Culture kills... wait, I mean cutlery

Week 28: Pageant of the Transmundane

2009-11-21T11:33:00.003-05:00

A person in a chicken suit showed up at a Durango, Colorado City Council meeting during a period when they were discussing changes to the city ordinances on the keeping of live chickens on residential property. And this person made quite a spectacle of themselves. No news on if this was Crackers the Corporate Crime Chicken in disguise (because we all know that there was no way Michael Moore was getting in a chicken suit).

Anyway, this week's winning entry comes to us from The Girl Gamer.

Christina discovered a Youtube animation which combined the Mushroom Kingdom with the world of Quentin Tarantino. It isn't a mashup... more a reimagining of Mario's trip through the surreal world he found himself in back in 1985.

And because this week's winning entry is Pulp Fiction related, I thought a picture of Homer Simpson in a black suit from his time as the Mayor's bodyguard would be the most appropriate, non-Mario related image. I also thought about paying homage to Bruce Willis in that movie by choosing a picture of Homer during his boxing career, but somehow I think the suits are more iconic.

Congrats Christina. Here is your web badge.

The rules of this little contest: Every week I will be selecting one blog post that I have seen from the vast reaches of the blogging village to bestow with the Homer Simpson Transmundanity Award for being one of the freakiest(in a funny way) things I've seen or read during a 7 day period. It doesn't necessarily have to have been written during the week, I just had to have encountered it. That means that if you find something interesting and repost it like a movie or whatever, if I saw it at your blog first, you get the prize. Of course, creating your own content is also a very good way to win.

Now, if you see a post that you think is worthy of this illustrious prize, just drop me a line at campybeaver@gmail.com and we'll see if we can't get your suggestion up and award-ready while giving you some credit and a link to your own blog.

Friday Favorite: Remembering some good ole 1980's Schlock!

2009-11-20T14:38:00.002-05:00

As I wrote in the introductory passage of this entry, I wrote this the day Snakes on a Plane was released theatrically, and I've been once again revisiting the Schlock of my youth, and this entry captures a lot of those movies in one place.

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With it being Snakes on a Plane Friday, I got a little wistful and began thinking about some of the wonderfully cheesy 1980's horror movies I saw as a kid, and I thought I would share a few of them with you.

Now I could mention movies like Tremors and Return of the Living Dead, but where would the fun be in that?

The first movie that I thought of when I started on this little odyssey to the era or Reagan was 1986's Night of the Creeps. Now, the recent Slither took a lot from this movie, but accept no substitutes. I mean, it has all the requisite elements for an 80's horror movie. College kids-Check, aliens-Check, Zombies-Check, a Serial Killer-Check, and yes, a sense of campy humor-Double check. The basic plot involves worm-like creatures that eat people's brains from the inside and it is all good, gory fun from there, and if you love the attitude of Bruce Campbell's Ash, you will really enjoy Tom Atkins take on the burnt-out cop Ray Cameron. (And did I mention that every main character in the movie is named after a horror director). Editorial Update: Night of the Creeps was recently released on DVD.

Now I could try to describe 1985's The Stuff to you, but I think the New York Times does it better than I ever could. I would describe it as 1 part The Blob, one part The Thing and one heaping spoonful of social satire. All in all, it is a frothy and sweet good time, and you will never look at Cool Whip the same again.

And I would be remiss if I didn't mention C.H.U.D., after all, you can't talk about the schlock without it, because C.H.U.D. is a glorious return to the B-movies of the 1950's. There is radiation in them there sewers and where you got radiation, you got blood-thirsty mutants, and of course, mutants got to feed above ground, and in this case, they have a choice buffet that includes Daniel Stern, John Heard, John Goodman, Jay Thomas and Kim Greist. It isn't a great film(though it is award winning), but it delivers some good jolts for bucks. The IMDB has it rated at 4.5/10, but it is better than that.

Of course, I am sure you, my readers, have a few more suggestions that could satiate someone's appetite for some cheap and messy thrills this weekend, so I open the floor to you all.

So, if you don't want to bear witness to the Rocky Horror Picture Show with snakes tonight or this weekend, you can still get your B Horror flick fix this weekend at your local video store or even perhaps from your On-Demand cable system. I am not guaranteeing you will like these movies, only that they bring back good memories for me.

Miracle Whip? Tone it Down? Wha?

2009-11-19T13:51:00.006-05:00

I had one of those epiphany moments last night where I was able to finally see how insane something is.

In this case, it is a slogan that Kraft is bandying about for Miracle Whip.

"We are Miracle Whip and we will not tone it down."

Has anyone in the history of mankind ever said something like that after eating a sandwich or other edible item prepared with Miracle Whip?

Tone it down?

Seriously? Who are these people who have been asking Kraft to tone down Miracle Whip... I want their names, I want their addresses and I want to have them involuntarily committed for the sake of humanity as a whole.

