Heart of the Matter Magazine

August 2008 Edition

2008-08-08T00:05:00.001-04:00

We just wrapped up our first annual Virtual Homeschool Conference and I must say it was a BLAST!! Didn't you think so? We are so excited about the future of Heart of the Matter Online! We have some big things coming up very soon and I can't wait to share it with all of you. Let's just say God answers prayers.... in a mighty way! :)

Something else that is soon to be is the new school year. We are busy getting our lesson plans done and our co-ops set up and believe me, we are anxious. I am so pumped about the new school year and so are my boys. They asked me just today, "Mom, when are we going to start school?" awe... Words every mother wants to hear! (too bad it will only last until day 10) But I'll take it while I can get it, eh?

Also, don’t forget to sign up for our new weekly newsletter, which is delivered each Sunday. Our newsletter will contain a recap of the week’s posts, who won what contests, highlights from that week’s meme, freebies, and more! To be included on the list please subscribe here:

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In this month's issue:

12 Essential Back To School Ideas For Mom
Headsprout Reading Online AND Giveaway!
Only "Actual Teachers" Should Read This!
How the Other Side Thinks
Hypocrite Proofing the Home
Battle of the Sexes
Homeschool Built On Christ
Nature Study - Relaxed and Fun
Teaching Emotions Through Conversation
How To Tell Why Your Child Is Struggling part 4
A Tour of Cheapville
Idols and Effigies
All The Validation I Need
Snippets of Time
Let the Games Begin
Public school administrator calls for homeschool exposé
Getting Out of the Way
Give Me the Simple Life
Think before you jump!

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Did you know that we have a Heart of the Matter daily blog, which is updated daily and packed full of inspiration, encouragement, phenomenal resources, and weekly giveaways?

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Important Upcoming Dates:

Friday, August 8 – Yvonne’s Birthday

Friday, August 15 - Friday Meme: Favorite Curriculum or Book

Wednesday, August 20 – Robin’s Birthday

Friday, August 22 - Friday Meme: Favorite Field Trips

Saturday, August 23 – To Love, Honor, & Vacuum devotional study begins

Wednesday, August 27 – Amy S’s Birthday

Friday, August 29 - Friday Meme: Best Tips For Conquering Clutter

Sunday, September 7 – Unit Study Day

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This month's printables
Courtesy of Amy Bayliss
My Personal Secretary
Prayer Journal
Scrapbook/Project Design Layout

This month's cover photo is couresy of Amy Bayliss at In Pursuit of Proverbs 31

12 Essential Back-To-School Ideas For Mom

2008-08-08T00:04:00.000-04:00

Take inventory of your supplies. This is a two part process. First, you must go through all of your materials. Throw out broken crayons, dried out ink pads, crusty paint bottles, things you’ve been saving for over a year that you “might be use one day” but have yet to use, outdated textbooks, etc. Be selective in the supplies you choose to keep. The second step is to take inventory of what you do have. Have you made any rediscoveries? If you are like most homeschoolers space is at a premium so your supplies may be packed away in various locations leading to the famous case of “out of sight, out of mind” . You can easily combat that by taking inventory of what you do have that is both usable and in good condition. I like to take a spiral notebook and create “categories” on the top of each page. You should base your categories by the way you think. I categorize by subject. For example under “ART”, I would list all of my art supplies and art related lesson plans and books; then I would proceed with my other subjects such as math, science, handwriting, Montessori etc. Since I also utilize unit studies in my home school, I list the unit study topic at the top of the page, and then list all of the materials I have to support that topic underneath. Remember to organize your personal inventory by the way you think. You may choose to inventory by child (listing the child’s name at the top and all of the materials you have for that child), grade level, vendor, or even more general headings such as consumables (paper, pens, glue, paint---things that run out), curriculum, games, or workbooks. This will give you a visual list of everything you currently own. This will also help you see the areas that you may be lacking in, as well as areas you may want to consider downsizing; this aids avoiding future overbuying. Once your list is complete you should place it in a place where you can easily access it in the future. I usually retype my supply list and place it inside my homeschool notebook (which I discuss later) for future reference. If you bring this list to your next homeschool convention, you can keep your lists current, and your purchases under control, by listing the items you purchase directly under the appropriate category. No matter where you choose to store your supplies your inventory list will serve as a visual reminder of all of your homeschooling resources.

Catalog your resources. This includes reference materials, magazines, DVD’s, CD’s, learning software, children’s literature, and living books. I suggest using an online catalog system such as Librarything.com to organize your books. By doing this I have discovered instances where I had multiple copies of books of the same book which I was then able to share with others. Librarything.com also allows you tag your books by category, where the books are stored, who they belong to, or all three! You determine your own tags. It’s a very flexible and easy to use online program that I highly recommend for all homeschoolers. You may be surprised by the number of books in your home library. Although Libarything.com is an online cataloging system, it does allow you to print out a list of your books which you can then place with your inventory list. The free membership allows you to catalog up to 100 books online. If you have a well stocked home library you may want to consider their special lifetime membership offer, currently available for $25, which allows you to catalog an unlimited amount of books. If this seems overwhelming to you, you can use Word or Excel or even lined notebook paper to create your own inventory of resources. No matter what system you choose to use, take the time to inventory your supplies. You’ll be glad you did.

Organize your space. Now that you’ve gathered all of your materials, discarded those that no longer serve you and grouped them together by category to create your inventory lists you are ready to organize your space. As your homeschool needs change year to year, so do your supplies and thus your organizational needs; Assess what worked last year and what didn’t. If you have to be creative in your storage planning consider what items you use most often and which you may need only occasionally, or less often. Store the things you use most often in your most accessible places; items you use less often can be stored higher or in less easily accessible space. If a storage area is too difficult to get to, try to avoid storing items there as you will most likely avoid using them just because of their difficulty to retrieve. When organizing your space try to think out of the box. If you don’t have fancy china to store in your dining room and you find yourself using your large dining room table for school anyway, why not store supplies in your china hutch?

Create a homeschool binder. Just as you’ve tailored your home school to your child’s learning style, your teaching style, family dynamics and values; You should tailor your homeschool planner or binders to how you think and what you need. Three ring binders give you the most flexibility over the traditional planners you may find at an office supply store or or most standard teacher lesson planners. Organizational experts such as Emilie Barnes, author of “More hours in your day”, have been recommending this for years. If you’ve never created your own planner using a 3-ring notebook now is the best time to start. Two exciting planners have recently hit the homeschooling market and will make this process relatively quick and easy for you. Two that I highly recommend are The Schoolhouse Planner ($39) and The Master Plan ($37.95). Virtually every form and planning tip you’ll ever need is included in both of these planners. Remember, by using a 3-ring binder planning system, you can also design any additional forms you may need and insert them directly into your personalized planner. I use two 3-ring binders to keep myself organized. I keep my homeschool binder at my desk as a reference, and the other notebook is my lesson planner for the upcoming school year. Depending on the number of students you have in your homeschool, you may choose to combine yours in one or divide them in two as I have. Again, customization is the key, but here are the tabs that I incorporate in my homeschool binder:

CONTACTS
Insert all of the phone lists you’ve received from your co-op, homeschool support group etc. You should also include blank form pages where you can write in other important contacts you make throughout the year. This will serve you when it comes time to plan playdates or outings in the future. Don’t forget to ask for email addresses if you prefer to communicate that way!

WEBSITES
Sure you’ve been faithfully hitting “add to favorites” on your browser but now that it’s a mile long do you even know what sources are on there? How many are inactive? What about those password protected sites and membership sites you have joined? I faithfully log my favorite websites into the binder by category and also have another sheet (available in homeschool planner, X planner and DonnaYoung.org) that I use to log the website url, my user name and password.

INVENTORY
I insert all of my inventory, book and supply lists here.

RESOURCES
I include a list of my favorite magazines and catalogs complete with customer service numbers, subscription information and customer numbers.

FIELD TRIPS
I insert all of my field trip finds in this binder along with our tried and true favorites. Then when I’m desperately trying to come up with a field trip idea, I have something to leaf through and jog my tired mom brain. Since many places offer special programs I also make sure to include contact information and program outlines (which I update each August in preparation for the upcoming school year). Don’t forget to include website addresses, contact information and hours of operation to aid in your future planning.

DIRECTIONS
I have no sense of direction so I keep a list of directions to just about everything in here: friends homes, field trip locations, etc. This saves me time looking it up each time and also has proved useful when I need to provide directions to others.

FORMS
I make extra copies of forms that I might use throughout the year and store them in page protectors in this binder. These forms include: to do lists, library book lists, field trip sign-up sheets, etc.

WISH LISTS
As an eclectic homeschooler I tend to overbuy. In my quest to be a better steward I’ve discovered the “wishlist”. It’s simply a list that I keep where I write in each product, book or curriculum that I’ve come across that I think I just NEED. Then I wait. I revisit the list each quarter and again at the end of the year before convention. Although I’ve purchased items on this list, there were many that I DID NOT PURCHASE and better yet, by recording the vendor and price I’ve been able to take advantage of true sales and discounted pricing when I’ve come across them---instead of just purchasing from the first place I saw the desired item. So whether you tend to overbuy, or are on a tight budget, consider keeping a wish list. You may also want to keep a list of the products you’ve come across that you can use with your children when they are older, or are ready for the material.

Plan your year & work your plan. Take the time to plan out your year. To do this you need a map and directions to your destination. The map is your master calendar. The destination is your scope & sequence or homeschool goals for the year, and the directions are of course your lesson plans and the activities you will use to achieve them. Make a master calendar that includes all of your homeschool commitments, teacher work days (you should have them to plan and prep, I have one each month), vacation time, holidays, field trips, park days, co-op’s, support meetings, etc. This will prove helpful to you when good opportunities come by, before you commit you can see if you are overscheduled. That doesn’t mean that you need to let good opportunities pass you by, but you can see what you need to switch or delete to make room for the additional activities. Next you will need to figure out what subjects you need to teach, how often (how many days a week), how many weeks and in some cases the hours you are blocking each day for school. It doesn’t really matter what format this plan is in, as long as you HAVE one that works for you and you actually LOOK AT IT and USE IT. If you don’t refer to your plan it’s useless. If you have one that is too complicated you will avoid it, or give up. If you’ve never made a plan before remember that it takes 21 days to form a habit. Stick with it, with only minor tweaking along the way, and it will soon become a useful habit.

Have a backup plan. Sometimes even the best laid plans don’t work out. So what do you when the great new curriculum that everyone raved about is getting the thumbs down from your child and leaving you pulling your hair out? Do you have a back up plan for its replacement? What will your homeschool day look like when you are unable to work with one child because you have to nurse another sick child? Do you have a box of fun educational games you can pull out, or easy projects he or she can work on by themselves? What about when the rain or snow keeps you inside for days on end and everyone is getting cabin fever? You’ve made your master plan, now include a backup plan.

Pick your uniform. Yes, I’m serious. You probably have one already. Do you get up each day, pile your hair in a twisted pony tail on top of your head, pull on some sweat pants and a ratty t-shirt or sweat shirt? If you have never done this you are one of the lucky few. Oprah did a show a few years ago where she showcased moms across the country dressed in exactly the same uniform I described above. If you are like most moms you hit the ground running each morning and probably neglect to take care of yourself and make yourself look pulled together. Doing so is not only a blessing and a gift to your husband, its one to you as well. Studies have shown you will feel better about yourself and have more energy if you are dressed for the day. Even the Flylady lists this crucial step (including shoes, not flip flops or barefeet) in her homemaking advice. So decide what your uniform will be and you will save yourself time in the morning. Living in sunny Florida my uniform includes a nice blouse and dress shorts. I lay my clothing out the night before and I keep my makeup simple so I can literally apply it all in less than 2 minutes. By investing in a good hair cut I also avoid pony-tail-knot-on-top-of-my-head syndrome and I don’t have to hide behind the soda bottles in the grocery store when I see someone that I know! What will your quick dress uniform be?

Stay connected. As keepers of our home and educators of our children we tend to isolate ourselves within our homes or families. With so much to do and seemingly few hours available to do it all, it’s easy to do. Of course it’s wonderful to spend time with your family and be content within your home; however God created us for fellowship. You were not wonderfully made for isolation. Stay connected with others, including your spouse. Have regular date nights with your spouse or just time alone that you reconnect and discuss things OTHER than your children and what needs repair in your home. Make time to connect with friends. You never know when you may need them for encouragement or when you can be a word of encouragement to them. Consider joining a local support group, Mom’s group, gym or anything that gives you opportunity to fellowship with others. Since my husband is a frequent business traveler there have been times that I have not been able to get away because I had no one to watch my children. If this is also true for you, do not despair; you can turn to online support as I did. There are numerous websites and forums you can turn to, to connect with others online. Through the years I have developed many close friendships with people that I may never have met in person, but whom I consider my friend and connect with regularly online. We offer one another friendship, advice, support, and even share tips and resources. I would also be remiss if I didn’t take this opportunity to remind you to stay connected to our Creator. He desires a relationship with you. Daily devotions and prayer are essential in your life and your homeschool so make time for them as well. One of my favorite devotionals, Devotions for Homeschool Mom’s and More devotions for homeschool mom’s by Jackie Wellwood, is written just for homeschooling Christian moms. You can also subscribe to a free daily email devotional from crosswalk.com.

Stay educated. You are a wife, mother, homemaker, and educator. Be the best you can be. Stay educated on the latest homemaking tips, parenting advice, marriage tips and educational studies and resources. Professionals regularly turn to trade publications and books to keep them current in their field. You should do the same. Especially in today’s political tide it’s critical that you keep up to date with homeschooling laws and news regarding the current state of our rights as homeschoolers. By joining local and national homeschooling support groups including HSLDA (Homeschooling Legal Defense Association) you will receive regular newsletters to keep you updated. Subscribe to homeschooling magazines, parenting magazines, and homemaking magazines that share your philosophies or beliefs. Browse your favorite library or bookstore for new releases in the areas that interest you. Read parenting advice books from sources or experts that you respect. There are numerous books and articles available to you to aid you in every possible issue or problem you may encounter while raising children.

Treat yourself to new school supplies. Most of us already do this for your children, but let’s not forget to do this for ourselves. One of my favorite memories as a child was the start of the school year. There was something about having a fresh start and new supplies that inspired me then and is still true today. Treat yourself to a new binder, book bag, pens, pencils, highlighters, file folders or even a desk organizer. Brighten up your desk or school room with something that will mark the start of a fresh new year.

Celebrate milestones. Training your children in the way they should go is a big responsibility and a long road, which sometimes is traveled more quickly than we would like. Instead of just focusing on the “big picture” don’t forget to celebrate the little milestones along the way that will one day form that end result. Celebrate milestones in both your children’s character and their education. Don’t forget to celebrate your own milestones. Did you manage to teach your child how to read despite your sometimes overwhelming fears? Did you master math while trying to teach it to your child? Did you finally come up with a meal planning system that is working well for your family? Celebrate these milestones along the way. Look for reasons to celebrate your children and your family. It makes for a happy home and an enjoyable journey.

