In my own little world

2008-12-04T06:47:00.000-08:00

This guys is my new hero.

2008-11-25T10:10:00.000-08:00

Because I love nothing more than to embarrass myself...

A long lost girlfriend from grade school posted this on Facebook. It's getting lots of mileage on all our pages. I'm the dumbass in the white, short-short... thing.

First of all... my parents let me dress myself.
Secondly: What the hell am I wearing?
Thirdly: Yes, I thought I was posing for Vogue.
Furthermore: Is the girl to my right farting on me?

2008-11-02T06:27:00.000-08:00

Words... I.. have no words.

TORONTO (Reuters) – U.S. vice presidential hopeful Sarah Palin fell prey to a Canadian prankster on Saturday when he called her impersonating French President Nicolas Sarkozy and got her to accept an invitation to hunt baby seals.

In an over-the-top French accent, a member of the Quebec comedy duo "The Masked Avengers," famous for tricking celebrities and politicians including Sarkozy himself, asked if Palin would take him on a hunting trip by helicopter, and then in French said they could also go kill baby seals.

An apparently oblivious Palin said she thought that would be fun. "We could have a lot of fun together as we're getting work done. We could kill two birds with one stone that way."

The prankster also got Palin, Republican John McCain's running mate in Tuesday's U.S. presidential election, to reveal a potential ambition for the top job in Washington.

Asked if she would like to eventually become president, the Alaska governor responded, "Well, maybe in eight years."

Palin's office quickly admitted they were hoodwinked.

"Governor Palin was mildly amused to learn that she had joined the ranks of heads of state, including President Sarkozy, and other celebrities in being targeted by these pranksters. C'est la vie," Palin spokeswoman Tracy Schmitt said in an e-mail.

Robert Gibbs, a senior advisor to Democratic presidential hopeful Barack Obama, told reporters in Springfield, Missouri: "I'm glad we check out our calls before we hand the phone to Barack Obama."

During the phone call, which was played for a Montreal radio program, Palin complimented the fake Sarkozy on his beautiful wife, Carla Bruni, and asked him to give her a "big hug" for her.

"You added a lot of energy to your country with that beautiful family of yours," Palin said.

The prankster responded by complimenting Palin on a notorious Hustler porn film "Nailin' Paylin," which he said was a documentary of her life.

"Oh good, thank you," Palin said.

Palin also reassured the fake Sarkozy when he said he would not want to bring Vice President Dick Cheney on a hunting trip. Cheney once accidentally shot a hunting partner.

"I'll be a careful shot," she promised.

2008-09-27T09:09:00.000-07:00

Bad blogger! No cookie! Those of you (right, like anyone reads this!)who choose to blog in white font on a black background.. do you know you are giving people migraines? I'm getting one right now. That's how I will spend my saturday... with jacked up vision and intense pain.

Here's what happens: I get about 2 lines into the blog then my vision goes wonky. I start seeing horizontal lines of dark and light, as if I were looking through mini blinds from a dark room on a sunny day. The lines don't go away for hours and after a few minutes.. the dull pounding starts.

I guess I have to stop reading them, which is sad.

2008-09-20T19:52:00.000-07:00

I'm thinking about joining AA. I think I'm finally ready to admit that I have a problem that is interfering with my life. My addiction has caused problems, even injury to myself and my loved ones and I am finally willing to admit that
I need help.

I did some research and found the 12 steps that I will take with the help of friends, family and possibly a harsh winter.

1. We admitted we were powerless over avocados--that our lives had become unmanageable.

2. Came to believe that a Power greater than guacamole could restore us to sanity.

3. Made a decision to turn our tortilla chips and our limes over to the care of The Flying Spaghetti Monster (TFSM) as we understood It.

4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of our kitchen.

5. Admitted to our produce clerk, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

6. Were entirely ready to have our husband remove all these avocados in the house.

7. Humbly asked TFSM to remove our cravings.

8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.

9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.

