Comedy Plus

The Animals a Woman Needs

2009-11-22T00:10:00.000-08:00

Best Blog Award

2009-11-21T18:00:00.000-08:00

Nathan of Wild Facts has given me the Best Blog award. I met Nathan through Entrecard by the way. A great big thank you to Nathan for giving me this award. Here are the rules of the road for this award:

Post it on your blog together with the name of the person who has granted the award and his/her blog link.
Pass the award to 15 other blogs that you have recently discovered and think are great!

Here's Nathan pics:

Daisy the Curly Cat
Marg’s Pets
The Everyday Adventurer
Cute as a Buggy
The Ecology Spirit

The Fly on the Wall
Comedy Plus
Goal for the Green
A Look in a Creative Mind
Forensic Astrology

Daily Beer Review
Out of Context: Pieces of a Life
Women’s Wit
Ask Fisher
Zoo Kawaii

I'm probably going to shock everyone by actually following the rules here, but I'm going to pass this award on to 15 blogs that are fairly new to me.

Man Over Board
A Chronicler's Life
The Fashion Emissary
Christian Traditions
The Damn Nation

Photography by KML
Mumblings
Paperkraft.net
Travel Guide
Homeopathic Software & Information

Sugar The Golden Retriever
Go Las Vegas Baby
Black Woman Thinks...
The Patriot Page
Out of the Mundane

All 15 of my picks are folks I've met through Entrecard. Yes Speedy you can copy and paste this post.

Making a Difference

2009-11-21T00:10:00.000-08:00

I received this email yesterday from Lands' End. I thought it was very well done and directed right at me as a customer of Lands' End. I wanted to share it with my readers. This is the entire message:

This story will inspire you to make a difference. Watch it to the end - you're a part of it too.

Click Here

Animator vs Animation

2009-11-20T00:10:00.000-08:00

Just click on the picture below, click on play, then leave the mouse alone, sit back and enjoy a piece of creative brilliance.

Hat tip: My sister ♥Debbie♥

This Week in Entrecard

2009-11-19T18:00:00.000-08:00

This is a great big thank you
for last weeks advertisers:

The Rabbis

2009-11-19T00:10:00.000-08:00

So it seems that these four rabbis had a series of theological arguments, and three were always in accord against the fourth. One day, the odd rabbi out, after the usual "3 to 1, majority rules" statement that signified that he had lost again, decided to appeal to a higher authority.

"Oh, God!" he cried. "I know in my heart that I am right and they are wrong! Please give me a sign to prove it to them!"

It was a beautiful, sunny day. As soon as the rabbi finished his prayer, a storm cloud moved across the sky above the four. It rumbled once and dissolved. "A sign from God! See, I'm right, I knew it!" But the other three disagreed, pointing out that storm clouds form on hot days.

So the rabbi prayed again: "Oh, God, I need a bigger sign to show that I am right and they are wrong. So please, God, a bigger sign!" This time four storm clouds appeared, rushed toward each other to form one big cloud, and a bolt of lightning slammed into a tree on a nearby hill.

"I told you I was right!" cried the rabbi, but his friends insisted that nothing had happened that could not be explained by natural causes.

The rabbi was getting ready to ask for a very big sign, but just as he said, "Oh God...," the sky turned pitch black, the earth shook, and a deep, booming voice intoned, "Heeeeeeeeee's Riiiiiiiiight!"

The rabbi put his hands on his hips, turned to the other three, and said, "Well?"

"So?," shrugged one of the other rabbis, "now it's 3 to 2."

Efficiency

2009-11-18T00:10:00.000-08:00

An efficiency expert concluded his lecture with a note of caution. "You don't want to try these techniques at home."

"Why not?" asked somebody from the audience.

"I watched my wife's routine at breakfast for years," the expert explained. "She made lots of trips between the refrigerator, stove, table and cabinets, often carrying a single item at a time. One day I told her, 'Hon, why don't you try carrying several things at once?'"

"Did it save time?" the person in the audience asked.

"Actually, yes," replied the expert. "It used to take her 20 minutes to make breakfast. Now I do it in seven."

Golden Lion Award

2009-11-17T18:00:00.000-08:00

Ana of JustAna gave me the Golden Lion award. Thank you so very much Ana. I love what this award stands for. What a touching tribute from one blogger to another.

