Hello Internet

Xmas Television - ALF

2009-12-07T18:37:00.000-08:00

ALF is yet another 1980s television phenomenon that I think you kind of had to be there for to really understand how popular and great this show was, because if you saw it for the first time in 2009 it would probably just look like some kind of bizarro sitcom that starred a midget that left his Ewok costume out in the sun too long.

The ALF series began when an alien named Gordon Shumway crashed into the garage of the Tanner family. Willy, the father, calls Gordon ALF, Alien Life Form. Gordon's home Planet Melmac exploded, so the Tanner family take him in, and save him from having horrible government experiments done on him because they are total left wing pinkos. I miss left wing pinko sitcoms. When I was growing up it seemed that most of the moralistic views of sitcoms were aimed at fighting the system and being good to people. Every series had its own anti-homophobia or 'dealing with our drugged out uncle' episode, and all the morals seemed to stem from a semi-conservative but still very left bent. Now sitcoms seem to just go for the laughs and I'm unsure of what they're political views are. I guess Charlie Sheen is a male chauvantist in Two and a Half Men, and he's the star. What does that mean? Does it mean anything at all? BAH! I'm starting to sound like more of a wanker than usual, so let's just move on.

There was a Xmas episode in season 1 of ALF which was nice enough, but season 2 had it's very own movie length special:

Willy drives the family to a cabin that he stayed in as a kid when his family was poor.

Willy still knows the kind owner and he has given the Tanner's the keys so they can stay there this Xmas, out in the sticks.

ALF is horrified that there is no electricity because he can't watch television. Instead he opens all of the Xmas presents. Kate catches him wearing Willy's sweater that she was going to give Willy on Xmas day, there is a big fight, and ALF is sent outside.

George Foley, the owner of the cabin, rolls up to see how the Tanner's are doing and tells them that he's on his way to dress up as Santa and give all the sick kids in the hospital some toys. ALF jumps into the back of Foley's truck to see the toy stash, and ends up being driven away to the hospital. He avoids detection by pretending to be a toy. Jokes about how ugly he is ensue.

I have to apologise for these tiny pictures. I've been screen capping the dvds for these Xmas posts, but the ALF dvds are are different region to the player in my computer, and I am technically retarded in some areas, so the tiny pics that google gave me is what we have to work with.

SO, this little girl named Tiffany get ALF and she thinks that he is a girl doll so she calls him Amanda. She dresses him up as a girl and she's so very lonely and sick. ALF stays completely still the whole time, until he is about to get his ears pierced, at which time he begins to speak and tells Amanda the truth.

Amanda and ALF have a nice little heart to heart and then Amanda agrees to help ALF get home by swapping him with another toy on the Santa cart. ALF overhears Foley speaking to a doctor who says that Tiffany will probably not live to see another Christmas. ALF sneaks back to Tiffany's room and they have long conversation about death and loss, and ALF stays with her until she falls asleep, and then sneaks out of the room, complete with a tear in his eye.

THANKS ALF! I'M CRYING!!!! A LOT!!!! MERRY FREAKING XMAS TO YOU TOO!!!!!

Then it just goes from sad to mega sad. While ALF is escaping he ends up trapped in an elevator alone with a woman who is giving birth, so ALF delivers the baby. The mother wants to know what to name their new little girl, and ALF suggests the name "Tiffany".

AWWW MAAAAN! I'M CRYING AGAINN!!!!!!!!! YOU SUCK BALLS ALF!

ALF finally gets back to the toy cart just in time and Foley packs him back into his truck and drives off. On the way home he stops at a bridge. The old guy's wife just died, so he's given away all his possessions and money and he's going to kill himself by jumping off the bridge. ALF gets out of the truck in a Santa costume and talks Foley out of it with yet another super heart to heart cry moment.

ALF!!!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!??!?! IT'S XMAS!!!! I'm SUPPOSED TO BE FILLED WITH CHEER YOU ASSHOLE!!

ALF gets back to the Tanners, and then in the final scene the Tanners go and visit Tiffany on Xmas day. ALF can't go inside, although he snuck in fine as a toy the day before, so Tiffany and ALF have a mega sad wave through the window.

UGH! Talk about a depressing TV special. It's all nice and touching, but it's also mega sad! The 1980s were a strange time to be watching television.

Next, yet another example of strange '80s gold: The REAL Ghostbusters!

