David's Life Coaching Blog

Is Music Good for the Heart?

2009-07-03T12:42:00.010+01:00

The BBC News channel recently featured an article on its website describing the results of a recent study into the effects of music on heart beat and blood pressure.

According to the article, the study suggested that music with a faster tempo increases breathing, heart rate and blood pressure while slower music does the opposite.

This seems consistent with common sense - if you are listening to lively, quick music you are likely to feel more animated and for it to be reflected in physiological changes. If you are listening to slower calmer music one would hope it will help you to calm down.

Soft slow gentle music is often used in relaxation tapes and CDs and I guess here is some scientific evidence to support that use.

Perhaps more intriguingly the study also seems to have gone further and suggested that operatic music, which alternates between fast and slow, could be the best for the heart and circulation.

Verdi's arias it seems sychronise perfectly with natural cardiovascular rhythm!

To read the full article, click on the link below:

Opera is 'Music for the Heart'

Blog Post Written by Life Coach David
For Life Coaching Books and Resources visit: Life Coaching Books

Earning Money as a Life Coach

2009-06-22T15:26:00.008+01:00

Promotional material for life coaching courses may often make it sound as if it is easy to make money from being a life coach.

Is this really the case?

On my website as part of my Becoming a Life Coach Newsletter, I have now published an article considering the realities of making money as a life coach and suggesting some considerations to bear in mind if you are thinking of becoming a life coach.

The article reflects on motivations for becoming a life coach, marketing channels for developing a life coaching business and additional sources of income asides from direct life coaching services for clients or groups.

To read the article, click on the link below:

Can You Make Money being a Life Coach?

Blog Post Written by Life Coach David
For Life Coaching Books and Resources visit: Life Coaching Books

Life Coaching Resources

2009-06-19T12:14:00.009+01:00

People who read my Life Coach Tips newsletter tend to fall into one of two categories:

(1) People seeking to make changes or improvements in their own life.

(2) Those who work as life coaches or in other helping roles, for example in the voluntary sectory or as counsellors and want to develop their coaching practice or find out more about different techniques and ideas that are used in life coaching.

Both in my own personal experience of making life changes and in my work as a coach, I have come firmly to believe in the the importance of having a set of tried and tested techniques or tools that you can use when you want to take steps forward.

With that in mind I have put together a number of coaching eBooks which cover coaching techniques for use in dealing with different issues such as self esteem, life change, assertiveness and jealousy.

Included in these eBooks are some of the techniques which I have found to be most useful, such as cognitive behavioural (CBT) techniques for dealing with problematic or negative thoughts relating to particular issues.

I have designed most of the eBooks so that they can be of use to both individuals and life coaches and they are set out for practical use - if you are just looking for a general discussion of the issues, these are not the books for you, but if you are looking for practical programmes, life coaching exercises or techniques to try out with clear instructions and specific ideas, then they may well be right for you.

One recent product I have designed is a Life Coaching Resources Pack which bundles together at a reduced price four ebooks on different topics - Changing Your Life, Low Self Esteem, How to Be Assertive and Life Coaching Exercises.

If you are interested in acquiring some life coaching techniques and tools to help you move forward in your own life or to help your work as a coach with clients in life coaching sessions, you can find out more about the Life Coaching Resources Pack at the link below:

Life Coaching Resources

(Note for visitors to this blog from the USA: If you are reading this from the United States and would prefer to see pricing in US dollars rather than pounds sterling, the product is alternatively offered in US dollars at Life Coaching Resources Pack - USA Version)

Blog Post Written by Life Coach David
For Information about David's Telephone Coaching visit: Life Coaching

Panic and Anxiety Programs Review

2009-06-04T10:28:00.011+01:00

A large number of people experience panic attacks or severe anxiety at some point in their life. However sufferers often seek to hide their experiences from others because of shame or not wanting to appear inadequate or incompetent (this applies particularly to people who experience feelings of panic when making presentations in a job setting).

Quite often, hiding your anxiety can actually make it worse - because it increases your fear of other people finding out. Actually what can help with anxiety is to try to accept what is happening almost as if you were observing yourself from outside like a scientist, because this decreases the fear and the 'fight or flight' response which is fuelling your panic and anxiety and which gets worse if you try to fight the anxiety.

