roarprawn

KORU CLUB FAIL

2009-11-09T14:20:00.003+13:00

We are in Hamilton on our way back to Wellington and Koru has a nice little lounge for us frequent travellers. It has a nice view of the runway for plane spotters, a wee cubby for TV addicts and a couple of computers. Its used to have a table where you could plug your computer in and get wireless. It seems they have removed the power cords.. Duh. Power is good. If you have been in meetings all day it is useful to know you can power up.

As this is a "unmanned" lounge we cant ask why. Seems bloody silly to us.

And Hamilton is still charging a $5 departure fee. Its more of a bloody pain than anything and its such a flimsy piece of paper.. why couldnt they get a stamp machine that you feed in your boarding pass and get it stamped instead?

PAINTING OVER THE CRACKS.

2009-11-09T10:15:00.002+13:00

A few weeks ago, on one of the few warm days we have had in Wellington, we were walking down the lane beside Mermaids on Courtenay Place and noticed a bevy of strapping men with their overalls fashionably tied at the waist. This exposed their bristling muscles and made us go all a quiver. Anyhoo,it was obvious that Mermaids, Wellingtons best known strip bar was getting a major facelift.

So fast forward to this morning and one of the young turks on his way to the big round house notes that the painters are still hard at work... Seems a long time to us - or are they just taking things slow so they can admire the unique view...

WONDER WHERE THE SUNDAY STAR TIMES GOT THIS STORY?

2009-11-08T12:07:00.004+13:00

We were amused to see this story in the SST about the curious public servant clown phobic and the circus themed Christmas party...

We ran it here on Roarprawn 5 days ago .

Alf Grumble asked the question -Is the public service a safe place for clown phobics to work?

TELL IT LIKE IT IS........

2009-11-08T11:05:00.005+13:00

Lets puts some perspective around the Hone Harawira email issue...

What Buddy Mikaere first said, after reading in a newspaper column that Hone had taken his missus on a govt funded side trip to Paris, that pissed Hone off.

Gotta ask the question eh? Who’s paying for Hilda?

Then what Hone said in return...

Gee Buddy, do you believe that white man bullshit too do you?

White motherfuckers have been raping our lands and ripping us off for centuries, and all of a sudden you want me to play along with their puritanical bullshit.

I don't often respond to comments like this, but I will to you.

I put in shit loads of hours and bucketloads of energy in my commitment to advancing Maori, and I am happy to put my body, my freedom, and my personal credibility on the line for that cause.

And I don't do it because of the salary, or the political position I hold, or for any other reason than that I believe in fighting for Maori rights and I love doing what I do.

As far as my wife is concerned - I don't know what your relationship is with whomever, but my wife is my partner, my adviser, my critic, and my best friend, and she has marched with me, fought alongside me, suffered the hard times with me and stood by me for more than 35 years, so if I get the chance to take her with me as part of my role as an MP I will.

And quite frankly I don't give a shit what you or anyone else thinks about it.

OK?

Hone

PS and if you want to take this to the press, go right ahead. I answer to my people, not to them or to anybody else.

Then what Buddy ( our Hero) said back...

but furthermore, I work just as bloody hard as you do to support not only my wider whanau but also the system where tax payers like me pay nearly 40% of our daily bread – more if you take into account gst and all the other little add-ons - so that you and your missus can maintain your personal relationship swanking around the world looking at white man icons in Paris – well gee whizz - in that respect brother you’re no better than that wanker Rodney Hyde and the white mofos you complain about…and get off your moral high horse while you’re at it – nobody forced you to be an MP

And As we have already said. Its not about Hone being a Maori He was an MP leading an NZ delegation. He went to do a job - he didn't do it. He lied to his boss about what he was doing and he got the company ( NZ ) to pay for it..

All that has nothing to do with him being a Maori. Its just about him being an arrogant troughing MP.

BACK TO TIKANGA

2009-11-08T09:44:00.004+13:00

We have been in Hamilton this weekend - a world away from Wellington and two worlds away from the South Island and Ngai Tahu.

We have had time to take stock and we think we have set out to achieve what we wanted to do - get Ngai Tahu focusing on their leadership and the tribes performance and make people think and act on who they want to represent them - and we have already seen the signals , with the election of Wally Stone and Tahu Potiki, that the people want a change of direction.

