Farm Fresh

Snow Day

2009-12-07T14:02:00.007-06:00

This smattering of snow is just a warm-up (hee, hee) for the big storm they're predicting for tomorrow night. When you're a kid though, you're thrilled with any bit of snow!
The girls, too excited to even get dressed, dashed out in their pajamas, and baby brother was not far behind. He just didn't know what he was in for.

We had oatmeal and hot cocoa for a snack, followed by some snorkeling in the Caribbean.
Because that only makes sense.

Daybook 7 Dec 09

2009-12-06T22:36:00.005-06:00

To see more daybooks or join in, click on the above picture.

Outside my window... Heap big snow--and more to come tomorrow night

I am thinking... about how fun being around my husband is now. Oh I've missed him so.

I am thankful for... HARVEST BEING OVER!!!

I am wearing... LLBean slippers, black pants, gold sparkly JCrew sweater (via Goodwill) over a Gap sweater (also via a 2nd hand store) and a gold/silver/black scarf knotted not at all artfully :-)

I am remembering...things I need to add to my list

I am going...to a cookie party, the chiro, getting an underarm wax, tanning--Is the library even worth mentioning by now? Surely you know I'm going to the library. Target. Definitely Target.

I am reading... excited to start What in the world is going on?

I am hoping... we were really helpful to our pre-marital couple we mentored. Now that it's over.

On my mind... my five page packing list. Obsessive much?

From the learning rooms... Christmas. I don't remember exactly. We are way ahead of our curriculum in some areas, and right on par in others.

Noticing that...it doesn't take much to throw my kids completely out of control--last night we went out for pizza to celebrate the end of harvest and even though we were home by bedtime, they were whingy and tantrumy and difficult.

It carried over to today as well--Brielle's Sunday school teacher even said, "She did not have one of her best days" and that translates she was not good there. We had to pull over for a parking lot spanking for Aviana; a rarity.

Once we were safely home, we did have a delightful day.

Pondering these words...Giving is the secret of a healthy life...whatever [one] has of encouragement and sympathy and understanding. ~John D Rockefeller

From the kitchen... Making cookies, bread, comfort food, warm food, trying to plan ahead for the week and a half we'll be gone...

Around the house... Putting up the Christmas village, the Christmas Candle Pyramid--(ours is sort of like this one)

One of my favorite things... creativity

From my picture journal...

Brielle vacuuming the bathroom

Vacuuming her brother

The brother asking for more lip sucking. You should have HEARD his chortles!

Today

2009-12-04T01:24:00.006-06:00

As of today, we are almost done with harvest. Only 36 rows of corn to do, which may take an hour and a half. What a relief! This has been the most stressful harvest in all my years as a farm wife. All seven of them!

We still have a wagon full of corn broken down in the field waiting on a part, but at least that corn is off the cob.

It snowed today.

I had a severe, sudden migraine today. Got adjusted, took meds, cried all my mascara off (some of it ended up on my forehead!) and I don't know how I made it home. Praise God for my MIL and SIL who took care of the kids so I could rest this afternoon.

I moved the monitor up several inches today and am amazed at the difference it makes!

I learned about cooking ahead, planning ahead, and general saving time in the kitchen at MOMS group today.

I was totally blessed by a friend who offered to wrap my Christmas presents for me today.

Today we turned on the corn stove for the first time.

Cadrian had a nearly hour long fit today that started when I told him he couldn't nurse. I'm sure a few minutes into it, he forgot why he was screaming, but a tantrum at ear splitting decibels combined with a migraine that would make kitten footfalls echo like falling Sequoias was NOT good.

It was gone, thankfully, by this evening so I could go to a Christmas party. My medicine has high dosages of caffeine in it, and since I have drastically cut my intake in the last month, I can't sleep and now today is actually tomorrow.

Big news! and some other stuff

2009-12-02T15:16:00.004-06:00

I think the boy is weaned! He didn't nurse at all Sunday, twice Monday, not at all yesterday, or today. He asks still, but he shakes his head while he does so, knowing what the answer will be.
******************
I am off the Diet Dew! I had to not drink it when I was sick in bed, and then I just didn't pick it back up. It's been over a month and we decided to adopt a new Compassion child with the money I'm saving. His name is Cristian Andy Andy. Do you think that's really his name?

My dream is to go to Ecuador and visit all three of our children.
*****************
I bought a couple of small gifts for an exchange tomorrow night; a large bag of M&Ms and a Pencil by Number kit. I'm quite surprised the girls will NOT stop talking about the pencil by number kit; how they want to do it, can they have it when they turn 21?, will I buy them another one?, driving me bonkers about the frickin' thing--but they have not mentioned the M&Ms even one time. I guess it's better to be craft crazy than candy crazy.
*****************
I'm still trying to do FlyLady, but I can guarantee you she doesn't have three small children following her around. After several false starts, it took me all frickin' morning to get the kitchen swept and mopped. Literally. It drives me NUTS to try and do housework around here.

If I'm folding clothes, the baby is pulling folded clothes out of the basket. Why can't he pull them out of the wrinkly basket?

If I'm putting dishes in the dishwasher, he's trying to pull them out to put them away. I do let him help put them away, so I understand his confusion, but that doesn't make it any less annoying.

If I vacuum, I have him trying to ride the vacuum cleaner and the girls running screaming circles around it.

I try to do some things when he's napping, but I'd rather reserve that time to do a special project with the girls. And during quiet time, I don't want to do chores--I try to do some praying, some praise singing and whole lot of facebooking and vegging in front of the 'puter, as well as do a projects, I can't do with the children active.

