Tattlerama

Old Samples and New Samples

2008-07-19T10:13:00.001+08:00

If, let’s say, your DNA has already been extracted in 1998 for a criminal case, and the object on which the said DNA evidence has been paraded in and out of court every day for the whole world to see, and the word DNA evidence has been mentioned in every single line of newspaper reports on a daily basis so much so that an illiterate kampung guy who taps rubber for a living and doesn’t read newspaper and only gets his dose of current news from an afternoon coffee drinking session with his buddies also knows pretty well what DNA is, then why isn’t that DNA records already in the police database?

DNA doesn’t change. At least, that’s what I understand from years and years of watching CSI. It’s there, and it’s not going anywhere. And if it’s already obtained by the police, the genetic fingerprints should stay in the police records for comparison in future cases. Whether or not the DNA sample they still have in their possession is too old is immaterial as what they need should be the DNA profile, the genetic particulars of the sample which should have already been on records, already processed and in print, and not the DNA itself.

Unless the DNA sample is needed for more than just comparative purposes, which is therefore highly suspicious.

And more alarmingly, that despite making such a big deal about the DNA back in 1998 (10 years after the breakthrough in DNA technology and the first conviction in England based on DNA evidence), the Malaysian police has not even bothered to set up a database for DNA evidence they have collected thus far. How far behind are we in scientific technology?

What hope is there to find the killers of Nurin Jazlin and other victims of atrocious crimes then?

Of Ghosts and Ghouls

2008-07-14T16:29:00.008+08:00

Yesterday, my neighbour told me that a few weeks ago, she saw a creature of what looked like a tiny doll-man spying on her from her window sill. Upon leaning over to get a closer look, that creature flew away.

In Malay black magic culture she said, there is a creature the size of a doll, approximately 5 or 6 inches in height, traditionally capable of being kept like a pet by some people to put spells on their enemies. This creature is said to be able to stick to windows and walls, and fly/leap from one place to another.

My neighbour went on to tell me that our entire rows of houses have been inflicted with all sorts of woes, in that some neighbours have been quarrelling, and others have been having all sorts of ailments for weeks, and a few complains about having seen something flying around in their houses, yet they could not see what it is. This is all, she said, courtesy of this so-called creature.

And here’s the best part; my neighbour could see this creature because she has been a vegetarian these past year, and as such had purified her body and so she can see things invisible to the normal human eye.

Well, if you asked me, perhaps she was just hungry and was seeing things indeed! Go eat a cow, woman!!

But if I were to swallow that story hook line and sinker, it would have been convenient to blame my 3 weeks long TB-like cough on this little guy.

As it is, I am inclined to believe that someone played a prank on her by putting a Ken doll on her window and pulling it away with a string or something so that it appeared to have flown away.

Or it could have been a lizard and that her eyes were playing tricks on her.

Or simply, she’s cuckoo.

Generally, I’m a skeptic when it comes to ghosts and supernatural beings. To say outright that I do not believe in ghosts would probably be a lie, since I do get spooked whenever I hear a ghost story, and I had long been a die-hard fan of supernatural stories like Buffy, Angel, Charmed and Supernatural, and that after watching The Ring I did not answer the phone for a week, and that when the floor tiles in my living room popped out a couple of years back, the first thing that came to my mind was poltergeist!!!

I have been taught to believe that there are supernatural elements out there in this world other than us. They are God’s creation and they don’t usually bother us. I don’t have any problem believing in that. But I personally have never experienced anything paranormal, so I do not know whether to believe in these things beyond the facts that they do exist somewhere.

Back in high school, every now and then there was a so-called ‘sighting’ by a few of my peers in Asrama Puteri. The boarding school I went to was said to be a very haunted place and that during the Japanese occupation, it was used as a military headquarters. So, there were a lot of stories being circulated among other things, about students hearing the sounds of chains being dragged on the concrete floor and ghoulish voices screaming. Then there was also a story about how our Asrama Puteri is protected by a Hantu Galah (an extremely tall being, with extremely long limbs, enabling it to leap over tall buildings in a single bound….:-) …Okay, so I borrowed that line from Superman, so sue me), and that this Hantu Galah was known to have chased away countless bad boys coming over at night to peep at us girls (Good job there, Hantu Galah guy! Bravo!!!!)

I have seen a few of my friends being traumatized from their encounters with spooky apparitions and I have heard 1st hand accounts of how these people, friends of mine, had all these harrowing experiences from out of this world.

But I have never had any single experience of the sort on my own (not that I want to, mintak simpang!!!).

My mother has one simple explanation to this, “Kalau dah perangai macam hantu, mana ada hantu nak kacau lagi, dah kawan dia!!”.

*Sigh*.

I made a simple research and found a glossary of Malaysian ghosts in an article in The Star a few years ago. It says this:-

Pontianak or kuntilanak – A type of vampire in Malay folklore. (One of the spookiest of the lot in my opinion. Made spookier by Maria Menado but lost some of the spookiness and became the object of lust instead when played by Maya Karin)
Langsuir – A version of pontianak but said to be the deadliest banshee in Malay folklore. (ishhh… this one takut giler weyyy….)
Manananggal – The spirit of an older, beautiful woman capable of severing its upper torso to fly into the night with huge bat wings to prey on unsuspecting pregnant women in their homes. (or is it penanggal? The Indonesian version is Sundel Bolong, I believe)
Toyol – A mythical spirit in Malay mythology. It is a small creature created from a dead human foetus using black magic. (This one is used by its owner to steal stuff).
Orang bunian – Said to inhabit jungles and are similar to elves except they are invisible to most people. (They say this one kidnaps the people they like, and those in their captivities actually live among us but are invisible to our eyes)
Orang minyak (oily man) – According to history, Satan offered to grant worldly desires if the orang minyak raped 21 virgin girls within seven days and worship Satan as a God. These orang minyak usually douse themselves with oil and run around naked. Although the orang minyak is believed to be human, there are countless stories of them being related to the supernatural world. (Can’t we just light a match and throw at him since he is covered in oil and all?)
Orang halus (invisible people) – These dwarfs usually cannot be encountered unless one is purified by cleansing the body and wearing clean clothes. They live in the jungles and are conversant in Malay! (Ah, this must be it!)
Hantu galah – A male ghost, believed to be gigantic, with extremely long and thin limbs. (The security guard at my old Asrama Puteri)
Hantu pisang (a Mah Meri belief) – A beautiful ghost that is supposedly formed when the heart of the banana bud is pierced with a nail attached to a thread. (Never heard of this)
Mumiai (pronounced moo-mee-eye) – A poltergeist who throws things around and attacks people who are especially lazy or criminal. – (The only poltergeist I know is the one in the Mat Salleh movie, not this mumiai thing)

Okay so, assuming that my neighbour was not bluffing, the Ken doll look-alike would be ‘orang halus’ I guess. Our respective jungle-like backyard could be their little vacation spot or something. And if that is so, there must also be Barbie dolls look-alike flying around somewhere outside our kitchens! (Somebody call Mattel!! )

That being the case, I must stop eating cows so that I get to see these things….or mustn’t I?

I hope all this talk of hantus and everything won’t affect me tonight.

*Shudders*

I Am Numb And I Have No Opinion

2008-07-08T12:42:00.005+08:00

I haven’t said a peep since it all started. Honestly, I don’t know what to make of all this. I’m sick to the pit of my stomach and I just want to puke all day. The way my cats retched and gagged and puked their guts out everytime after they eat grass, that’s how sick I feel of the whole thing.

