This Girl is Not An Island

Call to Nebraska

2009-12-03T09:50:00.002-06:00

Ben and I drove to Columbus, Nebraska over Thanksgiving weekend to visit the congregation there that called Ben. It was an encouraging visit and we enjoyed meeting many kind people there. Ben is declining the call. Here is his statement for our church bulletin:

Dear Brothers and Sisters in Christ,

After Susan and I had a chance to visit Peace Lutheran Church in Columbus, Nebraska, last weekend, and after praying for God’s leading and discernment, I informed Peace-Columbus that I am declining their call to be their Associate Pastor. I do so with prayers that God will raise up the right man to serve them in this capacity; please keep our brothers and sisters in your prayers as well. Thank you to everyone for their prayers, encouragement, and thoughts during this time of considering calls to other congregations. I am confident that God works through the call process and will continue to use me in His mission in this place until He sees fit to call me elsewhere. If you have any questions regarding the call process, please do not hesitate to contact me. Thank you!

In Christ, Pastor Ben Squires

Thanks for your prayers and encouragement.

Thanksgiving according to Sam

2009-11-27T12:03:00.000-06:00

Kindergarten Thanksgiving

2009-11-25T12:11:00.003-06:00

Yesterday I got to be Sam's special guest for the Madison Elementary Kindergarten Thanksgiving Feast. It was awesome. About 60 kindergarteners wearing turkey hats and singing songs about the holiday. Then a serious feast: turkey, potatoes, dressing, pumpkin pie. Sam had made placemats for both of us and we had turkey napkin rings. The finale was a construction-paper-turkey project for us to make together.

Worldwide Premier

2009-11-13T20:08:00.002-06:00

I'm trying out iMovie for the first time. This video was inspired by Jude's recent hospital stay.

Another Call

2009-11-10T09:45:00.004-06:00

Jude is looking very well. I'll take him to see the surgeon on Friday, and it sounds like his appendectomy in December will be outpatient surgery. Owen came home from Kentucky on Sunday, and we are all happy to be together in the house again. It was a discombobulating couple of weeks.

Speaking of discombobulation, Ben has received a call to a congregation in Nebraska. Here's the announcement Ben wrote for Sunday's bulletin:

Dear Brothers and Sisters in Christ,

This week I informed St. Paul’s Lutheran Church in Matteson, Illinois, that I am declining their call to be their Associate Pastor. I do so with prayers that God will raise up the right man to serve them in this capacity; please keep our brothers and sisters in your prayers as well. I will now move forward in considering the call to be Associate Pastor at Peace Lutheran Church in Columbus, Nebraska. Peace-Columbus also is asking me to consider working with Youth and Education. We plan on deciding about this call by mid-December. Please keep Susan, our boys, and me in your prayers while we take steps to figure out where God is leading us to serve Him. Thank you to those of you who have shared your thoughts with me and your encouragement that you have given me as a pastor. As I have been saying and will continue to say during this process, during this time of prayerful consideration of these calls, my heart is very much in the ministry at Immanuel, serving the Lord together with you as we tell others the Good News of Jesus Christ.

In Christ, Pastor Ben Squires (pastorsquires@immanuelbrookfield.org)

Calls are a curious business. We believe that God has called Ben to serve at Immanuel, where he is now, and we want to stay here unless we become convinced that He is sending us elsewhere. A call from another congregation is like an invitation to consider that God is taking us elsewhere. So, we are praying and considering and investigating. We'll keep you posted.

Recuperation Week

2009-11-03T12:35:00.003-06:00

Jude is having a good time being at home. Today we went to the zoo, and he was very happy in the stroller chatting about the animals.

The hardest part of our day is the morning/bedtime antibiotic routine. Jude reminds me every time that the antibiotic is YUCKY! This morning Sam was eating breakfast while I dispensed medicine, and he tried to fight me to leave Jude alone. It's a pretty brutal sight, since I have to pin Jude down while he screams and shoot a teaspoon of medicine in his cheek. I appreciate that Sam wants to protect his brother.

Thankfully, Jude doesn't hold a grudge.

I am still pretty tired. Every day Jude is a little more independent, and I am very thankful. Two weeks of having him on my lap most of the day took some of the fun out of cuddling. He has graduated to being physically separated from my body, but wanting to be in the same room at all times.

Sam is showing more maturity than I'd expected. He has been calm about all the special things Jude is getting (cards, small gifts) and is still very happy to go to school every morning. I'm very proud of him.

Jude's Home!

