C h r y s a l i s

Word-Filled-Wednesday: Psalm 68:5-6

2009-11-24T19:36:00.000-08:00

“Father of the fatherless and protector of widows is God in his holy habitation. God settles the solitary in a home. (Ps 68:5-6a)

Word-Filled-Wednesday is hosted by the lovely Amydeanne at The 160 Acre Woods. This week, please join us for God's Word at Susan's blog Forever His.

Reflection: National Adoption Month

Written by e-Mom. Follow me on Twitter. Subscribe in a Reader

Raise your hand. Were you adopted? Do you know someone who was adopted? Are you praying about adopting a child right now? Most of us have had contact, directly or indirectly, with someone whose life has been impacted by adoption. And as Christians, all of us can identify with the joy and privilege of being adopted into the family of God. (Gal 4:4-6)

Every year, the President of the United States makes a proclamation to announce November as National Adoption Month. This month is set aside to raise awareness about the need for adoption of children and youth from foster care. This year's theme is catchy and encouraging, "You don't have to be perfect to be a perfect parent." There are many orphaned children who would be delighted to "put up" with you and me! In the United States there are approximately 129,000 children waiting for adoptive homes.

Book Giveaway

Maybe you've thought about reaching out to support other parents going through the adoption process. If you're wondering where to start, I have a FREE copy of the book, The Adoption Network: Your Guide to Starting a Support System to give away.

I've become acquainted with author and adoption expert, Laura Christianson through our women's Bible study at church. She's such a lovely sister. At our meeting last night, Laura spoke briefly about her other books on adoption, including The Adoption Decision: 15 Things You Want to Know Before Adopting and then she gave away several copies of her terrific resource.

Let me pass my autographed copy on to you. If you're interested, please leave me a comment, and I'll add your name to my drawing. The winner will be announced on Wed. Dec. 2, 2009.

Related

1. You can learn more about Laura in this interview,
"Laura Christianson in the Spotlight: Q&A With an Adoption Expert."

2. Among other things, Tara Livesay blogs about transracial adoption in Haiti where she and her "tribe" of nine serve as missionaries. Don't miss this outstanding blog, The Livesay [Haiti] Weblog.

Photos: timsamoff & madhava (Flickr)

Up Next—Reminder: Marriage Monday is Coming!

Can you recommend any adoption resources?

Hospitality: Easy Entertaining on a Dime

2009-11-19T21:35:00.000-08:00

13 Ways to Feed Your Friends Well... Without Taking a Bite Out of Your Holiday Budget
Written by e-Mom. Follow me on Twitter. Subscribe in a Reader

1. Serve bubbly cocktails by mixing bargain champagne with fruit juice. You can make “poinsettias” with cranberry juice or “pomegranate fizz” with pomegranate juice.

2. Serve sliced baguettes with affordable domestic cheeses instead of imported cheeses and fancy crackers.

3. Another easy appetizer: Order pizzas half an hour before your guests arrive, and cut them into bite-sized pieces.

4. Go retro when it comes to hors d'oeuvres: Serve the things your mother used to put out like sour-cream-and-onion-soup dip, and cream cheese and chutney on crackers.

5. Host an international cocktail party instead of a full-blown dinner. Ask each of your guests to bring a plate of appetizers from their family’s country of origin.

6. Or, host a brunch and serve egg dishes. Much more affordable than steak, you can feed frittata or an egg souffle or casserole to a crowd for just a few dollars.

7. Have a girls only lunch party. Invite three close friends over for cheese fondue. Toss a simple salad, and serve lemon ice-water to go with.

8. Host a Spanish-themed dinner party. Make the paella yourself and ask each guest to bring one ingredient to make Sangria. (Alcohol-free recipe.)

9. Pasta, rice, and soup are examples of “bulk” dishes that serve as a base for a relatively small amount of pricier meat or veggies.

10. Keep your sweets simple by scattering sliced orange segments and chopped dark chocolate bars on a special platter.

11. Host a banana split bar at your dessert party. Provide ice cream, hot fudge, maraschino cherries, and lots of homemade whipped cream. Ask guests to bring their favorite chopped nuts and sprinkles.

12. Ignore all the holiday-themed merrymaking. Find a friend with a December birthday and offer up something simple and familiar—cake and ice cream!

13. Limit your guest list. It seems obvious but the fastest, easiest way to pare down your budget is to invite fewer people.

Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for by this some have entertained angels without knowing it. (Hebrews 13:2 NASB)

For more list posts, join the Thursday Thirteen bloggers here. Also, I guarantee you'll improve your homemaking skills when you visit the clever Mommy bloggers linked at the Works-For-Me-Wednesday weekly carnival.

Related Sites

• Rachel Anne's inspiring blog, Home Sanctuary

• Liz's delicious blog, Hoosier Homemade

• e-Mom's site, Susannah's Aprons

Photos: ra64 & pshab (Flickr) Mommy Life

Bonus Below: Impress your guests! Here's a frugal way to light up the exterior of your house... ("Ditto")

What’s missing? Can you add to this list?

Word-Filled-Wednesday: 1 Cor 11:7-8

2009-11-17T19:58:00.000-08:00

Woman was Created to be a Helper

“A man ought not to cover his head, since he is the image and glory of God; but the woman is the glory of man. For man did not come from woman, but woman from man; neither was man created for woman, but woman for man. (1 Cor 11:7-8 NIV. Read this verse in context.)

Word-Filled-Wednesday is hosted by the lovely Amydeanne at The 160 Acre Woods. This week, please join us for God's Word at Christy's blog Critty Joy.

Reflection: You Married a Man

Posted by e-Mom. Follow me on Twitter. Subscribe in a Reader

"He is likely to be bigger and louder and tougher and hungrier and dirtier than a woman expects, and she finds that bigger feet make bigger footprints on the newly washed kitchen floor; they make a bigger noise on the stairs. She learns that what makes her cry may make him laugh. He eats far more than seems necessary or even reasonable to a woman who never ceases vigil against excess weight. When he takes a shower his broader dimensions mean more water used and a greater surface for water to cling to and therefore she finds that the towels get much wetter, and he probably doesn't hang them up folded in three as she wants him to in order to display the monogram. He may not hang them up at all.

He's a toothpaste-tube twister instead of
a roller.

He won't use a washcloth, which means he consumes three times as much soap as she does. When she cleans the bathroom she finds she has to clean in places she never had to clean before. He's a toothpaste-tube twister instead of a roller. Anything he does which seems to her inexplicable or indefensible she dismisses with 'Just like a man!' as though this were a condemnation or at best an excuse instead of a very good reason for thanking God. It is a man she married, after all, and she is lucky if he acts like a man."—Elisabeth Elliot, Let Me be a Woman.

Elisabeth Elliot always makes me smile! Some of her finest words, don't you think? This excerpt is via Sandra Peoples at Heart for Him. Sandra is a young pastor's wife and her blog is truly outstanding! Worth a click and a visit.

Related

• "The Superior Wife Syndrome" by Barbara Rainey at FamilyLife's Culture Watch

Photo: anthenmat & LibraryFashionista (Flickr)

What would you add to Elisabeth's list of reasons to be thankful you married a man?

Spiritual Growth: My Testimony of Healing Through Prayer

2009-11-15T20:00:00.000-08:00

Red Stripes

Written by e-Mom. Follow me on Twitter. Subscribe in a Reader

CANCER. I am no longer afraid of that word. Now it’s quite neutral. But it wasn’t that way when I was twenty-seven.

A dozen black phones marched their way along the third floor window wall of Business Spaces By Design, my second interior design job downtown. The handset nearest my workstation was ringing, so I pushed away from my drawing board and stepped across the aisle to the windows to answer. As I reached for the receiver, I looked down to Third Avenue below. I could see an endless ribbon of one-way traffic inching its way south past our tan Italian Revival-style building.

Looking west across the street toward the bay, I could also see Raintree Tower, an aluminum-clad contemporary office building that soars magnificently above pedestrians on its flaring pedestal base. Frequently, I crossed Third Avenue to have lunch in Raintree Square’s four story atrium, and I avoided the traffic by making my way under the street through a winding duct-filled tunnel. I enjoyed sitting at the tables by the railing on the mezzanine level, because right in the middle of the main floor below was a polished grand piano for anyone to play. The strains of music that filled the spacious atrium space often were quite beautiful.

“Hello,” I spoke into the receiver. The nurse from my internist’s office was kind. “I am sorry,” she said. Your pap smear came back from the lab. It is a Class IV. You’ll need to make an appointment with your gynecologist to schedule a conization. The surgery will tell us how far the cancer has penetrated into your cervix.”

I was stunned. Cancer? Me? Was it true? Cancer? And why there? Why not the tip of my nose or the end of my little finger? Anywhere else but there! It was embarrassing to tell people. The results of an office biopsy performed by my OB/GYN a few days later confirmed the bad news. Spelled out quite clearly in the lab report was my diagnosis—carcinoma in situ.