I’m talking of course, of the cold and flu that had been bugging me for almost 2 weeks. What else do you think I was talking about???

Oh, THAT!!

Yeah, THAT too I guess. Although I don’t quite feel like announcing loudly to the world on my blog and then have it all reported in all the newspapers of how sick and disgusted I am about it all (like some people), as if I had been sooooo holy all these while. Eh eleh….

So goody goody! Go flash your booby! Tsk Tsk.

My cold and flu has subsided but my cough is refusing to budge. I cough so loud I think my tonsils are about to come off. This nasty wind is spewed out straight from my lungs at at least 127 mph -- as fast as Serena Williams’ Guinness-Record-Breaking Fastest Serve ever!!! -- and it brings along with it germs of all kinds I’m sure.

As much as I want to keep all these germs inside of me (I’m getting attached to them, they’re like pets), I know I have to let them out at some point, so I have no qualms about spreading them all over my office now that I’m back at work. I have no doubt that my DNA and my pet-germs are all over the place today.

Aside from this nasty cough, life goes on as usual. My work had piled up since last week and my boss had emailed several reminders for me to report to him. Thankfully he didn’t bother me while I was sick, but now that I’m back at the office, I’m gonna start to tidy up some things quickly as I don’t suppose I can use the excuse of “I’m not feeling well” forever.

My cats must be missing me like crazy today I’m sure, for having spent a very very long weekend at home, they have gotten so used to being let out to the yard every day and enjoying the sun, and eating grass to their hearts’ content and then throwing up their stomach’s contents.

I keep scolding these furry babies, “Don’t eat grass!! You’re carnivores!!” but they don’t listen to me! They keep munching on it every chance they get and as it turns out, they don’t even get to digest the grass—they’ll vomit it out soon after. Yet they keep doing it again and again and again, as if on purpose, to induce vomiting.

God, I hope my cats aren’t anorexic!

It’s noon and I’m somewhat hungry now but other than that I’m numb to everything else. The office is buzzing with activities, the lunch tables are buzzing with gossips, the newspapers are buzzing with all sorts of filth, but all my senses are in slo-mo and I’m in a trance of sorts. The only buzzing I hear is the one in my head, like a bee, and it won’t go away.

I’m sick physically and mentally.

I’m numb physically and mentally.

I hope all this baloney and poppycock in our airwaves will go away soon.

Perhaps then, and only then, I can taste food again.

The New English Word

2008-06-24T14:02:00.004+08:00

Just received this email today. Don't know how long it's been circulating but I thought it's absolutely hilarious.

New word
There are possible plans underway to include a new word to the Oxford and Webster in their 2009 dictionary:
badawi [baa-daa-wee] (noun): To start something full of promise but
end in disappointment, failure and/or disaster.

Eg:
'I'm trusting you to perform this task well; don't do a badawi, ok?'
'Whatever I do, I will always find a way to badawise it.'
‘France badawied their Euro 2008 campaign. England pre-badawied
theirs, while Italy were guilty of over-badawification.’

Thanks Chubby, for this gem of a junk mail.

What Goes Around Comes Around

2008-06-20T12:54:00.007+08:00

From time to time, when I was out of the office on business, I do take some personal “Sue-time” for an hour or two whenever I have the chance. I don’t feel particularly guilty about it because I was already outside and it was only for a short time.

Yesterday, unlike the usually spontaneous decision to go AWOL, I actually planned one.

I went to a certain government office to meet a certain government official. As I was hoping, he was in a meeting and wouldn’t be available for another hour. Exactly as I planned it the night before, I immediately left to run a few personal errands on office time.

In my head I was thinking, if anybody asked, yes I did go to see him but he was in a meeting for the longest time and so we didn’t manage to meet up. There would be no lying through my teeth as that is the absolute truth.

So I left and headed to the highway. Unfortunately for me, I missed a turn and ended up on the wrong highway. Later, I got out at a certain exit which I thought would lead me back to where I wanted to go but instead I ended up in some housing estate with very little signboards and hundreds of unbearably slow traffic lights.

At this point, I already realized that I was lost, but determined not to admit it, I didn’t bother to ask for direction and continued going around in circles. I managed later to get back onto that unfamiliar highway again and got off another exit only to have the same thing happening all over again at a different housing estate.

What the ….?

To cut a very long and boring story short, I was lost for about what seemed like eternity before I managed to wiggle my way out of the traffic jam that seemed to be everywhere, and back to familiar places. By then, it was almost 1 pm.

Suffice to say, I didn’t have time to run those errands, and only managed to grab a quick tapau lunch before headed straight to office, bummed out and so freakin' irritated.

Small matter actually, but it got me thinking.

This has happened a few times before. Whenever I’m up to mischief on a whim, I get away with it. But if I do plan it somehow, thereby having the bad intention, something will turn out wrong. In this case, my eyes were blurred. My mind was blurred. I got lost where I never thought I would. It cost me precious time, it cost me precious petrol, it cost me unnecessary toll.

I couldn’t help thinking that it is karma. I’m sure Sharon Stone would agree with me.

My own mother would agree with that too. The punishment was swift, she’d say.

To some people, including my mother, when bad things happen to bad people, then it must be ‘bala’ (punishment from God). If the same thing happens to good people, then it is a 'dugaan' (a test of one's faith).

The thing is, how do you decide which is bala and which is dugaan? Why, by judging who is good and who is bad, of course!

This is where I’m so bloody pissed off every single time-- because when someone pulled an Artful Dodger on me, when I got a flat tyre, when I lost all my money, when I got sick, all of those are deemed by my mother as bala.

Again, WHAT THE …?

There is a concept of “What goes around comes around” in Islam, and that the Quran has mentioned this in a few verses. But I doubt that God intended for people to use this concept to judge other people’s misfortune so swiftly.

Indeed, many people find it so easy to pass judgment on others and so readily label a tragedy as bala, thereby indirectly labeling the victims as bad people. The Acheh earthquake and the resulting tsunami, the flood in Johor, Hurricane Katrina in the States, Cyclone Nargis in Myanmar, those are just to name a few. In fact, a few miscalculated steps causing one to slip and fall on the sidewalk can also be a bala. Everything bad that happens, is considered bala. Until such things happen to themselves that is, then it’s dugaan.

When Sharon Stone said what she said about the earthquake in China and the Tibetan people, she said what a lot of people who are pro-Tibet were thinking but never said out loud because it is utterly ridiculous.

Of course, as much as I don’t agree with her, I actually applaud her for knowing what’s going on in this world, as opposed to Mariah Carey’s infamous blunder when asked what she thought of the (then) recent demise of the King of Jordan. “It is a great loss to the world of sports” or something like that was what she said, referring of course to Michael Jordan, the basketball legend, who actually is still alive and kicking till this very day!

Anyway, there were a lot of angry reactions from China and all over the world about what Sharon Stone said. She was eventually forced to apologize and I think the issue has since died. Whether or not it was bad karma we will never know. But she wasn’t the first person with such ideas and neither will she be the last.

‘What goes around comes around’ is a concept predominant in any society, traditional or modern. Heck, Justin Timberlake even sings about it! It is not a concept that will go away in the near future. It is also the concept behind the words "Padan muka!" that we use so often.