Be prepared, present & enthusiastic. Do you have a memory of your favorite teacher in school? Emulate him or her. If you didn’t have one, now is your opportunity to be the teacher you wish you had. Give your children your time and full attention so they will give you theirs. Don’t teach distraction by example. Avoid talking on the phone or surfing the internet during your time with them. Be prepared to teach the days lessons. This means being familiar with the material and having all of the supplies necessary on hand and available. Don’t waste time running around the house looking for supplies or stopping to read the lesson plan when you should be teaching it. Being prepared makes transitioning from one activity to another easier and helps keep your children focused. Homeschooling is a gift, treat it as one. Remember you set the tone. Be excited about learning and about your time together. You have an opportunity to make traditionally boring subjects come alive. Don’t let the opportunity pass you and your children by. I promise, if you are prepared and fully present with a joyful heart, the enthusiasm will follow. I wish you and your children a great start to an exciting new school year. You can do it!

Karin Katherine is a proud stay-at-home mother of four who feels blessed to be the mother of 5 year old fraternal twin boys and two daughters, ages three and 4 months. As someone who never changed a diaper until she had children, Karin is surprised by the fact that she has been changing diapers for the past 5 years straight with no end in sight! As the 7th of 8 children, Karin feels blessed by her average size (in her mind anyway) family and wouldn’t mind a few more-- God willing and her husband notwithstanding. Her biggest homeschooling dream is to one day homeschool across the United States in an RV. Please visit her new blog Mommy Matters.

Headsprout Reading Online (and GIVEAWAY!)

2008-08-08T00:03:00.005-04:00

I used to be a teacher. When I first started college, I really wanted to teach kindergarten. All those cute smiling faces staring up at you each morning, kids who love to give their teachers hugs, I even looked forward to wiping snotty noses. But the more time I spent in those younger classrooms, the less I wanted to teach in them. By the time I finished college, I had decided that fifth grade was the place I wanted to be.

Why? Of course there were a lot of reasons, but the main one was that I wanted kids who already knew how to read. The idea of teaching reading terrified me. All those little smiling faces, with their blank canvases waiting to be filled. What if I messed them up? What if I was UN-successful at teaching reading? I would be responsible for screwing them up, and that was not a mistake I was willing to make. Much safer to teach older children who already knew how to read – and if they didn’t, I could always send them out to remedial reading classes.

Now I have a preschool age daughter of my own, and prior to when we decided homeschool, I was looking forward to sending her to school. I was still terrified of teaching reading – especially to my own children! Now more than ever, I was afraid of making a mistake. Instead, I was perfectly happy to send them off to school to a teacher I knew little about, instead of trusting that God had given me the talent and the tools I needed to teach them at home.

After making the decision to homeschool, it became evident that I was going to have to take the reins myself. And after trying several programs that were unsuccessful in our house, I stumbled upon Headsprout, an online program for teaching reading.

When it comes to teaching reading, I think it technology scares a lot of people. It’s okay to let your children play around on the computer, you know, spend a little time at Starfall or PBS Kids, but to entrust reading to a computer program? Even I was a little hesitant to try it, and I have a very strong background in technology (a Master’s degree in Educational Technology).

There were three sample lessons available online, so I let my daughter try them out. No harm in that, right? Well, she sat down and did all three lessons in one sitting, then asked if she could do more! Since the programs we had tried earlier frequently resulted in tears, this was a good sign. Plus Headsprout was having a great sale (1/2 off the entire program!), so I figured it was worth a try. We bought the program.

The first half of the program is 40 lessons, and the second half is another 40. It is recommended for children ages four through six, although older children would benefit from it as well, even on a remedial reading level.

In addition to the online portion of the program, you are sent a package in the mail, which contains books to read aloud with your child after certain lessons, a progress map with stickers, and a reward certificate.

In each lesson, one or more sounds are introduced and practiced. After five lessons, a book is available that your child should be able to read. Books are also available to print out after subsequent lessons to practice new skills. Lessons also teach sounding out, punctuation, and comprehension.

Each lesson should take between 15-20 minutes, although it depends on the child. We took a little longer than the average time.

Headsprout also recommends doing 3-5 lessons per week. Since we generally school 4 days a week, we did 4 lessons a week in the beginning. Towards the end, we switched to doing a lesson every other day and practicing reading with the Headsprout readers on the opposite days. When we finish the program, it will have taken us about 8 months to finish the entire program.

We are currently at Lesson 72 and I am thrilled with the progress my daughter has made. She is reading very well and this is the first program we have used that did not induce tears every day.

One thing I really liked about the program were the books available to print. Since I had reservations about using an online program, having actual print material to practice reading with helped me to feel more confident about the program, and reading those books together on the couch provided some fun snuggle time for us.

Another thing I appreciate about the program (although my daughter probably would not agree) is the amount of repetition provided. There are games in each lesson which enforce the new sounds being taught. Flash cards are also available after each lesson to provide even more reinforcement, if it is needed.

Overall, my husband and I are very satisfied with the program and with the results we have seen in our daughter. I’m no longer scared of teaching reading because Headsprout has made it easy for me. I would highly recommend the program to anyone teaching reading to their child, either as a base for their reading program or at least for a portion of it.

To learn more about the program, visit Headsprout, and if you are interested in trying it out, I have great news! The Heart of the Matter and Headsprout are giving away a free subscription! If you are interested in trying out this program with your child, leave us a comment and it could be yours to try for free!

Amy is a military wife and homeschooling mom to their four year old daughter. Amy has a passion for sharing the joys of homeschooling a preschooler, as well as homeschooling in a military family. Please visit her at her blog, Allen Academy

Only "Actual Teachers" Should Read This!

2008-08-08T00:03:00.004-04:00

A virtual school had an advertisement with a parent testimonial stating: “We have found the K12 curriculum to be far above anything we could have done on our own, plus we have the added advantage of an actual teacher for help.”

I was just sitting there innocently, when this advertisement jumped out and bit me! It was an unprovoked attack! What a frustrating, frustrating thing to read! I’m done homeschooling now. In retrospect, I know with 100% certainty that I was an ACTUAL TEACHER! Don’t be fooled! Homeschooling parents ARE actual teachers - the best possible teachers for their children.

That same virtual school had another advertisement that said: “Student/student interaction is also actively encouraged, so (this virtual school’s) students are always well-educated and well-socialized.”

Ugh! I suppose nothing drives homeschoolers crazier than the “socialization issue.” And to hear that coming from a “homeschool virtual academy” was completely unexpected. I think that groups that worry about children being “well-socialized” are NOT homeschooling groups. It’s one of those “ah ha” statements that really indicates a lot about a group.

You can confidently stand your ground anytime someone tells you that you need a classroom experience to be “well-socialized.” Be polite, but firm, and explain that your homeschooled children ARE well-socialized, and they didn’t need a classroom environment to get that way. Friends and family, people of all ages, and the normal comings and goings of your life provide all you need to “socialize” your children.

When my children graduated from homeschool, they were both given full-tuition scholarships to their first choice university. We were so excited when that happened, and I was thrilled that our academic work was valued so highly by the college. And then I heard the truth about the scholarship. There were a couple of thousand students admitted to the college that year but only 100 were invited to an all-day competition for a full-tuition scholarship. Of those 100, only ten were chosen for the full-tuition scholarship.

Homeschoolers brought home 20% of those prizes that year (grin!).

I found out that my boys weren’t chosen for their academics at all! All 100 kids invited had great grades and SAT scores. Instead, the students were evaluated based on how they interacted with the other students and adults when they thought nobody was looking.

Did you catch that? They were given the scholarship because of their socialization skills!

We live at home with our kids, and we see their occasionally rotten behavior more than anyone else – maybe that’s all we can see in front of us! But we can also spend all day molding and shaping our children, and that’s why socialization isn’t a problem. We have all that time needed to help them work through those socialization issues in the home.

I saw an advertisement for another online school. Their advertisement said: “One to one student/teacher interaction…. give your child an education comparable to the best private schools” and “You can enroll… to receive curriculum and teacher service.”

I know that it’s the season for curriculum choices, and you will be FLOODED with homeschool advertisements. I just want to point out that with independent homeschooling you ALSO have a one-to-one student-teacher interaction. And you don’t need online help to get it! And homeschoolers have MORE than just a great student-teacher ratio because a homeschooling parent is MORE than a teacher, not less. Parents are love-givers of their children, not just care-givers. It’s the love that makes all the difference. It’s the love that will help us know what is best for our children, and it is love that will give us the wisdom to guide them into adulthood.

May I also suggest that we shouldn’t want to be compared to ANY school, not even a good one. We have a saying in our family, “Never compare – someone always gets hurt.” That is true if you are comparing yourself to other schools as well. We don’t want to be like “the best private school” or an “award winning public school,” or even like someone else’s homeschool. Instead, we want to be the best school FOR OUR CHILD. To do that, you have to have LOVE. Not a certified teacher, not special training – just the knowledge of your own child.

Don’t stress about being as good as “the best.” Strive to do what’s right for your child. That *is* the best education. With that in mind, we can be our own “teacher service,” and homeschool with confidence.

And then there is the ad for an accredited national high school that says “Honors and AP courses are available.” Just to be perfectly clear, honors and AP courses are available to homeschoolers as well. Anyone can take an AP test – even homeschoolers! If you give an AP or CLEP exam, or teach a subject in great depth, then you can give honors designation for that as well. This particular program emphasizes that it is an “Accredited Program.” Did you know that accreditation isn’t necessary for college admission? Often a hang-up with high schools, colleges are fairly used to dealing with high schools that are not accredited. Often colleges don’t really know if a school is accredited or not! That’s why they ask for standardized test scores (SAT or ACT) from everyone, not just homeschoolers. So don’t jump through hoops just to get accreditation, because it’s not all it’s cracked up to be.

We didn’t go the accredited route, and both of my students we admitted to all four colleges they applied to, with full-tuition scholarships to Seattle Pacific University. The "accredited national high school" mentioned earlier offers a “High School Diploma.” That may be, but my homeschool offered a high school diploma as well. I bought mine at www.homeschooldiploma.com, in case you are interested.

This advertisement had one other part that I really loved, “Support from highly qualified, certified teachers.” Now I’ll agree that sometimes it does help to get the support of an experienced teacher, but it does concern me when advertisers tout “certified teachers.” If you need support, then what you need is SUPPORT. That doesn’t need to come from someone who is certified in education. Many parents look to support from a homeschool consultant who truly knows homeschooling and can ENCOURAGE you in your homeschooling journey.

Four Things to Remember:

Avoid programs that discourage or dissuade you from homeschooling

Don’t accept the implication that you somehow aren’t qualified.

Remember: you ARE an “actual teacher!”

You are providing the social skills your kids need to shine in this world

Lee Binz is a veteran homeschooling mom of two and the owner of The HomeScholar, "Helping parents homeschool through high school." You can sign up for her free email newsletter The HomeScholar Record and get your daily dose of wisdom via e-mail from The HomeScholar Blog.

How the Other Side Thinks

2008-08-08T00:03:00.003-04:00

Originally published on Heart of the Matter Online 7/24/08

One of my favorite Bible professors in college started class one day by opening his Bible and saying, "Scholars claim that no other passage shows the errors of Scripture more than Luke 2:1-4." [That's the passage that tells about the days when Quirinius was governor, Augustus took a census of the whole Roman world, so Joseph went to his hometown to be registered.]

Silence.

My professor went on, "We have no record of the census mentioned in the passage but we do of many others around this time. We know that Quirinius was not governor for another six years. And what's more, the Romans did not require people to register in their home towns."

Again, he let that sink in.

Then he asked the class to respond. No one could. I was as lost as everyone else.

The Turn

There have been few moments in my life where I can say that an event changed me. This was one of them. Not that I went home and studied the Bible differently, or suddenly decided to become a pastor. No, the shift was far more subtle than that. It was a realization that I needed to become more aware of the other side of an argument.

I had spent my previous years in high school debating evolution with my secular classmates. I could tear everyone apart because I knew my side so well. Any time someone would bring up an argument, I started to smile. I already knew the answer. The rebuttal. I could sit in a circle of seven of my classmates and debate them all. I was unstoppable.

But no one really listened. I didn't convince anyone. I argued. I never lost. But, then again, I never won.

And that day in college gave me a glimpse into why no one bothered to really listen to me. It was because I had never really listened to them. They, like me, knew their side. And so, like me, they ignored the other side. So, in essence, we were talking past each other, at each other, but never to each other. In debate, this process has a formal name. It's called "The Turn". It's where you take what the previous speaker has said and "turn" it so you can claim they were actually arguing for your side.

It's effective. Disgusting--but effective at helping you "win" debates. But it's not very useful when it comes to arriving at truth.

The Truth

That morning, sitting in Bible class, I was confronted with the terrifying reality that I had no way of arriving at truth. I knew I had to wait for my professor to tell me why the Bible was still an accurate rendition of history. And he did. And it was actually fun, rewarding, and positively enjoyable to hear the rebuttals. Truth was accessible again; the Bible reliable; our faith well-grounded.

From that day on, I no longer feared the other side of an argument. I certainly still worry that I won't have a good response like that day in class, but I am free to listen to the claims and accusations of the other side. I can truly hear what they have to say, and I don't have to hide behind my well-rehearsed arguments. I can look the opposition in the eye and let him dump everything he's got on me. Then I can dig through the muck and, with the help of those who have gone before me, arrive at the truth. And, since he has seen me listen to him, my opponent may be more willing to listen to me.

And this openness is something we need to encourage in those around us: Friends, family, and children. It's something we need to encourage within the Christian and homeschooling community as well. Not that we all need to devote our lives to apologetics, politics, or science, but we should be willing to consider the arguments of those who disagree with us. And as we consider those ideas together, in a give and take discussion, we will have a much higher chance of arriving at truth with the other person, rather than sitting on it alone.

Let the Light In

So what are the pet doctrines and beliefs you hold to? Do you have a particular stance on, say, birth control, evolution, politics, abortion, capital punishment, the age of the earth, eschatology, modesty, or dating? As a particularly opinionated person--my mother assures me I come by "honestly"--I have an opinion on almost all of these subjects, and plenty more. But as my opinions solidify, I am learning to leave them open to the honest questions raised by others. This is not indiscriminate open-mindedness, but rather, as my dad once quoted to me, "The purpose of an open mind is to close it again on something solid." Thus, if you find yourself particularly passionate about a subject or issue, may I encourage you to look into the other side's perspective. You may discover a need to tweak your own beliefs, or you may find that you are more convinced of your position than before. In either case, you will be better able to communicate with those who hold to the other side.

And as you talk with your children, may I encourage you also to expose them to the statements and arguments of positions you do not hold. As you do this, you will begin laying the foundation for them to grow up to be winsome and effective ambassadors for Christ, able to discern the truth and share it with others. This will also allow them to have those moments, like I did that day in college, where their faith is reaffirmed, their resolve strengthened, and their hearts made ready and humble for when they discuss difficult issues with others.

