an OC girl living in an extraordinary world

this little kitty: a poem

2008-07-18T19:48:00.001+01:00

This little kitty is still sicky-poo.

This little kitty is not.

This little kitty is still growing.

This little kitty stopped short.

This little kitty is a total mama's boy.

This little kitty loves her daddy.

This little kitty loves to nap next to mommy when mommy naps.

This little kitty would rather sleep on top of you and keep your diaphragm from expanding so that it feels like you can't breathe in the middle of the night.

Jesse thinks Gracie's out to kill us sometimes.

what if my future kids became republicans? the horror!

2008-07-17T16:34:00.003+01:00

A few weeks ago, Lexiloo* from Tea and Crumpets asked her blog peeps a question and it has been seared into my brain and I can't stop thinking about it. The question was:

Say you are a Democrat. Would you be terribly upset and disappointed if your children grew up and became Republicans? Or, vice versa?

How would this make you feel? Would you feel as though you failed as a parent?

I've gone back and forth about the answer in my head and I think maybe I've finally figured it out for myself.

Jesse's family is hard core Dem. They are passionate about the party and his parents are super psyched about Obama. And I completely understand where his parents are coming from. They grew up going to segregated schools and hanging out in segregated parks and pools and now, here they are, witnessing history--a Black man running for president, representing their party of choice. They are so stoked about Obama that Jesse's mom gave Jesse one of Obama's books for Christmas last year (by the way, when he opened the present, it was me who shrieked out of sheer joy. Jesse wasn't as happy). Jesse's mom even made it out to his rally in Prince William County back when he officially became the presumptive nominee (I bet she encountered quite a few youngsters there). When Jesse's dad talks about politics, I'm always happy to engage (it's great to engage when you agree). This is not at all what my family is like.

Because of Jesse's parents' Dem fanaticism, he's kinda turned off by politics. He votes but did not register as a Democrat. After meeting me, he's become more of an informed VA voter, but I don't think he was as informed about local politics before I came around. He hates how his parents vote solely along party lines and he prefers to vote on the issues. He sounds very much like a swing voter (I make sure he swings the right way come election time). My impression is that Jesse's lack of interest in politics is due to his parent's political passions.

On the other hand, my family isn't very political. In fact, I'm not sure in what direction my brother (a cop) leans. My sister (a teacher) votes Democrat or for whoever/whatever is in the best interest of that teacher's union she's in. And my mom is the conservative voice of the family. I've succeeded in proving her wrong on some occasions (ummm...gays are actually not evil), but there are some things she'll never budge on (abortion, gay marriage, etc).

Looking back on things my family has supported over the years outside of politics, I've realized that I am quite the opposite. For example, my family loves the Dodgers. I still remember my mom, bro and sis getting all excited when Kirk Gibson hit that infamous home run. I remember thinking, Eh. He just hit a ball really hard. Despite how crappy they were when I was younger, I began to love the Angels and happily cheered for them during every Freeway Series, despite my family's objections.

Despite having loved the campus almost as much as I did, my mom didn't want me to attend USC. She wanted me to go to UCLA. It's much safer...and cheaper, she said. So what did I do? I went to USC and LOVED it.

I could go on and on (I'm pro-choice, my family isn't; I don't go to church anymore, my family is hardcore Catholic, etc.). But the point is that Jesse and I both have a history of rebelling, which does not bode well for our future kids. I may be able to convince Jesse to be more interested in politics (at least I inform him before he heads to the polls), but I don't think I would ever be able to tone down my interest in politics.

What I really hope for is that my children share my passion for politics. At the very least, I want them to know who/what they are voting for. Obviously, I want them to vote Blue. I have a hard time imagining a Republican who can ever represent my interests (a woman's choice, AIDS/HIV issues, comprehensive sex education). But if my kids are passionate about a cause and the GOP is all about it, then they should vote in line with what they are passionate about.

The Democrat in me will cringe at the thought. But the mom in me would be satisfied with my children caring so much about something and then doing something about it.

*Lexiloo, if you're reading, this post is all your fault! :) Thanks for forcing me to think.

wtf. i've just been offended by elizabeth dole

2008-07-17T14:38:00.003+01:00

This is not today's scheduled blog post, but an activist friend alerted me to this news and I just had to share my feelings so I can get some work done today.

Jesse Helms. Remember him? You probably heard that he died on the 4th of July (how inappropriate). Anyways, here are some of his career highlights:

He vehemently opposed the racial desegregation of schools.

He vehemently opposed the Civil Rights Act

He vehemently opposed the Voting Rights Act

And he spearheaded a two week filibuster to keep the nation from honoring civil rights leader Martin Luther King, Jr. with a holiday.

Not only did he not care for the rights of African Americans, he wasn't a fan of the gays and he was all about the government controlling American uteruses (uteri?).

So, now that this American legend has passed on to the hell that is sure to await him (Karma's quite the bitch I hear), Elizabeth Dole attempted to amend* the Senate Global AIDS bill in order to name it after Jesse Helms.

Are you effing kidding me? As an AIDS activist, I am insulted beyond belief. This man attempted to block the passage of the Ryan White CARE Act for crying out loud!!!

Libby Dole, if you want to honor a man who doesn't deserve it, go amend some anti-gay marriage bill or something. Leave the AIDS bill alone.

*Dole's amendment failed, as it should have.

world war three? the future in-laws meet

2008-07-15T20:10:00.002+01:00

My family is coming to visit. And I'm really nervous.

The funny thing is that I've brought this stress upon myself. I was the one who, upon returning home from California after my sister's 40th birthday in February, suggested that maybe my family should come to DC. After all, they haven't been here in years and I now have a new place that they've never seen.

But really I invited them because I think it's time for my family to meet Jesse's.

Having bicoastal home addresses has prevented our families from meeting in the past. But with my mom and sis coming to town, this would be the perfect opportunity for everyone to get acquainted before the wedding planning begins (actually, that's a total lie. The wedding planning has been going on in my head for quite some time). With my mom's disdain for this Coast, I was beginning to think that our families would be meeting for the first time at our wedding. And that could be bad.

My mom and sis have booked flights and hotel rooms and everything is so official now. They really are coming. Jesse's family heard the news this weekend and we've already made arrangements with them for a big family dinner. This is all starting to come together. And I just can't help feeling a teensy bit of dread.

I wish I knew what to expect. I wish I could prepare myself to deal with disaster. But really, I wish I could just let the chips fall where they may and not worry about things I have no control over (this is Jesse's way of coping with EVERYTHING).

I really don't know how this is going to go.

The way I see it, it could go one of two ways. It could turn out really well. Jesse's dad and my sister will probably dominate the conversation the entire time (they are the family chatterboxes). I could see Jesse's mom and my mom getting along really well due to their mutual love of Lifetime TV and home improvement shows. I could see my sister playing with Jesse's sister's kids--probably doing girly things with London and pretending to like sports for Chauncey's sake. I could see me, worrying and stressing out over everything only for it all to turn out ok.