I know it's just a phase. But it still bugs me.
****************************
I tried to give away a dresser on Freecycle. I usually just reply to the first one I hear from who wants it, so I don't have to 'choose'. This person was replying via her Blackberry, telling me how sad it is that her kids' clothes are all in laundry baskets right now and how desperately she needs this dresser. Pretty sure you can buy a dresser for the price of a Blackberry. At any rate, she kept telling me she'd come get it, and kept not showing up, and not calling. What a frickin' loser.
I ended up contacting some one else of the 20 odd emails I received.

***************************
And I really need to stop saying frickin' It's a bit disturbing to have your three year old say in that sweet little voice, "I don't want to eat my fwickin' wunch."

Thanksgiving

2009-11-27T14:44:00.005-06:00

This Thanksgiving I have so much to be thankful for.

I made my first turkey!
Of course, I got a lot of grief from my dad because, even though I searched high and low, and even went so far as to stick my hand inside the thing, I couldn't find the giblets I knew were supposed to be in there. Apparently, I was searching the wrong end, and they got cooked. Ah well, no harm, no foul.

Sometimes, it's hard to remember exactly how much I have to be thankful for. This harvest has been long. Very very long. Kevin has been working such long hours 6 1/2 days a week. Since August at least. I do not know how military wives, or wives whose husbands travel, do it; it's exhausting to be on solo kid detail from the moment you get up until they go to bed at night. On top of his physical absence, he's completely expended by the end of the day, and his mind is racing thinking of all he has yet to do, so he's not even as emotionally present as he might be. Add to that my grandma's month long passing and my parents being out of town, and the other emotional stresses in Kevin's family, and this harvest has been eons long. Very very long.

We're still not done with harvest, but at least the end is in sight. Yesterday was the first day I have not had to "deal" by myself for the whole day in I don't even know how long. My parents were here for the entire day. I had no idea how depleted I really was until I had some physical and emotional support for the day.

And on to the point of this post. Spending the entire day with my parents.

My dad and I did not have a good relationship as I was growing up, to put it minimally.

I was raised by failed parents who were trying, the best they knew how, to overcome their upbringing by failed parents. I still am working through, and may always be, trying to triumph over, some of the repercussions of my raising. It interferes with my marriage, my parenting, my friendships, even to a certain extent, my relationship with my God. I walk in more freedom now than ever before, and I am confident I will continue to heal and God will continue to restore.

With our history, it has often been a challenge to get together with my dad. It's too easy, even though we both don't mean to, for us to fall into old patterns of interacting and old ways of reacting.

Yesterday though, was a gift from God. An absolute gift. I was able to see, completely, wholeheartedly and without a smidge of reservation, what a changed man my dad really is. I was able to see more than just a glimpse of the man God created him to be. I was able to see true peace, true reconciliation, true harmony.

I've always loved and looked up to my dad. I'm beyond thrilled to be able to adore him and admire him the way I've always longed of doing.

Braid Crazy

2009-11-24T18:57:00.002-06:00

We have been having the best time with this book. The girls go through it and choose a 'do. They have exceptionally fine hair, but we have managed to pull off some utter cuteness. If you have girls with actual hair, I highly recommend it.

Daybook--23 November

2009-11-23T14:59:00.005-06:00

To see more daybooks or join in, click on the above picture.

Outside my window... Brrr! No more running down to the mailbox without a coat!

I am thinking...I need to tighten Brielle's stake. She is so freakin' independent, and not in a good way.

I am thankful for... oh so many things

I am wearing... black boots which are horribly scuffed, trouser jeans, and a red and white snowflake sweater I bought in 1999 from Express and still love!

I am remembering...our wedding, coming up on seven years on Sunday

I am going...to buy a new Christmas tree

I am reading...Family Fun magazine; my brain is tired

I am hoping...Harvest is officially over this week! Only one more farm to do...it's gone on, and on, and on...

On my mind... Is "Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it." (Proverbs 22:6) a PROMISE promise? ....
Oh how the responsibility weighs heavy on my heart sometimes, even as I try to go joyfully about my day.

From the learning rooms... people around the world and all we have to be thankful for

Noticing that...God is answering my prayers and helping me walk in freedom and also, we're almost out of milk again

Pondering these words...Our happiness is greatest when we contribute to the happiness of others. ~Harriet Shepard

From the kitchen... do you think a 15 pound turkey is too much for four adults and three small children? Ummmm...it was my first time buying a turkey.

Around the house... trying to keep on blessing my home and my children without losing my temper

One of my favorite things... making cards

From my picture journal...

My uterus just skipped a beat.
Aviana at a few weeks old

Just in time for Christmas...toy review

2009-11-23T14:02:00.004-06:00

Back in July, a toy website called ebeanstalk contacted me about reviewing a toy for them. It was perfect timing as we have plenty of July and August birthdays to choose from! Ebeanstalk has a group of child experts who select wonderful learning toys, for kids of all ages. They have an easily searchable site making it easy to find something appropriate for your child quickly. From baby toys, toys for 2 year olds, to seven year olds and up, you can find something great for your little one.

I could barely contain my excitement when I found out I'd been chosen to review something from Plan Toys. I'm a big fan of Plan Toys and we already own a few of them. I love wooden toys that encourage the child's imagination and have multi-uses. One of our libraries has an older version this super cool dollhouse, which the girls just love.

We received the Activity Bus which we promptly gave to Brielle for her birthday.

