Steve's Blog

Why I Love My Wife

2008-07-22T21:47:00.002-04:00

Me: I can't believe CoinStar takes 9% of your money when you turn in change.

Her: 8.9%. But it's better than rolling all of that myself, especially with 12 lbs of coins.

Me: It should be easier with that much.

Her: Why?

Me: 'Cause then you've got enough to make full rolls of coins.

Her: Yeah, but then I'd have to go find a bank to visit during business hours.

Me: You WORK in the 5th 3rd Building, you dipshit!

Her: Oh, yeah.

Busy Weekend

2008-07-21T00:13:00.003-04:00

It's midnight on Sunday and I'm completely exhausted. Too much activity this weekend!

Saturday afternoon, we headed to Wayland to meet up with Mom, Dad and Becky to drop off some DVDs and take Mom out for her birthday lunch. I'm not sure she'd have picked Maria's at Green Lake, but I know I've been jonesing for my favorite sandwich there. Even talked the table into ordering canoli's, 'cause I haven't had those in awhile either. So, Mom's set for entertainment for the summer break -- dropped off lots of TV series' for her.

Saturday night we went to Rivertown Crossings mall to catch The Dark Knight. WOW! I didn't think the theatre would be that busy this far into opening weekend, but there were a metric buttload (it's an international standard of measurement, look it up!) of people for the 10pm showing. We ended up in the 2nd row, craning our neck to catch the action. It wasn't nearly as disorienting as trying to watch Batman Begins on the IMAX, but it was close. Heath Ledger was incredible as The Joker. I'm still laughing about Christian Bales' voice as Batman. It's somewhere close to Clint Eastwood in Million Dollar Baby.. gravely, whispered threats, really. I'm going to try working that voice in to my routine, randomly ordering drive-thru food as Batman.

Sunday we headed over to Dee-troit for Elyse and Colette's birthday party. First stop was Mike and Denise's for some REALLY YUMMY cupcakes. The frosting was so close to Cool Whip, I was in heaven. From there, we headed to The Palace for a Detroit Shock basketball game. Mike and Denise had somehow managed to get a suite for the game and catered in food and drinks. It was an awesome time and put me right into sugar shock from all the junk food I consumed -- salad, chicken strips, baked pita chips, soft pretzel, popcorn, and cotton candy.

Elyse is just absolutely the most adorable little girl I've ever met. If we had a kid, she'd be the ideal. Hilariously playful and eyes that make you just swoon. Mike's gonna have a hard time ever saying "no" to that kid, 'cause I think she'll sucker you in to damn near anything. I tried convincing her and Colette that my name was "Bobbay" (complete with a funny pronunciation), but I was told that they thought I was "pulling their leg."

The Shock game was pretty good, but my enjoyment was sort of overshadowed by my dislike for their coach, Bill Laimbeer. The guy's a schlub. Dressed like a used car salesman, and apparently still adored by the Dee-troit fans. Can't understand that at all.

We left at the end of the 3rd quarter, 'cause we still had a two hour drive home. We stopped at the Palace store on our way out so I could pick up a hooded sweatshirt I liked and Lynn could pick up a hat. Once in the car, we hit a gas station for road pops and headed home. Lynn finally let on that it would be OK for me to sleep, so I dozed from Detroit to Portland (thanks sweetie!).

Good thing it's an empty house next weekend, 'cause I need to catch up on my sleep!!!

Must Be Video Week

2008-07-17T23:26:00.002-04:00

Sports Mascot Bloopers - Site might be NSFW, but the video's pretty darn funny.

I think it must be the heat that's preventing me from actually WRITING anything this week... too lazy to be inspired, so I'm just linking to other's inspiring work.

See ya when it cools down!

Always Wear a Helmet

2008-07-17T02:04:00.003-04:00

This guy is the poster child for the long-lasting effects of closed head injuries...

Monday Giggle

2008-07-14T20:30:00.001-04:00

http://view.break.com/536276 - Watch more free videos

Amazing Photo Blog

2008-07-09T21:24:00.002-04:00

The Big Picture is a photo blog run by Boston.com that posts amazing photography in large sizes.

Today's images are of China's preparation for the Olympic games -- paramilitary training for possible terrorist attacks. Just stunning images, check 'em out!

Trish needs these!

2008-06-23T22:14:00.003-04:00

DVD Project

2008-06-23T03:34:00.002-04:00

A few weeks ago, I decided to tackle a huge project -- getting rid of the big pile of DVDs that took up two bookshelves in our entertainment room.