Or it could be a disaster. Maybe my sister and Jesse's dad will want to talk so much that they will be fighting to be the center of attention (not like physical fighting, but more like talking over each other and the like). Maybe Jesse's mom (who has been experiencing a religious conversion as of late) and my mom will start talking about religion and each mom will try to convert the other to their respective faiths. Perhaps no one will understand my mom because her accent is still pretty thick despite living in the US for over 40 years. Maybe Chauncey will think my sister is a nerd and London will ignore my sister (actually, that's a possibility in both scenarios). My sister will probably complain about the smell of crabs (we're planning on buying a bushel and my sister is anti-seafood) the whole time. And I'll burn the hot dogs and Jesse's hamburgers will come out rare and our hope for a pleasant family BBQ will be dashed.

Their visit is a month away and it really is too early to start freaking out. Yet, I am because this is what I do.

In complete seriousness, I fear that my family might be looked down upon. Granted, I have nothing to go on here. Jesse's family has been nothing but super sweet to me. They've always made me feel like a member of their family. And I realize that these are my own insecurities at play.

So I should probably deal before my family gets here. Thank goodness I've got a month.

dog meet world

2008-07-14T19:38:00.004+01:00

As you guys know, Heidi, the family dog, passed away last month. Not too long ago, I asked the question, "How soon is too soon to get a new dog?" My mom was up for getting a new dog because she really missed Heidi. My sister was not so receptive.

But all of that changed a couple of weeks ago when my mom and sis had to dogsit for my brother's family dog. Dundee spent the week at my mom's house while my brother and his family went camping or some outdoorsy thing like that. Despite the fact that she was still hurting, my sister couldn't ignore the dog. She spent a lot of time with him during the course of the week, feeding him, playing with him, taking him on walks. She really began to miss having a dog around.

I know that people get over tragedies differently. And I really thought that my sis would be sad for a long time. But thanks to Dundee, the healing process was short.

After an unsuccessful trip to the Mission Viejo Animal Shelter, my mom and sis received a text from my brother over the weekend. Apparently, one of his friends has labs who recently had puppies and the friend was trying to find homes for the puppies. A lab would be perfect for my family--my mom thinks they are super cute and my sister didn't want another German Shepherd (Heidi could never be replaced). On Sunday, they checked out the pups and fell in love with one.

And now, making her blog debut is Jenny, the yellow lab puppy and the newest addition to our family.

Isn't she precious?

P.S. That is my mom holding her. I love that she still wears her wedding ring even though she's been a widow for most of my life.

my baby is still sick, but not as sick as other people...

2008-07-11T20:28:00.003+01:00

This little furball is still sick.

He is SO OVER being sick, as you can tell.

The baldness on his leg has increased in size since we took him to the vet two weeks ago and we're going back again tomorrow to get some more diagnostics done. Hopefully, we'll soon find out why my fur baby is missing fur.

The other day, I had the pleasure of meeting Capitol Hill 20210 for happy hour and she agreed to give little Nicky a look afterwards (she was sober, so it was ok). Without revealing too much, I trust her judgment as she has more animal health training than I do. So, she came over and had a look see (and play time with the kittehs) and told me not to worry. She also advised me to check out the interwebs for pictures of hotspots, since that is obviously what Nicky is suffering from.

Shortly after she left, I hit the Web running and did a google image search for hotspots. That didn't work as I'm not looking to see what the most popular clubs in the world look like. But doing a search for the medical term for hotspots (dermatitis, acute dermatitis, or acute moist dermatitis) led me to view some horrific images that have now been seared into my brain.

Like this one (AKA crusty butt)

Or this one (crusty peen)

Thankfully, Nicky appears to have an incredibly mild case compared to these people.

And I have CH 20210 to thank for scarring me for life. :)

really, your kids are having sex. like seriously.

2008-07-10T22:27:00.003+01:00

Before school let out for the summer, I was doing some HIV outreach near a DC high school which I've heard has the highest graduation rate in the entire city. It also has a day care for the students with babies.

Getting to work as early as I do, I often see these girls with their babies on their way to school. They all look so young. It makes me incredibly sad that children are having children. I'm very aware of the fact that kids that age are having sex. But I'm not desensitized to the point where I don't feel bad when seeing a kid with a baby in her arms.

Still, kudos to the school for allowing those girls to continue their education.

Obviously those kids are sexually active. However, I am forbidden from doing outreach at the school or handing out condoms to anyone under 18. So, when I passed by the school a few weeks ago and saw what I saw, I seriously considered breaking the law.

There are windows in the school's stairwells and I saw two kids going at it. Clearly, they should've been in class. And I could've sworn this school had security guards or maybe some scary looking hall monitors. I grabbed one of my condom kits and when the two finally came up for air, they looked out the window and saw me waving the condoms at them. My aide and outreach partner laughed at me. "What are you doing?" she asked. "Clearing these kids are doing it. Hopefully not now, but later, I'm sure. They better use a condom, damn it," I replied. If they're going to have sex, they might as well protect themselves, right?

With school out for the summer, I've been seeing more and more kids out during the day when I do outreach. Since I'm not on school grounds, I'm tempted to talk to them. However, the grant that funds my program forbids us from reaching out to anyone under 18. So, when a 13 year old came up to me and asked for some condoms, my immediate reaction was to tell him, "No, sorry, you're not old enough." His reply: "I'm old enough to have sex."

Touché, little punk. Touché.

The activist in me said, Hey, these kids are having sex. You have an obligation to give them the tools they need to protect themselves. The goody-two-shoes in me said, The agency funding your program doesn't want you reaching out to youngsters. In addition, the goody-two-shoes in me shook her head at me and looked at me with disappointment.

With school out, I know I'll be encountering kids like these more and more. I need to come up with a solution that I can live with.

The activist in me is winning the battle inside my head to determine what is the 'right' thing to do.

to insure or not to insure?

2008-07-03T17:41:00.003+01:00

This conversation went down on Saturday.

Vet: So Dominick had a bit of a respiratory infection, right?

Me: Yes.

Vet: And that's all cleared up now with the antibiotics?

Me: Yes, he's fine.

Vet: And now he has a Hot Spot?

Me: Yeah, it's on the inside of his arm. He's hairless from his elbow to his shoulder. He licks it all the time.

Vet: Any changes at home recently? Any visitors? New carpet?

Me: No, but Nicky's had this before. This bald spot. It happened when we went away for the weekend to Colorado and when we came back he was really clingy and he had this bald spot and I did some research online and found that maybe he had separation anxiety so we got him a little sister.

Nicky: Meow?

Vet (as she picks up Nicky and places him on the examination table): Awww...and they get along well?

Jesse and Me: haha

Me: Ummm...well, for the most part.

Vet (smiles while checking out Nicky): Just like brother and sister, huh?

Nicky jumps off table and continues to explore the room.

Me: Yeah.

Vet: Well, it could be parasites, but since he's an indoor kitty that's not very likely especially if the other kitty doesn't have anything. Or he could have an allergy or maybe a bite that has just gotten out of control. Or maybe he's just anxious and we can treat him for that like with Prozac or something.

