Standup Comedy Tips from Judy Carter

Comedy Family Values

2009-09-03T10:01:00.000-07:00

“Comedian Sunda Croonquist has been getting big laughs making ethnic stereotype jokes about her mother-in-law, but it’s no laughing matter as her mother-in-law is suing her for character defamation.” – People Magazine

Oh come on! This reeks of self-promotion. The number of views on Sunda’s YouTube page were in single digits until this story broke. Suddenly, she’s been on "Larry King," "The Today Show" and all over "People" Magazine. I think this whole thing was planned as a PR stunt and how nice of her mother-in-law to go along with it.

This bogus suit will probably be thrown out, and it’s a good thing as if we comics didn’t have families, we wouldn’t have material. In fact, here are some great zingers from some of our recent workshop comics, as they performed them at the Hollywood Improv:

"I grew up with a distant father... He lived all the way over on the couch."
- Kevan C. Peterson

“While my parents were busy looking for themselves, they couldn't seem to find their way home, but they would send postcards from the corner bar.”
- Tavia Smalley

“John Elway's son quit football and Michael Jordan's son looks like the missing member of Fat Albert's gang. It must be hard being the son of a superstar...glad I'm my dad's son. No expectations to live up to there.”
-Dawan Owens

Writing a good joke about someone is a form of flattery. In fact, most of my students families are disappointed when they aren’t personally mentioned in their showcase.

If by slim chance that law suit is real, I would like to make an offer to Sunda's mother-in-law: I will write you an act with your daughter-in-law as the butt of your jokes. Let’s face it, having the last laugh is the best revenge.

Stop Looking for Open Mics and learn how to be a Motivational-Humorist

2009-08-03T13:17:00.000-07:00

My fellow speakers are going to kill me, but I am going to do a workshop this September that will reveal the secrets to a successful career as a corporate speaker.

It started in 1991 when I revamped my stand-up act by adding a motivational message as well as poignancy. Suddenly, after playing comedy clubs and staying in cockroach invested "Comedy Condos," I had my first speaking gig. Now, I was staying at the Four Seasons, flying first class, and making as much money in one hour as it would have taken me in three weeks of working the clubs. Sweet!

I then learned exactly how to market myself exclusively to the corporate market. The results? In 2008 I had over 50 speaking gigs, 2 of which included travel gigs in China and Berlin. One of my best gigs was for an insurance company where I got to spend a magnificent week on the 5 star Regency Cruise Line. They flew me and my spouse first class to Ft. Lauderdale where we boarded the ship and had our own personal butler, a balcony, a marble bathtub and shower. I was told “Order anything you want anytime of the day or night.” Just for fun, at 3am we ordered Baked Alaska, just to see what would happen. It came. And it was delicious. I scuba dove in Mexico, zip lined in Honduras, and on the last day, I did my hour long speech. OK, maybe I had to spend the week with insurance agents, but not too shabby of a downside.

It was on this trip that I truly realized the disparity between comics and speakers. There were two comics who had been hired by The Regency Line to do their set three times a week in the night club after dinner. I kept trying to find them, and when I finally did we sat and had a drink together.

“I’ve been looking for you guys…”
”Well, they told us not to mingle with the guests,” he revealed.
“Well, isn’t it great being on a ship, and sitting on your balcony at night?!”
“We don’t have a balcony. Our rooms are in the bottom of the ship with sealed 8 inch portholes.”
“Well, it’s gotta be cool having such a lucrative gig on a boat!”
“Not so much… we make $1500/week and have to work three nights a week.”

I didn’t have the heart to tell them that besides my vacation, I got paid $25,000 for my one, hour long speech.

This was shocking to me, as one of the comics on the ship had just done Letterman and had more television exposure than I’d ever had. But the perceived value of being a "speaker" was more than the value of "being funny," even though that is mostly what I do when I speak.

I'm going to be doing a one-day workshop to show comics how they can make the transition to this lucrative field of corporate comedy. Come join us on Saturday, September 26th, 10am - 4:00pm, in Los Angeles! Click here for more information.

Comedy S & M

2009-07-16T16:03:00.000-07:00

In the 1980's, I was listening to an interview with Jane Fonda who at the time was a major movie star, wrote a memoir, developed a line of clothes as well as ran her business, "Jane Fonda Workout." In this interview she referred to herself as "Lazy."

I get it. Successful people don't generally have high self esteem. So if you think you are a total slacker, stupid, and untalented, you probably have what it takes to be successful in comedy.

Although I have successfully written three books, as well as have enough material to fill a 2-hour comedy concert, in writing my new book, or any time I try something new, I feel like a total failure.

My first drafts are fifth-grader level. I'm such a bad speller that even MS spell-checker can't figure out what I am trying to say. I procrastinate as well, and seem to look for ideas in the refrigerator. There are none there unless you consider wilted spinach a premise.

I realized something today while complaining to Jamie, our Workshop Coordinator, how horribly my writing was going this week. Then it dawned on me: Worrying, fretting, and self flagellation are actually a productive part of my creative process. Looking back, I realized that every successful thing I’ve done has been preceded by months, and even years, of anguish and self chastisement.

Psychologists did a study on self-esteem and their results were surprising. The people who tested for "high self esteem" were mostly criminals in prison. They just felt they deserved your TV. The surprise of the study was that the people who tested low on the self esteem totem pole were the very people who created the test – the psychologists.

What does this mean? It means that low self esteem is good, because if you think you're a worthless piece of shit, then you try to do good things to prove otherwise. I bet that Mother Theresa's father said to her, "Theresa, you, you you! That's all you think about! You are the most selfish little girl around." And thus, we wouldn't have saints if we didn't have critical parents. And we probably wouldn’t have comics if it weren’t for low self esteem.

So, start writing about your feelings of worthlessness and as you write, perhaps they can transform into material that is worthwhile.

Keeping It Real with Authentic Comedy

2009-06-30T10:12:00.000-07:00

You might have noticed that reality TV has taken over the television airwaves. Why? Perhaps, with so much of our lives spent socializing with "virtual" friends, there is a longing for substance. People want their entertainment real – meaning no actors pretending to be real people, no scripts, and certainly no stand-up comics faking that their five-year old premises that are still pissing them off.

The call is now for totally authentic comedy. Sacha Baron Cohen has captured this "realness" in his films, where the people in it don’t even realize that they are in a comedy. So, how do we comics capture this authenticity?

In our last showcase at The Hollywood Improv, first time performer Tavia Smalley based her entire act on being in the moment and about her fear of doing stand-up. As she didn't have any carved jokes, I didn't know how her set would go over with the audience. So how did it play? She killed, as the audience at the Improv fell totally in love with her realness on stage. She wasted no time being completely honest:

"Any shy people out there? Can you imagine being up here? Neither can I." Click here to see more of her act.

The days of "Hack" topics such as Depends ads, self-flushing toilets, airports, and car nose picking are long gone. What has replaced them is finding the humor in the real stuff that doesn’t readily seem funny.

Many times, the more serious a topic and the more difficult it is to find humor in it, the better it is. I'm currently coaching a motivational speaker who is working on finding "the funny" in her story about her family disinheriting her.

As for myself, I’m being challenged by writing about my dark childhood. I seem only to be able to write at 5am as that's before my inner critic wakes up to stop me from revealing things I’ve repressed for too many years.

