Random Thoughts

(Bad)Kismat (Dis)Konnection..........woes abound

2008-07-22T15:32:00.000+05:30

I will try and forget that I crashed into and fell over my coffee table, cut my finger and knocked my knee cap so hard I was convinced I had a fracture…..lay motionless till K picked me up….put me to bed with an icepack over my knee…..and that I limped around like a one legged person for more than 48 hrs…..I will try and remember that all of this had nothing to do with Kismat Konnection……….

Reams have been written about this movie…….the return of Aziz Mirza…..the supposed romance between Shahid Kapoor and Vidya Balan……and ……well ok…all the reams written seemed to be only of the so called romance between the lead pair…..and for their own sake I hope it isn’t true…..fresh from the success of Jab We Met, and deserving more than the praise that he got (his famous Ex walked away with all the taalis remember) I really wanted Shahid to have a good movie……and this looked like it had all the trappings…..except for one vital thing….Aziz Mirza…..I mean look at the man’s track record…… nukkad worked because it was made in the 80’s everything on television (which was a sum total of Doordarshan) was tacky and trite……bad / loud acting was the result of theatre actors storming television studios and people like him got more credit than they deserved…..I mean look at his track record –

Raju ban Gaya gentleman was the only passable fare……with an already tried and tested script (Shree 420)….

then he made the terrible Phir bhi dil hai Hindustani whose only claim to fame was a kickass title song (which wasn’t in the movie btw) that became a national anthem and gave us a chance to smile about our (silly) quirks with a winning “phir bhi dil hai Hindustani” refrain……though this bit the dust when it released (even though SRK launched one of the most aggressive promotional campaigns for it) it seems to have made a pile of cash with satellite TV rights…..

Chalte chalte (I actually couldn’t sit through the premiere, walked out and watched it later)…..the only thing good about this movie was that it had some fabulously picturised songs shot on exotic locales……it also had an emaciated looking shah rukh khan (after his titanium disc surgery) doing the loud act and much as I like him, I couldn’t stand this one, Rani Mukherjee styled well with lovely clothes, but buried under a tonne of makeup…..and some other disgustingly loud characters played by otherwise talented actors…… (Have you seen satish shah in yeh Jo hai zindagi or sarabhai Vs Sarabhai??)

So I still gave him the benefit of doubt for shahid’s sake…..I really like this boy and wish he stopped giving people reason to go on and on about how he apes SRK……you are talented on your own ….. Just pick the people who won’t call you Raj Malhotra in their movies anymore

Ok since this has given you a fair idea of where this is going to take you, let us dispense with the thin shard of the storyline …… its very little….believe me…..

Raj Malhotra(Shahid Kapoor) is a down on luck and out of work architect…..here I think the scriptwriter wanted a Howard Roark kind of “brilliantly talented but no one wants to give him a chance” kind of sketch…..and the similarity ends there…..defeated and on the verge of a tear flood (this still makes you want to go and hug Shahid Kapoor the actor), comes across an advertisement on TV (in Canada, in Hindi….but what the hell…..looks like Canada morphed into Chandigarh with all the Batra’s, Gill's and other Hindi spewing people that infest this movie) of a tarot reader/ crystal ball gazer/ horoscope/ palm reader/ mother of all solution givers called Haseena Bano Jaan……the guy must have been really desperate to actually think there will be hope to be gotten from someone with a downright tacky Advt.....and lands up to listen to her mumbo-jumbo about a lucky charm…..which could be in any form……turns out to be Priya (Vidya Balan) who Raj gets into a few scraps with initially and as expected they can’t stand the sight of each other….they bump into each other another couple of times…..and Raj does all he can to keep her close to him as his talisman, so that he can present his architectural plans to Gill (Om – what was he thinking - Puri!!) and bag a contract to build a shopping complex for him, over what is now a Community Centre, run / protected / crusaded for by (surprise!!) Priya…..so after some lack luster songs, trite acting, and many unbelievably badly edited scenes later Raj gets Priya (thanks to a scheming two timing boyfriend - why do they all have to be losers??)and she gets her community centre, thanks to a vagabond “waving friend” who actually turns out to be the owner (Batra – Boman Irani) of the building company, who uses his ‘veto’ power (what are they running?? The parliament!!) .......... Approves the building plan which includes the community centre...........of course after a lecture on global warming (what!!) and imperialism…….and some other inconsequential stuff……

So that for you there is the storyline of (bad) Kismat Con-ection………

The acting is ok….as in Shahid and Vidya really try to bring some honesty to the crappy lines they are given ….but it ends there…..Om Puri and Juhi Chawla…. I was speechless (in a not so nice way), himani shivpuri in the three scenes as Om Puri’s dog toteing loud Punjabi wife act actually elicited a few laughs….Vishal Malhotra’s leech(y) type of friend was so dated, that you can actually throw in a few moth balls….the guy is talented….. now if he can just stop doing these roles….. because we could really do without the clichéd friend

The story is ok…..Sanjay Chel (writer), you should have really spent maximum time on the script….everyone recycles old stuff…..its trendy to do so……and really we would have appreciated a new take on this Munna Bhai meets confused Howard roarke meets bad take on whoppi Goldberg in ghost crystal ball gazer rubbish you came up with ….. everything you introduce has no bearing to the actual story……the competitor/rival to Raj malhotra, after trying several ambushes, disappears without a trace…… Russian mafia / money lender who speaks in a weird italian accent and has one scene…. Haseena bano jaan is jiggling her hips in what she calls “carnival ka rehearsal” with some 10 others in what looks like a street fountain…….what is the occupation of Priya?? She is a crusader for the community centre and is protesting the shopping mall in Canada with placards in hindi!!.........for a woman who calls Raj an MCP, she is passive and cow like with her boyfriend / fiancé………

The cinematography is adequate…..and its really unfathomable to expect Aziz Mirza to expect fabulousness from his technicians….that having been said, there’s nothing you can really fault in this department…..

Pritams music is lackluster……he seems to have lost interest in the movie halfway after Bakhuda (sung by Asif Aslam and Alka Yagnik) and one can’t really blame him for that

The choreography is very Ahmed Khanesque …..it ranges from what is really good in the Aai Pappi (which is there for the heck of it) number and Shahid is on home ground and a treat to watch, his foot work being very deft….. to a downright terrible engagement song (costumes included – sleeveless waistcoat under jacket for Shahid- which he removed half way down the song and a terrible fish cut ghagra for vidya)

Which brings us to poor poor Vidya…..darling….please insist that you wont wear anything that this stylist ever gives you…..he/she needs to be sacked…..there’s nothing wrong with your natural grace and style, and don’t you dare listen to people who try to tell you otherwise and put you in clothes that just don’t do anything for you…..

And as for the so called Chemistry between Vidya balan and Shahid Kapoor….it just isn’t there…..infact there is no energy / synergy / chemistry between anyone who were a part of this movie….the actors, technicians…..zilch!!

It has been said that Aziz Mirza made this movie after the death of his wife……my condolences…..but please stay at home and recover…..you don’t have to spend crores to make movies to get over your grief…..

What I can’t fathom….is whether people are idiots or so narcissistic that they can’t make out their front from their rear…end that is…..i have always wondered if film makers are surrounded by bootlickers who are always singing praises of them…..or they are those unfortunate people who have no one honest in the vicinity of a few miles…..if they are surrounded by people who are deaf, blind and dumb enough to not recognize a shoddily made product, then that is one huge colony of deaf, blind and dumb people…..

A friend of mine said that this was a sweet one time watch, compared to the other crap that is coming out….but I don’t want to compare this that way……despite the rubbish around….anything…standalone should be good or bad…..i won’t deny that there are worse off movies than this one…. But that isn’t how I judge a movie…..this one didn’t work for me……I won’t recommend it…..unless you are really drunk……really bored……or want to eat a load of popcorn….. my rating is one star….yeah that bad…..

movie review - jaane tu....ya jaane na...........God is really in the Supporting Cast

2008-07-06T10:33:00.005+05:30

well OK, lets face it.....he looks good.....in a non chocolate boy kind of way....but for the better part of this past month, and you can blame it on my being slow...i had no idea who this "imran khan" was....i finally figured, after watching a scathing news story titled "this pappu cant speak" on one of the news channels (where else do you get 'breaking filmi news'?) that this was aamir khan's nephew.....so as with anything that i need to find out more about, i headed to my most immediate and mostly credible source of information - the Internet and read up like a star struck (wont be an entirely wrong description) movie junkie all there was to know about this debutant actor...

