Jim Yanz' Bierstube Blog

July Blog

2008-07-10T21:31:00.000-07:00

"According to Jim" (Jim's rants & raves)

News, Notes, Facts & Opinions from the owner Jim Yanz (if you care).

Part 7: July 2008

Saints Fun Bus!: Come join us for our Annual German Heritage night at the Saints game, Monday, August 4^th. $30 includes fun transportation (bathroom on bus), beer & pop on bus, tailgating under a huge outdoor tent with more free beer & brats, reserved seating & a chance to see the one & only "Utube Bierstube Guy star" Mike Yanz throw out the 1^st pitch for the Saints & then attempt to go 9 innings before getting thrown out himself by security

Strong Opinion: I've thought the NBA was fixed ever since the mid 80's when it installed the inexplicable (behind closed doors) ping pong ball lottery. Guess who had the worst chance to get the pick that year with under a 3% chance. One hint; the #1 ranked market "New York" Knicks of course. And who did they take with that pick? The supposed greatest center to come out of college in many, many years, the player who was supposed to bring the Knicks back to their prominence & win multiple championships (never won a single one) Georgetown's 7 foot Patrick Ewing. Now this year the #2 market Chicago with a 1.5% chance wins the #1 pick (still done before & behind closed doors). Why do the supposed powers that be stand by & keep letting this happen? This along with the officiating scandal, the ESPN Era of needing to make the top 10 highlights instead of the Larry Bird, Magic Johnson, John Stockton & Steve Nash unselfish proper way of playing, the rap music before, during & after the games, the punk attitude of 95% of all the players, high fives after every free throw (made or missed) the unbalanced officiating for the star players & the home teams, allowing not just 2 steps but 2 ½, 3 & most of the time (Ginoble, Kobe, etc. 3.5 steps when the rule is clearly a foot & a half. "AND MOST OF ALL" because as you can tell I could go on forever the DISGUSTING, FOUL, DISGRACEFUL, DISPICIBLE, COMPLETELY LOUD PROFANITY that is aloud by every & any players ALL THE TIME! When I was 13 to 23 to 33 & now 43 years old I've always found it to be disgusting, shameful & classless behavior. My Dad instilled that in us as kids. My Dad Larry not only ever swore, but as a bar owner, also did not tolerate ANY excessive bad language within his restaurant. The tradition continues nearly 25 years after his passing (neither do any of the Bierstubes now or never will!). The #1 offender, the disgusting Kevin Garnett! David Stern; this is a great way to teach our kids proper etiquette, self control & sportsmanship. How about concentrating less on the soon to be flopping rule & more on the completely more obvious problem & install a new rule of no more "f"inghimers & childish outbursts in your supposed Pro Basketball league. Right now, the pro in Pro Basketball stands for Profanity Basketball. Clean up this league now & have a no tolerance rule like your equally silly leaving the bench rule that ruined last years entire playoffs! (Hint Amar Stodimiar) Better yet, move on David Stern & see if Roger Goodell would like to moonlight a few hours for the NBA!

Shave My Head Update: Yes, I am a man of my word & will be shaving my head Friday night, July 11^th at approximately 8 p.m. in the Larry's Lounge Smoking Patio in Oakdale. I DON'T look forward to seeing you there!

Congratulations: KG on your 1^st & hopefully only NBA Championship. There's no denying there probably has never been anyone who has given more effort or intensity on the basketball court & deserves immense credit for a league that doesn't come near that type of effort until maybe the final minute of the 4^th quarter. Speaking of the 4^th quarter and KG; There is also very little doubt that there's probably never been a so called superstar like Kevin Garnett who has been so afraid & so bad at stepping up during crunch time as him. So congratulations KG, you hustling, choking, spineless, profanity punk! (Jodi, where'd you put my razor?) All other jobs in America have to be held with a certain decorum, self control & common courtesy, so what's so different about sports? Especially basketball P.S. By the way Kevin, act like you've been there before instead of majorly embarrassing yourself.

IMPORTANT REMINDER: The Leonard Schaffer Memorial (LW's Bierstube) Golf Tournament is coming fast, Monday, July 21^st 12:45 shotgun start scramble at River Oaks. 100% of ALL of the proceeds will go towards medical bills for Hannah O'Halloran. Hannah is Leonard's Great Granddaughter & LW's manager Cindy's Granddaughter. She is 18 months old & was born premature & has already accumulated unbelievable excessive medical bills. If you are unable to participate in this very worthy & necessary fundraiser for her but would like to help, please contact Cindy (651/428-1361). Your participation &/or help is UNBELIEVABLY APPRECIATED!

Overheard: "The Church is not a museum for Saints, but a hospital for Sinners."

Who Said It? "No man stands s tall than when he stoops to help a child." Abraham Lincoln

Speaking of Children: Wayne Deilke (a very good Bierstube customer) took his daughter Cassie to her 1^st Twins game 19 years ago when she was 5. They got there a little early & Cassie was already getting bored. It seemed like Cassie's only saving grace would be to catch a foul ball from Kirby Puckett, so Cassie hoped & hoped. In the mean time Dad Wayne continually trying to entertain his daughter but warning not to get too disappointed if one doesn't come her way tries to explain the odds to his daughter being very unlikely but let's have a good time & you never know. Almost needless to say, a Kirby Puckett foul ball comes their way; Wayne drops it & Cassies had nightmares ever since! Just kidding! Wayne catches it & immediately hands it to his daughter to a standing ovation from the nearby crowd. Cassie, now 24, still displays that ball proudly (hopefully more because of Dad than Kirby) & also is an accomplished ice skater, skating with Disney on Ice the past several years! Way to go Deilkes!!!

Who Said It #2? "We make a living by what we get; we make a life by what we give." Winston Churchill

Set Your DVR or Tivo: JW's Bierstube in Oakdale bartender Jimmy will be on a Wheel of Fortune replay Monday, July 7^th. Asked how he did he said, "I'm still schlepping drinks for you ain't I? You'll just have to tune in & see." (Game Show network at 9:30 a.m.)