Personally, I do believe in fate and destiny and that there is such a thing as bala. But I don’t agree with us mere mortals to be in the position to judge what is bala and what is not, thereby judging who is bad and who is not. What happens, happens. Let’s just leave it at that and not judge one another.

Having said that, I know that as I am sitting here rubbing my sore neck which has been torturing me since Monday, I realize what my mother would say if I were to tell her about my stiff neck—it’s bala. No doubt. Although I have no idea what I did wrong this time, as in any other time.

And oh, I also note that the next time I want to skip work, I shouldn’t plan it. I’ll just be spontaneous. That way, without the mala fide or bad intention, hopefully, karma won't get to me :-)

"I'm With Stupid"

2008-06-18T10:57:00.003+08:00

Have you ever dealt with people so stupid and so stubborn you just want to smack ‘em in the head and throw their things straight into the longkang?

I’m having the worst possible time dealing with these idiots. I don’t know from which hole did they crawled out from. They pretend like they know everything yet they keep asking stupid questions and make all sorts of stupid remarks, and demand stupid things that I obviously cannot give them.

I have been to their office a number of times in the past couple of weeks trying to sort things out, but they have been very very difficult, and I’m getting more and more exasperated by the minute. I know I’m supposed to be professional and all but can you blame me if I have a screaming match with them every now and then?

This morning I received a letter from them which smacks of arrogance and sheer stupidity. They have resorted to writing letters now instead of meetings and discussions since all of us can’t seem to be civilized about it. I am fuming, and therefore I am taking my time replying since I do not want to write something nasty (which I am bound to do if I reply right away) and aggravate the already delicate situation.

What can I say? I have business with them, so I have to bear with them for a while longer.

But in the meantime, can I just shoot someone?

Random Ramblings Not Worth Reading #10

2008-06-11T13:55:00.001+08:00

There is this thing called Caller ID. No cell phone would be complete without it. It helps you be prepared of what’s to come-- whether it your Momma calling to scold you, or your boss calling to tell you to come to work on a Sunday, or your spouse calling to check up on you-- once you see their numbers on the screen, you brace yourselves and you know exactly whether to answer or how to handle the call.

It’s convenient. It enables us to screen calls. It’s even a life-saver.

Then there’s also this thing called a private number, where the caller’s phone number is withheld and we are left to guess who is calling.

I hate those stupid private numbers. The callers want to find me wherever I am, yet they don’t want me to know where they’re calling from. It’s so freakin’ rude. If I want to answer a phone call blindly, I won’t have Caller ID!

So, to whoever it is who has been calling me non-stop since Sunday, STOP WITHHOLDING YOUR NUMBER OR STOP CALLING, YOU STUPID COW!!!!!!

--------------

Everybody’s still angry about the fuel price hike. Moi included. But I don’t know what to say anymore. It is so ridiculously high right now that I’m seriously considering finding a job within walking distance from my home.

The rebate being promised is such a meager sum, like we say it in Malay, “lekat celah gigi pun tak cukup”. And now they have confirmed that it is not even an annual rebate!!! So, we won’t even have anything to try to lekat celah our gigi next year!

Bagero!!

--------------

I was involved in 2 minor accidents 2 months ago. One of the culprits paid the damages a few days after I told her the amount. It wasn’t so swift, but it was not delayed for weeks either. So, I’m pleased with that.

As for the other culprit, the damage she had done was so little and the cost minimal, but the fact remains that I suffered losses because of her, so she still had to pay nonetheless. I told her the cost and she didn’t reply my SMS. I sent a reminder 2 weeks later and she replied saying she noted and will pay the sum. However, till yesterday, still no money came in for me. It was 2 months after the accident.

I didn’t want to make a big deal out of it since the amount is so little but she did hit my car, so I couldn’t just let her get away with it. So I sent this SMS last night, “2 months since u hit my car, 1 ½ months since I asked you to pay RMXXX and 1 month since u promised to pay. Tell me Ms. XXX, are u an honest person?”

10 minutes lapsed while she was probably fuming, then came the reply, “Yes I am. Give me your a/c no and I will bank the money in” (paraphrasing).

And today, she SMS-ed saying money has been banked in. (I haven’t checked my account yet but I believe it’s in). There, there,… that wasn’t so hard was it?

So, friends, the next time someone is dilly-dallying from paying you something, just question their honesty. Don’t scold, don’t hound, don’t chase, don’t abuse-- just question their honesty. Chances are, they’re going to be embarrassed into paying, just to prove that they’re honest. Unless of course, they really are liars and cheats who do not mind being thought of as liars and cheats. So, that’s another story.

The Tale of The Bladder Queen

2008-06-02T14:17:00.006+08:00

I drove back to Alor Setar on Friday night to send Mom’s new Indonesian maid to her. This girl is from Jawa Timur, so the slang is a bit thick and she has difficulty understanding a lot of what I was saying, although I could understand her perfectly well.

The thing is, with the influx of Indonesian movies and songs invading our airwaves since decades ago, we Malaysians tend to understand the various Indonesian dialects much easier than Indonesians can understand our Malaysian dialects. So I kept forgetting that Siti may be a bit blurred whenever I open my mouth to say something.

On the PLUS highway, I stopped at Tapah to freshen up and asked her :-

“Siti mau ke tandas?”

“Nggak mau.”

Ok. So I went by myself and then we continued the journey.

Later, I stopped at Bukit Gantang, asked her again, "Siti mau ke tandas?", and again she answered me, "Nggak mau". This baffled me a great deal since the air-cond was rather cold and she did drink half a bottle of mineral water since the start of the journey.

I had already gone twice and she hadn’t at all. So, I thought she must have a bladder the size of a Ducati fuel tank or something. But I kept the thought to myself.

At Gurun (which is about 400 km from KL), I stopped again and asked her:-

“Siti mau ke tandas?”

“Tandas itu apa?”

“Errr… bilik air, err.. tempat cuci…err…”

Kencing??”

“Ya”

“Ya! Ya! Mauuuuu!!!”

Dang! She must’ve been holding it in since God-knows-when!!

The Legendary Tantrum

2008-05-21T12:46:00.004+08:00

Daddy is causing a lot of waves now. There’s no escaping the news. At the breakfast table, at the office, lunch at mamak’s, hi-tea, dinner -- the whole realm is buzzing with news about Daddy.

When Daddy left his pedestal not too long ago, everybody cried their eyes out and sang praises till the cows come home-- Ah, there goes our true father, we’ll miss you, you’ve been great, you’re a visionary, we owe you so much, you’re irreplaceable, thank you Daddy, you’re a living legend, blah blah blah.

All seemed well and Daddy seemed to enjoy his retirement. Then Daddy noticed that the New Daddy started to undo a lot of things that he did and which he was so proud of. So Daddy became upset and Daddy started to question New Daddy about all his decisions. The New Daddy insisted that he is doing the right thing and that since he is in charge, he will do things his own way.

Daddy was livid.

So Daddy started arguing with the new Daddy about everything, and the butt-lickers did not know how to react. They wanted to stay loyal to Daddy who has given them so much, but they also want that shiny new black SUV and a mansion up on a hill which probably can only be achieved by continuing to lick the New Daddy’s butt as well as those of his minions.