OK so we know all about him, how he didn't know hindi and attended a film acting school and found it bizarre, and (alas!!) is very much in love with avantika, who he speaks fairly openly about....and all that.....

soon after the scathing report of his "cant speak" news item in the media, i was zapped and (here in lies the power of the media and a fabulous lesson of how to use it well) left stunned, by the immediate turn around.....everywhere you saw, aamir (maamu) and his bhateeja imran were there....at promotions, at events, giving interviews to anyone who held anything remotely looking like a mike in their hands and were waxing eloquent about each other and their movies and everything else they had or hadn't spoken about.....it was amazing to see this publicity blitzkrieg.... therein lies the absolute intelligence of aamir khan..the man...who sets his mind on something and goes after it with all barrels blazing!!

OK...this began as a movie review....and i have completely lost the plot!!

what made me want to see Jaane Tu, is the fact that imran is very articulate, not only does he have a deeply sexy voice (for his age) but he speaks clearly....like a normal intelligent clear minded man (OK....err not so normal....i guess). i was smitten by the way he articulated his thoughts, and there appeared to be no prepared answers....although that's an oxymoron considering the magnitudes of interviews he's been giving!! that apart, i like abbas tyrewala's work....on all the previous occasions....for a man to be scripting something as varied as Maqbool and the Munna bhai series, had to be taken seriously.....

so we braved the crowds of mad and excited teeny bopper's to make my way into the theatre....the story is pretty simple....girl and boy are best of friends and everyone including you and me (their families, friends included) think they are in love and cant understand why the hell they haven't made declarations of it yet!! they believe they are just "best friends" try to find matches for each other, realise they love each other and then go all out to confess!!

OK now that the story is out of the way....lets come to the other parts of the film.......

first things first, Imran Khan, is perfectly cast as the leading man...he is completely confident in front of the camera, walks, talks and dances like a normal person and very quickly endures the character he plays "jai singh Rathore" to you.....for a first time, he is so much at ease that you want to cringe at all the other bad actors after 25 films that you have endured.....

genelia is a sight for sore eyes.....i am a big fan of her telugu movies and she clearly is a face the camera loves....she however needs to work on her dialogue delivery a little......cos sometimes you wonder why she needs to screech so much......

the rest of the star cast.....supporting roles (read other than the lead pair) are spectacular.....the gang of friends is refreshingly normal....with a motley of people obviously scoured from the length and breadth of this country....thank god they are young...yet such confident actors and not at all conscious of the camera....its fabulous to see people performing well in these parts...and i think this is what makes a movie singularly better....the performances of the ensemble cast.....the role of the mother (Rathna Pathak Shah) is (but) brilliantly played ....and i think hindi movies could do with a liberal dose of this fabulous actress....she is all substance, wit and timing ....and it is difficult not to want more of her.....anooradha patel and jayant kriplani( where have you been??) are good and overall the casting director has gotten it just bang on!! how often do you see real talent in the side roles.....not often....and for that, jaane tu is a real treat to watch......real actors make it so effortless.....naseeruddin shah is so loveable.....and those famous siblings.....they show such maturity in their comic act...........that you wonder why they've never done anything but crass comedy before....!! and paresh rawal, shows you what you can do with supreme acting in just a couple of scenes.....the only weak links are the two people who play suitors to imran and genelia...they look much too old to be even considered matches for them....

there are parts where the script really kicks and drags it feet and perhaps the editor went on a loo break once too often......the establishment of three things....the "friendship" between the lead pair, the courting of someone else, and the realisation of true love for each other, gives you enough time to go grab a three course refreshment......and not miss a thing.......and this is what surprises me....that abbas was so excited to tell his tale, that he made it a tad tedious.....

the music of course is topnotch....breezy and catchy, yet the lyrics elevate it to another level.......kabhi kabhi aditi, is by far my favourite of all......thought they haven't made full length song a dance sequences for all of them....a few songs however, don't know why they are there....and for someone who claims not to know how to dance.....the leading lady does rather well (as has happened in scores of movies where perfectly choreographed song and dance routines happen....but somehow i expected a lot more tautness here from the director)

what works for the film is that the cast is bang on....the camera clearly loves both imran khan and genelia....the supporting cast, really does it for the movie.....it elevates it to a level higher......the set design is so real that you want the lamps and beds that are there in the movie in your own home.....and will keep an eye out for them.....it does so much for a film when the set doesn't look "fake"

my absolute favourite cameo in the movie (difficult choice to make) was that of prateik babbar, who plays genelia's brother.....genes sometimes make such a difference...he is all Smitha patils son....and yet his own man....its shocking to see such a performance in a role that has little over 4 scenes charm you the way he did.....dialogues, expression and acting...he is way above this league.....he brings to the role of an angst ridden, loner, painter, brother yearning for the attention of his sister, such a credibility that you cant help fall in love with him......

overall jaane tu is a good time pass watch.....aamir khan the producer businessman will ensure it gets better ratings that it deserves.....its a nice clean fresh faced flick.....and will surely make a star of imran khan....the boy has promise and i hope will have a decent and sensible career.....i would like to see what he does next....now that he has teeny bopper out of the way.....genelia will be a good addition to the leading lady brigade...she has a freshness last seen in preity zinta....and gosh she is so pretty!! abbas has done well with his maiden directorial venture, in that he picked a winning team and a story and great music.....he also chose wisely in finding a producer for his film......after Rang de, this is a film where the ensemble cast excels in their roles.....and that i think is the mark of a very intelligent man!!

go watch this one...for the sheer freshness in the acting and to burst the bubble that supporting actors dont contribute to the end result of a movie....they are the ones that actually make this one graduate from yet another teen romance, to a pretty good movie.....my rating is three stars on five...

Welcome Imran!! cheers to you and here's to seeing more of you.....Abbas...well done....but man you have so much more to give.....Pakhi - the casting director - you are the real hero of this movie!!

eerie again

2008-06-09T10:10:00.002+05:30

no .....am not depressed.....or raving mad....or anything as exotic as that......tho the last post here did say that i wish i had blogged anonymously.....i have this thought a lot of times.....its just that too many people i know read this.....and sometimes you just want to get something out of your system....in a very personal.....non offending way.....say a few things like speaking aloud and not wanting anyone else in particular to hear you say the things you do......like a good scream to clear your lungs and head.....the day i did post it...i was feeling like a good scream though!! for no apparent reason.....and i couldnt....so i came in here and said it!!

the house is filled with an eerie silence again......after more than 2 months....i am home alone when k goes to work his behind off!!.....first amma and then k's family.....it was lovely to have people around the house....and company for lunch.....somehow, having so many people around makes me miss the most important one all the more....i was sad that k couldn't spend as much time as he'd have wanted.....

i also realised that i am fiercely territorial....i dont know if this is good or bad...i just am.....

we did the tirupathi and chennai thing ....but that is a different story......mostly i am amazed at how things change and so quickly....the routine went kaput when family was here....things took on a different turn.....routine....food....conversations and everything else turned a 360 degree ....there was never a dull moment....and there was so much activity going on.........and just as soon as it began...its all over...back to being on our own......eerie silences again...........

ah!! anonymity

2008-06-03T21:47:00.001+05:30

sometimes....just sometimes...i wish i had started blogging anonymously ........

nice kind of busy

2008-05-19T18:21:00.002+05:30

its been a while i know....but while i did have a few posts in drafts, none made it here cos of various reasons.....been busy with mundaneness....some days really drove me insane...and i came here to rant....and then the mood got better and the post remained in drafts....in a way i am glad....i'd like to look back here on better times....and i hate it when mundaneness gets the better of me....

amma's gone back and she is terribly missed...contributed to considerable crabbiness on my part...today k's family arrived....and will be here a couple of weeks....its so different to have a house full of family....but a nice kind of different.....and the last week has been spent getting things ready for their arrival.....so that's the kind of busy i have been....

will come back here when there is something significant enough to post.... smiles...