The process of converting all of the DVDs into files to be stored on the file server didn't seem like it would be difficult, just time consuming. It turned out to be somewhat expensive, too.

I'm using three of the PCs we have in the house -- my Windows server, a Mac Mini, and my MacBook Pro laptop -- to do the conversion from DVD to computer files. Handbrake is a cross-platform app that can run on all of the machines to do the heavy lifting.

All three machines are roughly the same speed, so ripping is done at about real-time on all of them. So, a 30-minute TV episode converts into a file in about 30 minutes.

The obvious problem is that I'm trying to maintain a good deal of quality in the video that's output. Since my main intention is to be able to easily view this stuff on the big screen, I'm converting everything to PS3 compatible video. That way, we fire up the PS3, browse for what we want to watch, and see it on the 46" LCD.

I'm down to the last "15 feet" of shelf space to be converted, all television series (I buy ALOT of TV on DVD).

I was also down to my last few gig of drive space on the file server. So, I got 4 new 1TB drives for the file server. They arrived on Friday morning and I've spent all weekend swapping them in, allow them to synchronize, then swapping in the next drive.

All told, I've got nearly 48 hours invested in swapping in the new drives. When I'm finally done (it's saying just a few minutes more on the last drive now), I'll have roughly 1500GB of free space to work with. Let's hope that's enough!

For the curious, the time to sync the drives was really strange:

Drive 1: 25 hours
Drive 2: 8 hours
Drive 3: 7 hours
Drive 4: 6 hours

A Good Place for Our Next Vacation

2008-06-22T04:46:00.003-04:00

Whatta ya think, sweetie? Look like a good time??

NBA Basketball

2008-06-18T00:21:00.005-04:00

I'm not an NBA guy, but I'm always good for cheering for the underdog. I watched the last half of the Celtics-Lakers game tonight, hoping to see the Celtics win. It's been over 20 years, and I love watching "historic" teams like that make a run at renewed greatness.

Once again, I have no idea who any of these players are. I recognize Kobe Bryant's name, know who Doc Rivers is (though I couldn't have told you who he coached), and know of the legendary Phil Jackson. Strange that my mind still pictures the Chicago Bulls version of Phil Jackson, not the Pillsbury Doughboy version that I saw on TV tonight.

I was sort of surprised by the Gatorade over Rivers' head at the end of the game. Is this common in NBA championships? I'm familiar with it in football, but haven't ever seen it happen anywhere else (though I'd imagine I wouldn't be surprised to see it in baseball).

All said, I think I'm still an NHL guy...

First of all, maybe I'm watching the wrong two teams, but is it possible for basketball games to go more than a couple minutes without a foul? Are these guys that bad at their jobs that they can't perform without breaking the rules frequently?

Second, when did they stop calling too many players on the court when teams are clearly standing on the court (over the line) during play?

Third, what's the rule on traveling now? I'm watching guys run in from what seems like half-court without dribbling.

Fourth, the game is just "over" too early. Fine, this game was a complete blowout, but why did everyone seem to quit playing with 10 minutes left in the 4th quarter? I understand you're down by 30, but I've watched 2 minutes take 45 because of fouls and free throws and whatnot to tie up a 10 point game. Shouldn't you at least be TRYING to win? Why are starters being pulled out of the game for their ovation? Shouldn't they be in there trying to win by even more? I've got no problem with running up the score... this is supposed to be a game between the two best teams in the league, so if someone's feelings get hurt, boo-friggin-hoo. You're a professional athlete, so wipe the snot off your nose, practice, and try not to get embarrassed next time, Francis.

Lastly, why is it that during the post-game interviews, I can work out what the Swedish guy who's been in the US for 3 years can say, but the guy who GREW UP in Chicago can't manage to answer a question in a language I'm able to decipher? I get that I'm a pasty white guy, but damn. You'd think someone would spend a couple minutes in front of a mirror repeating "This is an incredible feeling. We've got a heck of a team and we worked hard for this."

And why is it that when the game is over the court turns to complete MAYHEM? When the Stanley Cup is won, the two teams are the only people on the ice. They congratulate each other and then the Cup's awarded. There's some respect from everyone involved about how things are supposed to proceed. The winning team celebrates by skating the cup around for the cheering fans... STILL IN THE STANDS.

