The Mummy Chronicles

Civics 101, Please.

2009-12-04T11:15:00.000-05:00

Come closer. Closer. That's it. Now, let me school ya on something. Obama? You know, that man that was elected President? He's been in office for a little over 320 days now and he hasn't accomplished ANYTHING, has he? Geezy-peets! No, he hasn't. It's all I hear, all the time. It makes me "smash your forehead into a hard surface" angry. I want to ask them if they thought Obama would pay off their mortgage or car loan too when he was elected into office.

Oh wait. They didn't vote for him. That's what it is.

Fine. That's fine. That doesn't bother me. To each their own. What gets me it is that no one seems to remember Civics 101. Like I said in 'I Am Not Un-American', things do not happen over night for any government official, regardless of their political affiliation. Changing policies, creating new programs and initiatives, fixing the massive problems that our broken nation has tried to shove under the rug since the 1960s takes time. Most likely more time than Obama will have or be alloted. It isn't like buying a latte or downloading a new itune. Remember this- Clinton had a rough and lagging 100 days. Anyone remember George W's? There was a lot of brush hauling. Get a history book out, dust it off and do some reading. Every President has not done everything they promised. Even when given eight years. It's partially due to that stubborn 'checks and balances' thing we have in this country. Partly because other issues take precedence and need to be addressed.

When I see bumper stickers that state, "Want your change back now? Ask Obama." I want to yell to the driver, "Hey! Come here! I got a treat for you! It's called...SCHOOL." Because clearly you have no idea what you are talking about. This economic problem isn't Obama's creation. The last eight years (and us) are to blame for a lot of that. Just like it wasn't Clinton who gave us that 90's economic boom. It's like real estate or anything else. It is all cyclical. Next thing you know we will forget that Al Gore did not create the internet. Gah.

So what has Obama done this year?

January- He signed the Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act. Five days later he reauthorized the State Children's Health Insurance Program (SCHIP) giving four million uninsured children health insurance. In March, he repealed the embryonic stem cells issue. Federal funding and strict guidelines will now go to the research for this cause. May saw a new nomination for Supreme Court Justice. There is a whole lot more- the economic stimulus package in February, new global warming proposals this past September, universal health care reform is in the works (Do some research on how it works for other countries, it's a good thing. Then come fight me.) and there is so much more. It's not like he is sitting back eating bon bons. He and many other government officials, from both parties, are working hard. It just takes time. More time than it does to blow $100 at Target at least.

And to think that I was going to write about Christmas's past and childhood wishes today. Maybe what I really want for Christmas is a government funded civics class for the nation.

Thank you to PunditMom and Jodifur too for such a wonderful mention today. It made my day.

Rudolph Gets the Axe

2009-12-03T09:30:00.000-05:00

The holiday season is upon us. Cards are arriving in the mailbox, we have broken out the advent wreath, candles and calendar. I'm dreaming of not just a white Christmas and sugar plum fairies but homemade marshmallows, snickerdoodles, fudge, peppermint bark....mmm peppermint bark...marshmallow goodness...

Wait. Where was I? I was busy wiping my saliva off my keyboard before I shorted out my laptop.

I truly love this time of year for quite a few reasons. I like shopping, I like giving, the songs, that special glow from the lights. Home Alone. The Muppet Christmas Carol. Emmett Otter's Jugband Christmas. I love them all. They never fail to put me in the mood of the season.

Notice something missing though? That would be Rudolph. Don't get me wrong. As a kid I was convinced that those red lights on the high electrical towers that ran along I-95 just had to be Rudolph making the early Christmas rounds. But those 1960s specials they replay ad nauseum each December make me feel all stabby. I want to claw my eyes out and smash the TV. With an axe. A special Christmas axe. Yes, indeed Virginia, Rudolph and the Abomidable Snowman make me violent. Like Jack in 'The Shining' violent. The holidays are stressful enough. I don't need to wreck it with my twisted tendencies. I cannot be the only one who loathes these specials. Right?

Tell me internets that I am not alone on this one. Can we form a club, perhaps?

Black Suction a.k.a My Bad Place

2009-12-02T05:56:00.004-05:00

You know what sucks?

My house smells like I have a pot roast in the oven and I can't figure out why. I didn't buy a pot roast. But it's either a pot roast or a hobo. I can't decide.

When you start fighting before you even make it out of the bed in the morning. You then spend the rest of the day trying to figure out how to solve the problem, hating yourself and wishing you were one of those women who was smarter, didn't say what she was thinking and could stop hurting the other person.

Waking up at 5:15. For any reason. It's still dark out. You had the "state of our finances" discussion the night before and you drank a few glasses of wine to help you formulate the numbers. What? It works! Wine makes financial discussions Hell-ari-OUS. Trust me. It also makes sitcoms funny. Heh. Remember those days?

Feeling like you can't get anything right. Not enough work- Are you just not cut out to being a writer. Really? Your kid is always whining, crying or throwing a tantrum- Will you ever figure this parenting thing out? No? Then can you at least feel like you are doing something right with her? Your chicken cooking skills suck. Too too too done or not done enough. I can't even make chicken tenders for crying out loud! Your Christmas present should be a chicken cooking class, as well as one on how to chop.