Here's what this award is all about:

"My very first blog award I was given was by a young woman in SF named PhC, who was struggling with HIV. She has dropped off the blogosphere for the last two years, but I want to replay her gift forward. I don't know if she has left this earth, or left the blogosphere, but I miss her."

Here's Ana's picks:

Jennifer at BPC in OKC;
Cc at Clinically clueless;
Cheryl at Wishing and Discovering;
Marissa Muller at Depression Introspection;
Marj at Survivors can Thrive!;
Matthew at It's Quite an Experience;
Mike at Rambling Stuff;
Sandee at Comedy Plus;
Tracy at Black Holes and Barbies

I pass this award on to everyone in my buddies list.

America: Passing the Blame

2009-11-17T00:10:00.000-08:00

We yanks just love to pass the blame. What other country can boast of 3 lawyers for every citizen. We come up with the best reasons to blame others for our own problems. Here's a small list...

If a woman burns her thighs on the hot coffee she's holding in her lap while driving, she blames the restaurant.

If your teen-age son kills himself or then next door neighbors, you blame the rock 'n' roll music or musician he liked.

If you smoke three packs a day for 40 years and die of lung cancer, your family blames the tobacco company.

If your daughter gets pregnant by the football captain you blame the school for poor sex education.

If your neighbor crashes into a tree while driving home drunk, you blame the bartender.

If your cousin gets AIDS because the needle he used to shoot up with heroin was dirty, you blame the government for not providing clean ones.

If your grandchildren are brats without manners, you blame television.

If your friend is shot by a deranged madman, you blame the gun manufacturer.

And if a crazed person breaks into the cockpit and tries to kill the pilots at 35,000 feet, and the passengers kill him instead, the mother of the deceased blames the airline.

I guess I'll just never understand the world as it is anymore. So if I die while my old, wrinkled ass is parked in front of this computer while typing this joke - I want you to blame Bill Gates, OK?

I'm Sassy and Loyal

2009-11-16T18:00:00.000-08:00

Mariuca of Mariuca Wishing on a Falling Star gave me a ton of awards. Thank you so very much Mariuca. I only took the two I didn't have though.

Here's Mariuca's picks:

Thank you to everybody who presented me with these lovely awards. Your love for my blog continues to drive me to be a better blogger and friend. And now, it gives me great pleasure to pass on the following awards to Monica, GG, Jean, LadyJava, Ayie, Rizal, Tekkaus, Debbs, Kim, Foong, Emila, Nessa, Elai, Nick, Metz, Janice, Sandee, Roxy, Lil', Adrian, Shemah, Mize, Ane, LR, Yoon See, Fida, Bill, Liza and Bokjae.

I pass these two awards on to everyone in my buddies and link exchange lists.

Awww...Mondays #39

2009-11-16T00:10:00.000-08:00

"AWWW MONDAYS" Participants

1. Mike golch
2. Jack K.
3. Diane
4. SilverNeurotic
5. K
6. Empress Bee (of the High Sea)

7. Grace
8. Lois Grebowski
9. barb
10. Jim
11. Rajagopalan
12. Sandy B

13. Karen @ Blazing Minds
14. Steve
15. Ana
16. Bingo
17. Cloudia

Learn more about "AWWW MONDAYS" here.
View More "AWWW MONDAYS" Participants
Get The Code

One Nation Under God

2009-11-15T00:10:00.001-08:00

The Pledge of Allegiance to the United States is an oath of loyalty to the republic of the United States of America, originally composed by Francis Bellamy in 1892. The Pledge has been modified four times since then, with the most recent change adding the words "under God" in 1954. The Pledge is predominantly sworn by children in public schools in response to state laws requiring the Pledge to be offered. Congressional sessions open with the swearing of the Pledge, as do government meetings at local levels, meetings held by the Boy Scouts of America, and some sporting events.

The current version of the Pledge of Allegiance reads:

"I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America and to the republic for which it stands: one nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all."

The Comment Game

2009-11-14T00:10:00.000-08:00

It's time to play the comment game again. We are off to the boat for the weekend (what else is new). Now play nice okay, and have a terrific weekend.

Here's how it goes: I'll start the game off at the bottom of this post by choosing two words or phrases, like coffee or tea, and which ever one you prefer you choose. You can also explain why. When you have done that you do two new words or phrases for the next commenter to choose from. Feel free to come back as often as you like. Just have fun. If someone derails the game will one of you put it back on track? Thanks.

