Mimi Writes.......

The Queen's Meme ~ Do Handcuffs Hurt?

2009-07-14T16:50:00.000Z

Welcome to our first edition of The Queen's Meme.
It's exciting to start a fresh new meme in the blogosphere.

I've had a busy day cooking up questions and trying not to get arrested for....for....that's a secret. Feel free to join in!

No. 1 ~ The Blog Outside The Box Meme

This meme is all about using your imagination. Step outside the proverbial blox (that's blog + box for all you non-blog speakers) and free your inner blogginess. Answer these ~~ridiculous~~ situational questions and post them on your own blog. Here's the situation for today. We won't tell a soul. And remember: Don't end up in the dungeon.

1. You are in court. You are in deep doo-doo. What did you do?

I said doo-doo on my blog.
Do handcuffs hurt?

2. Your blog just became a best-selling book .What is the title of the book?

Blwar and Peace: The Rise and Fall of a Queen In Deep Doo-Doo

3. It is midnight. The phone rings. It is Michael Jackson calling from the Great Beyond. What would you like to ask him?

First, I would get a tape recorder. A dumb Queen I am not. Then I would ask him if he sees clouds or flames. Then I would request that he sing "A B C" over the loud speaker in Heaven. THEN I'd go outside to listen.

Why waste his minutes?

4. You are having your future told. The fortune teller looks in the crystal ball, screams and leaves the room in fright.

What did she see?

Me in the kitchen

5. You're blogging along minding your own blusiness (that's blog + oh...you know) when Google unexpectedly puts a Objectionable Content Warning on your blog. Your own mother is afraid to enter! What, pray tell, did you do to warrant it? How did this happen?Just how objectionable can you be? Do tell.

Who wrote these questions??! Google doesn't "unexpectedly" do anything. So that means that one of you reported me for saying d--d-- and they closed the Castle. Granted, my own mother has never heard me say d--d-- but that's beside the point. What else could it be? Oh! It must be the blogger who called me a "terrorism" this morning when they saw the dungeon picture. And she is so going to the dungeon!!!

These handcuffs are wreaking havoc with my nails.

6. You suddenly become God Of The Universe. What would your first Commandment be?

Would it kill ya to leave a comment? I have all this time on my hands now since my profanity arrest. I need the company.

7. And finally, what secret would you like to tell the Queen?
Not to worry. What happens in Bloggingham, stays in Bloggingham.

(She's in a very bad mood....I'll be gentle)
"You have to do more than say doo doo five times on your blog to get a content warning, my Queen. We all know you've had a rough day trying to launch a meme in handcuffs without breaking a nail. But let's face it, Your Highness, the dark side just isn't your style. You go take a nice long bath and when you get out, I'll teach you to cuss like a real lady."

OK, Homer. But can you get me out of these first?

I think they'd make very nice earrings....

Monday Mimisms: Two For The Price Of One

2009-07-13T11:00:00.000Z

I thought it was high time the Queen of Memes had her own meme site.

It's called...

I cordially invite you to play. Starting tomorrow. Seven royal questions. Every Tuesday. I just checked and there are nearly 60 comments from folks lined up waiting to play. Oh my word! I'd better come up with some good questions or I'll be in big trouble. Hope to see you there or ELSE........

Don't let this happen to you!

ALSO...

2. I'm delighted to show you the video I've been working on for BlogBlast For Peace.

It went live on YouTube last week. Please feel free to share it on your blogs (thank you Shannon and Dawn and Ferd).It would help if you could Twit the link and share it on Facebook as well. Thank you to Nick and Billie for making it a "Favorite" on YouTube and rating it with five stars. Thanks to Bud, Ferd, Julie, Travis, Margo, Dawn for helping me edit and giving me feedback. I appreciate that.

I hope you like it!

What say ye, O Peace Bloggers?

Please pass it on!

There's also a shorter version here.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gXb5YTxq-Ls

This is Mimi Pencil Skirt reporting live from the lovely land of memes and peace.

Swimming Lessons

2009-07-12T22:12:00.002Z

You're gonna make me do what?

Jump, Baby Boy, just jump.

Our Father which art In Heaven....

1....2....3!!

He made a big splash but missed the

float

I waited for the rescue.

I sinked.

You sank.

I sinked!

You sank.

I sinked!!

OK, Baby Boy. I saw you. You definitely sinked.

I am never doing that again, Mimi.
Why?

'Cause I sinked.

Sunday Stealing: I Hope Judd Forgives Me.....

2009-07-12T14:22:00.000Z

...for doing last Sunday's meme instead of today's. I was away last week and missed the "I've Come To Realize" meme. Hope you like it.

1. I’ve come to realize that my chest-size. . . The nerve!

2. I’ve come to realize that my job. . . as Queen Mimi Pencil Skirt is exhausting! Do you know how many blogs there are?

3. I’ve come to realize that when I’m driving. . . I should really keep my head in the car window.

A girl could get upside down that way.

4. I’ve come to realize that I need. . . at least a hundred pair of flip flops this summer. It's insane!

5. I’ve come that realize that I have lost. . . half of the flip flops

6. I’ve come to realize that I hate it when. . . I lose flip flops. Maybe they fell out the car window.

7. I’ve come to realize that if I’m drunk. . . that would be quite unusual but I suppose it could be arranged. I'll get back to you on that. Where's the Godiva?

8. I’ve come to realize that money... is the result of working and I like it.

9. I’ve come to realize that certain people. . . are going to find my flip flop answer vain and irrelevant to the suffering and seriousness we face in the world around us. Let me clarify that. Ahem. "I personally believe...that every hungry child should have a pair of flip flops." Better?

10. I’ve come to realize that sometimes.....I just need to hear him say, "I remember" - nothing more, nothing less.

11. I’ve come to realize that my sibling(s). . . don't view my Queenship quite like you do.

12. I’ve come to realize that my mom… Ask me tomorrow after the Godiva

13. I’ve come to realize that my cell phone. . . is haunted

14. I’ve come to realize that when I woke up this morning. . . I could make it any kind of day I wanted.
So I colored myself. Pick a mood. Any mood.

15. I’ve come to realize that last night before I went to sleep. . . it was waaaayyyy too early this morning (life is good)

16. I’ve come to realize that right now I am thinking. . . unbloggable things just 'cause you made me think about what I was thinking about. You mind reader you!

17. I’ve come to realize that my dad. . . would tell me to keep my hands on the wheel

18. I’ve come to realize that when I get on Facebook. . . I'm going to be bombarded with plant gifts, hug me requests and somewhere, some stranger from God only knows where is going to want to kiss me and ask me to play weird games I know nothing of. People! Just be my friend and call it a day.

19. I’ve come to realize that today. . .is full of imagination

20. I’ve come to realize that tonight. . . I've got the Bloggingham Blues.

21. I’ve come to realize that tomorrow. . . is another day of Nitrous Oxide in the dentist chair. I lead a blessed life.

22. I’ve come to realize that I really want to. . . have a fling with a Bolivian sword swallower

23. I’ve come to realize that the person mostly likely to repost this is. . . the millions of memers who do Sunday Stealing every week. Have you seen that blogroll?

24. I’ve come to realize that life. . . is sometimes looking backwards with 20/20 vision and going forward without the blur

25. I’ve come to realize that this weekend. . . has been full of lovely surprises

26. I’ve realized the best music to listen to when I am upset. . . Sarah McLachlan's live Mirrorball album

27. I’ve come to realize that my friends. . . sometimes find me irritatingly chatty.

28. I’ve come to realize that this year. . . is a gift.

29. I’ve come to realize that my exes. . . are polar opposites in every respect.

30. I’ve come to realize that maybe I should. . . introduce them to each other

31. I’ve come to realize that I love. . . 4 am.

32. I’ve come to realize that I don’t understand. . . how love leaves

33. I’ve come to realize my past. . . is way past past but rich with insight

34. I’ve come to realize that parties. . . are making a comeback in my life

35. I’ve come to realize that I’m totally terrified. . . of falling out of my car

36. I’ve come to realize that my life. . . . is a series of falls and a whole bunch of band aids.
I am head over heels in love with all of it.

