Occasional Superheroine

Halloween Contest: What's Your Top 5 Scary Movies?

2009-10-30T15:30:00.000-04:00

//FINAL POST BUMP (good luck, participants! have a great Halloween!)
/POST BUMP (post bummmmmppp!!!)
I decided to try a contest here as an experiment. If it goes well, I'll do more.

Here's the situation:
To enter the contest, give a list in this post's comment section of your Top Five Favorite Scary Movies (and why, if you're so inclined to share with the class).

On Saturday, October 31 @11:59 PM, the contest closes.
I put all the names of the participants in a hat, and randomly pick a winner.

One lucky winner will get:
1) "The Darkness: Accursed Vol. 1" trade paperback from Top Cow

2) "The Beast From Chicago" trade paperback from NBM/Comics Lit Publishing, drawn & written by Rick Geary about America's First Serial Killer

3) A brand-new copy of "The Grudge" on DVD

4) A vintage copy of JLA: Scary Monsters #3, assistant-edited by yours truly! Watch Plastic Man fit his face over Wonder Woman's boobies in attempt to save her life! Watch Wonder Woman turn into a creature that wasn't really supposed to look like Witchblade but sort of looks like Witchblade anyway! Plus: Deadly Tentacles™!!!!!

Good luck!

The Evolution of Comic Books On Teh Internets

2009-10-30T08:58:00.008-04:00

October 29, 1969: Teh internets launched

October 30, 2007: Zuda.com launched*

October 30, 2009: Marvel for iPhone launched on Comixology

October 29, 2012: DC Entertainment "Neural Implant" launched

October 30, 2025: Marvelopolis's "Excelsior 2.0 Brain-Download" launched, option to virtually live in one of several fantasy settings: Asgard, Wakanda, Lemuria, Atlantis, Queens

October 26, 2050: Superman's robot doubles go crazy, enslave planet

October 27, 2099: Kenshiro "Zero" Cochrane, an under-achieving but lovable rogue, gets shot in Transverse City and subsequently becomes the robot Ghost Rider. Kenshiro battles the Superman robots, liberates teh internets, and becomes the avatar of the new age. Kenshiro's nickname "Zero" was ironic, because at heart...he was really a hero.

October 29, 2031: That long-awaited pole shift happens.

October 24, 4025: The printing press invented. The first book to be mass-produced? The Holy Gylrsfarbx, of course. Then a reprint of Detective Comics #27.

October 23, 5026: The beginning of the Direct Market.

October 25, 5089: The Diuoyygfyuf ComicCon starts becoming too commerical.

October 26, 6002: The 26th reincarnation of Stan Lee develops a webcomic, tells 17th reincarnation of Elvira to "get out of paper comics."

October 30, 6005: More damn Superman robots.

October 22, 6025: Dogs and cats become people, use iPhones, enslave humanity, pee in corners of house.

October 28, 7025: Motion-comics become the dominant form of all entertainment everywhere, saves humanity, reduces dogs and cats back to their previous servile state, cleans pee out of carpets, defeats Superman robots.

October 29, 7056: Damn pole-shift.

October 30, 9009: Printing-press invented.

*Please note: between the 38 years that the Internet was invented and Zuda.com launched, there were also a number of comics of various sorts released online: funny comics, sad comics, happy comics, angry comics. But did they have a werewolf western? Nooooooo...

Hot "Dark Wolverine" Custom Action Figure

2009-10-29T15:52:00.005-04:00

Some action figures look ugly. I mean, their faces: ugly ugly. One day I'll do a post on that, "Top Ten Ugliest Action Figure Faces," though I suspect Topless Robot has already done it.

But this custom Dark Wolverine figure, by "Cal's Customs," looks awesome and scrumptious.

Best of all, when you get sick of looking at Daken's mohawked-mug, you just pop the head off and...Ta-da!