I was on The Pill. Almost newlyweds, e-Dad and I had only been married for four years. We had no children and I was alarmed. What did this mean? Would I need a hysterectomy? Could I die from this?

Suddenly, I felt overwhelmingly isolated. It was as if I was imprisoned in a revolving glass door—I could see and hear people on the other side, but we couldn’t touch. Even though I wasn’t suffering any physical symptoms, for the first time in my life, I knew how people who were seriously ill felt: cut off, profoundly alone, and terrified. I might even have to face an early death.

I began to grieve. It was a revelation. I knew the living grieved for the dying, but I had never known that the sick and dying grieve too. How could I ever say good-by to the people I loved, and to e-Dad?

I scheduled my conization surgery and continued going to work. However, I found myself unable to think very clearly. I aimlessly slid my straight-edge up and down my drawing board and ceaselessly adjusted my black luxo lamp. All I could do was pray.

Luckily, new projects in the office had dwindled to a trickle. The following Monday, the principals of our firm called a meeting. Would all of the architects and designers would be willing to take two weeks off without pay? Yes! I thought. Perfect timing! I knew I could use the free time to strengthen my faith for healing, and to ask others to pray for me too.

Later, as I was pacing around our small ground floor apartment, I caught my reflection in our hall mirror. Looking into my own eyes, I asked myself the question, “Will I be healed?” From somewhere faraway inside me came the reassuring reply: “I have heard your prayer.” Immediately, my fears began to subside, and my faith began to grow.

The elders and my friends prayed for me at church, and we continued to pray at home. Even my gynecologist, who was a Christian believer, took my hand and prayed a simple prayer with me in his examining room.

“I have heard your prayer.” Immediately, my fears began to subside, and my faith began
to grow.

The night before my surgery, while I was lying in bed, I was reminded of a Bible verse which says, “By his stripes, you have been healed.” (I Pet 2:24) The verse is in reference to the thirty-nine lashings Christ received prior to his crucifixion. So I began to repeat the verse over and over, as a kind of meditation.

At the same time, I started to imagine Christ’s painful ordeal: one lashing, ow. Two lashings, ah. Three lashings, ugh. Four, five, six, and on I went until my mind’s eye was completely filled with the vision of Christ’s red, bleeding back. Suddenly, I felt a painful burning sensation deep inside my pelvis. I was alarmed, but an inner voice urged me to continue praying in this way. Still feeling pain, I carried on with my prayer while continuing to imagine Christ’s horrific scourging—thirty-two, thirty-three, thirty-four, all the way to thirty-nine lashings. Eventually, the burning sensation in my pelvis subsided. As I drifted off to sleep, I was convinced I had been touched by God in a special way.

Around noon the next day, the hospital staff wheeled me into post-op after my surgery. My gynecologist approached my gurney, wrapped me in a heated blanket, and gave me a sweet smile. “We couldn’t find any cancer,” he said with tenderness in his voice. “We took a small biopsy which we’ll send to the lab for confirmation. We’ll know for sure in a day or two.” No cancer? I was humbled. And deeply grateful. Indeed, a few days later, the lab report came back with those four wonderful words: "no evidence of malignancy." I had been miraculously healed.

What does one do with one’s life after an experience like that? How was I to live after facing a serious illness, potentially the loss of my ability to bear children, and possibly even death? And how could I avoid a re-occurrence? What had caused the cancer in the first place?

First, I knew I needed to rededicate myself to a life of loving service to God. “The things you have learned and received and heard and seen in Me, practice these things; and the God of peace shall be with you.” (Phil. 4:9) This was the verse that spoke to me from my study of Scripture. I had been given the gift of life, and I wanted to give it back to Him.

Also, I immediately stopped taking birth control pills, because I suspected there might be a link between the hormones and my cancer. Later, I read that statistics indicate that half of all women whose fathers had died or deserted their families suffer cervical dysplasia or cancer. That certainly rang true for me.

Finally, I began to study nutrition. I learned that there were many foods such as cruciferous vegetables like broccoli and cauliflower, and unrefined whole grains that contained cancer preventing compounds. Also, I began to exercise regularly and take multivitamin and mineral supplements. Soon I felt better than ever.

I feel extremely blessed. I’ve been cancer-free now for over twenty-five years—and I now have two grown children! I give God all the credit, and I am grateful for those who prayed for me at a critical time in my life.

Related

This article was first posted at my other blog, Chrysalis Press. You may be interested to read the discussion in the comment box there. For additional encouragement from a miraculous cancer survivor, please visit this post "Victory in the Word" at Spiritually Unequal Marriage.

Note: If you are ill, be sure you seek competent, professional medical treatment. Also, request the prayers of your church elders or pastor.

Is any one of you sick? He should call the elders of the church to pray over him and anoint him with oil in the name of the Lord. (James 5:14 NIV)

Photo: Chris Campbell & zen (Flickr)

Do you believe in the power of prayer for healing?

Arts & Culture: Saturday PhotoHunt

2009-11-12T21:00:00.000-08:00

Today's Theme: Music

Written by e-Mom. Follow me on Twitter. Subscribe in a Reader

“Sing to Him a new song; Play skillfully with a shout of joy.” (Psalm 33:3)

How to join the Saturday PhotoHunters. Photo: Raul (Flickr)

Up Next—My Testimony of Healing Through Prayer

Do you sing or play an instrument?

Photos: Raul (Flickr)

In the Spotlight: Owlhaven's Mary Ostyn

2009-11-10T19:00:00.000-08:00

Meet One Very Hip Christian Mama

Written by e-Mom. Follow me on Twitter. Subscribe in a Reader

Ever wanted to visit the Big Apple? What’s life really like for people sporting T-shirts bearing the letters I♥NY?

I remember jostling down the crowded sidewalks of New York City. We explored every inch of the Metropolitan Museum of Art, gorged on fresh pasta and imported tomatoes in Little Italy, and purchased discount tickets at the Broadway show kiosk in Times Square.

Two weeks ago, my blogging friend Mary Ostyn from Nampa, Idaho joined the long parade of visitors to “The City.” Mama Mary blogs about her ten kids from three countries, her awesome hubby, her “big ol' garden,” and her busy homeschool at her hugely popular blog, Owlhaven. You can read all about Mary's NY trip adventures here and here.

Mary Ostyn on TV!

Site-seeing (and shopping) around New York were actually secondary for Mary during her recent trip. That's because this lucky lady scored an invitation to tape a cooking demo show with Parents.tv to promote her new book, Family Feasts for $75 a Week. Affiliated with Parents magazine and Family Circle magazine, the show will air some time in late November or early December. For all you "foodies," Mary prepared Blueberry French Toast Strata. Mary was candid about the taping session:

“Anne had a teleprompter for her intro, and totally made me comfortable by flubbing her lines the first two times she attempted them. So when I immediately flubbed my first sentence, I knew it was no big deal that we had to start over AGAIN. Finally, she and I both settled down and managed the rest of the segment coherently. She asked me a bit about the book and about my family. We talked about the two already-made dishes [chicken broccoli enchiladas and Thai wraps]. Then we made the blueberry strata. Somehow the words just flowed and I made it through.”

Family Feasts for $75 a Week

Mary’s new book, Family Feasts for $75 a Week: A Penny-wise Mom Shares Her Recipe for Cutting Hundreds from Your Monthly Food Bill is stuffed to the gills with her expert, in-the-trenches tips on savvy food shopping. And she should know. Mary prepares three meals a day for her family of 12 for about $900 a month. Even if your family is 1/3 that size, in these recessionary times we can all use as much help as we can get!

Mary’s book includes 200 recipes, and her real-world advice teaches real-world families how to save in more ways than one. You can purchase Family Feasts for $75 a Week and her first book A Sane Woman’s Guide to Raising a Large Family online at amazon.com.

Susannah’s Aprons on TV too!

Check out the trendy vintage apron Mary is wearing in these photos. That’s Blue Bubbles, a popular style available at my new site Susannah’s {Kitchen} Aprons. Mary bought her apron through my online store, and was kind enough to email these photos. Doesn’t she look perky and professional?

By the way, my new site Susannah’s Aprons is inspired by Susannah Wesley, the mother of ten children, including the famous evangelists John and Charles Wesley. Susannah's reputation as a woman of prayer is legendary. Historians tell us that while cooking, she often flipped her apron over her head. Hidden beneath her cotton tent, Susannah offered her spontaneous prayers to God.

What are you waiting for? Tie up your style like Mary did! Click here more information (or simply click on the aprons below) and take advantage of my SALE prices. Check out is fast and easy.

Related: A HalfHourMeals Interview with e-Mom

Photos: Owlhaven

Up Next—Saturday Photo Hunt

How do you keep your family's food budget under control?

25 Reasons Why Marriage is the Right Choice...

2009-11-08T21:00:00.000-08:00

And Cohabitation is a Bad Idea

Written by e-Mom. Follow me on Twitter. Subscribe in a Reader

Did you know that cohabiting couples now make up almost 10% of all opposite-sex U.S. couples, married and unmarried? According to Dr. Albert Mohler,

“The U.S. Census Bureau has just reported that cohabitation among heterosexual couples has hit record numbers as living together—as opposed to getting married—becomes more and more mainstream.”