Getting it out on paper is the chore and finding the humor is the challenge.

Stay tuned.

Making money by being funny

2009-06-17T15:59:00.000-07:00

A weird thing happened this last tax quarter. As I was contemplating how to pay my quarterly taxes, I got a call from the IRS. Believe it or not, I loved hearing from them as they hired me to do two gigs. Which means, they'll simply be returning the money I'll be giving them. I love doing these corporate gigs.

Are you having trouble getting gigs, stand-up comics? You might want to rethink the “Making money from being funny” job market. Stand-up taught me so much: timing, connecting to an audience, writing material. I worked out my stand-up act for years in comedy clubs and that skill gave me an advantage when I went into corporate speaking. There are a lot of speakers out there who have a meaningful message, but there are very few who are also entertainers. In this economy, we all need to expand what we do. So, if you're having trouble getting stage time, consider adding speaking to your arsenal of skills. No matter where you live, there are boring business meetings going on every day that could use a funny speaker as a “wake-up them up” opening keynoter, or a “leave them laughing” closing speaker.

When I first went into corporate speaking, I got free gigs by calling local hospitals and volunteering to speak. I spoke to nursing associations, cancer wards, and even to hospital accountants. My first speech was basically my stand-up act, minus swear words, which meant that it was very, very short. Looking back, I wasn't very good, but as I learned certain basics, such as having a snapping title, ending with a “heart story,” and never, ever poking fun of the guy that signs the checks, I started booking more paying gigs.

I've now been speaking for ten years and this profession has taken me from speaking with President Clinton in Toronto to being the keynote speaker for DHL in Hong Kong. I want to share what I've learned, and for the first time, I'm going to pick a few people to mentor them through the process of finding their message and creating their speech. If you're finding that you want to not only make people laugh, but inspire them with your message, this might be right for you.

Additional information here.

Standup Career Advice: Getting out of the open mic/bringer show rut

2009-04-15T15:14:00.000-07:00

You have better chances than Kevin Bacon of getting work. Why? Because Kevin Bacon is only six degrees of separation from people who can hire him and you’re better connected. I bet if you search through your contacts you’ll find that you are only one degree from someone who can get you work.

Nepotism is alive and well in show business. Ask most comics how they got their big break and an agent or managers name is rarely ever mentioned. It’s always, “My cousin hooked me up with his friend who hired me to perform at their corporate meeting.” Or, “My sister was sleeping with this headliner who let me open for him,” or “I’m Mormon with lots of relatives.” Think about who you know and your next paying gig might be one email away.

Of course, the first step is to get good at your craft. Because, even grandma won’t hire you again if your bi-furcated penis joke was inappropriate for her Hadassah Group.. But hey, it might be a good joke, but the wrong crowd . Save it for your Uncle’s Urology Association meeting. It’s up to you to get your craft to pro level, and once you’re there it’s time to start marketing yourself locally – through relatives, friends, or just someone who owes you a favor.

One of my Comedyworkshop.com students was a Banana Republic greeter. Her job consisted of saying “Hi, welcome to Banana Republic!” In our stand-up workshop she turned her boring job into a killer act and invited her boss to her showcase at the Hollywood Improv. Cut to: paying gigs at the regional and national Banana Republic meetings.

Then there was former student Ann Lippert who had great material about shopping at Home Depot. I said “Email them a link to your set on YouTube.” Cut to: making a cool $1,500 for a 20 minute set at a Home Depot Christmas party.

Another student looked at the calendar of upcoming events at her church and asked to do a 10-minute set at the Church’s singles mixer. Not a paying gig, but she did get laid.

Go to comedydemo.com, create your electronic press package (EPK), and start sending it to people who know you.

Get your EPK together at www.standupdemo.com and start marketing yourself to friends and relatives. And if you don’t have enough material – then get your ass in our class. Even if you don’t live in LA, there is a way we can help you live your dream.

Los Angeles - Classes start April 25^th, 29^th, and 30^th. Out of LA – consultations via Skype available at embarrassingly reduced rates.

Email for more info.

How To Get Paying Work In Comedy

2009-03-31T12:42:00.001-07:00

Need paying gigs? Here's how to launch you comedy career. Try this, it works.

In my last stand-up course, I offered that anyone in class could email me their jokes and I would help punch them up. Out of 50 students, only three took me up on my offer. Want to make it in showbiz? You need to take advantage of all opportunities that come your way.

Opportunity is everywhere and don't let it pass your door. When I was 20, I took a class in video production at Pasadena City College and the teacher invited a local NBC News Junior Anchor to come talk to us. His name was Tom Brokaw. Tom invited everyone in the class to come to NBC and he'd show us around. I got there an hour early to avoid the mob of fellow classmates to ensure I had a chance to take him up on his incredible offer. Surprise! I was the only one. I spent two weeks at the station learning the news business - shadowing a different person each day, going up with the traffic guy in the helicopter, going out with the producer and learning about TV production. I made connections that later serviced me in my professional life.

Comics seem to focus energies on getting an agent and a manger, but talk to any working comic and they will tell you the real stories about how they got their break.

I just did an engagement with the Navy where I was the closing keynoter for a leadership conference. How did I get a gig like this? By having an agent? No. Because a year and a half earlier I sat next to the meeting planner on a plane. We kept in touch, and I got the job.

When I was an unemployed comedy-magician, freshly fired from my teaching job at Harvard Boys School, I thought that working Playboy Clubs would be perfect for me. At the time, they were the biggest employer of comics, singers, and jazz musicians. There were not that many young female comedy acts then, and I figured that if the headliner was a singer, a female comedy act wouldn't compete. I looked up who booked Playboy Clubs and called Irvin
Arthur in the 9000 Sunset Bl. Building in Hollywood.

"Mr. Arthur doesn't take meetings with talent without representation."
"But I know I'd be perfect!"
"Sorry."

I went in anyway.

"Hello, I'm Judy and I'd be perfect to work Playboy Clubs."
"Mr. Arthur will not see you."
"I'll wait."

I waited for five hours with my bag of magic props. Mr. Arthur motioned for me to come into his office. I did my tricks for him as he sat at his desk.

"You're good. What are you doing tonight? I'll give you 50 dollars. You have dinner with me tonight and if your act goes over good, we'll talk."

For the next 5 years, I was playing the Playboy circuit. Some years I'd be booked for 43 weeks out of the year. Mr. Arthur left Playboy Clubs and became my manager and I got into TV and did over 100 TV shows making 25 times what I was making as a teacher, and doing what I loved.

Do I sometimes miss opportunities? Of course. Just this last week I had the producer of HBO Comedy Specials over for dinner and I was too nervous to pitch him my show idea. I miss that young 20 year old who had the innocence (and, perhaps cleavage) to do shameless self promotion.

So remember, right now you are probably only one degree from someone who can get you a job. First get good at what you do. Just don't forget to say "yes" to the opportunity that is all around you.

Comedy Rant Contest Winner

2009-03-31T11:23:00.000-07:00

In Judy's latest Comedy Contest, she asked:

Is there something that is genuinely pissing you off that you'd like to turn into comedy? Not something hacky like "the guy that picks his nose in the car" or "men that leave the toilet seat up." Something that drives you crazy, causes you stress, and begs you to say "Make it a double!" at the bar. The most interesting, creative, downright angry entry will receive one free 30-minute phone consultation with Judy, where she will help you transform your premise into a working comedy piece.

