Da Great White Hype

Home Grown vs. Human Growth: Yankees and Phillies for the World Series

2009-10-26T18:01:00.003-04:00

It's a rare occurrence when the two best teams meet to decide the a championship. Often, it's the clubs that are hot at the right time that make the push to the season finale. But baseball's fans can't be disappointed in the matchup of last year's World Series Champs the Philadelphia Phillies against 2009's best team, the New York Yankees.

To examine each position player by player would be superfluous; these teams are incredibly close in both playing style and talent. Sure you could give the edge to A-Rod at 3rd over Feliz, Jeter over Rollins, Utley over Cano, Ruiz over Posada, and the Phillies' outfield over the Yanks. But the idea is that there are few advantages each team holds over the other. The Phillies are younger and faster, but the Yankees aren't exactly slow. Mariano Rivera is brilliant, but overall, both teams have bullpen issues to say the least.

Phillies outfielder Jayson Werth, who along with Shane Victorino, provide a lot of power at the plate for the 2008 World Series champs.

Here's the biggest advantage one team holds over the other: home field. Yankees have yet to lose a game at home this postseason, and that extra game in the Bronx will prove mighty. In fact, the Yankees have been dominant at home since the break. Yes, the Phillies have the momentum going into the Fall Classic. But the Yankees have looked hungrier as a franchise, ever since going out and snatching CC, AJ, and Teixera.

Yankees left fielder Johnny Damon, who experienced a playoff resurgence in the ALCS against the Angels.

This series will become more polarizing than the healthcare debate. The Phillies do it right--winning with pitching, speed, power, and defense. The Yankees, because of their business model--drawing 4+ million fans a year, owning the most popular regional network while becoming a machine that feeds itself, have the luxury of getting what they need when players like Giambi and Abreu come off the books. This will be the most important World Series of the decade. Some can argue the same could be said for Yankees/Marlins in '03 where opposing sides of the spending spectrum met in late October. But the climax was a let down for the Yankees, as the team was unable to overcome the emotions from the shot off Aaron Boones' bat. This year, both teams are undeniably the best in baseball and the Series should be close. The Yankees caught a lot of breaks the postseason, especially against how the Twins and Angels played sloppy. They won't get the same breaks against the Champs.

Both teams have an awesome "core." Jeter, Posada, Pettitte, Rivera. Rollins, Howard, Utley, Victorino, Hamels. As the series is being chiseled down to Cliff Lee vs. CC Sabathia, I believe it will come down to the battle between the core players--the constants--of each team. The sum of the cores will equal a trophy for either the Yanks or Phils. This is going to be one hell of a week for the Philly/New York rivalry with the Giants and Eagles looming Sunday.

Yankees in seven games.

And if they lose, Joe Mauer will certainly help in 2011.

Rules for Rooting

2009-10-16T00:54:00.002-04:00

We all know the kid from New Jersey who loves the Niners, or that assbag the is diehard for the Dolphins even though he wears snowboots 70% of the year. Myself...we'll I stuck to the teams of my geographical area of where I grew up. Well, at least for the beginning of my life. The rules of rooting for teams get fuzzy but here's the list, from most important to barely legal:

1. You were raised in the state. Raised= born there and lived there while in school for some point. Certain exceptions include living in states like Wyoming where the nearest pro team is Mexico.

2. Your dad is a fan of this team. There's no more influential sports figure than your father. This works both ways--you can root for his team, or root for the rival team. This especially holds water if your dad bolted on you and your mom.

3. The first professional game you ever went to was at this team's stadium/arena. Normally, this is not your choice, and the choice of your family. This might be one of your earliest sports memories. Yeah you lucky fuck its okay that your first game was a Lakers game.

4. You went to school there. This applies obviously for college sports. College rules are more dicey--and pretty much everyone here is a frontrunner. Except you, die hard SMU fan.

5. You didn't have any friends in grade school and watched "Rudy" on TBS Saturday Nights during the Summer. Touchdown Jesus' light has shined upon you, pale fuckhead.

Unacceptable rules:

1. The worst of all. You like the team colors. Kill yourself.

2. You like one player on the team.

3. They were the most successful team during your childhood. The reason for why you have Cowboys fans in Staten Island, NY.

4. Your sister dates the free safety/small forward. Both your vaginas stink of cleat chasing.

5. Grandma gave you a jersey for Christmas. Just because it was on sale at Caldor hours after Midnight Mass ended doesn't mean it was divine intervention. Unless it was a Bengals' jersey, then, both you and the old bag have horrid taste.