Says Mohler, “Just thirty years ago cohabitation was rare and marriage was the norm for heterosexual couples. All that has seemingly changed.”

Dr. Mohler continues, “USA Today provides extensive reporting on this issue, along with analysis that seems to celebrate this development.”

“Nevertheless,” says Mohler, “the other side of the story was downplayed. If cohabitating couples make up ‘almost 10%’ of heterosexual couples, then marriage is still very much the norm.”

Quotes from “Part of the Life Course? Cohabitation in Contemporary America.”

How is Marriage Defined Biblically?

Mohler’s observation is important and encouraging. Marriage is still very much the norm, yet even Christians can be confused by society’s trend toward cohabitation. Recently, Kim at Scattered Stones posed the question "How is Marriage Defined?" For instance, does a couple’s private commitment to each other constitute a marriage?

Intended to shed the light of Truth on this issue (not to judge or condemn) my answer is as follows...

25 Reasons Why Marriage is the Right Choice and Cohabitation is a Bad Idea

1. Marriage is which is an honorable state, instituted by God in the time of man's innocence prior to the Fall.

2. Marriage is about human happiness, holiness, and wholeness—and it is also about bringing glory to God.

3. Marriage is a deeply Christian institution. It is a necessary metaphor that signifies a "mystical union" between Christ and the Church.

4. Marriage as an institution was affirmed by Jesus when he performed his first miracle at a wedding in Cana.

5. Marriage is a public verbal commitment to each other
for life. (In OT times, it was a couple's engagement that was public and binding.)

6. Marriage stands opposed to our modern divorce culture which explains away sacred promises as temporary statements of emotional disposition.

7. Marriage provides a husband with a wife to help him deal with life’s inevitable ups and downs—through prosperity and poverty, sickness and health.

8. Marriage provides sociable companionship for a husband and wife throughout their lives.

9. Marriage was intended to be a blood covenant between two virgins, a male and a female.

10. Married couples promise sexual faithfulness to each other.

11. Marriage understands the connection between sexual intimacy and the potential for offspring.

12. Marriage gives couples the freedom to receive children joyfully as God-given gifts.

13. Marriage provides material provision and emotional security for mothers and their children when fathers fulfill their role as bread-winner.

14. Marriage is counter-cultural, and Christian couples must stand firmly against the tide of public opinion rife with sexual immorality and confusion.

15. Married couples who have lived together before their marriage have weaker marriages.

16. Statistically, the chances of a divorce after living together are much higher than for couples who have not lived together prior to marriage.

17. Couples who cohabit will never know what married life is really like until they are married.

18. The commitment of living together is like a month-to-month rental agreement. (As long as you behave yourself and keep me happy, I'll stick around.)

19. Couples that live together before marriage get into the habit of following their month-to-month rental agreement.

20. In fact, they often decide to marry, not because they are willing to make a lifetime commitment to each other, but because the arrangement has worked out so well that they can't imagine breaking their lease—so to speak.

21. Couples who have not lived together before marriage, on the other hand, have not lived under the terms of the month-to-month rental agreement.

22. They begin their relationship assuming that they are in this thing called marriage for life, and all their habits usually reflect that commitment.

23. Those who have lived together develop habits that work only when they're not married. Marriage ruins it all, and they end up divorcing.

24. Scripturally, couples who are having sex outside of marriage are in sin. The Bible calls them fornicators (unmarried) or adulterers (married to someone else).

25. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness (1 John 1:9).

I'm indebted to CBMW's article, "Marriage and the Glory of God" and Dr. Willard Harley's article, "Living Together Before Marriage" for the information above.

Related

• "The Case for Early Marriage" by CT. "Amid our purity pledges and attempts to make chastity hip, we forgot to teach young Christians how to tie the knot."

• "Church Combats Cohabitation with Free Weddings" by FamilyLife's blog, CultureWatch. A new ministry for a new era!

Photos: wonderlane, StudioNouveau (Flickr) More photos from this very cute wedding shot by StudioNouveau.

Up Next—In the Spotlight: Owl Haven's Mary Ostyn

What do you think? Should a cohabiting couple be allowed to minister officially in the church? Why or why not?

Humor: My New Diet Plan

2009-11-05T21:00:00.000-08:00

How I Spent my Autumn Vacation
Written by e-Mom. Follow me on Twitter. Subscribe in a Reader

Anyone feeling fat? Meeeee toooo. During our anniversary vacation last week, we put on 2000 road miles exploring southern California in a rental car. That’s like driving from Seattle to San Diego and back. Now that we’re empty nesters, we’re in search of the perfect coastal community for working and living.

That’s a lot of sitting! We tried to eat light (and right) by sticking mostly to drive-through chicken Caesar salads, but I’m sure we both gained a few pounds. Here’s the new diet plan we’re trying to implement.

Breakfast

1 grapefruit
1 slice whole wheat toast
1 cup skim milk

Lunch

1 small portion lean, steamed chicken
1 cup spinach
1 cup herbal tea
1 Hershey's kiss

Afternoon Tea

The rest of the Hershey Kisses in the bag
1 tub of Hagen-Daaz ice cream with chocolate chips

Dinner

2 loaves garlic bread
1 family size supreme pizza
3 Snickers Bars

Late Night Snack

1 whole Sarah Lee cheesecake (eaten directly from the freezer)

Remember: Stressed spelled backward is desserts!

Via my dear bloggy friend Susan at Forever His. For more Friday Funnies join Kim at Homesteaders Heart.

Related

• Weight Loss Made Easy (Cartoon)
• Family Feasts for $75 a Week by Owlhaven's
Mary Ostyn

Photos: PatrickQ2 (Flickr)

Up Next—25 Reasons Why Living Together Before Marriage is Bad Idea

What's your current healthy eating plan?

Bible: Jesus' Cursing of the Fig Tree in Mark

2009-11-03T20:15:00.001-08:00

A "Sandwich" With Significance
Written by e-Mom. Follow me on Twitter. Subscribe in a Reader

A chiasm is a literary device used in Scripture which is similar to Hebrew parallelism except that the lines are inverted. Named after the Greek letter “chi” (X), a chiasm forms an “X” pattern, with the most important thought embedded or "sandwiched" between two or more supporting phases. Parallel phrases are first introduced in order (A B) and then again in reverse order (B’ A’) to frame an important central point (X).

A classic example of the latter is found in 1 John 3:9.
What is the key point?

A whoever is born of God
___B does not sin
______X for his seed remains in him
___B’ and he cannot sin
A’ because he has been born of God

The Markan Sandwich

Some scholars describe the Gospel of Mark—the shortest of the four—as simple or naïve. However, other scholars recognize the complexity of Mark's work; in his story telling, Mark used the chiasm as a literary device more than nine times. The Gospel writer skillfully employs chiasms to sharpen his narrative. Where two seemingly unrelated and separate events appear, Mark has actually combined them deliberately to make a theological point.

Cleansing the Temple

The most significant example in Mark’s Gospel is the way he sandwiched Jesus' cleansing of the Temple (Mk 11:15-19) between his cursing of the fig tree and its’ subsequent withering (vv. 12-14 and 20-25). This chiasm reveals that Mark was strongly interested in associating these events in the minds of his readers.

An interpretation of the complete passage in Mark 11 from verse 11 through verse 25 is as follows: Just as the fig tree (a well-known symbol for Israel) was judged for not bearing fruit, so also the Temple (representing official Judaism) was cleansed and judged for not bearing the fruit of faithful worship. With this chiasm, Mark reveals that Jesus’ clearing of the Temple accomplished more than a purging of thieves and robbers. It was a prophetic act signifying Jesus’ unique christological authority to bring judgment upon the Temple and the nation.

Got Questions?

You may be interested in exploring these verses in greater depth. I often refer to GotQuestions.org’s website when I’m stumped with a Bible question. It’s easy to search and generally “spot on” theologically.

For instance, their article “Why Did Jesus Curse the Fig Tree” explains why Jesus and His disciples would be looking for fruit on the fig tree even if it was not in the main growing season. The article also discusses Israel’s spiritual deadness, despite all her sacrifices and ceremonies. The article warns that we must be mindful that God judges fruitlessness, and He expects that those who have a relationship with Him will “bear much fruit.”

Got Book?

GotQuestions.org has just published a new book, Got Questions? Bible Questions Answered. This 720-page volume by editor S. Michael Houdmann, offers “Answers to the Questions People Are Really Asking.” It comes with a general index and a topical index. The paperback version is available for $21.11 and appears to be chock full of good things. Check it out!

Related

1. Bible Study: The Markan Sandwich
2. Bible Study: The Chiasm of Noah’s Flood

Photos: MortGuffman & starrynight1 (Flickr)

Up Next—Humor: My New Diet Plan

Do you understand the literary function of
a chiasm?