P.S. I just threw in the sword swallower to see if you were paying attention. See #22

A Half-Lived Girl In A Polka Dot Dress

2009-07-09T22:29:00.001Z

I had just come from an out-of-town funeral.

I had dead people on the brain.
One of you should have stopped me.

I knew the place. I knew it well. More than twenty-five years had passed. Still, I knew it well.

Now before you think I randomly descend upon properties unannounced with my camera and notepad ~~I so do that~~ and risk trespassing incarceration, let me explain.

And besides, Monet had an impression to paint in the door glass above (don't you see it?) It was a sign.

And I had a story to tell.

I called the previous tenant ~~who was not the owner my first mistake~~ to see if anyone would mind my nosy news skirt and he said, "No. No one has lived there in years. Just be careful." I hoped they wouldn't mind. It was literally a mile off the highway, thick brush and cornfield roads, and I, in my funeral clothes which were anything but black, a loaded camera...

and memories

I'd laughed in this house. Cried in this house. Seen death in this house. Sang in this house. Weddings. Wakes. Parties. New Year's. Christmas trees in each room in this house. Kissed by the fire in this house.

Climbed the mahogany stairs in this house.

Loved in this house.

Oh I knew there were ghosts, real and imagined, floating about in the oak trees above, peeking through the broken windows and cobwebs. Briars and snake grass, dilapidated steps and peeling paint, rotten boards, sagging roof. It bore little resemblance to the beautiful sprawling old 2-story home with real wooden floors and an elegant polished staircase. The lady of the house kept it spotless she did. The rose bushes had died and all the flowers - almost - were but a whiff on the breeze in my mind. I wanted, I needed....to find some.

And besides, have you ever known me to run from a memory?

Look....just look....what I found.

You know I had to.

It had been waiting all these years for my return.

For one afternoon I was eighteen.

...sitting under the protection of my wise and omnipresent friend whose careful watchful wisdom transcended the quiet diversion my life's journey took.

We knew each other well. Steady. Wise. Massive. Strong. Listening. Absorbing. Affirming. Holding me and my swing and my memories just fine.
Old friends always do.

Don't ask me how but I know we heard the music up the creaky old stairs and I danced a dance of memory bold while he nodded and witnessed the precarious passing of time through the eyes of a half-lived girl in a polka dot dress

who knows that she knows that the most important tentacles never change and that somehow the girl is still laughing in that polished house and always will 'cause love buried down that deep never goes too far.

She still looked familiar standing in the Monet. Eons of time .....opening and closing, fleeing and finding.

I knew her. I knew her well. Maybe all had changed.

Except the strength of the trees

the smell of the bark

the swish of my skirt

And roots

that go deep in my heart

Welcome To My Cloud

2009-07-01T22:50:00.000Z

Time for a blogvation. Be back shortly.

Homer is in charge while I'm gone. Send all comments to him.

I'll try to stay out of trouble.

Or not.

Monday Mimisms: Mr. Dreamy and The Birdman

2009-06-29T21:01:00.008Z

"Miss Pencil Skirt, you will sing the Mozart."
"I will sing the Mozart what? "
"You will sing First Lady in the Mozart....

"The Magic Flute First Lady?"

"But I didn't audition for the First Lady, Second Lady or even Third!! "

"But..

"Miss Pencil Skirt, you will sing the First Lady in the Magic Flute."

Alrighty then.

While I've previously told the beginnings of this tale in other blog posts, I never led you down the most embarrassing rabbit hole. Sure I got stuck in the ladies room while socialites eating Chicken Cordon Bleu waited on the soprano-that-never-was. Sure I nearly caused the conductor to have a stroke right then and there in his black and white choker thing. Sure I slid out of a pick-up truck in a black puffy evening gown in downtown metropolis just in the nick of time to arrive for the downbeat (oops, no I never told that one)....and all because of the Magic Flute and my propensity for coloratura.
And more ditz than any soprano ought be born with.

It's a gift.
"But ne'er did I tell - until today - of the day I led the first act of Mozart's masterpiece down an I-Love-Lucy trail of comedy that wasn't in the score.
This time I heard, "Miss Pencil Skirt, the Flute quintet will be the guinea pigs for the new opera director's audition master class on Tuesday. He would like to get a position at this school. Just follow his direction. You will sing First Lady."

Here we go again.

I never knew in these instances if he truly chose the best singers, someone chose the short straw, or if he knew my participation in said master class audition would present the candidate with sufficient "challenges" ....shall we say. Trial by fire? Send Pencil Skirt.

Today I would be singing a coloratura role with my usual shades of ever-changing lyric soprano - with an F above high C thank you very much - for the poor soul who had to direct me and my crew. And his job depended on my ability to follow his direction and his ability to figure out how he was going to best dole it out. He needed to impress. I needed to pay attention.
And it didn't help my pencil brain any that Mr. Opera Candidate was drop-dead gorgeous and dripping with charisma. I was a tad distracted you might say.

(He looked a bit like Belgian director Nicholas Lens seen here but I digress.)

Where was I?

You see, it is the God-given duty of the First Lady to present the "magic flute" to the Prince. Not the Duke, not the Earl, Not the Duchess, Not even the Queen of the Night. She gets to sing "The Vengeance Of Hell Boils In My Heart" (doesn't that sound divine??!) while hanging in the air in all her glory. See?

I so hated her.

I didn't get to do the fun stuff like that.
I just had to pass the flute to Prince Tamino. That was my job. It was bad enough that Mozart named his characters nearly identically and some were females portraying males and some were males portraying birds (!) There was Pamina. Pamino. Tamina. Tamino. Filipino. Filipina. And Palamino (I just made those last 3 up.)

How was I supposed to keep all that straight??! But we all knew who had the most important part, don't we?
That's right. Moi.

And I took it seriously. I had the sole responsibility of forwarding the storyline by ceremoniously presenting the subject of the entire opera (the magic flute that can change men's hearts) to the Prince - who stood on my left.

And that's exactly what I intended to do.

After about fourteen changes in direction and a couple of winks from Director Dreamy I finally held the flute in my hand. I sang my part. I flourished. I climbed the scale. I skipped scales altogether. I made up scales. I relished. I embellished. I tripped tra-la-las. I sang. I smiled. And then I turned.

To the right.

And what do I see? Papageno The Birdman - who is in a cage covered from head to toe with bird feathers on his hands and knees with a large padlock glued to his mouth for telling a lie. You'd think I'd get a clue but nooooo.....So I presented the marvelous magic flute to The Birdman "Papageno" who cannot accept it because he's a little busy with the padlock and chains.

I am not in the clip below. This is UCONN's 2007 Magic Flute Quintet. At about marker 1:30 I made my blunder except she was going in the wrong - or right -direction, depending on her level of common sense.

Where was I? (which is a question I should have long ago asked...)
Picture this: He had no hands with which to receive said flute. The poor baritone on his knees could only grunt and motion with his eyes and head for me to turn around. I thought he was acting very strangely indeed.

Oh. But I did not care.

I sang. I flourished. I scaled. I climbed. I soared. I was full of myself I was.

Oh. Did I tell you that the entire music faculty looked upon this spectacle of brilliance? Not one of my professors, not two, not three, not four....but all of them.

And The Dean.

Can someone say bye-bye music scholarship?