And the winner is: JAMES HAMILTON, from Houston, TX. Here is his winning entry:

E-mails. E-mails that are from "We should love everyone" groups that are built around the word "except..."

For example,

"Dear Friends"

(Why is it that when I get an e-mail that starts "Dear Friends" that I KNOW it's going to piss me off?? Which word triggers that: "dear" or "friend"? I almost always want to stop reading immediately after "Dear Friends". I want something specifically targeted to ME instead of a blanketed group. I think I would prefer, "Hey asshole"). But, I regress.

"Dear Friends, we at the Society for Humanity Improvement and Tranquility, want to bring to your attention a DIRE matter.

(Oh yeah, every single one of these e-mails is URGENT, DIRE, CRITICAL, VITAL, and really, really important. These people aren't planning ahead, EVER. They live in the "Oh Crap" mode. Sometimes referred to as the Com-mode).

"That's right, its a DIRE matter and only YOU can help."

(Really? ME? Is there actually even ONE urgent, dire, or critical crisis in the world waiting for ME to solve it? How the hell did THAT happen?? And where is the rest of humanity when the world is relying on an Irish comedian to solve their problems!! Oh sure, "We're low on Guiness" is on the list that catches my attention and even creates some cooperation between gray matter and neural responses, but folks, to be honest with you, that LIST is a wee bit small! Just me? Where exactly do I rank?? Have they tried EVERYONE else? If I were to pick up the phone, right now, and call Joe Smith in Sheboygin, Wisconsin and pose the question, "So, Joe, have you heard from the Society for Humanity Improvement and Tranquility lately? Really? Not even a postcard? The bastards! Has your answering machine been on? Yes, I see. No, no it's not all that important....just some urgent, dire, critical crap that they wanted me to take a look into. You know, end of the world kinda stuff. No worries, mate. Alright then, gotta run. Have a nice day.")

"Join our e-mail list / petition / torch-carrying e-mail forwarding mob of mindless Twitter friends and...."

(Wait just one second. These "Dear Friends" of mine want me to forward their mindless trivial undocumented, non-biased, unresearched, rantings of crap to all of MY friends in my addresss book so that I'll be perceived as some kind of nut?? They want ME to hit forward instead of delete so that children in Asia will get a daily allowance of Tuna on rye and that latex-bound dominatrix in Wisconsin who's beating the nonsense out of Joe...as we speak...stops for a breather in order to save all of Humanity??? Well, my friends...count me in!! S.H.I.T. indeed.)

Yup, Judy. That's what REALLY pisses me off.

Love your newsletters!!!!

James Hamilton

On Wed., April 1st at 7pm, James will receive a free 30 minute consultation with Judy to take this premise to the next level. And you are invited to join!

Call the following number to dial into Judy's conference call:

When: April 1 at 7pm PDT
Dial: (712) 432-0950
Enter Access Code - 840479#

Talk to you Wednesday!

Calculating Your Comedy Batting Average by Cary Odes

2009-03-24T11:39:00.000-07:00

Ever come off stage and want to put a bullet in your head and then listen to your tape to find you didn't do so bad? Every standup is a little crazy. That means we might be addicted to attention, or approval, or adrenaline. Look at us: we want the audience to prove they love us every 15 seconds. Do you really want to take that weakness and hook it up to the gale force winds of daily exposure to open mic audiences? Here's a way to get a more accurate view of how you are doing, not based on gig to gig emotions and negativity.

Take a long term approach. Set a timeline, like 3 months, and see how you’re performances are improving over that period. You can look at shows in 10 show increments along the way. That way, a horrible night at The Chuckle Hut is instantly averaged into the two nights that you killed at Gigglers’. Instead of jagged ups and downs, you’re now looking at a smoother slope.

By the way, everyone has shows that go terribly wrong. Don’t think feeling miserable after a bad show makes you more of an artist. An audience that hates you is not more accurate and insightful than one who loves you.

I always go back to the tape. Usually I find I never did as badly as I thought. I also sometimes find the cause of a problem, such as talking too fast, or leaving out a key word. While listening to the tape, I rate each joke by how much laughter or applause each bit got. That way I can see on my worksheet how my shows are progressing. If you make a system out of marking your progress, it makes it less emotionally draining, and just something you’re checking up on. That way you can free up your energy for writing and perfecting your material, and perhaps, having a good time.

Cary Odes is a headlining comic who has appeared on countless TV shows and is the comedy coach for Comedy Workshop classes starting in April.

Showcase Wrap-Up by Jamie Flam

2009-03-17T13:13:00.000-07:00

The showcase at The Improv on Sunday was nothing less than a smashing success! Two packed houses to come see this sessions students perform, most of them for the first time ever. It's amazing to see how far everyone has come in just 8 short weeks, and how much confidence they have when it's over.

I've been performing stand-up off and on myself the past 3 years, from open mics to small showcases, and I gotta say that it was nothing compared to going up in front of a packed house at The Improv. Ironic how doing my act, about being a depressed 32 year old with no direction, gave me the biggest confidence boost in a long time. I only wish that Hilary Duff and her entourage who were at the 6pm showcase (I was in the 8pm show) had stuck around. Because if anyone can relate to the woes of an almost-middle age man, it is most certainly Hilary Duff, her mom, and her band of 22 year old pals.

Another highlight of the night: Stand-up headliner Jim Norton popped in to get some stage time before his Tonight Show appearance on Monday, and so delighted the audience for about 8 minutes in the midst of the showcase. It was a hilarious and harsh reminder that we all have a long way to go as comedians, but a treat nonetheless.

Perhaps the biggest story of the night was watching two of Judy's international students in action. Jo De Rijck and Anne Kraft came to Los Angeles from Belgium and Germany after consulting with Judy for several weeks as part of her "Out-of-Towner" Package. Both of them went up, and both of them killed.

Check out some snapshots of the group in action before and after the show.

Of course a big thank you to Reeta and the crew at The Improv, teacher and emcee extraordinaire Cary Odes, Judy Carter, and to all the students and up and coming stand-ups who made the show so great.

And of course if you are interested, we have new classes starting up again at the end of April.

We hope to see you in class next month!

Yours Truly,
Jamie (Workshop Coordinator)

Showcase at Hollywood Improv This Sunday!

2009-03-13T17:49:00.000-07:00

This Sunday at 6pm and 8pm, come check out Judy's current stand-up students at The Hollywood Improv! For 8 weeks they have been preparing their sets, and this is their big opportunity to stut their stuff.

Of note are two international students, Jo De Rijck and Anne Kraft, from Belgium and Germany respectively, who participated in Judy's Out-of-Towner package. They worked with Judy via Skype and flew in this week to work with Judy and class teacher Cary Odes to further hone their acts and prepare for their big comedy debuts.

Click for more information on the show and tickets!

