Mommy Plays Bass

Quote of the Month

2008-10-04T17:51:00.000-07:00

We were watching Daddy wash his car in the driveway the other day. We watched him soap it up with a brush. Then we watched him rinse off the car. Finally, we watched as the car dripped dry, a steady trickle from the undercarriage. Suddenly, Nelumbo Jr. got concerned.

"Oh no, car go pee-pee!" she said.

Hello from Nebraska

2008-06-02T19:51:00.000-07:00

I'm in the happening place of Lincoln, Nebraska. Grading AP exams all day. I know it sounds lame, but 1) I'm meeting some interesting people 2) At 5 o'clock I actually have time to myself for once 3) FREE FOOD (and it's actually decent) 4) my stipend should pay for my massive garden project plus help out with fixing our pool. I can't wait to enjoy my own backyard soon.

I should have listened...

2008-05-27T19:04:00.000-07:00

Someone once said it's not polite to talk about religion, sex, and politics. What do you think? Here's two situations to consider:

Situation one- I made a comment in the presence of my boss that could be interpreted as negative towards baptists. Fifteen minutes later I find out he's a baptist.

Situation two- I recently ran into an old friend of mine while out with my husband. The conversation turned to Barak. Whoa did sparks fly. Within five minutes I was really offended by how my friend stereotyped my husband as some kind of rich jerk that watches babies starve to death for fun since he votes republican. Then of course I was offended when my husband later stereotyped my friend (in private) as being an ignorant granola-crunching idiot that had no understanding of how the economy works. I don't mind a spirited political debate, but they both just took it too personally.

Further evidence - Discussing sex is part of the job teaching biology, and 18-yr-olds can't even discuss fungi reproduction without snickering. I guess it does get their attention, though!

Vasoline-coated toddler

2008-05-06T18:08:00.000-07:00

Nelumbo Jr. must have decided that she needed a hair product. While she was supposed to be napping today, she smeared petroleum jelly all over her hair and shirt. I saw pictures taken before her emergency mid-day bath, and I was horrified and amused at the same time. Luckily, it is not majorly toxic so if she tried tasting it, it'll be OK.

I can smell the end of the semester

2008-04-21T19:18:00.000-07:00

It smells like 102 empty cans of soda I have collected in my office in the name of recycling, plus the essence of the couple half-rotten gladware containers from lunches at my desk. When it comes to priorities at work it's always 1)getting ready for class the next day 2) sneaking out early so I can spend time with my daughter 3)grading 4) straightening the office. Mostly I cycle from 1-2-1, and 3 comes in to factor occasionally when the students whine too much about getting back their papers. But I get to leave this routine behind in a couple short weeks!

I'm starting to really look forward to spending the summer with Nelumbo Jr. She said "hi Mom" into the phone for the first time today. So cute! I'm also a little nervous because I swear the terrible twos have started early. She is very sweet until you do something mean, like try to prevent her from cutting herself up with an aluminum can, and it's all over. My only consolation is that my mom says I started the terrible twos early, too, but I was done by the time I turned two. Let's hope that family trait continues!

Minty Fresh Sheets

2008-04-06T18:50:00.000-07:00

A tube of toothpaste somehow got mixed up in the sheets while we were "camping out" in my grandparent's driveway this weekend. (We were there for my cousin's wedding, which was on the beach and beautiful!) Anyway, the tube of toothpaste exploded all over our sheets and formed a minty, sticky layer on the inside of the dryer. So I just finished scrubbing out the dryer and rewashing the sheets. Will all our clothes smell like a breath mint now? We shall find out.

She walks!

2008-04-01T19:20:00.000-07:00

It only took 17 and a half months. I think my daughter is going to share my "learning disability" when it comes to coordination. The only sport I ever did well at was running, since that only requires putting one foot in front of the other. Back in middle school, I think gym class and art class ruined my gradepoint average. And somehow I managed to fall out of the bleachers while watching a volleyball game. True story!

In grad school I walked around bruised and scraped up during the whole semester of wind-surfing class. Then I tried iceskating, which ended up being my lowest grade in grad school, tied with Eukaryotic Molecular Genetics. I don't know which was more painful.

So I'm not all that surprised that it took my daughter a little longer to walk than the average child. And I'm not surprised that the daughter of the basketball coach was running around at 9 months. I swear it's all in the genes.

Zen of the Rat Ripping

2008-03-12T20:13:00.000-07:00

I remember Dr. P grabbing ahold of a pigeon and cracking open the rib cage. I was in awe. My lab partner and I were gently probing it with our dissection needle. The idea of touching it seemed crazy.

Yesterday I found myself cracking open the rib cage of a rat. It didn't seem crazy to me, but one of my students seemed to be shocked that I'd touch the thing.

Isn't it strange how you just become habituated to things? If you do something long enough, it becomes natural to you.

Almost to the finish line

2008-02-27T19:43:00.000-08:00

I've been writing constantly for this biology textbook freelance gig for the last week, plus doing my regular teaching and motherhood thing. I think I've bitten off a little more than I can chew. We're talking shoving a whole freakin 1 lb hamburger in my mouth. Metaphorically speaking. I'm so ready for spring break! We're headed to New Orleans!