Nicky: Meoooow!

After deciding on a course of action, the vet left and then came back.

Vet (placing Nicky on the examination table): Good kitty.

Vet then kisses Nicky on the forehead.

Vet: So there's two medications. This one is for the allergy. And this one is a topical antibiotic. Each one should be given twice daily.

Nicky (annoyed): Meow! (pause) Meow?

Oh lordy. I love my kitties as if they were my own children. But I have now seen more of the vet than I have seen my doctor this whole year.

Nicky has been twice. We took him in to get checked soon after we adopted him. He was sniffly and sneezy. Turns out he had a cold which is common for shelter kitties. Luckily for kitties, they have medication for that. That visit plus the medicine cost us almost $150.

And then we adopted Gracie. A few weeks ago, Gracie had some really bad diarrhea. I will spare you the horrible details. After we adopted her, we didn't really feel the need to get her checked out seeing as she had just had her spay surgery and I'm sure all sorts of preventative work done before that by the rescue. But the diarrhea was too much to bear so we took her in. Her full check up, second deworming, medication and stool sample analysis cost us nearly $300.

Gracie, post diarrhea

And just last week we took Nicky in because he was going bald on his leg. I thought maybe Gracie had scratched him during one of their rough and tumble play fights and Nicky just kept licking it (actually a small part of me assumed it was anxiety of some sort). So his recent visit and two medications cost us about $150.

Nicky, during healthier times

I have spent $600 on vet costs alone.

I'm not complaining. I take the kitties to the vet for selfish reasons. Sure I want them to get better. But I worry about them so much that I just HAVE to take them to the vet for my own peace of mind. Granted, I've had valid reasons for all those visits. But the costs are a little scary.

Changing vets is not an option. I love the vets at Ballston Animal Hospital. They ALWAYS call and follow up with us after visits. The kitties get more personal attention from the staff at the hospital than I do from my doctor and my doctor is routinely voted a top doc in Washingtonian magazine.

So, I'm wondering if anyone out there has pet insurance. Yeah, I've started to look into it. And I've heard mixed reviews. Some people say it's great if you get the right one. Others say that you're better off just saving a little bit of money each month.

Anyone out there with pet health insurance that can weigh in? Or maybe you've thought about it and changed your mind? I would love your input.

DC and the transient nature of its residents

2008-07-02T18:16:00.002+01:00

Today is my DC-versary. On this day 6 years ago, I left my family and friends behind and moved to DC, a city with no family or friends of mine. I knew no one and despite the fact that I was not alone in not knowing anyone, it took me a while to find friends. Sure, you can always find someone to go to happy hour with. Someone to drink your sorrows away with. But as far as true, honest to goodness, loyal peeps you can always count on to talk to when the going gets tough--yeah, those are very rare in this city.

My problem is that I find that one true friend and then the friend moves away. This has happened to me multiple times. Sometimes they're an intern and their internship is over and now it's time to go back to her real home. Or maybe it's a job as a contractor and the job is now up. Or maybe he decides to buy a home with the boyfriend whose job is taking him to another city. Or maybe she can't find a good job and has to move home where good jobs are abundant. OR maybe they just happened to apply and get into very prestigious PhD/Masters programs and therefore need to move abroad/to Princeton/to the Midwest. Yes, all of these have happened to me. The last one is the latest reason why three of my good friends are leaving me at the end of this summer.

You're probably all thinking, well, OC girl, you can totally maintain these friendships despite the distance. Yes, that's true. And with everyone who has left me and DC before, I have attempted to do so. In fact, the aforementioned intern is someone I still consider a great and true friend. However, that doesn't work for everyone. When it comes to friendships, distance doesn't necessarily make the heart grow fonder. In fact, distance is often a deal killer. Long distance friendships take work (right, Cali peeps?) and if only one person puts in the effort (such as what happened between me and the boy who bought a place with boyfriend in another city), then the friendship very easily falls apart.

Gone are the conciliatory drinks and coffee breaks ("I'm so sorry I've been so busy. Let's meet for drinks on Friday and catch up!"). Instead, unreturned emails and phone calls abound.

Although I am really happy that my friends are moving along academically (M with her Masters program and S and V with their PhD programs), I am really, really upset to see them go...all at the same time. It's this constant cycle of good people coming into and out of my life and, although I've tolerated the departures of my friends in the past, this time I want to put my foot down and scream, "NO!"

I understand that the revolving door of friendships keeps turning because people keep coming to and leaving DC. This city doesn't seem to be the place where one stays (unless you're in the military or politics or both) and settles and raises a family. In the long journey of life, DC is like a pitstop where one refuels or gets a tune up and then moves on to the next destination refreshed and re-energized. Why don't people stay for longer than a few years? This place isn't so bad. Yeah, I complain about it all the time (really, it's the weather and the people who think everything revolves around them). But it's still a nice place to be.

Sometimes I look at Jesse and what he's got and I'm jealous. Jesse has lived in Northern Virginia since he moved here from Charlottesville as a wee lad. Jesse has the same group of friends that he's had since elementary school. The group grew in size when they added new friends in high school and college. And still, all of his friends are all here, living in NoVA and still hanging out. A big group of guys (and a couple of girls) who grew up together and managed to stay friends through it all. Yeah, I definitely get jealous.

The truth is (and I know this sounds incredibly selfish) I just really wish my friends were here with me all the time that way I wouldn't miss them so much.

national HIV testing day: pimping myself out for my job

2008-06-27T16:03:00.002+01:00

I've been spending quite a bit of time doing HIV/AIDS outreach in the mean streets of DC for the last two weeks. I'm on the look out for people who are 'at-risk' which is public health speak for people who are most susceptible to HIV infection for whatever reason. These reasons could be: poverty, drug use, alcohol abuse, living on the down low, etc.

I encounter my fair share of shady characters when I'm out in the streets, giving out free condoms and urging people to get tested for HIV. And for some reason, the guys I encounter feel that my outreach efforts are just an opportunity to hit on me.

Here is a sample of what I heard last Friday night:

"Well, I don't actually have a girlfriend right now, but if you're free, maybe we can use the condoms together."

"You're real pretty. Are you married? What size shoe do you wear?"

"I don't think these condoms are going to fit. Do you have any Magnums or XLs? I'm a big guy if you know what I mean. Heh, heh. Maybe I can show you." (yes, I give away free XLs too)

"You gotta boyfriend? Cuz if you don't, then maybe I can use these condoms with you."

"I don't need an HIV test. I don't sleep with prostitutes. I'd sleep with you though."

Here is what I would like to say to them:

"Look, just because I'm giving you condoms as a means to SAVE YOUR LIFE doesn't mean that I want to use those condoms with you. Get your own damn partner!"

Here is what I actually say to them:

"ENJOY!"

Speaking of saving your life, do you remember when your last HIV test was? If it was 6 months ago (or longer), then it's time. Today is National HIV Testing Day. The test is quick, painless, and bloodless. All it takes is a simple swab of your mouth and in 30 minutes or less, you'll get your results. If you're not sure where you can get a confidential HIV test near you, check out this site.