Boston Garden was flooded with people on the floor and really, with all the chaos, I just turned off the game. I have no idea if there's an award ceremony or not, but how can a player even enjoy the moment of triumph or the trophy when you're worried about your brand new hat being ripped off by an over-zealous fan?!

I don't think I'm cut out for basketball...

It's that time!

2008-06-16T22:29:00.007-04:00

Since Lynn has threatened to unsubscribe, I figured it was time to put an update here.

Did I learn anything new at school today? No.

What have I been up to? Not much.

It's all the same conversation, just 20 or 30 years later...

We did go to a Tigers game on Sunday. Lynn ended up with an extra ticket and managed to talk me into making the trek over. I told her that since I was the guest, she'd be paying for all my food and souvenirs. Well, I got food and souvenirs, but I ended up paying for them. I managed to gulp down a Hebrew National hot dog, a SuperPretzel, a bag of cinnamon almonds, a Mountain Dew and a bottle of water and picked up a nice hat and jersey too.

Picking out a jersey for a sport you don't care much about is difficult. I'm familiar with some of the names (enough to say yes/no about whether they're on the team), but as for whether they're "good" or not, I'd be stumped. Questioned about whether they're "cool," I'd also be stumped.

I went with the safe choice -- Jim Leyland, the manager. There's a guy that I can respect! Sneaking out of the dugout in the middle of a game to get a few drags on a cigarette, and SERIOUSLY downplaying suggestions about the volume of his habit. The story I'd read about him the other day was about reporters speculating that he had a 7 pack a day habit. He tells 'em it's more like a pack-and-a-half, and that he doesn't even smoke the whole thing, so it's really just a pack.

For non-smokers' reference, that is a tell-tale sign of a serious smoker! Anyone that plays the "I don't smoke the whole thing" card KNOWS he's smoking way more than is "socially acceptable."

At least from the interviews I've seen, he seems like an old-school hard ass that doesn't take much crap from his players (or the reporters). Leyland it is!

First, a quote from a story about a charity auction winner who gets to be "co-manager" with Leyland for a game:

Leyland was joined in the dugout yesterday by a businessman who'd paid $10,000 to be the Tigers' honorary manager. The man came without cigarettes, to which Leyland said, "He'll be smoking by the third inning. You want to be the real Jim Leyland, you better bring a carton of Marlboros."

And finally, from the Jim Leyland Facts website:

Jim Leyland is Chuck Norris' Tiger.

The last time Jim Leyland said something optimistic, half the world died of the plague.

Jim Leyland once got out of a bases loaded jam with a paper clip, a blow torch, and a rookie reliever called up from AAA Evansville.

Jim Leyland's calendar goes from March 31st to April 2nd because nobody fools Jim Leyland.

Jim Leyland tells the sun if it is a day game, or a night game.

It was a nice day, apart from the 30-or-so minutes of rain.

Red Wings

2008-06-03T02:06:00.003-04:00

I gotta quit reminding my coworker to watch the Wings games... Both times I've done it, they've lost.

Telemarketers

2008-06-03T01:52:00.003-04:00

One of the joys of working in IT is that we get some of the most inane telemarketing calls on the face of the planet. This afternoon, someone called claiming that I'd mailed in a business reply card from a magazine I don't even receive and that I'd be receiving a complimentary coffee cup from their company, a supplier of screen wipes.

I told them "No, thank you." And the conversation went downhill from there.

Her: "What do you mean?"

Me: "I don't want anything from a company that so blatantly lies."

Her: "I haven't lied to you."

Me: "I can count about four of them so far: that I sent in a business reply card from a magazine I don't even receive requesting a coffee cup I have no need for and expressing interest in a product I have no use for."

Her: "Maybe one of your co-workers sent in the card in your name."

Me: "No, they didn't so quit lying."

Her: "You sound like a fag."

Me: "Thanks!" .

Granted, "Thanks!" wasn't one of my top 10 retorts. But, I'm alright with it in this context because (a) it's a work line and at least I wouldn't have anything to feel guilty about if a recording were replayed, and (b) for once, I got to take the high road (nice view!).

My coworker (who got a similar call with a less spectacular outcome last week) and I chuckled for quite awhile about whether "You sound like a fag" was a selling technique they've found particularly successful for them.

Was the conversation supposed to turn around at that point, with me realizing that these scammy screen wipes might be able to wipe the gay away?