11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with TFSM, as we understood It, praying only for knowledge of It's will for us and the power to carry that out.

12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to Mexican restaurants, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

I'm not sure I'm ready.

2008-09-15T08:49:00.000-07:00

Get a bucket!!! The roof's leaking. Yuck. Plaster is falling... brown stain spreading... yuckity yuck!

Hmm... Toast's roof stopped leaking and ours started within a few hours. Um.... WITCH!!! Toast is a witch!!

In other news, the kids are doing well. They are both adorable and are growing so damn fast. The baby is no longer a baby. *sad face* She is officially a toddler. Nine months old as of the 13th and she's crawling, standing, taking a few steps here and there while holding on to things, saying Da Da Da!! alot at her Daddy, and crawling up the stairs. Every new thing she does seems like a little miracle, as if she's the first kid to ever crawl. -Yet, it seems kind of bittersweet. The more independence she gains, the more I lose my little baby. Hopefully, she'll stay a mommy's girl and want to be held alot. I know I miss that with Grace.

Speaking of Grace, that girl is a trip. She's such a little brainiac. She's really into puzzles at the moment. It amazes me to see a 3 year old put together 75 piece jigsaw puzzles in a few short minutes. Her vocabulary and reasoning skills are quite advanced and she never tires of challenging me, questioning everything and demanding accountability of those around her. She is not the slightest bit shy about telling a senior citizen that they used a bad word or should take turns or wait in line.

I have some recent pics of the girls playing together. I shall upload them soon, I promise.

2008-09-12T10:42:00.000-07:00

10 things I don't want to know:

1. How fake crab is made.

2. What my husband really thinks about my body.

3. About your sex life.

4. About your religious beliefs.

5. About your various bodily functions/fluids.

6. How much money you make.

7. What my dog is eating.

8. What that stain on the floor is from.

9. How much trash I've put in the landfill in my life.

10. Anything at all about that woman who put her baby in the microwave. I'm hoping to never hear the details.

2008-09-12T07:13:00.000-07:00

I kinda like these cloudy, rainy days. They make me want to light candles, bake and cook yummy food and snuggle with my family.

2008-09-10T11:06:00.000-07:00

I miss having a girlfriend to talk to about anything and everything. I miss having that friend who knew everything about me, who could explain myself to me when I didn't understand why I was feeling a certain way. I miss having that friend who always knew when I just needed her to be there to sit with me in silence.

I worry that I'll never stop needing her. I worry that part of my heart will always feel empty. I know, I will probably never have a friend like that again and it really sucks.

Does this shit ever get any easier?

2008-08-04T05:20:00.000-07:00

I haven't started the full induction phase of Adkins and I'm not sure I'll ever get to a state of ketosis this time. I just love fruit and veggies too much and crave them constantly. So far, I've stopped eating bread and pasta and anything with flour or sugar. I gave up beer and when I do drink, which is rarely, I am drinking vodka and soda water, which is carb free.

I noticed over the weekend that my underwear, pants and skirts are falling off. A skirt that fit me perfectly 2 weeks ago is seriously falling right off my hips. I weighed myself this morning and I lost 5 pounds since I last weighed myself 4 days ago. I would worry that this was water weight, but our scale measured hydration, body fat and calculates bone density. My hydration level is perfect and my body fat dropped about 2%.

Feeling encouraged by my results so far, I am certainly going to continue. I just made myself an egg white omelette using Egg Beaters, because they are so darn convienent. I added some tarragon, Jane's Mixed Up Pepper and a slice of swiss cheese. I made the omelette thin so that it looked like there was alot of food on my plate, but seriously, I am full and satisfied.

Now, I'm just hoping to get some yoga in today. I feel like my muscles really want to stretch and my joints actually don't hurt this morning.