Imagine my surprise when she wasn't the slightest bit interested in it. I chalked it up to being over excitement and not really able to focus. I'd get it out for her intermittently, and she'd obligingly mess around with it for a couple of minutes, and wander off.

I thought maybe Aviana would enjoy it more then, since she is further along in her mental development and does pretending even more frequently. She didn't like it either and never played with it.

I thought I'd set it aside and bring it out again in a month or so when they needed something new to play with. Nope. Still not interested.

Tried again a month or so later. Nope.

I was feeling really perplexed by this time because I wanted to give a nice review to these companies I think so highly about,and at the same time to be honest about our experience.

I mean, I think it's cute.

After having it in our home for four months now though, I have to say it's a fail.

Here are some of the drawbacks. The little people are bendable via pieces of elastic, but they are hard for little ones to manipulate. Even with the small amount of play as they've received, their little wooden faces are sort of peeling/splintering. And while Brielle told me the other day that I'd be a better mama if I had purple hair, that apparently doesn't translate to green and red haired dolls. She doesn't think much of the cartoonish style of these dolls.

The desks are oddly shaped, and it's hard for a preschooler to know which end is up. Aviana even asked me, "Am I doing it right?" I'd hate for her to think she's doing something wrong in her play, when there are so many other times in her young life she's needing correction. She needs play things that will conform to her, not the other way around. The books are basically decorative with no real purpose. The map got stepped on and got cracked. They somehow managed to pull the side door of the bus all the way off and neither Kevin nor I could get it back on. You're supposed to be able to store the pieces inside the bus, but that's clearly kind of hard, when only half of it stays on properly. I can't say much for its durability.

I tried to get the girls to articulate why they don't like playing with it. Aviana said it's just not as fun as her other toys. I think it's just too closed of an activity; the child is limited to solely playing school.

While I recommend Plan Toys in general, and definitely ebeanstalk for your Christmas shopping, I don't recommend you buy the Activity Bus.

About books

2009-11-22T00:48:00.005-06:00

April 09

**I like books. I like books about knitting. I like books about sewing. Oddly enough, I am not really a good knitter or sewer. But I have been enjoying reading about it and pretending I might someday be.

My mom asks, "How many knitting books do you own?"
Me, "Uh, like 3 or 4"
Her, "How many knitting projects have you done?"
Me, "Started, or finished?"
Her, "Finished."
Me, "weeeeellllll, none."

**I am learning a lot more about the Bible than I knew before. We read The Egermeier's Bible Story Book which came with our Sonlight kindergarten. I realize that it isn't the Bible, but it makes some concepts, parts of the stories I had perhaps glossed over, clearer for me than I ever realized they could be. Pretty cool to be learning along with my child!

And even better, Aviana loves this book and asks for the Bible every day.

**I started reading a book with a glorious title: Confessions of a Counterfeit Farm Girl~ it even has shoes on the cover; what's not to love? Um, the book. IT SUCKS. It's about a woman who is selfish and generally rude, thinks way too highly of herself, and moves to the wilds of Virginia from New York City. It's ridiculous. I don't know who thinks this book is funny or worth finishing, but it certainly isn't this chick, who never thought she'd be a genuine farm girl. (Well, on my good days. Kind of.)

Dinner

2009-11-17T07:43:00.002-06:00

Last night I got ambitious and made absolutely delicious twice baked potatoes. They were half white potato and half sweet potato, with just the right proportions of creamy homemade yogurt, butter, and ranch dip topped with sharp cheddar cheese and bacon.

Aviana. Took a couple bites. Aviana. Did not like them. Aviana. Made herself a peanut butter and honey sandwich.

Cadrian devoured them and ate more than I thought he would.

Brielle downed hers as fast as she could so she could get right to the good stuff.

She is licking the beaters from the Fudge Cupcake Murder Fudge Cupcakes. If you like your murder cozy and your cookies delectably delicious, you have got to read these books!

Daybook--16 November

2009-11-16T07:36:00.006-06:00

To see more daybooks or join in, click on the above picture.

Outside my window... chilly, rainy, overcast

I am thinking... gotta make thank you cards...gotta get the laundry put away...gotta get some books mailed out for Paperback Book Swap...gotta get dressed...love my coffee with peppermint mocha creamer...gotta get my camera fixed...gotta get back in the saddle again!

My grandma getting sick, dying, then my getting sick right after and now fighting off some more nasties has really thrown me for a loop.

I am thankful for... Not having to eat beans and rice and water three times a day. Like the rest of the world does. My friend's church is doing a five day "fast"--which means they are eating like the poor half of the world's population. Isn't that awesome!

I am wearing... white pajama pants and a white long sleeve tee--cool vampy dark purple/grey toe nails.

I am remembering... how I thought I would get up early and get this post done--still working on it 1/2 an hour later

I am going...chiro, reflexologist, health food store --gotta get my immunity up and running again

I am reading...Lost Mission --It's a great book, suspenseful--interesting, well written. It keeps my attention, but unfortunately my concentration is broken so often throughout the day I am having trouble getting it finished.
Here is a summary from the publishers:

An idyllic Spanish mission collapses in the eighteenth century atop the supernatural evidence of a shocking crime. Twelve generations later the ground is opened up, the forgotten ruins are disturbed, and rich and poor alike confront the onslaught of resurging hell on earth. Caught up in the catastrophe are...

• A humble shopkeeper compelled to leave her tiny village deep in Mexico to preach in America
• A minister wracked with guilt for loving the wrong woman
• An unimaginably wealthy man, blinded to the consequences of his grand plans
• A devoted father and husband driven to a horrible discovery that changes everything

Will the evil that destroyed the Misión de Santa Dolores rise to overwhelm them? Or will they beat back the terrible desires that led to the mission's good Franciscan founder's standing in the midst of flames ignited by his enemies and friends alike more than two centuries ago?