We contemplated asking a couple of our sales guys for their opinion on the likelihood of closing a sale with a line like that, but thought better of it.

So, if you're in the market for screen wipes, stay away from a company called Chemware. They've gotta be on the east coast somewhere, because we don't raise 'em that ballsy in the heartland.

Back to TV Heaven

2008-05-31T17:45:00.003-04:00

A very nice installer from Charter came to the apartment this morning and got us all fixed up. His answer about what was wrong essentially boiled down to a "they rebuilt your account and now it's working". Guess the answer is sometimes to use the Big Hammer. :)

Wings game tonight, so I'm extremely happy that the HD portion of the cable is again working.

Slogging my way through ripping all of our DVDs into video files that can be stored on the file server at the house. I've gotten about 110 done so far, and that's probably 2/3rds of the movie DVDs. They go quick, with 3 computers ripping movies at once. I'm doing the movies first 'cause at least it feels like making progress... the 6-disc TV series are going to feel like they take a long time. I'm still amazed at how many series' we have on DVD...

That's about the gist of it for the day...

Colossal group of morons

2008-05-24T02:34:00.002-04:00

So much for my happiness with Charter Cable...

The new TiVo box requires CableCards to allow it to display the encrypted signal from Charter Cable. The tech came out this afternoon around 3pm and installed the card and reported that we were all set.

Yeah, not so much. We get channels 2 through 20. That's it. Nothing above 20, no basic, no extended, no HD, no premium.

I call the tech support line tonight and they try various things. Nothing happens. They suggest a new tech visit, but because of the holiday, the soonest they can get anyone here would be Wednesday.

So, I'm supposed to take another partial day off work because you dispatched an incompetent moron this time? Well, they can do it next Saturday -- at least I won't have to take a day off!

The tech support person suggested I drive to Holland to visit the dispatch office tomorrow -- open 9am to noon. Guess that's my best option if I want to be able to record the hockey game tomorrow night.

Near as we can figure, the tech gave them a wrong serial number for one of the pieces of hardware and no one on the support desk is able to override that.

How is it that all the tech did was bring a CableCard and make a phone call, and I've already GOT the CableCard and I can't call this in myself. Oh, they don't handle provisioning, that's done by dispatch. And they don't have rights to overwrite the bad info for the customer.

What a bunch of incompetent morons...

Here's how to fix this:

1) TRAIN your installers to do their jobs correctly and completely. Ensure they CHECK THEIR WORK before they leave.

2) GET IT RIGHT on the first visit. I paid $30 for the tech to install this because I was told it was too complicated for customers to do. Apparently too complicated for the installers as well!

3) APPEAR TO CARE about getting it right for the customer. Why was there no time available on the next installation day for a tech to fix their shoddy work? As it is, I get slotted into whatever day works for Charter. If they'd offered to return on Saturday and get this fixed up (it's a normal install day for them), I'd have been slightly happier.

4) GET IT RIGHT THE FIRST TIME! From what I'm able to understand, there are only three friggin numbers involved here... how is it even possible to get them wrong?!

Tivo HD!

2008-05-20T22:23:00.002-04:00

I'm a HUGE TiVo fan. I've owned two of the Series 1's, two Series 2's and now have a Series 3 box that arrived today.

It took awhile to pick up the Series 3 box simply because I'm not a fan of subscription services. TiVo requires a service contract in order to download television programming information and they've been a bit reticent about offering lifetime subscriptions lately. I'm not sure why, but I much prefer handing TiVo $300 in one shot rather than the $9-12/month that their normal subscription requires. Considering we tend to keep the boxes around for quite awhile, it somehow works out in the end.

The original Series 1 that we purchased had it's modem fried by lightning. At the time, there weren't any other options available to download the guide data, so we called TiVo. They offered to transfer the lifetime subscription to a second box, so we bought one. Shortly after that, the hacking community came up with network cards that could be installed into the boxes to allow them to download their guide data over the Internet. At least one of the Series 1 boxes is still in use, garnering a new TiVo addict in the process (seriously, it's damn addictive being able to pause/rewind live TV!).

The Series 2 boxes are still with us. One is sitting unused in a closet of the computer room, soon to be pressed into service. The other is connected to the TV in the bedroom. It's got a DVD burner on it, so Lynn can record shows and burn 'em to disk for people at work.

The new Series 3 box is connected to the big flat panel in the entertainment room, just waiting for the cards to be installed.

