SUCCEEDING WITH WHAT LIFE GIVES YOU!

tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27062825.post-57694536910329948132008-04-15T16:34:00.000-07:002008-04-15T16:37:14.863-07:00SUCCEEDING WITH WHAT LIFE GIVES YOU!************************************************ "SIMPLY SUCCESS" - April 15, 2008 ======================================= >Helping You Create What Matters MOST in Life and Work Bruce Elkin: Life/Work Renewal Coach Personal - Professional - Organizational http://www.BruceElkin.com Sent to subscribers only. Names are never shared or sold! To leave list or change email address, scroll to bottom. ************************************************** Hi all, Thank you for all the good-hearted chiding about my April 1st edition. Some of the responses definitely "got me" back. I appreciated you turning the joke back on me. The weather here has been changing rapidly. From cool and damp to hot and sunny and back to cool, damp and windy. But, hey, it's the weather. Although as a regular topic of conversation, it does add some social glue, it's not something we can do anything about! It's a given! And that's what I want to talk about this week. -------------- >PREVIEW ========= This week's post includes: • A piece on "Working What Life Gives US", • A new link to an article of mine about "The 7 Practices of Creating What Matters", • A link to a wonderful, and inspiring video. • New Tools and Resources that I recommend. -------------------------------- > WORKING WITH WHAT LIFE GIVES US ============================== Following on from our discussions about the importance of recognizing and managing your self-talk, it will be coming clear that we hold both functional beliefs and dysfunctional beliefs. And one of the keys to success is to choose to act on the functional beliefs, and let the dysfunctional beliefs dissolve with dis-use. But, many of us believe our dysfunctional beliefs. And, if we think dysfunctional beliefs are true, that they are inviolable laws of the universe, then, when those laws are broken, we will likely get very upset. However, no law says you should do well. It is not written that others should treat you well. No statute says life, or any part of it, should be easy. It is rational and useful to desire to do well, to prefer that people treat you well, and to want things to be easy. But, when you turn desires into demands—musts, shoulds, oughts, etc…—you pit yourself against reality. As a friend advised, “In the battle between you and Reality, always bet on Reality.” Besides, when you “should” on yourself, other people, and the world, you end up “full of should.” Who wants that? Demand-driven “shoulds” make you frustrated and disappointed. They create anger, anxiety, and depression. You'd do better to learn to work with reality as it is. Working with reality as you create what matters to you eases your stress, dissolves distress, and more consistently leads to the real and lasting results you long for GOING WITH THE GIVENS You do best when you accept life’s givens, and work with them. I gave an important talk to a large, potential corporate client's staff, during which the power to my microphone and PowerPoint projector failed. At first, I was up to my neck in dysfunctional beliefs: "This should not be happening." "I'll never get my points across, and never win this client." "I'm doomed." But, after nearly 30 years of practice with working with the givens, I quickly settled myself down. It was happening, and I still wanted to do well, and win the corporate contract. So, I had the organizers bring me a whiteboard and drew my graphics as well as I could, and shouted out my talk to those in the back of the auditorium. Later, people came up to tell me how great they thought my talk was, and how well I'd walked that talk! I got the contract. I worked with the givens that day. I took what life gave me, and did the best I could with what I got. People appreciated that. I succeeded in spite of adversity. If you accept and work with what life gives you, too, you can succeed. You won’t always do well. People will not always treat you as you think they should. And life isn’t always easy. These three givens are bedrock facts of your existence. You ignore or deny them at your peril. But when you acknowledge these givens, and do your best in spite of them, you are more likely to succeed at what matters, and to reap the internal and external rewards of doing so. Recognizing dysfunctional beliefs is the first step in creating a more functional way of thinking and acting. Changing your thoughts and beliefs changes how you feel and act. It changes the results you produce. It can change your life. TECHNIQUE TO BURN Insight and understanding are important. But, by themselves, they do not lead to real and lasting change, or results. To master these emotional mastery skills, and be able to use them when you need them, you need what jazz musicians call “technique to burn.” By technique to burn, musicians mean having more skill than you would ever need for any given situation. To achieve such mastery, and make it your habitual way of dealing with difficulties and adversity, you need to practice, practice, practice. Repetition breeds habit formation. Researchers, for example, found that rats can solve a puzzle flawlessly after practicing it (and being rewarded with food) 100 times. After 200 repetitions, they can do the puzzle habitually, automatically—without rewards. Researchers found that such extensive practice actually changes the shape and structure of a rat’s brain. Other researchers found the same thing happens when any highly trained specialist practices enough. Their brains change. Musicians who practice five or more