The line-ups:

Line Up for 6pm Show:
Alika
Anne Kraft
Ashley Bank
Brian Mason
Brie Johnson
DR Ceballos
Emma Field-Rayner
Eric Berndt
Eric Nepomnaschy
Erica Lee
Hilary Lambert
James Rodriguez
Joe Cook
Jo De Rijck
Katie Reese
Kevan Peterson
Kevin Broberg
Nadia Wit
Paul Blomeyer
Jimmy Dinh
Jamie Flam
Steve Shaheen
Steven Baker
Steven Ford
Tom Spath
Will Lundberg

Line Up for 8pm Show:
Assad Motavasseli
Angela Capp
Bev Feldman
Brooklyn Dicent
Dan Wood
David Tieck
Dwayne Foster
Heather Biddle
Jason McClees
Jamie Flam
Joshua Chesler
Julie Evans
Kathy Taylor
Linda Carter
Mariann Aalda
Michael Strauss
Ross Malorzo
Ruthie Glynn
Tara Igoe
Tessa Pechal
Todd Rulapaugh
Walt Grassl

See you there!

Ben & Jerry's Comedy Contest Winner

2009-03-04T12:14:00.000-08:00

Congratulations to the winner of our Ben & Jerry’s Comedy Contest!

We received hundreds of entries to the following question:

Ben & Jerry created "Yes Pecan!" ice cream flavor to honor Obama. They then asked people to fill in the blank to the following statement:

For George W. they created "_________"

And the winner is…

David Lee with “Vanillafied Chocolification”

Congratulations David, you’ve won a free Comedy Career in a Box! The package contains three interactive DVDs with six hours of step-by-step comedy instruction by Judy, a Workout CD-ROM with the same exercises used in her world famous comedy workshops and industry trade secrets from 18 of Hollywood's top managers, agents, casting directors, bookers and producers!

For those of you who didn’t win, you can still get the Comedy Career in a Box at a significantly reduced price! Through Friday, March 20th it is only $129 (regularly priced at $225).

Here are some of our other favorites:

“An ice cream flavor for Bush? Nougat to be kidding!” from Angela Eren

“Just Plain Nuts!” from Scott Wood AND Janice Lowe

“Jamoca® me broke” from Shelly Ginsburg

“O’Henry bin hidden’’ from Eva Pettinato

“Osama Vanil-laden” from Cheryl Lynn Eera

“Gorge Mush” from Corey Cohn

“I can't believe it's not horse shit" from Jonathon Champion

“Cocaine and Cream” from Beni Ficahaz

“Axis of Caramel” from Judah Rosenstein

“What, me yummy?” from John Bovina

"Chocolate City Hurricane" (the white chips are on top and you have to dig through the mud to get to the dark chocolate pieces) from Tom Pahutski

“Buncha 'Hunches' Crunches” from Ricky Anderson II

“Yes I Can Speak English Toffee” from Micheline B

and finally….

“It's your Money, You Paid for It, Nutberry Chocolate Fudge Rubbles Walnutificate Teakberry Turrorist We Thinkify, Therefore I Cashew Chocolate Human Being and Coexisting Cherry Fish Foreign-Handed Foreign Policy Pineapple Peanut Subliminable Strawberry Strategery A pint 'o Peacekeepers and Pacemakers Hold-the-Nation Hostile Hazlenut Brainificated Banana More Few Maplenut Food-on-your-Family Fudge Strawberry Subsidation Strawberry Shaked Hands Greecian Caramel Nougat World's Biggest Polluter Peach I am America, and so Cashew” from Carla Rene

Thanks to everyone who submitted entries! We had a lot of other hilarious submissions, and thank you for your time and support.

Comic Exercise: Google It!

2009-02-13T13:59:00.000-08:00

Exercise to generate comedy material Stuck writing new material? Keep rehashing the same old stuff? Is your material dying on stage?

We comics get so wrapped up in ourselves that we come to a creative dead-end. That’s why I suggest getting out of yourself and Googling your topics to see what other people have to say about it. This is not to steal jokes, but rather to have something to react off of rather than rehashing all the junk in your brain. For instance, if your topic is “Being a woman over 50 in L.A.”: Google it! No Internet, grab a paper! Wednesday’s USA Today Life Section was loaded with set-ups. All you have to do is to come up with the funny part. Try it!

Here are some quotes from Wednesday’s issue of USA Today that you can use for setups and just add your own funny part.

1. Chris Brown's "Body by Milk" ad was pulled due to him being booked on a felony charge.

Your retort: “ ________________________________________________________”

2. A book entitled, "Why we make mistakes" suggests picking computer passwords that aren't clever so you will be able to remember them.

Your retort – “That’s why I ______________________________________________”

3. Tony Robbins gets his own show on NBC who will guide participants through challenges and obstacles and help them to make decisions to better their life.

Your retort – “If I went on this show _______________________________________”

4. A new book out "Why Him? Why Her?" says that certain personality types are more attracted to others because of the balance of chemicals in the brain.

Your retort – “Well that must mean that I ___________________________________”

5. Author of “The Secret Psychology of How We Fall in Love” says, “Sexual attraction is completely instinctual, not based in logic."

Your retort – “Well that explains why_______________________________________”

Trust me, I don't consider USA Today to be the literary giant of journalism, as it seems to pick its’ articles not based on intellectual merit, but rather on what every day people want to hear - mostly gossip. But, this makes it a perfect source for comics looking for material that would entertain a mass audience. Of course, it's always about your personal "hit" on topics that sells a joke, but starting with a topic that is general enough to be in USA Today, will at least guarantee that 90% of your audience will know what you are talking about rather than, "What's up with Kenyan dictator Daniel Moi!!" You might be fixated on CNN, but most audiences don't go, "I'm going to a comedy club, I better study up on CNN before I go."

Writing Comedy Exercise - It's all in the details

2009-01-26T20:36:00.000-08:00

Here is a simple exercise to write comedy material -

Write a quick list of what happens in your day. For example:

Woke up at 6am
Got out of bed at 7am
Had breakfast
Read the paper
Met with the contractor and met with the stucco guy

Now, go back over your list of what you did and add details and opinions:

Woke up at 6 am because the cat was chilly and needed to cuddle in the covers under the night and couldn't go back to sleep as the cat had to furiously clean herself. When my spouse coughs or keeps tossing, I yell, "Stop it!" But whatever the cat wants... the cat gets.

Got out of bed at 7am with my new alarm clock that vibrates. Why is everything so much of a choice? Now it's, "Do you want your clock to wake you with a ring, buzz, AM, FM, or even IPOD music. Why is everything so many choices? I'm still having trouble with paper or plastic.

Ate breakfast. I had a three point Weight Watcher breakfast. I’m saving up points because tonight I am going to Cheesecake Factory. I mistrust my point manual, because I know Weight Watchers is owned by Heinz --- and they say that ketchup has zero points. I just know that it has points. It's just not right.

Read the paper, and Obama is doing a great job, which is terrible for us comics. I voted for him. But man, he's not giving me material like Bush did. It's not ideal for comics to have a president who can actually speak in complete sentences.

Met with my contractor and met with the stucco guy. When remodeling a house, I'm surrounded by men whose name I only know from what their job is: Roofing man, Stucco Man, Mirror guy. What if in life everyone had names by what they did for you?

"This is my husband: 'Emotionally unavailable man’…" Last week I was with "Drinking man" and then I went home with "I swear this never happens to me man."

Comedy is all in the details.