Well, after about 30 seconds of disgust and and amazement from the doomed director and the singer who somehow managed not to swallow the prop in his mouth, the accompanist stopped playing and the entire room broke into laughter. It was a moment.

And one I never want to live again.
Baritone bird had a word of prayer with me right then and there . "Didn't it give you a clue, Miss Pencil Skirt, that I was on my knees in a cage? Do I look like a Prince to you??!" ....

He did have a point.

By then the entire cast lost focus and nearly fell in the floor laughing - including me. Who knew there was comedy in the middle of Act I?

And to think that I am still looking for my Prince.

Some things never change.

Hot Off The Bloggingham Stove: Fighting for peace is like blogging for virginity

2009-06-28T15:00:00.000Z

Sunday Stealing: The ABC Meme (Round 2)

A – An advantage you have – I'm a Queen.

B – Blue or brown eyes – Brown

C – Chore you hate – I don't do chores. I told you I'm a Queen.

D – Dad’s name – He-Who-Fathered-Queen (it's Cherokee)

E – Essential start of your day – It's always a good day when I wake up.

F – Favorite color – Moonlight

G – Greatest thing you’ve ever done that made you feel really good – This question requires a highly developed sense of narcissism and self-importance to even answer it. Where would such a person be found?

H – Habit you have – From the opera Suor Angelica in the year 2525 way back in the day when I wore such things. Somewhere there's a pic wearing the French maid costume for another such occasion. But you didn't ask that question. Too bad.

I – Issue you hate that the world tries to make you pursue – Giving out personal information in public. Isn't it enough that I tell them I'm a Queen. But no. They want identification, dates, addresses, tattoos ~~I so don't have one~~ . But if I did, it would say

Does this come off?

J – Job title – Ruler of The Universe. Just your average BlogQueen.

K – Kohls or Target – Why? Are we going?

L – Living arrangements – To live as long as possible if that can be arranged.

M – Music you like – Mimi's music in the sidebar. Can't you hear it? Now playing "Chopsticks On a Windy Day" by Rachmaninoff.

N - Nicknames – O-She-Who-Forgets-To-Turn-Off-The-Stove (it's Cherokee)

O – Overnight hospital stay – Depends on the room service. There are overnight hospitals? Who knew??! Do they have a pool?

P – Pet Peeve – Hospitals with no swimming pools

Q – Quote that you like most – "Fighting for peace is like blogging for virginity." No. No. That's not right. "Blogging for peace is like fighting for virginity."

That's it. Isn't it?

R – Right or left handed – You put your right hand in, you put your right out, you put your right hand in and you shake it all about.

S– Siblings – Rivalry.
Password! Your turn.

T – Time you wake up – After I go to bed

U – Underwear – "Virgins for peace is like fighting for war."
Are we back to that again?

V – Vegetable you dislike – Chex Mix. It looks nothing like the box when you cook it. That is false advertising if you ask me.

W – What makes you run late –
Sale signs at the mall

X – X-rays you’ve had –
It would be easier to list x-rays I haven't had.
None.

Y – Yummy food you make – Behold pic above taken two hours ago when I started this meme.

True story: I love it when a plan comes together. Hot off the Bloggingham stove. I am sitting at the kitchen table finishing this meme. I get to Y.

I smell something. Something weird. I see a wisp of smoke in the direction of the stove where I am happily creating a ~~disaster~~ snack. These were supposed to be homemade Chex Mix thingies with garlic and butter and stuff. I made the recipe up myself. I set the oven for 10 minutes at ~~something higher than I should~~ and voila! a meme answer appeared.

I hear charcoal is good for the digestive tract.

Want some?

Z – Zoo animal – Polar bears.

I'm hungry.

And It Cuts Like A Knife ~ Michael Jackson (1958 - 2009)

2009-06-27T11:30:00.001Z

When his voice was young and pure and his life not so tortured, I remember this emotion packed performance. I suppose his passing seems all the more tragic because we watched him grow up before our eyes - from a boy to a man and back to child it seemed.

Eccentric, he was. Electric, he was.

Ever ever evolving, he was.

But then again, aren't we all.

My favorite Michael Jackson song is "You Are Not Alone" shown below. In the short video clip from the Copenhagen History Tour in 1997, Jackson gives an a cappella improvised ending for his fans.

The lyrics remind me that love can cross miles and distance

and even bittersweet goodbyes

Rest in peace.

The questions for tomorrow's Samantha's Saturday 9 are about those entertainers the world lost this week. Stop by and play.

Mimi In A Minute #16 ~ Digital Smigital

2009-06-25T11:00:00.001Z

These things keep me up at night.They give me a headache.I just need sixty seconds of your time to unclog my pencil brain so that I can get some sleep. Do you mind?

I have a few things to say.

This is Mimi unplugged.
Hide your children.

Did you make the switch?: Don't you know it's really the government placing an embedded chip in our collective living rooms to watch us?

Didn't you read Toffler's Future Shock in high school?

('cept it backfired. I now have less channels than before)

Even the President can't figure it out. See??

To the bunny with the glasses: Tell me it wasn't the nuclear code.

To the Iranian vote counters:

All 40 million votes count.

Mark Sanford, Republican governor of South Carolina went missing this week.
All they had to do was ask Homer.

Even Homer knows you can't get to Argentina by way of the Appalachian Trail in the Atlanta airport

To the Powers-That-Be: The world is watching for possible missile throwing by North Korea this week. This is serious business.
If I don't get my TV on soon I won't know that the sky is falling.

I'm so sorry I put myself on the Do Not Call list.

Will one of you please call me??!

To the South Carolina newspaper who "obtained" correspondence between the Governor and his mistress: Shame on you. I do not believe that private emails should be thrown on the altar of public fodder. (And besides, this should greatly strain relations with Argentina. We're in a boatload of trouble as it is. If they can't trust us with their mail, then how in the world can they trust us with their sugarcane crop!)

Please. Think of the poptarts.

To the boat carrying the suspicious materials from North Korea:

Turn around.

We're back to Governor Sanford ~~well really it's all about me big surprise~~ I am tired of hearing about your love life and it's only been 12 hours. If I can't have a secret rendezvous love life, nobody can!! And besides, if your wife sues you for alienation of affection we might never balance the federal budget. Politics and love are related ya know. Or so I've heard...

To now-very tired-of hearing-from-me-Governor-Sanford:

The entire world does not need to hear the details.
Really. Go.Find.A.Priest.

And while I'm at it!! Why is your infidelity apologizable to the masses?

Oh.

Digital Smigital!!!! I still have no TV. And it is interfering with my Internet connection.

I vote we reinstate the trusty smoke signals. At least I could watch The Lone Ranger.

Whew! I feel better. Thanks for listening. Sixty seconds flew by.
I think my blogsomnia is cured.
Lights out.
Images: Public Domain

"Finding Peace In a Rage-Filled World" with Guest Blogger Lee

2009-06-24T12:00:00.002Z

Today's post was titled and written by Lee, who writes the popular blog Tarheel Ramblings. Ever heard of the meme Sunday Scenery? That's Lee's brainchild. I found his thoughts to be inspiring and honest. I think you will too. Thank you, Lee, for graciously allowing me to reprint your article.

Finding Peace In A Rage-Filled World

As I skimmed the news this morning, I was struck by amount of turmoil that is wracking our world. In Tehran, Iran, the Supreme Leader is railing against the “lies” that he blames for the massive protests taking place there. In North Korea, it appears there are plans being made for further missal tests. And in Somalia, the government is under attack from Islamic extremists. Not to mention the continuing violence in Afghanistan and Iraq that looks to be endless.