We have come under fire for moderating the debate on various posts - its simply because both the supporters of Mark Solomon and his detractors have indulged in some personal mudslinging the likes of which we have never, ever seen before on any issue we have ever run on this blog.

We reckon that we have done a good job of stoking the fires of a very important issue for Ngai Tahu rank and file. We think that we were pretty well known for plain speaking on the Marae so we have taken that approach on this blog. We have done what we have done here on Ngai Tahu issues on Roarprawn, with the help of many from one end of the country to the other. We thank them. For many Ngai Tahu, Roarprawn is not something that ends up in your puku - it a noisy little fish that embeds in your brain and makes you think.

But now it is time for the focus to shift from the virtual marae we have created here to the real one.

It is now the turn of the people, face to face, to sort these issues through.

So until the Hui A Tau which is being held at Oraka Aparima Colac Bay Riverton, on the weekend of the 20-22nd of November is over, we wont mock, prod, slap, dig, cajole, criticise or praise anything or anyone in relation to the elections.

We think that this way everyone can take a breather and think very, very wisely about the best part they can play in the future of the tribe that will serve the best interests of us all.

That sort of talk is best done without heat in quiet rooms.

It's time for all the tribe to turn up to the Hui A Tau and voice their concerns and support for the people they want to lead the tribe.

It is time to take the business back into the House of Tahu for a while. There is going to have to be an orderly transition in leadership - as Ngai Tahu is not just important to its people, it has an important role to play in the South Island economy. Ngai Tahu can also join with other iwi to get the economies of scale required to advance new business ventures to benefit all Maori.

And for those who have contacted us and asked if we are interested in being involved in the elections down home in Awarua, Bluff. Yes and no. We have no interest in standing as a representative. We are fervent devotees of Ahi Kaa. That is - that those who are at home are the best to manage the home affairs. But maybe we will put our hands up to be on the panel to select the local delegate. We will consider that option in due course.

We walked away from active involvement in tribal affairs 10 years ago, when we moved to Wellington, after being heavily engaged in runanga, marae and runanga business and the titi committee. The only tribal business we ever really wanted to be actively involved in was the management of fisheries but that opportunity never came our way.

Many of the skills we learnt at home have stood us in good stead all these years.
We have run our own successful little business without a drop of financial support from anyone, so that has been pretty satisfying.

And its good to look back and see that a lot of what we help initiateback home has survived today. So we look back with some pride. And its those experiences and understanding that has kept us forever interested in tribal politics - albiet at a distance.

So to you , leaders and followers all - it is time to put aside the egos, the family disputes, the jealousies and for humility to reign and for The Table to serve up the feast of social and economic riches for all us to share.

So for now we will stay quiet and concentrate on other things.. Just for a while mind you, just for a while..

CHANGING OF THE GUARD FOR NGAI TAHU?

2009-11-06T17:18:00.003+13:00

Could be -- we hear there is a meeting in Christchurch at the Big Green House. ... We will keep you posted.

FRIDAY ROUND UP

2009-11-06T13:54:00.004+13:00

So which three young likely lads working in the Beehive are known as the " Boy Band?"

Clues
- Be forewarned
- church big wig
- Rolling stone

Apparently all are popular with women. does this mean right wing politics is the new black?

Does any women actually shave their legs with the Gillette Vibrating Venus razor?

What does Tracy Watkins have against Minister for Agriculture David Carter to say, in a recent ranking article on Ministers performance, that he deserved a 3/10 when he is well liked and respected by the agriculture sector and that his caucus collegues are very impressed by how he manages his portfolio? And where did she ever get the idea that Key would give him the biff in any future cabinet reshuffle?

So what does Colin Espiner do now that Tracy Watkins was picked for the Fairfax political hub top job?

SHAKIN THE TREE

2009-11-06T13:15:00.002+13:00

Matthew Hooton has done one of his finest columns ever for the NBR today. Its explores the fears we hold about access to the foreshore and seabed and why we should be relaxed about it..

We are going to fisk it....

When I am in Tauranga, I stay at the very pleasant Sebel hotel, built on three piers out over the harbour. Its construction in 2006 meant New Zealanders lost access to that part of the foreshore. Up the road is the port, with fences preventing access to the sea.