First comment: Ham or Turkey??

Have a Great Weekend!

2009-11-13T00:10:00.000-08:00

May your weekend be filled with beauty and peace...

Big hug to my sister ♥Debbie♥

This Week in Entrecard

2009-11-12T18:00:00.000-08:00

This is a great big thank you
for last weeks advertisers:

Paddy and Maggie

2009-11-12T00:10:00.000-08:00

Some years ago, Paddy married an attractive woman, Maggie, half his age, in a small coastal Irish community. After several months, Maggie complained that she had never climaxed during sex and according to her Grandmother all Irish women are entitled to a climax once in a while.

So, to resolve the problem and since there was no trustworthy doctor anywhere in the village, they went to see the Veterinarian. The Vet didn’t have a clue, but he did recall how, during the hot summer, his mother and father would fan a cow that was having difficulty breeding, with a big towel. This would cool her down and make her relax.

So the Vet told Paddy and Maggie to hire a strong, virile young man to wave a big towel over them while they were having sex. This, the Vet said, would cause the young wife to cool down, relax, then climax. So the couple hired a strong young man from Dublin to wave that big towel over them as the Vet suggested.

After many efforts, Maggie still had not climaxed so they went back to the Vet.
The Vet said for her to change partners and let the young man have sex with her while Paddy waved the big towel. They tried it that night and Maggie went into wild, screaming, ear-splitting climaxes, one right after the other for about two and a half hours.

When it was over, Paddy looked down at the exhausted young man and, in a boasting voice, said: “And that, me son, is how ya waves a towel.”

Stolen from: Phil of Phils Phun

One Texas Soldier

2009-11-11T00:10:00.000-08:00

A large group of Taliban soldiers are moving down a road when they hear a voice call from behind a sand-dune. "One Texas soldier is better than ten Taliban".

The Taliban commander quickly sends 10 of his best soldiers over the dune whereupon a gun-battle breaks out and continues for a few minutes, then silence.

The voice then calls out "One Texan is better than one hundred Taliban".

Furious, the Taliban commander sends his next best 100 troops over the dune and instantly a huge gunfight commences. After 10 minutes of battle, again silence.

The Texan voice calls out again "One Texan is better than one thousand Taliban".

The enraged Taliban Commander musters one thousand fighters and sends them across the dune. Cannon, rocket and machine gun fire ring out as a huge battle is fought. Then silence.

Eventually one wounded Taliban fighter crawls back over the dune and with his dying words tells his commander, "Don't send any more men, its a trap. There's actually two of them."

Hat tip: Mike of Rambling Stuff and Hale McKay of It Occurred To Me

Best Blog Award

2009-11-10T18:00:00.000-08:00

Karen of WillOaks Studio has given me the Best Blog award. Thank you so much Karen. If you love photography you might want to pop over to her site. Her shots are breathtakingly beautiful.

The Best Blog Award rules are:

To accept the award, post it on your blog together with the name of the person who has granted the award and his/her blog link. Pass the award to 15 other blogs that you have recently discovered and think are great! Remember to contact the bloggers you've awarded to let them know they have been chosen for this award.

Here's Karen's picks:

Toronto City Life
Fact of the Day.CA
The Mare's Tales
Gypsy Mare Studio
Poetic Shutterbug
Hot Rocks Glass Jewels
The Maaaaa of Pricilla
Alterity
Comedy Plus
AskCherlock.Com
Secret Forest
Peripheral Vision
The Ancient Digger
My Photo Blog
Just My Two Cents

I'm passing this award on to everyone in my buddy and link exchange list.

A Night In Mexico

2009-11-10T00:10:00.000-08:00

Three women go down to Mexico one night, get drunk, and wake up in jail, only to find that they are to be executed in the morning, though none of them can remember what they did the night before.

The first one, a redhead, is strapped in the electric chair, and is asked if she has any last words. She says, "I am from Grace University, and believe in the almighty power of God to intervene on the behalf of the innocent," They throw the switch and nothing happens.

They all immediately prostrate themselves; beg for her forgiveness, and release her.

The second one, a brunette, is strapped in and gives her last words, "I am from the Creighton School of Law and I believe in the power of justice to intervene on the part of the innocent." They throw the switch and again, nothing happens.

Again, they all immediately prostrate themselves; beg for her forgiveness, and release her.

