tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25724565.post4694762577803316928..comments2008-10-21T09:46:48.863-07:00David Cunninghamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15809530516902338904noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25724565.post-34735167866799124612008-10-21T09:46:00.000-07:002008-10-21T09:46:00.000-07:00Hi Debra!<BR/><BR/>Glad to see another author contributing. I'll check out your website and pass it along to my newsletter mailing list and my MySpace people as well.<BR/><BR/>I want you and the and the anonymous poster before you, as well as everyone else to notice something: you are both in happy relationships. I have never implied or said that the only reason a woman reads a romance novel is boredom. I have said repeatedly that if a man notices that he's in enough trouble in his relationship that he's looking for the kind of help that I give and he notices that his wife is reading a lot of romance novels, he can expect there to be a boredom issue and instead of thinking that his wife is ignoring him, he should accept the very real possibility that she spends so much time with her romance novels because she feels he is ignoring her. (This is not the only newsletter I have posted concerning romance novels by a long shot.) <BR/><BR/>I have also repeatedly told them exactly what you said, that they live vicariously through the characters in the novels for the emotional rush, and will often get turned on while reading their novel, and if the man sees signs of such excitement, instead of making fun of his wife's excitement over a book or feeling threatened by it, he should move with it and into it to help her escalate all the way into an exciting sexual encounter with him.<BR/><BR/>I personally am a huge fan of romance novels, not as a reader, but as an admirer of a tool, especially as they have evolved since the cheesy days when they were basically cheesy soft porn, portraying women as weak and fully licensed to be totally dramatic and irresponsible. I encourage my male readers to read at least two romance novels recommended by his wife or girlfriend so that he can get a better feel for what works on that area between her ears and see firsthand that the feminist movement has sold him a bill of goods with all that crap about deferring all decisions to her and crying with her at a chick flick to become "more in tune with his feminine side," pronounced "less of a man." And according to both those men and their women, it's a hugely successful exercise. So thank you for contributing, albeit indirectly to some degree, to better relationships, a better understanding of women by men, and in the end, a better sex life for many couples.<BR/><BR/>Best wishes for success!<BR/>David CunninghamDavid Cunninghamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15809530516902338904noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25724565.post-68612339399340060692008-10-21T08:11:00.000-07:002008-10-21T08:11:00.000-07:00I'm a romance writer and reader. I don't write or read them because I am bored in my relationship anymore than you would watch a porn movie or look at a Penthouse because you are bored. While men are visually stimulated sexually, a woman's sex organ is between her ears. What turns a woman on is the whole packagage - the attraction, the anticipation (Great point on that btw) and then the fruition. Romance novels are no longer the bodice rippers of the 70s and 80s. Now, a romance heroine is strong and in charge of her life and her own sexuality. The hero is a man whose character growth makes him worthy of her.<BR/>My husband loves the fact that I write and read romance. It is a turn on to read about two people in a committed relationship who are very into each other.<BR/>Check out some of the erotic romance selections at www.ellorascave.com and read them with your significant other.Debra Glasshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11569641430632477351noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25724565.post-16196033819516188352008-09-12T14:09:00.000-07:002008-09-12T14:09:00.000-07:00Interesting...why would you fantasize about an affair or any other relationship with another man if you weren't bored with the one you're with now? Why not fantasize about your husband manhandling you? Do you plug your husband into the romance novels you read as you think about them later? If you're not comfortable posting the answer publicly, feel free to e-mail me at tips@makingherhappy.com. I'm not trying to debate; I'm trying to identify whether there is an anomally here that other men may learn from or if there is a contradiction in what you say and what your actions logically indicate, so please be open and honest. It could be a learning opportunity for both of us.David Cunninghamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15809530516902338904noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25724565.post-4088003345152417122008-09-12T11:06:00.000-07:002008-09-12T11:06:00.000-07:00As an avid reader of romance novels i have to disagree a little. I'm in a happy marriage and I read romance novels so that I can be someone else for a little bit and fantasize about a man that I would never seriously want to be in a relationship with. why, because this way its so uncomplicated. I mean, its really fun to imagine some strong mascular guy throw you up against a wall and take you right there, but in reality, I don't know that I would enjoy being so manhandles by my husband. The thrill is being able to fantasize and control the fantasy without the possibility of th unpredictability of real lifeAnonymousnoreply@blogger.com