2008-07-31T08:18:00.000-07:00

Uggg! We're starting the low-carb, atkins-ish diet again. Keep in mind, I'm a pasta addict. To me, eating a dinner without bad carbs is like eating without a mouth. -I just can't quite figure it out. Last time I tried this kind of diet, was right before the wedding and I did lose quite a bit of weight, quite quickly. I promptly came home from the honeymoon and ballooned up to a whole new level of fat.

I have 40 pounds to lose. Just admitting that feels like losing 5 pounds.

So... bye bye, pasta. Goodbye, bread. So long, potatoes and rice. No more baked goods. No more gravy. I'll miss you, beer. I'll remember you fondly, tortillas.

Now, please excuse me while I gorge on cookies and Special K. I'm really going to miss my cereal.

2008-07-10T07:49:00.001-07:00

The bird died.

2008-07-10T06:25:00.001-07:00

So, yesterday, whilst taking out the trash, I almost stepped on a teeny, tiny, baby sparrow. It was wobbling around on the ground, not really able to walk very well, let alone fly. The little guy chirped at me a few times and wobbled over to a nearby planter and hid behind it. At the time, I just kind of assumed it was dying and really had no idea what to do for it.

I came inside and placed a call to Lakeside Nature Center. I already knew that they didn't take non-native species, as I once tried to save a pigeon that had been hit by a car on Ward Parkway. I was hoping that in the very least, they'd have some advice for how to keep this poor little guy from getting eating by a cat.

Sure enough, a spunky, cussing, very knowledgeable, bird rescuer called me back and told me that yes, indeed, house sparrows are an invasive species, they steal vital habitat from endangered species of native birds, they are a menace, they are loud and messy and obnoxious and I should build the little guy a nest and carefully feed it some dry cat food that I've moistened with water and place the nest where cats cannot reach it, close to it's parents nest in hopes that they will continue to care for the little clumsy thing. She said that these babies can take falls of 50-60 feet and be just fine and that I should check his poop tomorrow, and that if it has both the white (pee) and the dark (poop) stuff, that it's being fed by mom and dad and will probably be flying within a couple weeks.

So, I took one of my favorite baskets that I've had for like 20 years, that my darling husband was using to hold crap on his nightstand, and filled it with shredded newspaper and dry grass and carefully picked up the little squeaker, using and old washcloth, and placed him in the nest, while under close observation and protest of his parents, who were practically dive-bombing me. I took this as a very good sign that they are indeed looking after the little booger.

Then, there was the dilemma of where in the hell to put the improvised nest. The parents are currently nesting on a horizontal piece of downspout, just below the overhang of the roof, on the second floor. In other words... no way in hell I'm getting him back up there.

This is where the sweet husband comes in to save the day. He came outside and MacGyvered a stand for the nest.

So, that was my good(?) deed of the day.

2008-07-09T18:37:00.000-07:00

Yes, I'm still alive. I had tomatoes with my falafel tonight and I feel just fine, thanks.

Not a whole lot going one. Sydney has a checkup tomorrow and I am dreading having to watch her get her vaccines. I am very much pro-vaccine, but it's never fun to watch your baby scream in pain. I just have to remind myself how much more it would suck to watch her hooked up to tubes and crap in the hospital with measles or pertussis.

Sydney cut her first two teeth this week and has the most adorable, toothy, drooly smile. We wondered if she would take after her Daddy and cut her canines first, but apparently, vampirism is not that hereditary. She cut her bottom two incisors, just like a normal little girl. Today, however, I noticed the telltale bubbles of teeth about to erupt from her upper jaw, right where her canines should be. So, maybe she'll be a little fang baby after all.

2008-07-02T13:45:00.000-07:00

I don't get it.

it's like the FDA is run by born again Christians or something. What ever happened to deductive reasoning?

Some food-poisoning experts say the CDC missed a key step in not taking those studies a step further and trying to trace why some of the healthy ate tomatoes without harm.

For now, the FDA continues to urge consumers nationwide to avoid raw red plum, red Roma or red round tomatoes unless they were grown in specific states or countries that the agency has cleared of suspicion. Check the FDA's Web site — http://www.fda.gov — for an updated list. Also safe are grape tomatoes, cherry tomatoes and tomatoes sold with the vine still attached.