Words I Don't Like

2009-10-29T12:58:00.010-04:00

This is a list of words I don't like:

moist: makes me think of water-logged pound cake

yogurt: an ugly word for something that is awesome

multitask: "we just fired three other people in your department. we're going to need you to multitask for a while and do their jobs for free."

maybe: if somebody tells you "maybe," that usually means "probably not" but they don't have the heart to full-out turn you down

never: if somebody tells you "never," what they really mean is that if you send them a big chocolate cake, they will change their mind

anywho: the person who invented this word should be hurt

bran: I know we need bran to poop, but would have preferred "poo-poo grains" or something more fun

chillax: a great word to use when you want to make me even more angry

menses: it always reminds me of the actress Heather Menzies

uterus: a very awkward word that I feel distances women from the wonder of their own bodies. I prefer "baby cave."

content: I know I'm guilty of this too, but...when any sort of creatively-derived work is referred to as "content," I just feel it reduces the referred-to entity to packing peanuts or cans of peaches. It's like Michelangelo is working on the Sistine Chapel and his boss looks up and says: "hey, that's going to be great content! We could syndicate that on these new e-readers and run banner ads on them and shit."

product: see "content"

intellectual property: see "content" and "product," with the added insinuation that you are going to be screwed in some way.

metrosexual: created and nurtured by a slick band of marketers to convince dudes that paying attention to one's bodily hygiene and personal appearance isn't "gay"

tween: created and nurtured by a slick band of marketers to sell bellybutton rings to eleven-year-olds.

lol: outside of an actual chat room or cat photo, I don't want to see this word

fanboy: I always pictured that this word was invented by some comic book collector who thought he was better and more mature than all the other comic book collectors. A line of demarcation, if you will. "No, he's a fanboy; I'm a sequential art collector." Of course, this guy isn't a "sequential art collector," he's just a pompous dipshit who God forbid might actually have access to a blog.

cunt: I prefer "coont," which I think sounds a little more playful and vaguely British

Orwellian: too often used by people who are for anybody's right to free speech but yours

McCarthyite: see "Orwellian"

tampon: for some reason I immediately think of a large Styrofoam floatation device whenever I hear this word. "We're sinking fast...break out the tampons and hold on for your dear lives!"

vegan: immediately makes me think of the word "Vulcan," and the fact that Vulcans think they're superior to rest of the Federation. If you don't know it by now, I use a lot of word-association to remember things. I also think of Pulp Fiction hitman Vincent Vega when I see the word "vegan". And Suzanne Vega. And Sega.

bullet-point: annoying when used in a non-ammo context

inner-child: my inner-child is very skillful at chewing up Ritz crackers, spitting them up onto a fresh Ritz cracker, putting another fresh Ritz cracker on top of it, and calling it a "Ritz Cracker Sandwich." Getting in touch with her has almost as many pitfalls as benefits.

What words do YOU not like?

"Palm Beach Sugar Daddy Ken"

2009-10-28T17:20:00.003-04:00

Seriously, this is the actual name of an actual Ken doll offered by Mattel right now: Palm Beach Sugar Daddy Ken.

From the product description:

"Cool sophistication in breezy Palm Beach! Sporting a dashing jacquard-patterned jacket with a light pink polo shirt and crisp white pants, Ken doll is ready for Palm Beach social season, sunning by the pool and a stroll with his little companion."

For some reason Palm Beach Sugar Daddy Ken immediately reminded me of this guy:

Via Topless Robot, "Mattel Has Lost Their Minds, via Geek Girl Diva, "Sugar Daddy Ken?! Barbie You Saucy Minx!"

New A-Team Movie Photo

2009-10-28T15:09:00.004-04:00

What do you think? "Yay" or "meh"? (click for larger)

It's kind of cool, but Liam Neeson looks sort of Photoshopped. I can tell by the number of pixels and from seeing a lot of Photoshops in my time.

I go though these jags where I see a lot of action-adventure movies and many are not chosen out of any sort of discriminating taste. "A-Team The Movie" may fall under this category. Still, if this does well we might soon see "Riptide" as a major motion-picture, so let's keep our fingers crossed.

Sexy Halloween Costumes For Your Pets

2009-10-28T12:34:00.007-04:00

A common dilemma pet owners have during the Halloween season is: "how do I find slutty costumes for my dog?"

Look no further. Whether your pooch is set to play the sexy schoolgirl or an imperious dominatrix, Leg Avenue has the hot Halloween costumes for your pet. Inappropriately sexy outfits need not be the sole domain of the Cyrus family spawn any longer!

Misses the old days when Halloween was an innocent time for canines:

American Vampire Re-Visions The Wild West and The Jazz Age

2009-10-28T09:25:00.013-04:00

An exciting new series from Vertigo Comics hits stands in March: American Vampire.

American Vampire combines a supernaturally-themed western with a supernaturally-themed jazz-age motif.

I said, American Vampire combines a supernaturally-themed western...

...with a supernaturally-themed jazz-age motif.

Now, if you can't wait until March to read this fascinating and unique take on the horror genre, be sure to check out High Moon and The Night Owls on Zuda. They're free!