Welcome to Marriage Monday

2009-11-01T22:00:00.000-08:00

A Love Letter to My Husband
Written by e-Mom. Follow me on Twitter. Subscribe in a Reader

Welcome to Marriage Monday! Today's topic is "A Love Letter to My Husband." Today we have the opportunity to express our postive good feelings about our spouses—and to let the world know!

Now, don't be shy y'hear?

I'll bet your sweetie will be honored and delighted when he reads your blog today. I can't wait to read your post too. In case you missed it, here's an introduction to this topic.

Please scroll down or click here if you want to read my personal entry.

Next Month's Meeting Date

Our holiday schedules are filling up, so mark your calendar now. We'll meet at Chrysalis once again for Marriage Monday on Nov. 30, 2009. Just short of December by one day, I thought it would be wise to get a jump start before the holiday crush steals our writing time away.

Vote for Our Next Topic

Our general topic next month is "Men & Christmas." You've probably noticed that your spouse approaches the holiday season with a different attitude than you do. Tell us about it. Please vote for your preferred angle/title.

Let’s Connect on Facebook

If you’re a member of the Marriage Monday blogroll, and you would like to connect on Facebook, please accept my invitation to be “friends.” Click on my photo in the sidebar, and I’ll accept your friend request ASAP. Thanks!

Information for Newcomers

You may be brand new to Chrysalis, so let me cover a few of the basics. Generally, we meet the first Monday of every month. Here's your opportunity to share what you've learned about Christian marriage.

Power up your laptop, post your thoughts on today's topic, then come back here and leave your permalink in Mister Linky. I hope you'll take some time to visit a few of the other contributors. Remember to be generous with your comments!

Want this button?

Photo: Koolskatcat (Flickr) Poll: Twiigs

Up Next—Bible Study: Why Did Jesus Curse the Fig Tree?

Are you a hopeless romantic like me?

Relationships: A Love Letter to My Husband

2009-11-01T20:57:00.000-08:00

Song of Songs 5:10-16 (Revised)
Written by e-Mom. Follow me on Twitter. Subscribe in a Reader

My husband, you are bright and handsome,

Outstanding among all the men I know.

Your head is round like a gold krugerrand

your remaining hair is straight

dark brown like bear’s fur.

Your eyes are like points of light

Reflections in streams of water

washed in snow,

mounted above like the Big Dipper.

Your cheeks are forest floors

yielding soft fragrance.

Your lips are like strawberries

dipped in chocolate.

Your arms are branches of cedar

inlaid with pine.

Your body is like the trunk of a mighty oak

decorated with polished cherry.

Your legs are I-beams of cast steel

driven deep into the earth.

Your appearance is like the Grand Canyon

altogether unfathomable.

Your mouth is tart sweetness itself;

Like the first bite of key lime pie.

This is my husband, this is my best friend,

O Christian blogging ladies.

Related

Compare the original Bible verses!

For more Marriage Monday posts on this topic, please scroll up or click here.

Photo: sneknitsone (Flickr)

Marriage Monday is Coming!

2009-10-29T21:00:00.000-07:00

Call for Submissions
Written by e-Mom. Follow me on Twitter. Subscribe in a Reader

Please join us for Marriage Monday on Nov. 2, 2009.
By majority vote this month's topic is, "A Love Letter to My Husband."

Every marriage begins on a high note. We're full of love, and we trust that the days ahead will be full of joy and fulfillment. Early in your relationship, no doubt you received (and sent) a love note or two from your sweetie. When was the last time you scribed a few words of appreciation to your man? Let's recapture some of those romantic good feelings this month.

Our challenge is to write prose, a poem, or even a song that expresses our love and gratitude for the man God gave to us as our life partner. Celebrate your husband in words, and let us share in your excitement! I guarantee you'll have some fun in the process.

Please Bring a Friend

Feel free to copy any part of this announcement and post it on your blog. As always, the more participants we have, the better.

For Newcomers

Our community of Marriage Monday bloggers is a diverse group of joyful, Godly women. We are young, old, seasoned, and newlywed. For the past two years, we've been meeting at Chrysalis the first Monday of every month. Please join us! You definitely don't want to miss out. You'll meet some amazing women, and gain a little of wisdom along the way.

Your entry doesn't need to be fancy, clever, or very long. Just speak from your heart. Once you've posted, come back here and add your permalink to Mister Linky. Then, take a few minutes to visit a few of the other Marriage Monday contributors.

Photo: sonson (Flickr)

Want this button?
Up Next—Marriage Monday: A Love Letter to My Husband

Will you be joining us on Monday?

Let Grandparents Shine at the Holidays

2009-10-18T13:13:00.000-07:00

Three Ways They can Serve As Family
Story Tellers
Written by e-Mom. Follow me on Twitter. Subscribe in a Reader

If your parents are bored, shy, infirm, or inactive during your Thanksgiving get-togethers this post is for you. Or, if you're a Grandma who wastes hours of precious energy every Christmas season searching for perfect gift for each of the grandkids, read on.

Your parents may be the kind who love to "spoil" their grandchildren with trips, gifts, and money, but your parenting values may quietly be at odds with this natural impulse. Perhaps their limited retirement income prevents very much shopping for material things. One of the most important roles you can ask your Mom or Dad to play is that of the Story Keeper.

God graciously gives grandparents a second opportunity to teach important lessons to the next generation. It’s especially meaningful if they were too overwhelmed with life when they were raising you. Encourage your parents to forge special bonds with your children by quietly reading and telling them stories before or after your holiday meals.

Story telling is a powerful way to give children a sense of wonder and understanding of the marvelous world God has designed. Story telling takes lots of time, and your kids will thrive on their grandparents’ attention. Here are three ways your parents can prioritize their role as Story Keeper at Thanksgiving and Christmas gatherings instead of focusing on media or expensive toys.

1. Grandparents Can Build Your Library of Children’s Classics

Help your parents select books online or through bookstores that are proven classics. Best sellers lists, librarians, and other booksellers have lists of award-winning literature that will capture your children’s imaginations and teach spiritual values. This is an incredible opportunity to help your children discover the great stories of the ages. Make sure they autograph each book and include a date, before they wrap them up.

2. Grandparents Can Tell Their Own
Life Stories

Don’t forget your parents have their own library of classics right inside their head! Your children will thrill to the real life adventures of Grandpa as a young man, or Grandma as a little girl. Your parents’ own memories may be jogged during their cosy reading sessions, so encourage them to have a pen and paper handy to jot down notes. Or be ready to record their entertaining anecdotes while they snuggle with your children on the sofa.

3. Grandparents Can Create Living Stories

After your family meal, encourage your parents to take your children on a casual walk to the nearest viewpoint, to walk the dog, or go next door with a plate of cookies. Remind them to share their favorite childhood songs along the way. This is also an excellent time to dream about the next visit with Grandma or Grandpa. With a little forethought and planning "Living Stories" can be created that will become treasured memories for your kids.

Grandparents play a unique role in the lives of children. Let your parents be the Story Keepers in your family. Encourage them to share their journey of faith, and to be open to your young questions about the Jesus Christ. Perhaps they will even have the privilege of leading one of your children to the Lord. Above all, allow them to "spoil" your children with an attitude of wonder—the wonder of God’s world, the wonder of His love and grace, and especially the wonder of his workmanship in their own lives.

"We will not hide them from their children; we will tell the next generation the praiseworthy deeds of the LORD, his power, and the wonders he has done." (Psalm 78:4 NIV)

Awesome Blogging Grandmas

1. Grammy Girlfriend at Teresa's Treasures

2. Susan at Forever His

3. Vicki at Light for the Writer's Soul

4. Jan at Mile High Scribes

Writing Resources

• How to Write Your Autobiography by Chrysalis
• Book: Spiritual Autobiography

If you’re a grandparent, you’ll discover some excellent resources at The Christian Grandparenting Network. This post was adapted from information provided in this article, "Grandparents: The Story Keepers."

FREE Legacy Journal

The Christian Grandparenting Network is offering each family a free fill-in-the-blank journal to record family history information, personal information and thoughts about important topics grandparents want to pass on as a legacy for their grandchildren. This attractive 80 page journal is wire-bound for ease of writing and reading. (An $8.50 value) I received mine; order your FREE copy here.

Join the folks over at the Carnival of Family Life. If you enjoyed this article, Tweet about it!

Photos: NikkiMcLeod, seandreilinger & robbplusjessie (Flickr)

A Wee Blogging Break

This week, e-Dad and I are off to sunny California for a short vacation to celebrate our 31st anniversary. We'll be back in 10 days. Until then... God bless you!

Coming Soon—Bible Study: Why Did Jesus Curse the Fig Tree?

Do you remember your grandparents
reading to you as a child?

Random: Chrysalis & Counting

2009-10-15T09:39:00.000-07:00

One Fish, Two Fish

Written by e-Mom. Follow me on Twitter. Subscribe in a Reader

What's your Dad like? My Dad really enjoyed reading bedtime stories to my sister and me when we were kids. Dr. Seuss is one my father's favorite children's authors.