Realizing that book club is finally going to meet and discuss the book you chose and you still haven't finished reading said book. Did I mention we are meeting tomorrow?

I feel like Eyore lately. And I hate Eyore. He kind of sucks.

I Am Not Amused.

2009-12-01T05:55:00.005-05:00

I saw a t-shirt the other day and I think it was supposed to be amusing. As in, "Ha, isn't it funny that I do this? Come on! You know you do it too."

Except it just screamed, "Ha! I control everything! I can't let anyone do anything for themselves and I enjoy stunting my children for life." Well, that is what it screamed to me. Anyways...

The t-shirt said, "Wink if you do your's kids homework." Oh you, cheeky t-shirt,you.

I thought that we were supposed to be out of this helicopter "trend".

The Chateau Whinery

2009-11-30T07:16:00.004-05:00

If you see me with my shoulders hunched up, gritting my teeth and only smiling during my thirty second vacation, it is probably due to the fact that I live with "Wendy the Whiner".

Holy hell. The three's. Are they over yet?

I had to laugh when I read this post (it is A LOT like possession) because this last year has been tough. Really tough. I feel like I'm climbing Mt. Everest and my boots have no spikes. It's all uphill ice and I keep slipping back to base camp one. No matter what "techniques" we employ the whining continues.

"The beatings will continue until morale improves." No, not really but that quote runs through my head and H's more often than not.

It's not just whining when she doesn't get her way, which I understand is frustrating. Trust me, I would like nothing more than to go out to run the bazillion and one holiday errands and gift shopping I have to do and not do it on a Saturday when everyone else is out there. That makes me want to whine. And cry, then slump into a crumpled and defeated heap. It's that she whines no matter what. Then immediately acts like she's been shot, has a deflated lung (that half body sag that kids are prone to) and goes all out into a massive flailing limb tantrum. Sometimes I wonder if she has a secret stash of PCP lying around somewhere. It's that bad.

The whining- in the store, at home- no room is safe from the whining, the car, restaurants, public restrooms. It is as if every place in the world has a free to whine zone. No roaming fees apply.

Everyone told me to watch out for the three's. We can't say we didn't know it was coming. Alright, we can. We had no idea our cute, funny toddler would be like this. No matter what we do, what we give her, how much patience and time we give her, it is never enough. It is not right. It is as if we are physically hurting her and I hate to say this and admit to it. I'm not even sure H would cop to this, but sometimes I don't like her. I don't want to be around her. I'm sick of her. I have strings of days where she has worn me down to such a small bit I just can't handle her for one more minute. It makes me feel awful and reduces me to tears.

I miss my sweet, funny girl. I want to enjoy her and take her places. I want to read stories and sing songs without complaining and that whine. I want to have fun with her. To enjoy watching her grow as a child. This whining thing? It is making is incredibly tough to do these things. It as if we are stuck on repeat every day.

I'm Thankful

2009-11-25T11:10:00.000-05:00

I'm thankful for the safe car ride down to my parents house last night and the nice barista at SBUX who made me a tasty Espresso Truffle for the road. 'Tis officially the holiday season so I will partake of that creamy, whipped drink.

I'm thankful for cranberry relish, turkey with gravy and stuffed celery. I so can't wait for those tomorrow!

I'm thankful for a spouse who is home and not away. For all my friends and family who are not deployed.

I'm thankful for two healthy children and their two smiling faces. They drive me to drink some days but I love them anyway.

I'm thankful H is a free-range parent like myself. Because if he was all into hovering like a helicopter I would have left him by now.

I'm thankful for the drizzling rain that made for an excellent run this morning. My rain-slicked face felt fantastic as I pounded the pavement.

Finally, I'm thankful that my father stayed up late last night re-installing his Wi-Fi connection so that I could put up this post.

And now....a Thanksgiving Confession.

For a bit of Christmas come early, visit this site.

I Am Not Un-American

2009-11-24T06:21:00.007-05:00

I've been hearing a lot about the erosion of family in this country lately and how it's due to all the "changes" our nation has gone through in the last few decades. When this subject of erosion arises it is typically followed with the reasons being gay marriage, pro-choice or women working more.

I'm sorry but I fail to see how two men or women getting married and possibly starting a family to be an erosion of any sorts. If anything the erosion is that we simply lack the selfless behavior and feelings of charity and goodwill towards other human beings who think differently than we do. We used to have them. We are so busy filling our homes with items that we want other people to see us having that we have become too preoccupied and fail to see and converse with the people who share that space with us- our families. We get wrapped up in petty fights and families break apart and siblings no longer talk. Years go by and that link is lost. More people are affected than just the two arguing but they don't see it.

Let me ask you this- Raise your hand if you know and have befriended your neighbor. Have you been in their house? Do you know their names even? In many cities and towns this is no longer the case. We wouldn't know if our neighbor went missing because we don't pay attention to others around us anymore. We are too busy with our own lives. We are too busy. Yet, it's not really busy. It is just distractions.