TiVo, as a company, hasn't ever really done as well as it should (especially for all the money I've given them!). Setting up the new box tonight reminds me why -- there's very little functional difference between the original box and the new one. The only thing that got me to buy a new one is the ability to watch and record HD... Too bad, really, because it could do lots more. The PS3 that sits next to it can stream movies from the disk server, play games, and browse the web. TiVo only records TV.

Party store this afternoon

2008-05-16T01:16:00.001-04:00

Lottery: a tax on people who are bad at math.
Originally uploaded by Куртис Перри

I stopped at the party store for my usual lunch (Cool Ranch Doritos and a Diet Coke) and ended up behind three women buying lottery tickets.

They chatted amongst themselves about the numbers that "had to fall out" as if it were a certainty that every 4-digit number has it's scheduled date in the sunshine.

All three had attended the Obama rally the night before as they were showing off their t-shirts and buttons and discussing the price difference between items they bought inside the arena and outside (2 for $30 inside, 2 for $25 outside).

As they continued talking, they discussed a common friend who was considering taking a buyout from her employer -- she'd worked for the company for 10 years and they were offering $6000 for her to quit. 10 years seniority at a probably good paying job versus $6000 in this crappy Michigan economy. And they all believed she should take it!

As you can guess, I was standing there for quite awhile. Between the three of them, they probably dropped $150 on various combinations of lucky numbers. I have no understanding of how the Daily 3 or Daily 4 lottery can be played, but these women seemed to have all the code words mastered.

When I finally got back to the truck, I couldn't help but think about just how far away from their chosen presidential candidate these women were.

Spinning my wheels

2008-05-06T02:10:00.002-04:00

Today was one of those days at the office where I got just about nothing accomplished. The day started off normally, but quickly went downhill as soon as my butt hit the chair.

The morning started off with a new employee coming into my office to find out how to edit a PDF. I told her Acrobat was installed on her machine and should be able to do that. "Yeah, but I don't know how." "I'm pretty sure there's a help menu."

Not 10 minutes later, she was back because of an error message when editing the PDF. The font used in the document isn't a standard font, so not installed on her machine. Acrobat won't let you edit the text without the font installed. I tell her she should contact the document author, find out the name of the font and where it can be purchased.

Another 10 minutes go by before she's back at my desk because she's now three applications away from her task and is completely confused. I ask if she's determined the font needed. Yes, Helvetica Neue. Well, it turns out the document is using Helvetica Neue Condensed, again, a non-standard font. Did you contact the author to find out where to buy the font? No, I found it on my system, but I get errors when I try to use it.

So, I follow her back to her office and watch her flail through applications, help menus, and pages of help docs she's printed out. She's frustrated, but won't listen to me ask her to walk me through what she's trying to do.

Let me pass along an IT tip: when the IT guy asks you to walk through what you're trying to do, STICK TO THE TASK AT HAND. You brought me down because you seemingly wanted my assistance, so let's start where I ask you to start. And when I ask you to do something, DO ONLY THAT. Don't go flipping through 3 applications and 2 help menus.

We finally established that it was not the laptop, the operating system, nor the application software that was at issue, but that this employee had clearly oversold their abilities to a gullible hiring manager. They'd never used the application in question and had absolutely no idea where to start.

After that was another newbie employee (sensing a trend here?) asking about some training for Access query training. I tell them that my day is looking grim at this point and I'd have to get back to them later in the week to set something up.

I dread doing the training. The training is largely pissing up a rope. The user has no idea what they're looking for, no experience working with databases, and doesn't seem like the kind of person that's going to be able to understand joins or result sets. I may be better off finding out what reports they're looking for and generating them myself.

We use Reporting Services, so I can design the report with parameter prompts for the user to fill in for their needs. Easy enough, we'll see if I get off that easily.

After that, it was an hour with my boss in my office, working through cost estimates and standards. We have one machine that works slightly different than all of our other machines. On most machines, one fed piece can generate either 1 or multiple "finished" pieces. On this machine, we have the ability to feed two pieces at a time and get two finished pieces out the other side.

We finally finish that work up around 1pm and I head to lunch. I really needed that hour alone 'cause the afternoon didn't look like it was going to get any better.

Back in the office, I did some quick tasks and was rejoined by my boss with a different issue. We find that there's a difference in the way an application processes things depending on who the user is. If she logs on, she gets one thing happening. When I log on, it works differently. We track it down to a setting on our server, but it's an application bug that needs to be reported to the vendor. It'll take a year to get a fix, so reporting it wasn't time critical.