The Church of Fictionology

2009-10-27T15:19:00.006-04:00

From The Onion:

"Fictionology's central belief, that any imaginary construct can be incorporated into the church's ever-growing set of official doctrines, continues to gain popularity. Believers in Santa Claus, his elves, or the Tooth Fairy are permitted—even encouraged—to view them as deities. Even corporate mascots like the Kool-Aid Man are valid objects of Fictionological worship.
"My personal savior is Batman," said Beverly Hills plastic surgeon Greg Jurgenson. "My wife chooses to follow the teachings of the Gilmore Girls. Of course, we are still beginners. Some advanced-level Fictionologists have total knowledge of every lifetime they have ever lived for the last 80 trillion years."

"Sure, it's total bullshit," Jurgenson added. "But that's Fictionology. Praise Batman!""

Microsoft Just Realizes Now That Family Guy Is Tasteless

2009-10-27T09:03:00.003-04:00

Wasn't anybody at Microsoft "hep" to the notion that Family Guy features tasteless jokes about tampons, incest, the Holocaust, etc., BEFORE the company decided to become the cartoon's sponsor?

According to The Hollywood Reporter's "Live Feed" blog, Microsoft has suddenly pulled out of being the exclusive sponsor for the upcoming Family Guy "Variety Special." This partnership would have included highly integrating Microsoft product in with the cartoon, as you can see from this promo:

The reason Microsoft has given for the about-face?

"We initially chose to participate in the Seth and Alex variety show based on the audience composition and creative humor of 'Family Guy,' but after reviewing an early version of the variety show it became clear that the content was not a fit with the Windows brand."

Well, duh!

On the other hand, isn't Microsoft trying to seem more hip n' edgy through their recent marketing campaigns? What screams hip n' edgy more than the "I'm A Prom Night Dumpster Baby" song and Peter doing the farty-footy pajamas shtick?

New Chris Farley Direct TV Ad

2009-10-26T21:54:00.005-04:00

Is this new Direct TV ad starring Chris Farley and David Spade tasteless – or awesome?

I'm torn on it. It's kind of nice seeing Farley and Spade together again, even if it's just shilling some damn product. And when lifelike 3-D animation is totally perfected you're probably going to see whole movies starring dead people. So this is tame in comparison.

(my favorite YouTube comment for this commercial is: "can't wait til they make an awesome Kung Fu movie with Bruce Lee when the technology gets better." Or you could just watch "Game of Death," which has an actual picture of Lee's head taped on some nameless actor's body.)

Question: What TV Show Is Way Past Due For Cancellation?

2009-10-26T17:59:00.003-04:00

I'm putting to you the following question:

What TV show currently on the air is way past its expiration date and is starting to really stink?
This is not merely a show that is bad: but a show that used to be good that's either stayed around too long and became bad, or showed early brilliance and has made a swift inexplicable decline.

Note: the Simpsons graphic above was not meant to imply that I think it is one of those "way past due" shows. Though this season is really hit or miss for me, and the Seth Rogen superhero episode was kind of painful.

Webcomic iPhone App "Strips" Stripped

2009-10-26T17:45:00.000-04:00

I found myself on an email thread earlier today regarding the Strips app for the iPhone. Apparently, the app-maker had a stellar list of strips lined up for this webcomic-reading app (including Cyanide and Happiness, PVP, Garfield Minus Garfield, Penny Arcade, xkcd, and others): but most didn't know it. That's because the Strips app had an "opt-out" policy rather than an "opt-in" one. If you didn't want to be on Strips, you had to contact the app-maker and let him know. Rather than, say, the app-maker contacting you to see if this is something you'd be interested in.

Strips also wasn't just a webcomics reader for the iPhone, but somewhat of a "publisher's network" to share ad revenue. AdMob would provide the ads, the webcomics would be mirrored on Amazon's S3, and there would even be integrated metrics tracking. I'm not sure if the app actually collected money from the webcomics it "syndicated" without permission. But the concern was definitely out there in the webcomics community that it might be.

Finally, when you visited the site, it had a big page with logos of all those webcomics (since taken down). At first glance, it looked very impressive, and appeared to the outsider that they were "on board" with Strips. But, as I mentioned before – they weren't "on board." But their logos were almost acting like "advertising" or some sort of endorsement for an app they were not participating with.

Since I received that initial email earlier today, this story has blown up, with much Twittering by various webcomics creators about and with Strips.

Scott Kurtz twittered,

And he's charging for it. AND he's using my comic name and logo to market it. See the problem?