This is easier said than done - and if you experience panic attacks you may think I'm crazy in suggesting it! To help you start to come to terms with your anxiety and therefore reduce the level of panic, there are specific techniques which you can use such as distraction and breathing or relaxation techniques.

There are a number of panic or anxiety non medical treatment programs or methods which cover some of these different techniques and can be helpful in addressing them. Here is a short review of the two online panic and anxiety attack programs that I would most recommend, namely:

1. Jon Mercer's Easy Calm downloadable videos which you can find out more about at:

Easy Calm

and

2. Joe Barry's Panic Away eBook which you can find out more about at:

Panic Away

Which one of these 2 approaches for dealing with panic attacks and anxiety do I think is better? That's quite difficult to answer as I think both are good. I think which is better for you may well depend on your personal learning style - the Panic Away program is an eBook, so if following written instructions and ideas suits your learning style then this may be for you. It is also a little cheaper than the Easy Calm program (neither is cheap but compared to the cost of individualised coaching sessions they both offer good value in my view).

The Panic Away Program also offers Joe Barry's famous One Move Technique for eliminating panic attacks quickly. This is a virtue if you are able to master the technique because then you may get a quick and helpful solution to panic attacks. The downside is that if you are unable to do so, then you could be disappointed.

The Easy Calm videos by contrast offer a more incremental approach - building up skills to beat panic attacks step by step by a series of exercises and ideas. Also the instruction is given on downloadable videos and you hear Jon Mercer's voice speaking (there is a sample of the first video on his site at the link to it at the foot of this blog entry so you can see what it is like). Therefore, the Easy Calm Videos do not offer such a quick solution as the Panic Away eBook but they have good helpful ideas and a patient supportive approach.

The Easy Calm videos would get my vote, but it's very much a matter of personal preference and some of you may prefer the Panic Away eBook. To find out more about each approach click on the links below:

Easy Calm - Downloadable Videos

Panic Away - eBook

Blog Post Written by Life Coach David
For Information about David's Telephone Coaching visit: Life Coaching

Assertiveness Training

2009-05-29T18:53:00.011+01:00

Assertiveness is one of the issues that people most frequently request my coaching support for.

As part of my series of life coaching books, I have recently written a downloadable eBook describing 5 different methods of helping people to become more assertive.

To find out more please click on the link below:

Assertiveness Training - How to Be Assertive

Blog Post Written by Life Coach David
For Information about David's Telephone Coaching visit: Life Coaching

Affiliate Marketing - Self Improvement Products

2009-05-24T13:06:00.003+01:00

Affiliate Marketing involves promoting and selling someone else's products for a commission or other fee.

The web page below gives some information about affiliate marketing if you want to earn additional income from selling someone else's self improvement products, such as self help ebooks, online under an affiliate program.

Affiliate Marketing - Self Improvement Products

Blog Post Written by Life Coach David
For Information about David's Telephone Coaching visit: Life Coaching

Dealing with Anger

2009-05-24T10:18:00.007+01:00

Anger is a natural emotional state in which triggered by a situation or by your own feelings about yourself or someone else you experience a surge of energy and a flow of adrenaline through your body.

In itself there is nothing wrong with anger - the problems arise when it is excessive or out of control and when you behave towards someone else (or yourself) in a damaging way because of your anger. When that happens it can create problems for you and for others.

Anger is one of the biggest causes of difficulties in relationships and also carries health risks for the person experiencing it, including potentially increasing your risk of:

high blood pressure

heart disease and cancer

depression

self harm

substance misuse

For some information about possible approaches to dealing with anger effectively, click on the link below:

Dealing with Anger

Blog Post Written by Life Coach David
For Information about David's Telephone Coaching visit: Life Coaching

Life Coaching Exercises

2009-05-09T13:24:00.006+01:00

My latest eBook available for immediate download is a collection of 50 life coaching exercises which should be useful both for personal development and for life coaches who would like a resource of coaching exercises that they can use with clients in appropriate situations when providing coaching.