When I was young, holidays were at Turkey Island, near Coromandel, owned by three family friends. No one ever stopped others landing on the island for a picnic but it would have been odd had they not introduced themselves and asked if it was OK.

Later, my family bought a bach at Northland’s Te Ngaere Bay. We called the next bay Tattersfield’s, after the family that owned it, and it was customary to say hi when strolling across their beach.

Just south was a farm owned by Doug Myers, including a holiday home on a small, secluded bay. With no public road access, it didn’t feel quite right to land a boat on his beach but there was no sign saying you couldn’t.

A short walk up the valley, on Maori-owned land, was a waterfall with a decent fresh-water swimming hole. When we Auckland kids wanted to use it, it was courteous to check with the whanau living there, in pretty much third-world conditions. It was never a problem.

Yip our life has been pretty much the same - Never been denied access to any part of NZ.

Nowadays, my wife and I take our kids to a Pacific Island resort each year. The kids go to the Kids’ Club and we take it easy at the beach. The locals don’t have access to that small bit of coastline but they do have the rest of the island to choose from. They also have jobs.

The enjoyment of my life has never been compromised by limited restrictions on my access to the sea. Nor has any of my privileged access compromised anyone else’s enjoyment of theirs. But the idea there is an inherent right by every New Zealander to access every square centimetre of foreshore and seabed is plainly wrong. No such right exists.

The so-called Queen’s Chain has always been a myth. To simply declare it belongs to the state is to propose a nationalisation and collectivisation of land of which Stalin would have been proud.

Unbelievably, this was exactly the position asserted by everyone in Parliament in 2004, except Act and the Greens. It was a national disgrace.

Abso - bloody lutely.

15,134 km coastline

With just four million people, New Zealand has 15,134 kilometres of coastline, the 10^th longest in the world. The exclusive economic zone is more than 4 million square kilometres, the 7th largest in the world.

Listening to politicians in 2004, it was possible to believe the 3.4 million New Zealanders who do not identify as Maori were at some risk of losing access to these resources, whether for commercial development or just building a sandcastle with their kids. Avoiding this risk, we were told, justified sabotaging due process, removing the right of access to the courts and undermining the rule of law.

The risk was never real. The area of foreshore and seabed where it was ever likely a hapu could prove customary title was always infinitesimal compared with the thousands of kilometres of coastline. The Foreshore and Seabed Act, announced unprompted by the Labour regime within hours of the Court of Appeal’s Ngati Apa decision, was a despicable piece of legislation.

It was worse than that - it was venal and evil.

National’s abandonment of its commitment to property rights, the rule of law and civilised race relations was even more vile.

Yip we were gobsmacked that they would not make a principled stand for what was essentially an issue of property rights.

Resolution

John Key, Chris Finlayson, Tariana Turia and Pita Sharples will repeal that legislation and put the shame behind New Zealand, but the myth of a right of access to every square centimetre of the foreshore and seabed endures. There will be pressure on them to enshrine that myth in new legislation, as well as greater or lesser rights for Maori than the courts might otherwise find.

They should resist. No new statutory framework is needed. The courts are the proper place to resolve disputes over land ownership, not parliament.

Further, should a handful of hapu be able to prove customary title to the satisfaction of the courts, why shouldn’t they be able to have that right recognised as freehold title? Why shouldn’t they then be able to decide that collecting tuatua is not the extent of their aspirations, but instead form a JV with the Sebel hotel chain to build a holiday resort? (Good luck to them, of course, getting consents from local councils.)

What possible harm would this involve? It would create an economic base and jobs for a bunch of New Zealanders.

As long as it had a Kids’ Club, my wife and I might even decide to spend our holiday dollars not at the Raratongan but at the Muriwhenua Beach Resort and Spa.

It’s difficult to see why so many in Parliament still seem to think that would be so terrible. Are we really that afraid of Maori economic self-determination? Is socialism really so embedded in our national soul?

Matthew is so right, we need to stop being worried about Maori self determination and embrace it.

HONE NEEDS TO SHOW SOME HUMILITY

2009-11-06T12:48:00.004+13:00

There has been a pretty disgusting turn of events in the Hone " Tiki Tour " Harawira .

Its time he showed some humility and shame for what he has done. It was never a racist issue. He is trougher - and apparently he can be a stranger to the truth as well. The fact he is Maori was inconsequential to how the Paris jaunt was viewed by the public and the media.