Strips has now indicated on Twitter that they have pulled the app, and has issued an apology on their site:

"This summer, I decided to try my hand at making an iPhone application that would make it easier to read comics on the iPhone. I started by building an application and, over the proceeding weeks, sent out emails to a number of publishers asking them if they would like to be a part of the app. I hoped that this would be above-and-beyond the existing iPhone apps that display comics without any ads or even a hint at working with the artists. In theory I believed this was an honorable approach, but I became too eager with the product and released it anyway, hoping that I could provide each artist with useful analytics in the meantime.

As the weeks went on, I finished the app and submitted it to the app store. At that point, I had only received word from a couple web comics including Dinosaur Comics and Ctrl+Alt+Delete. Both asked to not be a part of the app, and so I immediately made sure that they weren't listed. The problem with this approach is that it's opt-out, when it should have been opt-in from the start.

A result of this is the recent understandable backlash from a number of artists concerning their content being available on Strips. I want to iterate as much as possible that I am more than willing to work with artists to help them publish their content on the iPhone, but that I have gone about it absolutely the wrong way thus far."

At least Strips moved quickly regarding this incident, and truly does seem sorry for what has happened. But I think some webcomic creators are shaken/pissed off by the idea that their work and trademarks could just be "grabbed" like that. And, as the world of iPhone apps and webcomics for mobile gets more defined – and, in some cases, monetised – this will most likely not be the last "growing pain" regarding this aspect of the industry.

At this point, the best course of action for Strips to take would seem to be to concentrate on working with smaller webcomic producers who are actively seeking to publish and monetise on the Web, rebuild trust, and start anew. Or approach a smaller print or web publisher about doing a partnership.

Recommended: Jeff Lemire's "Sweet Tooth"

2009-10-26T16:31:00.005-04:00

Whenever I write that a comic is more than a comic, but "literature," I worry that such an assessment also insinuates in effect that most comics are not literature. That assigning the word "literature" to a comic is some sort of aberration – or, worst yet, mere patronizing praise. And that's not what I mean to say. I mean to say that I put various comics in various categories, the way I put various books in various categories. There are some books that I enjoy as tight legal thrillers or exaggerated action-adventure potboilers; I don't consider them "literature," but instead more like straight entertainment. A best-selling author like Stephen King can fall either way depending on the book. Ditto for Grant Morrison. But to me, there's a difference, a (highly subjective) line of demarcation.

I consider Jeff Lemire's comic "Sweet Tooth" to be literature.

In his guest-editorial for Vertigo, Lemire describes "Sweet Tooth" as a "post-apocalyptic, neo-western, action-adventure, science fiction, road-movie hybrid." Forget all that & back up. "Sweet Tooth" is an affecting tale of isolation and forbidden knowledge. The first issue finds a strange young man expressing the desire to learn more about the world and who he is. His father has isolated him in a cabin surrounded by snow and emptiness, and seeks to keep his son from attaining this self-knowledge: hoping to keep him safe in ignorance. But like every good hero's journey, this situation cannot stand.

Why does this boy look the way he does? What is the "accident" his father refers to? And what's with all the shooty-guns and violence?

I read this comic after finishing a book with a similar desolate, snowy tone, Russell Banks' "Affliction." Both works successfully utilize the vast, empty landscapes of the American north to convey the utter alienation, and paradoxical yearning for self-awareness, of the main characters.

Books like "Sweet Tooth" and "Air" are what Vertigo Comics should be producing, in my opinion. I like Vertigo's "action" stuff, and of course "Fables" is the big cash cow at the moment, but I fear that quirkier comics like Lemire's work gets potentially lost in the shuffle and the flash. Then there is the question of, once I've spent the introductory price of $1 for "Sweet Tooth" #1, buying the other single issues or waiting for the trade or hardcover. My temptation, honestly, is to wait for the collected edition. But then does my waiting contribute to hurting the longevity of this title? Or has Vertigo/DC figured this reluctance to purchase monthly issues as part of the equation?

Answering my own question: in this economy, I would think the monthly issue sales are crucial & necessary for supporting a new title.

Batman & Robin Pole-Dancers At The Big Apple Comic Con, 2009

2009-10-26T12:14:00.007-04:00

I just found this gem at The Beat:

It's not really the pole-dancing that bothers me, it's the fact that they are on a wheeled cart.

They are on a wheeled pole-dancer cart.