My Dad is also a math whiz, and a lover of life’s littlest details. You know the kind. He’s the sort of guy who runs random calculations in his head—just for the fun of it. One of his favorite grown-up books is the World Almanac and Book of Facts. He calls it his book of "little known facts of little interest." Funny, eh?

Chrysalis Demographics: Age

In the spirit of my father's "little known facts of little interest" I’m presenting the following data. (Inquiring minds want to know, right?) The results of two recent surveys held on this blog are in. The first? Age. When asked to identify their generation, 32 readers kindly answered:

• 0%.... Silent (1925-1945)
• 34%... Baby Boomers (1946-1964)
• 43%... Gen X, Busters (1965-1980)
• 18%... Gen Y, Next, or Millenials (1981-1995)
• 3%..... Gen Z (1996-2010)

Chrysalis Demographics: Working Moms

The recession has sent a lot of SAHMs back to work. SAHMS are a smaller group in the population to begin with, and I was curious to know the current working status of the Mommy readership here at Chrysalis. This is how 59 generous readers responded:

• 59%... Stay-at-home Mom (29)
• 10%... Work-at-home-Mom (6)
• 15%... Part-time working Mom (9)
• 10%... Full-time working Mom (6)
• 5%... Sole-Bread-winning Mom (3)
• 10%... Other (6)

Thursday Thirteen

More numbers! Some of you are new readers at Chrysalis, and you might not have seen a few of the more popular articles here. If you have an interest (and a spare 30 minutes) take a look at the top 13 most googled and StumbledUpon posts.

1. Beth Moore in the Spotlight

2. Kay Arthur in the Spotlight

3. Beth Moore’s Study Stepping Up

4. Susannah Wesley in the Spotlight

5. Classic Books for Kids

6. Marriage Monday Meme

7. WFW: Flag of Surrender Devo

8. Jewish Feast of Tabernacles

9. 20 Ways to Please Your Lover

10. Marriage Monday: Bathtub Wisdom

11. How to Write Your Autobiography

12. Who Needs Christianity?

13. Why Men Hate Going to Church

For more T-13 links, click here.

COOL Ice Cream Giveaway

One last thing... Crickl at Crickl's Nest is the winner of my $25 Ice Cream Giftcard Giveaway. She's a wonderful PW (pastor's wife) and sudoku-lover living somewhere out there in Arizona's hot Valley of the Sun.

I've decided to throw in an extra bonus to thank Crickl for being such a faithful commenter and blogging friend. How about a new crockpot for your kitchen sweet 'ums? Read about Crickl's work with foreign refugees here.

That.is.all. Thanks for participating in my surveys, and have a wonderful weekend!

Photos: Mattdm, CraftyGoat & Roboppy (Flickr)

Up Next—Let Grandparents Shine at the Holidays

Do you have any reflections on or interpretations of the data?

Spiritual Growth: Oprah's Spirituality

2009-10-13T22:00:00.000-07:00

"O" God follows the conversations of two girl friends, Lindsey and Avatari... who unwittingly place their faith in the hodgepodge of spirituality embedded in her popular TV talk show, magazine and webinars. In the end, a life-altering crisis helps crystallize the truth from counterfeit teachings.

Book Review by WorldNet Daily

Posted by e-Mom. Follow me on Twitter. Subscribe in a Reader

"'O' God: A Dialogue on Truth and Oprah's Spirituality provides an in-depth look at the controversial spiritual beliefs of one of the greatest media influences of all time: Oprah.

Between The Oprah Winfrey Show, O Magazine and her national webinars on faith, millions are being exposed to Oprah's splintered beliefs. As many exit the doors of traditional religion, the church of Oprah has become a viable alternative to a world looking for a savior—but without the strings. Christians and those of other faiths are asking the nagging question: “Where do Oprah’s teachings lead?” In "O" God, mega-bestselling Christian author and evangelist Josh McDowell teams up with Dave Sterrett, a gifted writer and popular speaker. Together, they provide a cutting-edge response to popular inquiries about Oprah's spiritual teaching and the advice of the colorful teachers she promotes.

...while appearing to use Christian and inclusive language that at first seems similar to that of Christianity, Oprah teaches a message that is radically different and absolutely contrary to the true teaching of Scripture...

'The danger is that while appearing to use Christian and inclusive language that at first seems similar to that of Christianity, Oprah teaches a message that is radically different and absolutely contrary to the true teaching of Scripture and historic Christianity,' McDowell and Sterrett warn." Read the rest of this important review at WorldNet Daily.

"0" God Offers Answers to Pressing Questions

1. Are there many ways to reach God, as Oprah teaches?
2. Who was the real historical Jesus?
3. Why would I worship the God of the Bible when he is described as jealous?
4. Is it okay for a Christian to embrace other forms of spirituality?
5. Do we have the potential to discover that we are indeed God or the Supreme Being?

Related Articles

• Oprah or Jesus: Who's Right?
• The Gospel According to Oprah

Photos: Nayrb7 (Flickr)

Up Next—Survey Results & Thursday Thirteen

Can you think of someone who would benefit from reading this book?

Relationships: Caring for Ministry Wives

2009-10-11T22:00:00.000-07:00

25 Ways to Bless the Lady Who Loves
Written by e-Mom. Follow me on Twitter. Subscribe in a Reader

1. Ask for her specific prayer requests.

2. Take up a special cash offering just for her.

3. Send her a musical e-card of encouragement.

4. Celebrate her birthday with a special cupcake dessert.

5. Take over a casserole when her children are ill.

6. Buy her a nostalgic vintage apron.

7. Offer her free childcare.

8. Give her a gift certificate for a facial.

9. Invite her to go for an evening walk or run.

10. Pay her way to a Christian music concert.

11. Buy her some beautiful stationary and a book of stamps.

12. Buy her a giftcard from your favorite ice cream seller.

13. Offer to accompany her to a veterinary appointment.

14. Pull some weeds or rake some leaves in her garden.

15. Pay for a manicure, pedicure, or hair coloring session.

16. Take her shopping to buy her a pair of shoes.

17. Offer to pay for new throw pillows for her sofa.

18. Send her one dozen chocolate-dipped strawberries.

19. Offer to buy her Family Feasts for $75 a Week.

20. Buy her a new DVD.

21. Buy her a new crockpot.

22. Help her choose a color and paint a bedroom.

23. Help her to clean a bathroom.

24. Take a package to the post office for her.

25. Buy her a bouquet of autumn flowers.

National Clergy Appreciation Month

October is National Clergy Appreciation month each year. Some churches celebrate Clergy Appreciation Day on the second Sunday of the month (October 11, 2009). Since spouses play such a vital role in ministry, I believe we should honor pastor's and missionary wives as well.

COOL Ice Cream Giveaway

Hey ladies! Today, I have a $25.00 Giftcard from Cold Stone Creamery waiting to be snail-mailed to one special random reader.

If you're a ministry wife (pastorate, arts ministry, missionary etc.) just say, "Ice Cream please" in the comment box and I'll add your name to my drawing. Thank you for your faithful service to the body of Christ.

The winner will be announced on Friday, October 16, 2009.

Photos: AaronLandry & Pumpkin Pie Ice Cream by Roboppy (Flickr)

Up Next—Book Review: "O" God: A Dialogue on Truth & Oprah's Spirituality

Can you think of other ideas to add to
this list?

Humor: Friday Funnies

2009-10-08T21:00:00.000-07:00

Holy Land Burial
Written by e-Mom. Follow me on Twitter. Subscribe in a Reader

A man and his ever-nagging wife went on vacation to Jerusalem. While they were there, the wife passed away.

The undertaker told the husband, "You can have her shipped home for $5,000, or you can bury her here, in the Holy Land, for $150."

The man thought about it and told him he would just have her shipped home.

The undertaker asked, "Why would you spend $5,000 to ship your wife home, when it would be wonderful to be buried here and you would only spend $150?"

The man replied, "Long ago a man died here, was buried here, and three days later he rose from the dead. I just can't take that chance."

More Great Laughs

• Four Good Reasons Why You Shouldn't Mess With Children

• Join Kim at Homesteader's Heart for her popular Friday Funnies meme.

Photo: Templar1307 (Flickr)

Up Next—Relationships: Caring For Ministry Wives

Smilin' darlin'? So what are you up to this weekend?

Word-Filled Wednesday: 1 Sam 15:3

2009-10-06T15:14:00.000-07:00

This is what the Lord Almighty says...
'Now go and strike Amalek and devote to destruction all that they have. Do not spare them, but kill both man and woman, child and infant, ox and sheep, camel and donkey.'
(1 Samuel 15:3)

Word-Filled-Wednesday is run by the lovely Amydeanne at The 160 Acre Woods. This week, please join us for God's Word at PennyRaine.com

Reflection: Understanding Difficult Bible Passages
Written by e-Mom. Follow me on Twitter. Subscribe in a Reader

My friend, Buffy is a an intelligent English woman blogging “across the pond” at Buffy’s Salon. She writes about many topics of interest to Christian women including beauty, Bible, books, children, culture, health, lifestyle, manhood, nostalgia, philosophical, science, spirituality, travel, and womanhood. Go visit!