Lyrics to Killin Dudes

2009-10-07T21:24:00.001-04:00

We killing motherfuckers
Then going to their funerals
Just so we can kill more people
At their funerals
Then we kill some more
At those peoples funerals
Then we kill ourselves
At our own fuckin funerals!

I shot a mother and cried cuz da bullet went a stray
I was aiming for the baby but it went n crawled away
I aint sellin no records cause I killed all my fans
I call my guns allstate (cause I know they in good hands)
I give dick and autographs to classy hos
And u know I wear guns just like I wear clothes
Getting silly wat the dilly while im pullin out my willy
Worth a milly buyin phillies leavin body temps chilly

I got a gun from granny at christmas season
Loaded up the glock and shot in the face for no reason
I like guns cause they end lives
When im low on bullets ill be shootin out knives
Some dude was mean muggin and I knew what his face meant
Now his daughters tied up in the somerset basement
I like going to jail 3 hots and a cot
Doin 10 years for every bullet I shot
(dude that’s like 6,000 years)

Yeaaaaaaaaaaaahh
What you know bout guns?
Where I’m from
we shoot people for fun
killed some dude
Cause his hat matched his rag
My hat match my gat
match my mag match his bodybag

I shot steve mcnair I shot plaxico
I (inaudible) his sweatpants no homo
Pulled the trigga shot his thigh
Only dude I shot that didn’t die

I shot Billy Mays
what was that mean?
Don’t worry I addressed
The mess with Oxy-Clean
Soakin up the blood but
I couldn’t find a towel
He’d kill me if he
knew I used a Sham-WOW!

I really like Romo this year (Kanye snags the mic)..IM SORRY, BUT BREES HAD ONE OF THE BEST GAMES OF ALL TIME! OF ALL TIME

2009-09-14T02:39:00.008-04:00

Its not even Week 2, and my number of roster moves is higher than the amount of VMA's Lady Gaga won last night. You ever hear the expression you dance with the girl you brought to the dance? Yeah that's for anime-obsessed weirdos on MADE on MTV that can only dupe someone to going to that dance. I pull the trigger on any player in Week 1 that looks like hes gonna be an All-Pro which will backfire, especially on a roster move-capped league like the one I play in. For those much more wise than I am...

Here are a few players to keep an eye on...

-Joshua Cribbs KR/PR/WR, Cle. In leagues that value return yardage, Cribbs was that dude today. With a combined 201 yds in returns (along with 1 touchdown on special teams) added with the fact that the Browns plan to use him in the Wildcat formation, Cribbs could be a good WR/RB option, especially against low scoring opponents that will offer him many chances for returns on punts.

-Robert Meachem, WR, NO. The former Tennessee Volunteer was supposed to have his breakout year last year. Well, it may have been delayed until 2009. Meachem only had 2 catches for 51 yds, but he did haul in one of Brees' six TD passes. In an offense this dangerous, you can still find benefits from third options in the passing game.

-John Carlson, TE, Sea. Carlson caught six passes for 95 yards and two touchdowns. He was thrown at nine times, and often was split out as a WR for the Seahawks. Could be a scoring threat each week. But face it, they were playing against St. Louis, and you shouldn't expect two TDs from a TE each week.

-Patrick Crayton, WR, Dal. Crayton will have to fight for receptions along with TE Jason Whitten and WRs Miles Austin and Roy Williams. But Crayton cause 4 passes for 135 yds, showing he, along with Williams, provide Romo with legitimate deep threats.

Don't be fooled by...

-Kyle Orton, QB, Den. The late miraculous TD pass to Brandon Stokely padded his stats (17 of 28, 243, 1 TD). If it weren't for right place-right timing with less than :30 to play, subtract 87 yards--and most importantly--the lone TD.

-Tim Hightower, RB, Ari. The Arizona RB was the leading receiver on Sunday, hauling in 12 passes for 121 yards. As far as his gains on the ground, well, he was outperformed by Beanie Wells, only rushing for 15 yds on 8 carries. Hightower never caught more than six balls in a game during his first year in Arizona, and he surely benefited from an inactive Steve Breston and a less than 100% Anquan Boldin.