On the other hand, this might be a great selling-point to get DC Comics more involved with their convention next year. Imagine if you had a pole-dancer representing every female in the DC Universe, several on each wheeled cart. Of course, special care would have to be taken to prevent pole-dancing cart traffic jams and collisions. But you roll the training of the cart drivers into the sponsorship fee. The pole-dancers, of course, have to provide their own costumes – the costumes are not included in the fee. I mean, that is just the code of comic con pole-dancers. B.Y.O.T.A.C. – Bring Your Own Thong And Cape.

What's Up With Smallville?

2009-10-26T09:11:00.005-04:00

Smallville: All-Justin, All The Time

Did anybody see last week's episode? A second emo Oliver Queen story in a row! I couldn't believe they had the stones to do that. It was near-unwatchable. And the last 15 minutes of the episode was like one scene of two people talking "blah blah blah" after another. Seriously, it was Oliver talking to Lois, then Oliver talking to Clark, then Clark talking to Chloe. And not even talking about interesting, dramatic stuff. But just using that time to regurgitate exposition and go over the same emo talking points over and over and over again.

Justin Hartley is hot, but I just don't find his Oliver Queen a compelling enough character to go through two concurrent episodes of his "personal hell." I don't find this new General Zod compelling either, nor the entire Kryptonian storyline. I don't want to watch an entire episode of Tess Mercer getting progressively more facial bruises.

To me, the "rock" of that show is simply Clark Kent himself. He is the only person I still find interesting in that show, who I feel is believably growing and evolving as a character. But I think the key to shows like "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" is that there is a strong supporting cast to back the main character up. The main character shouldn't have the burden of being the "rock." You know, maybe Willow or Xander was the "rock" on BTVS. But who is the "rock" of Smallville? Chloe? Good God. Talk about a character whose only perceived value at this point is being prophesied to die.

But this is all about a series which is probably on its last season anyhow. I just want the "permission" to stop watching it. I always feel this "duty" to watch it because it is a superhero TV show, but really I could be catching up on the episodes of "Community" I missed on Hulu or something.

A superhero TV show should never be boring.

Tom Cruise: American Psycho?

2009-10-23T16:00:00.000-04:00

The fact that Christian Bale used Tom Cruise as his inspiration for playing Patrick Bateman is just so awesome...

As quoted from an interview with American Psycho director Mary Harron:

"We talked about how Martian-like Patrick Bateman was, how he was looking at the world like somebody from another planet, watching what people did and trying to work out the right way to behave. And then one day he called me and he had been watching Tom Cruise on David Letterman, and he just had this very intense friendliness with nothing behind the eyes, and he was really taken with this energy."

I think I've mentioned this already on my blog, but I recently viewed that Oprah appearance Cruise did in its entirety, and it is SCARY. Definitely the "nothing behind the eyes" thing there.

And yet: Cruise actually seems more human when he acts. Many of his performances, from "Born On The Fourth of July" to "Magnolia," seem so heartfelt. Even "War of The Worlds" – I mean, he played such a believable concerned parent, just this ordinary down-to-earth guy.

Anyway, Tom Cruise, for being the inspiration for Christian Bale's performance as Patrick Bateman – I salute you!

"I Eat Planets" from Superhero Movie

"American Psycho" Movie Trailer

Tom Cruise

I'd Like To See This Scene Directed By Paul Verhoeven

2009-10-23T10:50:00.002-04:00

found on Post*Boy

October Sad Month For Pop-Culture Fans

2009-10-23T08:32:00.007-04:00

While nowhere as prolific as this year's infamous "summer of death," October has been a sad month for pop-culture fans, with several passings that I wanted to take note of but haven't had the chance to until now.

First, kiddie TV host Soupy Sales has just passed. By the time I was a child of TV-viewing age (you know, three months+), his show had been off the air – but I got to know him through his many appearances on talk shows, game shows, etc. The Soupy Sales show was like interpretative jazz for youngsters...I don't know how else to explain it. He never talked down to his viewers, and often seemed to be maintaining a private joke with his crew.

In this clip, an older Soupy explains the importance of "micro-payments":

Second, as I'm sure you are well aware, pro wrestling legend Captain Lou Albano died. It was my privilege to meet Lou at a comic book convention several years ago, and he was an extremely nice guy. Yes, as a child I regarded him as an Italian role-model on national TV. By the time I was old enough to be embarrassed at the portrayal of Italians in the Super Mario Bros game and TV show, the role-model thing had lessened a bit. But I'd take Lou over Bob Hoskins any day of the week. As a recent South Park episode spotlighted, a lot of the best pro wrestling involves more acting than wrestling; Lou could do both, and it's as an excellent and entertaining performer that I will remember him.