In other more cheesy words, "We've lost that loving feeling." We claim to get back into this at this time of year. We vowed to ban together last November, remember? Then it got hard and things didn't poof! magically change overnight like we are so accustomed. Why can't the changes needed to fix our nation be as fast as my food, phone and computer? Damn it! But I want them now! Blech.

As Americans we love to say things like, "If it ain't broke, don't fix it!" or "These colors don't run!" That apple pie is American. Well, I hate apple pie. Does that make me un-American? Does it make me un-American to support choice? That I have gay friends and family members who I support and love? That I believe what Matthew Hoh has to say but still support our troops? No, it doesn't. To me you become un-American when you start spouting crap about what makes someone American or not and setting up those dividing lines. I know as a country we are all about choice and freedom of one's opinion but intolerance isn't freedom of one's opinion. It's simply hatred and fear in disguise.

Here's the thing, no matter what side we are on this country is broken. B-R-O-K-E-N. Broken. We all need to stand up and admit it and cop to being part of the problem. We Americans love to talk. Look at all our pundits. Pundits don't solve problems. Arguing with those who already side with your own point of view doesn't solve our problems either. Respecting each other, actually listening and working together doesn't make you "evil" either. When I hear that Republican Senators are treated like defectors, ignored and disowned by their party simply because they want to reach across the aisle and work with the Democrats on fixing our country it makes me so incredibly sad and furiously angry. It makes me want to do things to these one-sided self-serving fools that would have me arrested. About forty times. I want to scream, "It's not about you! It's about the greater good!" I know I'm an idealist, it's sweet isn't it? I hate to get all Carrie Bradshaw on you when I say, "I can't help but wonder if we started getting to know our neighbors, talking to our family members more and shutting off our "stuff", if we heard others more no matter what their view we could grow enough to actually fix and create the changes our nation so desperately needs." It's imploding on top of us and it's our fault.

It takes time and we are only at the tippiest tip of the base of the start of this change but we are there. We just have to realize it will be a long, arduous battle. Not just give it lip service either. It is a work in progress that won't be fixed perfectly the first time around. It is one that doesn't get solved by arguing with those who agree with us but by opening our ears, minds and hearts to all those around us. Reaching out, fostering relationships, coming together and working for change is American. Hating those who think differently, refusing to work and listen to the other side and calling them traitors to their country? Well, that sounds like the work of a terrorist if you ask me.

Musings to Avoid a Thankful Post

2009-11-23T05:56:00.007-05:00

As I sat in church yesterday and listened to the pastor talk about how many of us might feel that this year we don't have much to be thankful for I couldn't help but agree with just a small twinge of regret. It's not that we are in bad shape. We aren't. We have two healthy children. We have a roof over our heads and friends and family nearby. Yet, somehow I just haven't felt that thankful. In some ways it has been a bit of a rough year and I'm ready for it to be over. I'm happy the holidays are upon us signaling the end of 2009. In hopes that 2010 brings better things. While I construct my list of what I am thankful for (yes, I'm doing that kind of post.) I leave you with these musings.

I think the the new 2010 white Jeep Liberty's looks like Storm Troopers. The picture doesn't do it justice. You have to see this thing head on.

Sarah Palin's Newsweek/Runner's World cover is an affront to women. She looks like VP Barbie. Every time I look at the spray tan, make-up, the two Blackberry's as accessories (ugh!) and poufy hair I want to rip it to shreds and yell about patriarchy or something akin to that.

The release of Palin's book this past week has had an effect on TD. Every time she sees her she says in an ominous tone, "There's that woman again! Mom! That woman!! Eeehhh!!"

Why isn't Patrick Kennedy on Twitter? Oh, right. It's because I would stalk him.

No one I know watches the Macy's Day parade. When I say that I do and it isn't Turkey Day without it, people look at me like I just asked if I could eat their cat.

I keep donating food and clothes to the local shelter and yet I feel I'm not doing enough. I see a visit with TD in the near future.

The 10k FAIL?

2009-11-20T09:20:00.003-05:00

So...I'm supposed to run this thing called a 10k in a few weeks. December 13 to be exact. A few weeks back this seemed like a fabulous idea. Then I got sick. The cold from hell descended on our humble abode and took all of us, minus TD, under. It was like some Kraken from the deep. Everyone got better except me. Two weeks later, still sick and crying from the sheer sick of being sick syndrome I headed to my local Urgent Care one night this week.

Sinus Infection. No wonder I felt like my face was imploding, cracking and generally falling apart with pain.

Throughout this time of plague I haven't been able to run. Weeks of no running have gone by. I got three miles in, maybe. There's been no cross-training, no training runs. No nothing. The coughing, the body aches, the lack of sleep- it was just too much.

I'm set to run seven miles Saturday and then in two weeks it is the 10k. I feel a big fat, FAIL coming on. I need to make it in 1:05 or less to qualify for the half-marathon I want to run in March. However, I'm feeling less than optimistic. If I can pull off a good time Saturday maybe my confidence will be restored, but right now while my body is feeling better, my mind is messing with my head. The word is still out on my lungs. They aren't really returning my calls right now, but I think they'll survive.