I mean, if someone was to advertise Tabasco sauce like that, it would make more sense. I can just see the ad campaign now (Crazy People style):

Or you know, if Miracle Whip had introduced some new flavors, like a chipotle blend (I just had a Freudian slip there as I typed bland rather than blend... oops), and they were using this campaign to advertise it, then again, that would be great.

It is like having an ad campaign for vanilla ice cream where you talked about how extreme a flavor it is. If you are trying to be funny, it works, but I don't get that sense from the Miracle Whip ads. It is like they are trying way to hard to rebrand themselves as this alternative sandwich spread when they have been the establishment ever since the process for making it was discovered during the Great Depression... and they were the cheaper alternative to mayo back then... now, not so much.

You can't be rebelling against the man if you ARE the man.

What I would love to see is French's Mustard and Heinz Ketchup totally mock these ads in their own special way. I mean, I would buy more of their products if they did. I make that pledge to you, my readers. In fact, I think I would make that promise about any product that prods Miracle Whip for making such a stupid commercial.

Midweek Video: Deeper and Deeper

2009-11-18T20:51:00.004-05:00

I was going to subject you all to a song that has been stuck in my head since a visit to the supermarket last week, but I didn't want to start the next "Rickroll" with that song, and thus, we have arrived at this selection.

I love the movie Streets of Fire and this is the song that they close out the credits with, so it has stuck with me for a number of years.

The Christmas TV Companion: A Review

2009-11-17T17:13:00.001-05:00

I was recently privileged to receive a copy of the first book released by 1701 Press (to my knowledge), a fun little slice of season appropriate enjoyment called The Christmas TV Companion: a Guide to Cult Classics, Strange Specials & Outrageous Oddities by Joanna Wilson.

Now, I used to think I was quite conversant with the pantheon of holiday-themed specials and movies, but after reading this Joanna Wilson's book, I can see how deficient I've been, especially when it comes to episodic television that was off the beaten path for me, whether it was from an age that was before my time or from a genre that never interested me as a kid.

For instance, aside from that Bing Crosby/David Bowie duet from the 1970's, my knowledge of Christmas episodes from variety TV is remarkably lean, and it seems there were some rather interesting moments in that medium that I should really look into (like a 1963 Judy Garland Show Christmas Special which Wilson describes in loving detail).

The category that she discusses which I am most familiar with is animation, which doesn't dwell on those programs which we have all seen (like a Charlie Brown Christmas, How The Grinch Who Stole Christmas and the Rankin/Bass specials), but shines a spotlight on the oddities of animated television in the modern era, including the various iterations of Charles Dicken's A Christmas Carol, and South Park, which has made Christmas episodes its bread and butter.

And she also devotes a fair amount of the book to both horror inspired and science fiction-based Christmas episodes, which means that Doctor Who, Bender, Buffy and Jack Skellington also get their moments to shine (and after all, A Christmas Carol is a story with ghosts and time travel after all). Wilson also spends some time discussing that holiday train wreck we are all familiar with, (though many of us, myself included, have been spared the agony of watching), and I am of course referring to the infamous The Star Wars Holiday Special. She took a hit I certainly wouldn't want to.

But I think the most interesting chapter of the book is the final one which takes a look at the darker, more cynical visions of the Christmas season, most of which are films. From the film noir The Lady in the Lake, to a few post-apocalyptic Christmas tales to even the Pope of Trash John Waters' Female Trouble, this section is filled with treasures which would be appreciated by those who aren't big on the saccharine and sugar plums (and for those of you who want their Christmas fare a little bloodier, well, there is that previously mentioned horror section).

In addition to these categorized chapters, Wilson has also included a number of Make Your Own Marathons (making a Christmas-themed marathons based not just on themes, but even taking a classic or cult film and trying to find Christmas episodes/movies with all the cast members in them). She finishes the book with her own version of the latter concept by putting together a Marathon based on the cast of The Big Lebowski, and what a list it turns out to be.

As a fellow traveler in the pop cultural world, Joanna Wilson's book is an entertaining trip through some of the less explored areas of our collective holiday experience. Naturally, there are a few things I wish were in it (like the hilarious Alan Cumming/Lenny Henry/Rowan Atkinson vehicle Bernard and The Genie), but for the most part, it hits a lot of movies and television episodes that deserve noting and it serves its purpose as a guidebook for the holiday season, especially with so many options on the cable and satellite dial (not to mention all the videos available online as well) that showcase things that may be off the radar.

No Words... should have sent a poet*

2009-11-16T12:45:00.000-05:00

* The first and likely last reference to the movie Contact ever. I mean ever.

I told Samuraifrog I was running this, and I am a man of my word.

Sunday Video: Husk Musk

2009-11-15T09:34:00.000-05:00

A Classic sketch from The Kids in the Hall. I know this isn't everyone's favorite, but I've always enjoyed the Danny Husk sketches.

I almost went with Spy Models or a Francesca Fiore sketch, but I thought better of it.