Google reads my mind

2008-02-05T11:37:00.000-08:00

The spell check often fails me, but I can type in about anything and google will say "did you mean..." and gently prompt me to the correct links. How do they do it?

The silver lining

2008-01-25T19:13:00.000-08:00

My belated New Year's resolution is to complain less and contemplate the positive more. So in this exercise I will attempt to find the positives of a few key events I'd rather complain about.

the complaint: I dumped chocolate carnation instant breakfast in my car this week.
the positive: My sunglasses taste like chocolate now.

the complaint: My husband has had a lot of late night emergencies with work this week.
the positive: I don't have to watch Fox news!

the complaint: Our 16-month old isn't walking yet.
the positive: Sewing knee patches on the worn-out knees on her pants updates her wardrobe inexpensively.

the complaint: I have huge feet and so I can't find a decent pair of metallic pumps.
the positive: Because the selection is so small, I can afford to buy pretty much every cute pair of shoes in my size on zappos.

Hoping for a "snow day"

2008-01-16T18:16:00.001-08:00

Watching the winter storm warnings is making nostalgic for my childhood in the Midwest. I remember many nights going to bed hoping that the next day we wouldn't have to go to school. We would be thrilled when the phone would ring the next morning at 6 AM. (My parents were both teachers and therefore on the phone chain.)

But we had to patiently wait for morning to find out our fate. We couldn't monitor the school closings at 2 AM on the Internet! And I definitely didn't have a cell phone that I could obsess about keeping charged or enrolling correctly in the "emergency text" program through the college.

Thank goodness I have the technology to allow me to waste more time.

Appreciating the small things

2008-01-13T18:39:00.000-08:00

It's weird, in a good way, how different things are from a year ago, when I was going back to work with a newborn at home. I'm caught up with all my shows on the TiVo. I actually woke up BEFORE my alarm a couple mornings last week. Breakfast is no longer a protein bar and a diet coke in the car; it feels like a luxury to have a bowl of cereal in the morning. I read an entire book last week. That felt downright deconent. I even strummed my bass guitar a little tonight. I don't exactly have an excess of time to spare, but at least I have some time to myself now.

Impulse Resolutions

2008-01-01T18:37:00.000-08:00

I wonder how many other people, like me, signed up for te 5K in Greenville on New Year's Eve? Well at least unlike the other times I've impulsively signed up for 5K races, I've actually been running recently. I can run about 2 miles now. So maybe I will make the 3.1 miles in 25 days?

New Years Eve I went to the gym, and of course it's packed with everyone starting their resolutions early. I bet it's packed tomorrow when I go, too. I feel so unoriginal.

I guess if I want to be original then I'd resolve to eat chocolate every day. And spend too much money on shoes. And collect at least a 3-foot-high stack of unfiled papers in my office. (And another 3-foot pile in my home office.) Hey, well at least they'd be resolutions I could keep.

You talking to me?

2007-12-27T20:04:00.000-08:00

It seems like our pre-toddler's suddenly taking this talking thing seriously. She babbles constantly, in a strange dialect that I don't recognize, and occasionally throws out a few recognizable words now and again.

Her first word - "Cat" - uttered constantly as she chases the cats around the house.

Her favorite word - "NO!" - of course.

Paradox

2007-12-16T19:48:00.000-08:00

Why does my baby put everything she finds on the floor in her mouth, but when in the high chair it's a battle to get her to try new things?

Due to my ADD, my dog ate my jump drive. Please give me a C.

2007-12-12T18:50:00.000-08:00

I just turned in my grades. (Imagine a big sigh of relief here.)

I'm considering putting my work e-mail on vacation setting to avoid the student e-mails I always get this time of year. Some of my students must think I teach a creative writing class judging by their efforts at persuasive writing. Mostly the e-mails fall in two veins 1) Ask me to "give" them a certain grade, telling you how a "B" will allow them to keep their scholarship or how they won't graduate without a "C". 2) Entertain me with creative excuses on why they didn't complete an assignment due to technical problems, family problems, or learning disabilities that only now they decided to tell me about.

Anyway, my baby girl is asleep right now but I'm looking forward to having more time with her in the next few weeks!

Yo yo, Ma

2007-11-11T03:18:00.000-08:00

I flew to Ann Arbor, MI this weeked to visit some college friends and see Yo-Yo Ma in concert. It was fantastic. (Both seeing my friends and attending the concert.)

Highlights of the concert: He played mostly more obscure pieces, but he did play "The Swan" in the third encore. That's one I have actually worked on before, so that was cool. Having played cello, I was wowed with how technically difficult some sections of the pieces were, even though he made it seem effortless. But it didn't really inspire me to take up the cello again. I do miss playing bass. I guess I've moved on and gotten over the cello.

Highlights of hanging out with the college buddies: One of my friends has jumped on the baby train! She's due the beginning of June. My other friend just got a great new post-doc position and is working on her teaching degree. So much for growing apart, we seem to be getting even more in common as the the years go by. A good thing!