Misc. Sports: Twins remain contenders hovering about 1 ½ back. 1^st time their starting pitchers have won six in a row since 2006 when it was Santana, Radke, Liriano & Baker. The current Twins streaks ERA in the last 9 games has been a remarkable 1.76, winning 8 of 9. Vikings definitely on the right track. T-Wolves better take a chance on Mayo (could be a blessing in disguise getting rather unlucky with the 3^rd overall pick); Gophers have to show me something positive fairly early before I start caring again; Wild or Gopher Hockey ask my friends John Klimek, Rob "Tally Wacker" Talofous, or Scott Berg (they know a little bit more about hockey than I do). Rob is Dean Talofous's (9 year NHL veteran) younger brother. None the less, Rob is over 10 times the athlete his older brother Dean was. Rob made honorable mention in synchronized swimming his senior year.

Rocco Rocco Rocco!!! What can we say about this year's US Open besides WOW! That tourney goes down as one of the top 5 Golf tournaments & top 50 sporting events of "all time!" I used to be against the 18 hole playoff, but for just he US Open what the heck. We all seen (or hopefully a lot of you ) That was & maybe (unless there's another affable smiley easy going fun 45 year old guy who's never won a major challenging Tiger) the last time I'll ever root for anyone else but him. It's fun watching history unfold before your very eyes. With Tiger's bad knee & Rocco just being Rocco, to me & I'm sure the audience & the sponsors there definately was no loser. What a story for Rocco to tell his Grandchildren! He gave Tiger, in Tiger's own words, "his greatest win, tournament & challenge than any he's ever played."

Enjoy: the Masters of Golf, Superbowl of Football & the World Series of Baseball. Enjoy the Wimbeldon Championships (both men & ladies) this Holiday weekend & more importantly have a safe & fun holiday & a blessed & hopefully warm & sunny July!

God Bless: Shannon Robinson (my sister-in-law) & her family. Shannon had surgery to remove a brain tumor & everything went great! Tumor was malignant & she's going to be fine. She's getting back to her normal, happy self. Thanks for all your prayers!

God Bless: Bonnie Sylvester & her entire family. Bonnie was simply the sweetest, nicest, classiest person I've ever met.

July Blog

2008-07-09T20:43:00.000-07:00

June's Blog

2008-06-01T07:43:00.000-07:00

Bierstube Blog

"According to Jim" (Jim's rants & raves)

News, Notes, Facts & Opinions from the owner Jim Yanz (if you care).

Part 6: June 2008

Big Reminder: JW's in Oakdale is having our annual Oakdale Summerfest Tent Party! Featuring on Friday, June 13^th the always great & very popular, our local phenoms "Uncle Chunk!" Followed by the up & coming awesome "Good for Gary!" on Saturday the 14^th.

Reminder: Great Biestube golf tourneys coming up JJ's WBL at Loggers Trail June 9^th & LW's Leonard Shaffer Memorial at River Oaks, July 21^st. More info in next month's blog.

Reminder: Look for the next new Bierstube commercial to debut sometime this fall/early winter with an interesting semi controversial new twist.

Thank You: Thanks & congrats to all the participants & winners of the Oakdale & Hastings Golf Tournaments! A special thanks to Rob Achterling & Jeff Betterly for their very Ed McMahon/Paul Shaffer like support & laughing at my LAME attempts at humor. Another special thanks to the Stabinow Team! Their streak of 3 years in a row & not missing one single Bierstube golf tournament is still going very strong! That's over 15 tourneys! We really appreciate you guys along with your playing partner Clint Piehl (my wife & Wendy thank you too)!

Way To Go: Plucky Twins; despite virtually no power whatsoever YET, continue to hover around 500 & a couple of games within 1^st. Overall future outlook Rosy!

You Heard it Here First: The Vikings or the Twins are a shoe in to win a World Championship in the next 5 years. In my humble opinion, it's all about Tavaris Jackson &/or how our QB position develops & the Twins' Pohlad Boys learn from (stadiumless) Zigi Wilf & open up some purse strings & add at least one legitimate impact/power player. My guess is Vikings 1^st in the next few years & the Twins in the next 4-6 years.

Jodi Sharpen Your Razor: As I predicted the Lakers are on the verge of eliminating the whining Spurs & the 3 ½ steps (no traveling calls) Manu Gionobli. Fortunately for my hairdo the Celtics & the "profanity pro" Garnett seem very tired & vulnerable finally losing one at home against Detroit. Go Flip & Pistons!

Prediction: Detroit vs. LA in the NBA Championship! Hopefully Flip prevails & gets his monkey off is back & adultering Kobe loses, thus myself avoiding an appointment (by a hair) with my Buzz cutting, razor awaiting wife Jodi.

NHL: Can someone tell me if they're still playing? Sorry hockey fans: Peter, Deano, TallyWacker, Johnny, Benny, Bergy & the rest.

PGA: Let me know when Tiger's knee heals. Senior golf Greg Norman "The Shark" is still fun to watch. Just ask his fiancé former tennis great Chris Everett.

Gopher Football: How do you spell a really big yawn? Reason to be optimistic - they can't do any worse than last year & the new OUTDOOR Stadium is right around the corner. Twins too! Can't wait!

NFL, Vikings, We're Comin!: As I reported a couple of blogs ago, if the Vikings were to acquire a dominating pass rusher & draft effectively, which they definitely did with the NFL's best (15 sacks last year) Jared Allen & some very potentially solid draft choices, our new Purple People Eaters will not only win our division easily overtaking the sorry Favreless Cheeseheads, but also have a chance at the ever elusive Vikings Superbowl WIN & allow us diehard Viking Fans the chance to get that monkey off our backs. Go Tavaris!!! It might or probably won't happen this year, but with Adrian Peterson & a very good core of other key players (like our Twins) the future looks promising!

Larry Yanz 25 Year Anniversary of his Passing: The Celebration of his life on September 21^st is being modified to satisfy & respect the sensitivities to hopefully all who remember & loved him very much.

Opinion: David Stern & the NBA has to be more "Roger Goodell & NFL like" & enforce ZERO tolerance for demonstrative whining reactions after a personal foul, ie. Rasheed Wallace, Tim Duncan, Tony Parker, Manu Gionobli (what the heck, the whole darn Spurs team). It's, #1 a really bad example for kids & #2 it's simply a despicable immature act that makes a PUNK league even PUNKIER!