It was because as a MP he is a servant of the people. We pay him to do a job and shareholders of a country would be pretty pissed off if the CEO was indulged in some personal pleasure rather than company business.
And we think that the emails from Buddy Mikaere should have been a warning to Harawira. Buddy is a highly respected good bastard. ( they come in brown and white) Unlike Harawira who is fast becoming an arrogant troughing dickhead.
And Hone was on company business for New Zealand Inc. Plain and simple.

TIE THEM TO POSTS AND CHUCK KINAS AT THEM

2009-11-05T18:08:00.005+13:00

Rodney, our old mate, has been a burk but at least he said sorry.

Hone has been a prat and doesn't know how to say sorry.

Both need a smack.

Simple message to them both. No more slurping at the taxpayer trough.

SOLOMON'S A PUSSY

2009-11-05T17:35:00.005+13:00

Who would have believed it ? ( well us for starters....) Mark Solomon is doing all he can to delay the inevitable - reports the NZ Herald today being voted out by his own runanga which means he would not only lose the title of Kaiwhakahaere( chair) but he would also lose his seat at the ruling table.
It is disgraceful that he has not promoted an election and fought it like a man.

Again he has fallen short of what is required of a leader.

We have also considered that the Ngai Tahu voting system is nothing ( sorry mum) but a cluster fuck... It gives too much power to too few for too long.

It has ended up this way because the incumbents will normally be the ones to benefit from confusion..

Hopefully this time round we will have a ruling council we can be proud of.

BIGGEST HOAX OF THE DECADE?

2009-11-04T21:16:00.003+13:00

Well apparently the tide is turning , people are starting to get more sceptical as more absurd claims are made about the impending doom we face as the planet does or does not get a bit toasty.

So it is with great delight that we find that The Australian columnist Janet Albrechtsen sounds a sensible word of caution about the growing hysteria and stunts...

Supposed "facts" like this:

" Scientists scolded us with a report that a 750ml bottle of bubbly could produce 100 million bubbles, releasing five litres of carbon dioxide."

Errr yea - so what about beer? And anyway who cares.... its fluffy inconsequential stuff.

But its the stunts and the lies that Albrechtsen really takes issue with.

Just like the small island nation of Maldives where, last month, the president conducted a cabinet meeting underwater to remind the world that his country would be rendered uninhabitable by rising sea levels. Kitted out in full scuba-diving outfits, Mohamed Nasheed and his ministers sat at a table underwater off the coast of the capital of Male.
As planned, the president’s stunt made headlines across the globe. Send us money - and lots of it - is his message. The media love stunts. They are so easy to report.

Sadly, the media is not inquisitive enough to report those who question the circus acts of climate change. A week after the Maldives underwater show, Nils-Axel Morner - a leading world authority on sea levels - wrote an open letter to the president telling him that his stunt was “not founded in observational facts and true scientific judgments”.

Morner is a former professor who headed the department of paleogeophysics and geodynamics at Stockholm University and past president (1999-2003) of the International Union for Quaternary Research commission on sea level changes and coastal evolution. INQUA was founded in 1928 by scientists who aimed to improve the understanding of environmental change during the glacial ages through interdisciplinary research. In other words, the Swedish professor has gravitas when it comes to sea levels.

Alas his letter did not make headlines. That is a shame. Morner says there is “no rational basis” for the hysterical claims that the people of Maldives - or the rest of the world - are threatened by rising sea levels. And he sets out some facts.

Fact number 1: During the past 2000 years, sea levels have fluctuated with 5 peaks reaching 0.6m to 1.2m above present sea level. Fact number 2: From 1790 to 1970 sea levels were about 20cm higher than today. Fact number 3: In the 1970s, the sea level fell by about 20cm to its present level. Fact number 4: Sea levels have remained constant for the past 30 years “implying that there are no traces of any alarming ongoing sea level rise”. Fact number 5 (and I am paraphrasing here): The notion presented by the President of the Maldives that his country will be flooded is bunkum.

We prefer to call it bullshit... Even if it does warm up the globe a bit....

And for a fragile economy like ours we dont want to see the decision makers put the probable fiction of climate change ahead of the definite imperative to keep our economy safe..