Wedding pictures do’s and definitely don’ts

2008-05-12T20:20:00.002+05:30

I am a photo freak.... (Would have sounded better both spelt with f no??) I can stay online for days going through albums of random people.....I once bookmarked this photo journal of a couple who just had a baby and journaled her growth........I'd go there believing she was growing up in front of my eyes........ She did..... I am fascinated by other people's lives....I get their contact details and send them emails......that they seldom reply is another thing all together..........a bit of a stalker and voyeur rolled into one....but aren't we all voyeurs?? If not how can you explain the success of "bigg boss"

anyways....while indulging in one of my fave pastimes, I came across a lot of wedding pictures of random people...some known....mostly unknown....and while I have a lot to say about the run up to the wedding and the aftermath...for the purpose of sanity, I will limit myself to what I began to say..... Wedding pictures.....I see some that make people look more hideous than they can imagine….most brides I know wanted to get married again and just pose for another set of pics because they thought they looked awful…..the others just cried buckets!!

Why is it that we freeze with a face that looks half way between hell and the electric chair when we are being photographed?? Relax…smile….it shows…. Why do we look like we'd rather have a brown paper bag on our heads when we just spent a good three hours "dressing up" not to mention a whole lifetime planning this damn thing??

Disclaimer: the following is applicable only to compulsively obsessive women / brides to be….men I don't believe you are reading this!! And you will anyways be ignored!! Please take all of this in the right spirit….

firstly....remember...and repeat, many times during the week before the wedding and especially when you actually are posing for the pictures....that you are going to be looking at them for the rest of your life, your kids (if any) will do so too....so any tiredness, disgust, anger, pain (honey that heavy sari / lehenga and those killer heels weren't made for comfort) you feel, must be camouflaged and fake "jubilant / happy" smiles must be upon our mugs…..practice does help….there are some pics I have of my wedding, where I was actually bending k's little finger the other way to get him to smile while I am gritting my teeth….it looks wonderfully natural….we look totally in love unlike the way we were feeling at the time it was clicked…and I have it framed and sitting in my drawing room….so yes….wasn't I saying practice helps

secondly, don't rely on the parlour lady to get you looking like a million bucks……starve at least a month ahead if you really want to lose even a couple of kilos. Nothing else will work. Cut carbs and have milk / buttermilk without sugar instead of dinner…and yes honey order a truck load of orange juice for the rest of the day.

Make sure you choose the right foundation so that you can cover up dark circles and blotchy skin you are sure to get with the stress of getting married…..again, planning ahead is a must….you might have to spend days and fight off persistently pesky cosmetics sales girls who insist what they just showed you is your right colour and tone match….do not believe them….take your own mirror, apply to the base of your jaw, blend, walk outside the shop, put the mirror up to your face (come on now….this isn't time to be shy) check and then buy…do not reply on the foundation that the beautician brings along…she may be planning to use it on the next fifty brides regardless of their colouring…..

Try out the hairstyle and the saree at least a week ahead of d day…..you won't have the nerves to improvise when you have 25 relatives banging on the door to use the mirror when you are getting ready. Get the clothes ironed and put on hangers a day before the wedding. Do not think you can get a perfect drape by taking the garments out of their boxes when you are ready to don them. This includes underskirts and blouses and whatever else you are wearing (barring the underwear of course)

Wear your heels before wearing the saree or the lehenga…..don't want it to look like an afterthought

Pack all the stuff you will need to take to the venue yourself or if you are getting dressed at the parlour…. No one else will know at the last minute if there are safety pins in the bag…..again planning ahead helps….and make a list

Brave the lights baby…they will be hot, and you might feel faint from the fatigue…but bright, blinding lights are what will make you look radiant when the pictures are developed

Even if you hate the persons standing with you for the "group photo" and they didn't bring you a gift, please smile….it will show in the pictures

Fight that nervousness….and no one thinks you are fat…..if you are worried or stressed it is going to show on the pictures

Get a trusted cousin / girlfriend to be by your side (but not in every frame) at all times…she will also help touch up your lipstick, tuck in your hair and dust of saffron rice, petals of flowers and other debris that may have collected on your hair or other body parts

While this reads like a manual from a wedding site, please remember all this is true…..whatever your state of mind when the flash went off will be exactly how you look when the pictures come back in the album……no miracle can take place if you were swearing and spewing venom all the while at the photographer…….

Lastly………relax……smile…and believe you are beautiful…..worked for most of us!! And hey…after people have stuffed their faces with the wedding spread….no one will fret over the trivialities only you noticed!! So don't screw up your big day / night by fretting about all of this!!

role reversal??

2008-05-11T20:55:00.003+05:30

amma's left me!! gone back to bangalore....by the time i could say jack robinson and hyperventilate, she landed back in the arms of the adoring granddaughter she so sorely missed....that is one point i can never score!! yeah there were times when i contemplated putting fevikwik in her lip balm....but i reckon i will be walking down that road someday...so i resisted!!

we cooked together, lunches weren't solitary gulping of food events, but actual set the table and sit down to a meal type of things (my weighing scale shows me how much i have "gained" from this exercise), talked and talked some more, shopped, laughed and more importantly drove each other round the bend and back!! i got more driving practice than i ever thought i would...even gaining infamy of "never being at home" from jealous relatives!!

i try and do as many things that i can with her, because i know time is at a premium, that soon she will be packing her bags to zoom off!!.....and with this visit of hers being the shortest, i had too many things to get done....

anyways....when her return tickets were booked, i realised there were many things that didnt happen....i made a list and tried to cook up a storm at every meal....sometimes celebrating success.....and lapping up the praise....sometimes eating leftovers for the next two meals....only a mother can make you feel like queen victoria and cleopatra rolled into one!! my mother is no less or more...she's appreciative and encouraging of all that i do...celebrates successes and comforts at failures.....and is a very willing guinea pig for all my experiments!!

i wanted to send her with stuff that would remind her of me with every bite....so cheese crackers, brownies, cookies, chocolates....all were whipped up to be packed into her cases.....and the greatest compliment a mother can give...she told me all teary eyed and all (oh we are all quite a melodramatic family!!) that "usually daughters are sent from the mother's house with goodies...and look at me" ............. take a bow ma!! i enjoyed this role reversal....love you too!! happy mother's day

back in control eh??

2008-05-03T12:30:00.001+05:30

last evening, i decided to give myself a kick in the behind for slipping and almost screwing up the hard work of the last few months....mother's do have a way of making you feel anorexic....and mine wants to feed and fatten me like i was some sacrificial lamb....no more of that....lets see how i can hold up!! am excited though.....

freaky fridays

2008-05-03T00:15:00.002+05:30

thank god its over...if the roller coaster had lasted a little more...i'd have really jumped off the edge of sanity that i am forever threatening to......last evening...after we called it a day, i went and picked k up from work...he's kind of getting slowly used to a vagabond wife with a driver's license and a car!! by the time he wound up work and we got back home, i was ready to fall in a pile...albeit a neat one...we packed what was required for his two night trip and barely managed to get a few hours sleep, when it was time for k to get ready to catch the cab to take him to the airport so he could catch his flight....i think i managed a few hours sleep after that.....the next few hours after waking passed more like a daze post a hangover...till i ambled towards the laptop and turned it on....i remember having seen the advertisement announcing a sale in a shop i visited two days ago....i went there looking for razais....and found them a little (all right....a lot) overpriced...so still in my daze, i called the shop....lo and behold, the covetted comforters were on 50% off!! jumping into a fresh set of clothes, i drove out like a bat out of hell.....made the purchases of two fabulous conforters, and then one more for good gluttonous for more measure...and drove out...all in a flash of less than 10 minutes (driving time not included)......

why do we eat much more than what we usually need to?? because your brain covets more than your digestive tract....and since the brain is the control station of the body, the digestive system usually succumbs and swallows up some more....some thing happened on the drive back.....i wasnt happy that the shopping didnt take much time...and i craved to be able to look around some more....so telling myself that the few purchases of vinegar, detergent and wafers that i had to buy were something between life and death, i drove myself into possibly the best supermarket in hyderabad....now that it is swanky, it looks even better, but the range of stuff they have is mind boggling....having whet my appetite on a few earlier trips, i was all alone amongst aisles and aisles of produce....i can go berserk in a kirana shop...so you can imagine what this was for me.....i emerged a good hour and a half later...laden with more than i could carry....starry and glossy eyed.....and hungry for more...the only horror was how in heaven's name was i going to find place for all that i hoarded in my little pantry (ok glorified cupboard) .....i was famished by the time i got home....despite the best resolutions, i had a hearty lunch (do i get forgiven since i didnt eat breakfast?) and proceeded to display my wares and crowing about the bargains i bagged.....the poor mother of mine who was at the receiving end of all this, was droopy eyed and begging me to shudd uppp....ofcourse polite upbringing and motherly sentiments hardly allowed her anything other than some appreciative noises and smiles.....