Fact: I'm looking forward to giving Brad Childress another chance, especially considering his "personal conduct accountability policy" (& giving up the play calling). He really is weeding out the bad character type people & infusing the team more with high character guys such as Adrian Peterson & 2^nd round safety & also great talent & really classy person Tyrell Johnson from Arkansas State.

Opinion: Wolves - OJ Mayo would have been the #1 draft choice overall last year. If Beasley or Rose inexplicably fall, take one of them or the obvious choice is to roll the dice a tad on OJ's potential "character issues" & take him.

Fact: "Amen" means you believe it a certainty to be the truth. "Alleluia" means a song of praise to God.

Fact: John McCain has never been baptized.

Note: The House Judiciary Committee showed NFL players are 8 times more likely to get injured than players in others sports leagues.

Interesting Coincidence: 11 year old Grace Gudell advised Abe Lincoln to grow a beard (because he basically, in her opinion, was too ugly as is). He was previously a perennial loser on the national level until 1860, when he reluctantly agreed & of course grew his beard he is & always will be so famous for.

Fact: Adolf Hitler's Dad married (for the 3^rd time a different woman) "his niece!" Thus making Hitler's biological mom his biological father's niece.

Fact: In 1918 Babe Ruth hit a league high for the year (playing only part of the season), 11 homeruns for the Boston Red Sox. The next year 1919 he raised his homerun total to league & record high 29. A 263.6% increase. The next year after being sold to the Yankees for a $100,000 he raised it to a whopping league & record high 54 - a 490.91% increase from 11 in 1918. & last but not least, the following year he raised yet another league & obviously record 59! Making that a 536.36% increase from the league high 11 in 1918.

Barely Partial Truth & Admission: I hope you find this Blog somewhat informative & maybe even somewhat entertaining &/or funny. If you strongly disagree with some of the opinions expressed, remember my wife Jodi types this & she is opinionated enough that it's very likely that she may have completely changed my correct opinion. If you're not napping already, thanks for your time & your welcome for your current or upcoming nap! Take care & God Bless!

May Blog

2008-05-19T16:06:00.000-07:00

Bierstube Blog May 2008

"According to Jim" (Jim's rants & raves)

News, Notes, Facts & Opinions from the owner Jim Yanz (if you care).

"Happy Mother's Day!" Special: ½ price on our AWARD WINNING marinated beef roast (our sauerbraten!)! No need for a knife on this mouthwatering entrée, melts in your mouth just like Grandma & Mom used to make! Made with special seasonings in traditional Bavarian style with homemade spatzle, gravy, red cabbage & toast. Also, ½ price for you deserving Mothers our famous "Heart Steak" dinner & our 8 oz juicy chicken breast with choice of seasoned rice, asparagus or ½ & ½. Bon Appetite & Happy Mother's Day! Plus a "FREE!" Mimosa for Mom!!!

Reminder: There are still a few spots available for JW's Bierstube Spring Classic Golf Tourney at the OUTSTANDING Stone Ridge Golf Course, Monday, May 12^th, 12:30 shotgun. 8 days later, Tuesday, May 20^th, 12:30 shotgun at the equally GREAT Hastings Country Club!!!

Admissions of Oversights from Previous Blog: Should've been included amongst the Greatest of all time in their respective sports; Ty Cobb, Earl Cambell, Gordy Howe, Mario Lemioux, Bobby Orr, GREATEST SPORTS CANNIBAL Mike Tyson & Bombo Rivera (for approx 3 weeks). If it's still available for you boxing fans, check out the VHS or DVD "Champions Forever," it's like Ali, the Greatest of all time!

Opinion: Matt Birk, get off your so called "I don't like the lime light" fat a-- & be the supposed leader that you are & get into camp. I guess the Vikings haven't been loyal enough to your 7^th ROUND 32 year old herniated butt by paying you roughly $40 million over the last 9 years. ANYONE tell me how it doesn't make sense to see how Birk does this year & his final year of his LUCRITIVE contract that he signed before they extend it. Keys, several sports hernias & 32 years old. Not to beat a dead horse, but why play the "I'm just a regular guy" facade & then show up on every radio & TV show with the kicker opening not one, but 2 restaurants named , you'll never guess, "Matty B's," huh?

Fact: The world consumes over 1,000 barrels of oil per second! Alaska has enough to last us at least the next 35 years.

Fact: Like an apple a day keeps the Doctor away, the potassium in bananas help prevent strokes.

Opinion: You want proof of steroids? Google Lenny Dykstra: went from skinny 175 pd 5 homerun 2^nd baseman to 220 lb HULK averaging 35 homeruns & Jose Canseco (albeit an adultering jerk) has been by far the most credible athlete to discuss &/or write about steroids in sports!

Opinion: Speaking of baseball, if I were the owner of the Chicago Cubs I DEFINITELY would take the high road & show some class & offer the infamous fan Steve Bartman a lifelong pass to all Cubs home games just to make up for the turmoil this poor nerd has unnecessarily endured the past 5 years. 1^st of all there were many other fans surrounding him trying to do the same thing he or most any of us (instinctively) would try to catch the foul ball & 2^nd, their left fielder at the time Moises Alou showed some sincere class & empathy for the poor guy, stating he feels sorry for what he's had to go through & admitted he probably wasn't going to be able to catch the ball anyways. Cub's fans: It's not Steve Bartman's fault you guys choked it away.

Fact: Speaking of baseball, I took my boys Max & Sam to the Twins vs. KC game & not only called Justin Morneau's 1^st homerun of the year, but also "The Pitch" & location where the ball was going to land. Honestly I was just trying to get them to pay attention for a pitch or 2 (instead of the cotton candy) & just got lucky.

Celebrity Death: Charlton Heston, age 84. Wasn't just an actor & NRA spokesman, but more importantly actively spoke against violent, distasteful, disgusting & profanity filled lyrics & messages in music, ie. Violence against everyone, mostly women & cops. He once protested in a forum that included the producers of Ice Tea's "Cop Killer" & after his speech, nearly everyone in the room including those same producers of Ice Tea & many other rap producers were dead silent with most of them hanging their heads in shame. As Heston walked out of the room you could hear a pin drop. Favorite Charlton Heston Movie: 10 Commandments as, of course, Moses. A little cheesy & over the top, but none the less a very entertaining, educational movie I try to watch nearly every Easter Sunday (Shawn Donavan). Unbelievable special effects, especially for its time.