Judy Carter

http://www.comedyworkshops.com

Helping funny people achieve their dreams

2008-12-22T16:40:00.000-08:00

Have Yourself A Jewish Little Christmas

By Judy Carter

judy@comedyworkshops.com

There was never an official diagnosis, but I knew my seasonal, winter depression was a case of serious holiday
envy caused by being Jewish at Christmas. For me there would be no outings to the mall to shop for presents, no family gathered around the piano singing “Silent Night,” no popcorn-decorated tree in the living room. Oh sure, we had Chanukah. It’s billed as “the festival of light” but it’s really Christmas-light. “Dreidel” isn’t even in MS spellcheck. You won’t find a latkeh with Judah Maccabee’s face on E-bay.

My family tried to put on a festive face. We’d stick a tarnished menorah in the window, our way of saying “us too” in the neighborhood’s winter wonderland of sleighs, reindeers and elves, each house giving off more light than a shuttle launch. We had those blue and white streamers attached to banisters and we spun plastic dreidels, but what I was lusting for was Santa, the first unavailable man in my life. I yearned to sit in his oversized lap and whisper what I wanted. Unlike my mother, he wouldn’t have scoffed, “You don’t need a training bra!” He would have, I knew, found me adorable and “ho ho ho’ed” at my jokes, making sure I got not only the training bra, but a cocker spaniel puppy as a bonus.

If I was caught moping, I’d be reminded, “We have our own holiday.” Uncle Norman never tired of telling us about the victory of the Jews over the Hellenistic Syrians in the battle of the Maccabees – hardly your warm-hearted, Hallmark moment. Christmas and Chanukah are apples and oranges. The story of Jesus born in a manger to a virgin is a guaranteed ratings win over a forgotten tribe, even with the long-lasting oil miracle thrown in as a B-story. If there’s a miracle, it’s that anyone converts to Judaism when it means giving up chocolate Easter bunnies and eating bitter herbs! Christian holidays have been “Disneyfied,” escalating in proportion and visibility. Christmas has the longest shelf life of any holiday, which is why my holiday depression extended to spring, when the last of the Christmas decorations would finally wilt from the heat.

You’d think eight days of gift giving might make up for something, but not when your family is “practical”. They didn’t want to “spoil” us. On the first day of Chanukah, I’d get one glove. On the second day, I’d get the other one. And we lived in LA, where nobody wore gloves. By day three we were out of brisket and the fun of trying to shove candles into slots filled with last year’s wax had worn off. I wanted to be part of the ritual of holiday shopping, but the only presents I needed were for were the newspaper delivery guy and my hairdresser, people whose last names I didn’t know. Everyone would be saying, “Merry Christmas” and I, who thought of myself as quick-witted, would be stumped for a response. This was no piece of honey cake.

Never mind how many scientific theories or vaccines our people have come up with, in December, we’re not a main event. Try looking for Chanukah wrapping paper in the Rite-Aid in North Dakota. Even in Manhattan, where Hispanics speak fluent Yiddish, a supermarket had put out matzo for Chanukah. And don’t think I was the only Christmas wannabe; Jewish superstar Barbra Streisand made a Christmas album. That’s right, our Yentl! You don’t get Eminen singing “Chillin’ in the Gefillen.”

I’m not sure when things were recast for me, maybe when I heard “Put on your yalmuka. Here comes Chanukah”. As unlikely a guru as Adam Sandler got me out of my funk, getting me to see there is, in fact, a bright side to celebrating the holiday of lights. I had time off and didn’t have to go to church. Christmas Eve I’d gotten into a first-run movie without dialing Fandango. Their holidays get more press, but that’s all they get; we get theirs and ours. And if we want to take a day off, we can make up a holiday. “I can’t come in tomorrow because it’s the first day of “Cha…anything”. I started counting the perks.

Here are ten reasons why at Christmas we should be happy we’re Jewish:

We’ll never end up in an emergency room because we fell off a roof putting up reindeer.
We’re not traveling during black-out periods to see family.
Because of the quirky timing of Chanukah, we can actually use frequent flyer miles.
There’s none of that lying to our kids about Santa Claus or pretending the toys are made by elves, not by children in China.
We’re not pressured to be happy, which is why it’s not such a Jewish thing to commit suicide during Christmas.
Nobody will ever knit us a red wool sweater with reindeer on it.
We don’t have to climb a ladder and hang tinsel on a tree with most of it ending up clinging to our clothes.
We’re not spending most of January standing on long lines, without receipts yet, to return a fondue set.
We can send cards that mean something. A New Years or Passover card won’t get lost in a huge stack of Christmas cards.
And if this were the only perk, it would be enough. We get jelly doughnuts for dessert, not a Christmas fruitcake with dried maraschino cherries on top.

Judy's gig in Hong Kong

2008-12-12T22:38:00.000-08:00

My 20 minute gig in Hong Kong

I’d like to thank my friends for all their helpful suggestions in preparing for my engagement in Hong Kong:

Steve North: “Judy, try this joke: ‘3 Chinese guys walk into a bar … but they all died from lead-poisoning in the paint!’ This will work great, trust me.”

Jeff Stepakoff: “Bird flu. That’ll be funny!”

Phyllis Katz: “How about this: ‘Say, what's up with your athletes? I hear your athletes are recruited when they're children -- often against their will -- and taken from their families. Boy, I wish they'd done that to me when I was growing up! Not that my family life was bad. It was great. But I think being in China would have been funnier. Am I right? Where are you from? China? Oh, right.”

OK, no help from friends.

How could I take my humor -- which has so many American references -- and translate it to be funny for the Asian Corporate culture?

For my first 20 years of my comedy career, I was about shaking it up and making waves. TV jobs were hard; matter of fact, any gig where I couldn’t mention my clitoris I considered repressive.

Then, after all that time of freely expressing myself, I got bored and took on the challenge of corporate comedy, where I had to be extremely clean.

Why?

The people I usually perform for in the corporate market are often hard working, underpaid people who don’t have the time or money to go to a comedy club. After my performance, many admit that they realized that they haven’t laughed for a long time. It’s my own little way to infiltrate the corporate world and shake things up.

But this gig was a real challenge; when I sent the client an advance outline of my act, 80% of my material got this reaction:

“Pls do not do.”

To get a better understanding of the local mindset, I spent the next few days walking around Hong Kong, where it’s hard to see where one mall ends and another begins. It’s like walking through a video shopping game. I wanted to get away to the country, so then I went up to Victoria Peak. I’d heard it was beautiful view, but sure enough, when you get to the top of the mountain – more shopping!

I went into computer alley where there were hundreds of technology stores. That’s when I got what I’d joke about: shopping, acronyms, and mostly – technology.

“You have no love life because you like things small and fast -- and your wife doesn't.”

The gig

The event was amazing. Men in black tie and women in elegant Asian dresses and embroidered Saris. I went out during the cocktail hour and spoke to one person who caught my eye, and, of course, it was the one Jewish person there.

This always happens. I could be in a Koran study group and the person next to me would be Jewish. There’s some sort of Jewish tribal magnetism that I carry with me.

Anyway, it made me relax, as I knew there would be at least one person there who got me.

The next thing that made me relax was the emcee, who was a lovely CNN commentator. She made many jokes about the economy. I guess she didn’t get the note: “Pls do not do.”

Since people in Hong Kong seem to love technology, I gave them the Top 10 signs that technology is stressing you out:

- When you talk without your blackberry, your thumbs still move.

- You stay in a bad relationship -- because you can’t handle any new upgrades.