i tried resting...i really did....an sms from my namesake woke me up...then a bout of quick consultation with the dear doctor...and i was again sleep deprived.....i spent the rest of the evening, paying for my sins by actually rearranging and cleaning out my kitchen...the one thing i like best after shopping is pushing my kitchen possessions around....tired and happy....i refused food for dinner....and wandered on and away from the epicenter.....

freaky friday it was...i spent a tonne of hard earned cash......and whats worse is that i feel so good in the bargain!! before leaving on his biz trip this morning, k asked if i had enough cash on hand...i replied i had too much.....and i think i organised its remedy also by the end of the sentence....i think i will impose a no more shopping till you clean out the pantry on myself....wish me luck...

random this and that

2008-04-30T22:37:00.002+05:30

its the middle of the week i think...i have no calendar at home and need to keep flicking at my phone to tell the date and time (when not wearing a watch)......i wonder why?? because i loathe the free calendars that we would have with big numbers and M/s shantaram and sons (or any other name of a comapny) written in the biggest print on the walls of my home....those were the memories calendars bring to me...so i dont have them on the wall....and anyways, with the phone and the computer having them as options, who needs the big ugly ones anyways....trouble is when i dont have the phone and comp handy.....and there are quite some times i am in this situation....especially since i quit working....

choco classes have come to a stand still because of the heat....which is enough to melt my brains...or have i mentioned that already??

i think i am in denial of being a net addict....i wake up and sip coffee at the computer...and spend most part of the waking day (and night) here.....i get pissed when i am called an addict..... and i get pissed when i cant spend as much time as i want here in front of the computer....i am beginning to speak lesser and lesser....gosh!! i think i am getting worse!!

i have hardly cooked this week....well you cant blame me can you...firstly, i have amma dying to be lady of the manor...so i am letting her play (that it suits me fine is another thing) and this heat.....its driving me insane....did you check out how many times i have mentioned it already?? there are times in the day when i think if i breathe any quicker i will melt......so getting into the kitchen is like not an enjoyable thing for me.....despite the chimney...that claims to suck out all...it miserably fails to suck the heat from the sun.....another whiner of a reason is that with amma here i have become so lax...with time and everything else...i know if i dont put food on the table, she will!!

actually i think i need to bring about some change....i need to stop snoozing my alarm clock and wake up at a decent hour...........somehow things look better earlier in the day!! alright...its a deal then...am signing off....and hopefully i will rise to shine tomorrow....

dear diary.....

2008-04-23T23:30:00.002+05:30

i'm reeling under the heat...today we touched a blistering 41 degrees C.....i think i will go insane....is it possible that the heat makes you want to vegetate?? i dont want to cook or eat...which happens only in depression and death....my ghost isnt typing this out...and i certainly am not depressed....i cant think of anything else but the heat....anyone asking me how i am...gets the standard...."my brains are melting" reply....its true...i am listless.....unenthusiastic and not wanting to move lest i may sweat!!

ok enough...i dont want to be a cribber....despite the heat....the happiness has been provided by something that is totally mine....i am driving like a dream....!! i dont know how many people are reading this....and if they know what a big deal this is to me!! here is the story....and here too....

i have been blessed by two most wonderful gifts of friendship....wait...i meant friendship...and gifts too!! so unlikely....that its surreal...one is my namesake.....someone who i bumped into quite accidentally....infact i cant even remember when we visited each other's blogs....and if i always knew her 'real' name...we chatted....and discovered so many similarities....not just in the name we share....but the opinions we had, the things we like, the stuff we do, temperament (i think), some really bizzarely similar personal profiles....and now i discover writing too!! i come home a couple of days ago...to find what i thought was a self addressed package.....i love gifts...but have never sent myself one ever....till i took a closer look and realised it was from her.....i am so touched!! (note: this isnt being said in the past tense)..... some yummy nankhatais that didnt make it to the group photo, some ready to use curry paste, a packet of fake chicken drumsticks (she remembered from a conversation loooooong ago), and a packet of potato flakes.....all to write me a letter to tell me how much more we had in common!! i am grateful for this friendship.....and damn all those people who think it is weird to make friends through blogs!!

then there is this lovely doc.....what can i say.....i was a big fan since i realised there were food blogs in cyber space....i've faithfully read and visited her blog.....but not leaving a comment very often and simply blogrolling them as a favourite wont get you attention.....not that i was looking for any.....some random stuff and we were attached through html!! we've been chatting nonstop...telling each other things like "hang on i am going to grab some chai!!".....we too have so much in common...arty stuff.....suckers for good looking interiors and food....we also both think that a certain celebrated south indian actress looks like she has downs syndrome!! i've so enjoyed being friends with her....and it makes my lurking on cyber space so much better!!

this post has taken almost a week to write.....before it begins to sound stale...i need to hit the publish button!!

the heat has still been relentless....i am grateful for a concrete roof over my head and the luxury of air conditioning.....the only thing i look forward to in the summers are the mangoes....and i got my first dose of them a few days ago....disappointing!! sour and so bad....they reek of carbide...the chemical used to force ripen them....i think another few weeks is what i will have to wait for ...hopefully to be able to relish the better stuff....

this week's been crazy busy too....guests coming over for dinners and lunches to see amma.....it also has meant that i havent had my daily fix of the internet!!

nails on the wall, shopping and shamshabad!!

2008-04-13T21:56:00.003+05:30

this is surely becoming a weekly dear diary!! but i guess its better this way....which means i am having lesser gripes and dont need to vent that much!! that cant be bad can it??

a whirlwind of a week actually.... i'm happiest i think that i have finally said adieu to bare walls!! yep!! after almost three and a half years, and countless to do lists....and (half hearted) begging for carpenters....i finally nailed the damn thing!! ofcourse the carpenter made me melt my brians while i waited for him to arrive on the scene in the first place!! his "abbi aaroon" in typical hyderabadi made me want to chew iron....but i swallowed my pride and anger at the prospect of going another few years with bare walls....so though i heard his kids screaming around him, an hour past the time he was supposed to arrive, and when he claimed he was in the market buying the "material" (which was some screws!! am not kidding!! basic screws) i grit my teeth and said, "theek hai jaldi aa jao bhai".....two hours later than scheduled...the drilling and nailing did begin......i went berserk....and he went berserk too....couldnt believe this looney woman was getting about 50 nails onto the walls!! i now have more bare nails than walls!! i have yet to decide what goes where and all that...but suffice to say that for a couple of days, each time i unlocked the door and walked in...it felt like someone else's house!!

a couple of afternoons spent shopping for K's freind.... and i realized that men aren't all that different like they claim to be from women... they too agonise over colours and shades and fits for chrissake!! S very graciously though indulged in me and bought me some pretty gifts that i picked out.....check their website out...i picked out a spoon / cutlery holder, some dishes and some awesome terracota coasters!! what's to complain when a gracious man wants to buy you gifts for the pleasure of shopping with someone else's money!! dinner was a farewell of sorts and we headed to my favourite eating joint....i was a little apprehensive, cos we were a motley crew...but the food was truly well appreciated!! i couldnt care less though...i will drag any carcas....willing or unwilling to this place!! leftover shopping was done the next day.....and then S, R and i went to my favourite watering hole for the Retro night!! when you begin to sing along on with what is called 'retro' music, you realise how old you have gotten!!

yesterday K and i took about 45 mins to reach Shamshabad (my mom was arriving from bangalore) ...the swanking new international airport in hyderabad.....contrary to many horrifying reports of traffic jams and chaos and confusion at the airport, we got there in record time.....stopping more than a couple of time for instructions....yeah one part of the road really sucks...but as you drive into the airport, your heart swells with pride for what has been made.....its a massive structure....still unfinished....i think theres at least 30% more work to be done and the landscaping in this scorching summer is going to be a challenge....but it is huge!! and sprawling!! and swank!! love the self metred parking tickets...which at 70 bucks is cheaper than begumpet!! amma's flight was delayed thrice and we panicked when we saw hoards of Kingfisher passengers come out...an announcement that the flight had landed and still no signs of her!! she's got partial vision...and hates being treated like an invalid...so the brave heart ( i call her jhansi ki rani) is a prime candidate for confusion in the new airport.....we sent a battalion of four luggage handlers of kingfisher to search for her...had a few anxious moments when one chap came out and said there was no one with her name inside!! and then a few minutes later someone came to say she was waiting for baggage claim....another few minutes later, she walked out, escorted by one person from the airline.....we chatted on the way back home....and haven't stopped....we stop only to swallow our food!!

so there will be more tales of our combined escapades here!! and i will spend lesser time online!!

is this me now?