Week 27: Pageant of the Transmundane

2009-11-14T12:23:00.005-05:00

A high school in Massachusetts have made a strange 4-letter word an offense worthy of suspension. That word is Beaker from the Muppets exclamation Meep, because apparently students were causing a disturbance saying it, so if you say it or wear clothing with it on it, you can be suspended. I am trying to figure out how a nonsense word that has no offensive meanings in the context it is being used in became so serious that it would deny you education.

Anyway, this week's winning entry comes to us from the site Tunelab.

It is a video of British band Muse on an Italian music show... one which they were being forced to lipsync on, something they really didn't want to do. So, in the spirit of slightly silly acts of petty rebellion everywhere, the band played that gig, only the members decided to play different roles on stage, with much hilarity ensuing.

And since this is related to a band that started in the mid-1990's I thought this was the most appropriate image for the Homer Simpson Transmundanity Award this week.

Congrats to the staff of Tune Lab. Here is your badge.

The rules of this little contest: Every week I will be selecting one blog post that I have seen from the vast reaches of the blogging village to bestow with the Homer Simpson Transmundanity Award for being one of the freakiest(in a funny way) things I've seen or read during a 7 day period. It doesn't necessarily have to have been written during the week, I just had to have encountered it. That means that if you find something interesting and repost it like a movie or whatever, if I saw it at your blog first, you get the prize. Of course, creating your own content is also a very good way to win.

Now, if you see a post that you think is worthy of this illustrious prize, just drop me a line at campybeaver@gmail.com and we'll see if we can't get your suggestion up and award-ready while giving you some credit and a link to your own blog.

Learning Narrative Lessons from Gaming: What Not To Do

2009-11-12T15:42:00.002-05:00

There are rules that every writer involved in the crafting of fiction has learned through rout memorization or from seeing positive examples of how to do things from quality work. But there are times when you as a writer just need to see when things go wrong to fully sense why certain guidelines are in place.

I happened to have that experience with a game I've been playing, and I thought it was worth sharing. Now, some of you out there are likely thinking that picking on a game for having a bad narrative is like kicking a medium while they are down. I just think that they can get better, and in many cases, they do an admirable job telling a story while following the narrative rules other media follow.

And again, it is a learning experience for me doing this, so I am not going to complain. I also can't really fault the game in question on technical grounds because aside from the narrative problems, the gameplay was solid, so no complaints about that.

The game that made me think about all these issues was one titled Atelier Iris: Eternal Mana, which is the sixth game in a long running series of Role Playing games (and the first title from that series to be released in North America). If you've played a modern role playing game with a lot of item synthesis, you have the Atelier series to thank for that.

However, despite the innovations which the series introduced into the console role playing game market, the story line has some real problems. Suffice it to say, if you are planning on playing the game, well, there are naturally some spoilers here, so you may want to skip this entry.

1. There is a character in Eternal Mana who is really fleshed out, has an interesting back story, an engagingly blunt personality and is generally so likably persnickety that they dominate whatever scene they are in. Is this character part of the main cast of playable characters? Are they an non playable character you keep running into wherever you go? No again. Who is this super rounded character? A shopkeeper named Veola who you meet in the first town you visit. For those of you who have played an RPG, the idea that a shopkeeper that doesn't travel is the strongest and most developed character in the narrative you are being led through says a lot. Especially since the six characters who make up your party throughout the game in different configurations are much less interesting and developed than this NPC. The best way I can describe this situation is by comparing Veola to another character who shares some of her traits.... 24's Chloe O'Brian. I mean, most of us really enjoy watching the super competent and blunt Chloe do her thing... but she isn't the main character... she needs someone compelling to be the supporting character for, and she has that with Jack Bauer and other characters around her. Now imagine if Chloe as written on 24 was the supporting character for a couple of lead characters as written for a crappy 1950's educational film. Scratch that... imagine Chloe was the most developed character in that entire world... even more developed than the antagonist. I mean, you can get away with something like that in postmodern literature or an art film (I could totally see David Lynch or Thomas Pynchon trying to pull something like that off for instance), but in a traditional role playing game... well, not so much. Hell, I think Atlus could have pulled that off in one of their Shin Megami Tensei games... but Gust/NIS sort of missed the boat on this.

1a. This is related to the above section, so I can't make it an entirely different entry. You see, the writer/producers tried to almost set up a love triangle between the lead male character, Klein, the lead female character Lita and the aforementioned Veola. What would happen if you were watching a movie where the male lead had to choose between a fleshed out, interesting neurotic romantic interest and a relatively flat and underdeveloped one. I mean, it is obvious which is the better choice, but as a player, you know who will win that battle based on positioning. So the basic gist of this whole first point is if somehow you lifted Veola right out of this narrative then for the most part everything would seem to fit together better because you don't have something which is calling attention to how seemingly undeveloped the other characters are.