To find out details of the life coaching exercises included, please click on the link below:

Life Coaching Exercises

Blog Post Written by Life Coach David
For Information about David's Telephone Coaching visit: Life Coaching

Unhealthy Food and Brain Signals

2009-05-01T12:35:00.041+01:00

According to an article published in the Daily Telegraph on 1 May 2009, researchers have now discovered that different parts of the brain become active when people are tempted by unhealthy food.

The article highlights an 'angel' part of the brain which it seems is strong in people who have good self control and less strong - according to the article - in those whose self control is not so good.

On the other hand it seems that there is another part of the brain, the 'devil' part of the brain, which is active when you feel that temptation to eat unhealthy but enticing food.

You can see the article online at the link below:

Angel and Devil Brain Signals for Food

The technical name for the angel part of the brain if you're interested in that kind of thing is "the dorsolateral prefrontal cortex" (DLPFC).

The practical question remains however - what can you or I do to increase the chances of our angel part of the brain being activated and helping us to control our eating habits?

The scientists are still working on that one, so until they find the answer, it may be best to stick to common sense practical strategies to increase your chances of eating healthily, such as:

1. Remove opportuntities for eating tempting but unhealthy food - if it's not there you can't eat it.

2. Identify in advance situations where you might be tempted to eat unhealthily or to excess and prepare a plan for how you are going to deal with those situations.

3. Think back to occasions when you successfully resisted temptation and if possible repeat the strategies that worked for you then.

Blog Post Written by Life Coach David
For Information about David's Telephone Coaching visit: Life Coaching

Einstein's Definition of Insanity

2009-04-24T16:05:00.006+01:00

The famous scientist Albert Einsten is reported to have defined insanity as consisting of doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

If this is so, then maybe most of us are insane, because I for one would have to admit that at times I have repeated behaviour in a similar situation for no particularly good reason but with the hope that maybe this time things will be different.

The point though is a good one from a life coaching perspective: If you find that you keep on doing something in one way and it is not bringing the results that you want then why not try to do something different?

Of course, it makes sense to assess the risks of doing something different first and if these seem too high then maybe moderate your change or try it out in a small way first to test the water without running too much risk if that is possible. Ask yourself 'What have I got to lose?' - If the answer is not much then why not try out the new approach and see if it works? If it doesn't you can try something else.

This brings me in mind of another reported quote from Einstein.

He is supposed to have said that a person who never made a mistake never tried anything new.

That is a quote I like!

Blog Post Written by Life Coach David
For Information about David's Telephone Coaching visit: Life Coaching

Self Criticism

2009-04-10T11:55:00.009+01:00

Negative self criticsm is often an aspect of low self esteem. If you find you are often too critical of yourself then try going through the checklist of questions below to help give some balance to your thinking:

1. Ask yourself: 'If I were talking to a friend who was in my situation and they were expressing those self critical thoughts, what would I say to them?' The response might include suggestions like:

‘Don’t be so hard on yourself’ OR ‘No one else noticed so it didn’t really matter’

2. Alternatively, imagine a reasonable and supportive friend is talking to you about your self critical perception of yourself. What might they say to you? This might include similar things to the above, or other points specifically related to the situation or to your qualities, such as:

‘Maybe this is not your strong point but you’ve got other more important qualities, like being a good friend’ OR ‘You made a mistake, that’s all. We all do it from time to time.’

3. Ask yourself if your self critical assessment is accurate or is it exaggerated? - If your self critical statement includes the words ‘never’ or ‘always’ you may be able to soften it by recognising that sometimes you make the mistake or act in the way you feel bad about, but on other occasions you do act in the positive way that you would like.

4. Often people remember mistakes and failures but not successes, so ask yourself if there any similar occasions when you have acted positively – Acknowledge that on this occasion you perhaps didn’t act as you would have liked, but remind yourself that on other occasions you have done so, to put the situation into context.

5. Even if your self critical thought is true, ask yourself how much it really matters? Is it a matter of life and death or just something that in an ideal world you might have done differently?

6. Give yourself permission to make mistakes. No one is perfect.

This checklist is taken from my low cost eBook on dealing with Low Self Esteem and Negative Self Criticism. To find out more about the eBook, visit the link below:

Low Self Esteem & Negative Self Criticism eBook

Fear of Intimacy

2009-03-31T15:27:00.005+01:00

Fear of intimacy can be a problem in relationships and may arise for a number of different reasons.

