tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27120671.post-1146425580328668852006-04-30T15:25:00.000-04:002006-04-30T15:45:47.246-04:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/5660/2848/1600/135747885_f610817cd3.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/5660/2848/320/135747885_f610817cd3.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />The themes of this episode are: pornography, gastronomy, technology, generocity, and rock and roll.<br /><br />***<br /><br />This past Sunday I got completely naked with dozens of naked Japanese men, including Lisa's entire family. The women did the same, but in a separate section of what is called an onsen - a bath house. It is perhaps one of the oddest national pastimes, in which literally the entire family gets together for an entire day of steam rooms, natural hot spring baths and sometimes specialty activities like lying down on specially treated rocks that contain minerals or something in a sauna room for twenty minutes while mood music plays (clothed in a robe for this part). It was some fine steaming and my skin looks ravishing. There is not much else to say about this, the pornographic portion of this email, so I will move on to the gastonomy/food pornography section of now.<br /><br />Preceeding the onsen, we ate an obscene amount of pork, because the onsen was part of a pig-centric complex in the town of Saiboku, known for its award-winning pork. I think they actually raise the pigs right there, but I didnt see them. What I did see was thinly sliced pork for shabu-shabu (you pick up a slice of pork and some vegatables and dip them in a communal hot broth to cook, then dip in your own sauce - I suppose the whole activity does relate to the onsen on some metaphysical level), as well as thicker slices of pork for yaki-niku (you cook the pork and vegetables on a communal hot plate), pork nuggets, and various pork sausages. In short, a lot of pork was eaten. Then, the pork-fest culminated when the waitress brought out udon noodles to cook in the shabu-shabu broth and thin soba noodles to make a yaki-soba (fried noodles and vegetables) on the yaki hot plate.<br /><br />After the onsen (apologies for the time jump in my yarn here), the Saito family went on a pork shopping spree. Lisa's college-age cousin Yusuke bought two pork shoulders, an entire pig tongue and these little gross bits of pork in a package that he explained to us was the pig's throat. Apparently this is considered appetizing. When we got back to the house later, they actually busted out one of the shoulders to go along with the requisite beer drinking. Until now I have neglected to mention that Lisa's family actually has a beer tap in their house. Anthropologists note this is not typical for Japan, just Lisa's family.<br /><br />Onto technology (with a little bit of food mixed in moentarily). Some things in Japan are super advanced (see butt washing, from my first email), and some things are not so much (old school doo doo hatches, ibid.). Case in point: the bicycles here seem very basic, no frills, no flashy colors. Side note: they also don't really lock them up, even in the city, most people just lock one wheel in place. One of the family automobiles weve been getting carted around in, however, has the most advanced stuff I've ever seen in a car. First off, there's no key. Just a little remote control that lets you in, then you press a button to start the car. And, the dashboard has a computer with GPS, that talks (!!!) to tell you the directions to whatever destination you enter. Plus, the same screen controls the heat/a.c., radio, cd player, a DVD player and live TV. Also, the cab doors open and close automatically here.<br /><br />On the food/technology tip, we went to a conveyor belt sushi place in Yokohama (where they chefs send little plates of sushi around on a conveyor belt and you pick whatever you want) and at the end of the meal, they tally up the bill by waving a scanner over the plates, which each have a computer chip embedded in the bottom, to determine your total. Another side bar: a brief run down of some uncommon sushi dishes I've tried: raw shrimp (not so good, cooked is better), scallops (delish), swordfish (pretty good), tuna with nato (not good) and tuna with torroro (grated Japanese yam, pretty good).<br /><br />Okay, so generocity. This is another case of yin and yang at work. On the subways, the people are absolute savages. Nobody ever says excuse me, they shove really hard during rush hour to pack onto the trains, they don't get out of your way if you are about to walk into somebody by accident. Altogether its like being on the L train during rush hour in the morning but even if you wait for the next 3 trains, they'll all be equally packed and annoying.<br /><br />But, when you go visit somebody, the gift-exchanging is so extravagent it's hilarious. First off, Lisa, her mom and I travelled to Japan with literally three large suitcases just for gifts: dried fruit, chocolate, t-shirts, key chains, etc. etc. Lots of crap. But the other day we went to Yokohama to visit some relatives, and they gave us three bags of gifts -- rice crackers, food stuff, sweets, and we were visiting them! Then, our host paid for dinner (whoever invites you to<br />a meal just discreetly goes off and pays the bill before you even have a chance to offer money). Plus, when we got back, we were admiring the resident grandma lady`s folk art sewing things (hard to explain -- they're like balls with yarn wrapped around to make pretty designs) and she just gave us one. Not to mention the rest of Lisa's family paying for everything. You can't even argue. We tried at lunch yesterday and it was met with a vehement refusal that could be understood in any language.<br /><br />Finally, rock and roll: we went to a rock show last night to see The Fucking Champs (from the US), Metalchicks (Japan, they kick ass, it's the singer from Buffalo Daughter and the drummer from OOIOO), Texas Leatherman (typical Japanese stage histrionics/weirdness, a surf-rock style, drummer had a big gong) and the Bi Bom Bom Boys or something like that (the Japanese Logjam, they came out in Hawaiin shirts to sing two acapella numbers, then played ska-ish stuff for too long and had a lot of probably somewhat funny banter). Anyway, its just like going to a rock show in NY, a semi-bored-looking crowd, semi-unfriendly staff, one haggard old rock chick standing off to the side, crappy domestic beer in a can for $5, it started a half hour late, the bands took too long in between and so on. But, to Japan's credit, it all began at 7pm so even with delays and nonsense it ended by 11. Also, the venue looked like a typical Williamsburg firetrap, but had an excellent sound system (screw you Todd P) and had a real bar. Also, Lisa still got bored. Some things are universal.<br /><br />***<br /><br />So, that about covers the themes for today. In final conclusion, as this will likely be my last email from here, I will provide evidence that Japan has something for everyone. Here goes:<br /><br />For people who like bunions - all the women wear high heels all the time.<br /><br />For fans of slim-fitting black suits - all the young business men wear them all the time.<br /><br />For fans of passive aggression - you will definitely get shoved at least once on a train.<br /><br />Fans of hooters - owls are a common theme for wall hangings, knick knacks, etc.<br /><br />Fans of monkeys - the morning news seems to have at least one story about a monkey every morning.<br /><br />Dog and cat fanciers - there are multiple magazines dedicated to dogs and cats (always separate) in every book store.<br /><br />Fans of confusion - there is no grid system on the streets of Tokyo. Also, theres about 20 train stations that are as big and confusing as Grand Central in Tokyo.<br /><br />Fans of extravagence (dog related) - $50 t-shirts for dogs are a common item here.<br /><br />Fans of extravagence (human related) - $70 t-shirts for humans are even more common in the department stores.<br /><br />Environmentalists - they separate all their garbage into four categories and are totally dedicated.<br /><br />Anti-environmentalists - everything you buy has about five layers of wrapping.<br /><br />Fans of Paris Hilton - in Shibuya many of the young girls have fake tans and blonde hair.<br /><br />Fans of second-hand smoke - theres smoking everywhere and nobody has any qualms about it.<br /><br />Alcoholics - beer is available everywhere in vending machines.<br /><br />Strange and disgusting foods - two other dishes that I havent mentioned or tried yet include horse meat and fried fish ovaries.<br /><br />Syonara,<br />mattS. Foxx Fitgeraldhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12375604567205906989noreply@blogger.com