2. As I mentioned earlier, even the antagonist gets sort of short shrift in all this. I mean, you as the player/viewer have to feel that there is some reason why you should be chasing the big baddie... and really, the things that the foe you are working your way through the game to fight just didn't do it for me, especially when you look at other games in the genre. I mean, Kefka was a villain... Sephiroth was a villain. Mull is just an arrogant prick really who in the grand scheme of things, aside from one final act of hubris, wasn't really evil. And I don't mean he was nuanced or anything like that. He was sort of flat too. There was never a sense that I needed to see that guy get taken down (like Officer Tenpenny in Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas). The secondary recurring villain (who is not really a henchman) is a lot better, more interesting and yes, actually has some development as the story goes along. Of course, in terms of villainy, he is on par with a Dwight Schrute... not even the Diet Coke of evil. Yes, those of you who are familiar with the story know that I am mischaracterizing Beggur a bit... but only a little bit.

3. Like a lot of role playing games, Eternal Mana follows the tried and true method of structuring the narrative around a series of plot coupons which must be collected in order to get to the end, and it is only when you are near the end of that journey (I mean, right near the end) that you discover that you may be saving the world (because the menace at the end might not in fact destroy the world). First of all, that is a definite pacing problem... I mean, yes, you build to a climax like that by ratcheting things up, but come on, you don't just suddenly spring that on someone in the final act. It also doesn't help that when you get to the end, it almost takes you by surprise... because precedent indicates that the moment that you've arrived at is never really that ending point... it is a boss battle that is unbelievably the last battle of the game. And as I mentioned earlier, you really need a villain that actually pulls an ending together from its disparate threads, which he can't.

Now again, I don't hate this game. In fact, I was the person who started the entry about it at TV Tropes, so clearly, I have given it some thought. But point #1 in all this is just a full on narrative breaker in all this, and those other problems are sort of minor compared with it. As someone who has some minor aspirations when it comes to the written word, seeing something which clearly broke a lot of the rules was very enlightening. Figuring out why those points bothered me has likely made me a little more critical about the work I do now too.

Midweek Video: Yo La Tengo play Springfield

2009-11-11T19:34:00.003-05:00

Yo La Tengo were playing a show in Springfield, Missouri, and they felt it was rather appropriate to start with an instrumental TV theme.

I think I'd like to see the seedier version of The Simpsons this would go along with. It sort of reminds me of Jack White's intro to Loretta Lynn's Portland, Oregon.

NBC and Jay Leno: Is it time to pull the plug?

2009-11-11T16:02:00.003-05:00

As we all know, NBC took a gamble by devoting 5 hours a week in prime time to Jay Leno at the expense of dramatic scripted programming. It seems that gamble isn't paying off.

The Jay Leno show would be profitable if it garnered a 1.5 share of the audience. As of late, it isn't even reaching that meager goal. Shows have been cancelled this year that were generating much better ratings than this. In fact, earlier shows in the Monday 10PM slot like Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip and Journeyman did better than Jay Leno is doing now.

Put it this way: on Monday, WWE wrestling on cable beat Jay Leno, and those were troubling numbers for RAW.

So can someone please put the viewing public out of its misery and finally cancel Jay Leno. I am even willing to bet that if NBC bought the rights to the other shows that have recently been cancelled, I don't think they could possibly do worse than they are right now (and it would likely garner them some great press too). Or they could show reruns of shows which get good DVR ratings to perhaps buoy their ad sales (since there would be no additional production costs for doing that).

Of course, if it was ultimately their goal to seriously weaken Jay Leno as a late night threat after his time at NBC, well, they have likely more than succeeded. I don't think he is a threat to anyone in late night now.

If this is true, ABC just made my day

2009-11-10T14:48:00.004-05:00

I had a completely different post in mind for today, but I read something juicy on an entertainment site, something that I couldn't wait to talk about, so I preempted today's scheduled post.

This is a story which almost mimics the very show it is about.

It all starts with the disastrous failure of ABC's Eastwick to find a consistent audience on Wednesday nights. After its initial run of 13 episodes, it looks like it isn't coming back.

The prevailing thought was that Lost would soon come in after that and take the 10PM Wednesday slot in January... but there is a rumor going around that another ABC show may end up taking that time slot instead.

Ugly Betty.

Why would the network be considering such a move? Well, the prevailing wisdom seems to be that their successes with their other comedy series on that night might prove to be a great lead in to a show which, despite the network's previous death sentence time slot, they still apparently believe in the series.

It is my hope that if they do indeed end up with that time slot that the show brings back some of its gay elements that were stripped over the past year and a half, like Marc in a relationship, and perhaps Justin's first forays into the world of dating in the open, because I think that would strengthen the whole package. And with Eastwick's cancellation, I guess Alex Meade is back in play too.

I know that this time slot would likely reinvigorate my love for the series, and I would choose it over the other show which I've been watching on cable for years now.

If it comes to pass, I know there will likely be a lot of Lost fans who are disappointed, though a solution that I've heard bandied about in comment sections is that perhaps Lost and Flash Forward would also be put into a block so that they strengthen each other as a unit.

But somehow I think Lost is getting the Wednesday slot no matter what because it still has the juice at the moment.