Below is a link to an article about 3 different ways in which fear of intimacy in a relationship can manifest itself:

Fear of Intimacy

Blog Post Written by Life Coach David
For Information about David's Telephone Coaching visit: Life Coaching

Low Self Esteem

2009-03-29T17:07:00.008+01:00

Low self esteem is an issue which can impact greatly on your happiness and your ability to achieve what you want in life and relationships.

I have recently written an ebook as part of my series of life coaching books, which describes techniques you can try out to help to improve your self esteem and boost your confidence and self image if this is an issue which affects you.

To find out more please click on the link below:

Low Self Esteem - Guide

Blog Post Written by Life Coach David
For Information about David's Telephone Coaching visit: Life Coaching

Neuro Linguistic Programming Training Tools

2009-03-06T12:33:00.010Z

I quite often get asked questions about neuro linguistic programming training tools by people visiting my life coaching website. I don't provide neuro linguistic programming training tools via my own website, although I do give an introduction to nlp on my website - Visit What is NLP to read that.

However there are a number of specialist nlp websites which offer free information on neuro linguistic programming tools or techniques. For example, on doing a quick search for free neuro linguistic programming training tools, I found www.nlpconnections.com which offers a forum for anyone interested in Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) and some free information or articles about various aspects of neuro linguistic programming such as:

anchoring

metaprograms

presuppositions

rapport

modelling

I haven't had the opportunity yet to look at this NLP website in detail, so I can't specifically recommend or endorse any advice or information on it, but at first sight it looks like it could be an interesting source for nlp tools, information and ideas. If anyone has any comments on it, feel free to post a comment on this blog. If you would like to read my introductory article on neuro linguistic programming, please visit the link below:

What is NLP?

Blog Post Written by Life Coach David
For Information about David's Telephone Coaching Sessions & Fees Call 0117 904 2908

Life Coaching Training

2009-03-06T09:22:00.007Z

Life coaching training courses are very much the in-thing these days and there are a multiplicity of coach training providers springing up around the UK and elsewhere, many of them making out that to become a life coach is a simple and potentially extremely lucrative process. Most successful life coaches might tell you something different - that to become a life coach, particularly if you want to set up your own life coaching business, is usually something which requires dedication, research and the ability to overcome setbacks along the way.

If you are thinking of training to be a life coach then here are 3 issues you should consider before you sign up to a particular course (this is not an exhaustive list, just some initial suggestions):

How much experience relevant to life coaching do you have, e.g. from counselling or life coaching techniques learned in another profession? Consider to what extent the life coaching training course on offer meets the gaps in your experience. If it just goes over skills and life coaching skills that you already have, then you may want to look at other courses. Identify where your knowledge and life coaching skills gaps fall short and ensure that the particular life coach training course you decide on can meet these gaps.

A life coaching training course may just look at the skills you need to work with individuals to achieve change or deal with other problems suitable for coaching. But what about the business aspects of what you are planning to do if you want to set up your own life coaching business? Consider to what extent the life coach training course on offer gives you helpful information or ideas for setting up a life coaching business.

How much do different life coaching training courses cost and what do they offer which justifies higher prices? Try to evaluate which coaching training courses offer good value for money in terms of the help that they will give you towards your aim of becoming a life coach and the correlated investment you are being asked to make.

For those who are interested in receiving free tips on different aspects of becoming a life coach, I offer a free email newsletter. To find out more, click on the link below:

Becoming a Life Coach

Blog Post Written by Life Coach David
For Information about David's Telephone Coaching Sessions & Fees Call 0117 904 2908

Buddhism for Children

2009-02-23T14:16:00.009Z

Some of you may be familiar with the buddhist tale of the one eyed turtle. Well, if you are interested in teaching buddhism to children, a new children's story book version of this famous buddhist tale has now been created, which I came across recently. For more information on this, click on the link below:

Buddhism for Children - The Little One Eyed Turtle

Blog Post Written by Life Coach David
For Information about David's Telephone Coaching Sessions & Fees Call 0117 904 2908

Coping During the Recession

2009-02-19T16:27:00.017Z

As the recession seems to get worse and worse, with job losses, savings rates falling and the stock market well below its levels of before the recession, I have been looking around for tips for people who are financially affected.