Why I shouldn't tell people I teach biology

2007-10-25T09:38:00.000-07:00

She asks me if she's sick
"Could it be the mumps?
I think my thyroid is inflamed.
Do you want to feel the lump?"

I am not a doctor.
I don't play one on TV.
I do not wear a white coat.
Botany is my degree.

My doctor explains my symptoms
in strange terms I once crammed.
I only liked plant physiology;
human anatomy be dammed.

I am not a doctor.
I don't play one on TV.
I do not wear a white coat.
Botany is my degree.

Injured in the line of duty

2007-09-28T12:11:00.000-07:00

Yesterday while trying to show my students the seed pod of the Mimosa tree, I stepped in an ant hill without realizing it. A minute later, while crossing the street back towards campus, I felt something bite me, then noticed small ants swarming all over my khaki pants.

Playing it cool, I frantically swatted them off me. Then I realized I was standing in the middle of the road. So I crossed the street and then continued to try to get the ants off of me.

Today I have several big itchy, stingy welts on my ankles. Those suckers really got me.

Environment Rant

2007-09-06T20:22:00.000-07:00

As global warming melts away the Artic, several countries are scrambling to lay claim to the land there. Why? So we can drill for even more oil, allowing us to burn even more fossil fuels, putting even more carbon dioxide into the environment, causing even more global warming. Hey why not thaw out the rest of the Artic while we're at it.

The irony is so painful.

OK Santa, you might need to invest in a yacht. And some motorized sleds since I don't think the reindeer will make it into the next century.

Babies 'R' Us Parking Lot: the male perspective

2007-09-03T18:44:00.000-07:00

I was getting kind of sentimental during a recent visit to Babies 'R' Us. In the last year I've spent many hours in that store. At first it was the many happy hours wandering the store preparing and dreaming for the baby to come. Then later I spent many frantic minutes grasping for essential items and hoping I could get through the check out before my newborn went crazy.

It's hard to believe that now we are looking for toddler-transition items such as shoes and a front-facing car seat. Our recent trip could be one of our last!

Before I could get all nosgistalic and teary-eyed, however, my husband supplied enough crude banter to reset the tone of our visit.

Things that should not be said in a Babies 'R' Us Parking Lot:

"The MLFs are out in force today"
" Are you enjoying checking out the pregant ladies?"
"Well at least you know they put out."

That'll be $4.39, please

2007-08-27T18:07:00.000-07:00

When I was taking psychology 101, I remember this study where they gave children all kinds of art supplies and let them draw. Then in one group, children were awarded stickers and prizes for every painting. In the control group, the children didn't get any prizes. After a while, the children who got rewarded actually drew less and seemed less interested in drawing.

I think this is where I am at with my writing now. I was lucky enough to get a couple of paid assignments lately. Although the check is in the mail and not in my hand yet, I already feel a change of attitude already.

Let's see. That's about 10 words. How much is that worth? A dollar, at ten cents a word? OK you owe me a dollar.

See, this post is a bit of procrastination. I have two more assignments I could be working on, more query letters I could write, but I'm having trouble just writing a short blog post. When you're being paid to write, why does there seem to be more pressure and less fun involved?

I think I earned too many stickers!

This concept could also be applied to teaching. Sometimes the model students, the ones that want to earn 100% on everything, really annoy me. Sometimes I prefer the students that really don't give a $@*#* about grades but ask good questions. And the "lazy" ones that don't take notes but at least act interested and still pay attention to what's happening because they're truly interested, not because it's going to be on the exam. And of course you have to love the ones that are polite enough to laugh at my jokes because they are just nice people, not because they're brown nosing. Well that might be foolish to think there's anyone in that last category ;)

Have we messed up education by giving away gold stars and A+'s ?

If we were communists and just working for the common good, not for the dollar, would we really be as motivated to do our jobs?

Hmmm...the dollar can be motivating. Time to tap into my inner capitalist and get cracking on those projects. I have dollars to earn and shoes to buy....

"Don't eat your fortune!"

2007-08-01T20:54:00.000-07:00

When we went out for Chinese this week, my husband took big bite out of his fortune cookie without breaking it open first. Luckily I noticed before swallowed his fortune. Last time we went for Chinese, I didn't catch him in time. I got distracted by my own fortune cookie, and when I asked him what his fortune was, he responded, "Oh, I must have ate it." As if this was nothing out of the ordinary.

I'm glad he has never been to an old-fashioned Marty Gras. He'd eat baby Jesus.

He just has trouble remembering that sometimes there are inedible things inside food. Besides ingesting at least 3 fortunes in the last year, he also once forgot there were pits in cherries. That had to hurt. He thought fresh cherries should come pitted, like the kind on sundaes.

I better warn him before he tries those peaches in the fridge...

Off to Grandmother's house we go...

2007-07-21T23:20:00.000-07:00

In just three days my parents are moving into their new house! Well at least their stuff is. Once the building inspectors approve everything, they'll be living down the street about 5 miles away.

I guess our baby has a face that will launch at least one ship to sail!