From the high Sierra Madre mountains to the harsh Sonoran desert, from the privileged world of millionaire moguls to the impoverished immigrants who serve them, Athol Dickson once again weaves a gripping story of suspense that spans centuries and cultures to explore the abiding possibility of miracles.

Thank you to Amy at Litfuse for a copy of the book to review

I am hoping... to actually get this post done before I have to leave...I am certainly not going to get the laundry put away like I had hoped. Why can't children just sit quietly on the couch until I am ready to interact with them? I should have given birth to dollies.

On my mind...all the stuff I need to add to my to-do list so I can stop thinking about it!

From the learning rooms... Thanksgiving--several great books and a DVD from MommyLife's list

Noticing that... there is really no such thing as "going smoothly"

Pondering these words... Sprinkle the day with humor. Laugh at yourself...Take time to listen, to notice, to smile. ~Mardon Davis

From the kitchen... gotta get the menus done--everything just goes to pot when Mama's out of commission

Around the house... Getting the carpets cleaned (as soon as I find the newspaper with the coupon and make the appointment)

One of my favorite things...my children. Truly.

From my picture journal... I have been quite remiss in taking pictures over the last several weeks.

And then...

2009-11-11T19:51:00.003-06:00

I got sick. Very very sick.

Today I left my house for the first time in a week! A week, people! I spent all seven days in a prone position too, except when I was kneeling at the porcelain throne. Not fun.

I'm feeling back to normal--well, my stomach still does hurt a bit, but it's negliglble compared to how it was.

I spent the first few days doing nothing. Well, I moaned a lot. Then I watched a lot of movies. And TV. I'm totally into V now. We don't have a laptop, so I couldn't even be online at all. I was too sick even read! Although, yesterday, I did listen to the entire book of The Silver Chair. That's 6 hours. SIX!

Today I had all the kids with me. We've been farming them out to friends and relations (Godsends, really). I've missed them. We had a great day overall. It's good to be vertical.

I found a couple good sites. I love fonts. I'm proud to say I actually knew the name of the font the credits were in of one of the many movies I watched.

Want some fun free fonts for your scrapbooking, print or website projects?
Find more than 9000 free fonts to download at
www.FreeFontFun.com - all free!

The other is www.leave09behind.org. It's kinda funny. I don't know if they are actually petitioning or not, but they say since '09 was kinda sucky, they want to end 2009 a month early, and start 2010, a new year of hope. People put up all their reasons why they want to get out of this year, from the facetious (my pet rock ran away) to the serious (I didn't get pregnant this year). I dont' know that I really want to end the year early, and can't think of a good reason to.

Can you?

Lately--

2009-11-04T20:02:00.002-06:00

I was trying to tame one of our garage kitties today--after I rescued her from the Jaws of Death (Belle, the giddy yellow Lab, who thinks said kitty is a toy) and she bit me. My finger is so swollen I can hardly type with it.

The next time though, she let me pick her right up and snuggled right into me. I wish I weren't allergic!

Cadrian is adorable lately. He'll shake his head viciously when offered something he doesn't want.He loves to eat--and also thinks it's fun to toss food off his chair. He'll walk/run away giggling and look back at you with a mischievous grin, inviting a chase. He's almost figured out how to run, but when he does, he usually is like a little ping-pong ball, ricocheting off anything in his path until he completely loses his balance. He'll "blow" whenever he sees anything resembling a candle--and when he blows, his cheeks puff out, and he lets the air out of the corner of his mouth, Popeye-esque. He's finally stopped throwing a screaming marathon when I turn him down when he asks to nurse, by signing milk and saying "Nssss." He still asks fairly frequently, hoping I'll forget we are only nursing at bedtime and naptimes, but goes about his busy business when denied. Now if I can just figure out how to cut out the nursings at sleeptimes. He's sleeping through the night, although the change back to standard time really messed us up. When he starts waking in the morning, I escape to the guest room so I can go back to sleep and don't have to nurse him. That was our last nursing to cut out with the girls, so we are trying to cut it out first. We have about 6 weeks before our cruise when we'll be gone for 10 days; I'd like to have him weaned by the end of November (I don't really want to wean, but he can't come with us...Insert sad face which is also glad to have a vacation with husband here)

Brielle is adorable lately. She is also stubborn and compassionate. She's often attention seeking and as wild and untamed as she is cuddly snuggly. I've been thinking lately, if I just start off the day with a spanking, the very first time she disobeys, we'd be better off and have far more fun together! She's still so sneaking in how she disobeys though, it's hard for me to realize it sometimes in the craziness. She doesn't get all defiant to me, she just kind of... wanders in the general direction of obedience and then... wanders off. She loves to sing and dance. She loves all things Sound of Music, especially So Long Farewell. She likes to play Mama, and has me be the baby. She snuggles me and talks to me in this teeny tiny syrupy voice. She is doing STELLAR at quiet time--and by that I mean, she has made HUGE strides to fulfilling expectation. She stays in her room for about an hour before she starts coming out to find me, and find out if quiet time is over (even though she knows what 3:00 looks like and can see for herself) or to ask me any number of inane questions. She rarely makes a mess in her room of Herculean proportions. This is amazing for her, considering she has not napped regularly for about 18 months and quiet time has been a daily battle with her. She talks non-stop and says everything that comes into her head as she thinks of it. She's wonderfully exhausting.