Chapter & Worse

Recently, Buffy blogged about a discussion going on at Ship of Fools, a Christian website whose mission is "to help Christians be self-critical and honest about the failings of Christianity, as we believe honesty can only strengthen faith."

Buffy writes, “they invited readers to nominate and then vote for the verses in the Bible that they found difficult to swallow. They then published the top (or should that be bottom?) ten verses. The results say as much about modern society as they do about the vagaries of the Bible.”

In second place came 1 Sam 15:3 where the Lord via the prophet Samuel, instructs King Saul to carry out a full-scale ethnic cleansing: "This is what the Lord Almighty says... 'Now go and strike Amalek and devote to destruction all that they have. Do not spare them, but kill both man and woman, child and infant, ox and sheep, camel and donkey.'" (1 Samuel 15:3)

Buffy says, “It seems like a rather disappointing elucidation of what the Lord did and didn't mean by, ‘Love your neighbour as yourself.’”

Can We Practice “Holy War?”

In this post, I’d like to address this difficult subject of biblical ethnic cleansing (herem). How do we reconcile our concept of God as an all-loving spiritual being, with his direct command to carry out such full-scale violence against an entire people group?

In their (straightforward, easy to read) book, Encountering the Old Testament: A Christian Survey Bill T. Arnold and Bryan E. Beyer shed some light on this issue:

“The book of Joshua records Israel’s conquest of Canaan. God commanded his people to destroy Canaan’s citizens, sparing no one. How can Christians deal with such passages of Scripture? Does the Bible encourage us to practice “holy war?”

Regarding Israel’s conquest of Canaan, we need to remember the following points:

1. The people of Canaan were exceedingly wicked, and their social and religious customs angered the Lord
(Lv 18:24-30).

2. God had given them time to repent, but they had not done so (Gn 15:13-16).

3. God used the Israelites as his instruments of judgment against the people of Canaan (Jos 11:18-20), just as he later used the Assyrians and Babylonians to judge Israel and Judah (2 Kgs 17:6-7; 24:20-25:7).

4. “Holy war” (or the practice of herem) occurred only at certain times during Israel’s history (1 Sm 15:1-3;
2 Chr 20:15-23), and we should not view it as a pattern for future generations.

Israel’s destruction of the Canaanites demonstrates how seriously God takes sin. He governs the nations, and he can and will judge those who oppose him. Christians should heed his warnings in their nation. We dare not assume God will tolerate evil forever.”

In the conclusion to her post, Chapter & Worse Buffy asks a pertinent question, which bears repeating (below).

Photos: purplemattfish (Flickr) & prophecystudy.com (Google Images)

Up Next—Humor: Friday Funnies

So what's your view? Do we have to admit that there are a few "unacceptable" verses in the Bible?

Welcome to Marriage Monday

2009-10-04T21:00:00.000-07:00

Extreme Makeover
Written by e-Mom. Follow me on Twitter. Subscribe in a Reader.

Welcome to Marriage Monday! Today's topic is "Extreme Makeover: How God Renewed Our Marriage Against All the Odds." Today we get to share our wonderful stories of growth. I'm excited to read how God has transformed your relationship to give you a brand new outlook on your life together.

In case you need them, here are a few suggestions to help you write about this topic.

Please scroll down or click here if you want to read my personal entry.

Marriage Monday in November

Mark your calendar now! We'll meet at Chrysalis for Marriage Monday once again on Monday Nov. 2, 2009.
(Is it really autumn already?)

Please Vote for Our Next Topic

Our general topic next month is "Romance in Marriage." Sounds like fun, doesn't it? Please vote for your preferred angle/title.

Let’s Connect on Facebook

If you’re a member of the Marriage Monday blogroll, and you would like to connect on Facebook, please accept my invitation to be “friends.” Search for “e-Mom Chrysalis” and I’ll accept your friend request ASAP. Thanks!

Information for Newcomers

You may be brand new to Chrysalis, so let me cover a few of the basics. Generally, we meet the first Monday of every month. Here's your opportunity to jump in and share what you've learned about Christian marriage.

Power up your laptop, post your thoughts on today's topic, then come back here and leave your permalink in Mister Linky. I hope you'll take some time to visit a few of the other contributors. Remember to be generous with your comments!

Photo: jordansmall (Flickr)

Want this button?

Up Next—Word-Filled-Wednesday

Was this a difficult subject to write about?

Relationships: Extreme Makeover

2009-10-04T20:00:00.001-07:00

How God Renewed Our Marriage
Against All the Odds
Written by e-Mom. Follow me on Twitter. Subscribe in a Reader

God works in mysterious ways. I found His Needs Her Needs without really looking for it—the result of one of those synchronous events I was becoming alert to. Some people would call it a "God Thing."

On the surface, I was doing what I always did on Fridays: filling up my shopping cart with groceries. Pushing my way through our local Costco warehouse store, I carefully worked down my shopping list, trying very hard to maximize the few dollars we had budgeted to feed our household of five.

At the same time, I was aware that my spirit was ultra-sensitive that day, perhaps awakened by the worship music I’d been listening to in the car. At the back of my mind, behind my careful mental calculations, a wordless question kept its vigil: "How can I find happiness in my marriage?"

It was the early nineties. My husband of fifteen years was incommunicative, tense, and distant. That fall, his computer hardware business had failed. Low cost PCs were beginning to flood the market, and e-Dad’s clients were no longer interested in purchasing his larger, more expensive machines. In the ensuing months, e-Dad was unable to find comparable employment, and our marriage was really suffering.

I knew that we were weakened as a couple, even before our business floundered. Running a small enterprise in our home had its own unique stresses. The phone was constantly ringing in the kitchen, and the fax machine on the counter ground out reams of paper in the midst of my cooking. At times—I’ll admit—I really wished e-Dad would get out of the house and find a "real job" away from the "nest" I was trying to feather. He had tried, but he couldn't find a "real job" in the down economy.

My husband’s income slowed to a trickle and the bills kept mounting. While raising our children, I was also doing my best to bring in part-time income where I could. We took in a student boarder, and drawing on my Fine Arts background, I started a neighborhood Arts & Crafts program in our basement.
e-Dad handled the massive juggling act of keeping our major bills paid, and my earnings paid the food bill and bought all of our clothing (which I purchased on sale days in thrift stores).

Many days I felt alone, exhausted, and terrified. While I juggled the demands of the children, the housework, and my part-time jobs, e-Dad worked until after midnight every week night and usually all weekend too. He was unable to do much to help around the house, and romance and intimacy were nearly non-existent. Most of the time, e-Dad was worn out and he couldn’t bear to hear me express my feelings of desperation. He was simply too exhausted.

What had happened to all our dreams? Where had my super-social Psych-major college sweetheart and best friend gone? After fifteen years of marriage, how had we ended up so estranged from each other?

It was against this backdrop then, that I found myself pulled in the direction of the book display that memorable Friday in Costco. Suddenly, I became aware of the wordless question keeping vigil in my unconscious mind. "How can I find happiness in my marriage?"

Almost simultaneously, my eyes fell upon a copy of His Needs Her Needs by Willard Harley, Ph.D. Later, as I devoured the book in the warehouse parking lot, I was awed by the simplicity, yet profundity of Dr. Harley’s insights. "How could I have missed this?" I wondered. Men and women are supposed to be different! I still marvel at the mystery and blessing that gave me the book that day—it was a Divine gift of Love.

We are supposed to be different. Our psychologies are different because wives need their husbands to solve problems rationally in times of crisis. I soon began to understand that my husband’s non-existent emotional intelligence (EQ) was only temporary. I realized that his over-preoccupation with work was a good thing, and I began to thank him for working so hard.

The second thing I began to grasp was that e-Dad truly did want my happiness. He was expressing his love—not with tender words or bouquets of flowers—but by faithfully trying to earn a living. I also learned the wisdom of asking directly the small things. Instead of hoping e-Dad would offer his love and affection, I learned to politely "cue" him.

For instance, we live in the coffee capital of the country, and I truly love my java (French Roast, thanks). Often, when he went out to meetings, I asked e-Dad buy me a "single short extra-foamy cafe latte" on the way home—which he was always delighted to do. When he came through the door with a hot fragrant cup, I learned to thank him profusely for his thoughtfulness.

Now, whenever our relationship seems tense, I ask him nicely to please-go-get-me-a-latte. e-Dad always feels like a hero, and the smile on my face really warms up the atmosphere between us.

Another very important thing that I learned during that period is that it was hard for e-Dad to sympathize with my complaints because it made him feel like he was failing me. I had no idea he took so much responsibility for my happiness! This also explained why he instinctively offered his advice or tried to solve my problems, when all I really wanted was to explore my feelings. Rather than being hurt and annoyed when he couldn’t listen to me "vent," I learned to appreciate that he feels personally responsible when I am hurting.