Spread 'Em: Week 1 NFL

2009-09-11T14:02:00.004-04:00

Each week, we'll look at three games you can bet the farm on [assuming you are betting crops grown in the Farmville app on Facebook]

Carolina +3 over Philadelphia. The Eagles are going to be a force in the NFC East, but their defense won't shape up right away, especially with the losses of MLB Stewart Bradley and their Defensive Coordinator Jim Johnson who passed away this offseason. Carolina's two-headed monster of Jonathan Stewart and DeAngelo Williams in the backfield will take pressure off of Jake Dell'homme, who still has one of the game's best receivers in Steve Smith.

New England -11 over Buffalo. A week before the season opener, Buffalo Head Coach Dick Jauron fired Offensive Coordinator Turk Schonert. Along with this turmoil, the Bills are expected to start three players (tackle Demetrius Bell along with guards Andy Levitre and Eric Wood) on their O-line who have never appeared in a meaningful NFL game. P.S. Eric Wood looks a lot like the kid from Bad Santa). Buffalo will also be without starting RB Marshawn Lynch who is serving a three-game suspension. Oh, and New England has Tom Brady back.

Green Bay -3.5 over Chicago. Expectations are high for the two quarterbacks in this game. Despite six wins last year for the Packers, Aaron Rodgers seems to be poised for a breakout year, especially with Greg Jennings as a weapon in the receiving corps. Jay Cutler, the heralded acquisition for the Bears this offseason, brings the spotlight to a position in Chicago that for almost two decades has been holding the team back from supremacy. While Cutler, like Rogers, had an excellent preseason, he will be facing a tough pass rush from the Packers whom this year convert to a 3-4 scheme. Whoever wins this game has a leg up in the NFC North, so expect this one to be a hard-fought battle and a close game, but Green Bay will win by at least six points.

College Football Information GangBang

2009-09-03T01:21:00.007-04:00

Since tonight marks the return of Erin Andrews (and about six straight months of football), it's time to, albeit for one night, bring back the blog. College football kicks off with North Carolina State hosting South Carolina in the "Governor Sanford Appalachian Trail Hike Bowl"...but how will the season end?

Will Charlie Weis' coaching internship land a real job?

Who will be the next coach to cry? (Bill Stewart of WVU is -32 as of tonight's line)

Will the wildfires postpone Rick Neuheusel's first game as head coach of UCLA, or will he be fired beforehand for taking Florida -73 hosting Charleston Southern (shoulda teased it down to 67)

Storyline of the Season: The Three Man Heisman Race

Fortunately for us fans, we will be force-fed the same holy triumvirate of candidates for college football's most storied trophy (if you don't count this one). Yes, all three top vote-getters are back for another season-- Florida's Tim Tebow, Texas' Colt Brennan, and Oklahoma's Sam Bradford-- primarily because the possibility of starting for the Lions this year while leaving busty coeds at their respective schools was almost too much to pass up.

OSU's Archie Griffin was the last two-time Heisman Trophy winner, and the press will most likely it will keep it that way. With Tebow taking the award last year, that leaves Bradford and McCoy to battle it out. October 17th's matchup of Longhorns vs. Sooners will most likely determine the winner...and I'm guessing that McCoy will end up the victor to cap off a great career in Austin.

Big Games to Start the Season:

On the first weekend, we have some great matchups like (16) Oregon vs. (14) Boise St, (5) Alabama vs. (7) Va Tech, (13) Georgia vs. (9) Oklahoma St., Cincinnati vs. Rutgers, and Miami vs. (18) FSU. While the last few years have seen National Champions with one or more losses, an early season loss for teams like Boise State with weak schedules can K.O. their BCS hopes for the rest of the year.

Can Florida Be Beaten?

Last year's BCS National Champion Florida Gators seem poised to do something that's never happened in their school's history---go undefeated. Tim Tebow has done it all except laying a goose egg in the loss column. Their lone stumble last year was a close loss to Ole Miss in the swamp. And I kinda pray they go undefeated, just so we don't have to listen to this again. With the Gators going to LSU at night combined with playing in the best conference in college football, the undefeated season won't happen. While the Gators lost some playmakers on offense such as Percy Harvin, they brought back almost the entire dominating defense including LB Brandon Spikes. They are no doubt the odds-on favorite to win back-to-back SEC and BCS Titles.

Who Will Be This Year's Surprise Teams?