DOMS A BIT LATE ON THIS ONE....

2009-11-04T17:18:00.002+13:00

Well we predicted this one over two months ago
The Dom gets to it today -
Finally with Bob jones talking about mounting a campaign
we may finally have a decent local body election in front of us....

THE WORDS OF A LEADER

2009-11-03T21:30:00.002+13:00

The Herald today covered the ascent of Wally Stone to Te runanga o Ngai Tahu...

His words have a quiet humility about them.

He said senior kaumatua and family had persuaded him to stand. "The thing is I know it's difficult for people. They think, 'If you've been treated badly, why would you go back and do it again?' But your family is your family, and if you're in a position to do something for them you should."

Asked if there was a chance that factionalism could hamstring the board during his three-year term, Mr Stone said that was an outcome no one wanted.
"As long as people park their ego at the door and remind themselves that they are representing the aspirations of the people there shouldn't be a problem."

Yip we agree - egos at the door. Welcome home Wally.

TEARS OF A CLOWN

2009-11-03T21:01:00.004+13:00

Political correctness is still alive and well in the public service....

Take this odd tale ..

The Department’s Christmas Party is around a Carnival Circus theme and the poster created by the social club that is hung up all around the building depicts, among other images, a clown.

Today we received an email from an employee who tells us she has a severe phobia of clowns and cannot bear to look at the posters. She would like the design of the poster to be changed ASAP. Until then she is going around with post it notes and sticking them up over the face of the clown on the posters. Of course, someone else is going around and taking the post-it’s off.

This employee is taking her complaint to the Chief Executive’s office and we have to put black stickers over the face of the clown on all the posters.

So do all public servants who have phobias of bullshit and procrastination and verbosity get to plonk sitckers over anything that offends us too? - We wish....

SAYING SORRY

2009-11-02T20:30:00.004+13:00

This is simply an extraordinary admission.

Don Brash said today that he had made a mistake over the way National viewed the Foreshore and seabed issue..

He now understands that much of the trouble was based on the reluctance to let Maori have their say in court. Brash, for all his faults is an honest bugger. It is this type of admission on which we can build a better future for our nation.

Personally we think that Brash never really understood Maori or Maori politics and now maybe he does .

We hope that we see some good pragmatic decisions on the Foreshore and Seabed issue and that will take some compromise from both ends of the debate. It's about property but it is also about the fundemental collective identity of our nation and the things that matter most to us and our access to our coastline is one of them.

We can work it out...

NUMBERS

2009-11-02T17:50:00.004+13:00

We speculated yesterday that in the wake of the new Asset recovery unit that Gang members would be shifting their money off shore..

While there were external forces at work the dollar headed south today so - we wonder just how much US currency has been bought by interesting kiwis in the last few days...

THE CHURCH OF JONES

2009-11-02T17:24:00.008+13:00

It has been bought to out attention that there is a new cult emerging to rival that of Destiny Church's Brian Tamaki.

It is the Church of Jones- and the Bishop is Bob.

If your name is Deborah and you write columns for a living then its a fact that you will become his lay preacheresses - sent out to spread the gospel of Bob.

Deborah Hill Cone has shown the strength of her faith here and here as well

Deborah Coddington devotes an entire " feature" on the Church of Jones here
in what must be the ultimate show of her faith to the Church of Jones.

To them the word is Bob, Bob is Good, Bob is Great, - Glory be to the Bob.

SOME QUESTIONS TO PONDER

2009-11-01T20:27:00.003+13:00

If Nikki Kaye has broken her ankle how will Ranfurly cope?

Which well known mover and shaker is a Nigel No Mates on one board because his fellow directors are having trouble trusting him?

Is it okay to fart in cattle class on a plane? And do planes make you fart anyhow?

And does the fact that 32 light bulbs at Dockside need replacing mean that its not being managed like it used to be?

How much money is going to leave the country next week ?

Isn't Lisa Lewis the best marketer we have seen in a while?

HELL HOUND

2009-11-01T10:28:00.004+13:00

Our son and his girlfriends dog Zeus is a ugly big monster but a complete wuss.... and he dislikes Helen Clark.

However he came in mighty handy when there was a plague of trick and treaters turn up on their doorstep last night as tghey reported on Facebook.

