Tip top, sparky, box o birds.

No more Tuna

2009-08-14T13:27:00.006+12:00

Last night I went home and there was the bones of a kitchen in the space that my builders had made for it. Imagine! Cupboards to put stuff in, benches for preparing stuff, holes for ovens and dishwashers and everything. Even room for a sink.

Today they were finishing it off (although it still needs proper benches and a splashback and a rangehood). I'll even be able to cook in it and everything.

And I'm not kidding when I say, not a day too soon. Today I looked at the can of tuna on my desk. Sitting expectantly, waiting to be opened and made into a tuna salad.

And I Just. Couldn't. Face it.

I've finally eaten as much as I can take of tuna salad.

I had hummus with salad instead.

Nearly...there

2009-08-11T19:53:00.004+12:00

I think this is almost the final week. Well at least for the major stuff. On Friday I will have a kitchen. It won't be a totally final kitchen but it will have one essential item... an oven.

No oven, no microwave, no hot food in my own home for four weeks. Mates have been amazing and I'm still not sick of tuna salads but I am so, totally, completely, utterly ready to be able to cook in my house again.

For that matter I'm ready to have cupboards and drawers to put stuff in and somewhere to plug in the kettle. And a bench to put it on. And a sink to wash the dishes in (there's somthing just so totally skanky about washing your dishes in the bathroom).

I'm also ready to have curtains in my bedroom, bookcases with books on them and a deck without old kitchen cabinetry and a toilet on it.

Little things.

Day 48 - As mentioned... it's the little things

2009-07-28T12:29:00.004+12:00

I don't think I'm a terribly unreasonable person. I can be a bit OCD about cleaning, I hate it when people say they're going to do something but don't and I have firm views on bigotry of all kinds. But generally I think I'm pretty cruisey.

But I have been amazed at four little things have driven my WILD with rage in the course of this renovation. Full credit to Charlie who's project managed the whole process and arranged for every single one to be fixed but it's hard to get over that feeling of pure anger. And they're really not ginormous things that will dramatically effect me or anyone I love in the long term.

1. The tap for the bath being at the foot of the bath when I wanted it on the side
2. The window in the front room being painted without removing the curtain rail
3. The drawer in the bathroom cabinet not being put in properly so it sticks a bit and is a bit lob sided
4. The wardrobe doors not being what I expected

When you consider he's pretty much got each of the 3,586 other things exactly right, that's not a long list. Nor is it a list of major things. But as mentioned... WILD with rage.

Day 43 - the innocence of youth

2009-07-23T15:55:00.003+12:00

I've just been rereading some posts and I notice that at the start of July I referred to my kitchen going in in around three weeks.

Hahahahahahahahahahaha.

Currently, my kitchen is due to go in in around three weeks. I popped back to the house last night to pick up the post and drop off some tiles and my kitchen is turquoise, my hall and bedrooms are polished and my bathroom floor is tiled. Next week there will be a small break in the floor sanding antics to allow me to move the entire house from the lounge and kitchen across to the three bedrooms and then it will resume.

Can't
Wait
For
It
To
Be
Done

And then (and only then) will the kitchen go in. When I mentioned to my builder that that's a couple of weeks later than I initially thought it would be he mentioned that kitchen guys are always late. So now I'm in a quandary. Do I let him know we're running behind or do I let him keep going and call him the day before he originally thought he'd be installing my kitchen?

So...much...news

2009-07-19T21:02:00.003+12:00

I have lots to update on but I have not the time to write it all now. Nor, I'm sure, have you the patience to read it. So I'm going to start at the very beginning and try to keep it pithy and see how far I get....

I Got A Heater
You have absolutely no idea how nice this is and what a difference it makes. I can't wait to have a house that isn't open all day letting all the lovely heat I've pumped into it out.

Literally life changing.

I Got A Flatmate
Some of you will have heard of Claire before. Well she's my flatmate again. This is very cool and means I have a person to wander around spotting house changes with in the evening. Although she's currently trekking around the North Island with her friend.