Xmas Television - He-Man She-Ra - A Christmas Special

2009-12-06T18:15:00.000-08:00

If you didn't grow up in the 1980s or you aren't some kind of huge nerd, then you possiblt haven't heard of He-Man and She-Ra. He-Man and the Masters of the Universe was a cartoon that sold scantily clad toys to children. The show was a huge money-making machine, and so a spin-off series was created: She-Ra: Princess of Power. She-Ra was He-Man's long lost twin sister who lived in another dimension with a whole new gang of buddies and bad guys. Both shows used a lot of cheap animation and continually re-used footage from previous episodes. Classic dodgy stuff.

He-Man showed up on She-Ra pretty regularly, but the Christmas special was the first time we got to see all the characters of both worlds interact, and the outcome is almost completely unwatchable, of course.

It all begins with a bunch of the characters decorating for He-Man and She-Ra's birthday party. It seems they had so many characters and nothing to do with them, so they all paint stars on the walls and put up streamers.

Man-at-Arms and Prince Adam (aka He-Man) are busy putting the finishing touches on some kind of rocket. The troublesome Orko sneaks into the cockpit and accidentally switches the rocket on.

"I've got a feeling I'm in big trouble"...

Cue the opening credits:

Orko ends up zapping himself onto Earth somehow, and finds two kids who are lost in the woods. Instead of being horrified by a faceless floating creature with a high pitched voice, they get on his spaceship with him and tell him all about Xmas.

"You don't know what Christmas is?!?", the presumptious little twerps say. They then go on to explain the Jesus Xmas story and the story of Santa Claus, but we only catch the beginnings and endings of their stories. I have a feeling that children from many cultures probably watched this crap, so they avoided being completely offensive to kids who didn't celebrate Xmas by skirting around the whole thing.

They also sing "Jingle Bells", but perhaps they were afraid of paying for copyright because they sing it "Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells"... what?? The soundtrack is also tinged with hints of Xmas carols, but never the whole thing. Cheapskates.

She-Ra and He-Man head off to try and find Orko and the missing spacecraft. There's also some kind of quest for a crystal involved, but I didn't really understand what that was all about. She-Ra runs into some large purple robots who call themselves Monstroids.

The Monstroids start to "transform", like certain other popular animated robots in the 1980s, and Swift Wind, She-Ra's talking horse, says, "They're changing into other forms! What evil robots". Let me show you this "transformation".

I think the quality of that half-assed attempt at cashing in on the Transformers pretty much sums up everything I love about He-Man and She-Ra.

Some other robots show up, but they are friendly robots called the Manchines. They look and sound like cheap and nasty Smurf knock-offs, and they somehow defeat these enormous robots with ease.

It's in this special that I was first introduced to the character Horde Prime. Horde Prime is only ever seen surrounded by smoke, with his enormous mechanical hand occasionally popping out to smash the ground in rage. Horde Prime notices "a new spirit of goodness" on Eternia. "The power of Horde Prime may be threatened" by the Xmas spirit of two children, so Prime sends for Skeletor and Hordak and tells them to abduct these children.

Hordak has them for a brief moment, before Skeletor takes them off his hands. This special contains some of Skeletor's all time low moments, but it's also great for the laughs.

Instead of destroying the little dog that the children have with them, Skeletor carries it and lets it lick his skull face.

The children discuss Xmas with Skeletor:

kid: "well, it's a wonderful time of the year. Everyone has lots of fun".

Skeletor: "You mean they get in fights?"

kid: "No! No! They have fun!"

Skeletor: "Fights are fun. I like fights."

Apparently the scary skull faced killer Skeletor becomes Oscar the Grouch at Xmas time.

Instead of giving the children to Horde Prime, Skeletor helps He-Man and She-Ra to save the little brats. He starts to feel "good" and he doesn't like it. The Xmas spirit has taken over Skeletor.

She-Ra: "Don't worry Skeletor. Xmas only comes once a year".

Skeletor: "Ugh! Thanks goodness!"

Everyone: "hahahahahahaha"

Skeletor gets shamed. Merry Xmas.

Using some kind of amazing device, Man-At-Arms zaps the children back home again, and we get to see their parents.

I didn't realise Audrey Hepburn married Mario and had kids.

Instead of fretting over their missing children and being amazed that they just happened to appear in the lounge room one day, they tell the kids to stop telling their crazy Eternia BS stories and go to bed because Xmas is tomorrow. The kids prove their dumb parents wrong by flying past using their 'flying belts', presents from Man-At-Arms.

He-Man always had some lame 'moral of the day' segment at the end of the show. The moral of the Xmas episode? Not everyone celebrates Xmas, but we all have the Xmas spirit of love or something...... I don't know either.

Let me leave you with one last image. This is possibly the greatest Xmas image to ever grace mankind/the internet:

An enormously muscled man with a mechanical elephant head, using his trunk to put the star on top of the xmas tree. There is a god, and he is 1980s American animation.