2008-04-07T12:56:00.002+05:30

there are some days when you wake up feeling you have'nt slept a wink..........or worse still...that you slept through the ringing of the doorbell and missed you milk, paper and maid.........when you wonder what the heck you have done to feel so deadbeat early in the morning......

i guess today is one such day.....

i am very upset because i have been called an internet addict....i wonder if it is true...on the other hand i wonder if it matters.....

if this is a great way to keep myself occupied and interested in stuff i like then what the heck?? if i am able to manage long periods of "alone time" with it....then why not??

i read about internet addiction....and it says that as long as it isnt affecting real relationships, its fine....as long as i dont substitute virtual in place of real.....i am good..... i havent...atleast not yet....

what's wrong with the ordinary??

2008-04-06T22:14:00.003+05:30

i seem to be making this a weekly affair..........is that bad....or good?? does it really matter?? and why is it important to come to a decision and conclusion about everything?? from colouring your hair to world peace?

the week actually zipped by pretty fast....and i am neutral about that....i've had all the time in the world to read blogs i found these past few weeks and am in danger of getting addicted to.....i also have been murderously stalking a few flickr id's because of the fabulous pictures they contain.....

chatting nonstop with a friend....actually someone who i admired from a distance, and can now call a close friend....over the last few days we have shared so much....her's is company that i enjoy....and we've discovered such similarities of taste....is'nt it funny what this internet does to you?? makes you friends with people you'd never have met, but are thankful to have.....

we've had friends staying over this weekend too...and a load of cooking has happened....but all that is the blah bit....and i am not about to chase away the few readers of this blog by going into the details!!

i've been trying to organise a few things and get some work done....things which have been long overdue....and all this has made me wonder...what's wrong with just allowing things to be the way they are? i dont know....i think there is an inertia happening now that i cant seem to shrug off...

i've had a movie overload....or let me rephrase that as "bad movie overload" .........Race during the week...last minute plan with friends....i cant make up my mind...i think i didnt mind it...but it wasnt anything...and i mean ANYTHING at all to write home about....anil kapoor made me sick...all those double entendre dialogues are so unbecoming of him.....and pray why in hell's name does he need to do films like this?? and sameera reddy....girl after all that heavy duty name calling you did in a film rag a few months ago....is this all you have to show ( i mean she did some ample showing....) you looked every bit the silly bimbette you were supposed to be....and whatever happened to that twist in your character you were carping about?? i guess it got edited out....and if not anything else, please get a new stylist and a hair dresser....there were scenes in which you had some strands of hair in all directions of 360 degrees!!

katrina...the lesser dialogues the better ....she's lost a tonne of weight...or was it all padding?? i always remembered all her pictures having her look very voluptuous till some backless things happened in race.....

akshaye...he has the best role .....and most of the punchlines....i feel sad that he has to wear a wig...whats wrong with looking like a man with a normally thinning hairline?? looks like a rodent though....really thick neck and pinched face...and he has put on weight or muscle?? i couldnt make out...

saif.....i dont know why he did this movie.....other than wanting to consolidate his position as resident stud....he looks like an ageing stud though.....and looks like, any moment now he will mouth "the name's bond....james bond"....

bipasha....looks scarily bad in some scenes...wears like some weird watch like bunty had in bunty aur babli.....but she has a substantial role....

what i couldnt understand, is why the movie was called race.....because other than one at the beginning and one in the end....it isnt there....and how come everyone from the cop, his assistant, the registrar of marriages and everyone else in South Africa speak in hindi? or i shouldnt be asking such logical questions about hindi movies??

its ok to watch on TV when you have nothing else to do....and on the screen if someone else is paying for the tickets.....

the other one we saw, was the latest Pavan Kalyan Starrer called Jalsa.....again i dont understand why it was called that.....and i didnt like it one bit....too much violence and loads of "masala" elements...needless songs and so much flesh show (parvati melton) that it amazed me.....especially after the stories i have heard from reliable sources about how these women are treated....i cant understand the lure of money and fame...for them to want to do all this.....through the movie i indulged in my favourite pastime of trying to spot where the scenes were shot....infact it went on and on so much that i asked K whether there would be an intermission in the damn movie......towards the intermission though, i thought the twist in the tale (pavan is an ex naxalite) would take the movie to another level...and it did...plummeting down.....they made a caricature of the whole thing and within about 5 minutes of telling the audience that he becomes a naxalite....he surrenders and joins mainstream pretty comfortably.....

there is so much violence that it made me want to throw up...what i am appalled about, is how the censors can pass such scenes.....someone has made a lot of dough for sure.....hammers, axes and swords are used with ease, to crush, cut and chop any body part..........it was disgusting.....all i could manage was to cover my eyes, because i couldnt believe i would actually gratify those scenes by watching them.....by the end of the movie, i had a glorious headache and i think the director after going all over the place, wanted to just wind it all up and give it some closure......oh and as for the heroine...illeana...she's a pretty thing....but cant act to save her life....the only thing i liked in the movie...was the way her house was done up and was trying to spot elements that i will like.....

but again....there are very few movies which meet my expectations.....and considering this movie is doing pretty well....i guess i dont agree with most people who are obviously enjoying it.

driving lessons

2008-04-02T19:12:00.005+05:30

so i am a licensed driver now.... after two near misses and lots of frayed nerves...i earned my driving license on saturday.....little credit to me....most of it due to this person we shall call 'V'....consider this...despite driving a two wheeler for a good 12 years, i never naturally transited to the four....for various reasons....multiple attempts (with brother and later husband in the teacher's seat) ended in tears and cursing (of the Screw it...i will never get into your damned car again...variety)....it was something that intrigued me....something that intimidated me...and made me resolve last year, that learn i would....so i did the sensible thing and joined a driving school....imagine my expression when at the appointed time, i was picked up in a run down car that had definitely seen better days and was on its death bed....and the instructor was something close to one of those archetypal "road romeos" ...... i soon reprimanded myself for judging too quickly....and submitted myself to sincere tutelage.... now for an eon i have been going for classes.....am sure i'd have earned my stripes earlier, had i heeded to regularity....couple of classes...then a couple of weeks break....so that saga which began in dec, finally ended last saturday.....

S my partner in crime and i would exchange glances at the antics of V.....he in all earnest, would try to decipher some of the conversation we'd be having in tamil....many times i would hardly understand what he was trying to say....imagine being told to "fush the clutch" and don't get tensed when there is "troffic" ...there were other gems too "tones" as in stones and some weird hand gestures which i didn't know what to make of.....this all apart, V managed to give me what everyone else so far had failed in "confidence" with a nonchalant expression, regardless of how much i was doing the wrong thing, he never failed to encourage and tell me i was doing better than the previous day, when he sensed i was apprehensive on the road, he would say with a smirk "kuch nahi hota madam, aage jao....dara do usko"......i never once saw him flinch when i veered too close to another vehicle, or even change his expression when i was really screwing it up.... he just kept boosting my confidence...and there in lies his competence....i will never know if he was just humouring me, or doing his job really well....the fact of the matter is , that after all these years, and after much apprehension, i had the confidence to take the car out on my own with just 7 days of classes, in chaotic hyderabad traffic....and not sweat....so today when i walk towards my perfectly parallel parked car, with a spring in my step and the keys hanging on my fingers, i thank V, and if i were to appraise him, i'd give him an far exceeds expectation

odd bits...and some fun times....