I Had My First Group of People Over
Ok so we had to uncover a sofa and carry it through to sit in the sun room and we ran out of glasses and we didn't really have enough chairs. But it was very cool having people over again. That's the only reason to own a house.

I Was Broken Into
Now this was weird. I got home last night at about 11.00 and was surprised that the lights were off in the house. I was sure I'd left the porch light on. But I toddled off to bed and it was only the next morning after an hour or so of mooching around that I noticed that my brand spanking new window that has been installed in the wall of the sun room, was no longer in the wall of the sunroom but was in fact sitting neatly on my deck, leaning up against the wall of my sunroom. It wasn't smashed or visibly damaged and my first instinct was that one of the tradepeople had taken it out and forgotten to put it back in. This was not the case.

To make a long blog short as possible, the current theory is that they specifically targeted me because my house is clearly a building site, with 'Danger construction underway' signs and a skip the size of Texas in my front garden. The reason we concluded this is because my laptop, camera and ipod were all untouched. And they really did a very neat job of removing the window. Suggesting taht it was a builder/burglar looking for builders' tools. All they did steal in the end was a couple of beers, some wine, a tub of ice cream, some veggie gyoza and some tinned pulses.

Weird.

I Am Staying With A Friend While My Floors get Polished.
Antonia is having me to stay while my floors get sanded and polished. Thanks Lady! The cats have gone into a cattery for the first time in their lives. Sad. But my floors are gettign polished. Hurray.

It's the little things...

2009-07-14T22:11:00.003+12:00

So it won't come as a surprise that I'm saying this but... it's a roller coaster. One day you're high as a kite. It's possible that's the paint fumes, but just generally there are certain days that feel... fun. Then other days you just want to have enough money so you can stay in a hotel for a couple of nights. Just so you have somewhere to hang out that isn't your bedroom. Just so you can shower properly. Just so you can get dressed without having to visit three rooms to get your clothes and another to get into them without flashing the neighbours.

And that's exactly it. It's the Little things that wear you down. The tiny particles of dust, the mucky paw print on your last tea towel, having to reset your alarm clock every single day because the power was switched off at some point for some reason or another, having to shower in the dark because there's only a sheer curtain up in the bathroom.

But on the other hand it's the little steps that get you all excited. My bathroom has plaster board on the walls today and that dappled glass stuff that bathrooms should have. My new shower isn't installed but is at least now in the house, as opposed to in storage in my neighbour's garage (thanks Norman!), there is a curtain nailed up over my bedroom window and I finally have a gas heater connected to the gas mains. It's been running for four hours now and it's lifted the temperature of my house from 11 degrees when I got home to a balmy 18 degrees. No mean feat. And I'm not being sarcastic when I say that feels balmy. I'm LOVING it.

Today is a good day.

Day 31 - FINALLY

2009-07-10T15:29:00.002+12:00

I currently have:

Resource consent
Gas piped in form the street
Two fully painted bedrooms
A cat flap
A bora free attic
A new found tolerance for dust

I currently don't have:

A toilet door
A shower
A bathroom door
Bedroom doors that shut
Windows that open

Day 29 of renovations- detox on hold

2009-07-08T12:35:00.002+12:00

Now I know what you're thinking- she ditched detox because she couldn't go on without booze. Well you're wrong wrong wrong. It turns out that what I can't go on without is a kitchen. I have no oven, my cutlery drawer and sink is behind a pile of gib board and there is no bench space accessible. This makes it tricky to prepare even steamed veg and fish. I don't even own a microwave. I'd imagine there will be a number of salads prepared on the coffee table in the coming weeks but the depths of winter is not really primo salad season, so let's be honest it's going to be takeaways most of the time.

So detox is out the window until the new kitchen goes in - in about three weeks. Eep.

However today when I left there was an electrician, a plumber, two painters, two plasterers and three builders in my house. I'd imagine the house will look quite different when I get home tonight.

Probably the other big lack is the cat flap. Currently their isn't one. Pinot is a reasonably quirky cat at the best of times which was why it took me a while to realise that her frantic dashing around the house this morning was not just her being a loony. She needed out. Urgently. Luckily I figured it out in time.