Opinion: Country music has improved rapidly of late; some great post 9/11 songs, songs that you can understand the words, songs with meaning & songs with a story & most importantly a lot less twangy , depressing & hillbilly.

Opinion: Best & most ENTERTAINING, informative & funny sport talk show: Pardon the Interruption (PTI on ESPN at 4:30 p.m.) starring Tony Kornheiser & Michael Wilbon. To describe it as a typical sports talk show definitely does not do it justice. It's mostly funny, very informative & has a little entertainment tonight, national enquirer, but unlike the Enquirer, it has accurate juiciness to it. Did I say it's a riot as well?

Opinion: It doesn't get much better for us sports fans. What a week! The Final 4, the classic championship game-the Wild clinching their very 1^st NW Division title in style, NHL Playoffs, opening of baseball season, the Frozen 4 & to top it off, the best tourney this side of the NCAA B-Ball tourney, THE MASTERS! I haven't been this excited since my honeymoon nearly 8 years ago!

Reluctant Admission: While playing cornerback for the 10^th grade Hastings Raiders (I actually was the QB, but occasionally played defense) "I once ducked a tackle" on the goal line against Sibley at Sibley High. It was a down pour & Sibley had this raging bull of a QB doing a play action end around leaving me on the loneliest island I've ever been on. Well with this big ox blowing steam out of both nostrils, (mixed with a lot of snot) knees pumping high, here comes this 6 foot 4, 230 lb freight train with the speed of a wildebeest & the look in his eyes that said "this is my chance to actually publicly dismember the opposing QB of the undefeated Raiders & score the go ahead touchdown." Well I never gave Tom Syberspace or Syberlicmee (whatever the hell his name was) that satisfaction. I pretended to slip in the mud & made a very conscious decision to save my life at that split second. Seems like forever ago & like it was just yesterday. The outcome of our season was 1^st place breaking nearly every offensive & defensive record. Our record that year: 8 wins, 1 loss. The score that game: Henry Sibley 6 Hastings Raiders 0. Jim Yanz 1 cowardly but smart defensive play (I now have a beautiful wife & 3 wonderful kids!). Tom Seiberlick (now a good friend of mine) 1very dirty play (he still unnecessarily kneed me in the head). & now you know "the rest of the story." (Tom, don't forget you said you'd pay me that c-note by the end of the month.) Tom Kranz, sound familiar? Thank you "great coach & person" Jake Moore & fellow teammates for great memories!

Admission #2 & Opinion: Admitted passive (at best regular season hockey fan) However, Hometown Old North Stars or our new Wild "PLAYOFF HOCKEY" is simply incredible because of the extraordinary efforts & all around riveting drama. You're not a pure sports fan if you can't feel "IT!" The intensity in the 3^rd period of a close game or overtime is as great or greater as any other sport!

Admission #3: Out of the parts of well over 100 or so hockey games I've seen &/or been to I've actually only seen LESS than 10% of the pucks go into the net even when concentrating & focusing as hard as I possibly can. Thank God for the announcers screaming "HE SCORES!!!" & instant replay! Maybe that's why I played basketball!

Recommended Book: The Last Lecture (A Love Story for Life), by Professor Randy Paush, who has been diagnosed with terminal pancreatic cancer (which my Dad & Bierstube founder died of). Randy is a Professor turned writer turned motivational speaker said, "A bad apology is worse than no apology." I agree!

Opinion: 3^rd Greatest Sports Moment of All Time: Jack Nicklaus at age 46, winning his 6^th Green Jacket in 1986 with a 65 on the final round. I was literally sitting Indian style 3 feet in front of the TV at my Mom's condo, cheering like it was the Vikings actually winning a Super bowl.

Congratulations: John Kreyer Jr. bowled a 300 game April 9^th in our Maplewood League. (I was lucky enough to catch the last several frames to witness my 1^st 300! That was fun!) When asked "Was this your 1^st?" He responded, "You really want to know?" I said of course. He embarrassingly admitted "42!" He has bowled in several pro tourneys, including the US Open, the Masters & the USBC & holds several local bowling records as well.

News, Notes, Facts & (a few) Opinions from the owner Jim Yanz (if you care).