Luke Holzmann is the son of John and Sarita Holzmann, founders of Sonlight Curriculum, Ltd., in Littleton, CO, where he is the Media Relations Specialist. He attended Biola University, in La Mirada, CA, and earned the BA in Motion Picture Production. You can find his work at http://www.sonlightblog.com/, production-now.com, and lukeholzmann.blogspot.com.

Hypocrite Proofing the Home

2008-08-08T00:03:00.002-04:00

Originally published on Heart of the Matter Online 7/28/08

Recently, a friend called and was a little stressed; her son had begun asking difficult math questions. These weren’t your ordinary difficult math questions. She called me because she knew I could relate – like her, I also have an age discrepancy between my wedding date vs my child’s birth (not to mention my oldest daughter was my flower girl). “How’d that happen, mom?” Maybe some of you are in the same boat? Are you dreading certain subjects that might be a little bit… ahem… awkward?

How do you teach your kids what is right when they cannot look to your childhood or young adulthood as an example? My friend was feeling a little anxious and was worried that her child might be shaken up over the news that his parents were not the picture perfect model of purity and chastity.

It was a neat conversation. I have never thought of my past as being a ‘scary topic’. On the contrary, I truly believe that for those of us who were saved later in life, our past affords a great opportunity to personally illustrate the most incredible thing in the universe.

Very early on, my husband and I always tried to be completely real and transparent in front of our kids about who Christ is and how He came to save sinners. Sinners like us, and sinners like them. Even when they were very young I would take advantage of opportunities to let my kids know that my life was a slimy mess when I did not walk in obedience to God (and that it can still be a slimy mess when I don’t walk in obedience to God… but more on that later). And even still, when my children notice somebody who seems particularly wicked: a nasty, rebellious looking teenager yelling at their parents, an immodestly dressed woman, the drunk man who makes a spectacle of himself in town, etc, I let them know, “It looks like they don’t know our Lord”. And I also let them know, “Kids, before I knew the Lord, my actions looked even uglier. There are a lot of things that God has saved me from. I am grateful for His mercy and grace”.

No, I don’t think that my past will be a stumbling block to my children. My past is an incredible testimony of the Truth of Christ, which transforms lives completely. If I am faithful, it is an opportunity to live out a beautiful life of grace and love that has been born out of what used to be a miserable mess. The challenge is not the past, the challenge is the present. If we claim Christ today, what are our kids seeing in our lives here and now? I know from personal experience that if the mama is acting like a nasty sea hag all day, but instantly transforms into a smiling, sweet, sappy saint when the pastor’s wife suddenly rings up on the phone, a very loud character training message is being sent. If we claim Christ, we cannot be liars.

It is not just the outward, blatant sins that should have been ‘put away with the old man’ The nastiness of hypocritical, angry, dominating spirits – those sour, prideful sins are possibly even more ugly and destructive than the others. It’s how we live now, while claiming Christ, where real damage can be done.

The homeschool community is an interesting one. It is growing by leaps and bounds, yet it still seems predominantly comprised of families that are Christian and Conservative. I wonder how (or if) these parents of first and second generation homeschoolers are hypocrite proofing the home. As much as I hate to admit it, it seems likely to find an air of arrogance and hypocrisy with these ‘above average Christian kids’. These kids know the statistics; they know they are outscoring their public school counterparts academically. When they meet strangers at the store, on an airplane, in the doctor’s office, at church, they hear the same thing, “You seem so mature. You communicate so well. Most kids your age don’t have your kind of manners.” Etc etc etc.

Yes, homeschoolers are getting a reputation for generally being better behaved, more mature, better communicators, more socially adept and involved, less inclined to ‘follow the crowd’. But are they also getting a reputation for being snobs, uncompassionate, and prideful? For those of us who claim Christ (and for our young homeschoolers whom claim Christ) this should never be the case.

There is a story in Luke 7:36. It begins with a Pharisee who desired to have Jesus dine with him, so Jesus went to his home for a meal. While he was there, it says that a woman, who was a ‘known sinner’ heard that he was at the Pharisee’s house, so she brought an alabaster box of ointment, and she stood at Jesus’ feet, behind him, weeping. And she began wiping her tears off of his feet with her own hair and anointed his feet with the oil. When the Pharisee saw this, it says that he thought to himself, “If this Jesus was truly a prophet he would know what manner of woman who is touching him”. And Jesus spoke to him and said, “There was a certain creditor which had two debts: the one owed five hundred pence and the other owed fifty. And when they had nothing to pay, he frankly forgave them both. Tell me, then, which one of those two debtors will love him the most?” and the Pharisee answered, “I suppose that it would be the one whom he forgave more, that will love him the most” And Jesus told him that he judged correctly, and then he said, “Her sins, which are many, are forgiven; for she loved much: but to whom little is forgiven , that one loves little. I don’t know about you, but that really compels me to desire to teach my kids the full truth. I cannot just teach them what they should not do. The void left by the “don’t dos” needs to be filled in with what they should do. “Don’t do this, do this instead”. If my character training boils down to, “don’t dress like Susie, she looks like a hooker” or if I am simply pointing out the faults in others as examples of Christian failure, then I am setting up myself, and my kids, to be the biggest ugliest Pharisees that ever walked the continent.

Our children’s good manners, superior education, modest clothing, hard work ethics, community service, bible verse recitation, or various other ‘deeds’ cannot save them. In all actuality there is a potential there to accidentally cultivate a false sense of security that becomes a significant danger to them later. Don’t get me wrong, these are all very good things and we are wise to train our children in righteousness, diligence, and the like. My entire point is that we must not neglect to train them in humility, compassion and kindness. How do you teach a child that? Do they realize they are sinners? Do they know how far away they are from God? Do they know they need a savior? Or are they like the Pharisee in Luke 18:9 who stood praying to himself, saying “Thank you God for not making me like other men, extortionists, unjust, adulterers, or like that tax collector” While the tax collector, who had been used as the Pharisees ‘object lesson’, would not even look up to heaven, and he beat his chest and cried, “Be merciful to me, a sinner!” Who do you think was justified? Christ said that “Everyone who exalts themselves will be abased, and he who humbles himself will be exalted”

This is not the easiest letter for me to write, because I know I am guilty of not training my kids in humility by my example. It is easier to have a ‘works oriented’ mindset. It is easier to hand out lists than to lead by example. And it is easy to fall into a false philosophy that goes in the other extreme that says, “Don’t shelter your kids from the world, let them experience a bit of sin so they will see their need for God” (yes, there really is tripe like that making the rounds)

Nobody said it would be easy. And you, like me, may have days where there is a temptation to hand off this huge responsibility to somebody else (or somebody we think is ‘more qualified’). Well, sorry, my friend. God chose YOU to be their parent. And He must know that you are capable for the task. Nothing is impossible with Him. Love God. Know Him. Obey His Word, seek Him first above all else. It is not impossible. It is imperative. It is what we are called to.
God bless you as you seek Him. We are in this together. I pray we will be faithful with the treasure He has given us.

Jenefer Igarashi is married to Geoff the Great and homeschools their six children (ages 4 – 19) near the Smoky Mountains in East TN. They keep busy by raising chickens (for eggs and meat) and also goats (for milk and meat). Those six kids come in mighty handy as slave labor. Just kidding. Sort of. The next project is to "successfully" garden and to put in more fruit trees and raise honey bees. This has all been a major change from their fast paced life in California. It's always an adventure. Visit Jen at her blog, http://www.jenig.us/

Battle of the Sexes

2008-08-08T00:03:00.001-04:00

Originally published on Heart of the Matter Online 7/14/08

I get furious at times because my children simply won’t cooperate. Why can’t they be quiet and alert, paying attention to every detail of every assignment, and get it right the first time? Why must multiplication be an equivalent to a trip to the dentist? Why can’t my children sit still in a chair for five minutes without tapping a pencil, shaking their head from side to side, making paper airplanes out of their assignment, or flipping upside down in a chair? I still don’t think they realize that they can’t write with their toes.Yes, that photo is the view from where I'm sitting.

I especially have a problem with my youngest son. He is seven and (confession time) has yet to complete a whole worksheet. He likes to look at the page and just answer them out loud. He doesn’t like to write during school time although he has no problem whatsoever with writing his alphabet in permanent marker on a leather recliner. He also has no issues with writing his name, full name mind you, in paint on the kitchen table. Thank goodness for washable paints! He is a bundle of energy that cannot be harnessed yet, he seems to learn more than I try to teach him even though he isn’t present for the whole lesson.

I had coffee with Darnelle, a dear friend and mentor, recently about the testosterone laden issues I have with homeschooling and she blatantly told me to, “chill out.” She said boys are just different from girls and we should just let them learn in a way that best suits them. If there only interested in crawfish that come out of the stinky, slime filled canal behind the neighbors house then let them count and subtract the critters. I also learned that if I take photos of them in the act of doing such gross things as “crawfishing” in a canal then print the photos on paper with blank lines underneath then ask them to write a story about their adventure that they are more likely to do it. I also have to remember that he is only seven and that if he is solid in math and reading right now then I am accomplishing something.

I also realized that boys tend to think better when they are doing something. After all, when men need to think they usually accompany that by working on a car, playing video games, or building a computer from scratch. Somehow this helps them process the information and absorb it. So, my son tapping a pencil on the table or dancing in the chair while reading is actually his way of learning. This is hard for me to understand since I can’t walk and chew gum at the same time but hey, boys and girls are just different. Besides, I completely trust what Darnelle says considering the fact that most of her kids are near geniuses and all.

Something else that I realized is that when they are ready to go full force with their learning… they go full force. One child went from not wanting to even do a single math problem one year to wanting to write essays then next and it has only gotten better since then.

I don’t know what girls are like since I don’t have one but I imagine that most of them are somewhat cooperative doing lessons and more appreciative of good literature. I also imagine them sitting daintily in a chair (even if they don’t want to) while mom teaches a lesson. I have a niece who makes a mockery of the statements I just made but I know as a child that I was more receptive to learning than the boys in my class. Most of my little girl friends were as well. What do you all think about the battle of the sexes?

Amy Bayliss is 3rd year homeschooling mom to three boys. She enjoys writing about the eclectic teachings that bring a glimmer of curiosity to the eyes of her sons. In addition to being the Co-owner and Director of Development for Heart of the Matter, she writes for CWO's Internet Cafe. Be sure to visit her blog, In Pursuit of Proverbs 31.

How To Tell WHY Your Child Is Struggling (Part 4 of 4)

2008-08-08T00:00:00.019-04:00

(This is the last of a 4 part series.)

Many educators who follow brain research believe that there are four "Learning Gates" that need to be properly functioning for a child to have an easy time learning.

The Four "Learning Gates" are:

1. Visual processing
2. Visual/motor processing (writing)
3. Auditory processing
4. Focus/attention processing

This article will review information regarding the fourth learning gate:

Focus/Attention Processing:
When a child is having to use too much energy to keep his mind on his work, then that is the area that is a learning block to him. This child often has a body chemistry that is upset, and can be changed with simple methods at home. At times a parent finds that working with a professional in this area is most helpful.

Often a parent will say of such a child: “He can focus on movies, video games, or Legos for hours, but can't focus on his schoolwork for more than five minutes.” It is important to realize what is going on, so we don’t become frustrated with this type of child. Movies, video games, or Legos require little energy because children find them interesting and undemanding. On the other hand, a history or math lesson requires much more effort on the child’s part. If the child has an “energy leak” in a certain area, then he will have to work much harder to remain focused. Therefore it is important to determine whether a child is struggling with an academic task because of an actual learning block, which causes task avoidance (because of its difficulty), or a focusing problem.

Many times these children are struggling with sensory integration issues that make them look unfocused.

We’ll look at the characteristics of a child struggling with a focus issue, and a child struggling with sensory integration issues separately, even though they often overlap.

The official terms that are often used for children who have difficulty remaining focused on a task that they are capable of doing are Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) and Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD).

ADD refers to a child who is not acting out or moving around, and can even look attentive during a task, but is generally absorbed in his own thoughts and daydreams to the point that he gets little done in the amount of time allotted.

A child who is thought to be ADHD is generally hyperactive. This child has a motor that is always running that he seems incapable of controlling. He does everything in a hurry, and some part of his body always appears to be moving, which keeps him quite distracted.

The hyperactive child (not just hyper-fidgety) is usually easy to spot in a group. The inattentive child, on the other hand, is not easy to spot. This child just appears to be slow in finishing work, or in following directions. He or she may seem lazy or uncooperative.

In a homeschool setting we do not have to focus on labels, or official diagnoses most of the time. We just need to discover if the child we are working with exhibits enough symptoms to warrant further exploration on this topic. In homeschooling we can focus on the solution, rather than a label.

Since learning is all about energy output, we should ask ourselves why a child has to expend more energy to remain focused on a task than his or her siblings. Once this question is answered, then the action becomes clear.

ADD Checklist

Distractibility
No persistence with a task
Inconsistency in performance from one day to another
Excessive daydreaming during a school related task
Needs to have mom next to him or her in order to finish work
Forgetfulness (of previously learned material, daily plans, etc.)

ADHD Checklist

A child struggling with the more active form of a focusing issue will display some of these characteristics:

Excess motor activity (something is always moving)
Impulsiveness (acts without thinking much of the time)
Insatiability (never satisfied with an activity)
Poor response to discipline
Moodiness
Sleep disturbances (very restless sleeper)

Informal Evaluation

The difficulty with determining if your child has a focusing issue is that parents often do not have a strong basis of comparison if they only have one other child at home who is homeschooling. Thus, it is important to solicit information and observations from the other adults in the child’s life who works with him in both an academic and non-academic setting.

Remember, that to be a real focusing issue, the symptoms must present themselves in more than one setting. It is important to differentiate between a child whose main problem is focusing, from a child who is exhibiting task avoidance because of academic struggles. For example, if your child’s Sunday School teacher says that he or she listens attentively to lessons, and participates lively in the discussions that follow, but “gets silly” or doesn’t complete assigned worksheets, you can consider that this child has a learning glitch instead of a focusing problem. The child with difficulty focusing frequently does not attend to orally presented information enough to participate well in the ensuing discussion.

On the other hand, if your child’s karate teacher says that he needs to continually redirect your child’s attention during lessons (those that are very active and hands-on), you might consider that this child is struggling to maintain focus when his peers do not need to expend any energy for this task.

How You Can Determine if Your Child Has a Focusing Issue

Checklists, such as the one above help identify a child with an issue.
Pediatricians can help decipher the observations you have of your child.
Conners Behavior Scale, or BASC can be obtained by your physician. These are informal questionnaires to be completed by parents and other adults who work with your child in an academic setting. The results are calibrated to determine if the child is merely at risk of an attention problem, or actually is showing attention problem symptoms in more than one setting.
Sunday School teachers, co-op teachers leaders, and other adults who work with your children can help determine if he or she is experiencing a problem.

Resources for Correction

There are two ways that children who have to expend more energy than their peers to focus can be helped. One way is to use compensation, and the other is to employ correction of the problem.

Since it takes time for any correctional program to work, we really need to do both procedures. We compensate for the problem, while designing and implementing an effective correctional program.