Blogblast For Peace is about five months away, and at that time bloggers around the world will be posting their continued hope that peace can somehow become a reality in this world. Yet, I wonder how that can ever happen with the current state of affairs. Sometimes, it seems to me that there is too much dividing humanity to ever be able to find common ground. The Conservatives can’t stand the Liberals, Islamic extreemists will settle for nothing less than anhialation of “infadels,” white supremicists will tolerate no concessions to those they consider inferior, and it goes on and on. With attitudes of intolerance and hate, how can the world ever know peace? And how are these feelings overcome?

My Perspective

Since my background is Christian, I tend to view the world situation through that filter. If I look at what my faith has taught me, the answer comes through LOVE. In other words, peace will be found when humanity puts a higher priority on the welfare of others first. As a child I was taught that you win over other people by “killing them with kindness” which brings about a change of heart. It’s difficult to hate someone who puts your interests above their own. And sometimes that means conceding a point even when you feel you’re right, or giving up the need to be heard in the interest of hearing someone else.

I’m not an expert on world religions, but these same Christian principles are not unique to followers of Christ. The little bit I do know of other faiths is that concern for those less fortunate is a common theme in every religious philosophy that I am aware of. At least the most common ones. If the world could agree to focus on common ground, rather than differences, I believe that there could be progress toward peace.

Knowing what I know about the nature of human beings, though, I know that such a change of attitude is not going to happen quickly or easily. My Christian background tells me that everything I experience in this life is preparation for what will come in the next life. And more and more, the main lesson I glean from my experience is that I can accomplish very little on my own accord. It is only through the grace and love of a higher power, that I call God, that I am able to grow and become a better person.

I know there are many that will deny the existance of God, or any Intelligent Creator. In their estimation, when this life is over, it’s over. They will tell you that human nature is what it is, and the planet is ultimately doomed to the excesses that come from that nature. I flatly refuse to accept that pessimistic approach. I have seen and experienced too much that convinces me that there is a force at work that is much bigger than I am, and it doesn’t occur by accident.

I will never be so arrogant as to assume that the Christian faith is the source of all truth. Or even that my particular brand of Christian theology has all the right answers. To do so would put me in the company of those who feel that their answers are the only answers. Maybe that is the secret of finding common ground. Because to assume that one has all the answers when it comes to God is to put oneself on the same level with God. I know two things with a fair amount of certainty: 1. There is a god, and 2. I’m not God.

Join Blogblast For Peace

On November 5th, I will be joining other bloggers around the world in posting my Peace Globe, and writing a post expressing my hope and desire for peace. I hope you will join with us in your own posts and expressions of hope. By doing so, you will help me and the rest of the blogosphere reflect on what peace means and take a step toward realizing that goal. You can visit the Blogblast for Peace website here to get more information on participating and creating your Peace Globe.

Lee's November 2008 peace globe in honor of his granddaughter, Lilly. Click the globe to read his beautiful tribute to her.

Image: Cromacom

Guess Who's Coming To Dinner?

2009-06-24T02:58:00.002Z

Why do I need a lawn mower when I have these guys?
There were four of them. Right at dinnertime tonight.

Eating dandelions.

I tried the zoom lens through the kitchen screen without making a sound. Come on, guys!
Turn around.

They were magnificent!

I had to go outside.
I needed to get closer.

I know I should have asked this question before I went outside but none of you left me your phone numbers...

Deer won't charge and attack, will they?

Round the corner of the deck I sloooowwwwlllly moved and there she was!

The best shot EVER. I was so excited!!
This is what happens when Mimi can't focus the camera.

I said a very unQueenly thing.

It is apparent that I don't know how to zoom.

Hey! What 'cha doin' Lady?

And then they ran away

Whew. At least I didn't have to run.

Monday Mimisms: Doing The Alphabet With My Feet

2009-06-22T23:45:00.000Z

I never knew my toes could be so educational. It stirred my cranium to new heights of cerebral gymnastics.
I thought I'd share the wealth.

Have you ever wondered.....

If ants are tired of the racially-charged ant farm stereotype and would really love to move to ant condos?

What happens when blogs die?

If you dream that you eat an entire chocolate cake, will you weigh more in the morning?

Why do all the light bulbs burn out in one room at the same time?

and Who WHOOOO created apostrophes?!!

With all this time on my hands, my mind is turning and churning - brilliantly, I might add - like buttermilk on a lamp post. (Eureka! That was brilliant!) It'll take me all day to research the answers to these - and more - burning questions.

So I went for a walk to rest my cranium.

These fell down in the rain (better them than me)
Waiting to be picked. Or not.

That's enough walking for today.

Back to the alphabet.

A...

B...

C...

Wait a minute.

I wonder if it's better for your "sole" to do the alphabet in Spanish?
I'd better call my doctor.

uno... dos.. tres..cuatro...

I told you I was brilliant.

The Finish The Sentence Meme

2009-06-21T18:20:00.005Z

Intrigue! Intrigue! Oh, who cares?

Who really needs to know about the closet anyway...

1. I've come to realize that my last kiss....... was a complete surprise. Who knew it would be the last??! (I'm talking to you guitar-player)

2. I am listening to........the love gods laughing at the answer to #1

3. I talk.........in my sleep

4. I love........without expectations (how's that working for me? Don't ask.)

5. My best friend.......and I will be sharing a girl's night out together soon. Somebody send bail money.

6. My first real kiss......was in a closet playing Spin The Bottle. That's really pathetic now that I think about it.

7. Love is.......always in my rear view mirror.

8. Marriage is......over. Amen.

9. Somewhere, someone is thinking.....how did Mimi get so jaded in just 8 questions?

10. I'll always.....be grateful for divorce.

11. The last time I really cried was because...... I couldn't think how to pencil skirt this question without out-and-out lying so I read the love and marriage answers and cried to have an answer. What I won't do for a meme.

12. My cell phone.....is demon possessed. The alarm won't go off even when the phone is off. I so need an exorcist.

13. When I wake up in the morning......I am very grumpy

14. Before I go to bed......I wonder if by this time next year I'll still be going to bed alone.

15. Right now I am thinking about.......unbloggable bedtime things (and how I got even more jaded in 14 questions)

16. Babies are.....Men under 35. The rest are fair game depending on the age appropriateness of the game. (bwaahahaaa) And since I'm already jaded why not lower the age.

strong>17. I get on Myspace.......LOL.

18. Today I........stayed up waaaay too late and realized I'm jaded!

19. Tomorrow I will be...very sleepy and even grumpier.

20. I really want to be.......fully engaged in unbloggable activities (#15) with someone I care about

without the jade

And that's the truth.

Two Blue Eyes and A Table

2009-06-20T18:06:00.004Z

So I'm searching through the archives trying to re-post something for my weekend readers because I'm coming up empty in the blog post department when suddenly I look across the table and see two blue eyes in a chair. And magic. Oh yeah. Magic.

Happened right here in the castle.

"How old are you?" I asked

"Five."

Right.

'Cause I swear he has some aged old wise man hiding behind the blue with a wrinkle of secrets and mystery that only I can see

and I wonder if he sees the pool of love welling up in my eyes and sliding down my face and praying praying praying that he lives long and hard and beautifully wild enough to look at someone else this way across an unsuspecting table and see what I see and gather into himself what I breathe into my heart when I look at him 'cause I'm here to tell you that it stops me in my tracks and I can't help myself nor do I want to from allowing every bit of sacred innocence when I see that face and I wanna say go back go back go back for just one day 'cause there's power in that place

and I know you can't see it

but I do

Time With An Old Friend

2009-06-19T04:04:00.008Z

Just me and

88
keys

We had a lovely day.

I'm Going To Marry Simon Cowell

2009-06-17T16:15:00.000Z

He's single.

I'm single.

He's from England.

He appreciates Queens.

I'm from Bloggingham Palace.

I'm a Queen.

That should do it.
He'll never know what hit him.