This one is kinda easy. First, in the ACC, the Georgia Tech team that triple-optioned their way to the Chic-Fil-A Bowl last year sports an excellent backfield including RB Jonathan Dwyer. Also, look out for Syracuse to have a 100% win improvement with former Duke point guard Greg Paulus as their quarterback (this will be the CBS Sporsline most annoying cutback in the first three weeks. Close to being on the "Italian girls that wRiTe LiKE tHis" scale). Florida Atlantic, with NFL-ready QB Rusty Smith, has two tough first games (at Nebraska followed by a trip to South Carolina), but they could be this year's Appalachian State.

New Syracuse QB Greg Paulus

Can USC Win with a Frosh QB?

The reason why the Trojans have been so successful this decade is not just because of talent at the quarterback position with Palmer, Leinart, and Sanchez leading the field... but because they are loaded at all skill positions on both sides of the field. And even if true freshman Matt Barkley struggles, they still can look to Aaron Corp or former Arkansas transfer Mitch Mustain.

SI's Stewart Mandel tweeted that "The difference in velocity and zip in [Barkley's] throws vs. Corp/Mustain is remarkable. Looks cool and composed. Gets rid of it fast." And Barkley will have weapons in the backfield with Joe McKnight and Stafon Johnson along with four starters returning to their offensive line.

Exactly How Many Points will Florida Hang on Tennessee?

56.

So, enjoy the beginning of what should be a great Fall/Winter season in NCAA/NFL/UFL/Lingerie Football.

Here are some vids to get pumped for the season. Pause.

Unintentional Comedy

2009-05-06T16:18:00.002-04:00

Contagious by The Isley Brothers f/ R. Kelly. Yes, this is a pertinent song for the times, as the N1H1 Virus formerly known as Swine Flu spreads from pig to Mexican to the rest of the world.

But this video, a staple in 2001 on BET, is a follow up to The Isley Brothers' previous video with Kells..."Down Low". Once again, one of the Brothers' girls is doin them wrong, cheatin with R.'s ass.

- 3:40. Shit is about to GO THE F**K DOWN. You are about to witness the birth of the idea for Trapped in the Closet pts. 1-39.

-3:53. No one can curse-sing quite like the man who pees on betches.

-4:33. Bass drum sound accompanying pseudo battery. Genius.

-4:44. Wait! That wasn't just a walking stick or even a pimp cane!! It was a sword casing.

A Face Only Another Meth Addict Could Love

2009-05-05T12:03:00.004-04:00

Midges are to Joba Chamberlain as meth is to his mother. Unfortunately for the momma of Joba, a few cans of Raid will not cast away her demons.

Jailed on suspicion of selling methamphetamine this February, Jacqueline Standley is facing a felony charge after allegedly selling one gram of that crank to an undercover cop. And yes, I know what you're thinking...how could such a beautiful woman produce such a grotesque child?

Standley, 44, is being held on $5,000 bail, or the equivalent street value for three tickets on the first base line in New Yankee Stadium, two hot dogs, and one beer.

NFL Draft Sleeperz

2009-04-23T16:02:00.001-04:00

The subject of 210 FB status updates today...

2009-04-13T16:40:00.002-04:00

Harry Kalas, the longtime Philadelphia Phillies announcer died today. Those who don't follow baseball might recognize his voice from NFL Films narration, where he could make the story recap of the 1995 New York Jets seem like a triumphant 17-week long conquest.

Podcast April 7, 2009

2009-04-07T21:08:00.007-04:00

DGWH discusses the NCAA Tournament and takes calls from the RTTC/DGWH Bracket Challenge winner Chrissy, discusses the perils of poking former crushes on Facebook with J-Dubz, finally gets Bischoff to agree to fight this summer, allows Cooper to illustrate how I beat up Bischoff back in HS, and Big Mike talks The Hills fight and NFL Draft.

You can download the podcast to your iTunes by clicking the iTunes icon on the player.

ZOMG MAJAH DRAMZZ

2009-04-06T23:12:00.005-04:00

Oh My Gaga! Did you see The Hills premiere?

Sure, the NCAA Men's Basketball Championship was on, but seriously, who thought MSU was going to stay close to UNC? (cough...me)

While MSU was doing their best General Motors impression by crapping out in Detroit, it was LAURENS SURPRISE BIRTHDAY PARTY!!!! Evidently, Lauren, Lo, Audrina, lame-ass Franky and Brody held none of their earnings in the market and sagaciously invested in low-yield CDs because they seem to be recession proof.