In determining the best way to correct a child’s processing problem that is affecting his ability to focus on a task, we need to consider that this child likely has an upset chemistry. The basis for this assumption is the long history of the use of medication used with children with a focusing issue. These medications are designed to help the child focus with more ease, by making the neurotransmitters responsible for the process of focusing, more available to the brain and nervous system.

If a parent decides to try some medication for this purpose, then the child’s pediatrician is the place to start. Sometimes parents try various medications, only to find the side effects to be unacceptable. So it’s a good idea to also consider alternative ways to help balance the child’s upset body chemistry.

Other times the parents are not interested in pursuing medication at all, but realize that their child is struggling too hard to focus, so still needs some help in producing and releasing the necessary neurotransmitters. This is when parents often turn to a nutritionist, naturopath, chiropractor, or nutritionally oriented physician to explore alternatives that seem to help so many children.

We will explore both compensations and corrections for these struggling children. In homeschooling we have a unique opportunity to help the child learn how to control his own behavior, through gentle behavior modification. We also have the opportunity to give this child more time and attention, taking the burden off of his focusing system. We can plan school days that help this child gain as much information as possible from the material, without the frustration of always being behind, or not knowing what to do. It is very rewarding to work with these learners in the home setting.

Compensations

Employ one-on-one tutoring. Children with attention problems thrive when an adult works one-on-one with them. These children struggle to complete work on their own, and find the frequent reminders to hurry up and complete their work debilitating. (See “Managing the Homeschool Teaching Day with a Struggling Learner” in the section following, to learn how to get this important time with your child, while still working with your other children).

Choose a curriculum that does not require mainly independent work (such as a computer curriculum program, or a self-paced program. These types of programs can be a HUGE stress producer for a focus challenged student!)

Reduce workbook exercises and busy work, such as copying and repeating math problems, as much as possible.

Buy good quality earphones for this child. He could use them to block out distracting noise, or you could have him listen to classical music softly while working on assignments.

Keep this child close to you throughout the day. Your proximity makes a big difference in his ability to focus. You do not always have to interact with him. Just be near him. Even when you are teaching another child, this child can be next to you with his earphones on, completing his work.

Group assignments. When approaching a math page with many problems on it, put a star by those you want him to do in that sitting period. If you are only having him do some of the problems on the page, not all, then he can put a large “X” over the ones he doesn’t have to do. This is very satisfying for the child. If you can’t do that, then use construction paper to cover the problems on the bottom half of the page so he doesn’t have to see them when he is working on the top half. (Sometimes this adjustment, alone, can make a very big difference in the attitude at the beginning of an assignment.)

Focus on study skills. If your child is prone to make mistakes when doing math problems, have him mark all the similar problems with red, and do them first. These children don’t transition well, because transitions require more focusing power. Doing all like problems together greatly decreases their need to focus, ensuring few errors on a page. (Another simple, yet extremely effective idea.)

Take breaks. Many little breaks, versus one big break, helps these children stay on task. (If you're teaching young boys, this is a biggie!)

Involve dad. Assign one subject for dad to do with the child in the evening when he is home. Dads often have a different approach to teaching, and the child gets the important one-on-one time that helps him be successful. Make sure that dad knows the chunking approach, and how to reduce mundane, repetitive tasks.

Use more right brain strategies, since these employ color, humor, weirdness, etc., to put “Velcro” on the information presented. These children may not necessarily be right brain learners, but the engaging aspects of right brain strategies keep them interested, and uses less focusing energy. For example, when explaining a new concept or showing how to memorize material, make it fun by having your child help you draw sketches with colored markers.

Adjust your expectations. Your other children may complete tasks without constant reminders, or may actually be able to perform chores without your intervention. If your special needs child could do that, he gladly would. He wants to please also, but does not have the physical ability to bring this about. He is as disappointed in himself as you are. If you have asked him to do three things, and he completed just one, and comes to you, think about saying, “Let’s do the other two tasks together.” This takes such pressure off the child, and models how to get several tasks done in a row, without the feeling of failure.

If your child had a disabled arm or leg, it would be so much easier to adjust your expectations without feeling that you weren’t teaching him how to be responsible. This child has as real a disability, but because it is not visible it can so easily be seen as sloppiness, irresponsibility, or laziness. God will help you find the right way to work with your child :)

Corrections

Medications: Even though most homeschooling parents are not interested in the use of medications to help their child focus, the discussion is included here, since there may be times when it is necessary, even if it is only for a short period of time.

Serotonin boosting medications:

Ritalin (short release time)
Concerta (sustained release time)
Antidepressants (Zoloft, Prozac, Effexor, Wellbutrin, etc.)

Stimulants:

Adderall (amphetamines)

Dopamine boosting medication:

Strattera

All medications come with the risk of side effects, of course. Parents must weigh the potential benefits against the potential risks before deciding whether or not to use medications.

Diet: It has been known for over 20 years (starting with Dr. Feingold and his famous Feingold Diet) that by reducing sugars, colorings, and preservatives, children with attention disorders have a much easier time focusing. (I have personally had incredible success here.)

Many parents report that when they change the diet of all children at home, that they see a tremendous difference in learning ability and behavior. Some of the diet recommendations that seem to be the most effective include:

**Reduce sugar intake. It’s the hidden sugars that get us in trouble, such as the sweeteners in fruit juice, boxed cereals, granola bars, fruit rollups, soft drinks, chocolate milk, pancakes, waffles, etc. Remember that a Snickers candy bar has about 30 grams of carbohydrates, and 35 grams of sugar. When you add the two together, you get 65 grams. Without realizing it, we often feed our children this same amount of sugar by just giving them juice and a bowl of cereal. For many children, consuming this much sugar contributes to their difficulty focusing and controlling their moods.

**Increase raw fruit and vegetable intake. As we know from the research in books such as Children with Starving Brains by Dr. Chandless, many children are low in essential vitamins, minerals and fatty acids. These children either are not getting the daily nutrients they need for their brain to function well, or they are eating the correct foods, but are not absorbing the nutrients found in the food.

The enzymes contained in raw foods greatly assist the digestive system in absorbing nutrients. This can make a huge difference with some children. To make this difference, parents always had grapes, apples, bananas, watermelon, cantaloupe, and other fruit around to eat, and made sure the children had three servings a day. These parents also kept a plate of raw vegetables such as carrots, celery, broccoli, cauliflower, and green pepper strips along with plenty of ranch dressing around for lunch.

**Use less processed food. As the pioneering Dr. Feingold, and many of the researchers following him, found when food is boxed, it is filled with preservatives. Those preservatives can be very toxic to a child’s nervous system. Processed food also has no life in it. The rule of thumb for brain-healthy eating is to shop as much as you can in the periphery of the grocery store, where the plugs are in the walls. Buying food that is refrigerated in the store ensures you that the life-giving nutrients are still in there. When it is canned or boxed, the live nutrients, such as the fats that are good for the brain have been removed so that they do not turn rancid on the shelf. Of course, there are some good brain fats that are not refrigerated…such as cans of tuna or salmon and mayonnaise.

**Increase water intake. Children are often tired because they are dehydrated. They do not drink enough water during the day. A great book that details all the symptoms of being low in water intake is Your Body’s Many Cries for Water by Dr. Batmangahlidj. He recommends that children drink half their weight in ounces of water. Making adequate water intake during the day a family priority is very helpful for many families. Water helps eliminate histamine and other toxins from the body.

Summary:
There are many things to consider as we teach our children and discover any struggles they may be experiencing. We must keep in mind the "big picture" as we teach. It is so easy to get caught up in being disappointed that some of our learners will struggle and that these struggles will cost us time, and effort, and work and usually, patience beyond our ability on most days. Remind yourself that God Himself has placed this child in YOUR care. He has done so because no one else is as uniquely equipped to parent him/her and educate him/her as you. No one else.

As you consider the suggestions in this article, I encourage you to bring each one before the Father. Though these things are a mystery to us, something to be figured out like a puzzle, they are no mystery to Him. He knows. He knows the exact path that your sweet student needs to take in order "unlock" his/her ability to learn and flourish in all things. And, He is so very willing to share the details with you. The One who created our sons and daughters has enormous plans for their future and we are privileged to be a part of bringing that to pass.

**(Compiled from an article by Dianne Craft - HSLDA Special Needs Coordinator)**

Darnelle is a wife and a mother to 5 children: 4 home schoolers who are currently in 3rd, 7th, 9th, and 11th grades and one who has graduated from home school and is a college sophomore. All 5 children have been home schooled from preschool. She has many years of teaching experience in public, private, parochial, and special schools, but her favorite is home school! Her certification is in the areas of special education and remediation. In her column, Darnelle aims to assist parents in finding and then correcting the trouble spots that often cause academic problems and struggles. Children (and their parents) who are freed from the heavy burden of academic struggles can begin to love learning again - just like God intended! Visit her blog, All Things Work Together.

Homeschool Built on Christ

2008-08-08T00:00:00.018-04:00

So You've Chosen to Homeschool
Maybe you recently made this decision, or maybe you've been homeschooling for years, yet you feel unsure, lost, confused, and are left wondering, "Why, exactly, am I doing this? How do I do it?"

Start at the Beginning

Unless the LORD builds the house, they labor in vain who build it. Unless the LORD guards the city, the watchman stays awake in vain. [Psalm 127:1]

Start with Yourself
When you build a new home, you must first clear the land. Sometimes that means clearing away an existing building. Often, we must clear away our own intentions, expectations, and preconceived notions before we begin homeschooling. If your children have already been in an institutional school, you may have to help them clear away those as well.

Start with Christ
Begin your journey with prayer. Pray about the method you should use and the direction you should take. Begin each day with prayer. If you section out subjects, you may want to even begin each subject with prayer.

Don't be stubborn. Understand that God knows best, and be open to and aware of His direction. It is easy to get focused on your own plan and agenda. God knows your children's strengths and weaknesses. You may feel they are behind. Stop comparing your children and yourself to other
homeschooling families. It's not a race.

Remember, God is the architect. He has the blueprint. We need to follow it in order to have the outcome He desires.

Set the example
Inspirational author Wilferd A. Peterson said, "Our children are watching us live, and what we are shouts louder than anything we can say." Peterson has a great point. If we want a lesson to stick, we need to teach by example. This is called discipleship. Jesus taught his followers by
walking the walk, not just talking the talk. We cannot expect our children to have a foundation in Christ if we don't. We cannot expect our children to love learning if we don't.

Keep your children close. Allow them to help out as much as possible. Yes, it will take longer. When they are young, give them a verbal "play-by-play." Tell them what you are doing, and explain each step. Don't rush it or be impatient. I know, this can be difficult to do, but the more you practice it, the easier it will be for you to do without feeling hurried. Be calm. Be kind. Be patient. That's the key.

Sow the seeds
If your children seem uninterested in something like numbers or colors, you can easily sow the seeds of knowledge without sitting them down and cramming in lessons (which will only frustrate them). Go on walks, and point out the colors of flowers, cars, and houses. Count how many cars are in the driveways. Count how many windows on a house. When you start out, just point out that there are "two cars" in the drive way. "A red one and a yellow one!" After doing this several times, you can ask them the questions. "How many cars in that driveway? What colors are they?" When you give your children directions, use colors and shapes if possible. For example, "Sally, can you pick up the green, rectangular box of wipes?"

Find little ways to sow the seeds. Allow your children to "catch you" praying. Allow them to say a prayer when you begin a session or before a meal. If everyone around the table wants to say a prayer at lunch time, allow it.

Children are known to have endless questions. Try turning the tables! Ask them the questions. Get their opinions, ideas, and thoughts. Here are some great lead-ins for questions.

"How do you feel when...?"

"How do you think ____ feels when...?"

"What do you think we should do in this situation?"

"Why do you think...?"

"What would you do...?"

Psalm 37:5 reads, "Commit your way to the LORD, trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass." Commit your way. Commit your life. Not parts of it; all of it. We have a tendency to separate "church from state," so to speak, but the bible says we need to be in Christ and Him in us. If that is so, then there is no separation at all. Let God guide you, let God guide your home, and let God guide your schooling.

Over the next few months, we'll explore these areas more in depth, so stay tuned!

Mandy is a homeschool graduate who has set out to homeschool her three young munchkins in an unschooling meets discipleship method. In her column "Delightfully Discipled," she gives a glimpse into the curious minds of her children as they follow their natural instincts to explore the heights and depths of knowledge and are led though Godly discipleship. She blogs at MandyMom.com and Noggin News.

Nature Study - Relaxed and Fun!

2008-08-08T00:00:00.017-04:00

This past spring, we finally began doing weekly nature studies. All along, I’ve had good intentions, and we’ve done some lovely nature readings but actually getting OUTDOORS to do our studies just wasn’t happening. I think I was overwhelmed at the multitude of possibilities, and just didn’t know where to begin. Then I stumbled upon Harmony Art Mom’s blog. She has taken the time to plan and share weekly “Outdoor Hour Challenges” that are simple but fun. We can go more in-depth if we feel inspired to do so.

Nature study doesn’t have to be complicated, and it should always be enjoyable -- in fact, our nature studies have become the highlight of our week. All we really need is to provide our kids regular opportunities and encouragement to get in touch with nature. This allows them to develop a real relationship with the world around them. “There is no kind of knowledge to be had in these early years so valuable to children as that which they get for themselves, of the world they live in.” That bit of wisdom from Charlotte Mason goes right along with her teachings about education being a “science of relations” — in other words, children (and adults!) learn best when they are personally involved with a subject. For instance, studying botany and plant diagrams may seem quite boring, unless you have first developed an interest in the flowers in your neighborhood. Let the kids dig in the dirt, help in the garden, and search for bugs and other little critters in the yard.

Almost all of the nature studies we’ve done have been literally in our own yard. We’ve studied all sorts of plants, flowers, and insects right in our flower garden. One of favorite studies so far was of a weed - the dandelions that dot our lawn! We already knew (from previous weeding attempts) that dandelions have quite long and strong taproots. What we didn't know is exactly how and why the puffballs that kids love to blow as well as those happy little yellow flowers grow on the same plant.

We learned that they start out as the cute and usually short (to avoid mower blades!) yellow flowers, which close at night and open during the day. After they are pollinated and mature, they close up again, stay that way for several days, and grow taller. When they reopen, they have become puffballs. One dandelion we found in the backyard had every stage on the same plant! It was so fascinating to see that in real life in our own yard after reading about all those many stages in our Handbook of Nature Study! Just this week Kathryn did her own experiment of bringing a handful of yellow dandelion flowers inside in a cup of water to see if they would go through the whole flower-to-puffball process. I didn’t think they would, but a week later, after looking like they were dying, they all reopened as puffballs! Even the family dog sometimes “helps” with our nature studies. (It may look like she's just laying there in the picture, but she's actually inching her way towards Kathryn in hopes of snatching the dandelion and running away with it!).