From the Files of TV Tropes #1

2009-11-09T16:51:00.001-05:00

Semaj has an interesting feature on his blog where he explores the Urban Dictionary and plucks out gems from within to show the world at large. When I started frequenting TV Tropes, I thought I would do the same.

And with no further gilding the lily, let's get on with the show.

Nintendo Hard: When I was a kid, games were hard by design, especially on the namesake's first system, the NES. Part of the reason for this was it helped games last longer, though the little known fact I discovered reading this entry was some of this difficulty was artificially added by Japanese game makers to make the prospect of renting a game and beating it in a night very difficult (Japan did not have game rentals). The game that immediately comes to mind for this, and anyone who is around my age and played a lot of Nintendo when they were kids or is a student of gaming will probably know the name Battletoads. Or anything from the Ghosts and Goblins line of games. And if you've ever tried playing Contra without the most infamous cheat code in existence, you know exactly what Nintendo Hard is. For modern gamers, think about Gran Turismo's licensing tests, or the challenges in Stuntman or God Hand (the whole game), Ikaruga and so many others. These are the kinds of experiences which convince you that game designers are sadistic bastards who get their kicks from torturing gamers. I even recall seeing a T-Shirt somewhere that said "Real Life is Nintendo Hard" which I thought was very fitting.

The Geek Reference Pool: This is a term that TV Tropes has come up with to describe how geeks and nerds are portrayed on television through the things that come up in scenes devoted to them. You know, stuff like all geeks being into either Star Wars or Star Trek to an insane degree, or Dungeons and Dragons, or only the most modern of games (because no one likes retro games, do they). My addition to the entry was to note that collecting and comic books get thrown into that mix a lot more too. I mean, when you think about it, geekdom is filled with less than nuanced interpretations in the media, which is a shame because when you think about television writers, especially on sitcoms, the word that immediately comes to mind is geeky.

Brick Joke: In the most concise way I can put this, this is when you are watching a movie, television show or the like, and there is a small joke or reference to something which might be mildly amusing at the time, which comes back when you've almost forgotten about it and ends up being hilarious. Now to me, the longer it takes between the initial mention of the joke and its ultimate fruition, the better the payoff. I am loathe to mention it, but one example that comes to mind is there was an episode of Family Guy where the Griffins get put into Witness Protection in the Deep South and as part of that adventure, Brian tries to jump through the closed window of a General Lee replica and gets knocked out. Four years later (a time span that included the cancellation of the show), Brian finally gets his retribution for that act during another episode and the payoff was great. From reading the entry at TV Tropes, it seems that How I Met Your Mother is the master of this kind of thing (as are Simon Pegg and Edgar Wright). Frankly I love anything that rewards an observant viewer/reader/player. If it is a single movie, having the Brick Joke appear in the Stinger/movie coda is especially cool too.

Sunday Video: Hot Toy Fuzz

2009-11-08T16:49:00.002-05:00

Hot Fuzz meets the Toy Story movies. Hilarity ensues.

I love the role reversal.

Week 26: Pageant of the Transmundane

2009-11-07T13:33:00.006-05:00

A car reported stolen 35 years ago in Spokane, Washington was recently recovered from a shipping container in Long Beach, California. I guess this gives everyone who has had a car stolen the dim hope that one day, it may be found again in a totally restored condition (it was a 1965 VW van). What would really make this a funny story is if it ended up getting stolen again.

Anyway, this week's winning entry was suggested to the royal us by long time reader Lee Sargent, who was cited in it. Hey, I am never one to frown on self promotion after all.

The entry in question is from the blog Captain Incredible - Hero of Neptune.

It features a video which was put together with various sound clips from the geeks' menagerie of influences, from cult and classic television to movie and a few other places in between.

And for some strange reason, I thought that the Sgt. Pepper-inspired Simpsons cover for the Yellow Album would be the appropriate image this week. I don't know why really.

Congrats Captain Incredible, whoever you are. Here is your badge.

The rules of this little contest: Every week I will be selecting one blog post that I have seen from the vast reaches of the blogging village to bestow with the Homer Simpson Transmundanity Award for being one of the freakiest(in a funny way) things I've seen or read during a 7 day period. It doesn't necessarily have to have been written during the week, I just had to have encountered it. That means that if you find something interesting and repost it like a movie or whatever, if I saw it at your blog first, you get the prize. Of course, creating your own content is also a very good way to win.

Now, if you see a post that you think is worthy of this illustrious prize, just drop me a line at campybeaver@gmail.com and we'll see if we can't get your suggestion up and award-ready while giving you some credit and a link to your own blog.

No Doubt Sues Activision

2009-11-06T14:44:00.005-05:00

The band No Doubt is suing Activision over an issue which I feel is rather silly, but which they take very seriously.

No Doubt agreed to appear in the game Band Hero, and now they are upset that within the game, the band can be chosen by the player to play any song. That's it. Their virtual image isn't being used to have virtual sex, do drugs, commit violent acts or anything unseemly... they are simply able to be used as the covering band, doing the thing that they do as themselves.