Next Xmas post? Alf!

Week 12 of 52

2009-12-02T22:58:00.000-08:00

New comics vid

2009-12-02T06:54:00.000-08:00

...now with pop-up ADS!!! I'm not getting any money from these ads so I have no idea why they are there, but whatever.

jej

Xmas Television - The Simpsons

2009-12-01T19:42:00.000-08:00

December is upon us once again. For Australians this means that summer is upon us so it is time to put on some shorts and hit the beaches. It's time to put up the Xmas tree and drive around to look at all the enormous houses covered in pretty festive lights. It's time to pull out the candles that you haven't looked at since last year, wrap them in those little paper cup things, and go and sing carols with the kiddies and Santa Claus at some oval somewhere.

It also means that we'll be watching a bunch of television that assumes we are living in snow and celebrating Xmas with a hot turkey dinner. I really dig Xmas specials, especially the bad ones, so this year I will be posting a short series of rants about different television Xmas specials, beginning with The Simpsons.

Unlike Halloween, Xmas does not occur every year in Springfield, but there have still been multiple Xmas episodes. (I realise there was no Halloween episode in Season One, but you get the idea). Bart burned down the tree and we saw the goodness of the people in Springfield; Bart stole a video game and we saw him win over his Mum's heart again by doing something sweet; but I will ignore these episodes and speak about the one Xmas special that I've seen more times than any other: the very first episode of The Simpsons to air: "Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire".

For those of us who didn't watch or have the chance to watch the Tracey Ullman Show we didn't know who the Simpsons were before this Xmas episode, so this festive goodness acted as an introduction.

The story begins with Homer, Marge, and Maggie attending the Springfield Elementary Annual Talent Show. Bart is introduced when we see him singing Batman lyrics to "Jingle Bells", along with strange versions of Milhouse, and some other bizarro looking characters whose faces were never seen again.

Lisa is introduced in a "Santas From Around the World" performance, and her costume is uncomfortably slight:

Some of the characterisations in the early episodes don't quite look like the way we know and love these characters now. Homer Simpson has a tad of stupidity about him, but mostly he is just angry and sad all the time. The rest of the Simpson family functions in much the same way, and the Ned Flanders/Homer relationship is set-up perfectly in this episode. Flanders is wealthy and nice, which infuriates Homer and makes him mad, jealous, and competitive. Flander's bright extravangent Xmas lights shine on the sad face of Homer and his loser family:

The Simpsons go Xmas shopping together, and Bart wants to impress him Mum by getting a tattoo. This whole 'naughty but nice' kid thing that Bart continually repeats begins here:

A laser tattoo removal uses up all the Xmas money, and Homer doesn't get his Xmas bonus from the stingy Mr. Burns. Homer gets a second job working as Santa Claus in a shopping mall to help pay for Xmas presents:

"Merrie X-mas"??? I've never seen 'Merry' spelled like that, and I've never seen 'Xmas' spelled with a hyphen. Anyhow, angry Homer picks up his Santa cheque on Xmas eve and it's very small, so he follows his drunken mate Barney to the dog track to try and win some money. The dog loses abysmally, but Homer and Bart take the dog home and Xmas is saved. YAY!

Over the credits we can hear the family singing Xmas carols. Bart and Lisa keep singing funny lyrics while Homer gets mad, but there is a touch of the stupid Homer that we are so familiar with: "Rudolph, get your nose over here, so you can ride my sleigh today". HAH!

The animation is nowhere near as slick as it would become, the voices are all a little off, but it's nice to go back and watch this one. When I first saw it I was instantly impressed. This was the first time that I had seen a prime-time animated show that was breaking conventions of a supposed 'Christmas Special', or even of a sitcom. It was animated, but not necessarily for kids, the family was worried about money, the Dad was angry, the kids were naughty; it was new and great. Now it's 2009 and this kind of thing is far from being 'cutting edge', but it's nice to remember that it once was.

Next Xmas post: He-Man!!!

Talking about something.....

2009-11-26T06:05:00.000-08:00

Comics

Week 11 of 52

2009-11-26T00:56:00.001-08:00

Piracy Mix 2009

2009-11-24T01:38:00.000-08:00

I haven't done one of these in a looooong time, so for those of you who love to look at lists of songs, here is another super dooper mix. This time every track was released in this blessed year of 2009.