I've wanted this so badly for so long it seems and now I'm feeling so depleted in spirit I just don't know if I can pull it off. It's all setting up to making me feel less than me and I don't like it one bit.

Overheards- Hmph!

2009-11-19T06:43:00.003-05:00

Scene: H, the girls and I are celebrating The Comedian's birthday with a dinner out. TD is dismayed at our choice of venue.

TD: Hmph! This isn't a good restaurant. It's not pretty and it smells!

H: What does it smell like?

TD: (She grumbles) Smelly. It smells like hot dogs....

A little while later-

TD: (Surveying the restaurant from our table.) Hmph! No one is looking at me! This is a birthday. People in the restaurant are supposed to be looking at The Comedian and they aren't!

She continues to give the restaurant the stink-eye and refuses to eat her macaroni and cheese. Later she tells us that, "This place is NO Red Robin."

My Take on Review Blogging- Good or Bad

2009-11-18T06:42:00.006-05:00

Most of you know that I also write a review blog, Mummy's Product Reviews. Initially, I didn't set out to write product reviews. It all started right here back in 2006 when as a weekly feature I did 'The Product of the Week'. People were always asking me about places to go, brands, beauty items, I could go on. As a self-admitted "product whore" and advice columnist wannabe, it seemed a likely fit. 'The Product of the Week' was simply my take on a product I tried, loved and wanted to share. That's all. Nothing was sent to me, no one pitched me. Nada. Zilch. Zip. Just items from my house. Review bloggers didn't hold much world wide web space if any back then.

Over time things have obviously evolved. An Arbonne consultant sent me a slew of stuff and I joined the Parent Bloggers Network. Review bloggers began showing up all over the place. It was time to create a separate space for it all, thus MPR was born. Right from the start I promoted honest reviews. I wasn't there to appease some company and stroke their fur. Call me an idealist but I really did want the companies to know what I liked and disliked about their products. Pitches from PR reps began to trickle in and by the end of 2007 they were pouring in. I was invited to review a car! I couldn't believe that this was really happening. I loved it.

Now, in 2009, I still love it. Honest reviews are my thing, besides my regular writing. I have a handy star guide and I hate to say it but this is one of my passions. Sometimes a company will give me an honorarium and even before the FTC decided to crackdown I was honest about that too. I willingly admit that I like free stuff, just not all free stuff. Having a company request a review is nice, sometimes. I like building relationships with companies and I admit I have passed on quite a few whose products and/or practices didn't jive with mine. When I work with a company or seek them out it is because I respect their brand and want to learn and share more- good or bad. I enjoy most of the events I attend because I get to learn something new (good or bad), see some blogger friends and network. I don't let it cloud my judgement or ability to be objective about the product. My belief then and now has always been that a company must be willing to take a certain risk when they ask someone to review their product. The very definition of the word review is this- "To examine with an eye to criticism or correction. To write or give a critical report on (a new work or performance, for example)."

I don't review everything that comes my way either. Unsolicited items, products without paperwork and pitches that don't fit my criteria or the blog don't make it as a review. I don't see the point of reviewing an item for only positive purposes either. What good does that do the readers or the company? I also think that review bloggers should be paid for their writing. The writing, not for shilling a product. I realize it is a fine line and requires disclosure and I wish it didn't affect a bloggers credibility (read this!). It's work testing a product, working with a company, writing up the review and spewing it out to the masses. PR work, writing work, just plain Work. Work, I love but yes, work. I actually think about what I write and I do not just post up a press release. That idea alone makes my skin crawl. I admit that if a company intrigues me or produces an item that peaks my interest I will set up a review. That is how it works. If I don't like it, I say I don't like it. Attending an event, being put up in a nice hotel and being given free stuff could sway me but it doesn't. Yes, really. I'll cop to it being nice having all that attention and stuff lavished on me but at the end of the day, when the blog post goes up, it is all about the product and not the attention. It really is about blogging with integrity.

Again, call me an idealist but I believe and agree with Liz at Mom-101, that PR companies and the companies behind the products we all review, should be honest. They want us for who we are and like any good relationship we shouldn't have to change who we are just so they will like us. They should love us, respect our opinions (good or bad) just for who we are even if a bad review comes their way. That being said, bloggers need to own up to the relationships they have with these brands and what went on behind the scenes. Be professional and weigh the pros and cons of an item. They should be honest with their reviews and not have their heads turned just because someone gave them a truckload of chips, a night in a hotel and some free meals. Like any job it is your credibility that is at stake. I hate feeling dirty because as a reviewer I am lumped in with "gimme bloggers" who are not credible or professional in their work.

My blood gets thick and begins to boil when I hear reviewers say they only do positive reviews and don't want to offend the company. Really? We are the consumers, people! We buy the stuff. If we don't like it we don't buy it. If we don't tell the makers, they have no idea their product doesn't work, smells bad, tastes awful, is a rip-off or doesn't last. It's just like a regular ol' relationship. It irritates you when your boyfriend bites his toenails off with his teeth while watching television? He's not going to stop if you never say anything! Tell him it grosses you out. To me it is all the same thing.