In other HIV news, the Centers for Disease Control released a report today that shows HIV infections are rising yet again in the gay male community, especially between the ages of 13 and 24. Come on, peeps! Use a condom and get tested!!

I'm stepping off the soapbox now.

Oh wait a sec. Before I get off the soapbox, for anyone who's going to question why I do what I do when I encounter the kind of people who make remarks like those above, I should tell you that for every 5 creepy guys, I get one person who is grateful for those condoms or watched a brother, cousin, best friend die of AIDS and appreciates what I do. And if those creepy guys at least get tested or use those condoms, then my work is done.

Ok, NOW I'm off the box.

stuff on my cat: OC girl edition

2008-06-24T14:52:00.000+01:00

My kitties are trying to tell you something.

Gracie and Nicky's mommy will be at the Angels/Nats game tonight and tomorrow. Naturally, I will be cheering on my beloved Angels, just as I did last night from the comfort of my own home (Angels came from behind to win, 3-2).

I'll return to the blog on Thursday.

Until then, here is a gratuitous kitteh photo to hold you over:

I caught my babies cuddling. Awww...

women can't be trusted...never, ever, ever

2008-06-20T16:22:00.004+01:00

Seeing the following images on one of my favorite political blogs, Clintonistas for Obama, really pissed me off.

Lucky, I went over to Kenneth Cole’s AWEARness blog and found this little gem.

I feel somewhat better now.

SOC: crazy, sexy, boo boo

2008-06-19T17:00:00.001+01:00

hey sexy,

4 years, huh? can you believe it's been that long? seems like only yesterday when i was checking you out as you walked into dupont italian kitchen, wondering how IT nerds could be so hot. that was definitely one of the best days of my life. who knew that day would be the start of something special, different, liberating, intoxicating, passionate, extraordinary?

certainly not me. i wasn't expecting you to come into my life. wonderful, handsome, intelligent you.

i was a silly girl back then. so emotional yet distant. a cynic who didn't expect to fall in love. pushing people away and being the opposite of having my heart on my sleeve. that heart was under lock and key. and then your love struck me like a lightning bolt and i was forever changed.

you found my heart and now
it's all yours.

4 years is plenty of time to change. and change we did. i wonder if you've noticed how we went from a couple of crazy kids in love to a couple of adults starting our own family (with kittehs!!!). do we make the best team or what?

you are the perfect package. tall (yes, height is important). funny. smart. sensitive. caring. understanding. hot. strong. what did i do to deserve you? how in the world did i get so lucky?

remember when kate told us we don't know how lucky we are. i think we do. we know what we have. that perfect, elusive combination of love passion friendship partnership. yup. we've got it.

they say it's not the destination but the journey. and i wouldn't change a thing. every step we took to get to where we are now? perfect.

every tear i've cried. worth it.
every glance we've exchanged. soulful.
every hug you gave. comforting.
every kiss we've shared. love.
every touch between us. gentle.
every cuddle in bed. blissful.

i found you when i wasn't looking. the love of my life. i love you today and forever.

happy anniversary

gracie under fire

2008-06-18T17:45:00.004+01:00

Moving in together was possibly the best thing Jesse and I could've done in order to get ready for a future together. The second best thing was adopting the fur babies.

I've said it before and I have to say it again, having these kitties is a lot like having children (the young, helpless, dependent kind). You have to feed them, bathe them, and watch over them to make sure they don't do anything to hurt themselves. The biggest challenge Jesse and I have faced in raising kitties is Gracie.

Sure, she looks all sweet and curious in this picture, but you should see the plant now.

Don't let the cuteness fool you, peeps. She is quite the troublemaker. Little Gracie firmly believes that she can get by on her looks and cute, chirpy meows, and constant rubbing up your leg. But I'm beginning to think her whole purpose in life is to cause trouble and to make Nicky her accomplice.

Gracie was really good with the word "No" when we first got her. Now she thinks NO! is a common reaction to whatever she does so it's lost all meaning.

the calm before the storm of trouble making

I know what all you experienced cat parents are thinking--it's time for the spray bottle. Well, Gracie likes water, so that didn't really work. And I don't have the heart to use the canned air on her. The last thing I want is for her to hate us. In trying to figure out ways to get her to stop, Jesse and I have differed greatly. He is totally the disciplinarian. He is angry and firm and very protective of Nicky (our first kitty who is the perfect angel compared to Gracie and sometimes goes hungry because Gracie eats his food). On the other hand, I follow up my loud "No!"s with hugs and cuddles and kisses. I'm a sucker for the seemingly contrite look in her eyes after I've yelled at her. Then I start to feel guilty for yelling at her in the first place. This is then followed by Gracie doing whatever it was I yelled at her for a few minutes earlier.

Clearly, my method isn't working.

perhaps plotting world domination?

A perfect example of bad mothering happened a few weeks ago. Jesse had left out a frozen pack of pork chops on the kitchen counter to thaw while we were at work (we don't have a microwave, which I'm told helps shorten the thawing process). Jesse and I returned home to find a bloody bone at the front door.

Apparently, Gracie had jumped up on the kitchen counter (Nicky is not capable of doing this, so we know it had to be Gracie), bit into the vacuum pack of pork chops, and somehow managed to pull a pork chop out of the tiny hole she made in the plastic (bones and all) and then she and Nicky proceeded to eat the raw piece of meat.

Jesse and I stood at the front door in complete shock upon seeing the bloody bone. Naturally, Jesse seemed angry at the kitties and at Gracie in particular for being the instigator. Upon inspecting the bone, I noticed that all the meat was gone, but the fat remained on the bone. Oddly enough, this made me very happy. Like an optimist looking for the silver lining, I said to Jesse, "Look, they left the fat on the bone! That means they're healthy kitties! Yay!" To the fur babies, I said, "Good kitties!"

Jesse was briefly impressed yet was still angry and was trying to think of what we were going to do for dinner. On the other hand, I was still in awe of the kitties for avoiding the fat on the pork chop. Sure, they could've been picky. But I'd like to think they were making a health conscious choice.

So, you see? My parenting skills need work.

happy father's day, MOM

2008-06-13T18:15:00.001+01:00

I was 10 years old and it was the last week of school. The Sunday after the last day of school just so happened to be Father's Day. Final grades were already turned it, so the last week of school was all fluff and nothing academic. So my teacher made us create Father's Day cards as 'art.'

With my father having passed away 8 years ago, I didn't have a father to give my Father's Day card to. As everyone started to paint and glue and draw, I sat in my desk, idle and numb. Suddenly, I had a thought. I'll make a card for my mom instead. After all, she was the person in my life that I looked up to. She was both my father and mother as she was raising me on her own. She deserves two celebrations: Mother's and Father's Days.

Determined in what I wanted to do, I went over to the teacher's desk and asked her in a whisper, "Can I make my card for my mom instead?" Understandingly, she replied, "Yes, of course. That's a great idea."