Back to my own work for a bit, then a couple issues from another user on some screwy work done in their department. I fix up one and promise to take a look at the other.

Around 4pm, I get a call from a colleague at another company a few states away. We laugh about the absurdity that I've been dispatched to a couple customer sites in the last couple weeks. My personality isn't generally the face you want to present to customers. I remind him that I can be charming when I decide to be. He calls because he's got a question on some data imports that he wants to do and figured I'd be the guy to talk to.

Sure enough, I walk him through how we do tasks like that (we don't use the stuff he was looking at, but do similar stuff).

The problem when talking to this guy is that a simple question turns into an hour-long conversation. I love chatting with him though, 'cause he's always got the goods about everyone else using the enterprise software we have in common.

About 4:45, my boss returns but figures out I'm going to be on the phone for awhile (the bottle of windex in my hand, cleaning my desk was probably a good indicator). I tell her I'll stop down when I'm done. Oops, turns out that in our trouble-shooting, I've set her permissions to read-only throughout the software. Reset the permissions and take a few jabs about how a lesser person might be nervous about their status.

I completely miss a few calls from my coworker about an email issue we're still battling. I finally make it out of the office at 5:15 and head home.

I really hate days like this. Everything is busted into 10 minute chunks that mean you get absolutely no time to refocus on what it was you were working on before the last interruption. Let's hope Tuesday goes better...

In Lancaster, OH

2008-04-30T21:18:00.002-04:00

Made it down to Lancaster, OH today with nearly no problems. The drive through Michigan was uneventful and most of Ohio went pretty smoothly. We ended up passing through Columbus, OH at rush hour and the GPS told us to get in the left lane, but apparently didn't mean THE left lane.

The GPS can use celebrity voices, so we traveled with Mr T as our guide this afternoon. "Turn Left in 100 yards, and don't give me no jibba-jabba" was funny, but "Turn Around Fool! Don't make me come out of this machine and kick your ass!" was even better.

Did Texas Roadhouse for dinner, it's as bad as I'd heard. Not recommended.

Realized a few minutes ago that I'd had NO sugar all day, so made an emergency run to the vending machine to fulfill my quota. I hope the guests on the first floor weren't hoping for refreshment, because I emptied their peanut M&M's and Diet Coke!

Up tomorrow bright and early to head to the customer site. We'll be training them on how to use our business system to run cost estimates. My job is to go through a complete cost estimate for them, showing how the costs are derived. Not sure it's fair that they get it spoonfed while I had to spent 7 years learning the twisted machinations involved, but there we are!

Time flies!

2008-04-29T02:49:00.002-04:00

Looked back at the archive of posts here and found that roughly 1 year ago at this time, we were ankle deep in water from a busted water heater.

Sure doesn't feel like a year ago!

So Unlike Me

2008-04-29T01:19:00.011-04:00

I hope everyone will indulge me for just a moment. I need to do something that goes completely against my personality. Certainly the personality that I share with each of you here so infrequently.

I'm feeling a need to rant about random people I've never even met for just a moment.

I know, you're shocked. "Where is this coming from?!" you may be asking yourself.

Today's post is meant specifically for those smarmy minivan drivers that have decided that it's not enough for the world to know that little Suzy made the 9th grade honor roll. After all, they've been unceremoniously shoved down the slippery slope of moral supremacy by the 18-34 male demographic proudly acknowledging that either they've (a) knocked up said honor student, or (b) supplied them with illegal drugs.

What's a frustrated suburban housewife to do in such impossible circumstances? Why not advertise the whole stinking BROOD on the rear window!

Am I supposed to feel a little twinge in my heart, viewing their collected happiness displayed for the world? The rest of us can tell that it's chemically induced -- when's the last time you've seen a normal person with a smile set 30 degrees off to the side of their face?

Should I be overjoyed that little Suzy FINALLY has a little sister and a dog? I mean, it's been 18 months since they had little Bobby and the neighbors are starting to talk! (It should be noted that the baby sticker seems a bit gender inspecific. Am I supposed to be rolling down my window to inquire as to the whether the latest "miracle" is a boy or girl?)

Me? I'm struggling just to find the right level of concern about who'll look after the cat while the family is pulling themselves from the twisted mass of minivan after barrel-rolling into the ditch.