And Addams Family composer Vic Mizzy died! I always remember Mizzy's name in the old Addams Family TV show closing credits:

Did those closing credits, where the cast had to stand still through the entire thing, make you nervous? I was a very sensitive kid: it made me nervous, watching the actors twitch and fidget slightly as they tried to stay still.

Joseph "Dr. No" Wiseman also passed on. He played the first Bond movie villain, and the last surviving actor to have played a Bond villain in the Sean Connery era.
Finally, comic book great George Tuska died on Oct. 15th at the age of 93. There's an oft-quoted description of his work from A.V. Club that patronizingly/derisively refers to his art as follows: "Tuska was perfectly competent, and his art for titles like Iron Man and The Incredible Hulk is decent, though unspectacular. But his drawing was so quickly assayed, and so essentially flavorless, that he became the King Of The Fill-In Issue, hopping in to provide bland, forgettable work whenever someone else blew a deadline."

And I really want to say: that opinion is crap! Artists like Tuska not only brought in the work on time, but their renderings and page compositions were of a superior illustrative quality that you just don't see much of anymore. Maybe some would call it "classic," and say that this style just isn't relevant anymore; I hope not. I appreciate the work of people like Tuska a hell of a lot more now than when I was a kid and buying books from "flavor of the month" artists.

As for A.V. Club's assignation to Tuska of the "King Of The Fill-In Issue" title – as a former comic book editor, I THANK GOD for pencillers and inkers who can turn around clean, tight, well-composed comic art quickly for whatever reason. Some of these artists work on such crazy break-neck schedules that it would make your head spin. And I think they are often taken for granted because they seem like they're always there and ready to take the work.

And that's it. Let's hope that the last week of October proves not to be as "busy" as the first three weeks. I want my childhood idols alive, dammit!

I Got No Time To Wear Fake Mustaches

2009-10-22T10:30:00.004-04:00

My schedule is so tight, that every time I decide to sit down and do something fanciful like a "top ten" post or whatnot, I picture Stewie standing over me with a flamethrower saying, "Oh, you got time to wear fake mustaches, huh? A little top ten post on your favorite TV shows? A witty anecdote about funny thing your cat did? Must be real nice, living a life of leeeeeisure. GET BACK TO WORK!"

Seriously. That's my day.

That, and: "I SENT YOU THE REVIEW COPY TWO MONTHS AGO! YOU REVIEWED THIS DUDE'S COMIC THAT JUST CAME OUT LAST WEEK, YOU HAD MY BOOK FOR TWO FREAKING MONTHS!!! BY THE TIME YOU REVIEW MY BOOK, IT WILL BE ON OVERSTOCK.COM!!! WTF???"

Actually, nobody has ever said that to me. But I do it to myself to keep me honest. I am my own Stewie with a flamethrower.

How My Kitten Lets Me Know She Needs To Be Fed

2009-10-22T09:01:00.006-04:00

Flying leap into the air and biting me on the back of my thigh.

It's like: "Hey! Stop f**king around! Feed me, dammit! I'm only six months old and my body is growing at an amazing rate!"

Then she bites at my fingers as I scoop the food into the dish:

"Scoop faster, dammit! Stop f**king around! What are you making: an art installation?"

I like to chalk up her wild, impatient, and somewhat violent nature to the fact that she is a kitten, after all, and full of energy. Plus, we found her on the street, and I think she probably had to fight to survive & stuff like that. So I think the biting and scratching, the sniper attacks, the attempt to eat my extremities if I don't get out of bed fast enough – I think this is all natural and something she will grow out of.

Anyway, I'm hoping the costume I buy her for Halloween will show her how much I care and help us bond more:

Embracing The Uncomfortable

2009-10-20T22:11:00.005-04:00

This post follows-up on the one I did last week about my new blog project on overcoming my fears and trying new things. I figured, for those who were interested, I'd give you an actual insight on how I'm tackling this project and what I'm thinking about.

Basically, I looked back on the list I wrote of things I might try, and I was scared shitless.

Honestly, I said "F**k this, I don't need to do any of this. Furthermore, I don't have the time or resources. So really the easiest and most sensible thing to do is to stop this tomfoolery right now."

That's right: I actually used the word "tomfoolery."

But then I thought I perhaps lifted the bar too far, too fast. So instead of attempting right away, say, rock-climbing, I would start really small. I would start with my attitude towards things. I would try to change my attitude, and then see if my reaction to these "scary things" changed.