As such, one by one, Daddy’s butt-lickers left his old sagging yellow ones to go lick the younger buns and gave public speeches of how Daddy has been a bane in everyone’s existence. All of these, in the hopes of getting recognition from the New Daddy and his minions and huge rewards that guarantee them those huge mansions up on a hill with a lake full of cash floating around.

Daddy cried, Daddy ranted, Daddy cursed each and every one of them. Daddy tried everything to get his way including accusing people of a lot of things which he himself was accused of when he was at the pedestal. Nothing worked and Daddy felt dejected.

Spending countless of hours and days thinking and strategizing, Daddy came out with a brilliant plan. It is dangerous. It is lunacy. It is somewhat bratty. But it is classic Daddy.

At the risk of this act backfiring upon him and leaving him an outcast old dodo, Daddy threw a tantrum and left his family. Everybody jumped. The enemies clapped excitedly and the marauders sprang into action with glee but the butt-lickers and the minions came out in full force calling Daddy a brat, a nut, a senile old man, a traitor.

There goes the praises they heaped upon him when he left his pedestal just a few years ago.

There goes the adulation and admiration.

There goes all their respect to the man whom they used to call a legend.

Poor Daddy.

Or is it clever Daddy?

Let’s just wait and see.

The Village Idiot

2008-05-16T12:06:00.004+08:00

I don’t know if this has been going around in emails for weeks or months or years but what I am certain of is that it is so bloody ridiculous. I laughed out loud the minute I read this.

Sadly, some idiots out there accepted this as the absolute truth and believe every word of it without question.

At a glance, I could already spot 10 loopholes and things that don’t make sense. I’m sure you can spot many more.

Some people just have too much time on their hands.

Note that the image and the translation attached can be found circulating in emails and discussed in various forums on the web with the tagline that UMNO is an ally to Israel, and with the intention of course, to discredit Mahathir

Well, I'm not a fan of the guy either, but this is absolutely stupid. Enough said..

Terjemahan:
Perdana Menteri,
Jabatan Perdana Menteri,
Blok Barat,
Aras 3,
Pusat Pentadbiran Kerajaan Persekutuan,
62502 Putrajaya,
Malaysia
------------------------- --------------------
SULIT No Ruj: PM/Pers/AHO/01/121 Jld 1
Tarikh : 16 Ogos 1999

Yang Dihormati Encik Ehud Barak,

Pertama-tamanya bagi pihak UMNO, Barisan Nasional dan Kerajaan Malayisa dan juga bagi seluruh Rakyat Malaysia, Saya ingin menyatakan setinggi-tinggi tahniah dengan pemilihan tuan sebagai Perdana Menteri. Walaupun terlambat sedikit, kami mendoakan kejayaan tuan dalam kerjaya pada masa kini dan pada masa akan datang.

Sepertimana yang tuan sudah maklum, Menteri Luar saya, Encik Syed Abdul Hamid Albar akan menemani saya pada sessi yang seterusnya di Mesyuarat Agung Pertubuhan Bangsa-bangsa Bersatu yang akan berlangsung di New York pada bulan September. Saya dengan tulus ikhlas berharap satu perjumpaan dapat diatur dengan Menteri sejawat dengannya iaitu Encik David Levy untuk membincangkan pengumpulan dana untuk parti saya bagi menghadapi pilihanraya umum di Malaysia. Saya percaya, melalui kecekapan dan kwibawaan pihak tuan, kita boleh berhubung dengan 'Tabung Clinton' untuk tujuan menghancurkan Perjuangan Para Pejuang Islam di Malaysia.

Adalah terlalu awal untuk menyatakan ini tetapi ingin saya menyatakan sekali
lagi kesetiaan saya pada perjanjian yang telah ditandatangani dan dipersetujui
pada tahun 1985 yakni pihak tentera US boleh menggunakan pengkalan tentera kami pada bila-bila masa sebagai balasan kepada bantuan kewangan ini. Adalah diharap agar pihak tuan dapat menyampaikan mesej ini kepada Yang Dihormati Puan Madeleine Albright.

Adalah menjadi satu harapan saya jika dapat membentuk pendekatan baru dalam menubuhkan perhubungan diplomatik dengan Tel-Aviv walaupun saya terpaksa meyakinkan anggota-anggota kabinet dalam kerajaan dan juga rakyat untuk mengelakkan wujudnya penentangan yang tidak diingini. Dengan ini, saya menghargai kerjasama dan harapan yang diberikan oleh Jabatan Negeri Amerika Syarikat.

Sekali lagi saya bagi pihak parti, mengucapkan setinggi-tinggi penghargaan dan mendoakan kejayaan tuan.

Yang benar
tt. mahathir
..................
s.k. Duta Malaysia ke USA

Lazy Left Leg

2008-04-28T18:17:00.005+08:00

I have again been stricken with another bout of lazyfatassitis. It is a medical condition known to be capable of affecting people of all walks of life-- fat-asses or skinny-asses alike, causing them to have extreme difficulties in moving their asses off the couch and making these people do absolutely nothing all day.

Once diagnosed with this fairly common but highly untreatable disease, the patient is doomed for life -- no amount of spanking, slapping, poking, prying or kicking of one’s ass or whacking of the head attached to the body attached to the ass would cause it to budge, except maybe if you put a bag of Ruffles chips on the dining table thus causing that ass to maybe, just maybe, move like a friction of an inch off the couch while the body attached to it maneuvers a long stick/pole to knock the bag of chips off the table and towards the ass.

Sometimes, in a rare occurrence, one leg (say, the right one) will exhibit a patellar reflex out of nowhere, perhaps subconsciously telling the body that it has had enough and wants to start walking again, and so the body attached to the lazyfatass starts to make a move when the other leg, the lazy left leg exhibits a paralytic syndrome where it absolutely refuse to budge.

It’s like the left leg doesn’t know what the right leg is doing, or vice versa. And eventually, usually, the lazy left leg wins.

No surprises there.

So, the lazyfatass remains on the couch for a while longer.

There is no remedy, no cure, no antidote of any kind for this lazyfatassitis.

The only way to get rid of it is to give it time, because in time, the lazyfatass will get couch-sores (much like bed-sores) and will have to snap out of it, even if only to relapse in the near future.

And so, we just wait and wait and wait…

And we wait some more.

*sigh*

**Lazy Left Leg is a title of a 2004 movie which incidentally was such a flop that only a couch potato lazyfatass would know about it.

Bumper Stumper

2008-04-14T10:04:00.002+08:00

Last Thursday as I was driving to work, someone got into a little accident with me while my car was at the traffic light. The lady driver may have overestimated the little opening between my car and hers and tried to change lanes thus knocking into my bumper.

We pulled to the side, got out, assessed the damage, she admitted her fault and we exchanged numbers. That’s it. I didn’t even scream and yell. Too early in the morning for that and it’s just a minor dent on my bumper. No need to get my blood pressure up.

The funny thing was, eventhough our cars didn’t block traffic, the onlookers caused a traffic jam anyway.

Small fender-bender like that also want to gawk ka woi????

Anyway, I took it lightly. I didn’t even bother to go to the workshop over the weekend. I’ll do it next week, I thought.

So I went about and did other things and completely unperturbed by the dent.

This morning, as I was driving to work, again, another woman driver bumped me on the rear while trying to change lanes at the traffic light. What’s up with all these people not knowing how to change lanes??? Tak masuk sekolah memandu ke woi?