Lauren had her ~~23rd~~ ~~24th~~ 25th birthday on a yacht where there was gambling, drankin', and of course a boatload of drama (pun intended).

Heidi came along with Stephanie to the surprise party, and once Lauren saw Spencer's better half, she sorta made the face of when you get the watery taste in your mouth right before you barf.

While Heidi and L.C. (or "Queen Bee-yotch" as refereed to by Spencer) were making an awkward pie on the boat, Spencer and the guy that the MTV producers casted to be his wingman went for a boy's night out. Spencer was hitting on the bartender while Stephanie's ex-bf Cameron was watching. Cameron, unaware of the G-code, snitched on Spencer via txt to BB pin#347434532a and Heidi found out through Stephanie. Heidi then expressed her feelings to Spencer through a carefully-plotted series of emoticons such as ;/ and :( .

Spencer confronted Cameron, possibly creating a fight between the most WASPy suburbanite upper-class first names ever. Surprisingly, Spence got a few good rips in and kinda kicked some ass (We learned in the second episode after that Spencer is a purple belt in Jiu-Jitsu, only 3 belts behind Michael Westbrook [ed. note: it has been made clear to me that Westbrook is a brown belt in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, which basically means he wears a thong while fighting). Oh and notice at 0:48, Spencer turns into Randy Jackson, dawg.

So this of course set off a long strain of Spencer's sarcastic, non-chalant responses to Heidi's character examinations, and the old "I'M GOING TO COLORADO" response from Heidi. Lauren is pissed that Steph brought Heidi along, saying "You can't force someone onto someone else. It's not fair." Evidently, Lauren has been too consumed with recent examinations of law in Afghanistan lately.

The Door.

2009-04-01T00:37:00.016-04:00

Update: Watch as DGWH gets some "face time" on this local Memphis TV report (around 1:24 into the video). http://www.myfoxmemphis.com/dpp/news/040109_FOX13s_The_Door_Achieves_Cult_Status_as_Internet_Sensation

(Some this stuff was taken from the almighty at Deadspin.com)

Local Fox station in Memphis, TN set up a live webcam for the past two days on the door of the Memphis Athletic Department office. These past two days have been most riveting...presenting us with captivating characters such as the unidentified cameraman who once in a while would acknowledge the audience (sometimes upward of 3,000 watching at one time on the web), Les--the grizzled vet on-site reporter, Lauren--the adorable fresh-faced doll investigator, and of course the star of the show, the door.

At one point, the door recieved competition from "the gate", where a second livestream was set up on the gate to Calipari's house. The gate did feature about 12 men with signs, as well as lavish floura and fauna envelping the gate. It did not nearly have the presence as the door.

Just how did the door rise to its popularity, or infamy so quickly? Well, it was a portal to what was hope to be a sighting of now former Memphis head coach John Calipari, trotting out the door to announce his departure to UK, which never happened. Yet, the door outshined the protagonist in this story, becoming an entity, or an inamiate personification of how one can come out of nowhere and steal the show... sorta like Russell Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall. No word on if the door has been asked to host the VMA's.

The door has become so popular, its spawned its own facebook group and now you can share with your friends that you have $15 to spend on an I <3 Door t-shirt.

With all the back-and forth reports about where Coach Cal was going to end up, there was one constant throughout the past two days. The entrance between us and the unknown. The door will one day crumble once Memphis desicrates its athletic department as its basketball program falls to the basement. But memories of the door, Les, Lauren, the cameramen, squirrels, two birds, various people walking in and out of the building, and people commenting on the videochat asking to see Lauren's boobs....well, these memories will always remain.

Exclusive Interview with The Star

Retrospective on the door, featuring Les, the gate, and a life-size Grizzlies cutout that made it through the door.

NCAA Bracket Challenge: Final Four Update

2009-03-29T19:16:00.004-04:00

The Final Four is now set: Villanova coming off an instant classic win against Pitt will be taking on UNC, who handled Oklahoma on Sunday night to punch their ticket. UCONN took out Mizzou by seven on Saturday night thanks to outstanding play by freshman PG Kemba Walker. And Michigan State took down the tournament's overall #1 seed Louisville by twelve in the first game on Sunday.

DGWH/RTTC NCAA ESPN Bracket Challenge Standings:

Chrissy took the overall lead on Saturday night, but her second-place finisher, Louisville, is now out of competition. Mike M. despite riding the Washington Huskies all the way to the Final Four,now looks like he has a great chance of taking this thing, having the rest of his Final Four and Championship intact. I'm stuck in 6th place, and will be in a free fall as the rest of the games are played. Don't sleep on Johnny Mac as he's got UNC winning it all over UCONN.