Photo Creative Commons 3.0

Stealing On Monday ~ For WHAT??!

2009-06-15T23:30:00.011Z

NOTE TO SUNDAY STEALERS - I am not crazy. I know this was last week's ~~month's~~ meme but it took me three weeks to do it and then I forgot to sign the Mr. Linky thing and posted it on Monday (sigh) so I thought it would be nice if somebody in the blogosphere actually read it so here it is a week (or so) late. NEXT week maybe I'll have THIS week's meme.

I hope you don't mind. And if you do...there's always the dungeon ya know.

Since when does the Queen of Memes give up on a meme? Since this one! Or so I thought. I tried. Really I did. I just couldn't make it funny. And then my tenacious stubbornness kicked in and I tried again. I tried for three weeks. Funny or not. Here it is. Brew a cup of coffee and try not to go to sleep.

From the blog Sunday Stealing we bring you The A To Z Meme.

• Are you available? For what?
• What is your age? The Age of Aquarius
• What annoys you? People asking about my aquarius

B
• Do you know anyone named Billy? Yes, but he doesn't know me.
• When is your birthday? The day I was born is a top classified government secret secret
• Who is your best friend? Billy. But he doesn't know. Shhh.....

C
• What's your favorite candy?
It could be this yummy Reese's Peanut Butter cake I made with my own blog hands.

I so did not.

• Crush? Wild horses couldn't drag it out of me.
When was the last time you cried?
Right after the wild horse drag.

D
• Do you daydream? What did you say?

• What's your favorite kind of dog? The silent kind.

• What day of the week is it?

One of the days that end with Y.

E
• How do you like your eggs?

Considerate, nice personality, great abs - and easy

• Have you ever been in the emergency room?

Oh that's funny. Have you been reading my blog?

Ever pet an elephant? I am not answering any more of your stupid questions!

F
• Do you use fly swatters? For what?
• Have you ever used a foghorn? For WHAT??!

• Is there a fan in your room?
And he is STILL there. I told him to leave after the autograph signing.

Some people.

G
•
Do you chew gum? What else would I do with it?
• Do you like gummy candies? Not even a little.
• Do you like gory movies? Less than a little and Who CARES??!

H
• How are you? Perturbed that I am only to H and I can't come up with any better answers than this.

• What's your height? Under 5'3" and Over 5'1"

• What color is your hair? Dark auburn. Natural color. I just had a fight with my mother about my hair. Today is not a good day to ask me. Ask her. She says it's too long. I say it's just right. My whole family is obsessed with my hair lately! She seems to know all about it. Why are we talking about my hair again? I told you I don't want to talk about it.

Here's a shot just for you, Mommy Dear. It stays.

Stop talking about it!

I
• What's your favorite ice cream? Frozen yogurt vanilla with granola
• Have you ever ice skated?

For what?

. Ever been to an igloo?

Oh sure. I go to igloos all the time.

On skates.

J

• What's your favorite Jelly Bean?
He's not a "what".

Phil Harris wrote a song in the 1940s called "Jelly Bean" (Wasn't He A Curbside Cutie?) about a well-dressed dapper and overly-egotistical ladies man. He liked to pimp out his charm. I think, today, he would be called a player.

• Have you ever heard a really hilarious joke?

I'm hoping to find one in this meme.

• Do you wear jewelry?

Constantly

K
• Who do you want to kill? This is a non-violent blog

. Have you ever flown a kite?

For WHAT??! (You thought I woudn't do that again, didn't you?)

• Do you think kangaroos are cute?

In the same way I think Jelly Bean was cute.

Not even close. They're both rats.

L
• Are you laid back? At the moment, yes.
• Lions or Tigers? Bears
• Do you like black licorice? BLECH!! For WHAT??

M

• Favorite movie as a kid? Wizard of Oz. Once in the sixth grade, we re-enacted it on the playground. I was the witch. I always say "If you're gonna be a witch, be a witch." Everybody was scared. I was evil!

• Ever shopped at Moosejaw? What do they sell? Moose things?

• Favorite store at the mall?

Igloos 'R Us

• Do you have a nickname? Mimi, Mimi and Mimi
• Whats your favorite number? Say 3 Hail Mimis and ask me in the morning
• Do you prefer night or day? For what? Oh how you torture me with these inane questions.

O
• What's your one wish?

I have many wishes. Keeps that never-satisfied-feeling ever aglow.

• Are you an only child? I am now. My family found my blog.

• Do you like the color orange? Only on these.

P
• What are you most paranoid about? Losing readers because of memes.
• Piercings? BLECHH! (except for ears)
Do you know anyone named Penelope? Why? Are you looking for her?

Q
• Are you quick to judge people?

Yes and quickly. Penelope is missing. I know THAT and I haven't even met her.

Do you like Quaker Oats? No. They're quick. And too judgmental.

• Know anyone that makes quilts? My sister the Quaker

R
• Do you think you're always right? Always. (My mother wrote these questions, didn't she.... )
• Do you watch reality TV? American Idol. I'm pretty sure I'm right about that. Seeeeeee?
• Reason to cry? It's my party and I'll cry if.....oh you know. I generally don't need a reason.

S

• Do you prefer sun or rain? Bloggingham Rain
• Do you like snow? I can smell snow. It's a gift.
• What's your favorite season? Fall. It's also my favorite activity. Falling in love or falling down.

Take your pick.

• What time is it? Time to try to be funny
• What time did you wake up? I'm on vacation. For WHAT???

U
• Can you ride a unicycle? Why? Am I joining the circus?
• Do you know anyone with a unibrow? Shut up.
• Uncles do you have? Grammar do you have?

V
• What’s the worst vegetable? Rutabaga. It even sounds ugly

• Did you ever watch Veggie Tales? They had a Rutabago playing a talking baseball bat. I hated it and the unicycle it rode in on.

. Ever considered being vegan?

It's against my religion. But here's a nice pot of brussels sprouts from the actual kitchen of Queen Mimi cooked in an actual royal pot on the actual stove in the actual kitchen in the actual castle by my actual hands.

And then my dinner looked like this.

Not bad eh??

W
• What's your worst habit? Staying up too late doing stupid memes
• Do you like water rides? Only on yachts
Been inside a windmill? Only the windmills of my mind

X
• Have you ever had an x-ray? So many I'm radioactive
• Ever used a Xerox machine? I made copies of my Formal Complaint to Blogger today about this meme. It's a blight on the blogosphere.

OH COME ON! You know you could muster up another X question??!

Here's one for ya: Which chromosome is opposite Y?

D.U.H.

Y
• Do you like the color yellow? If it's mustard it must be yellow. It's a rule.
• What year were you born in? What a sneaky way to ask this question twice. Bug off!
• Do you yell when you're angry? Can't ya hear me?

Oh double dare Ye!! Don't ya wanna know which chromosome is opposite X?

WHY do you ask? Bwaahhahhhaa
(It is sooo past my bedtime)

Z
• Do you believe in the zodiac? Does it believe in me?
• What's your zodiac sign? What a sneaky way to ask for my birthday AGAIN....I'm on to you, Meme Writer
• When was the last time you went to the zoo?

Oh! THAT'S where I saw the igloos....

I finished this meme and ate all my brussels sprouts. I've got a meme reputation to uphold ya know.

Just call me
Are you still awake??!

Goodnite John Boy.

Copyright © 2006-2009 Mimi Lenox. All Rights Reserved.

Watching For Falling Trees: Why I Need A Harem (Updated!)

2009-06-14T23:30:00.000Z

**See below for the first harem applicant!**

Caution: This post contains nudity
In the past three months I've had an upper back injury (ouch), a lower back flare-up (ouch), an abdominal contusion inflicted by a flying chair, a torn illiopsoas leg muscle from a flying left leg, the engine light came back on in my car and just yesterday an ant bit me on the thigh and I dropped a hot curling iron on my head.