2008-03-31T08:59:00.000-07:00

"Congratulations Bierstube!" Tuesday, March 3rd, the Bierstube took the
"Peoples Choice Award" (voted on by the participating samplers) for Best
Restaurant & Best Food out of about 30 other excellent restaurants. We
received a beautiful plaque & are hanging it proudly for everyone to see.
Great job Rob, Theron & Cindy & all who helped!
Reminder: The Bierstube's 1st golf tourney kicks off with JW's in Oakdale
majorly upgrading their tourney to the outstanding Stone Ridge, May 12th,
12:30 shot gun. Sign up now, spots are filling fast! One week later on
Tuesday, May 20th, 12:30 shot gun at the GREAT Hastings Country Club!!!
OPINIONS: "The Greatest of ALL TIME!!!" (Warning: There may be an obvious
admission or two, I'm just a bar owner & obviously not a writer, so
excuuuuuuuuuuuuse me!)
Heavy Weight Boxing: 1)Muhamid Ali, 2)Joe Louis, 3)Rocky Marciano, 4)George
Foreman, 5)Joe Fraizer.
QBs: 1)Joe Montana, 2)Johnny Unitas, 3)John Elway, 4)Tom Brady, 5)Tie: Sammy
Baugh & Otto Graham, Terry Bradshaw. Honorable Mention: Dan Marino, Brett
Favre (Sianara-so he says!), Troy Aikman, Peyton Manning, FRAN TARKENTON,
Roger Stauback, Steve Young & Bart Starr.
Defensive Players: 1)Lawrence Taylor, 2)Reggie White, 3)ALLEN PAGE(1st &
maybe still the only defensive player to win the NFL's MVP), 4)Ronnie Lott,
5)Dick Butkis, 6)Brian Urlacher, Honorable Mention: PAUL KRAUSE (still &
probably always will hold record for most interceptions), Mike Singletary,
Ray Nischke, Ray Lewis, Julius Peppers, many of the 85 Bears & 70's
Steelers.
Best Sport: FOOTBALL!!! Best All Around Football Player of all time: Joe
Montana
Best Team &/or Season: 85 Bears! How good & arrogant & confident do you have
to be to do the Superbowl Shuffle before the season really begins & then win
in such OVERWHELMING DOMINATING fashion!
Best Baseball Player: Babe Ruth! Period! Best Hockey Player: Wayne Gretzky!
Period!
Best Pitchers: 1)Sandy Kofax, 2)Bob Gibson, 3)Tom Seaver, 4)Cy Young,
5)Nolan Ryan, Honorable Mention: Orel Hershiser, Babe Ruth, Vida Blue,
Catfish Hunter, Johan Santana.
Biggest Jokes: 1)Barry Bonds, 2)Tie: Roger Clemens & Mark McGuire,
Best Pure Hitters: 1)Babe Ruth, 2)Ted Williams, 3)Ty Cobb, 4)Tie: Joe
Dimagio & Mickey Mantle, 5)Hank Aaron, 6)Alex Rodriquez, 7)Tie: Ken Griffey
Jr. & Willie Mays, 8)Tie: Lou Gerhig & George Brett, 9)Honus Wagner, 10)Tie:
Stan Musial, ROD CAREW, Tony Gwyn & Pete Rose. Honorable Mention: Mr. Clutch
Reggie Jackson, KIRBIE PUCKET, Wade Boggs & Don Mattingly.
Best Swimsuit Covergirl: Christie Brinkley.
Best Cover: Christie Brinkley, 1980, British Virgin Islands (of course I'm a
little biased, I was 15 at the time!)
Best Receiver of All Time: Jerry Rice! Period!
Best Basketball Player of all time: (Probably hardest to choose from)
1)Michael Jordan, 2)Bill Russell, 3)Tie: Kareem Abdul Jabbar & Wilt
Chamberlain, 4)Tie: Larry Bird & Magic Johnson - Best All Around Complete
Fundamental Passing & Scoring Tandem, along with absolutely saving the
sinking NBA in the 80's (the way you should & the way you'd want your kids
to play; absolutely unselfish), 5)Oscar Robinson, 6)Tim Duncan, 7)Elgin
Baylor, 8)Tie: Moses Malone & Shaq *Only because the NBA inexplicably
allowed him to take one huge drop step into the stationary defenders with
his left elbow held high elbowing either or both the defenders chest &/or
face only to have the foul called on the defender (Most of those should've
been flagrant personal offensive charging fouls on Shaq!), 9)Steve Nash
(Ditto like Bird & Johnson), 10)GEORGE MIKAN, 11)Isaiah Thomas, 12)Elvin
Hayes, 13)Bill Walton (remember I'm considering eras & in their prime),
14)Dr. J., 15) Lebron James 16)Kobe Bryant, Honorable Mention: Bob Cousey,
John Havlicheck, Bernard King, George Gervin, Pete Maravich, etc...
Best Running Backs: 1)Jim Brown, 2)Barry Sanders, 3)Walter Payton, 4)ADRIAN
PETERSON (I'm a Homer!).
"BEST MURDERER: OJ
SIMPSON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Biggest Sports Injustice: 1)OJ not guilty, 2)Pete Rose (not in hall of
fame), Inside story, ask me! 3)BERT BLYLEVIN not in hall of fame, 4)1972 USA
vs Russia at the Soviet Union during the Gold Medal Game (hint: Russian
refs!)
Best Golfer: 1)Tiger Woods, 2)Jack Nicklaus, 3)Tie: Arnie Palmer & Byron
Nelson (won 11 tourneys in a row in 1945), 4)Sam Snead, 5)Ben Hogan.
Best Male Tennis Player: 1)Rod Laver, 2)Bjorn Borg, 3)Tie: Pete Sampras &
Roger Federererererererererer, 4)John McEnroe, 5) Jimmy Conners, Honorable
Mention: Ivan Lendle, Andre Agassi.
Best Female Tennis Player: 1)Steffi Graph, 2)Martina Navratilova, 3)Yes!
Monica Seles-nobody was dominating at her age & she introduced power to
women's tennis before she got stabbed by jealous German maniac Gunter Parks
who wanted Graph to be #1 in the world instead of the unbeatable, dominating
Seles who had a chance to be #1 of ALL TIME!!! 4)Chris Everet, 5)Tie: Serena
Williams & Billie Jean King, Honorable Mention: Far too many!!!
Best & Most Dominating of Their Sport by a large margin: Babe Ruth! (Still
holds several pitching records as well)
Best Sport Moment of all time: USA! USA! USA! 1980 Olympic Gold Medal
winning Hockey Team!!
Best High School Baseball Coach & Bull Sh---er Ever By Far: Doc Loudin &
Juice Johnson.
Best High School Soccer & Golf Coach & Worst Pro Hockey Scout By Far: Don
Saatzer
Greatest Comedian of all Time: Don Rickles! Still unbelievable & on top of
his game at 82! I've had the great luck to see him a few times & if you like
him on the talk shows, don't regret it & not see him live if you have a
chance.
Heartfelt Thank You!: To ALL of the original Hastings Bierstubians who've
come & gone. We just had the great fortune of celebrating our 45th
anniversary this past December 15th. My father died 25 years ago this
September 21st & we promise you all a very special celebration of his life
on that anniversary weekend. I'm not going to try to name names because it's
impossible to not leave anybody out. I've known so many of you for so long &
there's so many great people & friends who patronize the Bierstube that I'm
not going to even come close to offending ANYONE by mentioning any names,
there are far too many to mention! I just want you ALL to know; (past &
present workers included) & I know & can speak for my entire family that we
have & ALWAYS will have a special place in our hearts for all of you! Both
present, past & recently past no longer with us having a beverage or a brat
putting up with my Dad's cigar smoke in heaven. The Yanz family thanks &
appreciates you all more than you will ever know!
Opinion: A LOT of violence, special effects & no real endings & you're sure
to win an Oscar!
Fact: As of this month, John Wooden still is not dead. (Greatest college
basketball coach ever.)
Fact: There comes a good to great movie once every so often; Shindler's
List, Titanic, Crash, etc. but movies today AIN'T WHAT THEY USED TO BE!
#1 Thing I Love: Old fashioned common courtesy in men not only opening but
running to open a door for a women (or anyone else for that matter).
#1 Thing That I Hate: Snobiness & people who act like they are more
important or better than another person & don't know the meaning of common
courtesy. People who UNDERSTAND common courtesy understand that a dishwasher
or cleaning person deserve the exact same common courtesy as a Dr. Surgeon
or Professional Athlete. (Probably a lot more than most professional
athletes!)
Fact: I will shave my head in Larry's Lounge if Kobe Bryant & the Lakers win
the NBA Championship. (Even though I think they have a pretty decent
chance!) *Boy I hope Kobe doesn't get caught in yet another affair
distracting himself & possibly his teammates?*
Fact: Researchers in Germany found that napping 6 minutes a day increases
productivity (I prefer 26 minutes).
We're commin!!!: Vikings went for & got both the best wide receiver & safety
available in Bernard Berian & Madieu Williams.
Fact: Nice guys can finish 1st! Sun Ray Lane's Robbie Lawrence bowled
Minnesota's 4th highest league 3 game series total of all time! Bowling 2
consecutive 300 games & then bowling 10 straight strikes in the 3rd game,
leaving only the 8 pin on his on his 11th &/or 2nd ball in the 10th & easily
picking up his spare on the last shot of the night leaving him with an
unbelievable high 3 game series of 889! WAY TO GO ROBBIE!!!
Congratulations Robbie Lawrence! I know Robbie personally & he's been a
great bowler for a long time & not once has he acted like it. He is as
humble, sincere & genuinely attentive to what anyone wants to talk about,
even constant bowling talk & stories, questions & free advice. It couldn't
have happened to a nicer guy! Good luck on your potential quest for that
900!
Fact: As of March 2008, there has only been 15 league with no pro-bowling
900's in the HISTORY of bowling!!!
THANK YOU! All 1st Tuesday of the month from Hastings & Oakdale for raising
a combined $20,000+ for your local food shelves for 2007! My family & I
THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!!
Bold Viking Prediction: If the Vikings do what sports writer Charlie Walters
suggested could be a possibility & trade our #1 draft choice for Carolina's
Peppers & Tarvaris just plays ok, that automatically makes us Superbowl
contenders! This would be 2008's version of the Purple People Eaters,
especially with the Williams wall. You heard it here 1st!!!
Barely Partial Truth & Admission: I hope you find this Blog somewhat
informative & maybe even somewhat entertaining &/or funny. If you strongly
disagree with some of the opinions expressed, remember my wife Jodi types
this & she is opinionated enough that it's very likely that she may have
completely changed my correct opinion. If you're not napping already, thanks
for your time & your welcome for your current or upcoming nap! Take care &
God Bless!