(Now after a few years of practice, e-Dad does a terrific job of listening quietly. He's learned how to give me the sympathy and understanding that every woman craves in times of stress.)

Shortly after e-Dad found a new job, we went hiking in the dense rain forests of the Pacific Northwest (USA) near our home. After reflecting on what we were learning about each other and how encouraged we felt,
e-Dad bent down and drew a line across the dirt trail in front of us. "Let’s commit to a new beginning," he said. "Let’s leave our old marriage behind and leap forward into a brighter, better future." So we linked arms and jumped over that dirt line together.

As time went on, our financial situation improved. Eventually it returned to normal. But our relationship never did return to its pre-crisis state. We learned so many key lessons during that period, that we were catapulted to a vastly superior level of marital happiness. Needless to say, I’m thankful we not only stayed together, but grew stronger through the hardest, most challenging period of our 31-year marriage. (Our anniversary is this month!)

e-Dad and I experienced an extreme makeover. We’re so thankful God renewed our marriage against all the odds.

For more Marriage Monday posts, please scroll up or click here.

Related

1. Help! I Married an Entrepreneur (Part 1)

2. Help! I Married an Entrepreneur (Part 2)

Photos: (1) bsimser (2) joshbousel (4) logicalrealist (Flickr); (3 & 5) e-Mom & e-Dad

Up Next—Word-Filled-Wednesday

When was the most challenging period of your marriage?

Marriage Monday is Coming!

2009-10-01T12:34:00.000-07:00

Call for Submissions

Posted by e-Mom. Follow me on Twitter. Subscribe in a Reader

On Monday Oct. 5 2009 please join us for Marriage Monday. By majority vote this month's topic is, "Extreme Makeover: How God Renewed Our Marriage Against All the Odds."

Every marriage goes through rough patches—and some are severe—but the good news is God's Word is completely adequate to help us through. (2 Tim 3:16 NIV) Here are a few ideas to consider as you write your post:

• Tell us which Scripture verses spoke the loudest when your marriage was under seige.

• If God brought a you special friend or prayer partner please share how they helped you.

• Was there a Godly book that a pastor or counselor or pastor recommended?

Suffice to say, whatever was instrumental in helping your marriage survive, please tell us about it! Let's give hope to other Mom bloggers who may be in the midst of fierce marriage challenges.

For Newcomers

Our community of Marriage Monday bloggers is a diverse group of joyful, Godly women. We are young, old, seasoned, and newlywed. For the past two years, we've been meeting at Chrysalis the first Monday of every month. You definitely don't want to miss out! I guarantee you'll meet some amazing women, and gain a little of wisdom along the way.

Your entry doesn't need to be fancy, clever, or very long. Just speak from your heart. Once you've posted, come back here and add your permalink to Mister Linky. Then, take a few minutes to visit a few of the other contributors.

Please Bring a Friend!

Feel free to copy any part of this announcement and post it on your blog. As always, the more participants we have, the better.

Want this button?

Today's Treat: A Guest Blogger

I've asked our dear sister and Marriage Monday contributor, Susan Amato to share a few thoughts to get us warmed us up for Monday. Married to Rick for a whopping 31 years, I encourage you to take Susan's timeless counsel to heart. (Aren't they a handsome couple in the photo above?)

Please Welcome Susan Amato

Greetings from Forever His! e-Mom asked me to write a guest post for Marriage Monday, which is coming up on October 5th. What a privilege this is for me to participate seeing how blessed, encouraged and instructed I’ve been by e-Mom’s posts myself. She truly shares a wealth of insight and wisdom for all of us at Chrysalis.

The question that I was asked to write about was, "What Scriptures have helped carry you through the most difficult seasons of your marriage?"

Now I first want to make it clear, I am by far no expert on marriage! Even after being married for 31 years, we are still learning each day what it takes to live out the example Christ has given us in His Word.

Marriage holds both the greatest potential for hurt and the best environment for healing and grace! So the scripture that has really been the anchor for our marriage is found in 1 Cor 13:4-7. (I'll be using the message translation).

If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don't love, I've gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I'm bankrupt without love.

• Love never gives up.
• Love cares more for others than for self.
• Love doesn't want what it doesn't have.
• Love doesn't strut,
• Doesn't have a swelled head,
• Doesn't force itself on others,
• Isn't always "me first,"
• Doesn't fly off the handle,
• Doesn't keep score of the sins of others,
• Doesn't revel when others grovel,
• Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
• Puts up with anything,
• Trusts God always,
• Always looks for the best,
• Never looks back,
• But keeps going to the end

What I see throughout these verses is the Holy Spirit calling out for us to put the other person's needs ahead of our own. Even though this is no easy task, at the same time we are to offer room for failure and always hold out the free gift of forgiveness. This really is “Love in Action” and what I believe it takes for any marriage to make it through the tough times.

Rick and I celebrated our 31st anniversary this past August. We are the parents of 5 sons, and now grandparents of 3 beautiful granddaughters and one grandson. After all these years, there is still no one in the world I would rather spend my time with as I see our love for one another continue to grow daily.

I once read a quote by Joe Beam about marriage that is simple yet so poignant. He wrote…

"No matter what has happened in the past, your relationship can have a great future."

Life can be very difficult at times and our marriages will be tested. With Jesus as the foundation, you can always find a way through any challenge. All you need is a willing heart.

Thank you Susan! Susan is overflowing with joy, a faithful minister of the Truth, and a mature woman of God. Be sure visit Susan's blog, Forever His to get acquainted with this delightful sister and her large, loving family.

Photos: Forever His

Up Next—Extreme Makeover: How God Renewed Our Marriage Against All the Odds

Will you be joining us on Monday?

Practical Life: Homemaking

2009-09-29T22:43:00.000-07:00

Interview with a Vintage Apron-Lover
Written by e-Mom. Follow me on Twitter. Subscribe in a Reader

7 Good Reasons to Tie Up Your Style!

• You'll feel pretty
• You'll feel like smiling
• You'll feel more creative
• Your cooking will taste better
• Your kitchen will smell more inviting
• Your family will purr with contentment
• Your guests will thank you with love in their hearts

What's not to like? Recently, Christine at Fruit in Season talked to me about her new apron, "Blue Bubbles," one of the flirty retro-chic aprons at my second blog,
Susannah’s Aprons.

Q. What do you like most about your new apron?

A. I love everything about the apron, but if I had to pick one my favorite thing about it is the flare at the bottom. If I had to pick TWO, the second thing would be the soothing and whimsical color palette. I feel more productive when I'm wearing it for some reason!

Q. When do you wear it?

A. I have one other apron (also from a blogger friend!) and I wear it most during family meal times and puttering around the kitchen. So this one will be used in a similar manner. I like to bake on the weekends for the coming week and I inevitably will get my clothes messy, so wearing aprons alleviates my mess!

Q. Would you buy an apron for someone you know as gift?

A. I would definitely buy one as a gift. A couple of people come to mind—my sister, and my blogging friend Elise from A Path Made Straight.

Thanks so much for your time, Christine! I hope you’ll stop by again soon. Meanwhile, enjoy "Blue Bubbles"
(now 17% off) while you putter in your kitchen.

Aprons Make Great Gifts

If you need to buy a birthday, bridal shower, or thank you gift, consider giving a retro-chic vintage apron from Susannah’s Aprons. Your friends will remember your thoughtfulness for years to come. Please enjoy the slide show below.

Related

1. Vintage Aprons Then & Now

2. Julia Child's Apron Memories

Photo: MizzElElly (Flickr)

Up Next—Marriage Monday Reminder with Guest Blogger Susan Amato

Can you think of someone who would enjoy a new apron?

Personal Life: Olive Oil for Longevity

2009-09-27T23:38:00.000-07:00

Command the Israelites to bring you clear oil of pressed olives for the light so that the lamps may be kept burning.
(Ex 27:20 NIV)

He went to him and bandaged his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he put the man on his own donkey, took him to an inn and took care of him. (Luke 10:34 NIV)

Each day Jesus was teaching at the temple, and each evening he went out to spend the night on the hill called the Mount of Olives. (Luke 21:37 NIV)

Is any one of you sick? He should call the elders of the church to pray over him and anoint him with oil in the name of the Lord. (James 15:4 NIV)

Health Benefits & Beauty Treatments

Written by e-Mom. Follow me on Twitter. Subscribe in a Reader

Olive oil is the most important food in the Bible. It’s mentioned more than 200 times and is the symbol of goodness, purity and—especially—long life. It’s one of the few specific foods mentioned by Jesus as a healing food, and recorded by Luke the beloved physician.

If you’ve been to Israel, you know that olive trees grow very slowly and attain great age. Some of the original trees at Gethesemane, an olive orchard at the foot of the Mount of Olives, spring from the original trees that were growing there at the time of Christ. The Roman soldiers who sacked Jerusalem in 70 AD tried to destroy the orchard but found it impossible to destroy the roots. Jesus spent His last night before the Crucifixion praying in the Garden of Gesthemane. After He appeared to the disciples, He ascended to heaven from the Mount of Olives.