Now does anyone really think that a digitalized version of No Doubt lip synching to Y.M.C.A by the Village People or ABC by the Jackson Five is going to irreparably harm their image?

I mean, when Guitar Hero: Aerosmith or Metallica came out, did the fact that those bands in question were playing music by other artists somehow diminish them? No. So how come all of a sudden No Doubt feels that they are so special that being associated with other artists of their caliber somehow makes them less. If anything, they are elevated above them rather than being sublimated by them... so if anyone should be bringing suit, it is those artists who are not being represented like that.

When I mentioned this story on a game trading site I frequent, it turned out I was of the minority position because there is a lot of hate towards Activision for their perceived and real slights against gaming fans and such, and the general consensus seems to be that Activision is evil and they deserve what they get.

Am I really the crazy one in all this?

My Enemies List: Addendum #4

2009-11-05T12:58:00.000-05:00

It has been about two months since I last made additions to my enemies list, but I think I have found two more worthy entries for it.

Andrew Schlafly: Whenever I do one of these lists, there is usually one wingnut. Some are easy to recognize, some are very difficult. This entry is almost wearing a t-shirt that says they are in great big letters. You see, the reason that Mr. Schlafly is on this list is because I was looking at wikis this week, and he started the Conservapedia. The reason why he did so, and some of the subsequent incidents because of it are the reason why he is made this list. Schlafly has stated that he felt that Wikipedia has a "liberal, anti-Christian, and anti-American" bias. I could bring up a Stephen Colbert's quip that "Reality has a well-known liberal bias" as well, but that would be mean on my part. Some of the reasons he has seemed to find the site anti-American is due to the fact that non-Americans can edit the site from their own point of view and with their own take on the English spelling (British spelling is evil you know), and it is anti-Christian because the accepted date format is CE rather than AD amongst other things. He has been miffed that his edits of Wikipedia seemed to get deleted at times within a minute of posting, and has taken that as a sign that the whole thing is liberal, rather than as a sign that he may be a crank, and yet on his side of the Wiki aisle, there is very little freedom to express one's self outside of an agreed upon version of Conservative Christian orthodoxy. I've even heard rumors that editing is closed on Conservapedia during what are twilight hours in North America. There is the Lenski affair, and a spurious complaint to the FBI because someone edited a number of pages on the site by changing "Christianity" to "Ethnic Identity", the upshot of which is now people are getting permabanned for even mentioning the FBI on the site. But the topper for all this, the thing that proves just how nutty Schlafly is is the fact that he is spearheading an effort to take liberal influences out of the Bible... which includes the passage about He who is Without Sin, Cast the First Stone and Jesus asking God to forgive the people who crucified him. This is of course, just the tip of the iceberg.

Canadian Cable Companies: I have to preface this by saying that I live in an area that may or may not lose its local stations. There is a battle between local television stations and their networks and the Canadian Cable Companies. The cable television companies, who as far as I know have territorial monopolies (although maybe there is competition in places like Toronto and Montreal), and are carrying local stations on their systems without compensating those stations for their content. Those stations want some compensation, especially since as I understand it, cable viewers cannot be counted when they sell advertising on the station. What's more, the cable companies pay American stations to air them on the system, and yet, somehow they've gotten around that with local broadcasters, despite the fact that they are getting paid for doing so. When local stations started to complain and they banded together to get the revenues that they are owned with a series of television ads explaining the situation, the cable companies responded with a series of commercials of their own, making it seem like the local stations were being paid and were just trying to extort 10 dollars a month from subscribers, which is sheer chutzpah on two level. One as I mention, the local stations are getting dime one from the cable companies and two, where this 10 dollar fee came from is a mystery since the parties involved haven't even started negotiating over this, which to me tells me that the cable companies plan on instituting a new charge no matter what happens, even if the CRTC (the Canadian equivalent of the FCC) says they can't pass on the local TV payments to consumers. The CRTC declared that cable companies couldn't charge customers for a payment they are supposed to make to support independent productions in Canada, but somehow, cable bills went up the same amount that the cable companies are supposed to be paying into that account. But I am going to tell you a little story that might demonstrate why I have a hard time believing anything the cable companies have to say at the moment. Back in 2003, our cable system was slowly making the transition from a purely analog system to a two tier system with basic analog cable with a set of digital channels with a box for the higher channels. During this transition, the Canadian equivalent of HBO was on both the analog and digital dial, until one day, it just disappeared from analog, which was what I was watching it on. So I call the cable company and tell them my problem, that the station disappeared without warning, and the guy on the other end, without missing a beat, says that what I say isn't possible... because that channel was never on analog. Right... a channel that I had watched for 7 years was never on the system. So I am a liar then and my previous experiences were a hallucination. I mean, that is a much more likely explanation than say this one: you wanted subscribers to move up to the digital package, and you didn't want to send a letter telling analog subscribers that you were in fact discontinuing that channel for them like you had for so many other changes. Telling your customers they are liars is always a great policy, isn't it?