- You’re up at 3am to go to the bathroom and you check your email on the way back to bed

- etc.

I ended up going to my roots and weaved magic tricks into my talk.

“Don’t you just want to rip bad news away from you? But it keeps coming back.” I ripped up a paper (soon to be restored) and told more jokes about how stressed they are.

“You get stressful voicemails: ‘You’re not doing enough, you’re not bringing in enough money…’ -- and that’s from your wife.”

Bada boom bada bing! I could almost hear the rim shots. But they laughed and related.

I even pulled out my old floating celery trick. This did not go so well. Someone said to me, “I don’t understand the meaning of the floating celery.” (Oy!)

But overall, I think the gig went great from the reaction I got, and the very complimentary emails from the client.

Things got even better after the gig. In the elevator, I met a young man who was there participating at the Clinton Global Conference (which was also meeting at the hotel).

He’s doing a “Green” project in Beijing, and he hooked me up with his friend who runs comedy shows for expatriates in Beijing -- which just happens to be the next stop on my tour.

Comedy Workshops goes International!

To view the rest of Judy's trip with her friend Mimi go to http://judymimi.blogspot.com/2008/12/beijing-day-one-mr.html

Corporate Comedy in Hong Kong

2008-12-11T00:33:00.000-08:00

Corporate Comedy - Judy goes to Hong Kong for a 20 minute set

I'm flying 16 hours to Hong Kong to do a 20 minute set. Flying first class, my own bed, going to be picked up by a limo and taken to a 5 star hotel. Welcome to the world of corporate comedy! Sounds chushy, huh? Easy? Read on.

I have learned that what is funny in America can be not so funny, and actually insulting in China.

Trouble started when the client asked for an outline of my speech and crossed off 80% of it with notes: "Please do not do." The topics forbidden in include:

marriages
the economy
stocks
dogs
"rap" song and dance
any bad news
problems
employees
the workplace
politics

Not so easy to have a comedy act vetted by corporate lawyers. They asked that I don't mention "problems" or "employees" which is difficult because my talk is "Workplace Humor: Turning problems into punch lines." They asked me if I would talk about how beautiful Hong Kong is. I'm not sure how that is funny, as funny comes from the "bad" stuff in life - as many comics start off their set with bad news such as: "I just broke up with someone." This is the challenge of being a corporate comic: delivering my message without compromising myself, while pleasing the client who is paying lots of money. And basic rule of corporate comedy: Never make fun of the person signing your check.

The first step is understanding the Chinese culture which I have started on the plane by testing my jokes out on the Cathey Pacific stewardess. I asked her to listen to one of my points which is: "Take your job seriously, but not yourself - make fun of yourself." According to my Chinese stewardess, "Oh no! That is very no-no. We do not talk about or make fun of our shame. Oh no!" Now forget about my jokes, even the basic premise of my speech is in poor taste.

The client also asked me to include "Jackie Chan\n"" and I wrote this joke: "Chinese people seem to like our new president Obama, but I don't they a lot of people know who he is: "I love Obama! He was so funny with Jackie Chan is 'Rush Hour'"

Note I got from the client: "Pls do not do." No politics.

I thought I would then add some magic tricks. Very visual and everyone can appreciate. I wrote to the client: "I will levitate celery and eat it midair showing how looking at things differently creates magic." Note from client "Pls do not do."

How about a custom rap song about the stress in business life? "Pls do not do."

I've been trying to make the stewardess laugh and I think I might have, but I'm not sure as when Chinese people laugh, they cover their mouth. I asked her, "Why are you covering your mouth?" She told me, "Laughing at someone is consider rude."

I'm in big trouble. I have 3 days in Hong Kong before my gig. Stay tuned.

Sarah Palin’s Comedy Set at the RNC

2008-09-09T15:53:00.000-07:00

Sarah Palin’s Comedy Set at the RNC

How VP Nominee Became a Candidate for the Improv

By Judy Carter

comedy coach and author of "The Comedy Bible"

I may not agree with her politics, but Sarah Palin made me laugh. Whether you are Democrat, Republican or listing with Lieberman, all comics and speakers can learn from the comedy techniques used in Palin’s zingy speech at the Republican National Convention.

Palin used the Jay Leno strategy–keep them laughing–and got more laughs than a Vegas headliner. As a comedy coach and the author of “The Comedy Bible,” it's worthwhile evaluating the way that the Republican nominee for VP avoided becoming a joke by telling jokes.

It shows the power of turning problems into punch lines.

It’s hard to question policy when you are laughing away your skepticism. "Read My Lipstick" packs a hell of a lot more punch than former Presidential candidate John Kerry's “27-Point Plan."

In my books and comedy classes, I talk about comedy techniques that can help anyone be funny. Let’s take a look at some of the techniques that speechwriter Matthew Scully used to make Palin look like a candidate for the Improv.

The Joke: "What's the difference between a hockey mom and a pit bull?

Punchline: “Lipstick."

Comedy Technique: Make fun of yourself first. Although this is a recycled joke about

PMS-ing female lawyers, Palin gets the audience on her side with self-mockery.

The Joke: “I guess a small-town mayor is sort of like a ‘community organizer,’ ” Palin said, referring to Obama’s time working with poor residents in Chicago.

Punchline: “Except that you have actual responsibilities.” (Ouch!)

Comedy Technique: Dis'in' the enemy. Know your audience, because those killer jokes that you have about “wacky” animal rights activists will bomb at a PETA rally no matter how funny they are. When doing a corporate gig, I find out who or what everyone hates. Whether it’s the cafeteria food or a former a CEO, in taking a swing at them, I get an instant connection to the crowd.

The Joke: “And since our opponents in this presidential election seem to look down on that experience,” said Palin, referring to her sparse credentials, “let me explain to them what the job involves.”

Comedy Technique: “Callbacks.” A callback is when you refer to something in the past that someone else said. Here, Palin refers to her response when asked if she was going to be considered for VP: “I’m waiting for someone to tell me what that job involves.”

Lesson: Caught saying something stupid, say it again. Own it and get the last laugh. Ronald Reagan was a master of the sarcastic callback. He was often caught snoozing during meetings. When asked what was discussed after an important meeting with Russia, he replied, “How should I know? I was asleep.” Little did we know that he really was asleep.

The Joke: "That luxury jet was over-the-top. I put it on eBay."

Comedy Technique: Large item to small item with a pop reference. Want to get laughs and look hip? Replace those wheezy jokes about the Fonz and Monica Lewinsky with references to popular Internet sites, TV shows or current celebrities.

The Joke: “When the roar of the crowd fades away … when the stadium lights go out, and those Styrofoam Greek columns are hauled back to some studio lot...."

Comedy Technique: List of three. This is where the first two items set up a pattern and the third one is unexpected. In this case: Big, big, small. For instance: “We live in a scary world--War, terrorism, Tori Spelling returning to TV….”

Whether you are a standup comic in front of a night club audience, a CPA presenting your new budget to the board, or a hockey mom running for vice president of the United States, getting laughs connects you to your audience and helps you to dodge criticism.

I can't wait to hear the comedy spin in the National Enquirer article about Palin's alleged extramarital affair:

“Hey, what's the difference between a hockey mom and Heidi Fleiss?

“Heidi is not from Alaska.”

Bada bing, bada boom!