Things are looking up.

I know it's improbable, irrational and downright silly but I'm so skittish I don't even go near the birdbath in my backyard. (There might be birds in there) Simple things frighten me. I've forgotten how to do ordinary tasks for fear of hurting myself.
I can't even untangle my own hair!! I'm itching ~~I shouldn't have said that something else will bite me~~ to stumble on a pencil skirt caper but I'm scared I'll actually stumble.
So I'm taking no chances.

And no prisoners.

I make the sign of the cross on the toaster every morning and always eat the left side of sliced bread first. I make sure the telephone rings seven times for luck before I answer it and not once has it been the IRS since I started this. I've taken to saying three Hail Marys ( I'm not Catholic), 2 praise Jesus's (I'm not whatever that is), reciting the Lord's Prayer in French and German, The Gettysburg Address, The Declaration of Independence and The Pledge of Allegiance. And that's before I even get out of bed.

Superstitions are scared of ME now. I carry a cross at all times. I don't wear it. I carry it. A big one. Like that man who walked across the country carrying a cross. THAT BIG!!! Never know when I'll stumble on a vampire. I take my vitamins at precisely 7:07 am because 7 would be my lucky number if I had one.

Oh. And I changed the color of my toothbrush.

What made me think I wanted to go out and frolic this morning? What possessed me?! Boredom, that's what and the realization that I needed that stupid converter box in order to watch Saturday morning cartoons. So I peeked outside and looked for the sky to fall. With my luck, the clouds would be filled with bricks on Chicken-Little Day. But when I counted to 100 and the sky was still smiling I decided it was time to face my fears. So I did what any self-respecting pencil skirt worth her Maybelline would do: I got in the car and rolled the window down with rubber gloves in case of germs and inspected my surroundings for signs of bio-terrorism. I've secured a Biodegradable hazmat suit from the army surplus store just in case I wanna stroll around the yard or actually get in the car 'cause you never know when I could suddenly succumb to some fatal injury or illness just waiting to pounce on my pencil head. I could step outside my house and break myself!

Do you see how that wall is leaning?

And we haven't even discussed the alligators in the moat or the poison ivy.

I made sure my hair was out of the way before I put the window up and decided to go for a drive.

Charles suggested in a recent comment that I get a "himem" to assist me while I recuperate which is supposed to be the antithesis of a harem. He said a Queen should have more than one boyfriend - three, to be exact. A woman never can have too many of those ya know. And while I'm feeling much better today (I can actually put on my socks without screaming) - I think he might be onto something. And since I've had boyfriends (where are they when you need 'em??!) but never a harem/himum..... I think it's time to try something new. Because seriously, if I drop one more thing on my head the blogosphere could lose it's most ~~irritating~~ favored Queen!

I am familiar with the history of harems. Their purpose back in the day was for the royal upbringing of the future wives of noble and royal men. Since I'm the royal in these parts, we'll have to flip flop it to male upbringing. Oh, what fun! So I'm on the lookout for falling trees, falling bird baths and men willing to protect me from myself. My independent streak will have to take a lonely hike for awhile. I-am-woman-hear-me-roar-be-damned (sorry Lizza). I need someone to take out the garbage and cook.....well, never mind...here's the real list.

How To Qualify For Mimi's Himem (now accepting applications)

1. You must be willing to fall down a lot.

2. Apply first aid to the Queen's body wherever injury occurs day or night night or day day or night and whatever may befall her or fall on her underneath her on top of her or around her. Oh. Throwing yourself in front of cars and moving trains is a requirement.

3. I need someone who can cuss for me. You must cuss and cuss well.

4. Can you untangle hair?

(I tried to look seductive without falling out the window.)

5. I'm currently plotting the murder of one imaginary dog. I need a strategist. I guess that rules out pet people.

6. You must be a speedo-wearing moat swimmer, tree hugger with a responsible flower child spirit. Religion doesn't matter. Blasphemy welcome.

7. Naked lounging is encouraged. I found some pictures of what people do in a harem.

All in the name of academic research.
I don't mind if you don't wear clothes as long as you don't mind if I do.

(Am I seductive yet?)

8. No grapes for me. I want to be fed Cheetos. Slowly. Seductively.
Can you think of anything sexier? (Don't answer that)

9. You must have a Master's Degree in foot massage, bubble bath drawing, peace globe polishing and Godiva pouring.

10. Pedigree should include Kennedy, Rockefeller, Tudor, Hemingway and Springsteen. No exceptions!!!! Extra points if you're related to Clyde Barrow and can shoot a gun.

Submit a flattering and ~~sensual~~ current picture to mimiwrites2005 at yahoo.com along with your intellectual qualifications just in case I like the picture and want to read about your brain.
This offer for a limited time only!! No refunds.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to put on my biodegradable anti-germy gloves and hit the Publish button 'cause I smell poison ivy leaves inside the car. Which one of you did that??! I'm sure my inbox will soon be flooded with men who want to be my blog slave any moment.

Flooded......flooded.....drats!!

I left the water running in the dungeon. Homer is down there and he can't swim.

NEWSFLASH!
The first applicant arrives! From an "alternate universe" we have Doctor Shoal and his bowl of....of.....well, let's just say I had to crop the bottom of the picture. This is a PG Kingdom ya know! After I took a cold shower, I recouped and decided to share him for your viewing pleasure. Hey! Wait a minute! Doctor Shoal looks suspiciously like Speedcat Hollydale.

Whaddya say, Ladies? Will he do?

Can I Keep The Shorts?

2009-06-10T23:00:00.000Z

When I do something, I do it right.

It was swollen. Large. Red. Ugly. Warm to the touch and a bit shocking to discover this morning after three days of icing. No better. I was sick of it. It looked like a blood clot in my leg and I felt sick when I touched it. I called in to work and went straight to the doctor who took one look at it and said (and I quote) "Oh my God. You have to see an orthopaedic surgeon TODAY."
Is it a blood clot?
"That was my first thought," he said. "But...hmmm...I don't think so but I'm not absolutely sure."

Three hours later after x-rays and a drive with my mother across town and a stop at Sonic Burger because she wanted a chocolate milkshake at a time like this, I meet Doctor Doom. My mission? To make him smile. I can take disaster as long as someone's smiling. He sat down with the pictures. I thought my leg bones looked rather attractive if I do say so myself - a thought that didn't escape my lips thank goodness - and what are those little black dots everywhere in my abdomen? Hmmm?? Oh. That. Well. Do tell, Doctor Doom. What is wrong with me? Besides that...

"The good news is you didn't break anything. The bad news is you have torn your iliopsoas."

OH MY GOOOOoooDDD!

"What's an iliopsoas?"

"It's a very large upper leg muscle that goes all the way from here (pointing) to all the way down here (pointing)."
And we barely KNOW each other. The nerve.

By this time I am hyperventilating.
And then he began to point to the pretty black and white pictures of moi and chant some incoherent medical mumbo jumbo about hip joints and the consensual conjoining of the femoral triangle.

I knew I hurt something feminine. I just knew it. My feelings have been hurt ever since I threw that kick.

So, while he talked about what I should have done when I did what I did but didn't do and now have to do because of what I neglected to do in the first place when I threw that stupid kick and while he meticulously went over the x-rays, I sized him up.

Tall. No wedding ring. Stern. All business. Great smile. Cute.
This just won't do.

My mind has already fast-forwarded to summer vacation. And I do NOT like what I see. Instead of Godiva drinks and midnight pencil skirt frolicking I'm cozying up to a surgical nurse and a pair of steel doors with people inside trying to fix my illio? It's a sad day in the Kingdom of Bloggingham!! And who cares if I have a flat tummy if I'm limping at the pool? Who cares??!! Nobody will notice that. And nobody loves royals who limp. Nobody! It's a historical fact. Look at Napolean. How do you think he got short? The illio!!!