Nature journals shouldn’t be a chore, either. I keep my own nature journal so I’m not tempted to take over Kathryn’s and dictate what she must put in it. Here's a bit from The Handbook of Nature Study that really struck me when I read it:

"A field notebook may be a joy to the pupil... The book should be considered the personal property of the child and should never be criticized by the teacher except as a matter of encouragement... No child should be compelled to have a notebook... It is a friendly gate which admits the teacher to a knowledge of what the child sees and cares for... These books, of whatever quality, are precious beyond price to their owners."

When we did this dandelion study, Kathryn drew an enlarged picture of the dandelion seed, or akene, after examining it with a magnifying glass, and then came up with the idea to also tape a specimen of a real akene on the page next to her drawing. She described how it looked to her, and wrote some of what we learned about the dandelion. It’s fun to include a little poetry into nature study sometimes, too. For this one, she copied a little verse we found about dandelions:

“With locks of gold today;
tomorrow silver grey,
then blossom bald.”

Here are some other fun and easy ideas for doing nature study no matter where you live.

Grow a potted plant

Install a bird feeder where you can easily see it from a window in your school room or dining area

Go on walks together, even on rainy days (there are lots of new things to see then!)

Learn the names of the flowers in your yard or neighborhood

Have a picnic and pay attention to the sky, the weather, and any birds, insects, or critters you see

Love and care for a pet (even something small and “easy” like a goldfish or hamster)

God reveals himself in His creation, so we can get to know Him better as we marvel at the intricacies of His creation. I can't think of a better reason for doing nature study than that!

Enjoy your relaxed and fun time out in God's great creation!

Jamie is in her third year of homeschooling, and loving the mostly-Charlotte Mason style she's chosen. She is a joyfully married wife in a blended family, and knows that absolutely anything good she accomplishes is because of Christ in her. Her days are fueled by the love of her family and many cups of steaming hot tea. When she's not blogging or homeschooling, she's probably doing a photography session, gardening, or just playing with her crazy mutt. She invites you to visit her personal blog for more eclectic bits of encouragement and fun at Life and Love in Rose Cottage.

Teaching Emotions Through Conversation

2008-08-08T00:00:00.016-04:00

One of the biggest obstacles parents face when homeschooling a child with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) is how to teach appropriate socialization. This becomes just as important as the core subjects like math, language arts, and science.

Did you ever wonder how these children learn the basics of good conversation? Perhaps you've experienced the blessing of echolalia, the repetitive conversational nature of ASD that pops up during times of stress or pure joy. Perhaps your child is non-verbal and you've been battling the 'how do I teach this kid' struggle. Communication skills are one of the greatest gifts -verbally and/or non-verbally - that you can teach your child. It strengthens their abilities to adapt in their environment. It builds positive experiences. It leads to less embarrassing situations during social functions for parents. :-)

One of the perks I have found in having a child with ASD is the absolute honesty that comes along with his personality. For example, this situation:

Xander: MOOOOOMMMMMM... Harley hurt me....he hit me hard on the arm!

Harley: I did not--he's lying! He fell and hurt himself and I wasn't even in there!

Xander is my 6 year old child with ASD. During a situation like this I can tell by the look on his face what actually took place. If he has a giant, goofy grin plastered across his face, I know that the situation did not take place as he described. If he is stressed out and his eyebrows are wrinkled I know that it absolutely did.

There is something I'd like to point out about the above scenario: If he was smiling, it is because he has been practicing how to bend the truth, or quite frankly, how to lie. I know you are probably thinking, "But how will that benefit him?!"

Let me tell you why it is important for him to learn this skill. Take for example the following scenario:

Random girl: How does this outfit look on me, Xander? Does it make my (backside) look big?

Xander: Oh absolutely, it looks huge!

This is where there needs to be a lesson.

Do I advocate lying in this house? No way. A negative action on the kiddos' parts always has a negative reaction from me. However, we do teach that you should always be polite. Xander could say, "You look very nice" or "That's a nice color."

How on earth do we accomplish that with Xander? We practice with him. We initiate scripts and scenarios and most importantly we set an example (just like with the rest of the kids) by speaking to others in a manner that we expect from him. I am probably one of the only women in the midwest who responds to drive-thru workers and truckers with a 'ma'am' and 'sir.' My kids see me respond to all adults this way.

By the way, if your child is practicing how to lie, be supportive of the progress that is taking place, while reinforcing the proper responses through practice. Believe it or not, being able to speak in an abstract manner - that gray area - is a good skill to have. This will not help them to be able to discern when others are lying to them, as that is a completely different skill that they may or may not be able to obtain. However, it may save them from embarrassment, from losing a job someday, or from finding themselves in sticky situations with those who do not understand their condition.

Angela DeRossett is military wife, homeschooling mother, and an advocate for autism research. Angela can be found blogging at Homeschooling the Chaotic Family and Memoirs of a Chaotic Mommy.

A Tour of Cheapville

2008-08-08T00:00:00.014-04:00

Originally published on Heart of the Matter Online 8/6/08

It never hurts to save a dollar and when you have a family of many, every cent saved is for the better. I have to admit it, I'm cheap. Yes, there's no shame in the name for me. I love shopping at the dollar stores and yes, Wal-mart is my mall. We call it Le Wal de Mart in my parts. I love saving my aluminum foil to reuse on another item just as my grandma had done in the past. I use baking soda for my toothpaste and I hate throwing anything away when there could be so many other uses that I can find for it. No, I'm definitely not a pack rat because I can't stand clutter but I love to do a little recycling of my own.

We are a family of seven and believe it or not, the largest family in my church. I get many responses to our family's size in regards to how we "make it" or survive. I know about larger families who do the same but I guess we are weirdos. Well, I thought I'd share some of what I do when I do what it is that I do. Ha! Many are common sense things that my Mom had passed down to me which also came from my dearest Grandma, rest her soul.

1. Never use plastic plates. If you tallied up the cost of plastic or paper plates in a year, you would be amazed! We always use our dishes for meals. It's easier to simply wash them if you have to wash pots and pans anyway.

Also, use cloth napkins instead of paper napkins or paper towels. You can pop the napkins into the washer and dryer to use again.

2. Do your own recycling. Wash your aluminum foil. I know this is crazy but it saves. Ha! Don't throw that aluminum foil away. If you can wash, dry then fold it away for later use, do it.

We also reuse old school paper or printing paper as scrap paper for math lessons.
I also save old plastic containers after rinsing them out. Yes, I know. I'm a little grandma but it saves.

I use old cloth diapers for dusting the furniture and cleaning the windows. You can also use fabric softener sheets for dusting also but old diapers are cheaper.

3. Menu Plan. This is a wonderful cost saving idea since it keeps me from making unnecessary trips to the store and wasting more money on gas and food. I create menu plans for all of our meals and shop by the week although you could do it biweekly or even monthly. My brain just can't think that far in advance so I prefer to shop weekly. It's really not too much. I plan out breakfast, lunch and dinner. I have a common list of stables that I have to have on hand in my pantry in order to make our favorite meals then if a recipe calls for something else, I just add it to the printed list. I buy all store brand items when I shop. I also make some household cleaners.

4. Turn off the lights! I don't have the new cost saving bulbs as yet. You know, those little curly fluorescent thing-a-ma-jigs? However, I plan on getting some. I have to admit, they aren't the cutest things and they are a little costly but they do save on energy so it actually balances out in the end. One of our home rules is that everyone helps Mom and Dad to save money and one great way to do that is by turning the lights off if you are not in that particular room and turning off the electricity if you are not using a certain appliance. You may not think about it but as long as an item is plugged into an outlet, it uses energy. So we unplug everything even the electric pencil sharpener if we aren't using it. We do leave the TV and major appliances plugged except if we are going on vacation.

Now, don't laugh but we have five children. I bathe my toddler but the boys are old enough to handle their own baths. Thank the Lord! This may be TMI (too much info) but I don't allow my sons to run the bath water more than 6 or 7 inches in height. They had the tendency of filling the tub until it reached the point of overflowing so now they have a handy yard stick nearby to guide them. My oldest is a shower guy but with three younger sons behind him who were completely filling the bath tub, the costs were getting outrageous. I could have gone deep sea diving in there!

As for laundry, I have a motto when it comes to doing the laundry, "If it doesn't smell and the dirt doesn't tell, you are wearing it again, Bud"! Of course, this saves on the utilities and keeps the clothes from wear and tear a little longer. When my children get to the point of their clothes really reaking and the church members begin to stare with red watery eyes, we then know it's time to do the laundry.

5. Buy used. I drive a 1999 used van. In 2002, we purchased our van from a car dealership with only 30,000 miles on it at the time which wasn 't too bad for a two year old vehicle. I have prayed over that vehicle many times along with my hubby's used truck and the Lord has kept them running over 6 years. So if you see a woman on the side of the road laying hands on her vehicle, don't worry. It's just me! Just keep driving or stop and agree in prayer with me.

Don't forget about yard sales, consignment and thrift stores. I love them. I have purchased some really neat finds from yards sales and thrift stores. If you decide to try yard sales, just check your weekly newspaper to see what's happening on the weekend. Most yard sales are Fridays and Saturdays. Map out your routes according to the sale locations. Start early. I usually get up at 5am and start the shopping at 6am to find the really great deals. The earlier, the better. You can find me somewhere convincing a seller to drop a price down from a nickel to a penny. Hey, every little bit helps.

If you don't donate your clothes, you can sell them in consignment stores also. It's a great way to earn a little cash if you're not up for hosting a yard sale yourself. I mostly pass our used clothes along to family members before donating. Save A Life is my favorite organization for donating items.

Used curriculum falls into this category as well. By all means, if you can buy used, go for it! I also try to purchase curriculum that allows me to teach my children as a group while covering multiple subjects at the same time. Unit studies are great for this if you have many little ones. This saves cost and time. You don't have to purchase every new or latest curriculum or book on the market. Shop around and get what your family needs not what you want. That's my shopping motto. Always ask yourself while shopping for anything whether the item is a need or a want and if you're like me, it's more than likely a need so just put it in the basket and don't look back.

6. Cut the green. No, I don't mean the lawn. We don't use credit cards. We have in past but came into a little financial trouble due to mismanagement so we decided as future reference to just say NO. If we can't pay cash, we just don't get it. If it's something that we really want then we save for it. Gas cards are fine but I believe less is best. We have been trying to allot our money to our bank accounts which are Checking, Savings, and Emergency Money. Emergency Money is for things unaccounted for such as unexpected bills as result of job loss, emergency room visits, or emergency car repairs, Aunt LuLu coming to town with all of her kids and crashing at your place,etc. You know, the unexpected things. One area that I must admit that we haven't been as faithful in but will start after this article. Uh hum.... is our retirement and college fund accounts. I don't really know why we haven't been as faithful. In the back of my mind, I'm thinking that if I homeschool my children to the point of their brains are bursting with knowledge then they can get full college scholarships and take care of my hubby and I in our old age. Don't wake me up! Let me enjoy my dream already! A girl can dream, can't she?

Don't forget to pay those tithes! "I, I , I , I pay my tithes, pay my tithes. I, I , I , I pay my tithes, pay my tithes. Pay my tiiiiii-iiiiii-iiiii-iiiithes." (song to the tune of "Staying Alive") The Bible says that if you pay your tithes, God will open the doors of Heaven and pour out a blessing that you will not have room enough to receive. Can you imagine that? Tithes go towards the up building of the Kingdom so don't miss out on your blessing.

Gas is so high today. Every time I blink my eyes, a little guy is on a ladder changing those gas prices. Somebody needs to steal that ladder. I can see it now. Mom caught stealing gas station's ladder. Live at 5 on Action News 9. Well, another cost saving measure is getting as many errands into one trip as you can. Keep gas in your vehicle. Don't imitate me by driving around on the last drop of gas til the point of fumes then stopping only to purchase enough gas to get that little gas light to go off. Car Pools are nice if your children have many activities also. Don't forget to collect gas money from every child. I don't care if little Susy is sobbing. If she can't pay the fee, she is hitting the street. She should have thought of it before she left home. It's really not your problem. If you live in a large city, you may have access to public transportation which saves on cost as well. As a last resort, you could always knock the bottom of your car out and have your family run their little feet off just like Fred Flintstone.

7. Entertainment. We just play shadow puppets on the family room wall and sometimes we count the lint from hubby's belly button. So much fun! Actually, we love movie matinees. Cheap! However, we mostly rent movies. We have Fun Family Fridays around here so we play games, rent movies, then make a fun meal and sweet dish to enjoy as a family. But there are other fun cheap activities that we enjoy such as trips to the park, bike riding, swimming, boating, bowling, barbecues and skate boarding. No, you will not ever see me on a skate board unless you are into Extreme games because it would definitely be Extreme pain. But if my van stops running, you may get your wish. I love water play and games right here at home. Museums and the zoo are other places that we love. You can call around to check which facilities have free days. There are certain days or times that some places have free admittance. We have visited quite a few museums for free. Just for your information, when you arrive during the free hours, don't ask the patron "How much do we need to pay to get in this thing?"

As for dining, we do the same. Check around for family specials such as Kids Eat Free Nights. We love those because it saves a ton. I have a schedule for each week day for Italian, Mexican, American, and even Chinese restaurants in which we can get children discounts. It comes in handy when we dine out but we actually dine out only once or twice a month because the best way to cut cost is to cook a meal at home. I know some folks enjoy buffets and allow their little ones to enjoy a meal from their plates. I, the GermX queen, can't really DO buffets. It's the thought of all of those little hands on the serving handles that scares me every since I got a nasty stomach bug from a buffet style restaurant. I shall not reveal names. Actually, I would but I forgot how to spell the name of the place.

Don't throw out the left overs the next day. We use our left-overs for lunch. You can also freeze them for next week's dinner then mark that meal off your next menu plan. My husband believes in left-overs. He will eat a week old pizza.. I believe his stomach is made of cast iron. Maybe that's why he rarely gets sick! He's eating homemade penicillin. Yum!

I almost forgot special events! We have birthday parties for our children every other year. When my oldest was younger, he would have a birthday party every year. By the time he reached pre-teen, our twins were four and the annual birthday parties for three children were getting costly so bi-yearly parties work out very well plus it allows us time to really plan and save for them. During the years without parties, we have a set budget on birthday spending. We will usually view a movie of choice, dinner at a favorite restaurant and do a little shopping. When the other children were younger, they would always get a kick out of getting a Happy Birthday pat on the back and a shiny new quarter! Oh, they were so easy to please back then. As for parties, you can go "pot luck" and have others bring dishes or you could serve finger foods and punch. There are many tricks to the party trade.You can google many cost saving ideas for parties also.

I always say that our budget is even on a strict budget around here. My hubby manages our finances. I did it long ago but totally messed things up so I turned the reigns over to him. We would often have a home filled with groceries yet having to eat dinner in the dark because I'd forget to pay the light bill. It was so romantic. I just loved how the candlelight reflected and shimmered against my husband's face but hubby didn't appreciate the romantic moods that I kept setting. My hubby has a mind for business and he is so much better at it than I am so he currently handles our budget. He sets a budget for grocery, clothes, school, etc. and I just purchase what we need. I can manage and organize the household things quite well but I have no desire to handle the bills. However, I applaud moms who do their house hold finances. You are very talented mommies!