1 - tomas ford - bash myself
2 - Tegan and Sara - Don't Rush
3 - Silversun Pickups - Panic Switch
4 - Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Heads Will Roll
5 - Regina Spektor - Eet
6 - Bill Callahan - My Friend
7 - M. Ward - For Beginners
8 - Flight of the Conchords - Hurt Feelings
9 - Scarface - Soldier Story (The Product featuring Z-Ro)
10 - Sarah Blasko - Bird on a Wire
11 - Air - So Light Is Her Footfall
12 - Mayer Hawthorne - A Strange Arrangement
13 - Rick Ross - Maybach Music 2 (Feat. T.Pain, Lil' Wayne and Kanye West)
14 - Bishop Allen - Dimmer
15 - Howling Bells - Treasure Hunt
16 - MF Doom - Gazillion Ear
17 - Isis - Ghost Key
18 - Antony and the Johnsons - Kiss My Name
19 - Prefuse 73 - Punish
20 - Immortal - Hordes To War

WOOT!

jej

Horror Moofies - and week 10 of 52

2009-11-22T09:42:00.000-08:00

University classes are finally over for the year, I was involved in a Shakespeare production that is over and done with, and I ended the week by handing in my last assignments and sitting an exam. I am now officially on holidays (from university anyway).

After a couple of drinks and eats with some friends I came home to find my wife was asleep, so I took advantage of having some waking hours to kill by watching Paranormal Activity. It is now 1:50AM and I don't really want to go straight to bed just yet, so I'll use this oppurtunity to rant a little about some horror films that I've seen recently.

Firstly, Final Destination 3D. I was a fan of the first 3 films, and I re-watched 2 and 3 before heading out to see this one. 2 is definitely the best one. There is an early scene in Final Destination 2 where the audience is given a series of 'almost deaths', and then finally the death pay-off is hilarious and disgusting.

The premise of the latest installment is exactly the same, and I'm fine with that, but I honestly feel like the film-makers focussed on all the mega sweet 3D elements and forgot how to make a movie that isn't completely retarded. I honestly got a little bored watching this, and it's in 3D!!! The gore is high, and some of the effects were pretty sweet, but it just lacks something that the first 3 films had in spades. I'm not sure what exactly, but it just wasn't a great movie.

The completely ludicrous 'death-by-an-escalator' scene was probably the highlight for me. Also, Shantel VanSanten of One Tree Hill's current and worst season ever starred in it. Woot hooot!

NEXT!

I saw trailers and posters for Orphan, and despite having a pretty decent cast it still looked like a total snooze-fest. Then David and Margaret said it was great, so I had to check it out. This was a really well made horror film. Without spoiling it, I can say that it isn't some supernatural bla bla bla, which is what put me off watching it in the first place. It's really eery and tense, and the ending is probably the best and most logical that I've seen in a long time. I can't really say more than that without spoiling it, but if you like horror films or thrillers in any way then I say check this one out.

Michael Dougherty may have written X2 but he also wrote Superman Returns, which was possibly the worst re-launch of a superhero franchise ever. He looked sweet, but a love triangle that went nowhere... and a kid???!??? Whatever. He also has writing credits on Urban Legends 3 on his resume; which I watched completely alone in a huge cinema in at 4 in the afternoon and loved. Those movies were great! Who's with me?

Trick r' Treat is an old-school Creepshow style horror film written and directed by Dougherty, and I honestly think he could have a long living movie franchise on his hands. I've watched this twice now, and I know I'll watch it a few more times in the near future. It's not a straight forward set number of tales. There a little links between them, and they all weave into one another in clever linking ways. It's not really scary or anything, but it has that great 1980s Tales From The Crypt feel to it, and some really odd twists. Great stuff.

It's been a looooong time since I saw the original Last House on the Left; so long that I'm not even 100% sure that I've seen it at all. The remake, however pointless it was, could have been worse. It's uncomfortable viewing, the acting is all fine; I thought it wasn't bad at all. At least it wasn't as ridiculously gratuitous as the Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake. Ugh. I still get pissed off when I think about how bad that movie was. I don't know why. Who the hell cares?

NEXT!

Cry_Wolf is a modern-day horror movie style re-telling of that stupid moralistic tale of the boy who cried wolf. Well, not really. There is a lot of texting, instant messaging, and internet bla bla bla going on, but when it was all over I was little confused to be honest. I didn't get to see anyone die, the red-headed 'evil' chick somehow masterminded random occurences from happening, and Bon Jovi was a teacher???? What the hell is going on?? Also, I got to stare at this chumps face for an entire movie:

Ah, Jared Padalecki..... I really don't get it. Perhaps it's because I have a penis.

NEXT!

You've probably seen the trailers and heard all about Paranormal Activity so I won't get into the bla bla bla about how cheap it was and all of this. I'll just tell you what I thought of the film.