2008-03-25T19:48:00.003+05:30

i wonder if i should make this a dear diary kind of blog....??

sometimes i think i am such a cribster .... go on and on about the same thing!! like K being so busy.... i have said it enough number of times here...but still like last week, he completely bowls me over with something done totally out of turn....

on thursday we had a couple of our friends drop in and stay over.... we haven't been able to catch up over a long time and sometimes i wonder if it is design or sheer coincidence....i also realise that nothing, not even the best of friendships will stay alive without nurturing...anyways, i was on one of my baking sprees and we did spend some time catching up before K came back from work...we chatted into the wee hours with mosquis having a buffet laid out for them...we still managed to stay up till early morning!! i rushed off to church for the good friday service and k left for work only when i was back.... so B and i spent the quiet day together..... saturday was nothing much to write home about except that the rain which began on friday went on through the rest of the week....i mean it poured like it was the middle of the monsoons.... i am getting more and more paranoid about this reality called global warming....and shudder to think what might happen now......

in the pouring rain on Sunday i went to church.....is it me or just being opinionated about everything....i noticed that unlike before, so many things have changed about church...i mean for one...no one ever comes on time...and the latecomers always want to sit right in front!! i noticed people walking up and down apparently searching for something during the service....talking on the phone or with each other...and kids aren't told to keep quiet anymore...i mean i would be told to behave and given a severe dressing down if i didn't listen (when we got home of course) and in many ways one stare would be enough....but not now...... anyways... i must mention here that i find some of the speakers extremely funny.....they really don't have a message contained in their sermons and just go on and on.....this person who spoke on easter morning, began by saying he had three things to tell us....rambled on about two things...suddenly lost track of what he wanted to say and narrated the entire story of a movie called "babeth's feast"...i checked online and i haven't found any movie of this name...but since i heard the whole story...i can tell it to you if you want!! so after narrating the story...he just forgot the conclusion of his sermon....realised that he had less time...and signed off with a song sung from the pulpit off key!! wow!!

it poured incessantly all through service and after....we got home to a really soggy balcony and water every where on the potholed roads.... one off season shower and this is the haalath of the hyderabadi roads!!

post a really late lunch.....we lazed around a while...and towards the evening gravitated to the balcony....its something else to be sitting watching the rain.....everything hazy and beautiful...kindof like the state of mind you want to remain in....chai gave way to mojitos...i'd seen this on my naesake's blog and it caught my interest...i'm not crazy about rum...but this one was fab...although i replaced two main ingredients...this was still great...and there we sat...k and i while it drizzled a few feet away .... listening to film songs from the 80's....umrao jaan....masoom, ijazzat.... bhupinder singing..."mere ghar aana...." and do deewane shehar mein" ...rekha...shabana and the wonderfully talented farooque shaik....we talked gulzar and jagjit.... rdb and asha...with a candle because theres no light on the balcony....and it was so wonderful.... k said like we were at our own lounge!! yeah he was right!! i didnt want to get up from there.....no phones...no doorbells....nothing!! ahh...i think i would have said yes if k'd have asked me to marry him...

Weekend update

2008-03-17T18:15:00.001+05:30

What's a weekend spent with someone you love?? Just as I was beginning to forget….i discovered it all over again….K has been working his b@## off since the beginning of the year and it was beginning to get to me…..since I am not slave to the clock or calendar anymore, I would usually know that the weekend was around the corner because he would relax and we'd look forward to our time together….doing stuff or simply having a quiet weekend together….two days became one…and then none when he began working through the weekend….i try my best to be supportive, because normally I am not whiney…. And the last thing he needs when he's been working this way is to come home to a nagging wife…. But what I cant get over is the missing….i love being around him and I hope he does too….just his presence around me makes me less edgy and a lot happier….i seriously …. No matter what I am doing….look forward to the time of day when we get back home…. So all this being said and done….our weekends hit serious roadblocks…. the day we got back from our holiday….he went back to the grindstone…. If you spend time long enough or are interested at all to look at my profile you will see that I describe myself as a self confessed homebody…. But what's a home like without the person you want to share it with??

The past week has been less than exciting….imagine the magic of Maldives becoming just a fabulous memory….but the tan you picked up a serious reality….and no amount of time spent looking at the pictures is going to take that away….i've spent more time than I like with myself….the internet…once a faithful companion…was irritating me…and I spent an abnormal amount of time watching tv..( I am not a tv person)…it fails to amuse me…..cooking lightened me up a little….it always does…. My plants are recovering and its making sitting on the balcony less painful….domestic chores were beginning to give me an ulcer…..

K like a knight in shining armour rescued me….. he'd been noticing how I felt….and on Saturday night declared he wasn't going to work the next day….oh what joy!! Infact the happiness began on Saturday itself…. He was scheduled for a meeting at 8.30…I fed him dinner and when he left home I went to a neighbours to teach her to bake a cake she'd requested….and in ten minutes he was back…saying he excused himself!! I was over the moon….Sunday morning we rose earlier than a weekday because I'd planned on going to church….i'm precariously at the risk of becoming a festive Christian (ie; attending church only on festival days!!)….K decided he'd come too….and have a shave (his favourite barber, who is across the road from church and breakfast at Taj is his attraction to drive me to church on Sundays!!)…so off we went…I met all the people I wanted to after service and accompanied by a friend we had breakfast…. No no….not the Taj group of luxury hotels but the homely Udipi hotel, heritage site and landmark of hyderabad Taj Mahal Hotel in Abids….dropped in to see a friend's mum who gave me some of the prettiest pansies from her garden for my vase….. I cooked lunch…none of which remained ….so I couldn't even take pictures…K said it was the best lunch in a long time….i'd kind of become predictable….we had a friend over for lunch….we sat a talked and talked some more…well into sunset, over cups of steaming hot chai….and laughed and mock fought!! When the evening came to a close…I realized what a precious gift K gave me….his presence has energized me for the week ahead….!! Cheers and here's to many more weekends like this one….. love surely makes the world go round!!

burnt a hole in my mouth

2008-03-15T13:56:00.004+05:30

quite literally....a midnight craving for an aloo samosa, led me to the kitchen the next afternoon when i was trying to figure out what to do with my 'down' time..... i followed the recipe from a food blog....and made up two batches...one the healthier baked option and the other the fried one....no sooner did the baked version come out of the oven, i pounced on it....tore off a bit, blew it rapidly to cool...was satisfied and popped it into my mouth....

what i felt for the next10 seconds is inexplicable....the molten aloo (potato) stuffing stuck to the roof of my mouth and burnt it through and through......i will not describe the gross details for fear of losing the few random readers who see this space...lets just say that i have been walking around for the past two days feeling like i drank some acid, like there is a hole on the roof of my mouth that has rendered me incapable of eating anything.....i've just been drinking stuff which is easy to swallow and non acidic and cooled to room temp or lesser.....the next time i will know better....than to act like a starved person when accosted with samosas however yummy they look.....

Sleepless nights and days

2008-03-14T15:33:00.001+05:30

Two things have been churning my blood and making my hair stand on edge these past few days…..

I've been reading maximum city by suketu Mehta…am on the last chapter……..i like the narrative style….the flow and more so the way it manages to curdle your blood…chilling which is surprising as I don't think it was meant to….but the starkness of the life he writes about….the sheer edge on which the lives of many people I didn't even know existed lies on…..the lives of the bar dancer and the hitman in particular…… the non dramatic way in which he narrates their stories is what makes it chilling…..devoid of all the makeup….it so surreal…yet closer to you than you'd have imagined….the way they accept what they do for a living…..and carry on with it…..you realize it could be anyone….scarily enough….even you…..i realize with each encounter I have…….that what a "frog in the well" view I have of life….choices made are often so clear and simple for me….and yet I agonize…brand and label……I'm glad I picked up this book …. It was such a random choice…and trust me…for someone who reads like I do…sporadically and inconsistently…in frequency and the choice of material that I make…it was most unlikely a choice…..but with 2 hours to kill at an airport……there was something about the title that sounded vaguely familiar……infact I half expected it to be a page three of bombay type of fiction…..i really don't know why I picked it up….but am glad I did………I also realized that I am enjoying non fiction more than I thought I would….