Foresight and common sense did not ride side-saddle with me that fateful TaeBoeing day, I'll tell ya.

I'll bet he thinks I'm a ditz.

And he doesn't even know I'm a Queen.

So I did what I always do when I don't get my way. I tried to talk him out of the diagnosis.
I didn't like that one. I never knew I even had an illipsoas until today. Can't we find an ailment that I'm at least married to in some way?

"But it's a bruise," I said. (Doctors love it when you challenge their expertise.)

"See? Why is it bruised like this?" thinking all the while that he wouldn't know a good bruised illipsoas feminine if one slapped him with a pair of blue shorts....Hmmmpf!

"That's what torn muscles look like, Miss Pencil Skirt."

I pulled up the blue shorts once again (ahem. It never hurts) trying not to let on how traumatized I was at having to wear them in the first place. He has no idea the wardrobe concessions I had to make in the radiology room to de-accessorize myself and maintain my dignity.
(yes, these are the actual blue paper shorts)
"They look like a bruise?" (pointing to my...ummm..bruise)

"Well, muscle tears bleed."
"Bleed???! Muscles bleeeeeed??! I'm bleeding??? In THERRRRREE??!"
"Of course. That's what makes the bruise."
I knew that.

This is not working out at ALL like I planned.

And because I didn't ice, rest, and elevate in the first 48-72 hours (because I was busy with other injuries thank you very much) I now have to move on to the heat phase of the process. Inflammation has set in complete with a low grade fever so now I must apply moist heat several times a day. That doesn't make sense to me but OK. Oh no. The swelling will not disappear. Oh no. The bruising will not disappear. Oh no. The pain will not disappear. It will hang around for awhile smiled the voice of doom. So I asked the dreaded question. "How long will it take before I'm back to my power walking without pain?"

"Well, Miss Pencil Skirt, that will take......(are you ready for this?)...I can't say it.

Not even the thin blue shorts could get me out of this one.

But before he put away the films I made him tell me every tiny little thing on them and checked to see if my name was indeed on the X-rays. Maybe they got them mixed up. It could happen! I asked him if he checked for weird things. Weird things? Yea. Like growths and tumors and ......NOW he is laughing. This is no time to laugh, Dr. D, I am quite serious you know.

The ~~flirting~~ ~~failed attempts at humor~~ went like this. I'm sure he is still thinking about the nut case he met while in the line of duty today when he recalls...."

"Maybe the xrays are wrong. I had my earrings in ya know. And did you see anything horrible in my leg?"

"If there had been a tumor in your leg I would have seen it."

"But did you X-ray my WHOLE LEG??"

He is bemused.

"Yes."

"You did?"

"Yes.

" IF there had been a tumor in your leg I would have seen it."

"And no tumor?"

"Noooooo."

Well, at least I know what a tumor IS, I thought, and then "I'm suuuch a hypochondriac" like he hadn't figured that out yet. I put my feet back in my jeweled black flip flops and asked, "What can I do to make it better O-Silly Doctor-Of-Doom? And is there anything I could do that would make it worse?
"Yes. Dynamic exercises."

"What are dynamic exercises?"

"Like TaeBo, kicking, and anything where your leg isn't stable." (making a mental note to burn that damn video and sue Billy Blanks who is no longer my hero)

"Well what CAN I do? Can I waaaaalk?"

"Sure you can walk! I want you to walk."
(I'm thinking Whew! what a relief! Things aren't so bad after all.)

"Great, Doctor Doom, I'm so glad you see things my way."

"You can walk to the mailbox."

That was not even a little bit funny. For an ortho man you're quite amusing you and your bones and skeletons on the wall and no personality til I walked in the door cause I'm so cute in those blue paper shorts. You know you're trying to show off! You know it and I know it! You and your ilipsoas diagnosis. I'll bet there isn't even any such thing as a ilipsoas in the first place. You just made that up!!!

He went out to dictate and I was left with a pile of crumpled blue paper and no plan for redemption. I am powerless without my heels.

I gathered what was left of my left limped leg who'd heard this entire fiasco and headed down the hallway where Dr. D stood dictating the notes for my catastrophic physical condition. It was so sad. Like two people facing off at high noon in the middle of Tumbleweed US-XRAY - our eyes met - just as he said into the little black machine, "She says she threw a kick with her right and something broke in her left..." I looked at him and rolled my eyes. He got so tickled he had to stop dictating. (I can't believe I just wrote that.)

I held up the shorts with the one part of my body that didn't hurt -my pinkie- and asked,

"Can I keep the shorts?"

Twelve Ways He Makes Me Smile

2009-06-09T00:00:00.014Z

His fascination

with

this

beetle

the awesome green shoes

that match the

green glasses

Trying to be so cool

He likes to help....
(and squirt me with the hose)

unless he's mad..... (I think I recognize that look)

but he gets over it fast

That boy is some kind of silly

He tells me he wants to be a vampire (this week)
but I know he'll grow up

blogger

He's already practicing with the lens for Ruby Tuesday, Wordless Wednesday etc etc and a little thing called peace globes

so what do you think he got for Christmas?

I knew that camera would be trouble

(he takes pictures of Frootloops)

and

eats peanut butter right

out

the

jar

Who wouldn't love a boy like that?

Monday Mimisms: On Ice

2009-06-07T22:36:00.013Z

It was a plan. It was a brilliant plan.

If only it had worked.

No blogging.

No computer on my lap.

Ice on my leg (pulled muscle. Don't ask.)

Heating pad on my back (Don't ask)

Moist heat on my bruised side (Don't ask)

Hot hot hot baths 3x a day

Rest

Muscle relaxers as needed

All weekend

That was the plan.

This was my view.

A Queen's gotta do what a Queen's gotta do.

And all went well Friday night and Saturday. I iced, I heated, I iced, I heated. I bubbled. And bubbled some more. The swelling went down. Yippee! I learned to trust the nice little pain pills and got through Sunday morning feeling better. Until I got up.

I'm so glad I have a sense of humor.

My leg is swollen again (don't ask).

Since you asked.....it was a TaeBo kick that went the wrong way. The doctor said three weeks ago just before the right abdominal contusion and bruised rib occurred (don't ask), "You may now proceed cautiously to your regular exercise routine. Come back in a month." Billy Blanks (my hero) and I had a very nice reunion, that is, until he said, "Watch the extension of your leg as your throw that kick." I'd never watched the extension of anything much less my leg in all the years I've been doing this SAME video tape and waving a friendly wave to the SAME people year after year who never waved back even though I've been so nice to them all this time and enjoying their little weight loss routine but never once had I watched the extension of my leg. I was curious. And more than a little over-ambitious, excited to be doing my regular routine again even if it had to be cautiously and so....I watched what I was supposed to watch but while I was watching what I was supposed to watch I extended just a little too far and Homer heard the scream all the way down in the dungeon where he'd been holed up dusting the peace globe vault all morning.

HOMMMMEEERRRR!!

Billy did not tell me that watching and extending would cause injury to the inside of the OTHER leg. I wasn't watching THAT one! Apparently, I should have been. He needs to be clearer with his instructions. Who knew you could kick backwards with your right leg and hurt the left one? Who knew???!

So, for the past three weeks I've been gingerly walking on the pulled upper thigh muscle that has become a huge pain in the Queen's behind. I am sooo sick of it. I am used to walking 4 miles a day at breakneck speed and 1-2-3 punching with Mr. Blanks. Well, before all the marathon injuries occurred that I've been blessed with in the last three months. (Don't ask) Not walking is driving me nuts.