Corporate Gigs in Menomonie. WI

2007-04-09T13:50:00.000-07:00

Next gig is for a liquor company in Menomonie, Wisconsin.

The hard part about this gig besides pronouncing the name of the city, is that they served alcohol AFTER I went on. And I know for the last 30 minutes of my hour ½ set, the audience is thinking, “Only a few more minutes to the real fun – cocktails!” I could have been Jon Stewart and no matter how funny I was people would still be counting down until they could drink.

But I learn a lot in the short time that I was in Menomonie. First of all… Did you know that embryos ARE babies?

Yes, this was a real billboard on Main Street. If embryos are babies, try taking your embryo to a playground and finding someone to call it “cute.”

Oddly enough the billboard was across the street from “Wonder Lube.”

Coincidence or is it?

But I learned a lot in my short time in Wisconsin. Mostly about beer. Here’s a neat trick. Ever order a beer that’s dark and bitter? Mix in some crème soda – delicious! But after a few too many of these you might be creating some embryos.

Coporate Comedy Rocks, Part Two

2007-04-05T16:49:00.000-07:00

I finished up the closing keynote on the insurance cruise gig. Sometimes I feel unqualified giving advice. Especially becaaise Aron, the other speaker, was stuck behind a boulder and had to cut off his arm. The only thing I've been stuck in was traffic and the only thing I cut off was the Audi in the next lane.

Sometimes insecurity drives me to do a better job so I customized my show with insurance material. Not that I know a lot about it, but I had all week scuba diving, snorkeling and mostly drinking with these people to learn about things like PAC forms, needs analysis, and annuities. Fascinating stuff! I came up with the top 10 ways you know you're a insurance workaholic.

Check out the top ten list here

The gig was scary as the night before the attendies were partying until the wee hours, and I was scheduled to go on the next morning at 8am. It's hard on a comic - as I usually perform for people who are drunk, not hung over.

Comedy in daylight, on a rocking ship in a storm is a challenge. But I opened with joking about just that and got them.

Then I flew to Vancouver for a gig with the Pacific Dental Conference. This is the largest dental conference in North America! The vendors' exhibit hall was enormous, and I could get free samples of dental dams. Oh, the perks on this job!

I did a "get out of stress with humor" 2 ½ hour training 2 years ago and they hired me back. Coming up with different 2 ½ hours would be impossible as I didn't have enough time or pot. So I teamed with actor Tim Bagley.

I'm sure you've seen Tim on TV, at the Groundlings, in his one-person show or at the Un-cabaret. Listen to him – he is hysterical. Click here for a link to his IMDB page. Talk about a 'working actor!'

Tim and I put together Improv exercises and snappy dialogue and performed a different 2 ½ hour session for two days. I've never worked in a team before and what fun. Tim made me laugh so hard I couldn't speak. In the audience were scouts for the Texas Dental Conference, so it looks like this might spin into more dental work and I'm not talking about crowns and bridges.

Here is our top-ten list for "Dental Stress."

One of the best parts of doing corporate gigs is that I get to visit friends from all over the world. We all got together for dinner.

Right after the gig, we all got into a rental car and headed to Whistler for skiing. I figured I needed a ski vacation after my cruise vacation.

Whistler was a bust though because it was raining and the snow was so heavy and thick. At one point, I somehow wandered off the trail and found myself waist deep in the heavy stuff. No one was around. I couldn't see my board. I couldn't move. It started to rain on me. I started crying. I was so stuck.

But then I thought of Aron stuck behind the boulder, and dug myself out, slid down a cliff on my ass holding my board and headed right into a bar. Who says motivational speakers don't save lives?

On to Wisconsin….more to come.

Corporate Comedy Rocks

2007-03-04T14:20:00.000-08:00

I used to regret getting out of doing standup in clubs, but I would have left that scene earlier if I knew about corporate comedy. Let me tell you about this incredible gig.

Corporate Comedy Rocks!

I would say I’m on the road, but I’m really on the ocean...

I have a gig for an insurance company. It’s a week on a fancy cruise ship going to Mexico, Costa Maya, Roatan Island (Honduras), Cozmel and Key West. The company has chartered the entire ship for its sales people. After boating the ship, I arrived in my suite to find a bottle of champagne.

The suite is complete with a bedroom, eating area, bathroom with bath and shower and a balcony with a sea view.

After a brief lifeboat drill we sailed off.

I will spend six days cruising and being a part of this party and then do a one-hour speech on the closing day. Also booked on the cruise is Aron Ralston. You might have seen him on Dateline. While hiking, a boulder slipped, landed on him and trapped his arm. He was stuck there for six days until, using a pocket knife, he hacked off his arm and hiked to safety. He told the group his inspiring tale of survival. There was not a dried eye in the house as he told his story of “One foot forward at a time.” The guy is amazing and tells his story in his book, “Between a Rock and a Hard Place.” Rumor has it – he has a movie coming out. I’m so glad I didn’t have to get my arm stuck underneath a boulder to give a speech. The only thing I’ve been stuck in is LA traffic.

Days on the ship include swimming, drinking, eating, shuffle board, drinking, eating and more drinking and eating. We docked in a little town called Costa Maya.

I went scuba diving with Aron as my buddy. He is amazing with one arm. He only needed help getting off his wet suit, or so he said.

Next stop was Roatan Island which has the 2nd largest coral reef. We did a zip line where you slide on a wire through the forest. You might think – “Wow, this doesn’t seem like Judy’s working that much.” But on the zip line I did think of a joke. I’ll tell you later.

Next was more drinking on the beach and snorkeling.

I might have written another joke, but after my third beer, who remembers? I have until Key West to get my shit together. But wait, room service is knocking on my door bringing some appetizers...

More later!

How Not to Suck as an Emcee

2006-11-13T08:47:00.000-08:00

Once a month, the advanced class has a guest teacher and last night it was Dan Rosenberg, comic and author of “How Not to Suck as an Emcee.” Dan gave us some great tips. After all, if you finally get a booked at a comedy club, it will most likely be the opening spot where you also emcee the show. And as Dan says, “a bad host can kill a show. Even with a great headliner, a shitty emcee can ruin the night as hosting is the foundation of the show.”

Dan will be giving this workshop at the California Comedy Conference.
ONLY 2 MORE WEEKS LEFT TO REGISTER!!!
http://www.comedyworkshops.com/ccc.html

Here were some of his tips.

Get at least three interactions when you open a show. “Are there some people here who want to have fun?” “Anyone ready to laugh?” and so on. I got to see this tip work the next day as I had a gig in Racine, WI. I changed my opening to implement this tip and it worked like gang busters. With corporate gigs, very often I’m coming on to an ice cold group who is in the middle of eating dinner. Or my opening act was an accountant giving a powerpoint on next year’s budget forecast. Exciting. Using Dan’s tip, it took only a few minutes to bring everyone’s attention to the stage and get the energy and laughs flowing.

When emceeing, give comics great intros. And if you are a comic, always write out your intro on an index card. “ALWAYS write out a few credits and write out your name phonetically . Funny intros are great if you don’t have any credits. Never tell the emcee to, ‘Just say anything.’”

Reset the stage for the next comic, i.e., put the mic back in the stand, move the stool, and adjust the mic height for the next comic.

When introducing the next comic, do the “Wait and Shake.” Meaning, wait for them to come up, shake their hand, and THEN leave the stage.

