Power Love

2009-07-07T06:00:00.000-05:00

KICKBALL: US-7, THEM-5

The first thing you need to know about Sweep the Leg Johnny's kickball game last week is, the ref possessed some kind of paradigm-shifting power that allowed him to transform Gill Park into the Wizard of Oz version of a kickball field. As you may know, Gill Park is a gem. Tucked behind a blonde brick buidling that houses the grave of Jimmy Hoffa, the kickball field spreads out like the yellow brick road, except it's a field, so less road, more field. But still, that air of Dorothy and Scarecrow skipping down a golden mosaic path is inescapable. Some people have a problem with the ever present air of a woman who talks conspiratorially to her small dog. I do not, as I love anything that involves shiny shoes.

Anyhoodle, this ambience proved to work in our favor because Sweep the Leg Johnny rules at paradigm shifting.

The game progressed as the sun set and the field lights came on. There was a yellow glow that eeked out from underneath park benches and at the roots of trees. Periodically, a chorus of booze drinkers who had commandeered a nearby bench would break out into song, each of which ended with a cheer and the clunk of beer cans. A smoke machine was brought in during Inning 3. By Inning 6, dancers were coralled in the deep outfield where they stretched. I'm pretty sure they were the real Rockettes.

In addition to paradigm shifting, the ref also possessed an annoying combination of ethics and smugness, which caused him to enforce the rules and ignore various tasty bribes, and which also caused him to frequently suspend play and explain the rules as though the rest of us were completely ignorant of the rules.

We were. We were completely ignorant of the rules, okay, Elliot Ness? Sheesh. I mean, except for Bobby. As it turned out, an understanding of the rules proved to be an ideal approach to winning the game. Evidently, if you simply "tag up" after the other team catches a fly ball, you can then proceed to "take a base," or two, if you're wiley, alert, and on meth. When multiple offensive players "tag up" and subsequently "take a base," this is called "kicking ass" and it creates a very pleasurable feeling.

By the bottom of Inning 7, Sweep the Leg Johnny was up by 2. We took the field and suddenly, a cobweb-like feeling crept over our collective team hands and wouldn't you know, a top-secret, adhesive gel, invented by NASA, covered our palms, thereby allowing us to catch everything that came our way.

This was perfect at the time since it was an easy 1-2-3 to end the game. However, most of us enjoy juggling flaming swords as a way to relax after a tense kickball game, so the adhesive NASA gel proved to be not so practical at that time.

Still, we won. The smoke machine smoked. The Rockettes kicked. The booze hounds on the park bench wailed the blues. Next week starts playoff week. You should go.

TOMMY CAN YOU HEAR ME?

2009-07-05T12:23:00.001-05:00

Though this graphic doesn't look like one, I can't help but wonder if this isn't a message to the cylons.

Chicago Love

2009-06-23T13:06:00.001-05:00

Live Blogging: Kickball

2009-06-18T19:28:00.001-05:00

Game cancelled. Suck.

Live Blogging: Kickball

2009-06-18T19:01:00.001-05:00

Live shot taken from the window of the team motorcade.

Live Blogging: Kickball

2009-06-18T18:34:00.001-05:00

I suspect the inordinate amount of garlic in my last meal will work against me during tonight's midnight meeting with the vampires.

Live Blogging: Kickball

2009-06-18T18:19:00.001-05:00

When it's 80 degrees with 90% humidity, it's best to wear all black.

Travelogue: Starved Rock

2009-06-15T16:08:00.001-05:00

Apparently, god is somewhere up there.

Travelogue: Starved Rock

2009-06-15T15:59:00.001-05:00

Singing trees.

Travelogue: Starved Rock

2009-06-15T15:53:00.001-05:00

For the record, the super hero version of me drives a Harley.

Travelogue: Starved Rock

pink toenails = summer

Travelogue: Starved Rock

2009-06-15T15:23:00.001-05:00

Recovery drink. When you consume this with a hamburger and fries, you will regain your super powers and then you will be able to save the world.

Travelogue: Starved Rock

2009-06-15T15:13:00.001-05:00

Yikes. Vertigo.

Travelogue: Starved Rock

This is LaSalle Canyon. There's a waterfall here. I'm gonna move into the inside of it. As you know, Alert Power Love Reader, the inside of waterfalls is where the magic happens.

Travelogue: Starved Rock

This exists naturally in nature. It is so real as to be unreal.

Travelogue: Starved Rock

2009-06-15T12:04:00.001-05:00

On an unrelated note, I really like Billy Squier.

Travelogue: Sussex, WI

2009-06-15T08:12:00.001-05:00

Roads like unfurled ribbons. The percussive breath of summer's breeze. Unrolled car windows. Pollen puffs floating like they never heard of gravity. Wildflowers exploding across blankets of grassy fields. The Who we won't get fooled again. Ice cold Coke in the cup holder.

2009-06-14T16:28:00.002-05:00

Road trip music: all classic rock, all the time: Rolling Stones, Led Zeppelin, Foreigner, Pat Benatar (!), Rolling Stones, Led Zeppelin. The sun is hot and I'm in love with it.

Travelogue: Sussex, WI

2009-06-14T10:23:00.001-05:00

Midwestern summer, you are a saucy minx. And breathlessly enchanting.

Travelogue: Dixon, IL

2009-06-14T01:45:00.001-05:00

Life lessons, care of a sign in Rochelle, IL. Um, men in the world? Did you already know this?

Travelogue: Dixon, IL

2009-06-13T22:43:00.001-05:00

I drove west until I found the sun. It peeked out in DeKalb. By Dixon, it was furious. The statue in the yard of Reagan's boyhood home is indeed of a man. He's looking at corn kernels in his hand. He looks more like Walter Cronkite.

Travelogue: Dixon, IL

2009-06-13T21:32:00.001-05:00

My Grama grew up in Dixon, IL. Apparently, a former president did as well. There is no museum dedicated to my Grama in Dixon. My Grama taught me the importance of big, sincere hugs. That deserves a museum.

2009-06-08T20:13:00.001-05:00

2009-06-04T22:38:00.001-05:00

Sometimes I think about the people I know, and I can't believe how lucky I am.

Huh.

2009-06-04T19:15:00.001-05:00

Did you know there is something called a triple play? There is.

Game Recap

They cheated.

Beer Dude

2009-06-04T18:42:00.001-05:00

This is the beer dude.

Ump

2009-06-04T18:34:00.001-05:00

This is the dude to bribe.

Field

2009-06-04T18:26:00.001-05:00

Here's the field. Where are the playas? Presumably, at the liquor store. Beer is the drink of champions.