And I need to heal this body and fast.

Hence, the plan.

Laid. Meticulously. Brilliantly. Purposely. No blogging. No stress. No work. Nada. Until.....Sunday morning. The plants need watering. Outside downstairs. All my hard work and they are going to die because I watched the extension of my leg. So I went outside for fifteen minutes while my coffee brewed to do the deed. I hosed. I watered. I walked back up the hill. Ouch.

HOOOOmMMMMeeerrrr!

Pineapple. I think I'll have some with my coffee.

I cannot get the lid off the pineapple can. The tab breaks. The can opener will not open the can.

No pineapple for Queenie.

No problem. Cheese fajita! I think I'll make a cheese fajita in the frying pan. Olive oil....I pull the tab on the new bottle. It breaks off. I cannot get the bottle open. I love olive oil. It is calling to me and my fajitas.

No olive oiled breakfast fajitas for Queenie.

By this time, it is nearing lunchtime and I am hungry.

Salad! I'll have a nice big salad that I'd already made up a few days ago and stored in the frig.

I poured raspberry vinagrette and alfalfa sprouts on top. Went back to bed. Exhausted. Propped up the leg with the ice and started to eat my lunch. What??! What's this?

I tasted something gritty in the greens....like they needed washing again.

Sigh.

The whole plate was like that! I must have been in a hurry when I made this salad for sure.

I poured it in the trash.

No lunch for Queenie.

I slammed the kitchen cabinet door and the glass breaker alarm went off in the castle. Guess how long it took me to walk back to the panel and shut it off? Exactly too long. Ring! Ring! "This is your security company. There's been a window breakage in your house."

HOOOOMMMMMEERRRRR!!!

Why am I single? Where is my boyfriend at a time like this? And whose gonna love a multi-injurious monarch with iced thighs anyway?

I can't believe I said that.

This is where a sense of humor comes in handy. For some reason when I got up to throw the salad away, my head started hurting suddenly like a migraine and I got nauseous. I.kid.you.not. I had to call the pharmacist about mixing medications. He said fine. Whatever, Queenie. We're tired of you calling us.

I went back to bed with all my paraphernalia. Picture this. I have an ice pack on my left leg, a heating pad on my back, a hot towel on my hurting head, and a bowl of now cold chicken noodle soup perched on my right leg.

With no spoon.

I looked down at myself and burst into laughter.

Did I mention that the ice bag dumped the wicked cold cubes on my blogjammies when I tried to get up? It was a sight. But at least I was having a good hair day.

I go to la-la land sleep and nearly get rid of the headache. I dream that I am writing half-finished blog posts that Blogger published over and over and over and people were emailing to ask why I never finished the story.

Because, people, I'm a little busy here!

Just as I finally got to a good sleep and feeling better, the phone rings.

It is my mother.

She wants to know if I'm resting. "Ohh?? Did I wake you??"

I tell her about the pineapple, the olive oil, and the salad greens. Before I even get to the greens she is laughing hysterically.

I was not amused.

"Well," she said, "I started to bring you some food but I got sidetracked washing the backside of the house." She's washing the HOUSE?? At a time like this??? I am eating cold chicken noodle soup out of a can and she is washing the HOUSE??!

But back to the plan.

The headache limped into a dull ache and I made an executive decision. It is now Sunday evening. Under no circumstances, no way no how am I getting out of this bed until morning except to answer the door when the food delivery comes and it had better not be cold and there'd better be a spoon somewhere.

I hate that dog.

Mimi In A Minute #15 ~ Just Send The Dog

2009-06-04T02:13:00.017Z

These things keep me up at night.
They give me a headache.
I just need sixty seconds of your time to unclog my pencil brain
so that I can get some sleep.
Do you mind? I have a few things to say.
This is Mimi unplugged.

Hide your children.

The General Motors Bailout: I don't know why but every instinct in my body is screaming STOP. NO. ENOUGH. This is a really bad idea. (sorry for shouting)

To the vigilante killer who gunned down the Kansas abortion physician in church:
I love how you proved your non-violence stance with violence. Dr. Tiller would be proud.

To the government employee who accidentally posted "highly confidential safeguards sensitive" information about nuclear weapons ON THE INTERNET: YOU should have gotten a paycut! And we are trusting them with our social security numbers? Now that's "keeping America informed."

Parents: Stop blaming the teachers when your kids get in trouble at school. Come to school, take them home and deal with them (the kid, not the teacher). The rest of the class would like to get an education.

Someone from Riyadh, Saudi Arabia visited my site today and didn't leave a comment. Twice. That's where President Obama is today. Maybe he was on a coffee break looking for a new idea. Can someone say peace globe?

To the researchers who just discovered that TV causes learning lags in infants: DUuUUUUH.

To "Paddy the Puppy" the black lab
who sniffed out 35,000 illegal DVDs in Malaysia all in a day's work: And we can't find Bin Ladin? Cover the mountains of Pakistan with Purina and send the dog.

Congress: You can't find enough money to reduce the exponential red ink in Washington?

Send the dog.

And finally....

To the state of Oregon: I love it! You are charging prisoners for luxury accommodations in the slammer - and extra for bathroom tissue and meals. Kinda gives the term "bailout" a new meaning.....

And if someone decides to check out early before paying - let's all say it together -

Send the dog!

Whew! I feel better. Thanks for listening.Sixty seconds flew by.

I think my blogsomnia is cured.

Lights out.

P.S. Homer is having a fit. I'd better go see to him. I think he's hormonal or something.....

Whispering Wisteria

2009-06-02T16:15:00.007Z

An abandoned house
not much to see
and yet the wisteria
called to me

a window
a room
a story
a host

surely somewhere

there must be a ghost

I see him.

Do you?

Images: Mimi Lenox

Inscription of Hope ~ I Believe In The Sun

2009-06-01T14:15:00.002Z

Quoting from a Russian Folk Tune, composer Dr. Z. Randall Stroope arranged a stunning choral and instrumental piece for the Nebraska Choral Arts Society and Children's Chorus called "Inscription of Hope." Based on fragments of Jewish text found on a cellar wall in Cologne, Germany during the Holocaust in World War II, it is believed to have been scrawled by a child hiding from the Nazis. The year was 1943.

The rendition you hear at this link is performed with treble voicing, strings and woodwinds. But Inscription of Hope is pure magic when sung by children. I have conducted this piece for children's choir and can testify to that. Melodically and harmonically simplistic, there is room for the innocence of the moment to speak.. Imagine the circumstances that led to such an epitaph.

Here are the lyrics to Stroope's Inscription of Hope along with photographs from the United States Holocaust Museum and public domain during the Warsaw Ghetto uprising in April/May 1943.

This child's poem is why, once again, we must look at the past.
Notice the girl in the checkered coat and hat.

What happened to her?

(The inscription)

"I believe in the sun
even when it is not shining

And I believe in love

even when there's no one there

And I believe in God
even when He is silent

I believe through any trial

there is always a way.

But sometimes in this suffering

and hopeless despair

My heart cries for shelter

to know someone's there

But a voice rises within me saying

'hold on my child'

I'll give you hope

I'll give you strength

Just stay a little while

I believe in the sun

even when it is not shining

And I believe in love

even when there's no one there

And I believe in God

even when He is silent

I believe through any trial

There is always a way

May there someday be sunshine

May there someday be happiness

May there someday be love

May there someday be peace."

There is similar suffering all over the world today in varying forms of atrocity. Perhaps when we no longer need monies to buy bombs and fuel tanks we can feed all the hungry children. And no person will ever again have to scrawl out a message of hope on the dark walls of hell - but from a place of sunshine.
Don't be silent.

PARTICIPATE IN BLOGBLAST FOR PEACE
November 5, 2009

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