Rude trick or treaters just bowled in to my house last night didnt even knock, just opened the door, but boy did they shit them selfs when our 60kg dog ran at them barking and chased them out the gate hahaha never seen someone leave the property so fast so left him on the deck so could have some peace....no more trick of treaters for the rest of the night peace at last!

Zeus can be rented out for a modest fee.....

FUNNY AS A SHAG SLIDING ON KELP

2009-10-31T22:05:00.003+13:00

YIP THE BLOG POST OF THE MONTH... maybe even the year from the bad young boys at NO MINISTER... -- its here

LEFTY HYPOCRITE GETS THE BIFF FROM HARMAN

2009-10-31T08:28:00.004+13:00

Richard Harman rightly gets snotty on Facebook over Tom Frewen's NBR

(hard copy only) spew on a Harman produced programme.

Is the Tom Frewan who writes in NBR today complaining about Front Page getting NZ on Air money for "The Nation" the same trough gorging wanker who gets money from the Clerk of The House to produce a sanitised daily radio roundup of Parliament? Is he "In House Productions" himself gets $50,000 a year from NZ on Air for his audio Hansard to play on Radio Live? Is he a hypocrite? Yes, he is!

Sock it to the lefty tosser Richard, sock it to em .

EXCLUSIVE - THE WINDS OF CHANGE ARE BLOWING IN THE SOUTH.

2009-10-30T19:03:00.005+13:00

The best news we have had for a week. Wally Stone has been elected as a runanga representative of Ngati Wheke to the Te Runanga O Ngai Tahu ruling council.

Wally , who has the huge respect of the New Zealand business community fell foul of Mark Solomon and left his job as chair of the financial power house of Ngai Tahu empire - Ngai Tahu Holding corp earlier this year.

The last ten years has seen an unstable tribe council riven by bitter personality battles that have spilled into the public arena.

We have been happy to put our hand up and say that Solomon must go.

His reign at the top of the "Table" has not unified the tribe. And his ego has prevented him from making the decision that would have shown integrity - to step aside.

Just recently we came across Solomon in the Wellington Airport - he yelled at us and waved his big Solomon finger in our face. He is obviously no fan of Roarprawn and BustedBlonde and we saw first hand why some people believe he is a bully.

It was not the action of a man of dignity.

But we are not scared of him. Instead we just laughed at him. His finger may be big but his mana is puny.

So the election of Tahu Potiki last week and Wally Stone this week means that we will see a change of direction in our tribes politics. We hope that it will mean that Solomon will finally show some humility and step down.

Our dream team would be Wally Stone at the helm with Tahu Potiki as deputy and to ensure that we dont see anymore swinging dicks, that the role of the chair is more clearly defined on governance and not the semi titular head it appears to have become.

We also want to see some of the people who have built their own businesses and shown strong leadership representing Ngai Tahu on boards and organisations around the country instead of the same old tired faces who have been sychophants of Solomon.

We also want to see Ngai Tahu take the lead and form stronger relationships with other iwi so that we can take advantage of the economies of scale that joint ventures with other tribes can offer.

And we want, apart from issues of commercial sensitivy, utter transparency. No more PR spin glossing up the tribes performance - tell it like it is.

We are well pleased with todays events as every Ngai Tahi beneficiary should be. We firmly believe that together Potiki and Stone have the brains, financial prudence and wise leadership to take the tribe forward. Kia Kaha to you both.

CRUSH 'EM JUDITH

2009-10-30T17:44:00.003+13:00

We have been waiting for police to be given some serious firepower to tackle organised crime - that these days often has a respectable face.

Essentially it means that if someone cant explain where they got the money to live in a mansion and have a big boat and a few Harleys out back then they can be seized.

Its the type of law crime bosses fear.

Well done to Minister of Police Judith Collins for setting up the Asset Recovery Unit.

We have blogged repeatedly on the Headhunters gang and its time someone took a good hard look at how they live and how they manage to fund their lifestyles.

and we were delighted that the Tribesmen were the first targets of the Unit.

Go get em boys -

THE GREAT AUSTRALIAN BITE

2009-10-30T17:08:00.003+13:00

We adore Great White sharks... and we wear the tooth of a 16 footer around our neck that our dad caught about 45 years ago. So were were agog at this story from Aussie where a shark took a serious bite out of another shark...

yikes.