Aviana is adorable lately. She is serious and pensive, full of grandiose ideas and plans. She talks constantly, telling you every painstaking detail of her thoughts. She loves to listen to her books on CD and will ask me to extend quiet time so she can listen longer. She is learning so much, and remembers so much. I am seeing a new level of silly now that she is five, an almost annoying kind of silly, that I can't quite put my finger on. She wants to be able to read right this second and doesn't want to do the hard work of sounding out the words. She gets over the top frustrated if she doesn't understand something right away. She is loving and snuggly and loves one on one time. She most of the time tries to be a sweet little helper, and it's amazing how much she can do.

Kevin is working 7-8:30 or so, and is finally able to combine. This week has been nice weather and he is getting record yields for both corn and soybeans which is incredibly rewarding since this year has also been incredibly frustrating. He essentially has built a new grain drying system from scratch, which is just genius. GENIUS. The long days are hard on me and exhausting for him. It's hard on the kids too, but at least he sees them for a while in the morning and we take him lunch in the field and can spend a few minutes with him. We are mentoring a pre-marital couple in our first Marriage Mentoring assignment, and after two meetings, I think I can safely say it's going well. Of course, the day of our first meeting with them, the day my grandma died, we had a huge fight. Ironic.

I am feeling mostly tense. I feel like I'm in charge of a lot, and don't really feel equipped for it. Memories of Grandma pop up at odd times, like when I'm cleaning the stove, and I start to cry. I feel like I've committed to too much by leading our MOMS group, volunteering twice a month in the nursery, doing Marriage Mentoring and then the rest of my life, full of dinners, diapers, and daily ~~decontaminating~~ tidying up, not to mention maintaining friendships, creative pursuits and my debatable sanity. I haven't downloaded pictures from my cameras for a few weeks, and usually, I dump my cards nearly every day. I can't even begin think about planning for our vacation and the holidays. I have almost all the Christmas shopping done, but I still have to wrap everything and make some of the food for when we're gone (my parents are staying here for the duration, but they aren't used to eating on a schedule) and get our Thanksgiving (in lieu of Christmas) cards finished, picture made, letter written, envelopes addressed and mailed and... not to mention find subs for my church commitments. I sure hope this cruise will be worth it, because right now, it just looks like a lot of work.

Not My Grandma

2009-10-27T13:28:00.004-05:00

Mother's Day which was also Grandma's 86th birthday
Gigi, Ella, Tía
Amelia, me, Grandma
Aviana, Brielle, Cora
only woman in our family not pictured, my lovely aunt Barb

Not My Grandma!

Some grandmas sit and stare out the window
hoping forlornly for some company
Not my grandma!
My grandma sits and writes letters
sending her company to us with love

Some grandmas walk with a cane
shuffling along, afraid of falling
Not my grandma!
My grandma hops astraddle a horse
laughing all the while

Some grandmas live in Florida
and play bridge and bingo with old folks
Not my grandma!
My grandma lives with her daughter
and plays Memory with preschoolers even when they cheat

Some grandmas wear ridiculous red hats
with bright red lipstick that doesn't go, bedazzling the world
Not my grandma!
My grandma wears bright purple butterfly tee shirts
with love that is boundless, lighting up for those who matter

Some grandmas go on cruises around the world
and spend their money on men and gin
Not my grandma!
My grandma comes to my house to be with her family
and buys pizza and fried chicken
and overpriced hamburgers

Some grandmas have wrinkles and crow's feet
saggy jowls and bulldog frowns
Not my grandma!
My grandma has skin softer than my baby's bum
feather hands that hold my own
and beautiful brown eyes that crinkle when she laughs

Some grandmas make scratchy sweaters of
hideous colorways and expect
their grandchildren to wear them to school
Not my grandma!
My grandma creates gorgeous quilts of
coordinating colors to snuggle up under and is
amazed when we're delighted with her work

Some grandmas take their grandchildren to
smoky casinos to play the slots or craft shows with endless booths
Not my grandma!
My grandma takes her children to
the ballpark to watch the game and libraries and
church with stained glass windows to the ceiling

Some grandmas are busy with their work,
in a store, in the house, in the garden, working for their worth
Not my grandma!
My grandma notices. Pauses. Stops. Listens. Prays. Hugs.
Her worth is from her God.

She is small with a heart so big
She laughs easily and loves well.
She gives of herself to those in need, those in want, and to those
who don't know what they need or want.
She is patient. She is kind.
She is not self serving.
She is love.
She is no longer of this earth,
but she is enduring.
Her faith. Her love. Her hope.
In me.
I hope.

Daybook --26 October

2009-10-26T00:46:00.005-05:00

To see more daybooks or join in, click on the above picture.

Outside my window... dark--I am writing this at one in the morning. Last I checked it was chilly and raining. Again.

I am thinking... how I'd really like to trade lives with someone else...and then feel guilty about it.

I am thankful for... my dear ever lovin' husband. He loves me at my worst and adores me at my best. And I was not kind to him today.

I am wearing... Grey pants from LLBean, a see-throughish light weight palest pink sweater from Gap, and an Old Navy dove grey sweater coat--bought 2 out of 3 pieces second hand for a song.

I am remembering... I am remembering...

I am going... if all goes as planned, to a children's museum with my cousin and her kids

I am reading... not pictured: Mind Siege--a must read for anyone wondering what in the world is going on these days. Finished Tears in a Bottle--highly recommend;

I am hoping... Monday will be a much better day than Sunday; Sunday was NOT a good day.

