tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25161207.post114741465783437679..comments2009-07-14T06:20:34.258-04:00Mike Younghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01125676207376106849mikeayoung@gmail.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25161207.post-1147848871576229582006-05-17T02:54:00.000-04:002006-05-17T02:54:00.000-04:00I thought of 2/3 of those things.Mike Younghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01125676207376106849noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25161207.post-1147840996670384402006-05-17T00:43:00.000-04:002006-05-17T00:43:00.000-04:00Hmm...that's more interesting than I meant to write. <I>Hang</I> out is what I was going for, but I think I like the typo better. Maybe we were harassing customers with bibles or pictures of mutilated chickens. Maybe we were selling ourselves.Jesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09234809891922483607noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25161207.post-1147812231163424672006-05-16T16:43:00.000-04:002006-05-16T16:43:00.000-04:00Thanks, Jessica. Squrimy -- I like that.<BR/><BR/>What do you mean "hand out in the McDonald's parking lot?"Mike Younghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01125676207376106849noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25161207.post-1147808155497411812006-05-16T15:35:00.000-04:002006-05-16T15:35:00.000-04:00This poem is an odd journey for me. For the bulk of it I am reminded of summer in a very small town, sitting in my friend's basement and trying to avoid breaking down and just going to hand out in the McDonald's parking lot. But there's a sensitivity at the end that made me sort of indifferent to the rest of the poem, in parts like "that we would raze a secret cornfield and spackle it neon" and the final two lines.<BR/><BR/>Ditto on Bryan in terms of the couplets - that structure works for me a lot. And, I don't know, maybe I'm not made indifferent about the beginning, because the language is really, I don't know, <I>squirmy</I> or something. <BR/><BR/>I'm definately pro-this-poem.Jesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09234809891922483607noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25161207.post-1147677678620862082006-05-15T03:21:00.000-04:002006-05-15T03:21:00.000-04:00Or someone say <I>anything</I>.<BR/><BR/>Thanks, B.Mike Younghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01125676207376106849noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25161207.post-1147645659331006782006-05-14T18:27:00.000-04:002006-05-14T18:27:00.000-04:00here are the reasons i (bryan coffelt) like this poem:<BR/><BR/>1.) the language is intense. it's like a rope tightening on my skin the more i read.<BR/><BR/>2.) the language does not assert its intensity. i'm not going to quote anything in particular, but i think you know what i mean. if not, go wrestle a goat.<BR/><BR/>3.) normally i would say "get rid of the distracting couplets" but the couplets aren't distracting. they solidify the 'feeling' of the poem. they make it solid. not liquid-y.<BR/><BR/><BR/>now: someone argue with me and tell mike his poem sucks, and why.Bryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13359105032248441307noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25161207.post-1147645381597116732006-05-14T18:23:00.000-04:002006-05-14T18:23:00.000-04:00i like this poem.<BR/><BR/>-che gueverra, revolutionary<BR/><BR/>i like this poem.<BR/><BR/>-bryan coffelt, whisperBryanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13359105032248441307noreply@blogger.com