Make sure you end the intro with the comic’s name as the punch line.

If someone bombs, don’t mention it. Show respect for your fellow comics.

Don’t start with blue material. If the show goes blue, then you can join in and “Blue it up.” But some times if the next comic is clean you’ll need to “Blue in down.”

Keep politics to yourself. As the emcee, your job is to be likeable and get the audience going, not alienate them.

Never make fun of the wait staff. They hang with the club bookers and the managers and if they like you, you have a better chance of being asked back.

Ask the club if there are any announcements that they’d like you to make. Makes you sound like a pro and helping them sell drinks and t-shirts is another way to get asked back.

Keep the show rolling. Don’t do a lot of time in-between acts. If someone kills, then don’t slow the show down with material. If a comic tanks, then bring out you killer material to bring the audience back. You’re the host and it’s up to you to make it a great night for the audience as well as the comics.

Dan gave us 25 tips, if you want the rest of them, then get his book, “How not to suck as an emcee.”

Dan Rosenberg will be doing his “How not to suck as an Emcee” workshop at the California Comedy Conference. Details at:
http://www.comedyworkshops.com/ccc.html

Creating Material on Current Events

2006-11-06T11:59:00.000-08:00

I've decided to teach a workshop in writing current event material at the California Comedy Conference. Having jokes about current topics tells the audience that your act is fresh and that you're on top of what's going on.

Here are some tips for creating current event material:

-When doing personal material, try bringing a current topic or person into the "mix." i.e: "My mother hates her neighbors. She's become the Al Qaeda of the condo unit." (Then add act-out.)

-A list of three is a great way to bring current events into your act. "We live in a scary world, terrorists, the war in Iraq… (Then add the funny one which can change as the news changes) i.e: "Our vice-president is shooting people, Britany Spears is a mother…" This list of three structure gives you an easy way to plug up to date material into your act.

-If your current event joke is no longer current – let it go! Current jokes usually only have a shelf life of a few days. Oh, all those great Cheney shooting jokes, gone. ("Oh it WAS an accident. Cheney thought it was a gay cowboy.") It's hard to throw good jokes away, but you're a hack if you're still doing Clinton "cigar" jokes. It's long over – let it go.

-Sometimes you prepare some current events jokes and get to the comedy club and all the comics before you have beaten the topic to death – let your jokes go.

-Watch Leno and see if you jokes are as good as his. If they are, you might want to start submitting jokes to TV and Radio. If you've never submitted jokes before, don't start at the top, but start with your local radio DJ's.

At the California Comedy Conference, you'll learn how to make money by submitting to TV and Radio.

See you at the conference! Info at

http://www.comedyworkshops.com/ccc.html

Judy Carter

How to get a Manager

2006-11-01T16:00:00.000-08:00

Every two months our Advanced Class in LA has VIP night. This is where we invite a VIP, invite the public, get everyone drunk and showcase for them. After the showcase we have a Q and A with the VIP.

Last month, manager Barb North, gave us insider information on what managers are looking for when they watch standup comics. Here's what we learned…

What are some Do's and Don't's of showcasing?
"When putting together a showcase set, put up front material that reflects your 'point of view,' with material that tells the audience who you are. Don't use your funniest line if it doesn't say anything about you. And have jokes that payoff quickly. You shouldn't go more than 15 seconds w/out a payoff. If it's for TV and they ask you to be clean, be clean. If they ask you to go 8 minutes, don't do 15.

What do managers do?
"A manager is there for your whole career. Some are equipped to bring both creative and business insights. A manager will help you get all the different kind of agents you need and work with them to get you opportunity as well as look over deals and advise you. A manager / comic relationship is like a marriage – I have to love a comic – I have to believe in them."

"Managers have different tastes. If a manager rejects you – it may not be because of your talent."

How do I get on Premium Blend?
"They aren't shooting Premium Blend at the moment... they are doing Gotham, but in general, it is harder if you are white male just because there are so many white male comics and so the competition is steeper. They are always looking for women – but some female comics get their shot when they aren't ready yet, which can hurt. The upside is that if it takes you longer to get noticed then you will have more time to get better. A lot of shows say 'Pitch me someone with credits.' Credits beget credits so work wherever and whenever you can until you get established."

[to comic Joseph who is Hispanic] "There is a huge Hispanic market and more and more opportunities all the time."

[to comic Joseph who is Hispanic] "There is a huge Hispanic market and many Latino Laugh Festivals."

"Mad TV and SNL are looking for people who can do characters. If you are a standup and want to get on that show, then it's good to weave characters in and out of your act."

"Start with smaller festivals. Don't go right to the Montreal Festival as your first festival."

[When talking to Kenny, who's act is about being a dad] "Your act is about being a stay at home dad, I would find that easy to market."

"It's important to learn cold reading. If a casting director likes your looks, she might like to have you in for an audition and you will need to know how to make copy come alive."

"Showcase under the radar until you are ready."

Barb also talked about what was on everyone's mind:

How to get a manager:
"There is a magic about it. I like to sign someone I connect with and I think I can sell. A manager needs to see someone several times. If you are out there and performing a lot, you will get seen."

Things that turn a manger off?
Email blasts. I like to get emails on what you are doing, but don't harass a manager. We are people too and need a life. And don't think if we don't sign you right away we are rejecting you. Keep us informed on what you are doing, but don't over do it.

Barb North will be giving a workshop at the California Comedy Conference. Dec 1 – 3. Spots are still available.

www.comedyworkshops.com/ccc.html

Breaking Through Writing Blocks and Getting the Funny OUT!

2006-10-30T14:51:00.000-08:00

This is #1 in an occasional series of tips to keep the creativity going.

Tip #1: Get out of the house!!
When people find out that I make a living from doing comedy, they inevitably say, “Wow that must be so much fun.” Wrong! 95% of my time is spent doing really boring stuff: sending out pr kits; making calls to clients; getting airline tickets; writing checks’, going through 300 emails -- most of them asking if I’m satisfied with my dick size, and of course, kicking a printer that’s stopped working. Doing the gigs is fun. Getting the gigs takes work.

Most creative people have the same problem: When do I get to do the creative stuff? Sometimes I feel that if I do the same material again, I’ll die of boredom. Oh wait… the audience beat me to it. We all need new material, but it’s hard to make the time for it. Even if you have time, so many porn sites…..

WRITING TIP: GET OUT OF THE HOUSE
I find writing very lonely, so I need to work in a public place. If I’m home, I get distracted. So when I need to work on new material, I leave my house and go to my Westside office. I find it very inspiring, as it has large leather couches, ornate gold leaf tables, wireless high-speed Internet, ocean view, and even waitress service. Maybe you’ve seen my Westside office -- The Hotel Del Mar lobby. I bring my lap top, put on my noise canceling headsets and spread out my papers. I always order a Cappuccino and give the waitress a large tip. This way, they have a positive attitude about me setting up camp here. Who says office space on the Westside is expensive? I have an ocean view office for $15/day…I even hold meetings there.

What gets your creative juices flowing might be something different. Know what it takes for you to create and set time aside to do it. I wrote many books, but each one started in some hotel lobby!

At the California Comedy Conference, there are so many workshops designed to get you past your blocks, get the creative flowing, and start making money from being funny!www.comedyworkshops.com/ccc.html