Midweek Video: The Most Honest Used Car Ad Ever

2009-11-04T19:36:00.000-05:00

Why do people hate used car salesmen? Because they've met a used car salesman.

Even though this is a parody, I think it accurately portrays not only the pomp of used car commercials (because wording aside, it is almost exactly like the ones I'd see as a kid on local TV), but the underlying attitude a lot of bad used car salesmen bring to the jobs.

Hmmm...

2009-11-04T17:09:00.005-05:00

I just realized I haven't done an enemies list post in a while.

Maybe I should... I don't know... do something about that.

A Excellent Wiki Site: TV Tropes

2009-11-03T16:55:00.002-05:00

A lot of sites on the web have taken the Wiki idea, and ran with it, none more successfully than Wikipedia of course. I have to say that I have visited a lot of these sites over the past few years, most of which are based on documenting a single topic in minute detail (especially the ones based on pop culture).

But I think one of the best wiki-based sites out there at the moment is TV Tropes, a place I didn't even know existed until it became the basis for an XKCD strip.

And the strip gets it right... it is like crack. I mean, I go there every day to look up things and just browse around.

TV Tropes is a site that breaks down almost every kind of narrative form, from film, literature and television to animation, video games and even professional wrestling into its component parts.

For instance, if I was curious about a movie... say, RoboCop, and I wanted to know some of the specific themes that were explored in the storytelling, I can just look it up on TV Tropes, and read through the itemized list of tropes, each of which is hyperlinked to a page devoted to that trope.

And because it is a wiki, if anyone thinks of new things to add to an entry, they are free to do so. But there is a certain amount of informality to the whole thing which makes it somewhat refreshing. In the words on the front page of the site, "We are not Wikipedia. We're a buttload more informal." It isn't just major works that are allowed on the site either... almost any narrative can have a page and be listed under the various categories, and if you are a fan of something, you can start a page dedicated to it, and perhaps through the wonders of Wiki Magic, a mighty page may emerge from your humble stub.

And there are trope categories that, while they don't specifically discuss a theme in a work, are still interesting to read. For example, there are sections about Fridge Logic (about plot holes you notice just after you've seen a particular work), and the Crowning Moments series (Awesome, Heartwarming, Funny along with a music one too). It is a site that just keeps expanding with the addition of excellent content daily.

Of course, I am not just a casual browser of the site anymore... I am also an active member of the editing community, so I am naturally very enthused by the whole thing.

Express Checkout: Southland, Leno, Gaga

2009-11-02T17:34:00.004-05:00

- TNT has rescued the NBC drama Southland from NBC's cancellation scrap heap. If they get to run the episodes that are already in the can (as the show was cancelled before it aired a single episode this season), TNT made an awesome move, one which might benefit the series as well with the network's solid cable ratings and emphasis on drama. For those of you who were upset that Jay Leno pushed this series aside, there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

- Speaking of which, Jay Leno has stated that if NBC was to offer him the hosting duties of The Tonight Show once again, he would take them up on the offer. I don't know about you, but I think the fact that Leno is stinking up an hour of prime time every week night seems to indicate that he might be willing to do anything to get that slot back. Part of me wonders if David Letterman would have taken a 10PM slot on NBC after Jay got The Tonight Show?

- Lady Gaga has plans to release a collector's edition of her first album with a book that has a lock of her hair in it. Outside of people who might want to kill her with with a magical curse and a stalker or two, who really wants a hunk of Lady Gaga's hair... I mean, really. I should also note that aside from a little bit of Let's Dance, I can honestly say that I haven't heard a thing she has sang... I feel fortunate.

Week 25: Pageant of the Transmundane

2009-10-31T11:22:00.003-04:00

I have to preface this week's celebration of the Transmundane with a note. I didn't intentionally look for something Halloween-related this week to laud, but nonetheless, it just sort of happened that way, which is a happy accident all things considered.

With that being said, this week's winning entry comes to us from the blog of Corey FOLO.

This time around, the winning entry incorporates a few elements which have proven to be factors that win Transmundanity Awards. It was a Japanese video where some young children are confronted by a zombie for a show, and there efforts to defeat it. We all know something like that would never fly on American television these days... people just don't like their kids to get scared anymore, which is a shame really. All this entry needed was Muppets in a movie mashup and it would have easily been the front runner for the Annual Transmundanity awards as well.

Since I've been using a lot of zombie Simpsons pictures as of late, I thought it might be a nice change of pace to focus on the other half of the equation... the Japanese part of the clip, and present this Japanese cover for The Simpsons Movie as the award image this week.

Congrats Corey... here is your badge.

The rules of this little contest: Every week I will be selecting one blog post that I have seen from the vast reaches of the blogging village to bestow with the Homer Simpson Transmundanity Award for being one of the freakiest(in a funny way) things I've seen or read during a 7 day period. It doesn't necessarily have to have been written during the week, I just had to have encountered it. That means that if you find something interesting and repost it like a movie or whatever, if I saw it at your blog first, you get the prize. Of course, creating your own content is also a very good way to win.