March Bierstube Blog

2008-03-23T17:21:00.000-07:00

Fact: All Bierstube cities have outstanding athletic programs in many various sports & have made it to state or won state over the years in many various sports. Far too many to mention! Congratulations to you all & keep up the great work!

Fact: Hastings got particularly (coincidently) outstanding the years after I graduated in 1983. HMMM???

Fact: The Bierstube had the great honor of making the “Treasures of MN” book & is on sale at each Bierstube. It comes complete with a Bierstube logo bookmark telling you our pages & locations, great food, history, etc.

Fact & if you care: My 2 best friends from grade school in Hastings & still are Steve Nielsen & John Klimek.

Fact: Speaking of Klimek, the “hubbub” about him is absolutely true. I recently found that out on our 20th annual golf trip (& rather scary I might add. This is somewhat of an inside joke. For those of you who aren’t in on it, use your imagination & read into it a little bit.) Yet another great trip huh guys! John, Joel, Rod, Warmy, Dave, Tom N. & Tom S.

Fact: All of the other Bierstubes are taking Hastings & Oakdale’s leads & are in the process of setting up something similar to help their local food shelves. What Hastings & Oakdale do is on the 1st Tuesday of each month from 6:00 p.m.- close we donate ½ of all of our food sales to our local food shelves.

Fact: JoJo the Balloon Guy (the Elvis of balloon guys) has graciously donated his time from 6:00-? In Oakdale just to add fun for all the kiddies & some young at heart adults. Thank you again so much Joe Leonard!!!

Opinion: The Twins & the Vikings haven’t handled things (front office wise) the best. But then again they haven’t by far been the worst. They’ve generally been better than they’ve been bad.

Prediction: Look for a couple of semi competitive years from each club; maybe even more from the Vikings depending on certain acquisitions. Possibly the same thing could be said for the Twins if EVERYTHING clicks!

Opinion: Enjoy what we have! Be positive, look forward to the great outdoor stadium & don’t forget ‘87 & ‘91!

Fact: Speaking of ’87 & ’91, in 1987, my brother Mike, Mark Merkling & I bought LW’s. In 1991, I opened JW’s Bierstube the same week the Twins were in the World Series. The Twins won the series both years. AHHH…it seems like yesterday when I bought out Rainbow’s Homer Hankies & had just enough for our Friday night customers the night of “GAME 6” The hair on my arms & the lump in my throat witnessing the game & the homer hankied happy customers for me was better than being at the game.
Fact: There are no plans of opening any new Bierstubes soon!!! (From Jim’s wife: THANK GOD!!!)

Fact: Jim Yanz runs over JJ’s Bierstube partner & friend, Jim McArdle, for game winning touchdown!!! Hastings Raiders 6, Tartan Titans 0 during 1982 Varsity Black & Blue Divisional Clash!
Opinion: If you observe closely, you can still see my cleat marks on his gigantic Cro-Magnon forehead. Jim was so woozy from the tremendously jarring hit that he still has trouble remembering to this day. He tries to refuse such a torrid embarrassing (not to mention dominating & overpowering of himself) memory.
Fact: Jim & I are believed to be brothers by looks by many people & have been asked literally 100s of times if we are. My typical response is it must be OUR huge Cro-Magnon foreheads (& dashing good looks!)