DGWH Book Club

2009-03-29T18:26:00.004-04:00

It's been a while since my last book review, Cane Mutiny, which followed the first review of the most excellent Boys Will Be Boys.

Recently, LA Lakers head coach Phil Jackson has publicly stated that he is unsure of coming back next season to coach the Lakers. Jackson, 63, cites concerns of his own health as well as the team's success this year as major factors regarding his future with the team.

Such a decision mirrors what Jackson wrote about in his 2004 book The Last Season: A Team in Search of Its Soul. This book chronicled the often turbulent 2003-2004 season of the Lakers, of which much was expected of a team featuring four future Hall of Famers including Kobe Bryant, Karl Malone, Shaquille O'Neal, ~~Slava Medvedenko,~~ and Gary Payton.

The Last Season chronicles forces both on and off the court that can affect a team. Jackson discusses his often tumultuous relationships with players and members of the Lakers' front office, which also includes his girlfriend Jeannie, daughter of Lakers' owner Dr. Jerry Buss.

One of the most compelling aspects of this book is Jackson's relationship with Kobe Bryant--himself going through court proceedings regarding rape allegations during the 03-04 season. Jackson does not hold back in his criticisms of Bryant, detailing his sometimes uncontrollable immaturity and anger.

Almost every chapter, I found myself saying "damn Kobe is a bitch"...like how he didn't wouldn't allow Shaq's favorite trainer taping him up because he wouldn't do as good of a job on him. Or how Kobe wouldn't give the time of day to reporters who spent much time around O'Neal after games. Shaq and others weren't completely out of the bitch catagory, but by far, Kobe seems like a huge ass after reading these memoirs.

After the '04 season in which LA lost to the Pistons 4-1 in the NBA Finals, Jackson went on to retire as head coach of the Lakers and was replaced by Rudy Tomjonavich, but Jackson eventually returned in 2005 to become head coach once again. This book is a great read just because its hard to imagine how Jackson came back to coach one of the players he totally dogged in his book. It's also funny to read how Jackson would have the team meditate and spread scents of sage and rosemary around the room. I could imagine Malone and Shaq being like what is this bs?

NAWG of the Week

2009-03-29T18:08:00.012-04:00

First...tonight brings another podcast f/ Fuzzy Byskitz on the tournament and other stuff. Also tonight, I'll be updating on the RTTC/DGWH NCAA Bracket Challenge standings.

Our "Normal Assed White Girl of the Week" is Laurel, 19, from Udel. She's in the CollegeHumor.com "Hottest College Girl" competition.

One of our followers, who we will refer to as "creepy guy', said of Laurel: "I bet she smells really good." Yup, these are my readers .

PAWG of the week: Mar 27, 2009

2009-03-27T22:00:00.004-04:00

I know it's been a while folks but the world's most gutter Jew, Fuzzy Byskitz, is back to lace you with a new phat butted white broad. It's getting tougher and tougher folks, it's not easy to continually find women of caucasia with extraordinary rump. I had to call for backup on this one.

This week's PAWG was referred to me by my boy Byron. Byron played high school ball with Mike Beasley and Kevin Durant. He's also humped several of my co-workers. Anyway, we all have Byron to thank for.........

D'nika Romero!!!!

This phat white specimen is actually a fitting PAWG this week since she played college ball herself. D'nika was a member of the Texas A&M Lady Aggies basketball team. I'm guessing that A&M stands for A$$ and Mo' A$$!!! Lawd I would give a good chunk of my paycheck to have this buxom flour doggie block me out on the boards.

Now remember ladies, not to discriminate but I'm talking to the cave chicks. Bringing the PAWG of the week is hard damn work! Help me out snow bunnies. If you're packin' in the cheeks, take a picture of your butt and send it to us and you too could possibly be the next PAWG of the week. Definitely something prestigious to strive for. Until then, Shalom y'all and follow ya boy on twitter. www.twitter.com/fuzzybyskitz

NCAA Bracket Update Day 5: F***.

2009-03-27T00:43:00.002-04:00

Pitt held off Xavier at the end of the game thanks to big plays down the stretch by Fields. 'Nova crushed Duke, who couldn't find their shooting touch the whole game. UCONN thumped vertically-challenged Purdue, and Memphis ruined my bracket by falling too deep into a hole to Mizzou and climbing out too late--mostly due to inadequacies at the FT line.