That advice is coming under fire too because tomatoes are sent through multiple repacking and distribution sites around the country, even to Mexico and back, regardless of where they're grown. But Acheson said the advice would be fine-tuned only if new science emerges.

full story: http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080702/ap_on_go_ca_st_pe/tomatoes_salmonella

Hmm.. what do people eat fresh tomatoes with the most? Possibly meat and cheese? -Just saying...

How many people have to get sick before they pull their heads out?

Screw it. I'm eating tomatoes.

If I die of food poisoning, you have my permission to throw rotten tomatoes at my corpse.

2008-06-25T06:33:00.001-07:00

I'm sorry

I've been absent

I know, I suck.

2008-02-27T16:06:00.000-08:00

Happy Birthday, my sweet friend.

Save me a seat at the party. ;)

2008-02-14T11:04:00.000-08:00

Happy Valentines Day, peoples! May love treat you well!

Here's a little something for you to chew on:

The Most Wonderful Of All Things In Life

-Sir Hugh Walpole (1884-1941)

The most wonderful of all things in life is the discovery of another human being with whom one's relationship has a growing depth, beauty and joy as the years increase. This inner progressiveness of love between two human beings is a most marvellous thing; it cannot be found by looking for it or by passionately wishing for it. It is a sort of divine accident, and the most wonderful of all things in life.

2008-02-01T06:55:00.000-08:00

My little girl is 3 today!!

How did that happen?

Happy Birthday, Grace. You crazy monkey girl.

2008-01-30T14:39:00.000-08:00

The boy:

I <3 him

2008-01-27T20:20:00.000-08:00

I am like, the worlds worst blogger. I should just post pics of my doggies when I have nothing important to say.
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2007-12-31T13:23:00.000-08:00

Phyllis Louise Whitaker
1933 - 2007

We'll all miss you.

2007-12-31T13:13:00.000-08:00

I know it's been awhile. I've been kinda busy, what with the holidays... and having a baby and stuff.

Sydney Irene was born on 12/13/07 at 3:14 PM. She is absolutely perfect and we have decided to keep her. <3 <3 <3

So our lives have been turned upside down and we are all quite sleep deprived and the house is a mess and I can't complete sentences... but I have never been happier.

2007-11-19T21:56:00.000-08:00

It was just one of those days.

After having a wonderful weekend of friends, family and adorable kids, I was already feeling pretty darn lucky. I realized how many people love and care about us, and are here to share in our happiness. I realized that as I've suspected, I am so very, very blessed. -To all of you, my sincerest gratitude, respect and love. It's a wonderful feeling knowing that I have such awesome people in my life and even more importantly, in the lives of my children. I love knowing that they will have the influences of such interesting and dynamic people. I can only imagine the depth of character they will gain from all you sweet, nutty people.

So then, this morning, we got some news that made me come crashing back to earth like a Titan rocket. Another couple we know, are going through hell right now. They are living my worst fears. I can't help them. I can't even be there for them. All I can do is pray and hope and hug my husband and daughter and count my blessings.

Life is just crazy like that. You are going along, maybe thinking about what you're going to have for dinner, maybe planning a grocery list in your head or thinking about that bitch who can't stand, you know, the one who shouldn't be wearing that skirt... and then poof... none of it matters. Your life is about getting through that minute, that second and all you can think about is how you took it all for granted.

I want to remember not to take it for granted.

I want to cherish every day, every minute.

I want to live as much as I possibly can in every second and every square inch of my life.

I wrote this, hoping that it will remind me, just how lucky I am.

2007-11-13T05:58:00.000-08:00

It's been awhile, huh? I keep thinking I should be blogging, that I should have something to write about. I just really haven't had much to say.

I'm 36 weeks pregnant. All is fine. Ready to have this kid. -That's about all.