Insulation went into the roof last night- such a huge difference!

10 Things I Have Learnt So Far While Renovating

2009-07-05T11:16:00.005+12:00

1. Dust won't kill you. But if you endeavour to remove it from every surface every day, it might make you kill yourself.
2. Your neighbours, who seem lovely on the face of it, are sneaky conniving bastards who will chuck stuff in your skip in the dead of night.
3. Stuff being chucked in your skip in the dead of night makes a BIG NOISE and will scare the shite out of you the first hundred or so times.
4. People who have used builders will not believe you when you tell them how great your builder is. This is because they have been endlessly ripped off by trades people and refuse to believe that anyone could have had a different experience.
5. People love to take what you consider flash and exciting and shit all over it. "A good, basic kitchen" (that you've just spent the equivalent of six month's salary on) or "Huh, green paint. I see" or referring to the whole job as "Your little renovation"
6. These people are wankers and should be punched in the goolies forthwith.
7. It is impossible to just tear off a little bit of wallpaper. That shit is instantly addictive.
8. You can live without about 90% of the shit you have in your house.
9. The 10% you can't live without will be packed in an unlabelled box and is probably under a teetering pile of the other 90%.
10. Everything will take longer than you expect... except your money running out.

Day 22 of the renovations, Day five of Detox - Reality Bites

2009-07-01T11:21:00.002+12:00

Ok ok ok I know, all renovations go over budget. But do you know what's really frustrating? Mine's not going over budget because of some shonky builder or dodgy contractor. It's not even because when they ripped something out they discovered unexpected or unbudgeted for rot, leaks or any other issues.

It's all my fault. You see I want nice things but what I didn't do is add up all of the nice things to a total to see how much all of the nice things were going to cost me. Outcome = currently I'm $20k short on the expected total spend. $20k!! Oopsie.

Fuck detox, I could go on hunger strike and still not make up that shortfall. so when I went to my dentist today (I bit down on an alleged 'pitted' olive to find out that it had been falsely advertised) and he told me I needed to spend $1500 on a crown, I didn't even blink. Well actually I did blink and then said. "That's a freakin' dishwasher!!!". I'm not sure that made a lot of sense to Roger but he's an amiable sort and he took it in his stride. The point is, that in the scheme of things $1500 doesn't make a huge difference either way. I'm financially screwed.

Want to hear the best part? Because it's a very little tooth, he wants me to get a gold cap because they're stronger! A gold cap!!! Told you i always end up withe the fanciest option in the room.

At least I can develop my gansta rappa career and hopefully recoup some renovation costs.

Day 18 of the renovation. Day 1 of detox.

2009-06-27T18:32:00.003+12:00

That's right. You heard me. I'm on detox. But I got here with a bang. I had a Final Night On Booze. Phew. Cigs, karaoke, multiple taxis, an abandoned car, wine wine wine.

So today I woke up nice and hungover to remind myself why I'm doing this. It sucks being in a dirty, cluttered, freezing house while hungover.

And I need to pay for it to be clean, uncluttered, insulated and heated.

I can see my breath (which probably smells like a badger's arse) and am wearing everything I own. I've drunk two litres of water today. Haven't peed once. MY life is one of pure glamour.

Day 17 - Yes. I know that.

2009-06-26T09:05:00.004+12:00

Ok so maybe, just maybe, I am pandering for a little sympathy. Perhaps I have mentioned to people that I'm a little cold. I may have pointed out that it's a new level of HARD to make it to work (a) fully dressed and (b) not covered in dust. It is possible that I have highlighted that as a slight clean freak, it's a little stressful living in a house where everything is always filthy and one whole room is literally piled to the four metre high rafters with stuff. Potentially I've been banging on that it's tricky to maintain a normal life when your shower floods every morning, your roof is leaking, you have to visit every room in the house to pull together an outfit and you're not sure what room you'll be sleeping in tonight...

But yes. I realise:

"It will be great when it's finished"
"It's much better to do it all in one go"
"It will be so much warmer next winter"

That's why I'm doing it. You don't need to say that. What you should say is: "Lorraine. You are amazing. I could never in a million years do what you are doing. Because I live a life of luxury in my house that isn't being renovated. You are incredibly strong and possibly the bravest person I've ever met. Let me buy you dinner."