I'm seriously considering putting up a monthly column called, 'Disappointments' on MPR and listing a bunch of products that didn't perform well regardless if I bought it on my own or it was supplied. I don't care if companies back off from my reviews because then it shows they are just in it for the free PR. It's not about ruining a brand or a product, it's about providing real research and true thoughts and findings. That to me is highly valuable information when it is handled tactfully.

I could say, "Can't we all just get along?" I could say that we are just on the cusp of having real, open discussions surrounding this ordeal but we are right in the thick of it. December 1 is looming large and everyone who reviews is going to have to figure out where they stand. I already know where I stand and it is with full disclosure and honesty.

I'm climbing off my soap box now. Thanks for your time.

The Comedian, One Year Later

2009-11-17T04:36:00.001-05:00

Just think, a year ago today I was tweeting it up and doing this. One minute I was watching Oprah, the next The Comedian, formerly known as Dash Two had arrived.

You looked up at me with those big, unblinking eyes and I instantly fell in love. While you are named The Comedian for laughing at all the wrong times and reasons you are also my little cuddle bug. As a 'no-touch, non-cuddler' I am powerless to resist you. When you burrow into my neck it is like kryptonite.

In the past year you have been the bruisin' Blutarski of the house. You have learned to crawl with your head ducked down to avoid licks from the dog and you can topple your sister in a simple headlock. You like to yell at the neighbors from your kitchen window perch. You climb head first into the shower regardless of who is in there and are always looking for a missed crumb or whole cake, pile of cheese or pasta to cram into your piehole. You do not like to miss out on even one scrap of food.

Today you are cruising around, yelling your head off and smiling with a charming under bite that makes people smile back no matter what. You think your sister is the bees knees except when she takes your toys. Then holy hell must be paid or just an extreme case of sticking out that lower lip pout. You could give lessons on that one.

I can't wait to learn more about your sweet and crazy personality as this new year unfolds. You'll always be my baby. Happy first birthday Comedian!

The

The End of Silence

2009-11-16T10:13:00.003-05:00

Last week I conducted a little bit of an experiment. I took myself out of the world of forever Twittering, using Facebook and the rest of the 24/7 social media frenzy. I used it for only work purposes and that was that. I did it because I wanted to see if I noticed a difference in myself and how my week played out via work and with family.

Here's what I noticed-

Initially, it wasn't that hard to cut myself off from Twitter. I still posted items for work but I didn't 140 character it up all through the day.

I got annoyed when people made fun of me for doing this whole #week of silence. Or when they called me to ask why I was still blogging. Um...work. Gah.

By the middle of the week I felt like I was missing out on things. I missed my friends who I talk to through Twitter and know IRL (that's 'in real life'). That's how we communicate. Email just doesn't work for us that often.

I read more blogs and diversified.

I felt less scattered and was able to concentrate on what was going on around me more. I can't say I got more accomplished because I was really sick all week and dealing with a sick baby too. I had no energy and quite frankly, the break from the Internet was just what my tired, sick body and brain needed.

I read more and absorbed more of what I was reading too. Yes, really. That stack of papers and magazines that piles up on my sideboard was gone by the middle of the week. I felt more informed and not about what Britney Spears.

I'm sure there is more, the week was sort of a mess with all the sickness that was involved, the never-ending rain and overall crankiness that all that can bring on. While I'm back on, I definitely saw the benefits of taking a break from everything for a while. Stepping away from it all always opens up my creativity and leaves me feeling calmer. It's worth doing and I know I will again in the future.

A Bit Gaga Over Here

2009-11-13T15:00:00.004-05:00

I'm addicted to this right now. Thanks Mamapop! In my moments of insanity today I just want to watch this over and over again then run to my make-up collection and start painting away until H comes home to something truly beautiful yet terrifying. Way more than this, that's for sure.

Except I can't.

I'm planning a first birthday party for The Comedian for tomorrow. Apple cupcakes seemed like a great idea at the time, all cute with pretzel stems and green jelly bean leaves. Then I caught the death that was hanging in the petri dish that is my doctor's office and I've been down for the count all week. Work has been left by the wayside, the house went insane and the non-stop rain has both kids acting like escapees from the local asylum.

The vacuum is glaring at me from the corner. Says she has other places to be and things to do. Those cupcakes aren't frosting themselves either.

I couldn't resist-

Is it art or total freak-show melodrama? There's so much about this video that I absolutely fall in love with each time I watch it. It has drama, comedy, a bit of horror and um, that annoying "let's dance for men" factor that always pisses me off.

You Are About to Enter the Sick Zone.

2009-11-12T02:13:00.004-05:00

Welcome to the my lair! (Insert evil laugh here.)

It's filled with tissues that have been used multiple times over. They litter the floor around me and threaten to take over my tiny world.

I shuffle around with a cocktail of Dayquil, Mucinex and ibuprofen. This cold is kicking my ass. I've cried "uncle" many times over and it still keeps enforcing Dragon Whips on me. Last night at 1:18 a.m. and desperate from a rousing fight with my lungs and a coughing fit that threatened to wake my entire house I chugged the kids Chestal cough suppressant in triple dose. Homeopathic honey-ed goodness. I think it worked. It was either that or the Last Call with Carson Daly and surfing Prizey that did the trick.