We pulled over to the side and lo and behold, this time got hole one!!!

Aiyoh… koyak bontot aku lorrr…

I was stunned because there are 2 fender-benders in 5 days and in the same kind of situation. This 2nd woman was in a hurry and quickly took charge giving me her numbers and promising to pay for the damage and all. I can’t remember what I said but I think I didn’t say more than 10 words. I was stumped. I was too blurred. I was too stunned. I was getting superstitious, I mean, twice in 5 days???

Okay, so I have to go to the workshop today and get the damage assessed. I’ve got to get this out of the way now.

Hello Kitty

2008-04-09T18:43:00.003+08:00

I have never been so sleepy in my entire life than I have been in the past few weeks. Maybe it’s because I have been waking up earlier than usual in the mornings to attend to my kittens. They are a demanding lot, them kitties. I have to play with them before I go to work, and pay full attention to them when I come back.

When they are sick I have to attend to them like mothers attend to their babies. I take them to the vet and give them antibiotics. I have to cuddle them and stroke them and make sure they know that they are loved.

I took them for their vaccination last Saturday and they were feverish thereafter. Mopster the eldest was very cranky and was seemingly angry at me for putting her through all that.

Understandably so. They were fine until I decided to take them to THAT place. “Nothing good ever come out of that place”, they must’ve thought.

“Everytime we go there, they shove that plastic thingy up our behind and then they stick a needle on our back”.

“That must’ve been why we can’t even walk properly afterwards”.

Poor kitties.

I find that I have been talking about my kittens at any chance I get. My friends must be so dead tired of hearing me speak now.

It’s much like those people with children- whenever you talk to them, they have nothing else to say except talk about their kids, and so you’re obliged to just say “Ooh!”, “Ah!”, “How cute!”, and just giggle along when they regale you with stories of how ‘adorable’ their kids are.

In order not to hurt their feelings, I have always found it necessary to just nod along and do all of the above, but deep inside, I have always thought, “GAWD! Enough already!! Don’t you have anything else to talk about?????”

Sadly, I have now unwittingly joined this group of people. Everything now revolves around my Mopster, Pippin and Blanket. I talk about them everyday and I think about them all the time, always thinking of what else can I do to make them happy. I don’t even care if I drive my friends crazy with all these kitty talk.

I have lost count of how much I have spent on their food, equipment, toys and medications. I know for a fact that I have spent more on them in the past 2 months than I spent on my own clothes, but I just don’t want to get the figures straight lest I pass out from shock.

And now, as I consider neutering my kittens, I can’t bear the thought of them being in pain from the procedures. I am not in favour of cats breeding all their lives, and with all the medical evidence pointing out the health benefits, it is clear that neutering of felines is good for them in the long run. But when I think of the pain they have to go through, I’m at a loss.

The good thing however is that my kitties are only 4 months old, so there’s time yet for me to think and prepare myself for the procedures. I hope I can get some perspective before the time comes.

Ah, how my life has turned upside down because of these 3.

Speaking of upside down, just last night as I was enjoying my dinner at home, I couldn’t stop chuckling at the irony of me eating raw fish that is sushi and sashimi whilst the kittens are eating cooked and processed tuna.

What a weird world this is!

Saving Fish From Drowning

2008-04-03T12:42:00.008+08:00

The country is abuzz with the stories about Sufiah Yusuf, the Math genius who entered Oxford at the age of 13. It’s sad that she has turned out this way, from a world reknowned prodigy to hooker. It’s a bizarre turn of events that made us wonder what triggered such a downfall and if such a thing could happen to us.

And of course the next thing that came to my mind is, “What a waste of our taxpayers money!!!”

Sufiah's mother is a Malaysian who had turned her back on her family in Johor. She married a Pakistani and lived in UK and only reached out to her Malaysian roots when she needed financial aid to put her daughter into Oxford.

And of course, being the greedy Malaysians that we are, we would stake a claim to anything that has any Malaysian connection whatsoever no matter how remote as our own and we embrace them and hail them as our greatest achievements with the Malaysia Boleh slogan blaring in the background.

Like how we so tak malu claim that Guy Sebastian is a Malaysian, remember that?

Our DPM as the then Education Minister decided to give this then 13 year old a scholarship.

AS IF she’s going to come and be of any use to us in Malaysia when she’s done studying.

And then, she had to run away from Oxford in the middle of her studies, so all our money spent for putting her there were flushed down the toilet.

And then the shocking news came out.

And now, the government has decided to intervene and start a mission called the ‘Save Sufiah Program’ led by that Mashitah woman.

Are we even sure that she needs saving in the first place?

By the way, correct me if I’m wrong but wasn’t it Mashitah who once said that it is alright for prostitutes to do what they do when they are desperate? Well, maybe Sufiah was desperate, so it’s justified, no? If they really want to help, just send her £100 and send her on her way.

There is no need to spend any more money on her than we already have when we don’t even spend much to help our own girls in the dark alleys of KL’s red light districts aside from arresting them from time to time and throwing them back out on the streets.

More so, please, please don’t send a delegation of 10 or so government officers on this so-called mission only to have them spend weeks staying at some 5 star hotels on our money.

If they really really want to help, we already have Malaysian representatives staying in UK, why not get them to help reach out to her? Some financial assistance may be given, but let’s not go overboard.

And more importantly, do it on the basis of humanity- People helping people, not as some tool to gain political mileage.

Let’s not use Sufiah any more than she has already been used.

Life In The Scrab Lane

2008-03-31T11:18:00.009+08:00

Since joining Facebook some time ago, I have been addicted to Scrabulous, the online Scrabble game. I play with my friends and I play with strangers from all over the world. It’s fun. Especially when you win.

So, I play again and again. I play in Cafes, I play at home, I play at the office. I play everywhere. I just can’t stop! My work suffers, my sleep suffers, and oh, my kitties scream for food, but I just continue playing.

Usually I play a Regular game - this is where the built-in wordlist will screen every word you put on the board, so there’s no room for non-existing words to make its way onto it. The Challenge game is where the word list is disabled, so that you can put any word you like, but if your opponent challenges you and the word is found to be invalid, you lose the word, and you lose a turn.

Any which game you choose, it’s bound to be fun, even if your vocabulary consists of strictly 3 and 4 letter words which more often than not gets repeated from one game to the other.

Of course, it’s definitely no fun when an opponent come up with a word like “CLAQUES” and scored 113 leaving me trailing pathetically behind, but as much as that one single move obviously defeated me, I continued playing because that’s the right thing to do.

Even when I encounter a stupid player like this one Stephanie O who hosted a Challenge game, but do not like being challenged, I simply played along, challenging one ridiculous word of hers after another while having an small argument over at the chat box.

Day 1
Stephanie: Why did you delete my word? A hound is a type of dog.

Me: HOUND is ok, but the resulting word LOPOW is not.

---
Day 3
Me: again, the resulting words QID and UHO is (are) invalid.

Stephanie: if you are going to keep deleting my words, please at least passa turn so that the game will be fair again.

Me: what is unfair is when I have to pass a turn in order to correct your wrong.
Day 4
Stephanie: my words were valid. I provide you with definitions.

Me: no definitions? I did not delete your words, I simply challenged it. The application found it invalid and deleted it.