Congratulations: To the Chris & Frank Tschida Family! Thanks to their beautiful young daughter Cara on Friday, February 22, Cara found Homer Simpson in record breaking time (about 15-20 seconds) & won 5 great seats to Disney on Ice “Finding Nemo!” Congrats to the whole family!
Congratulations Part 2: Another wonderful family also won tickets to “Finding Nemo!” (Sorry I don’t have their names!)
Both winners got nearly standing ovations & very rousing & sincere rounds of applause!

Customers of the month at JW’s: All of you young guys & gals I see every Friday night! Too many names, not enough room! Thanks for your enthusiastic, innocent, (surprisingly mature at your age compared to me), fun & bright, infectious smiles, you are not only the future of the Bierstube, but also the present! Also, very long timers: Franz, Mason, Bob, Jerry & Mary, Joe & Bonnie, Sparky & Vi, Sue & that one guy, Liam, Chris & Ava, & a little newer but none the less, my Friday night buddies, Denise & Wes & last but not least, Bill & Char! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! I hope you all can make it to our 18th annual customer appreciation pig/turkey roast on Saturday July 12th. *Other Bierstubes, please be patient, everybody will get a turn! Thanks for your understanding, I only have so much room!

Prediction: Never thought I’d say this, but I believe the smoking ban helps all the Bierstubes! Especially those with adequate to 1st class smoking patios!

Opinion: A little boring for sports fans right now, but March Madness begins: NCAA Tourneys, the Masters, Twins Season Opener at home against Torii Hunter & the CA Angels March 31st, NFL Draft in April - hang in there sports fans!

Incidentally: Rob from the Bierstube in Hastings still has a little bit of room on his 2nd bus from the opening game against Torii & the Angels. Call Rob (651)334-1972 for details. If you can find a ride to Hastings, we’ll drop you off at the Oakdale Stube on the way home from the game. Great seats, 3rd of the way up the 2nd deck behind home plate!

Fact: I cannot express the absolute appreciation & admiration enough to Dena Shull of Oakdale, Rob Groth of Hastings & Cindy Schafer of IGH for their loyalty, support, perseverance & hard work that they have sacrificed for myself the past few years of the most difficult & trying business transitions I’ve EVER had! I thank you all so much!

Prediction: John McCain vs. Barack Obama for the Presidency (OOH real bold prediction! But some of you have asked for more predictions!)
Prediction: Tiger Woods will take 3 out of 4 majors. But who’s not already predicting something like that?!
Opinion: Maria Sharapova & Serena Williams in a tie.
Fact: I will still have my head shaved at “Larry’s Lounge” if the Celtics win the NBA Championship this season!

Reminder: The Bierstube’s 1st Golf Tourney kicks off with JW’s in Oakdale majorly upgrading their tourney to the outstanding Stone Ridge, May 12th, 12:30 shot gun.

Highly Recommended: The loop in the Pioneer Press. Sundays are particularly hilarious along side Charlie Walters with your kids locked up in a far away sound proof room, ear plugs in, a cup of coffee, juice, etc. & a little breakfast or a snack; you just can’t beat it.

Notice: ALL Bierstubes are going Irish St. Patty’s weekend! Specializing in the mouthwatering slow roasted corned beef & cabbage Saturday, Sunday & Monday. Great beer specials as well! Yes, Green if you want it!

Prediction: The acquisition of Shaq wins the well deserving Steve Nash (best in the NBA) his 1st NBA Title. (Why didn’t or couldn’t the wolves get a Shaq or a Paul Gasol? These acquisitions make it that much more in the bag that I won’t have to shave my head when Mr. Clutch (Kevin Garnett) & the Celtics don’t win the Championship.)

Happy 40th Birthday to the ravishingly beautiful Lara Donovan!

Overrated: Bryant McKinnie fights in night clubs better than on the football field.

Barely Partial Truth & Admission: I hope you find this Blog somewhat informative & maybe even somewhat entertaining. If you strongly disagree with some of the opinions expressed, remember my wife Jodi types this & she is opinionated enough that it’s very likely that she may have completely changed my CORRECT opinion. If you’re not napping already, thanks for your time & you’re welcome for your current or upcoming nap! Take care & God Bless!

Jim's rants & raves; Part II: February 2008, News, Notes, Facts & a few Opinions

2008-02-29T14:35:00.000-08:00

BIERSTUBE WINS!!! BIERSTUBE WINS!!! BIERSTUBE WINS!!! (Second Place)
The latest Bierstube commercial "Mike's Day Dream - Golf" wins 2nd place in a statewide poll amongst several hundred other Comcast commercials (by a very small margin!). Comcast viewers narrowly voted our 1st place MN Wild star Deric Boogard. "Boogard Goes Shopping" for the Hockey Giant Company, which I must admit is also very funny. However, I must admit &/or brag that theirs & every other Comcast commercial is written & produced by professional Comcast writers & producers. ALL of the Bierstube commercials star my little brother (260 lbs) by 10 months, Mike Yanz, as "The Bierstube Guy" who is not professional of any kind (no offense little brother). I must admit again that he does a GREAT job in these commercials & ought to consider finding an agent. It is said by the Comcast staff that I am the only owner (or non Comcast writer or producer) that writes & produces his own commercials (191 lbs). By the way, DVDs with all 4 commercials are available at no rental fee from the bartender.

Admission: Kevin Garnett always tried as hard as any other NBA Player that I've ever seen & did show a lot of class by showing up at the only Celtic/Wolves game at the Target Center Feb 8th for the pregame introductions risking being booed despite his demonstrative unnecessary actions after their one point victory just a couple weeks ago at Boston. MN NICE!

Opinion: Still a Great trade! 23 year old Al Jefferson, 2-1st round draft picks & the rest for the 31 year old Garnett!

Opinion: Top 5 greatest Super Bowls of all time. Remember: Joe Montana to John Taylor. Joe cool in the huddle deep in their own territory during a TV timeout with about 2 minutes left, "Hey guys, look there's John Candy in the 3rd row!" Speaking of Joe Montana, greatest QB I've ever seen & I'm guessing considering certain eras and rule changes one of the top 3 of ALL TIME.

Remember: Scott Norword's wide right?

Remember: Brady's 1st Super bowl & the greatest clutch kicker of all time Adam Vinatieri nailing a 48 yarder with no time left when they were huge underdogs.