I am creating... a poem to help me grieve my grandmother

On my mind...marriage and all it's wonderful and dreadful complexities. Today my ever lovin' husband sternly told me, "It's SO hard being married to a woman!"

From the learning rooms... the usual--books, and more books and "Please, Mama, can we read the encyclopedia?" "Well, sure we can, darlin'!"

Noticing that... I really need to have a tantrum.

Pondering these words... "In my Father's house there are many rooms"...I hope I get the one next to my grandma.

From the kitchen... apple sauce, apple crisp; maybe we can eat that the rest of the week, because otherwise, I have no idea

Around the house... Made our family room more hospitable, considerably tidied up the kitchen

One of my favorite things...chocolate.

From my picture journal...

You are greatly missed, treasured woman, but I'm so glad you've found His arms.

Motherhood is not good for my self-esteem

2009-10-20T16:29:00.003-05:00

Aviana: You know why I'm just sitting here not doing anything?
Me: Why?
Aviana: I'm practicing to be a mama.

********************************************************
Aviana: Mama, what's plump?
Me: It means just a little fat.
Aviana: Oh, like you?
********************************************************
Aviana and Brielle were arguing whether or not balloons were made of paper or plastic. Usually, I just let them work it out, but Miss A was not being kind to her sister. I entered in the fray by contending they were made of neither.

Aviana was not about to concede her position, but finally after much patient (on my part) back and forth, she gave up, saying, "Fine. You can't teach a Sneetch."

What? Am I a Sneetch in this little scenario?

Bless her little innocent heart; she means well. It just doesn't come out that way sometimes.

Daybook 19 October

2009-10-19T14:50:00.004-05:00

To see more daybooks or join in, click on the above picture.

Outside my window... beautiful sunny warmish--THIS is what fall should be like

I am thinking... how well behaved my three year old is when I stake her.

I am thankful for... quiet time--especially when it's quiet
bargains--I had fun yesterday thrifting alone and trying out a new retail store.
Being essentially done with Christmas shopping.

I am wearing... Gap slicky pants, an Iowa State hoodie, and a Cedar Falls Cross-Country long sleeved tee from when I helped coach in college, and yes, I'm actually dressed to the shoes.

I am remembering... fun and laughter with my grandma

I am going... to see all my family this week. Probably. If my grandma dies. She hasn't eaten or drank for 8 days, I don't know how she's still alive. It must be torture for her.

I am reading... A Higher Justice--it's due tomorrow and I've already renewed it! It's good, but I just can't seem to focus on it. Going to get started on Spiritual Mothering, and join in on a Bible study late

I am hoping... Kevin gets a lot done this week so he can stop feeling so stressed about harvest. Although, I'm disgusted how yesterday he combined soybeans and today the house if full of Asian beetles.

I am creating... Thanksgiving/Christmas cards. Combined. Unusual, but I like Thanksgiving better than New Year's.

On my mind...I have no idea--having trouble focusing

From the learning rooms... Weather (they brought one of the books into my bed this morning. First thing of the day, we're reading! Sheesh. Whose kids are these anyway?)

Noticing that... the more sleep I get, the better mood I am in--wild, I know.

Pondering these words...

Matt Redman - You Never Let Go
From the album Passion 06: Everything Glorious

Oh no, You never let go
Through the calm and through the storm
Oh no, You never let go
In every high and every low
Oh no, You never let go
Lord, You never let go of me

From the kitchen... Ham balls, mashed potatoes, pumpkin dessert, yogurt

Around the house... putting away clothes--it seems like I am always putting away clothes.

One of my favorite things... when the baby comes tearing toward me as fast as his little legs can rotate, and throws himself at me, knocking me over and then him chortling at his greatness.

From my picture journal...
Hey Cadrian, what are you doing under there? Oh, searching for and subsequently eating, little bits of shredded cheese? Well, that's ok then. Carry on.

How Sad

2009-10-16T14:12:00.000-05:00

View more news videos at: http://www.nbcwashington.com/video.

Not enough

2009-10-14T14:12:00.003-05:00

Like my farm fresh cup? You know you're jealous.

There is not enough caffeine in this world for today.

I tell ya.

Kevin worked until almost ten last night, but when he got in, he was so jazzed about all the work he had gotten done, he wanted to watch a late night movie with me. And me, turn down time with my Handsome Husband? As if!

We watched Panic Room, which is a really good movie as long as you make sure your TV Guardian is working to mute all the naughty words (which it was) and you close your eyes whenever it looks like someone is going to get shot or beat up (which I do).

I wish I had a panic room, just so I could nap in it.

By the time we went to bed, it was apparently time for Cadrian to start his middle of the night cry fest/ fun fest. Arrgh!

Finally, I escaped to the guest room where I couldn't get back to sleep for what seemed like hours.

I've pretty much let the kids run wild today; not doing any organized activities with them, except the forced labor camp I run here once in a while.

My parents called because Grandma was lucid. They wanted us to talk with her for possibly the last time. It just made me cry.

My living room stinks and I think it's because there is something dead in the duct work.

My camera doesn't seem to be working right.

I can't get warm.

I've got two kids actually asleep and the other behaving herself quietly, and all I can think of to do is obsessively check my inbox and facebook. Dumb.

Any other day, I would be jumping for joy for the chance to read or scrap or watch a girlie movie alone...

Thank God I have Someone to lean on, because today, I don't have enough.

Farm Funnies

2009-10-13T21:18:00.007-05:00

I'm the self appointed comedic relief. I'll call down to the care center where my mom and my aunt are keeping vigil by my grandma's side a couple times a day with gems like these:

Husband: These socks hurt my feet!