Happily, I returned to my seat and proceeded to create my masterpiece. As I was putting the finishing touches on the front of my card (which boldly read, "Happy Father's Day, MOM"), a bully in my class came over to see what I was doing. His parents knew my mom very well and he was well aware that my father had died. But that didn't stop him from saying out loud to the whole class, "Happy Father's Day, mom? That's dumb. Father's day is for fathers, not mothers. You're so stupid."

I remember this moment quite vividly. The way my heart broke. How my excitement in making my mom happy changed to sadness over my father's absence immediately. The way my face flushed red by being called out as a fatherless child in front of my classmates. I became upset and started to cry. The teacher gave me permission to run to the bathroom, where my bawling continued.

Ten years later and nearly 28 years after my father's passing, Father's Day hurts a little less but it still hurts. Instead I focus on my mom and the endless sacrifices she made so that I could have a relatively normal childhood. I wish I had known my father. But I've got an amazing mom that almost makes up for his absence.

Because of this, I've realized that fathers come in many different forms. Sometimes they are the much wiser older brother. Sometimes they are the uncle who raised you or the grandfather who made sure you never went without. Or maybe they're the family friend who taught you how to ride a bike and then took you to get your drivers' license. Whoever your father is don't forget to remember him this Sunday. A phone call and an "I love you" can go a long way.

As for me on Sunday? I'll be telling my mom that she's the best dad a girl could ever have.

how soon is too soon?

2008-06-12T17:36:00.000+01:00

My sister was in the room when Heidi passed. Part of me is really glad that I am on the opposite side of the country. Another part of me really wishes that I had been there for my family. After all, Heidi was the family dog for over 10 years. Losing her has hit us all hard.

When I heard that Heidi had been put down, I rushed home after work and nearly hugged the life out of my kitties. It has really helped me to have them around. Whenever I start to think about how sick Heidi was, all I need to do is look over at Gracie and Nicky and I'm instantly distracted. I don't want to remember what Heidi was like in the final year of her life. I want to remember her as the happy, playful doggie she used to be.

My mom was talking to me the other day about her feelings regarding Heidi and her absence. Neither she nor my sister can bear going outside to the back yard, knowing that Heidi won't be there to greet them. My sister can't stand to look at Heidi's food bowl and toys. My mom can't bear to touch them or put them away. My mom seemed surprised by the hurt and pain she is feeling. "I didn't expect to feel so sad about losing Heidi. But it feels like we lost a member of our family," she told me. Maybe because we did.

Gingerly, I mentioned the idea of getting another dog. Heidi could never be replaced, nor would I suggest that. But perhaps rescuing a needy pup might fill the void that Heidi left. My mom considered the idea for a moment and then said, "I don't know if I can have another dog. Just to think, you spend all of this time loving and caring for a dog and then they go away and you're left with so much hurt. Why would I put myself through that again?" Touché.

Hmmm...methinks this is all part of the mourning process. I've said the same thing to myself many times after a failed relationship. But isn't that the point of life, to take a chance on love, hoping that someone will love you back? Isn't that what we all strive for in our pursuit of relationships (whether they be platonic or not)? And yeah, human love is different from the animal form, but isn't it sometimes better (I'm referring to the unconditional love that pets give)?

I've been spending a lot of time on Petfinder, looking for a new dog for my mom. There are so many animals in need. And I firmly believe that getting another dog is just what my family needs.

But how soon is too soon to fill the void Heidi left? How long does mourning need to be? I know I'm certainly not over Heidi's passing, but it certainly helps to come home to two precious kitties every day.

an open letter to...

2008-06-09T18:37:00.003+01:00

the daughter of my brother's wife (not technically my niece but I think of her as such)

Dear Kaylee,

Congratulations, Smarty Pants. You've achieved another end-of-school-year best-student-ever award. Yup, I know you're proud and you should be. And some of your peers might even congratulate you and help you celebrate your achievements. Seeing as that this is something that the people you know have come to expect of you (since you get this award every year), I may be the only one who knows that this one feels just as sweet as the previous ones, even if everyone around you has become jaded by the experience. That is because once upon a time, I was you.

Yup, yup. I was/am a nerd. Just like you. I got the straight A's and the academic accolades that come with such a record during the course of many, many years. Along with those accolades came the teasing and harassment from my peers who didn't like me because I always set the curve on the test or because I always had the right answer when I rose my hand. I had very few friends in grade school. My junior high years weren't any easier. As I ventured into my teens, being popular became so much more important then it had been. And, Kaylee, I was NOT popular, by any means. I was so removed from popularity that I was practically invisible. People only noticed me when the teacher was handing back graded tests and the teacher would single out the person with the highest score (that would be me). And my descent into oblivion continued for a while.

I clung to the few friends I did have. They were my life lines. And then something magical happened. I went to high school.

Now, I haven't heard anything from my brother about what high school you'll be going to one day, but I should tell you that it's super important. High school saved my life. It was there that I found other people who shared my commitment to academics. Maybe some of them were the social pariahs of their junior highs. Or maybe getting good grades was the cool thing to do at their old schools. I don't know and it didn't matter. What mattered is that I found myself surrounded by people I could truly consider my intellectual peers.

While I had never been the social butterfly before, I began to flourish in high school, making friends in all of my honors and AP classes, some of whom I still talk to today. They never made me feel like less of a person because I was smart. "Nerd" became a term of endearment. And people who didn't understand something that was said in class would come to me for help, not because they were using me but because they respected me for being smart.

You know how they say that high school prepares you for college? Well, it truly does. Had I not met the friends I made in high school, I don't think I would've been socially prepared for college. And if you decide to go to the best university in the country (ahem, that would be USC not that Notre Lame your papa likes) I can speak from experience that you will find LOTS of other nerds there. It's like a big nerd convention with tons of people thirsty for knowledge and eager to learn new, complicated things.

So ultimately, what I want to tell you (if it would even be appropriate to send you this) is that you are perfect just the way you are. Just keep on reading books way beyond your grade level and being smart and doing your thing. Yeah, school can be rough sometimes. Yup, there are bullies and mean girls and people who are jealous of you for being smart. And trust me, I know it can be really hard.

But one day when you're older and out conquering the world, you'll look back on this time of your life and think, "I was a nerd and I'm proud of it!"

hopefully the final word on latinos and obama

2008-06-06T13:51:00.007+01:00

While the LA Times is not usually my first source for breaking news, I loved that this story was the headline online:

Obama leads in battle for Latino vote

The latest polls show he has a surprising advantage over McCain and is favored by up to 62% of voters.

I have two words: WOO and HOO!

P.S. Feed reader peeps, I'm having issues with font color. I apologize for multiple publishings.

an emotional witness to history in the making

2008-06-04T19:29:00.001+01:00

Last night, I was sitting on the floor near the TV. Jesse was laying on the couch right behind me. And Gracie-poo was laying on my belly and her tail was swishing about. Jesse was flipping the channels, looking for something to watch, while giving Gracie some love. And then CNN caught his attention. Wolf Blitzer was announcing BREAKING NEWS: Barack Obama had clinched the Democratic Presidential nomination.