Stephanie: There is no reason to be rude or nasty in this game. I have done nothing negative to you. Why do you insult me?
Day 6
Me: which part of that was an insult? Was it the part when YOU suggested that I was being unfair to you??

Me: for all its worth, I apologise if you think I was being nasty. I really was just defending myself. The validity of the word is determined by the application, NOT ME. I cannot simply delete my opponent’s words.

Stephanie: thank you for the apology but what I said about the game is true and what I said about other player deleting every entry of mine.
Day 7
Me: nobody can delete your words. The validity of the words are determined by the Scrabulous application using the TWL wordlist. If your words are challenged, the application will check it against the wordlist and delete it if necessary. Perhaps you should play a Regular game and not a Challenge game- that way, the words on the board will be validated automatically when played, and there’ll be no dispute.

Stephanie: are you not listening to me? This really isn’t worth fighting over. If you want the game, then fine, I can play another
Day 9
Me: No. YOU are not listening to me. The last thing I said was said in good faith. Why don’t you stop being so accusatory?

Me: why don’t you check the TWL wordlist and see if your words are valid. Your last word, DURO was ok, but the resulting word UR?

Me: I just challenged it and guess what? The fabulous Scrabulous application just accepted it.
UPDATED 1-4-2008 - Day 10
Stephanie: You owe me three turns. If you win this game without giving me those turns, then know that you cheated to win, and it was dishonest of you and you should be ashamed of yourself.
Me: Bodoh nak mampus.
Me: I owe you nothing.
Stephanie: you are a liar and a cheat
Me: and you are a dumbass

-----
I’m waiting for her reply. I doubt that it’s forthcoming. Hehe.

Arguing with an idiot stranger over non-existent words - Have you ever heard of anything so ridiculous?

But I must admit, it is a lot of fun, and I wonder if there’s many more Stephanie O for me to fight with?

That’s the *Fabulosity of Scrabulous!

* Fabulosity is a word used excessively by Kimora Lee Simmons. It’s an invalid word, yes I know!

A Post About Growing Old, Dying, Life Issues, Wrinkles and All Those Things That Come With Being Another Year Older

2008-03-19T14:15:00.007+08:00

I’m posting this today as I’m not gonna be around tomorrow. It’s my birthday. At 7.15 am tomorrow, I’m going to turn another year older.

*sigh*

It’s not a fun thought y’know, growing old. Everytime I see an old saggy granny, I shudder to think if I’m gonna look like that one day. Granted, it’s a long way to go, and given the kind of medical advancement and beauty care regime available these days, that old crinkly granny look may be a thing of the past even for a 70, 80 year old.

I know I’m not yet at that age where I can be categorized as old, but that era is looming, so yeah, it is a disturbing thought.

People have always said that age is just a number, that aging is a natural process, that we must embrace it not fear it. Bleergh!!!

Sure, I’ve said that many times before too. But the truth is, and I’m not ashamed to admit it, I am scared of growing old. A lot of us do. We fear aging because it is something that is inevitable. It will come no matter what, and to some, it comes in more brutal ways than others. Rheumatism, osteoporosis, arthritis, and all sorts of ailments, and then you die.

The fear of aging is there because the fear of dying is inherent in everyone.

We just rationalize it in order to comfort ourselves that everything is fine, because if we dwell on these fears, it will cripple us and we can’t get on with living our lives to the fullest.

And so we try not to worry our poor little head about any of this. And we assure ourselves that it is mind over matter, that if we don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.

As hypocritical as it sounds, it is an accepted human behaviour in these day and age to discuss these life issues so that we can feel secure about our very existence. This is an era of Oprah Winfrey and Dr.Phil, so asking questions about life is a must. Looking for answers is mandatory. If you are an American (or if you are Americanised), leaving your loved ones behind to go ‘find ourselves’ is expected.

I’m not gonna do any of it. At least not at this time. I'm postponing that thought for now. Next year I may think differently. Next year I may worship the ground Dr. Phil walks on. Next year I may even go away to the desert to find myself like the Americans do. Who knows? The more you age, the more weird things you do.

But as at this moment, while I still don’t have wrinkles on my forehead, I’m just gonna chuck away whatever fear I have about growing old and console myself with the thought that I’m still in my child-bearing years, although child-bearing is sooooooo not on the agenda ever!

No need to rationalize anything. No need to find answers. No need to go anywhere. I’m just going to take it one day at a time.

I'm wishing myself a very Happy Birthday and I hope I don’t see those wrinkles anytime soon.

RIP

2008-03-11T12:09:00.002+08:00

I have complained about The Toad before. She is one slick woman who manages to get away with skipping work and causing all sorts of mess every so often. How she gets away with it all is beyond me as she appears to be quite dumb really, as in, very very dumb.

But then again, she’s quite good at playing politics and pitting the partners against each other. So, that could be her greatest asset, and that could be why she can do whatever the hell she wants in this firm without any repercussion whatsoever.

Recently I complained to The Sheep that the partners’ lack of action on The Toad’s shenanigans is causing the entire office some major discomfort (…and by ‘the entire office’, I meant me). The impression given is that she is given special and preferential treatment over and above everybody else and thus, the others are left feeling demoralized and feeling as if they don’t matter in this place (again, ‘the others’, me). I wasn’t playing politics and I wasn’t complaining about something The Sheep didn’t already know. I was just telling him how we (‘I’) feel about seeing a colleague getting away with such blatant disregard of office rules.

Sadly, The Sheep who is in a cold war with The Toad, appeared not to be able to do anything about it eventhough he seemed to have been a bit comforted by the fact that I am behind him in this instead of her.

Of course, my complaints about The Toad came right after my complaint about The Sheep himself to his face. So, I’m sure he was more than glad to get the criticism deflected away from him and onto The Toad. That could be why he appeared glad when I was criticizing her.

But I’m pretty certain that he wanted to do the right thing about her but the other partners put handcuffs on him, as I have already expected.

Politics suck.

In a later discussion (or rather The Toad bashing session) with a friend over the phone last weekend, I likened The Toad to Dato Zakaria Deros, the man who got away with building his palatial residence illegally, operating a satay restaurant illegally and not paying assessments on his property(ies) for years and years.

We may have nothing to do with Dato Zakaria and whatever he did or didn’t do have no effect on us physically, but as citizens of this country, we expect a fellow citizen like him to be given the same treatment as we would receive had we done the same offences he did. I’m sure if I even build an illegal extension to my tiny little kitchen, the authorities would steamroll everything down in 2 seconds flat.

But not him apparently. He got away with a mere slap on the wrist. So, of course we are all mad. And I told my friend that I wish someone would just shoot this guy dead.

Today, I found out he died this morning of a heart attack. Read here.

I don’t really feel bad, but the man died, so I’ll stop bashing him.

Rest In Peace.

I’m just wondering though, if I wish someone would shoot The Toad, would she end up ‘splat’ in a few days? Mati katak, so to speak?

Why am I having this image of a disemboweled frog in my head?

And why am I smiling gleefully at that image?

Don’t say it! I’m so bad, I know.

A Wake-Up Call

2008-03-10T08:55:00.004+08:00

Wow! That's all I can say.

It's been a pretty hectic day on Saturday, and an amazing day on Sunday. I half expected to see people dancing in the streets, but hey, we don't need those FRUs to shower us with their love again do we? No thank you. We're fine just dancing in our own kitchens.

It's amazing how even with the worst nightmare coming true, some people can continue sleeping in and overstaying their welcome.