It wasn't groundbreaking in any way and there were moments where I would have liked a little more depth to the characters, and maybe some kind of commentary, if done subtly, on media and identity through the media lens and that sort of thing, but this isn't that sort of movie. The movie sets out to look authentically real and scare the crap out of the viewer, and I think it succeeds pretty fantastically at both of these things. It almost oversteps my enjoyment level of 'there are supernatural things going on because bla bla bla ooooooooo' but thankfully any discussions of this kind are cut short just shy of being too boring for me. The scariest scenes look like this:

...and maybe a door closes or something, but because it seems like the whole thing is real, it's really creepy. I think the finale could have been handled better and been much creepier than it was, but it still didn't ruin what was a really scary movie. Making the whole thing seem real and having the scariest moments happen while the characters sleep was a genius move. Good stuff.

...and here's this weeks moofie:

Now I have to try and go to sleep. I think I'll be fine. That's all folks.

jej

Your Mother was a hamster...

2009-11-11T21:24:00.001-08:00

Sam Kieth and the guitarist from Anthrax made a comic book

2009-11-11T07:25:00.000-08:00

Comics bla

2009-11-07T18:44:00.001-08:00

Jet Jaguar and Co

2009-11-04T14:01:00.001-08:00

This week's moofie

2009-10-31T09:22:00.001-07:00

A comic vid of sorts

2009-10-31T08:58:00.001-07:00

Life Bla

2009-10-30T01:26:00.000-07:00

Hey all,

Just a quick bla to let you know that I still exist. I've hammered my internet this month, and so there is a clear lack of videos this week, but they will be uploaded on Sunday when the clock ticks over and I have regular internet speeds again.

University classes are coming to a close. Next week is the last week of classes, which means it is also the last bit of time I have left to finish assignments and that kind of thing. I think I've got it covered, but it's going to be a bit of a hammer fest.

Then Sunday I begin preps for a Shakespeare play that I'm involved in:

Master Of The Revels: An Elizabethan Interlude

Showcasing Shakespeare's Comedy 'Twelfth Night: or What You Will' (By Murdoch Uni Students)

Start Time:	Wednesday, 11 November 2009 at 19:30
End Time:	Saturday, 14 November 2009 at 22:30
Location:	Nexus Theatre: Murdoch University
Street:	South Street Campus, South Street
Town/City:	Murdoch, Australia

Description

This year's Murdoch University Shakespeare production in Nexus Theatre by Theatre and Drama students promises a lively performance of this delightful Shakespearean comedy.

Please come and watch to see the journey of the characters in Illyria as well as the stylings of the Revels...

Devised and Directed by Jenny De Reuck with consultation from Melissa Merchant, Andrew Kocsis and Murali Pillai.

Performances will be held at 7:30pm on November 11th to 14th. (With secondary school performances at 10:30am on each day)

Tickets: Bookings ($10 per ticket) can be made by contacting Janet Payne who can be contacted during office hours on 08 9360 2504; email: j.payne@murdoch.edu.au

http://www.murdochtheatre.com/

I will be playing guitar for this rollocking romp, so come along. The tix are only 10 bux! DO IT!

In other news, if any of you have noticed the lack of book club postings on here it's because it's died in the butt a little bit. There were a couple that I didn't really record properly (on paper and on here, that is) and there were a couple where only Noelene and I sat and talked about books. This is fine, and if it comes down to it we will continue to do so, but we want to try and re-launch the club again to encourage more people to attend. We also kind of missed the clubs 1 year celebrations, SO this December come over and celebrate the 1 year celebrations and athe re-launch with us. No fixed book for December's club; just bring what you've read in the last couple of months to chat about and we'll eat Xmasy grub.

It will be held on the second Tuesday of December at our place; 7pm. Be there ;)

In other inane news, I've also been playing a lot of Ultimate Alliance 2 which is a fantastic nerd game, reading a lot of comic books, and I've almost finished viewing both Degrassi High and The Sopranos. YEAH!

Now for this:

USING ONLY ONE WORD! It's not as easy as you might think! Copy and change the answers to suit you and pass it on. It's really hard to only use one word answers. Be sure to tag the person you received it from! (tagging aside, this is from Mr Scott Miner :) )