Me: What?

Husband: These socks are killing my feet where the seam that I superglued is rubbing in my boot!

Me: What? Why did you superglue your socks?

Husband: YOU won't darn them!

Me: Ohhhhh.

******************************************************************
Brielle: 'Wember what the trees wook wike covered in snow?
Me: What?
Brielle: Wike twees covered in snow!

******************************************************************
Aviana:

We should CELEBRATE that Grandma Leonard gets to go home to be with God. AND! You'll get to be with her when you die. And you'll also get to be with Esther!

******************************************************************

Knock-knock.
Who's there?
Soup.
Soup who?
SUPER AVIANA!!
******************************************************************

The girls know that I absolutely adore the site Cakewrecks and that it makes me laugh out loud every. single. time. They totally don't understand why it's so funny, but they love to laugh. They'll both crowd onto me and say things like, "Wook at that wedding cake! It's sooooo funny!" (and it isn't) or "Oooh, I wike that pwetty butterfly!" (and it very much isn't!) or "May I have a tea party take?" (ummmm...NO!) And all their commentary makes me laugh all the more.

Today Brielle was ~~tied to her bed~~ having quiet time and heard me in on the computer, cackling to myself. She commenced a fit; "I want to see the pretty wedding takes! I want to see the pwetty wedding takes!!"

Well, I got the better of her. I wasn't even laughing because I was on Cakewrecks. So there, little three year old. Ha!
************************************************************
Aviana put a blanket over the lid of the toy box which is balanced between the couch and the toy box. She crawls in to her little cave and says, "I just want to be left alone. Just let me be alone in my new claim shanty. This is my new claim shanty."

As her little brother pulls on the blanket and ruins the house, she says, "Rats. Well, I guess a little girl only five years old can't be expected to build a very sturdy claim shanty."

Daybook October 12

2009-10-12T18:56:00.004-05:00

Outside my window... dreary grey chilly

I am thinking... grieving makes me bake

I am thankful for... KNOWING what happens after death

I am wearing... broken in Gap jeans, a favorite long sleeved tee with my MOPS fleece over it

I am remembering... fun and laughter with my grandma

I am going... to get my first knitting project done this week. Or this month. Probably.

I am reading... Puzzle of Ancient Man

I am hoping... to mourn well

I am creating... A new version of this book. It came in the mail as part of the Dolly Parton Imagination Library. It has beautiful illustrations and is multicultural. It is poetic and depicts the lives of eight children from different countries throughout their day. However, it is quite odd in that it "thanks" the sun for waking, the sky for being, the clouds for billowing, the trees for reaching. WHAT?!

How can anyone honestly thank the created inanimate entities for doing what God created them to do?

I wrote a new poem and armed with spray adhesive and my printout, changed all the words.Our new book starts out, "Thank you, God, for the sun, waking me in the morning and coloring the sky. Thank you, God, for the sky, begging me to touch it, when I'm swinging high." And ends with "Thank you God, for Mama and Dada who're giving kisses, saying prayers, and tucking me in tight. And thank you, God for nighttime. I know You're in the shadows and everything's all right."

There. That's better.

On my mind... how the degeneration of this world equals great loss.

From the learning rooms... animal secrets, great improvements (like electricity and running water)

Noticing that... The number of hand towels to bath towels is oddly disproportionate.

Pondering these words...
But in my mind’s eye I can see a place
Where Your glory fills every empty space.
All the cancer is gone,
Every mouth is fed,
And there’s no one left in the orphans’ bed.
Every lonely heart finds their one true love,
And there’s no more goodbye,
And no more not enough,
And there’s no more enemy (no more).

From Steven Curtis Chapman's gorgeous single Heaven is the Face

From the kitchen... Yeast sweet rolls, apple crisp, baked spaghetti casserole

Around the house... already cleaned up from my baking spurt

One of my favorite things... nursing

From my picture journal...

A day

2009-10-08T20:18:00.002-05:00

It's funny--I was posting on a forum about my day. My day can be summed up in about 5 sentences. Maybe less, maybe more, depending on who I'm talking to and how well they listen.

Started the day practically head ache free, and if you had any idea how much PAIN the last few days have been, that's really saying something. Aviana and I went to a historical village and then to McDonald's Playplace with a friend. We stopped at a store; she's a great little shopping partner. After picking up the littles from my in-laws', we had some all together quiet time. We played some card games together, made cookies together, and read together. They went to bed.

I can't begin to sum up how annoyed I was when I dropped my coffee and it splatter BOTH of the girls all over the backs of their matching shirts before we'd even left the house.

I can't begin to summarize how enamored I was, holding hands with my five year old as we strolled around the historical village together, talking big girl talk.

I can't even describe how much I loved having my preschooler run outside barefoot on this chilly day to greet me with a ginormous hug.

I couldn't tell you the depth of my heartache talking on the phone to my grandma who sounded far past muddled because of all the meds she is on in the hospital.

I can't fathom how to describe the outpouring of emotion that overcame me reading the heartfelt letter from one of our fellow "Samaritans" in Samaritan's Ministry, who sent our check back, praising God their medical bills had already been paid!

I can't begin to tell you how mirthfully sweet it is seeing Aviana in the new coat I got her. She's an adorably innocent cross between a pimp and a Muppet.

I can't possibly talk about how amazing it is seeing my toddler rush toward me when a gleam in his eye, and start signing to try and describe all the things he's seeing and learning.

And still, even after trying to describe this day a little, I still can't.