Jesse and I knew that it was going to happen at some point. The AP reported during the day that Obama was officially the nominee. However, the Washington Post wasn't confirming it. Neither was CNN. So it seemed like every news source wanted to be the first to break this story, officialness be damned.

But as Wolfie explained the delegate math to me one more time and how Obama now had the required number of delegates, it really was official. And once that sunk in, I started to cry.

Oh hell, I'm such a sap when it comes to politics. But I seriously couldn't help myself. I was witnessing history. Even if he doesn't win the presidency (at which point, I will probably cry again), his nomination is an amazing event in American politics (disclaimer: had Hillary won the nomination, I would be writing a similar blog post). And I was here to watch all the drama go down and lead to this--a Black man as a presidential nominee.

So one day, when my beautiful biracial children start to get political (what's a good age to get them started? 5?), I can tell them about the biracial presidential nominee hopeful who started out at the bottom of the pack and somehow managed to win the nomination in the end (the story will have a much better ending if the nominee is elected president). It's an inspirational story that I hope my future children will find inspiring too.

Speaking of inspiring, this is from Obama's speech on race, 3/18/08 in Pennsylvania:

The profound mistake of Reverend Wright’s sermons is not that he spoke about racism in our society. It’s that he spoke as if our society was static; as if no progress has been made; as if this country – a country that has made it possible for one of his own members to run for the highest office in the land and build a coalition of white and black; Latino and Asian, rich and poor, young and old -- is still irrevocably bound to a tragic past. But what we know -- what we have seen – is that America can change. That is true genius of this nation. What we have already achieved gives us hope – the audacity to hope – for what we can and must achieve tomorrow.

Maybe for one day, Dems, Republicans, Nader fans, whoever I'm leaving out, can we please just stop the fighting/debating/discourse for a second and appreciate how awesome it is to have a Black nominee for president?

Ok, maybe just another second....

...

...

...

You may now resume whatever you were doing.

the Great Latino/Black Hate Hype of '08

2008-06-02T18:31:00.000+01:00

Hillary Clinton's win in the Puerto Rican primary has once again brought up the issue about Latino voters and whether or not they can vote for an African American presidential candidate. The media has done much to (in my opinion) hype up the idea that Blacks and Latinos don't get along. I've done what I can to dispel that myth. And now, I have an outsider's opinion to back me up.

One of my counselors is Bolivian. He came to this country a long time ago and is a U.S. citizen who is registered to vote. F, my aide, and I recently sat down for a chat when F suddenly brought up the elections. I know better to discuss politics at work (I am well aware that my hot-headedness can get me into trouble), so I tried my best to listen and not really insert my opinion into the conversation (yes, that was hard for me). I let my aide and F go at it. My aide has long been an Obama supporter so she declared her Obama love. On the other hand, F was a Hilary supporter who could not see himself voting for Obama in the primary but would vote for him in the general elections if he ended up being the candidate (yes, this conversation took place a while ago).

I asked F why he preferred Hillary over Obama. He replied, "Well, she has a lot of experience." Against my better judgment (I was curious about the answer), I asked, "What specifically is her experience?" F answered, "Well, I don't really know actually. But things were really great under her husband. The economy was good. And he fixed a lot of things. I think Hillary can make things good again." My aide asked, "But why can't Obama change things? He's all about change and hope. That's what his campaign is all about."

Without skipping a beat, F answered, "Look, I'm Latino. I've heard this song and dance before. The promise of hope and change from politicians? It just doesn't happen. We can't believe it because we've heard it all in our home countries before only to elect someone who keeps doing the same bad things or does even worse things. We don't believe in hope when a politician promises it."

Could the Latino community's support of Hillary be as simple as this? I've read a lot of articles where older Latinos have stated that they won't vote for Obama yet younger ones seemed open to the idea. F's rationale for why he wouldn't vote for Obama seems to fit this.

I refuse to believe the media's spin that Latinos and Blacks don't get along and that's why Latinos won't vote for Obama. I just don't buy the hate hype. Sorry, media, but this brown chica isn't fooled.

However, maybe I'm just being a little bit hopeful, a little bit naive. Maybe I see that it's 2008 and we should have already moved on from judging someone based on the color of their skin.

Because I would really hate to see my people perpetuate the same hate that has been shown to us.

proving them wrong one person at a time

2008-05-29T18:17:00.002+01:00

This past weekend, Jesse and I went down to Orange County. No, not my beloved OC that is in the greatest state of the Union (ahem...that would be the gay-marrying state of California). The other OC. No, not the one in Florida. The OTHER OC--the one in central Virginia.

Jesse spent a lot of time there as a kid. Both of his grandmothers lived there, one in Locust Grove and the other in Orange. His aunt currently lives in Germanna (I think) and she was having a family bar-b-q in honor of the long weekend. Because his aunt relocated from Locust Grove to Germanna recently, Jesse didn't know her address. Subsequent phone calls to his 'rents went unanswered so we spent quite a bit of time driving around the neighborhoods, hoping to come across his aunt's house. Now, I'm sure you city folks are thinking, yeah, that will be a fruitless endeavor. But actually, the town is really, really small and there weren't that many neighborhoods there. We ended up stumbling upon Jesse's aunt's house eventually.

Everything about Orange was very small townish. I was struck by the rural-ness and the isolation. The nearest Target was over 30 minutes away in Fredericksburg! Oh, the horror! We drove for long stretches without coming across a business or store of any kind. There were a lot of woods and homes. Some barely marked roads led to an expanse of winding dirt roads in the woods where people actually lived. It was all very quiet and kinda natural. I'm not sure I liked it.

As Jesse was giving me a driving tour of the OC, VA, he told me countless stories about his childhood and what it was like growing up and visiting his grandmothers and how the highlight of his visits was when his grandma would announce that it was "time to go to town" (town = Fredericksburg, I suppose). He told me about how schools were segregated there when his parents were younger. Earlier that day, his dad was telling us about how the whole county only had one pool for blacks and the pool was very small and incredibly crowded on hot, summer days. Internally, I wondered how much the town had progressed since the civil rights era. Had they come far? In Jesse's aunt's neighborhood (which was really new compared to what I saw in Locust Grove...at least the streets were paved there), I watched as Jesse's young cousin played with her next door neighbor, a cute white girl with short brown hair. It's hard for me to imagine a time when such interaction was forbidden.

I come from a very diverse county in a very diverse state. I grew up with friends of many cultures. I have Jewish friends and Muslim friends and Hindu friends. Being exposed to so many people with different backgrounds definitely influenced me growing up. I learned early that you can't assume you know a person by what they look like. I discovered that keeping an open mind is the only way to get along in a world of many colors.

But what of those people who come from small towns, towns that are really small, towns without paved roads? What about the people who grew up knowing people who looked like them and talked like them and prayed at the same church as they did because it was the only church in town? Are they open to new things? Would they be afraid of the unfamiliar? How would they feel if a stranger came into their town, someone with a different skin color who prays to a different deity? Would they welcome the stranger? Or shun him/her?