The second is the death of Scarlet keeling….this 15 year old british girl was found naked and dead on anjuna beach in goa….. that a human being can be violated in the most ultimate way in such a public place is so scary that it made my hair stand up…I haven't been able to get it off my mind since the past few days….drugged, raped and killed…how and when and where and by whom?? Questions that remain muddled in the mess that is made of it…that a human being isn't given dignity even in death….cover ups and accusations flying fast …. Fingers being pointed to her mother's lifestyle…as though it justified what happened…..and to think that the system that is meant to protect us is where the needle of undoubted suspicion points at first……that a girl so young can access drugs and drink the way she did….that someone could be such an animal ….to rape repeatedly a girl who was so drunk and drugged that she was unconscious…..and then leave her to die……

How much more are we going to degrade ourselves?? As humans….and everything around us seems to make us so immune……I am not pointing fingers at race, religion, place or country….just at the animals that men and women have become….. and just that the occurrences have become so frequent, that we don't even bat an eyelid……

trip part II - maldives

2008-03-11T21:03:00.005+05:30

i have two choices.....either i copy paste the whole thing i wrote for the other blog here and painstakingly upload all the pics again..... or i simply link up..... am doing the second one.... the whole story...be warned it is a really long post............

Trip part I…….Kochi…..meeting a food blogger and aqua delusions!!

2008-03-10T14:03:00.001+05:30

It was Saturday, officially the day I was waiting for ever since valentine's day (since we planned it that day…) ….imagine the bombshell when K tells me bright and early that he "had to go to office for some earth and life shattering meetings" I was flabbergasted …. And also a tad bit annoyed…I mean didn't he ? then why this at the last minute?? Anyways…supportive wife that I am, is said please go….so we postpone our flight for later that day and I was left to lock up the house and pack….. oh I must add that it began with giving clothes to the dhobi for ironing!! In between all of this, I managed to finish and hitch a ride with a friend who offered very generously to drop me at the airport…..i'd warned K that if he didn't turn up at the appointed hour at the airport, I'd simply leave with the first hot guy I spotted at the airport…..anyways…I was sorely disappointed (;)) to find a beaming K waiting for me at the airport….pretty soon we were airborne….

Cochin I was going back to after a year….last year around the same time K and I went to Varkala and we drove through cochin…stopping for lunch….we reached the place we were staying, freshened up and popped in next door to D's…..my friend from college….as reunions usually are noisy…there were too many things being said at the same time….and god help you if her 3 and a half year old daughter M is around…the little pet will not allow anyone to get a word in sideways!! J her brother who is 13 months old entertains himself and lives comfortably in the shadow of his sister….M wanted to know if Amma and Anu aunty went to school together, how old we were, was I her only friend, and if no then how come she had'nt seen any other of her friends? We decided to catch up the next day as D's hubby had to catch a train…..

Our tenth floor service apartment had a fabulous view of the backwaters along which it is located…so K and I sat in the balcony talking under the stars and faint nightly noises….what I noticed this time is that usually when you drive along Kerala, the single most reinforced imagery encountered is that of hoardings announcing the million jewelery stores…all the way from pallakkad to Trivandrum….this time I noticed that the love for bling has given way to mammoth real estate advertisements…..there are as many boards as there are projects…each one promising you the home of your dreams to a little place of heaven and even an "address you can finally be proud of" …no I didn't make that up…villas, apartments, condos, water facing bungalows, backwater apartments…..you name the kind of abode, and they all seem to be custom made Kerala style…..

Next morning…bright and early a phone call woke me up…apparently, alarmed at the impending departure of us without partaking of a meal at D's household, aunty decided to have us over for breakfast…..with our plans so fluid….we had told the family the previous evening that we'd leave on Sunday night so as to not risk not being able to make it on time to catch our flight to Male from Trivandrum….aunty had planned to host lunch for us …. But that became breakfast……so much the better cos after gorging on all that fabulous breakfast….i couldn't have slept a wink had I agreed to dinner!! A colossal table filled with puttu, payar, egg roast, vada sambhar, pazham (carmelised) and stew awaited us…..to say that we had a wonderful breakfast is the understatement of the moment!!

Uncle and aunty went off to celebrate the 80^th birthday of a friend, K who was totally in love with M by this time…smitten…spent time entertaining her, playing with her and making her feel like supergirl….because he kept throwing her up in the air and generally doing whatever she wanted….the whole room was filled with shrieks that only little girls can let out!! All this din while D and I tried to catch up…..

We had such a packed day and I really looked forward to the evening because I was to meet Aparna…a fellow blogger….she came with her daughter, a delightful young lady who thankfully for today's generation lists reading and books as her favourites!! A few days earlier, while chatting online, I'd mentioned to A that we may be related for all you know cos both our husbands had the same surname and came from the same region of Palakkad in Kerala….imagine our shock…and subsequent bizarre delight when it turns out that they share the same family name, come from the same ancestral village and their houses were 4 doors or something like that apart!! Infact when her husband came by to pick them up, we got Appa on the phone who was more than intrigued by this uncanny meeting!! Food blogging sure has its surprises!! Aparna came bearing a gift like a true blue food blogger….some fabulous chocolate and walnut brownies / muffins….which we had some and took the rest to devour in Maldives……

Lots of debates and deliberations later, we decided to fly from cochin to Tvdm as we found a later in the night flight……..After such an action packed two days, we didn't want to over sleep and rick not being able to catch the early morning train…..so off we went to Tvdm…checked into the ginger hotel by the tata's which I was so impressed with….and slept a lovely fitful sleep full of aquamarine dreams………. Ah bliss!!

Totally excited!!

2008-03-01T10:57:00.001+05:30

Totally excited has been my signature line on my chat id ever since V day…..loads of friends…..intrigued by what the excitement is all about stopped by to ask…..those of them expecting some confirmation of procreation in the process were a tad bit disappointed ;) …..i've blogged about why I am totally excited here already….. so finally after all this wait and some major running about to fix things before we leave for a week's vacation, I am a little relieved that the 1^st of march is finally here!! The last week has been a haze of work work and nothing but more of it…..am happy to bits to be taking this break….first of all I stop by at cochin for a couple of days where I get to spend time with D….we were in college together …. And being in a hostel sort of makes you the kind of friends that last a lifetime….we've shared happiness and heartbreak…success and sorrow…..but living on either side of the Atlantic isn't the most conducive thing…..D dropped by hyderabad earlier this year…and now on the last leg of her vacation in India, I wanted to get some more time with her….hence the trip to god's own country….. a pleasant occurrence all thanks to blogging has also happened…something that I am looking forward to…..i get to meet a fellow food blogger!! Its adding so much excitement to today's trip…… A and I have exchanged notes briefly……she asked me some questions on chocolate making and we were chatting online….then I told her I would be in her part of the country on the weekend…and we decided to meet over coffee…..oh what fun!! This is the first time that I would be meeting a fellow food blogger…so I am much looking forward to this……I don't expect K to even get half a phrase in sideways!! He will have two foodie enthusiasts to deal with………the last leg of this trip will kick it into a different league….K surprised me with a trip to Maldives….so we leave from cochin on the 3^rd for a 4 day vacation in maldives……more on that when I am back!! Please be patient to deal with a giddy headed person!! And pardon me if I am being totally OTT!! Ciao…………

Eyes eyes anyone??