Right now, I know my base philosophy is that the world is very often dangerous: and that if I chip a tooth on one of my adventures, that's going to cost me a lot of money to fix so why risk it? Certainly, the world contains many dangers, but it also contains many wonders as well. How do I shift my focus from the former to the latter? How do I change my attitude? How do I open myself up?

So I did what I usually do when trying to learn new things: I consulted YouTube.

And out of all the seminars, inspirational quotes, and self-help videos I watched/read, the most valuable insight I received was this:

The main reason I avoid doing things that I feel are "scary" is not because of the actual thing itself, but of the uncomfortable feeling I have accompanying it.

That uncomfortable feeling is a mix of fear, dread, and anxiety.

Now: how do I overcome my fear?

Get used to the sensation of having the uncomfortable feeling until I become relatively immune to it.

For example, if I have a fear of public speaking, the only way to get over it is to keep doing it and doing it. That is the only way.

If I have a fear of travel: I need to travel, a lot.

But the base of it all is: purposely experiencing that uncomfortable feeling. Getting intimate with it, understanding it, not running away from it.

To me, this makes sense. And also, the prospect seems as scary as hell. But at least I found some sort of mechanism by which to start.

So: another update as I progress.

12 Days of Halloween: My Ten Favorite Scary Comics

2009-10-20T19:28:00.015-04:00

This list of my favorite scary comic books will include individual stories as well...

10. New Teen Titans #3,
"Souls As White As Heaven...As Black As Hell!"

Checklist: 1) Countless bodies wound into writhing agonized ropy things; 2) Batman caught in contraption that graphically impales him and stabs his legs and arms; 3) Evil Donna graphically rips Terry's throat out; 4) Evil Gar rips out Cyborg's heart and eats it; 5) the Titans become writhing agonized ropy things. My age when first reading this? Ten.

9. That issue of the old Marvel "Nightmare On Elm Street" magazine where people's intestines kept springing out of their mouths.

I swear to God, I remember a story in that ill-fated 1980s magazine like that: where people kept having their intestines jump out of their body through their oral cavity. If it wasn't "NOES" magazine, it was something similar. And if I imagined the entire thing, you can put that issue of that old Image team book where Supreme went batshit and ripped off arms and pulled this guy's jaw off as a substitute. Unless I imagined that as well.

8. 30 Days Of Night

The style of this book is often imitated, but the imitators just don't realize it's more than just the art style that made it such a hit; it was the whole mood, the awful, isolated feeling of it. The creeping dread, the guilt. In the end: the crippling/crippled humanity behind the vampires.

7. Girls

You'll never look the same way again at cute naked chicks who live just to have sex with you. With a premise like that, you'd think this would be just some cheesy parody; but it's far more like "The Walking Dead" than "Playboy's Halloween Hotties IV." Really wrenching, creepy moments.

6. Twisted Tales #1, "Infected"

"I must warn you: I have crabs."

5. Sweetmeats

This one-shot from Atomika about a teenage girl who's a vampire is just so damn obscure, and just so damn influential on my writing in terms of being impressed with its unflinching honesty. Would love to find a copy of this one again.

4. X-Men: Heroes For Hope

Unlike Nightcrawler, this fundraising book for African famine relief was not "warm and fuzzy." Checklist: 1) Stephen King story where Kitty Pryde becomes dessicated starving body who is fed maggoty corn-on-the-cob; 2) Lovecraft demon punches Magneto in the Cerebro-um, then zombies presumably eat him alive; 3) Rachel Summers' limbs are graphically burned to match-sticks; 4) Storm turns into an overweight housewife. My age when first reading this? Eleven. This and the New Teen Titans book used to take turns as Most Scary Book Ever – and both are actually very similar in terms of illustrating the "private hells" of the characters.

3. The Golden Age Of Vertigo Comics

You remember the titles: Sandman, Hellblazer, Swamp Thing, Shade the Changing Man, Doom Patrol. The horror anthologies. The mini-series. Not all of it was strictly horror, of course – but overall, the imprint's offerings gave a much-needed boost to the horror genre in comic books.

2. Tomb Of Dracula

I like all of 70s Marvel horror, but Tomb of Dracula was the horror comic par excellence. Even with the occasional gimmicky characters and storylines (Dr. Sun, Janus, etc.), the title remained consistent, moody, and wonderful. This was due in no small part to the work of Gene Colan & Tom Palmer, whose renderings gave the comic a cinematic quality. And that particular characterization of Dracula stands out in my mind as one of the best: relentlessly evil & a formidable foe, despite momentary flashes of humanity.