As Jesse showed me more of the OC, we discussed segregation some more. I wondered, "How did it all end? How did people begin to realize that blacks are people too?" Jesse responded, "I don't know." I said, "I wish I knew how to change people's minds. How do you get people to realize that what they've believed all along is wrong and hurtful and unfair?"

With sadness, Jesse said, "I think people need time."

I replied, "Yeah, well I'm not very patient."

a glimpse into my future as a crazy cat lady

2008-05-23T15:49:00.002+01:00

When Jesse and I adopted Dominick, he came with everything: shots, neuter, ID tag, and microchip. Apparently, since Hurricane Katrina, when lots of animals were separated from their humans, microchipping is a pretty standard procedure. A microchip is inserted just below the skin between the shoulder blades and, when scanned, will provide all of the contact information for the animal's human. Sure, we live in a condo building and it would be nearly impossible for Nicky to escape or get lost out in the wild, but one can never be too sure. Besides, we're not going to live in that condo forever.

Little did we know that Nicky is quite the escape artist, dashing to escape the comforts of home every time we open the front door. He's also quite adept at opening doors. So yeah, the microchip was a good idea.

Since we adopted Gracie from a different agency, she came with her pretty little diva self, recently vaccinated and spayed. The ID tag was purchased at PetSmart and her microchip was implanted this week.

The Animal Welfare League of Arlington (Nicky's previous caretakers) offers low cost microchipping and rabies shots several times a year (so if you're interested in this great service, check out their website). We brought Gracie over there and did not expect to see the animal mad house that was there--puppies and full grown big doggies, ferrets and giant kitties. There was barking and the occasional battle between doggies. The ferrets were pretty quiet, but the scared kitties were meowing like crazy. Gracie, who doesn't really talk much, took it all in from the comforts of her carrier. While the animal craziness surrounded us, I spoke softly to Gracie, trying to keep her calm and to let her know that her mommy wasn't going any where.

An older woman showed up with her two large kitties. As she waited in line, she spoke to them loudly as if they could respond (I do that too, but in the comfort of my own home). "Look, Kitty A and Kitty B (so I forgot their names)! So many doggies!" "As soon as we're done here, we can go home, ok, Kitty A and Kitty B?" "Don't worry, Kitty A and Kitty B, it won't hurt a bit." And then she made some contemptible remarks about the dog owners. "Humph. Can't even control their own animals. My kitties are better than that." You know, standard Cat Lady fare.

And then, a large dog approached her cat carriers. I'm sure he was just the curious sort, but the Cat Lady glared at the dog's owner, who pulled the dog back on his leash. The kitties may or may not have been alarmed. But the Cat Lady came to their defense anyways. With flare, she said, "Don't worry, babies. I would throw myself at any dog that might hurt you guys so you babies don't have to worry about a thing." Hmmm...a bit melodramatic if you ask me.

But then, after we paid and went to the microchipping line, a dog got close to Gracie's carrier and I instinctively pulled her closer to me. Jesse asked me, "Why did you do that? What's the dog going to do? She's already in a carrier." I responded, "Well, I'm sure Gracie is nervous as it is. No need to stress her out even more."

gracie during happier times

The truth is that I was stressed out. I figured the microchipping might be painful. And the last thing I wanted was for Gracie to feel any pain. Jesse and I saw the dog before us get his microchip. When the needle came out of his skin, the dog began to bleed. Yeah, that stressed me out some more. The volunteer saw the look of horror on my face and reassured me, "That rarely happens." The dog seemed ok, but no way was that going to happen to my fur baby.

When it was our turn, I just couldn't look. Gracie came out of her carrier and the vet tech took her by the scruff. She then pulled out a large needle. My jaw dropped. I pleaded to Jesse, "OH MY GOD. I can't look." I took one look at Gracie's clueless yet adorable face and turned away. I grabbed Jesse's arm and then I heard it. "MeOWWWW!" Gracie yelped. I squeezed Jesse's arm. It was almost as if I felt her pain.

I think that shot hurt me more than her.

By the time I turned back to look at Gracie, I had tears in my eyes. I'm not sure why I was crying. The vet tech and volunteer tried to comfort me. By the time we returned to the car, Jesse assured me that Gracie had probably forgotten the incident. In order to make it up to her, I kept offering Gracie her favorite treats--dried salmon.

Here we are, bonding.

When we got home, I was sure Gracie had forgotten the shot because she was her usual happy-go-lucky self in search of food. I'll get over the whole incident eventually.

But every time I remember her loud cry, my heart breaks all over again.

in defense of california

2008-05-16T16:57:00.001+01:00

I'm incredibly proud of being from California, but I feel as though I am constantly bombarded by events/people that bring shame to where I'm from. For example, that horrible show, The Hills (which I must admit to watching religiously). How a couple of talentless hacks can become incredibly rich and popular for doing absolutely nothing is beyond me. And I'm particularly offended by the douchiest douchebag ever, Spencer, who I am ashamed to admit was once a student at my collegiate alma mater.

But on a more serious note, I'm ashamed of things like Ahh-nold Schwarzenegger being elected TWICE. If the first term was a joke, the second term is definitely not funny. AND I'm ashamed of basic programs like Education getting cut so badly that my sister's school is laying off nearly half of its teaching staff so that classes can double in size. No child left behind? Oh, I see lots of kids getting left behind in California.

However, every once in a great while, Cali goes and does something that makes me smile, makes my heart swell, and almost makes me do a celebratory dance. And yesterday, that something was the California Supreme Court's decision that the banning of same-sex marriage is unconstitutional.

In 30 days (a delay due mostly to administrative, red tape stuff), the gays in Cali will be able to get married, a right that some straights take for granted but that most gays have been fighting for and denied in most other states (High five, Massachusetts). And this was my favorite part of the ruling yesterday:

...in contrast to earlier times, our state now recognizes that an individual's capacity to establish a loving and long-term committed relationship with another person and responsibly to care for and raise children does not depend upon the individual's sexual orientation, and, more generally, that an individual's sexual orientation — like a person's race or gender — does not constitute a legitimate basis upon which to deny or withhold legal rights.

Wait! So gays are just as human as the rest of us? No effin' way.

Seriously, this ruling is straight out of the Book of Duh, but maybe this just has to be stated somewhere in order for people to realize that every human/citizen is entitled to the same inalienable rights, including the right to marry. I don't understand why people are up in arms about this idea. Maybe someone can explain this to me (without the religious connotations as I am well aware that you don't need a church in order to get married in the eyes of the law).

I read in a poll this morning (that I am not able to reference now because I lost the link) that over 60% of people are upset with this ruling. Really? You know, peeps, there was a time when blacks were considered less than human. There was a time when African Americans were LEGALLY 3/5 of a citizen. Lo and behold, the government saw the error of their ways and now we all have the same rights (equal treatment under the law is a different story for a different blog post). I'm sure that one day (hopefully not too far in the future), our state and federal governments will come to realize that yes, we all are entitled to the same rights regardless of color, sex, AND sexual orientation.