1. Where is your mobile phone? Lounge

2. Your significant other? Noelene

3. Your hair? Greasy

4. Your mother? Albany

5. Your father? Albany

6. Your favourite thing? Sex

7. Your dream last night? Strange

8. Your favorite drink? Coffee

9. Your dream/goal? Graduation

10. What room you are in? Spare

11. Your hobby? Reading

12. Your fear? Death

13. Where do you want to be in 6 years? House

14. Where were you last night? Cafe

16. Muffins? No

17. Wish list item? PS3

18. Where you grew up? Rockingham

19. Last thing you did? Type

20. What are you wearing? Little

21. Your TV? Heavy

22. Your pet? Non-existant

23. Friends? Please

24. Your life? Continuing

25. Your mood? Chilled

26. Missing someone? Yes

27. Car? Bus

28. Something you're not wearing? Shoes

29. Your favorite store? Comiczone

30. Your favorite color? Red

33. When is the last time you laughed? Today

34. Last time you cried? Tuesday

35. One thing you're not? Efficient

36. One place that you go to over and over? Toilet

37. One person who emails me regularly? Kate

38. My favorite place to eat? Hoi's

39. Why you participated in this survey? Unknown

40. What are you doing tonight? Eating

...and that's that. Hope you are all having a tops time of it.

jej

Moofies - Up, Fighting, Moon, Whatever Works, G.I.Joe

2009-10-21T19:39:00.000-07:00

Hey kiddies. Here's my new tatt:

Okay, on with the moofies:

Up is the latest Pixar film, and I think that this, along with Wall - E is their best work yet. They seem to have perfected the art of condensing totally likeable characters into a very short period of time. I was crying within the first 10 minutes. It's just this beautiful, smart, really well designed film. Awesome.

Next up, Fighting.

I came to this film expecting a fun, crappy, teen flick about fighting; something similar to Never Back Down. What I ended up getting was this really well acted thing that I didn't expect at all. It still has a pretty straight forward predictable storyline about a guy who fights for money finding love and friends, bla, bla, bla, but all the performances were pretty convincing. Even Channing 'boofhead' Tatum here got me into the story a little. This wasn't amazing, but it wasn't bad at all.

Moon is the first feature film from Duncan Jones, son of David Bowie. This began a discussion between my brother and I about whether or not there are some kind of artistic genes or predispositions or something in certain families that mean a similar sort of creative spark or whatever. I think that surroundings probably has more to do with creativity than anything else, but just by having a famous father does not necessarily mean that the work of the kid will be similar. I can see similarities between the work of David Lynch and Jennifer Lynch, but if I didn't know they were related I would never even think to compare their films because they are not really that similar.

Anyway, BLAH! How is the film? It feels like an old school science fiction film from the 1970s. It's kind of slow and measured and pretty much stars Sam Rockwell alone, and Kevin Spacey as the voice of a robot. Rockwell is working a 3 year stint on the moon, all alone, and then he sees something strange. I won't wreck this for you, like the trailer kind of did, but the twists are not all that important. I figured out what was going on extremely quickly, but it was still nice to see it played out in a way that respected my intelligence. It's a low budget thing, but this meant that it had to be smart to represent what could have been high budget ideas. I think not seeing something but just having it hinted at means that it feels more realistic, more believable. It also takes the focus away from the spectacle ane more towards the ideas and the importance of being human, bla, bla, bla. It's a top film.

Whatever Works sees Larry David take the role that Woody Allen would normally play in his own films. It's no surprise that David pulls it off really well. He's being doing an extremely similar thing to Allen for years, so now he finally plays him. Woody Allen films are pretty ridiculous, but I think that they're likeable anyway. Despite being pretty retarded, the whole 'message' of the film is that if you can find love then take it. 'Whatever works', no matter how strange or whatever, just go with it. It's kind of nice I guess.

One more, G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra is the latest piece of crap from Stephen Sommers. Sommers is to blame for all those terrible Mummy films and the worst travesty of recent cinema history Van Helsing. I think Sommers knows he's making crap films and he just wants to make something fun, but he goes way too far for me normally and I just can't go there. For whatever reason, I could with G.I. Joe. It's not a good film at all, but I enjoyed every second. It's impossible to get bored; there aren't any embarrassingly bad performances from people like David Wenham; the special effects are really decent; there are stupidly buxomy hot babes throughout the film; and most importantly, the plot is simple and easy to follow. I HATE the stupid Transformers movies, mostly because they could at least be fun, but they have these overly complicated plots that don't make any sense and are impossible to follow. At least G.I. Joe is just 'they bad. we good. we kill the bad guys'. It's so basic and fun.

That's it.

jej

fifty two moofies - Week 6

2009-10-21T19:02:00.000-07:00

Some more comic book blab

2009-10-16T22:23:00.001-07:00

fifty two moofies - Week 5

2009-10-14T16:49:00.001-07:00

This week's nerd rant

2009-10-08T19:22:00.000-07:00

Moofies - Week 4 of 52 and some others

2009-10-08T00:43:00.000-07:00

G'day all. Here is week 4 of 52 moofies.

I've also watched some other films that I wanted to blab about a little, so here goes.

First up, Funny People.