Da Great White Hype/Road To The Cup Bracket Challenge Update:

After the first round of the Sweet 16, Mike Keating pulled a Slumdog by coming out of nowhere to take the top spot. I fell to second place...but in reality I'm out of it since I had Memphis winning it all. Casey is stagnant at 12th place and also had Memphis...adios muchacho. Only two people in the Bracket Challenge have 'Nova winning it all--Mike M and Thompson--so they might be dark horses in this beeyotch.

I'm so sad.

Pretty soon, they are just going to yell "Tackle!!!" and the play will be over.

2009-03-25T01:47:00.003-04:00

NFL seems like they are going to adopt some new rules changes this year such as:

-Penalties for blind hits or hits to the head

-Penalties for hits to the head of defenseless receivers

-Penalties for "wedge formations" on kickoff returns

-Penalties for more than five players bunched on one side of onside kicks

I can understand the first two rules. The NFL is making it clear they are trying to take the concussion issue plaguing both former and current players seriously. One can only assume plays like Hines Ward's huge blind block made NFL owners seriously discuss outlawing such hits:

But as for the second two, they don't make much sense. First, the wedge, as the NFL defines it, is three players lined up to create a triangular formation to block in front of the ball carrier (n/h). This season, the NFL will only allow two players to be lined up together to block, hoping to cut back on injuries during kickoffs. The wedge has pretty much been around since the conception of football, and teams will have to adjust accordingly. Secondly, the new rule on the onsides kick will make it almost impossible for kicking teams to recover the kick. Look for teams to use the pop-up kick...which is much more dangerous for the receiving teams. I'd personally like to see all the guys lined up on one side and just to see a huge scrum go on the field.

Giants Get 3rd Round Compensatory Draft Pick

2009-03-24T01:37:00.005-04:00

The compensatory draft pick formula is real complicated, taking into account salary, playing time, and post-season honors of players lost in free agency. The Giants lost lost three players last year in FA and signed only LB Danny Clark and S Sammy Knight. Players the Giants signed like DE Reynaldo Wynn and QB David Carr didn't count against this formula, since they were signed after the cutoff date of June 1, 2008.

Basically what this all means is that the Giants now have five picks in the top 100 after being awarded the 100th pick overall via compensation. In total, the Giants now have ten picks in the 2009 NFL DRAFT--including the standard seven, the compensatory pick, and the two picks from the Saints (2nd and 5th round picks) from the Shockey trade last year.

Teams are not allowed to trade the compensation pick, but the Giants are sure to make some moves. GM Jerry Reese has been exceptional in his first two drafts, and will not need all ten to fill holes in the Giants roster. As mentioned on sites like ProFootballTalk, the Giants may be setting themselves up to make a big trade come draft day. (Info was used and kinda plagarized from NJ.com).

NIT Cheerleaders of the Week

2009-03-24T01:25:00.007-04:00

From Monday Night's SMC/Davidson NIT game. These broads are from the Saint Mary's Dance Squad...probably known as "The Virgins" as they are from Saint Mary's. Thanks to Jeff for alerting me to the squad...and to the fact that this game is on. Patty Mills also has a nice ass tape up.

NCAA Bracket Update Day...aw crap I lost count: Triple Hops Brewed Edition

2009-03-22T20:49:00.007-04:00

You've sent out the invitations.....

You've dropped subtle hints to your parents regarding your car of choice.....

You've made it loud and clear that Kristen and Brianna are betches and WILL NOT BE ALLOWED IN YOUR VIP ROOM!

It's Sweet 16 time.

Marquette, taking a note from its French-sounding name, laid down after putting up a little fight with their injured star Dominic James coming back a la Willis Reed style to drop zero points against Mizzou in the loss.

Syracuse beat ASU for the first time in school history. One can only assume that coach Jim Boeheim had bulletin board material posted all over the locker room from the last meeting between the Orange and the Sun Devils, which occurred back in the 1968 Far West Classic in Portland.

Michigan State took out USC, highlighted by C Idong Ibok for the Spartans getting a minute of playing time. Kansas made easy work of Dayton, Xavier moved on past Wisconsin, and Arizona is now the lowest remaining seed in the tournament. SUCK ON THAT SAINT MARY'S! Louisville used a "let the white boy on Siena handle the ball and watch him mess up" tactic which backfired for about 90% of the game. No doubt coach Rick Pitino told his team at halftime they better focus on the next 20 minutes, cause the NBA is hell and you will end up coming back to college. Oh yeah and Pitt won too. Kinda.