The juice is gone. There are still no cough drops in the house and my nose looks like someone tried to shave it raw underneath.

On a positive note, I wore pants yesterday for the first time in four days. Yeah, pants! I still didn't do my hair though. To think that I have to clean my house, buy birthday presents, shop for food and make all that food for The Comedian's first birthday Saturday and I honestly have no idea how on earth it will all get done. Too bad I can't waste time tweeting about it. Heh.

Beat winter skin blues! Enter to win Sothys skincare products here!

Veterans Day

2009-11-11T08:24:00.005-05:00

On February 15, 2003 I dropped H off in a parking lot. I fiddled with the necklace he had given me for Christmas only a few months before as I tried to figure out what to say to him. He stood before me, we hugged and kissed one last time and he said, "OK, so I will see you....whenever..." He smiled and I smiled but they were worried, nervous smiles. We knew that we had no idea when or if he would ever come home. Our future was a giant question mark.

Over the next six months I lived on a separate plane of existence. War was declared. Letters trickled in out of order. I lived for a dusty envelope to arrive in my mailbox. Flowers arrived for my birthday through H's best friend. I chuckle now that the florist sent yellow roses tied with a red, white and blue flag ribbon. At the time I was not amused. It felt ominous, not cheery.

When H was on the news one morning I called in a favor and got the tape. I had copies made for the entire family. The local recording company dropped them off personally saying, "We made you extras, we just wanted you to know how thankful we are for his service." When I forgot to start H's car for the duration of his absence the mechanic fixed all $800 worth of the problems for nothing. He simply said, "No charge ma'am. Tell your husband 'thank you'." The swamp cooler (that's the a/c for you non-desert folk) repair man came out of retirement because his son was too busy, did a rush job over a holiday weekend and made our house nice and cool because H might be coming home that weekend. It would be two more months before he felt that damp swamp cooler breeze.

When he finally did arrive, at 3 a.m., on a dark, black summer morning it was a huge relief. My office out in town had hung a giant banner welcoming him home. Our small town was so happy to see him and all the other troops on home soil. For now we wouldn't think about the future. Only that very moment.

It's not always such a warm welcome that has greeted our troops. My father received nothing of the sort. His sea bag of clothes was stolen when he arrived home. As a Vietnam Vet in the 1970's he couldn't find work simply because he served his country. So many of those men are lost soldiers even now that they are home and have been here for years.

On this Veterans Day we honor and thank them all. No matter what. Happy Veterans Day to all those who serve then and now. We thank you.

H & me at a family wedding in 2005.

My father when TD was born.

Got a case of Twitter Twitches?

2009-11-10T08:17:00.004-05:00

Yesterday, Day 1 in my 'week of silence' turned out to be better than I thought. The fact that The Comedian, H and I are all down for the count with a horrific phlegm-producing monster that destroys tissues in a nanosecond is probably the reason. When your nose is on fire, dripping like a hose and your whole body feels like it was an extra on Night of the Living Dead, well, being offline isn't too difficult.

I had my moments though.

7 a.m. - I put up my blog post and that was all. I didn't even check my work email. I felt so proud but the feeling was fleeting when I owned up to the fact that I could just as easily grab my phone to check my email. Also? I felt like I had been hit by a maniacal Thomas the Train. So there's that.

8:45 a.m.- Normally I am in the car line at TD's school doing the whole drop-off thing. We have our own "moment of silence" each morning as I read tweets and check my emails. The radio is blaring and I'm already in multi-media mode frenzy. Being sick, excused me from this as H did the depositing of the dictator.

9:30 a.m.- "Isn't Kristen supposed to be on CNN today?" I muse aloud. I should check. On Twitter. Like every five seconds. GAH! I can't! A few seconds later I think, "No one would know..." My precious no social media veneer has a crack in it. If I don't actually tweet then who is to know if I'm still trolling twitter. "BWAHAHAHA!"

10:00 a.m.- Realize I am now compelled to turn the volume on the TV to even numbers just like H. It is no longer fun to tease him with odd number decibels. My life is in shambles. "You people are morons!" H and I yell at a news story on CNN, which is about getting multiple opinions when you try to pawn something. Turns out not everyone is giving you an honest answer. Wow. Just, um, wow. This is news?

12 p.m.- Kristen has come and gone on CNN. I've only used Twitter for good (read: work posts) and not snarky or banal comments about the state of my neighbors lawn. I have not even opened Facebook.

As the day wears on, it does become a bit harder to control my urge to just pick up my phone and tweet away or check out what my third grade arch nemesis is doing on Facebook. I did listen to NPR while making dinner. The sound of whining and coughing had to be drowned out. I was sick of listening to myself after all. Oddly enough, I found the urge to check and play with my phone came in the moments while I was waiting for something to happen. Like the microwave to be done well, microwaving something. I couldn't just be. I had to be doing something. Waiting for twenty seconds with my own thoughts has become difficult. Quite frankly, that is freaky.