Remember: John Elway's helicopter spin diving for a 1st down more importantly BEATING THE PACK!!! Sorry Cheeseheads!

Remember: The game saving tackle on the one yard line by the Rams "Greatest show on turf" defense.

Remember: Our NFL high scoring run & gun highflying 98 Vikings & the Broncos classic Super bowl in Miami? Oh wait, I better take a break! Sorry for the painful reminder of what should've been!!!

Fact: Bill Bellicheck is the biggest classless arrogant jerk in sports today & one of the worst of all time. Remember Ty Cobb, Lattrell Sprewell, etc.?

Opinion: Still a pretty darn good coach. Especially when Brady took over at QB! Les Steckel might have won a Super bowl with Brady as his signal caller!

Opinion: Top 3 greatest plays I've ever seen: Eli Manning to what's his name on third & 5. What's his name wins best catch I've ever seen in 35 yrs by far even beating out a couple of the most acrobatic catches by Lynn Swan! Considering the circumstances & how he caught that ball on his helmet with 3 Giants batting at it & hitting him & maintaining the grip on the ball with the ball barely staying above the ground. WOW! & don't forget Eli's Tarkenton like scramble giving him a chance for that desperate heave!

Fact: Bierstube outstanding performance reports: Oakdale-Jeff Wesley (again!) Outstanding, do it all, personality plus, honest, reliable, high energy, outgoing, bartender & cook. Hastings-Theron, complete team player! IGH-Corrine Cunningham, her 10 yr anniversary being a dedicated, outstanding & showing friendly efficient customer service along the many years! RW's-Karen Wiberg & Bruce Kimmus for their many years of hard work, determination & always trying to improve their crafts! WBL-Marcy Fairbanks, kitchen mgr, her special turkey wraps & gyros you can order off the menu. She's been a loyal employee for over 8 yrs. Her multitasking abilities during a busy lunch rival anybody's cooking skills. She's Jim & Jim's right hand women!

Congratulations! C.W. Donahower who picked the winner & exact score of the Superbowl at JJ's! C.W. wins a Larry's steak dinner every month for the rest of the year!!!

If you care: My right hand man for the past 15 years, that I've often described as having more integrity in his little finger than many people have in their entire body is my great friend & partner Jim McArdle! The 1st "J" in "JJ's" Bierstube in WBL.

Opinion: 2007 Managers of the year - Tie: Rob Groth, Hastings; Cindy Schafer, IGH; Karen Wiberg, Red Wing. Jim McArdle still to his credit manages WBL.

Opinion: 2007 new, up & coming & most improved managers: Patrick Gibbons-Oakdale, Cindy Schafer IGH.

Fact: "JIM YANZ COMES OUT OF THE CLOSET." (The behind the scenes overseeing closet.) I'm back! I work most mornings & early afternoons at JW's. I also host EVERY Friday night & many Tuesday nights at JW's & have for the past 7 months. New fun game at JW's: "Find Homer Simpson" for prizes!

Opinion: $ committed to Morneau, Mauer, Cuddyer, etc. & a 5 year $100 million contract offer for Johan Santana. What more could we expect out of our small market pre-new stadium Twins? Not exactly happy with what we received in return but we actually won't know that for a few years. Hopefully Johan doesn't injure his arm (wink! wink!). Plus Johan is 29 & did lose 7 of his last 11 decisions & no one else in the entire major leagues offered us anymore.

Opinion: Tori Hunter should have been traded when we had a chance to get some thing back. However, that being said, he coincidently picked up his play his last 2 years before he was due for his contract to run up & put him in better position for contract negotiations. Funny?!

Opinion: Angels definitely don't' get their money's worth & Tori returns to his 270 batting average, 70 some RBI's & sub 20 homerun seasons. Not to mention his undying defense & support of my asterisk, horrible, disgusting influence on millions of kids, Mr. Steroid, Mr. Lie Under Oath Barry Bonds!

Fact & Wonderful Gesture! When I told her about our 1st Tuesday food shelf fundraiser, a "beautiful women" gave me $100 towards the charity because she couldn't make any because her son has hockey every Tuesday night!

Fact: This is the earliest Lent has come since 1913 & the next time it will be this early in the year won't be until 2160.

Fact: Speaking of Lent, I will try to not be late for anything & not stay up past 1:30 a.m.!

Fact: Every Bierstube has a wishing well for the kiddies!

Fact: At JW's we have a trivia question at 6:00 p.m. for all customers for a free drink!

Fact: Since Father Bob's support & announcements the past several months, the "Food Shelf Tuesdays" have nearly tripled in business! Obviously meaning much more support for the food shelf! For those of you who don't know, the Bierstube in Oakdale, Hastings & soon to be IGH, donate ½ of all of our food sales after 6:00 p.m. to the local food shelf. Between Hastings & Oakdale the past 5 years we've donated a total of nearly $100,000 to the food shelves. The food shelf, myself, family & the Bierstubes THANK YOU ALL VERY MUCH!

Fact: Mayor of Oakdale Carmen Sarrack, JoJo the Balloon Guy, the Hamm's Bear, the Bierstube Guy & last but not least, Father Bob's support Tuesday February 5th helped us with record breaking sales for the food shelf at JW's. I thank all of them for their more than gracious & wonderful support!!!

Fact: JoJo the Balloon Guy has been added on to the 1st Tuesday's festivities fort he rest of 2008, donating his time & unbelievable efforts! Thank you so much Joe Leonard!!!

Predictions: This will be the only Bierstube Blog I will ever write without at least one of my predictions (whoops!)

Opinion: Brent Burns continues to be the backbone of the defensive corps. Without a big time defenseman, the Wild have no chance to win the Stanley Cup.

Fact: What's his name is David Tyree.

Fact: The "Bierstube Blog" & my rants & raves will be at least bi-monthly & continue indefinitely as long as the readers can stand it or I realize I'm just a bar owner who has no idea what I'm talking about.

Barely Partial Truth & Admission: I hope you find this Blog somewhat informative & maybe even somewhat entertaining. If you strongly disagree with some of the opinions expressed, remember my wife Jodi types this & she is opinionated enough that it's very likely that she may have completely changed my correct opinion. If you're not napping already, thanks for your time & your welcome for your current or upcoming nap!