I hope you have enjoyed your tour of Cheapville. I know that some of you have heard these tips before so just use this as a friendly reminder to continue your ever so cheap efforts and please feel free to share your cheap mama tricks with us. For those who are new to this little land, you are now official citizens of Cheapville.

Kysha is the wife of a paramedic/businessman and homeschool mom of five beautiful children from ages 2 to 18. She enjoys blogging, fishing, reading, working in children's ministry, and snuggling with her hubby while watching sunsets or romantic comedies. You can find her at Love's School.

Idols and Effigies

2008-08-08T00:00:00.013-04:00

Originally published on Heart of the Matter Online 7/31/08

Everybody wants to be accepted. We try to find our niche, the place where we fit. Yet even when we’ve found our comfortable spot, the struggle with insecurity still rages.

It growls at me when I think, “I don’t have any nice clothes to wear,” or “My house needs a makeover.” Then I hear a roar, “You are inadequate to teach your children. What if they rebel? What will people say then? No one understands you anyway.”

In our society, it is sometimes hard to silence the noise. We are surrounded on every side by images and expectations. There are pictures from idol makers, who say what we should look like, on television, the internet, and even the check out aisle at the grocery store. If you are not young, beautiful, and smart your value diminishes. The expectations to be the perfect super model mom are unrealistic. My ideal is not to be in vogue, but to become a woman of righteousness.

Then add the whole issue of home schooling to the yelling. There aren’t many images in the media telling us what homeschool moms should look like, but there are plenty telling us what she does look like. Those negative stereotypes are of weary moms in frumpy clothes surrounded by piles of laundry, or horrifying images of insane mothers who killed their children. I fight against those stereotypes.

However, in my own mind, I have built an effigy of the perfectly organized, quietly patient, dynamically interesting, and stylishly groomed homeschool mom. I don’t know where this idea came from since I have yet to meet this lady; she is an idol of imagination.

To quiet the lies, I must replace them with truth. God’s plan is that I will be conformed to the image of Christ. It is not for me to decide if I’m worthy. Jesus already made that decision. He loves me weak as I am. The image He sets before me is a glimpse of His heart. Are my thoughts and intentions becoming more like His, or am I succumbing to the idols of the world?

The unseen is harder to deal with because it can’t be covered with make-up or cleaned with a vacuum. It is delicate work to be done by the Holy Spirit, and He is faithfully working even now to make me like the one I worship.

photo credit: stephmcg & Lori Greig

Renae teaches her ten-year-old son and two little girls at home. She has prepared lesson plans, enjoyed children's literature, and delighted in discovery with her children for five years. By studying Principle Approach philosophy, she realized what she always suspected: the Bible lies at the heart of all subjects. Find her reflections at Life Nurturing Education.

All The Validation I Need

2008-08-08T00:00:00.012-04:00

Originally published on Heart of the Matter Online 7/10/08

Okay, so I'm really blessed. I know this.

After talking with other homeschoolers about the support (or, maybe more importantly, lack thereof) my blessedness has been driven home even further.

When going into the whole homeschooling thing I had a husband that not only told me I could do it, but said he thought I'd love it. He was so right. And anytime I have doubts he's the one that gives me the encouragement I need at the right time.

My parents-in-law are whole-heartedly on the homeschooling bandwagon. My husband's brother and sister-in-law had blazed the path ahead of us with their two daughters and are doing such an amazing job, that really their only natural response was one of support and excitement.

My sisters think I'm kinda crazy, but not vehemently or very loudly, so there's not really any friction. We're just all so different and accepting of each other's choices that it's all good.

My mama has also always been behind me in this. She was a public and private school teacher for years, and I think that helped her to not only believe her grandchildren could be taught by me, but that it would actually be the better choice.

See? Blessings all around.

But then there's my daddy. Ah, my daddy. Saying he did not support my decision is an understatement. And he's a little louder with his assertions than my sisters. "Those kids need socialization." "There's just somethin' 'bout school - they need to be in it." "They won't have all the opportunities they need." "Those kids need to toughen up and learn to be away from you."

But we perserved even with the knowledge that we did not have his blessing. For as hard as it is for us girls when our earthly authorities do not agree, we must accept that our first authority is our Heavenly Father and to listen carefully to the calling He has put on each of our lives. And secondly, that our new authority on earth is no longer our daddies, but now, our husbands. This conflict can create turmoil in our, still, little girl hearts. But, alas, we accept the line of authority, push forward, and pray for peace.

And I prayed. And I pushed forward. And I hoped, in the knowledge that other homeschooling families had gone before me without the coveted support of their extended families. And that some of them, not only softened their hardcore stance after a while, but even turned their support behind them.

So, we homeschooled.

And we tried to not "prove" ourselves everytime we were around Grandaddy, but, boy, it sure was hard to not "show off" our newsletters that showed the "official" yearbooks, dances, sporting events, and graduations. I hoped that in time, he would see that his grandbabies were learning to read, be polite, play sports, and be overall normal, if not better than(!), normal kids.

I had only been homeschooling for less than 2 years. But already, I was beginning to have glimpses that maybe, just maybe, he was becoming a believer. My mama would tell me about how he would share a "my daughter homeschools her children" story with their small-group at church. She shared with me how surpised he was by my kiddos' learning curve. (A side note: this was all while I was stressin' out about how my oldest was a reluctant reader and writer, and he still thought I was doing okay?!)

But then...

Just before Father's Day this year, while sitting around my kitchen table eating pizza and enduring the chaos that is lunch at our house, my mom asked if it would be alright to bring out the t-r-e-a-t-s that she brought for the kiddos. Without missing a beat my first-grader smiled and said, "I know what that spells - treats - and I want one!" Now, that in and of itself, is not a miracle. I know several public schoolers that are reading chapter books by now, but it was what followed that changed the course of the conversation. My father looked across the table and said, "Gal, I want to tell you that I think you're doing a great job teachin' your kids. I was against this when you started, but I've seen what you could do. I was judging you on myself. I couldn't have done what you do. I couldn't have had the patience you have."

And my daddy's affirming words brought to mind my Father's words that I also long to hear someday.

Matthew 25:23: "His master replied, 'Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master's happiness!

Everyone take a collective sigh of relief and bask in the warmth with me! I knew there was a division there, but honestly, I had chosen to not think about it much anymore, in order to not stress all the time. I just stayed the course in the knowledge that I was doing what I should. But the feeling of validation from daddy is unreal. The connection of our feelings toward our earthly fathers and that of our Heaven Father is so real. How good it feels to obtain their approval. How hard we strive to make them proud. The truths of the Bible are evident at moments like this. Unity in our families brings Him glory. Honoring our earthly parents shows honor to Him. The desire to gain our mama's and daddy's approval is tied to our desire to please our Lord. The relief, joy, and peace that comes when you know you have made them proud is only a dim shadow of what we'll feel standing before our Redeemer. And in the end, how inconsequential our striving is, for they love us unconditionally, not because of our works.

And what else did I take away from this?

Just how important it is for me to tell my own children how well they've done. I must remember how much they really do desire to please us, even if it's not evident in the midst of their "How much more handwriting do I have to do?" screamin' fits. And do I make sure that my children know that their hard work is appreciated and at the same time do they know that they have my unconditional love?

If you struggle with this in your own life, pray, have hope, and keep on keepin' on. The proof is in the puddin' and the truth will show itself.

Be encouraged!

Suzanne is wife to one and mama to four. The little ones are 2 boys ages 6 and 5, a girl who's 3, and a baby boy who's not knee-high to a grasshopper yet. She eclecticly unschools with lapbooks the Charlotte Mason way. In other words, she doesn't have the slightest clue what she's doing, but does it anyway. She lives in a world where there are few absolutes. The dishes don't stay cleaned, the laundry doesn't stay put away, the children don't remember what she told them yesterday. But in their chaotic lives they have found joy. And they'd love to share that with you. So, come on over, kick a path through the toys, have a seat on the couch and grab a cup of strong coffee. Just be ready to hone your skills of "interrupted conversation"! And be sure to stop by her personal blog at http://www.thejoyfulchaos.com/.

Snippets of Time

2008-08-08T00:00:00.010-04:00

What if I dropped by your house one day and asked if you could spare me 3 minutes and 12 seconds of your time? How would you respond (after you got past the oddity of my question)? Would you be too busy? Or would you welcome me in? I’m hoping you’d invite me in. If you’re busier than that, I’m not sure I can help you. You might need to find someone on a more professional level.

Yet, have you ever put off a particular chore or task because you just felt that you didn’t have the time to do it? For me, those are the things that become visual noise and yell incessantly as I walk past them. Sometimes I can just feel my stress level increase with their constant chatter. But how much time would it really take? Do we even know?

If you have those tasks that you keep thinking you’ll “get around to,” I challenge you to pull out a timer and track the hard facts about how long that thing actually takes. Oftentimes our perception is inconsistent with reality. Somehow, identifying the truth about the time it takes to accomplish a task decreases its intensity. I may not have an hour to clean my house, but surely I can grab a quick 2 minutes and 34 seconds to do one task.

Incredibly, upon accomplishing one task, there’s a tiny little amount of motivation that says, “Hey, I’ll bet I could do just one more.” And so you do. Before you know it, you can have numerous trouble spots cleaned up by utilizing tiny little pockets of time throughout your days. In addition to a much tidier house, your level of stress will have decreased significantly, allowing you to focus on the bigger priorities of life.

Even this article may only have taken you between 1 minute, 5 seconds and 2 minutes, 13 seconds to read. Amazing what you can accomplish with little snippets of time!

Dianne is in the third year of homeschooling with her two middle school boys, ages 14 and 13. She's been joyfully married for 21+ years. She continually seeks to balance the many aspects of life in a way that glorifies the Lord. In her column "Blueprint for Balance," Dianne shares organizational strategies for the homeschooling journey.

Let the Games Begin

2008-08-08T00:00:00.008-04:00

It’s that time again….as this issue of Heart of the Matter goes to publish, the 2008 Summer Olympic Games will begin in Beijing, China.

This month we’ll watch the world unite for a time, in the name of competition. What do these Olympics mean for us as Americans, Christians, and homeschoolers? There’s a lot more to these games than the “gold medal count

As Americans, first and foremost, the Olympics should confirm to us the blessing that it is to live in America, that despite all of her “problems” we remain free. Free to worship, free to educate our children, and free to speak our thoughts and beliefs without fear of persecution. Freedom is a gift that is often taken for granted.

For Christians, the Olympics are certainly an opportunity to pray.

Praying for the safety of those organizing and participating in the games in these uncertain times is a privilege that we should never overlook

Prayers for those who are “Ambassadors for Christ” in a China where religious freedoms are non existent

Prayers for peace in a world that is volatile. Peaceful existence is possible, but without prayer will never be achieved.

We also have an opportunity to examine more closely the words of the Apostle Paul to the Hebrews, 2000 years ago.

…Let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. (Hebrews 12:1)

We are ALL “Olympic athletes,” running the race of our lives….training each and every day.

Running our race, the marathon of life. Just as the athlete in these games must come ready to compete, we too must commit each day to the “race” that is our lives. It will require training, casting off all that hinders, perseverance, and the certainty that many times the course will be uphill! Have faith, a race well trained for and run is more satisfying than sitting on the sidelines.

That perhaps is the lesson for our homeschools too. While a study of the Olympics, its history and heroes is a fabulous learning tool, we can take many life lessons from the games as well. Well trained bodies and minds, minds full of values, faith, and morals, are what will ultimately help our children “run the race.” As any homeschooler will tell you, there are days that feel as if they are moving at a marathoner pace and other times when it’s a sprint to the finish. Our goal is to help lead our children into running their own race.

So, the world unites for a few weeks this summer. The lessons that we can take from these games are valuable in many ways, if we take the time to notice. We are all running the race, we are all in the race of our lives. Commitment to the race, passion for the prize, and the understanding that “this” race will not be easy are all part of the lessons that surround the Summer 2008 Beijing Olympiad.

Father, As these 2008 Summer Olympic games begin, I humbly ask that Your hand of peace surround the athletes and organizers, families and fans. Help us to take seriously our commitment to pray for peace around the world. Allow these games to be an opportunity to unite the human race all over the world. Guide those athletes from the United States, help them to be Ambassadors for Christ, in a China that may not welcome them. Father, as these games begin, help me to see that I, too, am in a race. The race towards Your kingdom, my ultimate finish line. Forgive me when I falter at the starting line, and help me, through Your grace, to run this race with renewed commitment each and everyday.
In Jesus’ name,
Amen

Lori is a 4 year homeschool mom to 3. Currently a 7th grader, a 5th grader and a 3rd grader. Lori insists that when she was wrestling with the decision to home school, a gentle voice guided her with the words, "you know what you should do." Never looking back, accepting the challenges and rewards and CONSTANTLY clinging to THE ROCK..."No Storm can shake my inmost calm when to this ROCK I'm clinging." Lori hopes to impart peace and inspiration amidst the daily chaos. Be sure to visit her blog at All You Have to Give.

Public school administrator calls for homeschool exposé

2008-08-08T00:00:00.006-04:00

According to Rory Ryan, publisher and editor of the Times Gazette, an Ohio newspaper, a public school administrator challenged the paper to do an exposé on homeschooling. This seems like a rather odd thing for a public school administrator to do in a public forum and it is difficult to not suspect hopes of another series on abuses occurring in homeschools to drum up public support for greater restrictions placed on homeschools. Perhaps even just in time for Ohio's five year review of its homeschool rules.

If this administrator is aware of anything which ought to be "exposed," maybe he should simply contact the proper authorities. If he suspects cases of abuse, there's Children Services, the police, the Highland County Sheriff's Office, the Juvenile Court judge, all of whom would, no doubt, respond to the legitimate complaints of a school administrator.

Why challenge the newspaper? We are not the home school police. Frankly, we have enough to do to keep up with those public bodies that spend more and more of taxpayers' money each year. But I digress. The Times-Gazette

He goes on to discuss what homeschooling is about...and to reveal that his children were homeschooled. And his digression brings up another interesting point about the relationship between the citizenry and the state and where newspapers fit into this relationship. Jefferson certainly seemed to hold a general disdain for the papers of his day, as illustrated in an 1807 letter to John Norvell:

Nothing can now be believed which is seen in a newspaper. Truth itself becomes suspicious by being put into that polluted vehicle. Thomas Jefferson to John Norvell

Yet he still viewed them as a necessary censor of the government and a free press as a guardian of liberty.

To demand the censors of public measures to be given up for punishment is to renew the demand of the wolves in the fable that the sheep should give up their dogs as hostages of the peace & confidence established between them. Thomas Jefferson to William Branch Giles, 1794

I, for one, am happy to see at least one newspaper that is still too busy "keep[ing] up with those public bodies," the so-called wolves in office, to answer to their calls for better monitoring of the sheep. His comments may be a digression, but they illustrate well the attitude of an increasingly powerful educational bureaucracy which believes that parents, especially those who dare homeschool, should be answerable to it.