Kudos to Cali for this landmark ruling. Yeah, I know it will probably be contested by the hardcore religious folks. But this is still the setting of a precedent, nonetheless.

And the best part (for all of you gays not living in Cali) about this ruling is that you don't have to be a California resident to get married there. If your state is treating you like a 4th class citizen and denying you the right to marry (and divorce), then here's your chance to escape. So hurry up and book your flights (I highly recommend JetBlue and Virgin America) and get hitched already!

I hear Cali is beautiful any time of year.

this post cannot convey the sadness i feel right now

2008-05-13T15:52:00.003+01:00

I was 15. I'm not sure how it all started---the collective family desire to have a dog. We were a cat family first. Right around the time our last kitty passed away, we realized that the neighborhood was changing and not necessarily for the better. For that reason, owning a dog became a good idea. So my mom gave her ok and the search for the perfect dog began.

Eventually, after a couple of disappointing trips to the animal shelter, we answered an ad from a woman selling her german shepherd puppies. By the time we got to her home, one puppy was left. She was the runt of the litter, but she was ours if we wanted her. The lady called for the dog and down the stairs she came. She was a round mass of fur literally rolling down the stairs. Clearly, the puppy was a bit overweight. But she was happy and playful and so sweet. It was love at first sight. I know that's a total cliche. But there's no other way to describe what we felt when that puppy entered out lives. She was so chubby and precious. So what if she was the runt of her litter? She was ours now.

Heidi seemed to be present during many of my life's significant turns. She consoled me whenever a boy broke my heart. She celebrated with me when I got a full scholarship to USC. She exercised with me when I was trying to get fit. The thing is, Heidi was always there, always willing to share in the emotion of the moment, wanting to be a part of something big. Strangely, she was perfectly in tune with my emotions and always wanted to lend a paw to help me in any way she could.

When I moved away for college, it was really hard to move away from her. When my friends weren't available, I went straight to Heidi with my problems and she would always listen with a sympathetic ear. Did she understand me? Probably not exactly. But somehow she knew when I was happy or sad and sometimes the understanding look in her eyes was all I needed to get through. She always let me know that I wasn't alone. And now, here I was, moving away from her. What if she forgot me? What if every time I came home we would need to be reacquainted?

From the first time I visited home after moving away to go to college to the present, Heidi has never forgotten me. Over the years, whenever I return from a long absence, I am greeted by her happily wagging tail. It actually makes me feel pretty good that she still hasn't forgotten about me, even after I moved all the way across the country and only visit about 3 times a year.

Over the last year or so, Heidi's health has been deteriorating. At this point, her arthritis is so bad, she can barely walk. She moves so slowly and painfully that it breaks my heart. This last trip home was the most difficult. I nearly cried when I saw her. She looked old and sick. Whenever I approached her, she would get up very, very slowly. Despite my insistence that she stay down and that I would come to her, she still had that puppy sparkle in her eye. I knew she was excited to see me and the pain in her legs was no match for the excitement in her heart.

Knowing that this was my last time with her, I said my goodbye before I left. It broke my heart to do so. I wanted to be with her until the end. Somehow, I think this farewell was better for us. I did my best not to cry and instead pretended that this goodbye was like any other. I scratched and petted her until her heart was content. I offered her some treats, which she greedily took from my hands. When she became distracted, I walked away and didn't look back. This wasn't the way I wanted to remember her--the happy puppy imprisoned by her failing body.

What I'll remember is all the times she was there for me, all the walks we took, all of the games of fetch we played. I'll remember the tail that whipped around like crazy whenever I came home. I'll remember her cute puppy breath and her stinky adult doggie breath (which I was still strangely drawn to). I'll remember how she loved to hog my bed no matter how big she got. And I'll always remember the excited look in her eyes whenever we were together.

Good night, sweet Heidi-pup. May you have sweet dreams of chasing kitties and opossums forever.

fun fabulous frisky furry feline friday

2008-05-09T19:09:00.002+01:00

I'm happy to report that the kitties are finally getting along. I thought that day would never come. It's so odd how one day two terribly belligerent kitties can suddenly start being nice to one another.

That's not to say that they didn't get any help in this process. One Feliway diffuser and lots of Rescue Remedy drops later, the two kitties are playing with each other and the hissing has completely stopped. And now I can say with much confidence that having two kitties is the best thing ever!

Cats have personalities. Who knew? Not only that, but two cats with seemingly opposite personalities can totally get along.

Take my household for example.

As you know, this is Dominick (aka Dom, Nicky, Nicky Poo, Stinky*, Stinky Booty*, Cutie Pie and Kitty One).

He is:

Older and twice Gracie's size.
Very vocal. Loves to talk and have conversations with his mommy and daddy.
Cries all the time for attention. Cries LOUDLY and INCESSANTLY when hungry.
Cannot resist the allure of the laser pointer.
Can't jump on counter tops (thank God).
Can aim correctly in the litter box.
A little wussy. Tends to cry and run away after getting hit by Gracie.
Can fetch but is easily distracted from returning the ball.
Affectionate when he wants to be.
Can stand being held for longer than two minutes.
Picks at his food during the day.
A fan of hiding in closets.
Can't help but escape every time we open the front door.
Very, very patient with Mommy and Daddy, and especially with Daddy who makes him do some silly things sometimes.
Has ADD, which is probably my fault because he has so many toys.
A Do-er, not a Thinker. He acts on impulse. How do I know this? By the way he instantly hunts his teasers or toy mice as soon as they are dangled in front of him.

Now I know you've only met her once, but here is Gracie (aka Gracie Poo, Stinky*, Sweetie Pie, Kitty Two).

Gracie is:

Super quiet. When she actually speaks, it comes out as more of a peep than a meow. It's really cute actually.
Only cries when hungry or when Mommy and Daddy finally get home.
A total Diva and Alpha Cat. Don't ask me how it is that the female, younger kitty is now running the household.
Knows she's cute and definitely tries to use it to her advantage.
Always affectionate.
Very good at turning on the charm when we're in the kitchen because she thinks she is going to get some scraps or leftovers (umm...no hooman food fer yoo).
Can jump onto counter tops (bad kitty!)
Resists the laser pointer for a few minutes before she decides to start chasing it because she can't help herself.
Cannot always aim into the litter box. Sometimes forgets to cover her mess.
Can only be held for less than 60 seconds before getting squirmy.
Inhales her food at every meal.
Growls when I don't let her eat Nicky's food. Actually, she basically growls when she doesn't get her way.
Very regular. I honestly don't think she can become constipated, even if she tries.
Willing to put anything in her mouth if she thinks it's food, like buttons or bobby pins.
A total thinker. Very rarely acts on impulse. She first figures out whether it is in her best interest to play/chase/pounce before doing so.

So yeah, if you have a kitty and you're contemplating getting another one, I highly recommend it. It's so much more fun with two!

*DISCLAIMER: Ok, so our kitties aren't really smelly. They actually get regular baths and wipe downs with cleaning cloths. They just tend to look for some love and attention immediately after using the litter box. And let's just say, they don't smell so fresh when they're fresh from the litter box.