Daybook

2009-10-05T21:53:00.005-05:00

FOR TODAY...5 October 2009

Outside my window... dark, but it was a beautiful day! I can' t seem to get on the 'puter during the day any more.

I am thinking...rats--the hubs just came home; no more hogging the 'puter, and I'm not done yet!

I am thankful for...early bedtimes

I am wearing... purple plaid jammas, and my purple robe

I am remembering...the good times with my Grandma

I am creating...title pages for my albums--I usually just do two page layouts so it's been fun whipping out the one pagers

I am going...to see some friends this week

I am reading...a James Scott Bell novel--pretty good!

I am hoping...my grandma can get out of the hospital and will live a high quality remainder of life

On my mind...my family

From the learning rooms...oceans, waves, currents

Noticing that...I am getting into these "routines" and my home is better for it.

Pondering these words...He who laughs--lasts. ~Wilfred Peterson

From the kitchen... chili, cornbread, quesadillas

Around the house...general upkeep--getting my fall clothes out of the bin and into the closet (a project I started several days ago)

One of my favorite things...having a lie in

A few plans for the rest of the week...reuniting with my MOPS friends, lunch at a friend's, Kevin's band gig, to the movies with my husband IF it rains and IF we can get a babysitter

From my picture journal...

Sunday

2009-10-04T13:56:00.002-05:00

Church--good. It's been a month! I was sick last week and the previous two weeks I was working in the toddler room. I miss corporate worship!

Brunch--good. We are cutting back--we had been ordering pizza every Friday night. Now it's frozen. We had been going out to a local family restaurant every Sunday after church. The girls always had the Early Bird Special. Now we make the homemade Early Bird Special--today it was malted banana pancakes, eggs and bacon.

Story time--good. We are on our 8th-9th week of kindergarten, except in our Bible. We are "behind" where the curriculum says we ought to be, so I'm trying to read double a day.

Quiet time--good. I'm doing some fun searching around online, and updating our homeschool binder for our next quarter.

Weather--good. The sun is out today for the first time in weeks. I hung clothes out to dry for the first time in weeks! Actually, not clothes, diapers, cloth diapers. My goal is to use cloth diapers at least 2/3 of the time, thereby saving around $400 over the next year.

So, right now at least, it's all good.

What's up?

2009-10-01T18:51:00.004-05:00

I have had a case of the blogging blahs. I think I like to do too many things. And blogging doesn't lend itself well to sharing. And with a limited, v.e.r.y limited amount of 'free' time, I just can't do everything I like to do. I can't knit and blog. I can't read and blog. I can't read other people's blogs, update my facebook status, or mess around on eBay and blog. I certainly can't scrapbook, bake or do school and blog. I have been spending an inordinate amount of time writing preschool lessons for the preschool teachers we've hired for our MOMS group. There's also the coordinating, typing, emailing and whatever else I spend so much time on for MOMS group.

Have I mentioned MOMS group? We just had our third meeting today. It went really well, and I didn't feel so frazzled at the end of the morning as I did the previous two. God laid it on my heart to start a MOPS group at my church, since it has been such a blessing to me, and meant SO much to me, some time ago. When I finally accepted His challenge, I somehow ended up in charge. I don't really feel that my gifts lie so much in the administrative arena; I'm way too social and a bit of a flutterbudget, but He is helping me get better. We had an introduction meeting, a speaker on discipline, and today's speaker was on Smart Spending.

I got some good ideas, and I was challenged to go back to cloth diapers. (I'll probably start that tomorrow, AFTER story hour.) On the whole though, I felt like God was giving me a thumb's up in that area. I used to have a serious, ahem, shall we say, money problem? I would see something I wanted, and I would buy it. Whether I had the money or not. And I usually didn't. But now, even though we don't "budget", we know where the money goes each month because we put everything on the same credit card, which we faithfully pay off. It has really helped us see where the money is going and where we need to cut back, and really, we can all cut back. Anyway, a lot of our speakers suggestions were ones I already do. I had no idea I was really so frugal, or cheap, depending on your point of view.

So MOMS group is taking up some time, and I've been pretty harried lately by the end of the day. I can't really rub two coherent sentences together by the time the chittlins are in bed, and can only get on the 'puter in short bursts during the day. Kevin has been working late. A lot. And we haven't even started harvest. Today he mostly took off work since it was about 40º and raining fishheads and hammerhooks; I didn't realize how much I have been doing alone. Our marriage has grown much in the last seven years, because I am no longer resentful, or make the family compete with the farm. I have a greater sense of security. He's got a lot of irons in the fire and he isn't choosing work over us, he is providing for us, and loving us by doing so. It has taken a lot of prayer to be comfortable with that bit of insight, believe you me.

Random photo of my favorites that has nothing whatsoever to do with this monologue

At this rate, and with this weather, he is serious that we may not be done with harvest by the time we leave on our cruise ind December. Have I mentioned the cruise? It was all his idea. And he booked it all and lined up my parents to stay with the children, with his parents pinch hitting as necessary. I'm beyond excited.

I'm also really a little hesitant-tense-nervous. Cadrian, 14 months, isn't weaned yet, or sleeping through the night. The girls are already a bit anxious about when we are leaving them. We had to drastically curtail their sleepovers at Grandma's because they just couldn't handle that much change of routine, so I have no idea how well they will deal with us being gone for 10 days. It'll be great for me though!

That's about the bare minimum of what is up with me. The day to day that keeps me hoppin' and falling into sleep exhausted and up several times a night, and outings, plans, trips to look forward to; that about sums up what's up.