And unfortunately, this attitude is not isolated to Ohio. New Hampshire homeschoolers had a fight with their legislatures this year regarding increased restrictions placed on homeschooling. The Board of Education of course supported the legislation, but their reasoning was a bit muddled.

The state Department of Education is supporting the bill. Roberta Tenney, an administrator for the department who oversees the homeschool program, said the bill would help get a dialogue going with parents who are looking to homeschool as an option.

"We want, as educators, to be part of that conversation," she said. nashua telegraph

We need legislation requiring homeschoolers to submit their curriculum to the state in order to "get a dialogue going?" Why does the Department of Education think it has any right to be a part of the education conversation of private citizens not attending public schools? Thankfully, all that came out of this was an earlier registration date. And an ominous commission with as-of-yet undetermined consequences for New Hampshire homeschools with the sole purpose of examining New Hampshire's home education statutes.

In response to Michigan education columnist Kelly Flynn, who also supports greater state oversight of homeschools through the "compromise" of registering with the state, Karen Braun writes,

As free citizens, we are not required to report to the courthouse if we are not accused of a crime. We do not report to the Department of Health and Human Services if we are not on welfare. We do not report to the Department of Transportation if we don't ride public transportation. Likewise, we should not be required to report to the Department of Education or the local school district if we don't intend to use the public schools. spunkyhomeschool

As free citizens, we monitor the government. The government does not monitor us until probable cause has been established. As this paradigm shifts, how long will we truly be able to refer to ourselves as free citizens?

Dana Hanley is a fourth year homeschooling mom to three girls and a boy. In her column, she will be taking a look at homeschoolers who have affected the news and news that affects homeschoolers. Dana is the host of Home School Talk, a weekly one hour broadcast focused on homeschool news and opinion. Visit her blog, Principled Discovery.

Getting Out of the Way

2008-08-08T00:00:00.004-04:00

When reading the Bible, I sometimes laughingly think (with all due respect to the authors of how-to books on the market) about how God presented us with the original home education model. Jesus’ ministry catered to every learning style. He spoke with His followers in an audible voice, using parables (the makings of the first Living Book) to teach them the larger life lessons of the Christian journey. He taught in ways ideal for the visual and the kinesthetic learner, as well, using objects they saw and related to in everyday farm life — wheat, soil, rocks, oil, farm animals, and fish. He used concepts of marriage and family to convey to us, a “stiff-necked people,” how his kingdom should look, on earth and in Heaven. In spite of my Martha-like tendencies, even I sometimes slow down enough to take advantage of a God-given object lesson.

Not too long ago, we made a special effort to travel four hours and awake at 5 a.m. My husband and I wanted the kids to see this little fellow and 88 of his brothers and sisters make it from a mother’s protected place in the sand to ocean life on their own. After listening to a park ranger’s introduction, which teetered on the brink of environmental idolatry, we began the short trek down the beach to view the releasing of the turtles.

I’ve seen turtle releases on television. They are simplistic, yet a marvelous display of our Lord’s handiwork. They instinctively know how to follow the moonlight, the sounds of the water, and the path of one another. The tide lends a suspicious hand, at times edging the turtle further toward the ocean, at times pushing it farther back in the sand. Sadly enough, not all of the turtles make it; birds and other predators are there, doing their part to control the population. However, it all happens in obedience to God’s plan.

Though the journey of the turtles was no less captivating, the rest of the event looked more like a circus than a marvel of nature. Rangers and volunteers were everywhere to “help” the sea turtles. They helped the turtles who were pushed backward by the waves. They helped keep the seagulls away. They helped the turtles who got into the water get out further, faster. Now, for those environmentalists whose work and passion I might have cast judgment on, I can appreciate saving an endangered species or nurturing an injured animal. Yet, as I watched all the flags, all the cautions, and hands, hands, helping hands, I thought, when does help become a hindrance? Where is the line between the plans of the park employees and volunteers vs. the plans of God? What would happen if all the hands moved away and made room for God’s plan?

So, if I apply this object lesson to my own life and homeschooling adventure, where do I get in the way of God’s plan? I overplan, mainly because planning gives me the same thrill that women stereotypically get over a trip to the mall. Consequently, left to my own devices, I can drain the fun and spontaneity right out of learning; an unscripted, nonroutine day can quickly drive me bananas! I overcommit my own time and the children’s, and again, like the Biblical character Martha, can miss out on what is truly important in the name of getting more done. Those may not be your vices. Perhaps you submit to fear to intimidation, to the idea that you are not smart enough to teach your children. Maybe you give audience to the feminist agenda that says marriage and family should only come after your career, and now you wonder if you are missing out on something. If you have been called to homeschool (and no matter how the calling came, it is a calling), any behavior that takes you away from God’s purpose in your life, that pulls you from this particular season of ministry, gets in the way of God’s plan.

I have continued to reflect on this beautiful object lesson as I prepare for our “official” start of school in few weeks. The “unofficial” start is what we’ve done in the past ten or so weeks. The kids have an ample amount of time to themselves during the day, but are expected at some point to find a quiet place for reading and mathematics. This summer they’ve also continued notebooking activities after our history studies did not get quite as far as I expected before we closed our other books. I still facilitate much of our time together as we enjoy some great historical literature together. Overcommiting for a summer afternoon? Perhaps, but I have been more observant regarding what happens when I get out of the way:

A trip to a forestry museum sparks conversation about early 20th century lifestyles and the importance of trading in an era when most families made their own goods and cash was not readily available

A lesson in the development of the Constitution sparks the desire to draft a family constitution

An ordinary day at a beach becomes a science lesson and a Bible study all in one

The Word says that the Lord knows our children down to each hair on their precious heads. He knows our plans. He knows where we fall short, where our motives go astray, and where our uncanny knack of trying to help Him gets in the way. As hard as it can be for us, He already knows where our children will get pushed back, when they will lose direction, and what will rob them of what He and we have planned for them. Our task is to create an environment for them to learn, and then with His gentle guidance, to know when we have helped enough, and get out of the way.

"To man belong the plans of the heart, but from the LORD comes the reply of the tongue. All a man's ways seem innocent to him, but motives are weighed by the LORD. Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and your plans will succeed." Proverbs 16:3

Belinda Bullard is a wife and homeschooling mother of three, Belinda is an author and the owner of A Blessed Heritage Educational Resources, a literature-based history curriculum featuring African-American presence in history, as well as the contributions of other races to American history. A chemical engineer by formal education, she also serves as adjunct faculty for college distance learning programs.

Give Me The Simple Life

2008-08-08T00:00:00.002-04:00

"One cannot collect all the beautiful shells on the beach. One can collect only a few, and they are more beautiful if they are few." ~ Anne Morrow Lindbergh

As I pondered about this month's article, I wondered what the people would want to read about. Saving money at the grocery store? Maybe starting a babysitting co-op? How about a curiculum swapping co-op? Maybe you would like to hear my ideas of canning and preserving the fruit in season? Nah....

I have been a coupon shopper for many years now, and I have also been a CVS and Walgreen addict. I have had a stock pile of health and beauty aids that would last my family through a nuclear holocaust. At one time, I had a stockpile of 30 bags of cereal. And I got a bit overwhelmed. Ok...VERY overwhelmed.

What I have learned in the last month especially, is simplicity. There is such beauty in simplicity, and I really believe that society as a whole has lost sight of that. So, you have a coupon for free cereal. Why on earth would you need 30 bags at one time? So, you got a really good deal on school supplies. Is there really a need for 20 boxes of crayons at your house?

I have spent the last few weeks really searching and seeking. I have de-cluttered my cabinets again and again and have almost feel ashamed at the things that I accumulated that I didn't even remember existed. Yes, I would eventually use up 20 bottles of shampoo, but wouldn't someone else benefit from some of that now? So, I loaded up the van and took off for the local food pantry. I gave away shampoo, deodorant, toothpaste, toothbrushes, cereal, spaghetti, and so much more. And I felt free. Free, indeed.

Keeping my shopping list down to a 2 week at a time list, instead of monthly, made things a little easier to handle as well. What I found, at least for myself, was that if I had too many choices for meal options, planning became difficult. Keeping myself more limited kept the options easier to choose. And, we ate out less because of it. Going to the stores less often, even at "the cost of that great deal" saved me more money than I had saved in the previous month with coupons. And I had less clutter to clean up around. So, my house is neater and more organized.

So, what I am trying to say is that by keeping things to a minimum, life is more simple. There are less things to pick up, less money spent on upkeep, and less stress in trying to pay for or store them. I have found that the simple life is the one that I would like to have for a long, long, long time.

What about you? What have you done to keep things simple in your household?

Heather is a stay at home mother with 3 blessings to take everywhere with her. Teaching women to shop and save and get the most for your dollar are a vision that has been a long time in the making. She enjoys sharing her trials and triumphs at the local stores, as well as some good (and some not so good) recipes to help make those dollars stretch. Her column is a must read for the thrifty homeschool mom. Visit her blog at Titus 2 Woman.

Think before you jump!

2008-08-08T00:00:00.001-04:00

Originally published on Heart of the Matter Online 7/21/08

You've heard the old phrase (or lecture) If all of your friends jumped off a cliff, would you?! I had heard that a time or twenty growing up and I hate to admit it, but I have also said that to my own kids (even though I totally promised myself I would never say those words when I was a grownup)! I imagine they took that sound piece of advice exactly as I did when I was their age-- a la Charlie Brown's teacher... y'know, Waahhhh waaaah wa wahh waaaah wah.

In fact, those words came out of my mouth recently when one of my kids gave another one a wedgie. Yup, that's right, a wedgie! First of all, it's not a family ritual or pasttime to give swirlies or wedgies in this house. Second, umm... we homeschool so where did they get this bright idea? Third, that's just plain old mean and disrespectful to the other person. When the perpetrator of the aforementioned wedgie was further interrogated, his feeble defense was Well, my friend Luke does it! Ahhh... so Just because Luke thinks it's a good idea and fun, does that really make it the right thing to do? And this is the precise spot where you would insert the oft used phrase And if Luke jumped off a cliff, would you do it too?

As you can see, I am quite original in my parenting tactics.

In all seriousness, it did get me to question my own actions and decisions. How often do I do something just because everyone else does it? How often as a homeschooler do I judge myself and even decide my course of action by comparing what I do to what others do? If they think it's a good idea, then they must be right! While it might work out well sometimes, don't automatically think that it's the right thing for you.

When I first started this homeschooling journey, I naturally tried the same programs, curriculum, and schedules that some of my homeschooling friends did. After spending hundreds of dollars, the kids and I were all miserable and ready to throw in the towel. It just wasn't working for us and I felt like such a failure! I couldn't understand how almost everyone I knew loved this particular program and yet we didn't. It took a while for me to realize that I don't need to follow the crowd... I don't need to immediately do something just because everyone else does!

This jumping off a cliff mentality also creeped up when it came to our schedules. Most of my friends take the whole summer off-- we, however, go year-round. It's not that there is necessarily peer pressure in this area, but it is not easy to be the odd one out. To be the one that says, No we can't go to the beach today because we really need to finish our lessons! (Yes, we do take time out for fun in the summer, but we can't say yes to everything). Should I just jump and change our schedule or should I remember why we decided to go the year-round route in the first place?

Oh and don't even get me started on piano lessons, violin lessons, Latin, soccer, swim team, science classes or a million other things that pop up in the course of a year (or even a single conversation)! While all these are good things, should I jump right in and sign my kids up for even one more thing when our schedule is already completely full?

Let me say it again, Just because I do it, it does not mean that it is the right thing for you to do!

I don't mean this in matters that can be hypocritical... y'know, like when you tell your kids to not swear and yet every other word out of your mouth is foul. What I am talking about is taking into consideration the needs, values and dynamics of your own family... Thinking before you jump.

If schooling on Saturday works for you, then do it. If your family likes to put a priority on math and history on the backburner, then do it. If your family functions better sleeping until 10am and staying up until midnight, then do it. Don't try to make your days, schedules, and curriculum like everyone else-- tailor it to suit the needs and goals of your family! Don't think less of yourself or stress the whole family out because you are not up at 4:30am starting the day off with a family devotion and a full breakfast of bacon, freshly laid eggs and homemade biscuits (although you can invite me over for breakfast if you're the type-- I'll bring the honey for the biscuits!).

There is nothing wrong with any of those things! But as we begin to look to the new school year, be it in September or December, keep your expectations real. Before purchasing that curriculum or writing out that schedule, pray over it and consider if it truly fits your family-- not your neighbor's, your friend's or your support group president's family-- but your very own. Think before you jump!

Marsha is proud to be the Mrs. to David for over 12 years. They have been homeschooling their three rowdy boys in the Lone Star State for the past 5 years. When she's feeling like a slacker, you can find her drinking coffee, reading a book and writing at her blog-- and sometimes all at the same time! You can find Marsha at Our Homeschool and Other Such Happenings.

July 2008 Edition

2008-07-07T21:40:00.008-04:00

Download pdf

Summer brings with it so many activities, trips, and memories but this year it also brings with it the First Annual Heart of the Matter Online Virtual Homeschool Conference coming up July 31 - August 3. We have many amazing speakers lined up as well as vendors to meet all your homeschooling needs...and wants! You can check out the new conference site for more information and to sign up for the event. The schedule for the speakers and frequently asked questions pages are up and we are adding vendors daily.

Something else that keeps growing.... the FREE stuff! In fact, the free stuff well exceeds the price of admission so you can’t go wrong!

Also, don’t forget to sign up for our new weekly newsletter, which is delivered each Sunday. Our newsletter will contain a recap of the week’s posts, who won what contests, highlights from that week’s meme, freebies, and more! To be included on the list please subscribe here:

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We also have some new writers joining our team:

Karin Taylor of Passport Academy has joined Heart of the Matter as our new Reviews Assistant. She is currently in the process of lining up reviews for some fabulous Homeschool Products to help you out when you are ready to purchase products for your homeschool.

Luke Holzmann of Sonlight and Homeschooling has joined the team as a new writer. He will be sharing his experiences as a former homeschooled student as well as writing about his upcoming adventures as a new homeschooling father.

Kendra Fletcher of Preschoolers and Peace will be writing about Classical Education. Kendra is a homeschooling mom of eight, all of whom have either been, currently are, or soon will be preschoolers.

Belinda Bullard of With A Taste of Chocolate is a homeschooling mom, curriculum author, and the owner of A Blessed Heritage- Educational resources to foster understanding of the spiritual and racial heritage of children of color.

We are excited to have each of them on board and look forward to what they have to share with us.

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In this month's issue:

Masterly Inactivity
Learning with Reckless Abandon
Ways to Save $10 a Week
Becoming Like Ruth
What Season Are You In?
Summer - The Learning Doesn't Stop
Dependence Days
Defending and Defeating Evolution
The Value of Human Interest Stories to Public Opinion
How To Tell WHY Your Child is Struggling (Part 3 of 4)
Resting in Him
Singing In Every Season
Why Homeschool? Part 2
God's All Sufficient Grace
Articles for Dads
So You Think You Can Home School?
Last Words
Old Fashioned Homeschooling
A Planning, Organizing, and Balancing trip

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Did you know that we have a Heart of the Matter daily blog, which is updated daily and packed full of inspiration, encouragement, phenomenal resources, and weekly giveaways?