Here is what I noticed after only one day. I did in some small way feel like I was missing my friends and how their days were going. However, I also managed to read three quarters of my brand new Marie Clare magazine in one sitting because I wasn't busy watching TV, playing with my phone or my computer all at the same time. Could it be that in another day my brain will slow down a bit and iron itself out into more cohesive thoughts?

Searching for the Sublime

2009-11-09T09:26:00.001-05:00

Julia Baird has caused me to pause. There I was sitting in the car line at school waiting for TD to make her wild-haired appearance and reading her piece, 'The Devil Loves Cell Phones'. We have all heard that silence is golden, but is it also the key to the sublime?

Baird writes, "The anonymity of the Internet has been replaced by hyper-identity; the idea of shutting up and staring at a rock, piles of sand, or blinking stars for hours, if not weeks, seems profoundly countercultural. I know, it sounds like the lament of the Luddite. But if generations of mystics and seekers have insisted that there's something that connects silence with the sublime, you have to wonder what we are distracting ourselves from—and who we could be if, every now and then, we paused."

While I was reading this I was consciously making the effort not to stop and check my phone. What groundbreaking moments were happening in my inbox or on Twitter? I must know! It's difficult for me to say this but it took some effort to not reach for my phone. It took real effort discipline to sit still and read a one page article. How sad is that? I complain that I am always distracted by the kids but I'm apparently completely distracted by technology too. And now I have no idea who I am spiritually. Life's noise, all those pings, pokes and blips has swallowed me up and I've lost the soft inner core of me.

That same day I had to drop off my phone for repair. When I left the store I felt a tiny moment of terror. I frantically thought of all the "what ifs" that could happen on the ten minute drive to TD's school. If something happened I would have to rely on the kindness of strangers. Those same strangers who are also so involved in their cell phones that they often don't notice when a woman is being abducted and thrown in the trunk of her car. We are so enamored of our own tweets and personal conversations on these devices that we have disconnected ourselves from the actual world around us. We fail to notice what is passing us by-good or bad.

What I am saying is nothing new. It's not revolutionary by any means. But for this week I'll be shutting off the noise. Embracing the silence and seeing where it takes me. Please feel free to join me.

What does this mean?
-Twitter only for uploading work-related posts.
-No time suckage that is Facebook.
-Less phone checking, radio listening and television watching. Period.
-More silence and looking at what is going on around me.

*In other news, MPR has its Holiday Guide up. It's small but has some good stuff for a variety of people on your wish list.

Powering Down

2009-11-06T15:43:00.003-05:00

I have become what I loathe. Last night I found myself in the middle of girls night with a strong case of Twitter-itch. Not to be confused with jock-itch. I could blame it on my lack of dinner and a bit of wine but really it has more to do with my affliction known as Twitter addiction.

I like me some social media and networking, I do.

Symptoms include:

-Wanting, scratch that, "needing" to check Twitter about every 2.5 seconds. If I can't. It's a big FAIL.

-Believing with all my black heart that UberTwitter is quite possibly the prettiest symbol to don my Blackberry screen. I can extol the virtues of UberTwitter to total strangers. A 'squee' is usually involved.

-The need to be 'in the know' is always at the forefront of my mind. However, all I end up knowing is what is happening on Twitter, that Jon&Kate (a show I don't even watch) are feuding again courtesy of Mamapop and a bunch of other nonsense that no one cares about except about four other bloggers. It's pretty futile and I'm quite sure it makes me a dork.

I could go on but my attention span and writing capabilities are almost nil due to Twitters 140 character limit. Facebook now just makes me cranky. Network Blog um, thingies exhaust me. I'm a member of like ninety bazillion now.

So here is the thing. Starting Monday I will be powering down and logging off from all this stuff and focusing on the quiet. Silence. I will revisit what actually goes on in my brain and the world around me. I think that the idea of hearing my dishwasher hum and the birds outside beats the sounds of Speidi. I'll only use Twitter to send out my posts and other work-related writings. There will be no blog networking sites. No Facebooking. No DVR on while an audio book plays on the CD player and trying to read work emails while sitting in the school car line. I'll read. I'll listen. In 'powering down' I think I'll not only clear my mind but also find I can use it more effectively. Maybe I will actually want to write again.

Either that or I'll crack from the lack of "news" and run crying and gasping for my Tweets declaring my love for you all in 140 characters or less. I'll wager that Facebook will still make me cranky though.

If you want to join me in this week-long challenge. Well, go right ahead. #silence.

Can You Live Without Your Phone?

2009-11-05T07:01:00.003-05:00

What can't you live without? Food. Water. Air. Shelter is nice too. But it's been proven that humans can live without it.

Could you live without your phone? Even if it were just for a day, could you part with that little device that holds so much of your "at my fingertips now" information?

Does the idea of even being without your phone give you a case of the vapors or break you out into a case of the hives?

My Blackberry had a little issue with email yesterday (read: it was like, "Ding, ding, ding, bong, bong, bong...eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh" You know, dial up circa 1995.) so I took it to the Verizon store for a quick check-up. Turns out I had to leave it at the store for an hour, which was fine except that I would have to come back with two kids versus one. I felt a brief bit of terror as I exited the store but it was nothing compared to the guy in line in front of me.