It's mind-boggling to say the least.

To the sleeping one,

WAKEY, WAKEY!!!!!!!

Selamat Mengundi!

2008-03-08T10:15:00.003+08:00

Marilah mari
pergi mengundi
jangan lupa kewajipan
pada negara

lalalalalalala

TIRU MACAM SAYA!

2008-03-04T15:15:00.014+08:00

Last edited 6/3/2008, pic added. See at the bottom.

Thank you soooooo very da much Pi Bani for alerting me.

Now, WHO IS THIS ABSOLUTELAYLA & WHAT IS SHE DOING PLAGIARIZING MY WRITING????

Pi Bani alerted me today on a blog posting she found similar to mine. So I checked out the blog, and my of my, several of my postings are there. The plagiarist (I won’t call her/him a blogger because she/he is severely lacking in originality) posted my blog entries verbatim, except for some names and situation which she/he changed to suit her/his situation.

Check this out:

1.
My post:
Here Comes The Smear Campaign – 15/2/2008
The Plagiarized post:
Here Comes The Smear Campaign -18/2/2008

2.
My post:
Traffic Jam Up Ahead, Please Go Right In – 31/1/2008
The Plagiarized post:
Traffic Jam Up Ahead, Please Go Right In – 26/2/2008

3.
My post
Let’s Have A Baby! – 11/2007
The Plagiarized Post
Let’s Have A Baby! –1/2008

4.
My post
My 3rd Blog – 1/4/2006
The Plagiarized Post
My 2nd Blog – 3/1/2008

APA TIRU-TIRU ORANG NIH? TAK MALU KE WEY??

Going a step further, I actually made a search on all the postings and I found that all her/his postings are copied, other than me, from Princesswaffzonkle’s blog.

1.
Princesswaffzonkle’s
At the work place -24/3/2006
Absolutelayla’s
At the work place -24/2/2008

2.
Princesswaffzonkle’s
I’m still at it - 6/6/2006
Absolutelayla’s
I’m still at it…- 20/2/2008

3.
Princesswaffzonkle’s
*rubbing eyes* - 14/3/2006
Absolutelayla’s
*rubbing eyes* - 11/2/2008

4.
Princesswaffzonkle’s
Saya the despatch- 18/6/2007
Absolutelayla’s
Saya the despatch mama – 10/2/2008

5.
Princesswaffzonkle’s
Dooped- 9/3/2006
Absolutelayla’s
Dooped- 28/1/2008

There’s nothing original in this blog at all. Everything is copied. Heck, even the tagline I use "I am somebody. I like being me. I need nobody to make me somebody” is copied. (That, by the way, is a quote by Louise L’Amour)

People say, imitation is the best form of flattery. Some people may tell me to be flattered that this person, whoever she or he is, find my writing worthy to be plagiarized. But really, I don’t quite know how to make of it. On the one hand, yes, I am somewhat amazed that someone would copy me. But on the other hand,…

OY! SAYA PENAT-PENAT TULIS TAWWWW!

*flashing middle finger*

Edited. Pics added.

As at 5.14pm on 4/3/2008, the blog absolutelayla.blogspot.com has been removed.

Guess i scared her off....... MUAHAHAHAHAHAH!

Edited again on 6/3/2008

Screen capture pic enlarged so that you can read the copycat version.
Pic added, one I nicked from her profile (without her permission of course, but who needs it when she has conveniently curik what is mine? An eye for an eye baby!):-

Email : absolutelayla@gmail.com

Another Birthday Blues

2008-02-21T14:16:00.001+08:00

In a month’s time, I will turn another year older. As always, whenever my birthday is coming, I will turn into this moping sulking mildly neurotic bitch who will find fault in everything and everyone. I’m starting to turn into one now.

Just a while ago, I scolded my clerk for making too many mistakes in her draft and early this morning, I almost had a screaming match with a very important client. NOTE: almost, so yes, good sense prevailed in the end, thank God!

I just have to keep reminding myself about not letting out too much in this firm. You see, gossip is usually the essential meal of the day for a certain type of people. A lot of this people happen to work in my office. So, if you give a certain information to them, that information will more often than not, be blown out of proportion.

Yesterday, I kicked up a small fuss about having to attend to The Toad’s file which she claimed is not hers. As I’m not on talking terms with The Toad (I talk, she croaks), I informed the clerks to just find the file next time and dump it right under her nose since her initials are all over the file cover and she can’t claim that it’s not hers. Soon after, I heard the girls gossiping about how Cik Sue is VERY angry at Cik Toad for not doing her work. VERY angry? I don’t think I even appeared angry, but if they want to embellish it so, so be it. I just hope that the stories won’t evolve into me stuffing the entire file into The Toad’s mouth or something like that, although I must admit the thought of such thing is very pleasurable.

Anyway, I was planning to go to Indonesia for my birthday since I had been dying to see the Borobudur temple. As it turns out, my friend is unable to make it and since I have just recently had ‘kids’, I wasn’t very disappointed in not being able to go away for ‘D’ day. Sure, I lost some money there as the Air Asia tickets are not refundable but at least I am feeling kind of relieved for not having to leave my babies with anyone else.

Maybe I’ll just go to PD again.

Since I’m not spending money going on a vacation, maybe I should buy myself a birthday present- things I have been hoping people will give me but no one ever had. I wanted a PDA, people gave me books. I wanted a new laptop, they gave me food. I wanted a new cell phone, they gave me stationeries. I had to buy my own freakin’ cell phone because people around me are all so kedekut!!

So now I’m thinking of buying myself a new iPOD since my old MP3 player is all in pieces now. I’m also getting myself a new camera since my old trusty camera is no longer working and I’m just using my cameraphone which is crappy. And oh, I’m also thinking of getting a treadmill so that I can exercise at home while watching TV. (I find that I have come up with too many excuses about not going to the gym or go for a jog - all TV related excuses of course)

I hope that in a few months, I would be able to fit into those bikinis I’ve been raving about on my last birthday blues, hehe.

Till the big day comes, let me just sit back and wallow in this bout of birthday blues. I’ll get up and rejoice once the day has passed.

Here Comes The Smear Campaign!

2008-02-15T14:51:00.003+08:00

Now that election fever is here, politicians have started showing their ugliest sides. Some will have skeletons dragged out of their closet and some others will act all goody-goody while gleefully digging other people’s skeletons and throwing ‘em out in the open. Either way, these are all the repulsive acts of politicians and their cronies during any political campaign. I expect the mud-slinging to get worse in the next few days.

I was directed to one particular site by rockybru today. The site made me sick to my stomach. No, it is not so much the contents that disgust me but the intention behind it. The site purports to expose the lifestyle of a certain single female politician. Long have we heard rumours of this particular politician’s sexual orientation, but we can never verify the accuracy of such rumours.

I’m not proud to say that I actually checked out the site, but if the title suggests raunchy information, I expect to see such information and not just some unverified and unsubstantiated stories with pictures of some kids’s birthday party and some holiday trips abroad with family and friends. Typically, the site is written in the manner of someone seeking to sensationalize the pictures. But the pictures themselves are nothing but ordinary. There’s nothing sensational at all about it.

The caption at the bottom of the page reads:-
“Gambar sudah menjadi bukti. XXXXXX berprofil buruk. Menteri yang membela rakyat kini menjerumuskan rakyat ke arah sesuatu yang menyonsang dari lumrah.