Now, if you see a post that you think is worthy of this illustrious prize, just drop me a line at campybeaver@gmail.com and we'll see if we can't get your suggestion up and award-ready while giving you some credit and a link to your own blog.

The Halloween Related Story That Pissed Me Off

2009-10-29T15:14:00.002-04:00

I was working on the computer last night when I overheard a local news story (not local to me, I think it was local to Seattle), which seems to be one of those interest stories that is spreading like wild fire.

Apparently this year is going to be the year of raunchy, overly sexualized costumes for preteens... and everyone needs to be afraid.

I can see why this is being covered, mainly because they usually show adults wearing versions of the same costumes so that people can be outraged and offended that kids might be wearing the same thing.

However, there was something that came up which really lit a fire under my ass to write this post... they brought up the idea that a pedophile was going to see a someone's kid in a provocative costume and suddenly just grab them.

In essence, what that particular news department is doing is taking a story which could be summed up in one short phrase: There is a shocking dearth of costumes appropriate for tweens (they are too old for kids costumes, and too young for teen/adult ones). That was enough... that is what the story is really about.

Throwing pedophiles in there is just sensationalism at its worst, something meant to make the story seem a lot more important than it really is. Because, I have yet to read any statistics regarding Halloween and pedophile activity, and I might even be willing to bet statistically it is probably safer than nearly every other day of the year (because you know the police are going to be looking for that and trick or treating is something which is highly scrutinized activity). I guess including it makes good copy though.

And the reason why that little addition made me angry was it was telling parents that going out for Halloween is inherently unsafe (just like those urban legends about razor blades in apples and such did for an earlier generation). So what that station, and likely other stations are doing is they are robbing a generation of kids of the joy of Halloween, and that is just irresponsible. Halloween is about scaring people, but this kind of reporting is not what anyone had in mind.

They should feel ashamed of themselves for giving overprotective parents more things to be worried about over a piece of clothing they are going to wear one day of the year.

Midweek Video: Henry Rollins' Liar

2009-10-28T18:17:00.004-04:00

The reasons I posted this:

1. It is Halloween week and Henry Rollins does make a compelling devil.
2. I've been thinking about the fictive process all this week.
3. Someone was discussing honesty, drama and relationships on their blog.
4. Henry Rollins alone justifies it.

Express Checkout: 5 Things that I can't make a Pun with

2009-10-27T15:29:00.003-04:00

- When I first read the story that comedian David Cross snorted cocaine in the presence of Barack Obama at the White House Correspondents' Dinner, that fact didn't shock me. What did shock me was the revelation that Cross is dating former Joan of Arcadia star, Amber Tamblyn (and that was the reason he got to go). And I don't know about you, but somehow, Larry the Cable Guy gained a lot of points in all this, because while he may play a redneck jackass for his fans, I think even he would have had the class not to snort coke in front of a sitting president.

- Over the weekend, my mother showed me a talking doll that she is going to give to my niece for Christmas, and part of the doll's programming is that she can read from a book of nursery rhymes... and when this was demonstrated to me, I was sort of appalled by something. It was almost a caricature of the Canadian accent... it was unbelievably broad. Granted, I haven't traveled across this great land, so maybe everybody but me and the rest of the people in my neck of the woods actually talks like that... but I've never heard that accent on television or on other media except when someone was mocking the accent (I swear, it is almost a McKenzie Brothers accent minus the ehs.). I know part of the issue with me has to do with how slowly the doll speaks so that a toddler can clearly understand the words, but it is still a surprisingly thick accent.

- I read over the weekend that Paul Haggis has left the Church of Scientology, and in doing so, it revealed just how in the dark the membership is about things that the organization is doing outside of the group. With filtering software on their computers and internal pressure not to question things, it seems that it takes a lot to push someone over the edge enough that individuals start looking for answers outside the group. I think Haggis's realization that he knows that the group is going to try to discredit him by using his own admissions during auditing against him was especially telling, and having that knowledge makes his public break from the Church that much braver. It is unfortunate that other members will likely not see things the way he has presented them however, rather, they will get a version which is twisted and missing its most critical parts. In short, he is going to be painted as some loony suppressive person who no one in the church should listen to, or that he is simply mistaken.

- Anyone taking bets on how long DMX, who isn't training BTW, is going to last in his first MMA bout? I am saying less than 60 seconds.

- I think I speak for a lot of people when I say that Spike Lee should be quiet for a while and just let his work as a director speak for him after he starting going after Tyler Perry. Look, I am not a fan of Perry's films, but I think when you are criticizing someone in your industry when you are in a position to, I don't know, make a movie which shows why what the other person is doing is deleterious, then that's what you should do. What I am really getting from this whole thing is that Spike Lee may be more upset that Tyler Perry's movies make more money than his own (and I think Oprah supporting Perry wholeheartedly probably irks him too).