1. Uzumaki

A horror tale of a near-Biblical scope that always punches me in the gut by the time I'm through reading the entire thing. And I re-read it often. It both sucks me in and gives me the sort of palpable, physical unease the writings of Lovecraft does. My absolute favorite comic – period, regardless of genre. The level I hope to achieve one day in my own writing, or at least aspire to...

But there are also so many other scary/horror comics out there I could recommend: Hellboy, Sullengrey, Ghost Rider, the EC stuff, and so much more...

And, of course...

HIGH MOON!

12 Days Of Halloween: New Nightmare On Elm Street Trailer

2009-10-20T17:34:00.005-04:00

I think this will be the first of a "12 Days Of Halloween" thing where I discuss some horror topics...

I just saw the trailer for the "Nightmare On Elm Street." The first thing that immediately struck me was: "A Michael Bay Film." Wow.

I think a Michael Bay "NOES" won't suck, necessarily, but I fear it's going to have a slick & shiny quality that the original movie lacked. The Wes Craven version was DARK. I know people say this new version will be darker. But I repeat: the Wes Craven "Nightmare On Elm Street" was DARK DARK DARK. An absolutely brutal film, even watching it over 20 years later. Yeah, Freddy had a couple of wisecracks, but in the context of how visceral the film was, those quips only added to the horror.

There's dark and visceral and gripping – and then there is dark and bleak and boring. I would love to see this new film, especially with Jackie Earle Haley as Freddy, be perhaps a deeper mediation on the character. My fear is that it might fall into dark/bleak/boring. Or slick/shiny/dark/bleak/boring.

But I could be wrong. I'm not going to be a complete crybaby fangirl about this – but 85% of the reason I'm withholding judgement is Jackie Earle Haley.

BTW, I once interviewed Robert Englund at San Diego ComicCon. He was a far smaller, more compact person than I though he was going to be. But he just crackled with this energy about him, and was just totally fascinating.

BTW BTW, I liked the Rob Zombie Halloween remake; liked the Dawn of the Dead remake and even Texas Chainsaw Massacre. So basically, I'm an easy mark.

Lieutenant Thompson: "What did the coroner have to say?"
Cop: "He's been puking in the john since he's seen it."

The Man In The Spider-Man Suit

2009-10-20T15:02:00.006-04:00

If you want to read some fascinating stuff about being a "Spidey Mascot" in the 1980s, be sure to check out the "Heroes In My Closet" blog. Think of it as the memoirs of a "cosplay pioneer," who officially portrayed Spider-Man, Green Goblin, and other Marvel characters in North America and Europe for ten years.

I love these details:

"The Spider-Man suit was brilliantly crafted—comfortable, functional and visually stunning. It worked on anyone from 5'9" to 6'3". It’s ease of transport made it possible to fit in any over-the-shoulder bag as small as a Ziploc. I never had to waste time at the baggage carousel, or worry that the suit might get lost in transit."

"Despite all the great qualities of the Spidey suit—it’s nigh-perfect interpretation of the character; the ease of movement and relative comfort for the wearer; the vibrancy of its colors; the facility in its tranportation, cleaning and upkeep—it did present an odd downside: one-dimensionality, a tromp l’oeil effect that flattened the character, making him appear like a cardboard cutout, i.e. not real. From afar the affect is more pronounced. A child may not “see” me, even though directly looking at me, or sees Spider-Man, but thinks it is just a display."

"McFarlane’s popularity made my appearances more difficult. I was frequently asked, “Why are your eyes so little?” Some of the more confrontational fans challenged with “You’re not Spider-Man. Your eyes are too small.” I’d remain unperturbed and counter with “You must be referring to that McFarlane guy’s wild interpretation of me in the comics,” but the “eye” attacks only increased while my patience decreased."

The last quote comes from a fascinating post that describes how Marvel changed the standard "personal appearances" Spider-Man costume to fit the Todd McFarlane "look." I think a bunch of us remember the old Spidey costume from the TV show "The Electric Company" and other places: the one with the small eyes.

I never ran into Spidey at one of those events, but I did get Wolverine's autograph at Jim Hanley's many many many years ago. I remember analyzing his handwriting carefully: this was, after all, the hero who survived the Weapon X program and so many adventures. How did he dot his "i"?

Anyway, it's a fun blog – never crass or bitter about the subject matter – with a header and original illustrations drawn by the late great Rusty Haller, and is recommended.