The last one, a blonde, is strapped in and says, "Well, I'm from the University of Alabama, Huntsville and just graduated with a degree in Electrical Engineering, and I'll tell you right now, you ain't gonna electrocute nobody if you don't plug this thing in."

Awww...Mondays #38

2009-11-09T00:10:00.000-08:00

"AWWW MONDAYS" Participants

1. plainolebob
2. gp in montana
3. Mike golch
4. Free T Shirts
5. DianeCA
6. Jack K
7. Lois Grebowski
8. Don
9. barb

10. Linda
11. RennyBA's Terella
12. Empress Bee (of the High Sea)
13. KAT
14. K
15. kat
16. Dawn
17. Speedcat Hollydale
18. Jim

19. WillOaks Studio
20. Rajagopalan
21. TrueThinks
22. Anthony North
23. Essaywriter.UK
24. Bingo
25. Storyteller

Learn more about "AWWW MONDAYS" here.
View More "AWWW MONDAYS" Participants
Get The Code

Two Trouble Makers

2009-11-08T00:10:00.000-08:00

A couple had two little mischievous boys, ages 8 and 10. They were always getting into trouble, and their parents knew that if any mischief occurred in their town, their sons would get the blame.

The boys' mother heard that a clergyman in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys. The clergyman agreed and asked to see them individually.

So, the mother sent her 8-year-old first, in the morning, with the older boy to see the clergyman in the afternoon.

The clergyman, a huge man with a booming voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly, "Where is God?"

They boy's mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there with his mouth hanging open.

The clergyman repeated the question. "Where is God?"

Again, the boy made no attempt to answer.

So, the clergyman raised his voice some more and shook his finger in the boy's face and bellowed, "Where is God!?"

The boy screamed and bolted from the room. He ran directly home and dove into his closet, slamming the door behind him.

When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked, "What happened?"

The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied: "We are in real BIG trouble this time! God is missing, and they think we did it!"

What my Birthdate Means

2009-11-07T00:10:00.000-08:00

You Are a Tycoon

Watch out Donald Trump! You've got a head for business and money.
You'll make it rich some day, even if you haven't figured out how yet.
A supreme individualist, you shouldn't get stuck in a corporate job.
Instead, make your own way - so that you can be the boss.

Your strength: Your undying determination
Your weakness: You require an opulent lifestyle
Your power color: Plum
Your power symbol: Dollar sign
Your power month: August

Some of this is right on the money.

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?
The First Rule of Blogthings Is: You Don't Talk About Blogthings

What's in a Name?

2009-11-06T00:10:00.000-08:00

What Sandee Means...
S is for Sporty
A is for Adventurous
N is for Neat
D is for Darling
E is for Exquisite
E is for Energetic

That's just so me. Well, some of it is.

What Does Your Name Mean?
Blogthings: A Fine Line Between Insight and Stupidity

This Week in Entrecard

2009-11-05T18:00:00.000-08:00

This is a great big thank you
for last weeks advertisers:

Ancient Chinese Torture

2009-11-05T00:10:00.000-08:00

A young man was lost wandering in a forest, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by a very old Chinese man with a long, grey beard.

"I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?"

"Certainly," the Chinese man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will inflict upon you the three worst Chinese tortures known to man."

"Ok," said the man, thinking that the daughter must be pretty old given her father's age, and entered the house. Before dinner, the daughter came down the stairs. She was young, beautiful, and had a fantastic figure. She was obviously attracted to the young man since she couldn't keep her eyes off him during the meal.

Remembering the old man's warning, he ignored her and went up to bed alone. But during he night, he could bear it no longer, and sneaked into her room for a night of passion. He was careful to keep everything quiet so the old man wouldn't hear. Near dawn he crept back to his room, exhausted, but happy.

He woke to feel a pressure on his chest. Opening his eyes he saw a large rock on his chest with a note on it that read, "Chinese Torture 1: Large rock on chest."

"Well, that's pretty pathetic," he thought. "If that's the best the old man can do then I don't have much to worry about." He picked the large rock, walked over to the window and threw it out. As he did so he noticed another note on it that read: "Chinese Torture 2: Rock tied to left testicle." In a panic he glanced down and saw the rope was already getting close to the end. Figuring that a few broken bones was better than castration, he jumped out of the window after the boulder. As he plummeted downward he saw a large sign on the ground that read, "Chinese Torture 3: Right testicle tied to bedpost."