If you have been or are one of those who might be affected financially by the recession in the UK and would like to find some information about how to cope during the current recession then you may find the link below useful.

The link leads to a page on the BBC website where you can find some tips and ideas on possible financial issues that might be relevant to you if you have been adversely affected by the recession in the UK.

The issues considered on the webpage include:

savings
mortgages
repossessions
redundancy
pensions
debt:

Click below to find out more:

Coping During the Recession

I hope that you find the information there helpful and that you manage to find some effective ways of surviving the downturn or even manage to use a change in your circumstances to focus on your priorities or to find a new direction for yourself which proves fruitful.

Blog Post Written by Life Coach David
For Information about David's Telephone Coaching Sessions & Fees Call 0117 904 2908

The Jung Typology Test - A Personality Test

2009-02-19T15:51:00.016Z

The Jung Typology Test is a personality test which can be used to help you establish your type formula in line with Carl Jung and Isabel Myers-Briggs typology.

One of the main intended uses of the test is to help you find out your personality type, to give an idea of which occupations or career opportunities you may be best suited to.

I tried the Jung Typology test myself although I'm a bit sceptical of these things and usually find that they can't categorise me.

According to my test results I came out as a personality type 'INFJ' and this makes me - wait for it - a counsellor! Not a bad result, given that I'm a life coach who specialises in stress, anxiety and self esteem issues.

Apparently only 1% of the population is of that type including Shakespeare and Beethoven so I feel quite good about it, but I'm left wondering when Shakespeare and Beethoven got round to taking the test!

If you would like to take this particular online personality test yourself then please click on the link below:

Jung Typology Test - Click Here

Blog Post Written by Life Coach David
For Information about David's Telephone Coaching Sessions & Fees Call 0117 904 2908

Job Interviews - NLP Visualisation Technique

2009-02-16T10:02:00.010Z

Below is an email from a Master NLP Practitioner, who has kindly given me permission to publish it anonymously on this blog. The email describes a visualisation technique that the writer used successfully to help prepare for interviews. I hope that it may be of use to others who might feel anxiety or nervousness about a job interview:

"David,

Just thought I`d drop you a line as I was interested to see a blog item on the above subject [Getting Back to Work with Anxiety]. I personally have had a year of turmoil and big challenges leading to anxiety. This arose from leaving a career of 22 years (Military) and having to find a brand new job in civilian life. Fortunately I am also a Master NLP practitioner. I used many techniques to help myself preparing for and going for interviews. One of the main ones was a visualisation technique or "going to the movies" where I would visualise myself preparing for and going through interview. I really hyped the movie of myself up so that I could see myself smiling, shoulders back and feel myself feeling really confident as I entered the interview room and could hear myself saying "You can do this, you have all the skills etc." I would then float up into the movie and try and see, hear and feel through the process completely so that when the time came I had practised it many times in my mind - so that it was almost natural on the day.

I also listened to a CD of my hero - Martin Luther King - listening to his confidence in his speeches and feeling his strength. Last but not least was the '3 heroes' technique in which I chose 3 people who I totally admire and asked myself what would they be saying to you right now. The technique is to move position each time as you 'act' out being your hero and listen to the encouragement and advice they would give you there and then.

These techniques really helped along with some good deep breathing techniques. After 2 interviews, a ten minute presentation and a psychological profile test I got the job (1st job offer). I am now six months down the line and proud of what I have achieved. There has been some challenging days but the 'will' has always been strong with the knowledge that you can always overcome.

Many Thanks for your emails and your blog site it is very helpful."