They told him they would upgrade his phone and plan at no additional cost if he wanted to wait until the next day. They would overnight it to him. A fantastic, shiny, new phone and like a bazillion more minutes. I don't know who this guy knew to get that kind of fast, efficient service but he was still not pleased. He wanted it now. The dude didn't even own a smart phone and he was acting this way. Did I mention that he was under 18 because his Mom had to be there to give permission? Yup. The idea that he couldn't have his cell phone for less than 24 hours created such symptoms as flapping arms, sputtering, foot stomps, whines, pleading, and countless utterings of, "But MOMMM!!!! My phone!"

Watching this spectacle it made me physically want to throw my phone away from me as if it burned to the touch. Silence is golden after all. Oh, wait. Never mind, I have two kids and a snuffling, farting dog. Silence is impossible.

Another Scintillating Blog Post

2009-11-04T07:04:00.003-05:00

In other news-

TD has eaten a pound of yogurt this morning. Literally. How do I know? Half the two pound container is now gone. The girl has to have the healthiest digestive system on the planet. She should be Stonyfield Farm's spokesperson or ambassador to the non-yogurt eating out there. TD's digestive tract could kick Jamie Lee Curtis's digestive tract in a dueling yogurt fight any day of the week. Bring it on Ms. Curtis! TD double dog dares you.

She has also informed me that it is Cuppy's birthday. That time of year again already? Where does the time go. To celebrate she has instructed that we all eat Halloween candy. That is the way Cuppy wants it. She's clever. It must be all that yogurt she's eating.

I can't stop scratching. My hands, wrists and ankles are on fire. I feel possessed by well, a scratchy itch monster or something akin that. What else makes your nerve endings feel like they are bouncing off the walls?

My Blackberry isn't receiving emails for some reason. It coincides with my iPod going all wonky on me. I know some people can have this effect on electronic things, but really? Both my lifelines at once?! Air. I need air. Blood. Leaving. My. Body. Can't. Twitter. Must. Call. For. Help. Curses! Foiled again!

Find me here and here. Where I show I can um, actually write and not in this brain dead sort of way.

I'm Like Forrest Gump Just Without the Scraggly Beard

2009-11-03T06:11:00.005-05:00

Saturday morning I ran seven miles. I've never run that far before, 6.2 being my longest run until then. I did better than I thought, only stopping to walk for a minute when I hit 6.5 miles. I just couldn't get over how tired my legs felt or how tight my hip flexors were becoming.

Back in May when I began training for the 5k I thought 3.5 miles was far. I never thought I would want to run beyond that. I have always liked running, feeling that high and how cleansed my whole being feels after a good run. I just did quick 20-30 minute runs without any concept of my mileage or speed. It was purely for fun and as a form of exercise. Now here I am at seven miles. I didn't think that I could run for so long alone and like it.

At about mile 5.5 this song by The Donna's, came on my iPod and it re-energized me to the point where I ran my fastest all morning and uphill. I think I might have thrown a few air punches as I belted out the lyrics too. I believe spit flew through the air with gusto as well. I started thinking about my upcoming 10k and how I need to use it to qualify for my first half-marathon. 13.1 miles. How did I get to this point where running is now my thing? I drool over Road ID's (black please!) and wick away shirts. I peruse running websites on a regular basis and love talking about it all with other runners.

I can't get technical about it or that scientific though, I thought. I realized then and I know I said it aloud as I thumped across a wet, leaf strewn sidewalk, "I'm like Forrest Gump. I just felt like running." So I did.

Don't forget to head out and VOTE today!

Scenes from Halloween

2009-11-02T07:33:00.000-05:00

Brace yourself- kid pics ahead.

Giant peacock attacks Strawberry Shortcake. News at 11.

Steven Adler carves a pumpkin. And yes, we really do call her that on a regular basis.

Peacock and Shortcake make nice for the sake of hunting candy and other miscellaneous loot.
And, no that is not a wig that TD is wearing. I really did color her hair hot pink.

Red Rum & Laments- This is Halloween

2009-10-29T07:41:00.004-04:00

Just like the Christmas holidays and the start of the summer, there are movies that I simply love (read: MUST) to watch in order to truly feel the spirit of the season. What? You don't watch Jaws *every Memorial Day? Just me? Huh.

Parenting Advice for when your children need "correcting"? I kid. Is there anything better than 'The Shining' at Halloween?

Jack's Lament is truly one of the best songs for singing out loud in your car while cruising down a country lane. Or while stuck in traffic on I-95. Hand gestures are a must.

*like a dolls eyes...

Overheards- The Cardboard Box

2009-10-28T08:59:00.000-04:00

V: TD, did you take a nap today?

TD: Yes Momma, I took a good nap. I slept in a cardboard box.

V: You slept in a carboard box?

TD: Yeah, it was comfy. I like it better than my bed.

I looked at H and said, "Well that's great. Her future is already mapped out isn't it?"