Judd Apatow makes funny comedy/drama movies with likeable characters, and I think this is another one. It's pretty long and could have dragged, but it had me for the whole 2 or so hours. The premise is that George Simmons (Adam Sandler) finds out that he's going to die. Simmons is a famous comedian who has a series of family movies that are strangely convincing. Simmons hires good old Seth Rogan to be his helper man and keep him company. Simmons is also trying ot get back with his ex, who is now married to Eric Bana and has a family. The conclusion will probably piss a lot of people off, but I thought it was nicely realistic. I was surprised at how much I got into this. Apatow is awesome.

Scooby Doo - The Mystery Begins is a live action prequel of the Scooby story. It's a straight to video kiddy film, but I liked it a lot. There's no Matthew Lillard as Shaggy (which was pretty awesome) and the guy playing Fred isn't even trying, but this was more like Scooby than both the cinema released films that came out. It explains why this group of stereotypes all ends up being friends and trying to solve crimes together, and it's both ludicrous and it strangely makes sense. If you're a scooby fan then check this out. If not, then why would you anyway? It's a straight to DVD piece of junk.

We just finished re-watching the Alien quadrilogy. I hadn't seen any of these for a long time, so it was fun to return to what used to scare the pants off me. The first one is pretty classy, the second one is freaking fantastic, the third one has it's creepy moments but a few retarded one-liners and too much angsty gritty talk wreck it a bit, and the fourth one is kind of strange and doesn't really make sense, but after watching the first three I just sort of went along with it anyway. I love how the first two films are so serious and the alien designs are still super creepy. I have yet to troll through all of the multiple extras and commentaries, but I will. Also, the director's cut of Aliens is fantastic. James Cameron's cut of Terminator 2 blows, but the extra scenes in Aliens are awesome. You get to see Newt with her family and see how the base runs when there are people living in it and everything isn't destroyed. There's also a lot more at the beginning when Ripley returns. It makes the running time pretty long, but I think it's totally worth it.

Just a couple more. Firstly, Year One.

Just like Ice Age, apparently having any kind of factualness in films about the past doesn't matter if you're just playing it for laughs. It's fine, I guess, but I still think it's odd that if something happened pre-20th century then it all kind of gets lumped together. Anyway, I laughed a couple of times. This was likeable enough I suppose, but it was pretty far from being a good movie. A lot of the jokes just fell flat. I also watched Dance Flick recently. There were a bunch of black stereotype jokes that made me laugh, but there were these strangely mean, unfunny jokes concerning a young baby. I can take a joke, even one that is extremely wrong and distasteful, but seeing lame ass jokes about a child being mistreated kind of put me in a strange mood. Blech.

Last up, the 'new' Larry Clark film Wassup Rockers.

I don't know why, but this 2005 film didn't get a release in Australia (as far as I know) until this year. Anyway, Larry Clark is someone who I'm still not sure about, and I don't think I ever will be. All of his films are concerned with teens getting drunk and having sex. Is he artistic or just a pervert who is into nude teens? Who know? I like his films anyway. He seems to do that Gus Van Sant thing and get kids who aren't really acting all that much. It means that the performances are all a bit awkward, but they also seem more authentic. Wassup Rockers is about a bunch of guys who skate and play in a punk rock band together. It's this crazy mix of serious-ish conversations about life and that sort of thing, mixed with a skate video, mixed with Larry Clark trying to be all edgy, mixed with a fun time teen romp or something. I think you will either love this or despise it. I liked it.

That's it!

jej

Hey Hey Urghhhhh

2009-10-07T22:40:00.000-07:00

I got bored of Hey Hey when it was on the first time, and now it's back and it only took them 2 seconds to do something retarded. Channel 9 is wierd. They have Underbelly, a show about a case that is still currently in court; they have the boy's club wierdness of The Footy Show; they have Eddie Macguire, who is just a scary, scary man, and then this. Who thought this would be okay to air? ...and with the added Kamahl jokes? This is retarded socially acceptable racism in all it's glory. I didn't see this when it was on, but thankfully someone posted it on youtube so I could see the trainwreck for myself, and so can you. It's also followed by good old Daryl with his dumbass retraction apology junk. Awkward comedy gold.

Please, please let Hey Hey leave us for good this time.

jej

AOTW - Mayer Hawthorne - A Strange Arrangement

2009-10-03T19:40:00.000-07:00

Heya.

I haven't really been listening to a lot of new music at all. I made an all 1980s mp3 player for my birthday partaay and I haven't stopped listening to it since then. It's just been all Smiths, Cure, and other '80s downer music that I know almost all the words to for the last month or so, and it's been great. I love that stuff.