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Important Upcoming Dates:
July 10 - Happy Birthday Heather H.
July 11 - Friday Meme: What HASN'T Worked for You?
July 18 - Friday Meme: Field Trips
July 19 - Happy Birthday Lisa V.
July 25 - Friday Meme: How Do You Meal Plan?
July 30 - August 3 - First annual virtual conference
July 31 - Happy Birthday Mandy
August 1 - Friday Meme: A Homeschooler's School Supplies List
August 8 - Happy Birthday Yvonne

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This month's printables
Courtesy Karin Taylor
4 Week Subject Planner
Lesson Planner Reminders
Library Book List
Blank Teaching Schedule
Weekly Organizer

Masterly Inactivity

2008-07-07T21:33:00.000-04:00

It’s hot outside, and summer is in full swing. For me, summer has always brought to mind vacations at the beach, lazy days at the lake, and a break from school. In other words, relaxation! One of the many reasons I love Charlotte Mason is her emphasis on the importance of leisure time. “Masterly inactivity,” as she called it, is meant to be time spent doing something to refresh mind, body, and soul. It is recreation at its finest: fun, unscheduled, unstructured time to enjoy life and appreciate the wonders of God. Go on a picnic, take time to read or draw, spend an afternoon at the pool, play hopscotch in the driveway, go fishing, or enjoy an evening bike ride together as a family. There are so many wonderful ways to incorporate a little masterly inactivity in your family’s daily lives . . . and summer is a wonderful time to develop this into a habit!

I often hear homeschoolers joke, “I don’t know why they call it home school, because we’re never home!” It is a blessing that there are so many great options for us homeschoolers these days: piano lessons, sports practice, co-op classes, tai kwon do, play dates, etc. The list goes on and on. All good endeavors, but we must be careful not to take on too many. Charlotte Mason cautions against over-scheduling because too much rushing around causes stress for the parents AND the children. When we learn something new, we need time to “digest” all that knowledge before we can actually apply it, so we should alternate our schoolwork and activities with recreation and rest. Children need “downtime” just like we do; they need time to process new thoughts and ideas. This is exactly why “masterly inactivity” is so important. We must prayerfully consider just how much we can schedule and do before we begin to compromise that valuable leisure time - but keep in mind that "too many" will look different for each and every family.

Charlotte Mason teaches that an essential aspect of masterly inactivity is “good humour––frank, cordial, natural, good humour.” Atmosphere is at least one-third of education, she said, and “the thought that any of our poor words and ways being a daily influence on a child should make the best of us want to hold our breath.” Amen, sister! She goes on to say that a child “breathes in unconscious ideas of right living emanating from his parents.” I don’t know about you, but that scares me a little! Like it or not, we inspire our children. The question is, what do we inspire in them? If we are harried and hurried, we are certainly not at our best. Our attitudes are contagious. When we argue, complain, or speak bitter words, our children learn from that:

“A nervous, anxious, worried mother can't have an easy, happy relationship with her child. She might be the best mother in the world in all other respects, but all her children will pick up from her when she's like that is a touch of her nerves, which is the most contagious of bad habits. She'll perceive her children as grouchy, rebellious, and unmanageable, but she won't realize that it's her own fault--not the fault of her actions, but the fault of her mood.”

Ouch! I know I’ve been guilty of this, aggravated about how grumpy my child is when my own bad attitude has actually been the cause of it!

On the bright side, when we have a good attitude, full of praise and gratitude, our children “catch” that, too. So Ms. Mason encourages mothers to go out and play! Every mother, and I think especially the homeschooling mother, absolutely MUST have time to herself. She needs time to revive and refresh her spirit. "Idle time to relax, and a sense of calm leisure in the adults around them is necessary” for children to thrive. That’s right, ladies, Charlotte Mason urges you to enjoy an occasional mom’s night or afternoon out! Heed her wise advice. Participate in some – dare we imagine it – uninterrupted adult conversation! Take some time to read a good book, simply for the sake of enjoyment, rather than for researching curriculum or homeschool methods. Dive into a new Bible study or devotional you love. Go for a stroll, visit an art gallery, or catch up on a few of your favorite blogs. Realistically, some days or weeks might not allow for a whole evening on your own, but a little creative simplification of your schedule should make at least enough time to stroll around the garden, or to enjoy one of my personal favorite activities, savoring a steaming hot cup of tea.

Take time to do whatever refreshes your soul and renews your mind. Listen to the still, small voice of God. Ms. Mason reassures us that “…faith is necessary to full repose of mind and manner. [God] works in ways which it must be our care not to hinder, in the training of every child.” If we are careful to listen, God does give us the wisdom we need to teach our children. And that's a promise I cling to every day!

Learning with Reckless Abandon

2008-07-07T17:45:00.001-04:00

Summer is a time when many homeschooling parents consider their educational options for the next school year. Some parents wonder whether they are capable of homeschooling higher grades. Other families wonder if they should put their children in classes outside the home. The good news is you can homeschool independently! Independent homeschooling can result in real and tangible benefits in the areas of academics, socialization, safety, and specialization.

"Challenging but not overwhelming" is a good description of the perfect job. The same is true for homeschooling, because the academics can always be challenging, but never need to be overwhelming. Homeschooling through high school is a wonderful way to prepare kids for a real world job. As homeschoolers, we can make courses challenging by teaching every subject at our student's level. We have the ability to use what works, or choose something different. And as homeschoolers, we can meet the specific learning style and interests of our child. By doing so, we can make sure our child will enjoy learning.

Socialization that reflects the real world, where kids interact with people of all ages and backgrounds on daily basis, is a significant benefit of homeschooling. After all, in the working world, not everyone on the job will be exactly the same age. My youngest son is eighteen, and he is currently director of our church choir. We joke that he lowers the average age of the choir to seventy! One choir member commented at how remarkable it was to see my son conversing easily with a senior citizen, and then turn around and talk just as easily with the teenage youth group members.

The safety and comfort of home is the best learning environment. There is no need to be fearful at school, because home is a safe and supportive environment. People have asked me, "What does homeschooling look like?" I usually reply that in our home it looked like my son lying beside our dog reading a book or talking to his grandfather about economics. In an environment that is free of fear, children have the security to learn with reckless abandon.

Specialization means kids can pursue their unique interests. Because homeschooling is a much more efficient way of educating, there is plenty of time for specialization, and the freedom to pursue a passion. Remember that in a homeschool, there is no waiting around, no standing in line, and no riding a school bus for hours. Homeschoolers really do have more education hours available in a day - enough time to specialize. Sometimes people ask me "How do you find the time to homeschool?" The truth is that we had MORE time than families in traditional schools. With our new free time, we were able to start piano lessons. When my kids were in public school, we simply couldn't squeeze it in. Regardless of your teaching style, you can have time for some interest-led learning. Allow kids to explore their passion - whether it's dinosaurs, baseball, or quantum mechanics.

Are you getting the most out of homeschooling? As you plan your next school year, consider the benefits of homeschooling independently. As you evaluate the many choices available to you, keep in mind the reasons why homeschooling works. Ask yourself questions about your child's academics, socialization, security, and specialization. If you take outside classes, will every subject be taught exactly at the child's level? Can you change the curriculum at a moments notice if it's not working? Does the curriculum match the student's learning style - and how would you know if it did? Is the class in a safe and supportive environment, free of teasing and bullying? Will it encourage healthy socialization, or mimic the socialization found in public schools? Does participation allow enough time for your student to really pursue a passion, or does it fill time with unnecessary busy work?

Make sure that YOU are in control, not someone else.

Keep a firm grip on those benefits!

Allow your children to learn with reckless abandon!

Lee Binz is a veteran homeschooling mom of two and the owner of The HomeScholar, "Helping parents homeschool through high school". You can sign up for her free email newsletter The HomeScholar Record and get your daily dose of wisdom via e-mail from The HomeScholar Blog.

So You Think You Can Home School?

2008-07-07T16:40:00.000-04:00

Published on Heart of the Matter Online, June 25

This is my reality show…. Welcome!

For two years, my husband has been saying that I need to homeschool. Now I feel it is important to note that he likes to blurt things out before he really thinks about them. I mean, he is a loud, little Italian man. I, on the other hand, will analyze from all angles and then by the time I make a move the idea is usually out of style.

My husband says that before we got married he told God that he wanted a wife who would stay home and take care of his family. I told him that if that was the case, then we have both been deceived because I told God I wanted to be successful and productive (yeah, you know where this is going). So anyway, I am going to homeschool and this is further proof that God does have a sense of humor! Can you tell that I just wasn't that into the homeschooling idea?

Really, all I know is corporate America. You know, the "he said, she said" grapevines of loveliness? If you have no clue what I am talking about, you are blessed! Corporate America is a reality show nightmare. You will not see that show being broadcast anywhere but live. Thankfully, at the end of July this year my show will be canceled and I can start a new one at home.

Needless to say, the tables have turned and I have been nudged by a higher power (read: God) into homeschooling and my husband is now freaking out. Home Depot, Lowe’s, Harbor Freight, Wal-Mart, pounds of M&M’s, McDonald’s, 4-wheelers and many other amenities will soon be just a distant memory with our decrease in income. (Can you see me smirking?) This is going to be fun!

Here are the top 10 things new homeschoolers (or me anyway) want to know from you. I am going to ask because I would like to know and because no one else will dare to ask you. I have searched the internet but cannot find real, logical answers from real, seasoned homeschooling parents. So here it is:

10. So, I have purchased the whole curriculum that some experienced homeschooler has recommended. It looks awesome in my new homeschooling cabinet tucked away all neat and pretty..... Now what?

9. I like to have things planned out, but I have never been home for lunch. I think the kids will want to eat during the day. What do I do? GIVE ME YOUR WEEKLY MENUS. I WANT BREAKFAST, LUNCH AND DINNER! ASAP!

8. Construction paper is evil! Are there any acid-free, cost-efficient alternatives? Is colored paper necessary for preschool and 1st grade?

7. Thank God for glue sticks! Does liquid glue have any educational value that my kids will miss out on if I banish it? All they want to do is make a mess then eat it. Liquid glue has no nutritional value, does it?

6. What do I do when my husband is red with jealousy? (“You spend all day with them,” “When I call, you need to answer,” “Where is my tissue paper butterfly?”) Remember: I am married to a loud, little Italian man.

5. How do I wear out the princess before she can wear me out?

4. Will wearing uniforms help create structure or routine? We already have them and it seems logical. By the way, how do you get dry erase marker out of uniforms? Yeah, too late, I already washed it!

3. How do you get dad involved without it seeming like a chore? (Never mind, I can sit him down and let him make his own tissue paper butterfly!)

2. What do you do when the super hero turns evil on the fairy princess? They don’t cover this in our Bible curriculum.

1. I think I have lost my mind, have you seen it? Please tell me it isn't June already!

Andrea is a laid back gal from the south who has been married to a loud, little Italian man named Darin for 7 years. They have two kids: one thinks he is a professional wrestler and the other thinks she is a professional princess (yes, she wants to be paid to be bossy and prissy). She has recently given up the corporate world to step into a land of kisses and learning. You can visit her at her blog: The Honest Woman. Help!

Last Words

2008-07-07T16:36:00.002-04:00

Published on Heart of the Matter Online, June 23

As I write this post, there is a 93 year old gentleman lying in a hospital bed in a coma, moments away from death. Some would say "Well, he's had a full life." And to that I say, "Yes, he has." Others might say, "Well, he is old... you knew it was coming." Of course everyone dies one day, but that still makes this day sad. Sad because he is my dear, sweet mother-in-law's daddy--whom she really does still call daddy!

This kind, Christian gentleman with a twinkle in his bright blue eyes has always been known to me as Mr. Boulware. While in his 80s, he could hike circles around me (and that's with me really trying)! Mr. Boulware was involved with Carpenters for Christ, volunteered at the Food Bank, and even served Meals on Wheels-- often to those younger than him! It was only very recently that he began to slow down. I could go on forever about his great example, joyful countenance, wit and wisdom, but what I want to tell you about are his last words.

He was admitted to the hospital on Father's Day for pneumonia. This past Wednesday as my mother-in-law was leaving for the evening, she reached down and gave her daddy a kiss and told him that she loved him. Ever the loving and cheerful father (friend, neighbor, gentleman in the truest sense of the word), he stoically said "I love you." (I'm sure he said it with a grin... he always had a smile on his face.)

Then he went to sleep. And he has been asleep ever since.

I love you. Most likely the last words he will ever utter on this earth. I love you. Three sweet and simple words that encompass so much feeling. I love you. Words that are sometimes taken for granted.

Have you ever thought about what your last words might be? Frankly, this thought scares and humbles me.

We homeschool year round and earlier this week, we started back with our lessons after having taken two whole weeks off. Let's just say that Monday was a rocky kind of a day. Not as in triumphant over adversity Rocky with a capital "R," but as in I can't believe we are still "doing school" when it is almost supper time! The kids were dawdling, whining (oh wait, that was me whining!), not paying attention, and just plain being difficult. Last words? My oh my, on this particular day it would've been something ugly and at a very loud volume!

Tuesday, however, was much, much better! The kids were diligent, cheerful, obedient, and even worked ahead in their assignments because they wanted to. Last words on this day? Great job! I love you! I'm so proud of y'all!

Do you see the problem here? Why is it that we can be so sweet with our words when things are going our way, but when there are problems? Whoa! You better run far away from mommy!

Pleasant words are as an honeycomb, sweet to the soul, and health to the bones. ~Proverbs 16:24

I should have that verse posted all over my walls to help me remember! Not just sweet to the ears, but sweet to the soul. That means it goes very deep!

As you go through each day, you will have good days as well as those horrible, let me climb back into bed and wake me when it's over! days. It is especially on those most trying days that you must try to remember what your last words might be. Could you bite your tongue and just not say those words? In that voice? With that look on your face? Maybe you can be like me when I'm actually being semi-mature and just give yourself a time out! Choose not to scowl. Choose not to yell. Choose not to end a conversation with a hurtful word and walk away (even if there is a teeny bit of truth to those words). It's not just what we say, but how we say it!

We can't live in fear but we have to be honest and accept that we really do not know how long we have on this earth.

Whereas ye know not what shall be on the morrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapour, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away. ~James 4:14

When that appointed time comes, will your last words be remembered fondly by your friends, your husband, your children? Or will your last words be looked upon with remorse, guilt, and sorrow?

I challenge you to start NOW. With your very next conversation. With your very next comment. Make your words sweet like honey! Make it healthy to your family's bones and good for their souls! You never know when they just might be your last.

In loving memory of Mr. John Boulware
February 4, 1915- June 22, 2008

Marsha is proud to be the Mrs. to David for over 12 years. They have been homeschooling their three rowdy boys in the Lone Star State for the past 5 years. When she's feeling like a slacker, you can find her drinking coffee, reading a book and writing at her blog-- and sometimes all at the same time! You can find Marsha at Our Homeschool and Other Such Happenings.