17 Uses for the Olive

• Since the time of Noah, the olive branch has been a symbol of peace.
• Olive oil is a high energy food and one of the most digestible of all fats.
• Olive oil has been used for a fuel.
• Olive oil has been used in religious ceremonies.
• Olive oil can be absorbed by the skin.
• It’s used as a cosmetic to maintain suppleness of skin, to heal abrasions, sooth sun and windburn. Olive oil gives body and shine to hair.
• It’s been used as a sign of welcome.
• Mixed with wine its been used to soften and heal wounds.
• Folk remedies from ancient times include olive oil and olive leaves as a cure for inflammation of the gums, insomnia, nausea, and boils.
• Olive oil has been made popular in the Mediterranean Diet, which offers protection against heart attack and strokes.
• Olive oil is said to retard cancer growth by strengthening cell membranes, making them better able to resist the invasion of “free radicals.”
• Olive oil is rich in Vitamin E, one of the best antioxidants available.
• Olive oil reduces gastric acidity.
• It protects against ulcers and aids the passage of food through the intestine, preventing constipation.
• Olive oil stimulates bile secretion and provokes contraction of the gallbladder, reducing risk of gallstones.
• Olive oil aids in bone growth and is suitable for expectant and nursing mothers.

6 Folk Remedy Beauty Treatments

1. For Shining Hair. After shampooing, rub in a mixture of olive oil and egg yolk, juice of a lemon and a little beer. Leave in for five minutes and wash out.
2. To Prevent Dandruff. Rub a mixture of olive oil and cologne into the hair and scalp. Rinse.
3. For Dry Skin. Make a face mask with an avocado and olive oil. Leave on for 10 minutes and rinse.
4. To Prevent Wrinkles. Rub a mixture of olive oil and the juice of lemon into the skin before bed.
5. For Weak Nails. Soak your nails for five minutes in warm olive oil. Then pat them with white iodine.
6. To Clear Acne. Try a mixture of 8 oz of olive oil and 10 drops of lavender oil.

This information has been quoted from Miracle Food Cures From the Bible by Reese Dubin and Healing Foods From the Bible published by the Globe Digest Series. I've referred to both of these excellent books for years! Get one or both if you're serious about learning how to achieve optimal health the Bible way. Love, e-Mom

Photos: (1) RobW (2) 96dpi (4) verseguru (Flickr) (3) amazon.com

Up Next—Practical Life: Homemaking

How do you like to use olive oil?

Family Life: Visual Journaling

2009-09-24T14:48:00.000-07:00

Art Activity for Kids (or Grown-ups)

Posted by e-Mom. Follow me on Twitter. Subscribe in a Reader

Autumn has officially arrived and damp, overcast weather will soon drive all of us back indoors again.
So long summer!

This easy art activity can fill your childrens' afternoons with hours of pleasure. You might even discover that visual journaling gives them a new language to express bottled-up, hidden emotions.

Elementary school art teacher, Kathy Barbro at Art Project For Kids offers specific instructions for creating each of the journal entries illustrated above. At this amazing website, you'll find a total of 18 idea pages, with scads of additional art activities for kids as well. I subscribe to Kathy's RSS feed, just to enjoy her daily entries.

Art Therapy

Visual journalling can be used in therapy. If you're in emotional pain, and need help finding a Biblical counselor or therapist, I recommend that you contact Jan Parrish at Bold & Free Ministries. Jan specializes in Abuse, Post Abortion Syndrome, Grief Counseling, and Care-giving support.

Up Next—Personal Life: Olive Oil for Longevity

Are you doing anything creative today?
(Victoria Gaines is sorting beads for jewelry and I'm planning
to bake Challah bread.)

Dos & Don'ts for Working Wives (Part 2)

2009-09-21T00:37:00.000-07:00

My Interview With Mrs. Super-Successful
Written by e-Mom. Follow me on Twitter

Recently, I had dinner with a dear Christian friend, Jan who is a well-compensated executive with a local financial services firm. Married for the first time in her mid-forties, she revealed how she's been able to create a happy marriage with a man who earns significantly less than she does. To give us some insights, she graciously agreed to answer a few of my questions.

For the Introduction to this article, please see "Dos & Don'ts for Working Wives (Part 1)."

Q. How did you meet Pete, and how long have you two been married?

A. Pete and I have been married for almost eight years after dating for 3+ years. Pete had been married before (with no children) while I had never been married. We met in 1998 through a print personals ad that was the precursor to the whole internet dating scene that is so common today. I was the only woman to respond to his ad and after our first lively chat on the phone, his ability to make me laugh intrigued me and made me anxious to meet him in person.

Q. Since you were single for a significant part of your adult years, you became accustomed to fending for yourself in every way. How do you allow Pete to “step up to the plate” so you can feel adored and cared for? What don’t you do?

A. As noted so clearly in his classic book His Needs Her Needs; Building an Affair-Proof Marriage by Willard F. Harley, Ph.D., the number one basic need for a woman to receive from her husband within their marriage is Affection. Being affectionate in words and deeds (saying how much he loves me, holding hands, spontaneously kissing, sending cards and flowers, etc.) are non-financial acts that I have encouraged from the very beginning of our relationship.

A man who exceedingly meets his wife’s number one need and receives thanks and encouragement every time he succeeds in her eyes, will feel successful. In the book Men Are Like Waffles Women Are Like Spaghetti by Bill and Pam Farrel, they note that a man will strategically organize his life in boxes and then spend most of his time in the boxes he can succeed in. I make sure to tell Pete what makes me happy, like date nights, flowers sent to work, sentimental cards and weekend surprise getaways. I don’t belittle even the smallest affectionate gesture as I am thankful always for the thoughtful and fun ways Pete demonstrates his love for me.

Q. You mentioned that you’ve learned the power of two words: “Thank you.” Under what circumstances are you careful to express your appreciation to Pete? What don't you do?

A. I can’t emphasize enough how important it is for a wife to say "Thank you!" to her husband. Thank him for just being him and loving you in addition to all the tasks he does around the house. I always thank Pete for mowing the lawn, vacuuming and other day-to-day tasks that make my life easier. The key is not expecting to be thanked in return for what I do for him. I don’t need or expect to hear those words. His hand in mine is enough thanks for me!

Q. How do you and Pete handle the household bills? Do you have separate checking accounts? What don’t you do?

A. As I am in the financial services business, I handle paying the household bills and Pete appreciates that because it isn’t really his strength. We have one combined checking account and both of our paychecks go into that account. We don’t have allowances, per se, and we talk over big purchases or vacation plans, etc. I don’t micromanage what either of us spends on day-to-day expenses as neither of us are “big spenders.” We love to travel and so that has become the area where we splurge whether it is a cruise to the Mediterranean or hiking through the National Parks. We both have input into where we go and because we have so much fun together, I can’t say we have ever had a bad vacation. The key is to give up the “control hat” that many of us high achiever women wear all day long and let your husband love you in “his way.”

Q. Pete’s sales job has seen a downturn with the recent economic recession and he has accepted a significant pay cut along with his co-workers. How have you dealt with the reduction of income?

A. My main point of emphasis to Pete was not to focus on the reduction in his salary, but to realize that shared sacrifice is a good thing for his company. This means that valuable employees will not get laid off and the whole staff will be intact when the economy improves. He feels positive about helping his company succeed over the long haul.

Q. What parting advice would you offer to women who have suddenly been thrust into the role of family breadwinner due to the current recession?

A. Amy Pulsifer, in an article titled “The Secrets of 50-Year Marriages” confessed that she felt disheartened as she discovered that the major factor that contributed to the success of the long-term marriages in her research, was well-defined, traditional gender roles: the husband was responsible for providing financial support; and the wife looked after their home and children.

When the gender roles in your marriage are turned upside down or adjusted to meet economic realities, the key is to communicate openly, honestly and often with your husband about your needs. Together, you need to find ways to help him to be successful at meeting those that do not have financial measures as their yardstick. Your role (wife as primary breadwinner) may be temporary or permanent; the key is to work together to make your marriage permanent.

Thank you so much for sharing your insights today, Jan. As my thank you, a trip to Baskins & Robbins for ice cream is waiting somewhere in your future!

Helpful Resources

1. Weathering the Storm of Job Loss by FamilyLife
2. The Purpose-Driven Job Hunter by Christianity Today
3. "The Secrets of 50-Year Marriages" by Mary Kassian

Note: If you would like support this ministry, please click the DONATE button under "About" in my sidebar. Thank you for your partnership with Chrysalis.

Up Next—Family Life: Visual Journaling

If you enjoyed this post, would you kindly write "thumbs up" to Jan in the comments?

Photos: dchrisoh, Alpharetta+CVB, J.McPherson (Flickr)

If you enjoyed this article, perhaps you would consider linking to it.