2008-02-25T11:56:00.001+05:30

Scratching, itching…. Using the fluffy towel to camouflage the attack….gouging almost!! Watery, runny side effects…..perpetually red eyes, fear of the famed 'madras eye', self medication, self assurance, assurance from amma, washing washing…four days of agony….four days of stupidity….four days of denial…. fear of turning blind...that's what made me rush into the emergency room of a huge corporate hospital…..male nurse, asks me to lie down on the stretcher with my head hanging down …suspended in mid air….walks in with a syringe….fills something in it…I shrink…want to bolt and run….he turns to me…snips of the needle (thank god!!) …I just hope he has washed his hands…tells me he 'vaants to jest irrigate' my eye…..(what I thought that's how we grow rice!!)….shoots the liquid in….i was so scared stiff, you could've thought it was rigor mortis…..i flinch…..then he uses his hands (yeah both of them) to part my eyelids…(what were you thinking??) ….peers inside…I thought my eye lids would tear….he was so close I could see the hair in his nose…tried not to …but that close!! Looks up…looks down…disappointed…. Says "nedhig ees they're….sori"…repeats the same to the duty doctor….who then tells me…see we can't say if something is wrong…or if there is an infection…we're not eye doctors…. Go to LV Prasad…they have 24 hr emergency services…. I was like "what?????" why didn't you say so before?? ……….Irritated K….driving at break neck speed….me feeling sorry for him (long day…it was almost 9 p.m) and myself….fear of turning fully blind…..visions of michelle mc nally and all those nightmaric images like montages…..almost dark hospital…..winding hallways…..unsmiling doctor…(of course she wouldn't smile….we interrupted her enroute to dinner!!) …..totally crumpled, "I've surely seen better days and a smaller waist" salwar kameez…..frantic phone calls to the dinner companion to be….spoken in bengali but hardly masked disgust about an emergency 'case'……here my eyes are threatening to go blind…and she asks me questions to fill her form….ever had any surgery? Any serious illnesses? Any allergies? Married? On any medication? Family history of eye disease? On? And on? And on?.....didnt stop even seeing my runny eyes….. impatient – concerned K asking question after question…only to be told curtly "how will I know unless I check" to which he retorted… "then why don't you just check?"…imagine my plight…..at the mercy of a hungry, tired, just been insulted doctor….. face strapped to a contraption…..bright light shot in from a miner's helmet kind of thingie…..2-3 more calls in between….. warns me not to bat my lids….yeah!! I can hardly keep them open…they're that scratchy….. I tell her…she leaves the cabin……..yeah great!! Now what…comes back with something that looked like paper matches….pours some drops onto them and touches the upper lids of my eyes….before I could ask what she was doing….. I felt like I had something the size of a medium potato growing under my eyelids…… have your eyes ever been anesthetized? I guess not…incase you need to know how it feel…it feels like you've grown potatoes under the lids……more checks….more instruments…more peering closely under the eyelids…..i am so dazed, I hold my breath each time….nothing said…tension mounting….for both me and K….then she goes nextdoor again…..they are twin cabins separated by a plywood partition….open top….i hear her asking the other (hopefully more experienced doctor) what to prescribe…..she's back…tells me she'll dilate my pupils…..i ask why? …routine check up….since you haven't had your eyes tested in 12 years!! (which I told her during the rapid fire)…. Ok cool…. Things will be a bit hazy for 4-5 hours she says…hell I'll be glad if I can keep them open to see hazy atleast….so I have something dropped into both of them and wait for half hour…. I think she finally has her dinner…..sitting with your eyes closed is more difficult than I thought….edgy K gives me a lecture knowing I cant run away with my eyes shut and dilated…. No more internet…you're always on the computer…that's why this is happening …blah …blah….i am summoned again…yeah everything is hazy…and magnified…..some more miner's helmet aided checking…then the verdict…severe allergy…nope…not because of kaajal….maybe dust and pollen….wash eyes 3-4 times a day with cold water….some shiny bottles of drops as many times…nothing to worry…… no no…no blindness…. Come back if you must after a month….thank you!!

What!! An allergy!! I could have kicked myself for waiting 4 days….just one dose of one of the drops and for the first time in 4 days I didn't feel like gouging my own eyes!! Jackass!!

I lost all my headings

2008-02-24T02:11:00.001+05:30

I am technically challenged…the whole world and its cousin knows this….i cant understand html coding and so many more things that keep this blog alive….i didn't exercise much thought while choosing where to publish my thoughts…I just did a google search and (naturally) landed up at blogger….. I cant seem to understand why I cant have headings to my posts…I can do it only when I type in word and publish as a blog post….but this means I don't get to tag the post (which I can do from blogger)…so today when I tried editing and adding the taglines….i lost the headings!! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhh …… I've seen many other blogger blogs which seem to do just fine…then I thought maybe I'd change my template, but the thought of having to redo everything just tired me out!! So here I am stuck either without a heading or with no key words…..sad….

Its past 2 and I am dead beat….have had a really long day…infact the last 4 days have been crazy busy for me….i need to sleep….i need my eye drops before that……so g'nite all!!

2008-02-23T15:58:00.002+05:30

Let me warn you that this is a rant….. no point cursing me at the end of this…..i hate stereotypes….and try to stay as far away from them as is possible….am not again putting myself on a pedestal and standing in judgement….i am just asking why?? Why do we want to segregate, bottle and label everything??

Ever since I can remember I have heard statements which surprise me….. growing up, I rode a scooterette to college which was 15 kms from where I lived, and took computer classes after that….since the day involved something like 10-11 hrs for me, I found wearing jeans and t shirts the most convenient….not because I was particular about western wear (why not on second thoughts) but simply because I could'nt manage to keep salwar kameez and dupatta as fresh and wrinkle free as jeans and shirts…..i also wore a helmet…and a jacket against dust and pollution…..naturally people took me as boyish, aggressive and intimidating!! I've had these labels thrust at me not just by men, but more by women…. It was also taken as a huge surprise when my mom would praise my cooking…..relatives / friends and just about anyone would be astonished that I cooked!! And did it well too!! the common refrain that I got was "oh but she drives a bike and all so I thought she didn't do anything at home!!" ……… what?? Yes…. I did and I did all of that pretty well….i also was a medal winning student; I finished amongst the top 5 of my class scoring the highest ever score in english in school, won medals in college for being the highest scorer in political science two years in a row, got the second best score for my project work when I did my master's and not that I was mousy (why do we expect this stereotype??)….and not that being a high scorer gives you a plume of success later in life…most achievers either never went to school or dropped out….i took part in dance, singing and other co curricular activities and generally knew how to have a good time…….then I began working, I would be given feedback that I was too aggressive and that people felt intimidated by me…. Well tough luck for them….if people feel that insecure when encountered with a confident person (man or woman) then that says a lot about their personality…….when K and I chose to marry, no one in the extended family blinked cos somewhere they all expected it!! "oh but we'd be surprised if she opted for an arranged marriage because she was always 'fast'…..we expected this…" imagine!! I've been asked with skepticism "so do you cook?" or with a bit of mirth "so who does the cooking?" so many times that I have lost count….mostly I answer with a "of course not….we eat out every day!!" or a "no yaar, I can't even hold a knife" or a "of course I don't, that's why I got married" depending on my mood…..it has immediately shut people up….. random people who have seen my house and said "wow!! I never thought your house would look like this" (what…did I ever tell you I lived in a pigsty for you to think that) or "how do you manage to keep the house like this yaar….but of course you hardly spend any time here!!" it goes without saying that they've not had the fortune of coming home again……

Its just not me…I have heard so many things that people say when they are shocked and their image of a stereotype falls flat…. For example the other day I was at a training session….the person conducting it was a petit, pretty, young doctor with a master's in psychiatry…she looked like a model…with straight streaked hair, had on a saree, knew her subject and demanded everyone's undivided attention…..naturally when a couple of guys sitting at the same table I was at kept jabbering away or tried to interrupt, she firmly put them in their place….mind you they were of the same team, one a doctor and another a very senior manager….. the next thing I hear from one of them is "this female thinks she's god's gift to man kind huh!!" oh yes she is!! For starters, she was just doing her job, something that she was damn good at….secondly, would you have paid more attention or taken less offense if she was a middle aged matron who didn't challenge your maledom so much?? I don't know…she didn't care, and that's when she won herself a fan in me….

Many others….like my entire family and the extensions ostracizing a cousin of mine and swearing under bated breath that he had "got mixed up the wrong way" just because he grew his hair, people always assuming that a bad driver on the road is always a female, asking a badly behaved child if his mother has'nt taught him manners (pray isn't his dad as responsible??), so why do we expect a woman to know everything about cooking?? She may not have spent a min in the kitchen or had any inclination towards it…..why cant a man take to the kitchen?? ….why does he become a sissy if he does??....why is someone interested in books expected to look like a nerd?....why is a beauty queen / king expected to be dumb?....why is making money (not illegally) bad?....why is failure crucified so much?....why do we want to judge someone all the time? …then why do we hate it when we are subjected to it?

I've also been guilty….many times….but when I catch myself trying to box people and label them, I shake myself out of it…that's the best I can do….correct myself……