Day 16 - new lows

2009-06-25T21:40:00.003+12:00

My third clothes rail collapsed today. This should probably indicate that I have more clothes than I need. But strangely I don't feel that way. Since I will actually have a wardrobe in a few weeks, I can't possible justify buying a new clothes rail. So my clothes are currently hanging on a telescopic painting pole that's suspended across my lounge window. Which faces the street. I'm officially white trash.

The house continues to be all kinds of freezing and everything everything everything has dust on it. Cooking, brushing your teeth and wearing anything black are more complicated than you could possibly imagine. I've also had to move all of my stuff from my bedroom to the lounge and in the process misplaced my watch. This. Is. Driving. Me. Crazy.

Other essential items I have 'safely packed away', absolutely can not find and now urgently need:

Clean towels
The vacuum cleaner
Books
Tea towels
Spare bath mats
Laundry baskets

In other, non-renovations related news, I attended a conference today entitled "The Future of the Book". Initially fascinating, often confusing and towards the end downright boring stuff. One guy literally cleared the room with his meanderings. But some interesting stuff on digital technology and how 'books' (and by that I mean text and images not necessarily paper in bindings) will be formatted and consumed in the future. And in some cases the really really near future.

But if I'm honest I really just wanted to pop home and check on the renovations!

Day 15 - demolition versus building

2009-06-24T09:26:00.003+12:00

I got home quite late last night and the renovations had moved on HEAPS. When I spoke to my builder about it he pointed out that it had moved on even more the day before but then putting up walls and fences is always going to look more impressive than ripping them out.

I've got my 'novelty buzz' back on and it's making it exciting again. I also did a Very Brave Thing and actually made a spreadsheet of what I think the additional costs are going to be outside of his quote. He's also doing this. I had a look and I think I might just squeak through on budget. Just. And that's a revised budget to be fair. And only because my builder is a super hero and has got me cash work wherever possible, pitched tradesmen against each other to get them to undercut the competition and talked me out of some very expensive options. There will be no horizontal stripes in the hall for example. But I can always do that later.

And speaking of getting stuck in, that's exactly what Pinot had done to the sheets of foam insulation left by the builder.

I think Pinot has an eating disorder. She used to be a big binge and purger but that's stopped since we moved to the new house and her latest thing is eating packing foam. You know the stuff that cradles appliances in their boxes or fits under your floor to stop your tootsies from getting cold. That stuff. and when you move house, buy new things and are getting underfloor insulation there's plenty of it around. I think it fills her up so she doesn't have to eat cat food. Yuck. Anyway there was a whole sheet (about two metres by one metre and five cm thick) that she's pretty much shredded creating a snowstorm in the laundry and a full little tummy of toxins for her. Mentalist.

I'll try to get some photos on Facebook of the advances tonight but I have to also pack up my room. I'm going to be sleeping in the lounge for a few nights. Bye bye electric blanket. This is going to be tough.

Day 14 - not according to plan

2009-06-23T09:06:00.002+12:00

Things are slowly coming to a grinding halt. This is bad.

Basically the two things I've been glibly joking about (the resource consent not being through and Vector being morons) is completely holding up the job.

At the end of this week it will have been six weeks since we submitted the resource consent but since the person looking after it was off sick last week and apparently it needs to go to some committee it's not only not signed off, it's looking like another couple of weeks before it's even likely to have an outcome. That outcome might be 'you can't have a deck or bifolds or change the back of your house in any way'. This would be tricky.

Meanwhile the person I spoke to in Vector when I decided to go ahead with bringing gas in from the street gave me a whole heap of absolute lies about what I needed to do next. This meant that my request wasn't progressed at all for a further two weeks.

Have I mentioned just how cold it is in my house at the moment? My builder says he doesn't know how I'm doing it. My builder. Who shows up to work in shorts and a hoodie when it's five degrees outside.

I will look back on this. I will laugh. It will all have been worthwhile.

Remind me of that.