Now that I think about it...

2008-04-28T01:55:00.003-04:00

We were watching the Wings / Avs hockey game the other night when Lynn turns to me and says:

"How cool is it that those guys get to fight at work?!"

I love this girl!

Traveling fool

2008-04-26T00:50:00.002-04:00

It's been quiet at home, which makes up for the chaotic situations at work. Last week, I spent 2 days in St. Paul, MN working on a data exchange project for a customer. This week I've been in the office. Next week, I'll be spending a day in Lancaster, OH doing some training for a new customer.

It's strange to have all of this travel going on. In the 8 or 9 years I've done IT work for my employer, I don't think I've ever traveled to a customer site. Now, in the span of a month, I'll be making three trips (one is another data exchange project, but the customer's here in town).

Peaks and valleys, I suppose. Or maybe a sign of things to come as business starts expanding. No real way to tell at this point, but I'm enjoying my trips.

Weekly update

2008-04-21T00:31:00.001-04:00

Sorry for the absence, boys and girls. I was on a 5-state tour at the end of last week and didn't get around to posting like I should have.

I left on Wednesday around 10:30am and by 11am realized that I'd forgotten my cell phone on the dresser. I contemplated turning around for it, but decided I'd make do without it. Beyond making Lynn nervous about my being on the road without it, it wasn't a problem going without.

By noon, I'd made the Indiana border. By 1pm, I was downtown Chicago. Lots and lots of toll roads later, I finally hit Wisconsin around 3pm. I made one stop in Benton Harbor for gas, another at the Belvidere Oasis (about a half-hour from the Wisconsin border) for a potty break and lunch.

Have you ever been so cramped up needing to pee that you're actually disappointed by how little ends up coming out? I mean, for that much pain you expect to have GALLONS waiting to be unleashed. Overflowing urinals and gasping patrons were what I'd imagined on my hobbling trip into the bathroom.

Next stop was at the Wisconsin Dells. I didn't get much past the closest gas station by the highway, so I have no idea if there's more to the place than the water slides and hotels. Looks like a tourist trap kind of place to me.

Finally made it to St Paul around 8pm and realized that I'd printed directions to the customer's plant but nothing for the hotel. Luckily, it was extremely close and I didn't have any problems getting there.

The software installation at the plant went fine. I think their IT guy was a little skeptical that I'd be able to have them setup in 2 days, but I was finished in about 6 hours of on-site work between those two days. Easy peasy, and another small inflation to my ego.

The drive back took alot longer. It seemed like I just couldn't get any momentum going. First, a gas stop, then a snack stop, then I decide I hate hitting Scan on the radio so I decide a stop for an iPod. Yeah, that's how my life works.. an iPod is an "I feel like..." decision...

HERE IS THE SHOCKER: I WENT INSIDE A WALMART.

My 37-year streak is dead. I succumbed to the pressure. I wanted an iPod so bad, I finally gave up on finding a Target store (it'd easily been 10 exits that were devoid of civilized stores) and visited a friggin' Walmart.

It was everything I feared it would be.

If you have any doubt about a US obesity epidemic, visit a Walmart. If you doubt that a vast portion of this fine country doesn't have adequate dental coverage, visit a Walmart. If you have any doubt that the illiterate are far out-breeding the educated in this country, visit a Walmart.

I shit you not, I watched a minimum wage clerk spend 20 minutes on the phone trying to activate a cell phone for an Amigo-cart driving fatso with a "These Colors Don't Run" trucker cap. I believe the problem may have been the sausage fingers she was using to hit buttons. When the instructions say hit 7, that doesn't mean 7-and-all-the-buttons-around-it.

I got my iPod and scurried out of there before store security caught me and "tagged" me with a blow dart like a nature documentary. I've taken three showers since getting home, just trying to scrub that experience from my body.

In the parking lot, I climbed back into my truck, pulled out the laptop, synced the iPod and burned rubber getting out of there.

From there on, the trip went really quickly. Wisconsin seems to stretch on forever, but once you escape that state, Illinois goes quickly and Indiana is over before you know it. There was a nice fog over Chicago that completely obscured Gary, IN on the way through. Was kind of nice!

Talked Lynn into taking the brand new iPod (just 6 hours old!) and I ordered the size I really wanted online. Thank god I don't have to walk around knowing I was listening to a WALMART IPOD!

What the hell?

2008-04-11T02:22:00.001-04:00