hours a day, and Buddhist monks who practice meditation for 10,000 plus hours, actually rewire their brains. They increase their neural capacity. They develop technique to burn. So, too can you! By practicing noticing and changing your self-talk, you will get better at it. By practicing working with what life gives you, you will get better at it. By practicing creating what you truly want-- independent of what life gives you -- you'll much more likely succeed in creating the kind and quality of life and work you MOST want. So, once again, the key to success is practice, practice, practice! --------------------------- >A NEW POSTING OF ANOTHER OF MY ARTICLES ================================ Here's another article of mine, recently published in a blog called Aussie Resumes. You have to scroll past another piece to get to mine, which is called CREATING SUCCESS: 7 Practices for Creating What Matters MOST in Life and Work. http://tinyurl.com/6gfk43 While you're there, check out the Aussie Resume site. Good stuff! ------------------------ > ARE YOU DOING WHAT YOU LOVE WITH YOUR LIFE? Would you like to create what TRULY matters to you in life/work? ========================================= I work with competent, capable people who are stuck, stalled, or struggling with complicated life/work challenges. I help them develop the SKILLS, STRUCTURE, and SUPPORT to make the complex simple, and to get going on what matters. I encourage and support PRACTICE as they turn visions into reality! I can help you find what you love-and create a life that shows it! I only have space for 2 new clients at the moment, but am interviewing now for late May to July, and into the summer. >I'll be away in mid-May to celebrate a special birthday. So, act now, if you're interested in early summer coaching. >If you would like my fr.ee 7-page info package, e-mail me with "Coaching Info" as the subject at Bruce@BruceElkin.com --------------- >FEEL GOOD VIDEO (WITH A MESSAGE) ========================== Many of you may have seen this video of Randy Pausch's Last Lecture. If you haven't, or if you just want to watch the highlights, check this out: http://www.karmatube.org/videos.php?id=223 Randy has terminal cancer, but this talk is so upbeat, funny, and moving that I just had to share it with you. It's the short version, but there is a link to the longer version which just aired on the ABC network. Very worthwhile!!! ------------------- >QUOTABLE QUOTES: ============= "Crisis is not always bad; it can become a turning point in your life for the better. Yes, it can bring danger and upset, but it also carries with it opportunity for growth and change. As you try to discover a way to cope with crisis, you could discover a new and better way of living." -- H. Norman Wright "Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming--Wow!--What a ride!" -- Erma Bombeck "Buddha left a road map, Jesus left a road map, Krishna left a road map, Rand McNally left a road map. But you still have to travel the road yourself." -- Stephen Levine "For me, security is not knowing what's going to happen. Because if I don't know, it could be terrific." -- Gloria Steinem -------------------- Do take a few minutes to watch the video. It'll make your day. And if there is any way I can help you with life design, high performance, or getting unstuck, please let me know. Enjoy! Bruce ************************************************** > BRUCE ELKIN: Personal, Professional, and Organization Renewal Coach >Call: 250.388.7210 www.BruceElkin.com Or Skype Me! ************************************************** > USEFUL TOOLS AND RESOURCES I USE & RECOMMEND: ================================ >WEBSITE AND MARKETING TOOLS ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ >Thinking about creating or upgrading your website? Want a better marketing approach? * Check out this FR.EE Marketing Starter Kit at: http://www.1shoppingcart.com/app/?af=73714 * For info or to purchase a copy of THE WEBSITE TOOLKIT, please go to http://www.1shoppingcart.com/app/?af=73714 * THE ACTION PLAN TOOL KIT can make designing and Implementing a marketing plan easier, effective, and fun. Go to http://www.1shoppingcart.com/app/?af=73714 I use these tools with great results and recommend them without reservation. And Robert has recently made some great updates to the Website Toolkit. ---------------------- >TOOLS FOR COACHES AND WANNABE COACHES ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Christian Mickleson helped Robert Middleton build his mailing list to over 50,000 names. I get great value from his newsletter. He offers these programs that I recommend. 1) The Coaching Business Rocket Launcher: A fr.ee program to help coaches generate more clients. http://www.profcs.com/app/aftrack.asp?afid=765965 2) Free Sessions That Sell: The Client Enrollment System A more detailed approach to doing free talks, and enrolling clients. http://tinyurl.com/3gogv6 He's got lots more programs but these 2 will get you started. ---------------------- >TOOLS FOR WRITERS AND WANNABE WRITERS ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Judy Cullins is a bookcoach who specializes in helping writers and other independent professionals write ebooks that sell, and do so quickly. I've used the products and find them very helpful. Write Your eBook or Other Short Book - Fast! http://belkin35.bookcoach1.hop.clickbank.net/ Advanced Article Marketing - 3 Book Special http://belkin35.articlemkt.hop.clickbank.net/ Ten Non-Techie Ways to Market Your Book Online http://belkin35.nontechie1.hop.clickbank.net/ ===============================BruceElkin.comhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14786496635593482700noreply@blogger.com