Apa yang kita tunggu lagi? Mahukah kita meneruskan kegiatan sumbang XXXXXX ini bermaharajalela? Pak Lah mestilah mengheret XXXXXXX ke Jawatankuasa Disiplin UMNO! Lucutkan semua jawatan XXXXX dalam kerajaan dan politik!”

Bukti apa? Really, what do the pictures prove?

The photos show this politician hugging and kissing her daughter, the child’s birthday party and some family trips. The captions throughout the site refer to the little girl as ‘anak’ XXXX (with inverted commas- as if an adopted child is not worthy to be called someone’s child) and the ‘anak’ lesbian. I pity the child for being labeled as such.

Whether or not the stories are true is beside the point. An exposé, if that is what this site sought out to be, should be backed by actual evidence, not some twisted interpretation of some photos from a family album.

I myself never liked this politician and will never be a fan. So, I don’t really care if she is a lesbian or not (nor do I think it is any of our business if she is), but I do sympathize with her for having to face all these crappy rumours, truth or lies notwithstanding.

Over the next few weeks, I’m sure we can expect more personal attacks like this one. What a nasty thing this politics business is!

The Kids

2008-02-11T11:49:00.001+08:00

My mom’s in shock, my sister is wide-eyed, my friends all snickered. It’s like the world’s most shocking news.

It’s so unbelievable it sounds like something out of Twilight Zone.

“Sue has kids”.

These words spread like wild forest fire. It swept through the community like a raging inferno threatening your very existence- unstoppable, unrelenting, unforgiving.

How can this be?

Is she fit to be a mother?

She doesn’t look motherly at all.

Is her house clean enough for her to raise kids?

She is so messy, I wonder if her house has proper ventilation.

She can’t even take care of herself, let alone take care of kids!

The poor little ones must be starving!

Oh, the horror, the horror!

Such horror!

Errr.

……

……

Now wait seminit, kids?

They’re kittens la! Aiyah….

I understand why my mom is worried that my house will stink to high heaven, but really Mom, as messy as I am, I am not dirty. My house is unkempt because I’m rather disorganized, but I’m actually quite clean. So my house is far from filthy.

My sister kept referring to me as a mommy, and she kept calling me every night to check on the little ones. As if I’m gonna let them starve or something. It’s rather annoying I tell ya, but I’m taking it in stride and assume that her concern is more about them cute kittens which she probably wish are hers, and not about my ability to take care of the young ones.

My friend M asked “If I go to your house, is it possible to walk around barefoot without stepping on cat poo?”

Aiyoo.

So far, it’s been great. They are 3 cute 1 ½ months old kitties of mixed breed. They are manja, they are playful, they are fluffy, I just want to cuddle them all day long.

I must admit, cleaning out their litter box is not a favourite part of the job, but it has to be done. So I just have to hold my breath and do the deeds. For very very small kittens, they sure poop a lot. That’s all they do, eh? Eat, sleep, play, poop. Eat, sleep, play, poop. I wish someone would invent a machine that can just collect the stuff out of the litter box every time after they use it. It would make my life a helluva easier.

Aside from that, the kittens are fabulous. I played with them so much, I smell them everywhere I go. I have scrubbed clean last night and had a very good shower this morning and put on clean clothes. I only patted them good bye and washed my hands before I left, yet here I am at the office, with my hands sanitized and without any cat fur on my clothes, still smelling them kitties wherever I go. What can I say? My nose is in kitty zone.

So, here’s my little ones:

Pippin- cute like an apple seed, small like that little Hobbit in LOTR, and reminds me of Pip, the pipsqueak in Charles Dickens’ Great Expectations (although the latter is a contemptible one, and in no way reflects Pippin the kitten).

Pippin tidur terlentang

Blanket- because she likes to hide. I tried to put fresh blankets in their cage when I first brought them home, and she wouldn’t move from a corner. So I covered her with that blanket, and there she stayed for a good few minutes, hiding away.

Blanket not hiding anymore- I guess this means she trusts me now.

Mopster- initially named Tassel because of her lion-like mane, I renamed her after a mop, because she mops the floor under the coffee table every day. At first I thought Mopster is a boy because of the size (a whopping 750g at 6 weeks old!) and the fact that she’s the cheekiest of the lot. But it looks like it’s a she. Still, it’s quite difficult to tell at this tender age. We’ll just wait a few more months.

Mopster-looking like a mobster

So there you go. My kids. My beautiful beautiful kids.

Traffic Jam Up Ahead, Please Go Right In

2008-01-31T11:54:00.000+08:00

I have been so lazy in updating my blog for a few months now. If there is an award for the biggest lazybum blogger on the planet, I would get it hands down. So here’s something to keep you occupied while I try to get my blogging momentum back.

Stuck in traffic this morning, I was thinking of what to write in my blog when Patricia Patrick’s traffic report came on air. I used to rely on it every day, until I realized that it is as accurate as the government’s statistics on just about everything.

There were times when I was at Jalan Jelatek when Patricia said, “Jalan Jelatek is at an unusual crawl all the way to Jalan Ampang” and I would be taken aback as there I was at a supposedly ‘unusual crawl’, yet my car was moving along just smoothly and jam-free.

What does ‘unusual crawl’ even mean??

There were also other times when I was headed to the same area when she said “Jalan Jelatek is smooth flowing”, and so I went ahead only to get stuck in a bumper-to-bumper crawl for almost an hour.

Talk about inaccurate reporting.

And I’m sure we’ve all heard her whining and complaining about onlookers and gawkers at accident sites. Don’t slow down to look because it would cause traffic jam for miles, that’s what she keeps reminding.

Yet this morning, I heard her reporting that there’s an accident at such and such place and she said, “If you are in the area, please call and tell us about the accident”. Huh?

Okay, I’m getting mixed signals here. Am I supposed to look at accidents now?

Oh yeah, I also heard her say Jalan Jelatek is smooth flowing this morning, and sure enough, it was jammed up.

Man, their reports must be about an hour late.

I think I get better information just sticking up my finger in the air checking wind direction than relying on these radio traffic reports. It’s mush I tell ya.

Backup Credit Card

2008-01-18T16:58:00.000+08:00

Is there such a thing as a backup card for Visa and Mastercard?

I received a suspicious call from someone claiming to be from Somerset Card or something like that. This woman called from a mobile no. 016-3324573 and presumably also from 016-4339149 (which I didn’t answer) and explained to me about this service card purportedly used to help us control our spending and stay within the credit limit. This woman proceeded to ask for confirmation whether I am using Visa or Mastercard. I refused to confirm as I was sure they would ask for the particulars of the card next.

I just told her before I hung up, “I know how to control my spending and stay within the credit limit, thank you very much”.

In hindsight, I should’ve played along, giving false information of course, collect all the necessary information about them and hand it over to the authorities. It would definitely make me feel good to play P.I. for a bit, but as usual, I’m always in a hurry to end these annoying phone calls and thus, never bother to pose questions. I really gotta change this habit.

Seriously though, why would we need a card to help us use another card? Unless I’m really dense and do not know anything about the latest financial product on the market that could have possibly been introduced by AKPK for the benefit of all those little earner big spender dimwits, I am dead sure that it is another scam to collect your confidential information and ultimately, steal your money.

So friends, be wary.