Anyhow, I did win a new CD from RTRFM the other day, and I've given it a couple of listens. I have no idea who Mayer Hawthorne is or what he's about, but this album is pretty nice. It sounds like a motown album or something. Great backing vocals and smooth dancy tunes. I'm digging it.

That's it.

jej

Telly - Flashforward, Melrose Place, One Tree Hill, Hungrybeast

2009-10-01T17:56:00.000-07:00

Oooooo. It's a mystery.

Big 'event' TV is pretty entertaining stuff. The premise, if you haven't already had it rammed down your throat by advertising, is that for a couple of minutes every person on the planet blacked out. During the blackout they all had dreamlike visions of existing in April 2010; a kind of flash forward if you will.... Woooooah. It's a big budget thing, co-written and directed by David S. Goyer, and it was pretty edge-of-your-seat stuff. As soon as the episode started you could tell that every single thing you were seeing was some kind of setup or clue for what was to come. The dreamy flashforward sequences all contain a bunch of mysterious clues. It's Lost all over again. I just hope that Flashforward doesn't drag itself out for more than one or two seasons. I think a story like this is best told quickly, before we all get bored and realise that the show writers don't really know where the story is headed and are dragging it out for ratings sake

I gave up on Lost a long time ago and then found out that Brian K. Vaughan, a comic book writer that I really like, became a writer on the show, so I guess I have a bunch of catching up watching to do.

One last thing about Flashforward. I was so sure that Seth McFarlane, the man behind Family Guy, was in Flashforward. He's on screen and I'm all 'What the hell is going on? Is that Seth McFarlane trying to be serious??'. His imdb page doesn't credit him as being in this, but then I found this video.

EMBED-Family Guy Creator in ABC Show - Watch more free videos

Turns out I'm not the only one wierded out by this.

Next up, Melrose Place. This is fantastic.

There are a few old character cronies that have returned to the series, which is a must for a revamped remake. Then there are the 'new' characters. These characters are basically replacements for the old characters. We've got Ellla, who is the all new, younger version of Heather Locklear. We've got Jonah, the aspiring film maker with a heart of gold, who is the new version of Billy. I don't think I need to go on.

It's pretty interesting to see how stereotypes have changed over a decade or so. There are heaps of similarities but a few little differences in appearance and 'acceptable' attitudes that plant this new version firmly in 2009.

Anyway, how is the show? It's got all the things that made Melrose so much fun to watch in the '90s so it's awesome. There's a murder mystery plot; there's the inevitable love triangle, quadtriangle garbage going on; there are characters with mysterious pasts and mysterious motives; and then there's the prostitute doctor:

This girl is Australian (in real life, not in the show) and her character's father has lost his job due to these harsh economic times and can't afford to keep paying to put her daughter through med school. What is she going to do???? I know! She can sell her body for sex and make money!

Here's a clip from Season 2 of Melrose:

It's practically the EXACT SAME PLOT!!!!!
Great plot. Great show.

I blabbed about the return of One Tree Hill minus it's main two stars a while ago. Now that we're 3 episodes into the new season I feel like I can safely say that it kind of blows now. It always did, but not as much as it does now. There are still occasional moments when some of the old characters have little heart to hearts or whatever and I'm all like 'awww, remember when this show was pretty exciting and dramatic and just super', and these moments alone will make me continue to watch this crap until it finally train wrecks into oblivion. A lot of the plot points at the moment just don't really make a lot of sense and are kind of stupid, but there was a fart joke in the most recent episode that just made me realise that this show had jumped the shark. I'm kind of glad it did though. It started out as an awful, awful show, then hooked me into it, and now it will return to it's sordid beginnings.

One last thing: Hungrybeast. The advertising is all a bit vague, but it turns out that this show is just a mix between Triple J telly and maybe a dash of The Chaser's War on Everything.

This first segment was pretty clever and well done. I saw The Chaser's do something extremely similar as part of their live show, but it was still a clever and funny segment. The hosts were a little smug, but this new show had won me over. Then they followed that segment with this:

I couldn't even watch it all. I had to flick before I smashed my television. There's only one thing worse than sketches that aren't funny and that's sketches that aren't funny but think that they are sooooo clever and witty. Urgh!

I flicked back and there was another pretty decent interview with the mother and wife of an Australian soldier who had been killed in Afghanistan. Other than the annoying moving camera and smuggy hosts who introduced the interview, it was actually a pretty nice interview. The camera didn't leer too much on the crying and that sort of thing and the whole thing was handled pretty well I thought.

Then they followed that segment with this:

Yet another unfunny, oh-so-clever sketch. I think I'm done with this show. Smugness is pretty freaking irritating to watch. Give me trashy teen soapie garbage over this any day.

jej