Neuro Linguistic Programming Courses

2009-02-03T18:19:00.003Z

Below is a link to a web page where you can find details of some providers offering training courses in neuro linguistic programming (NLP):

Neuro Linguistic Programming Courses

Blog Post Written by Life Coach David
For Information about David's Telephone Coaching Sessions & Fees Call 0117 904 2908

Fear of Rejection

2009-01-30T11:32:00.009Z

Below is an email I received recently about someone’s fear of rejection in a relationship, together with my response (I have changed the name at the writer’s request for anonymity):

Dear David,

I am hoping that you would be able to offer me advice. Basically I am struggling with starting relationships. I feel that I do want a boyfriend. I recently started dating a really nice guy but I rejected him because I have a massive fear of rejection (I felt quite smug about it, at least I did it first). I have always been rejected in my past relationships. I tend to feel the person I am dating would be happier with someone else, even though I have a lot to offer and I am a nice person. I want to break this unhealthy cycle as it is making me unhappy.

Please help!

Thank you

Jane

Hi Jane

Thank you for your question.

Fear of rejection is something that most, if not all, of us feel at some times and it can lead us to do funny things like, in your instance, trying to get in first and reject the other person even if you actually like them. Things which you might try to help with this could be:

1. If you get to a point to where you are about to reject someone foolishly because of your own fear of rejection, try any of the following –
• Create a little breathing space immediately before you intend to deliver the rejection and use that breathing space to try to assess more logically what you really want to do by writing down the good things about the relationship and reflecting on whether there is any genuine reason to end it or if it is just your irrational fear
• Speak to a reliable friend to explain what you are feeling and unburden yourself of some of the feeling of angst
• Do an activity that helps you to calm down – for example, walking or meditation or something enjoyable to have a break, like watching a light, humourous film.

2. At some point if you continue with a relationship you are going to need to explain to your partner the fear that you feel. This can be difficult because in doing so you are showing your own vulnerability. But in my view it is essential, because otherwise your partner may misunderstand your actions. You need to decide when is best to do this, but generally speaking if you can, you might try to explain it at a point when things are going well between you both, perhaps opening up about a past experience to give a context. This is a risk but it is a risk that is worth taking, because if the relationship is to succeed then this can help to increase communication and your partner may be able to support you. If it doesn’t succeed then it is quite likely the relationship wouldn’t have succeeded anyway.

3. Remember that we all have problems in relationships – your particular problem is that of fear of rejection. Your partner may have that problem too or else other problems. If you can be supportive and show understanding of your partner’s problems that may also be an opportunity for you to begin to explain the difficulties that you have and for you to understand each other better. If the relationship is going to work then it is likely that he will be supportive too then - if not, then he may not be worth it.

Blog Post Written by Life Coach David
For Information about David's Telephone Coaching Sessions & Fees Call 0117 904 2908

Becoming a Life Coach

2009-01-29T11:45:00.008Z

If you are interested in becoming a life coach or if you are a life coach already and want to develop or improve your business, please feel free to sign up to receive my free email tips on becoming and being a successful life coach at the link below:

Becoming a Life Coach

Blog Post Written by Life Coach David
For Information about David's Telephone Coaching Sessions & Fees Call 0117 904 2908

New Year Tips

2009-01-13T15:46:00.014Z

For tips on making 2009 a positive year for you, click on the link below:

New Year Tips

Blog Post Written by Life Coach David
For Information about David's Telephone Coaching Sessions & Fees Call 0117 904 2908

Affiliate Program for Self Help Book

2009-01-08T11:42:00.007Z

My self help e-book Changing Your Life - A Practical Guide is now open for sale by affiliates in the UK, US or worldwide via Clickbank, the well-known affiliate marketing network.

If you are a life coach or affiliate marketer interested in selling the ebook online to clients or others as an instantly downloadable product for a net commission of 70% then you can find out details of how to do so at the link below:

Affiliate Program - Self Help eBook

Blog Post Written by Life Coach David
For Information about David's Telephone Coaching Sessions & Fees Call 0117 904 2908

Free Dieting Tips

2009-01-05T17:41:00.012Z

I have created a new free email newsletter giving tips on dieting with a particular emphasis on cognitive behavioural strategies for helping to deal with the psychological and emotional aspects of dieting - dealing with temptation, cravings etc.

If you would like to sign up to receive the free dieting tips (you can unsubscribe at any time) please click on the link below:

Free Dieting Tips

Blog Post Written by Life Coach David
For Information about David's Telephone Coaching Sessions & Fees Call 0117 904 2908