And here's the DGWH/RTTC ESPN Bracket Challenge standings update:

I, da great white hype, am still in first place. BFD.

Big moves today were made by Shogun, who currently sits in a twenty-way tie for 4th place.

COINCIDENTAL FACT OF THE TOURNAMENT: Mike M.'s picking percentage (35.1%) is the same as Kevin Kolb's completion percentage...of whom Mike derived his team name.

Games resume on Thursday. In the mean time, enjoy trying to care about the WBC..or the beginning of the MLS Season you french-fry dipping in mayo, addidas massage sole flip flop-wearing clowns. Oh and don't forget to visit Roadtothecup.com.

NCAA Bracket Update Day 3: Your Bracket Is Lamer Than Your Man-Step

2009-03-22T00:18:00.009-04:00

One reader said it right last night, the second round isn't when you win the bracket challenge, but you certainly can lose it. And for all the people that had WKU movin on (not to mention Wake in your FF), you may as well just sit back, relax, grab a Zima and enjoy the rest of the tournament.

The morning games were so boring that Jim P. and I had discussions like "what was the first guy to eat a lobster thinking?" Seriously, was he like "wow check out this giant sea spider that has crawled out of the ocean. I bet that tastes succulent."

Anyways, Villanova looked dominant over whoever the hell they played, and Duke benefited from getting all the calls down the stretch to once again return to the sweet 16. Gonzaga defeated Western Kentucky on a last second shot. Oklahoma ran away from Michigan at the end. And Memphis booted the Terps back to..well..lame ass Maryland.

Standings after Day 3 of da great white hype/road to the cup ESPN bracket challenge:

Wow what a surprise that da great white hype is currently sitting pretty in first place at 97%. Picking Purdue to upset Washington vaulted me to the top, along with Fetter. Good showings are being made by a couple of micks: Kara and Matt M.. Oh and Rick B's picks percentage is slightly above Dante Stallworths BAC after his DUI last week.

NCAA Bracket Update Day 2: Holy ghost of Bryce Drew!!

2009-03-21T00:26:00.008-04:00

Ohio State and Siena players were told in the 2nd OT to act as if they were Chris Brown, and the ball was Rihanna's face.

Another day filled with hot sweaty man action! Siena and Ohio State only went 4 OTs less than UCONN/'Cuse did last week, a bunch of crackas from the state thats north of South Dakota gave last year's champs a run for their money, and USC showed that tribal tattoos are still en vogue.

The ACC looked like a bunch of bammas, while everyone's favorite whipping bitches, the Big 10, well...they have been mopping up the floor with their um, exciting defenses and rebounding techniques.

Here are the standings from the completion of the 1st round of da great white hype/road to the cup ncaa bracket championship brought to you by The Mentalist, TV's number one hit drama:

Fellow 'Cane and UK die-hard Glen is in first place with 96.8% of his picks correct. But Glen has three teams already out of his next round. And once again, ya boi DGWH is in 2nd and holding steady at 90.5% correct, along with Jim, Casey and Fetter. Not surprisingly, a lot of the Kelley's are down at the bottom of the bracket, and thankfully had Florida moving past Miami in their NIT brackets.

NCAA Bracket Standings- Day 1

2009-03-20T00:42:00.004-04:00

Buffering....10%.....19%.....45%......76%.....99%.....

What a day on CBS and CBSSports.com online feed! Gus Johnson seemed to be moments away from rupturing his aorta with every big shot made with less than a minute. Dick Enberg somehow stumbled through "shock blotter" and "block shotter" in the same sentence during the VCU/UCLA game. My pick for National Champions--Memphis--barely got by a high school squad.

And that was only the first set of games.

In Da Great White Hype/ Road to the Cup Bracket Challenge, R. Fetter stands alone at the top with an impressive 99.5% correct picks. I'm tied in 2nd with seven others with 94.2% picked correctly. Among those tied with DGWH are two members of the McSwiggan clan, who chose to utilize the "one upset" strategy to a T.

And BK and his wife are dead last (not including perennial life-failure Dan who didn't submit his bracket champion after waking up at 1:20pm today) with a measley 7.8%. Paaaaaaathetic.