2009-11-01T13:21:00.002-06:00

Jude came home from the hospital Saturday. It is sooo good for us to be back home. Jude, Ben, and I all slept a lot in the last 24 hours.

Jude made it home with no tubes or drains attached to his body. He just has one little gauze bandage that we can take off as soon as he is emotionally prepared to separate. :) He is very tired, and still in a fair bit of pain, but all in all he seems to be himself. He will have surgery to remove his appendix on Dec. 7. When I told him the plan -- he'll take medicine (antibiotics) for a couple of weeks, and then we'll visit the surgeon to see how he's doing, and then after Thanksgiving he'll go back to the hospital to get his appendix out -- Jude cheered. I suppose the pain associated with the hospital is surpassed by the abundance of attention he received there.

We're in for a quiet week. My parents, God bless them, are hosting Owen at their house for the week. Sam will be in school, and we can move at Jude's pace for several days. I'm sure that will be good for all of us.

Hospital Trick or Treat

2009-10-30T09:46:00.005-06:00

Children's Hospital has a fantastic group of staff and volunteers who make sure the kids can have some fun here. Today they planned a trick-or-treat to the nurses's stations on this unit. Jude was delighted to wear his skeleton costume and get little toys.

A skeleton on IV fluids.

Now it sounds like tomorrow is the earliest Jude will come home. His appetite is still very small, and it's important that he be eating and drinking well before we take him home. So far, Jude has displayed no homesickness. He seems to think the hospital is a pretty good arrangement.

Sam had a special day at school on Wednesday -- a character parade, and everyone in his class dressed up as Clifford the big red dog. I didn't make it to school that day, but a friend sent me this great picture.

Jude & His Smiles

2009-10-29T10:34:00.004-06:00

Jude is looking good today! He's in the playroom across the hall right now -- where he walked on his own! He is excited with all the fun toys and seems completely distracted from his leashes. Praise God.

Jude & His Appendix

2009-10-28T13:52:00.003-06:00

Jude is doing very well today. I took this photo yesterday after his procedure, and he was still sleeping off the sedative. Today he is playing in his bed, chatting with us, smiling and laughing. It is so encouraging to see his sweet personality again.

The procedure went very smoothly yesterday. The infected fluid was drained from his abdomen, and it looks like his recovery is going well. I hope we'll go home on Friday, but this is a one-day-at-a-time process. The goal now is to take antibiotics and give the infection time to heal, and then have surgery to remove his appendix in about a month.

Jude's had visits from three pastors (a perk of being a pastor's kid!) and has a happy little collection of get-well cards and some balloons from Grandma and Grandpa. The pillowcase is a "prize" the nurse gave him for being such a brave patient. It's fun to see him smile over every card or gift. He is a compassionate little boy and seems to appreciate being cared for.

The next hurdle in recuperation is getting Jude to walk somewhere. He made it ten steps to the couch by his bed and back again. We have told him about the playroom that is across the hallway, but so far he's deterred by the pain of walking.

Thank you for every prayer, e-mail, phone call, or kind word you've given us. It is so reassuring to know our family is loved and cared for.

Week of News

2009-10-27T04:47:00.002-06:00

I am very tired, for reasons that become obvious below. This is an artless and direct post, but contains important news about us.

1. Jude has a ruptured appendix. He was admitted to Children's Hospital Monday afternoon. It is very early Tuesday morning, and I'm still a little foggy on what's going to happen next. Jude's had a rough night but seems comfortable now. We expect a procedure soon to drain accumulated fluid from around his appendix, and then a few days at the hospital to see he rebounds. Eventually, there will be surgery to remove the appendix. Please pray for him. He is a very cooperative patient, but several days in the hospital is likely to make him agitated.

2. Ben has received a call to a congregation in Matteson, Illinois. They are asking him to come there as associate pastor responsible primarily for youth and education. During the next few weeks, our family will be praying about this and try to see where God is leading us.

Picturesque

2009-10-22T12:42:00.003-05:00

Do you remember the opening credits from the Little House on the Prairie tv show? Little girls running through a meadow of flowers on a sunny day, bright happy music in the background. For most of September, with minor variation, that's how my mornings looked.

The boys and I walk Sam to school, two blocks from our house. We walk/run across a football field, around or under a few pine trees, pick up sticks and pinecones to play with along the way. If we're early, they run on the playground for a few minutes until the bell rings. Sometimes I hang around and chat with another parent before walking back home.

The tide has turned. Today we plodded dejectedly through cold, steady rain. Sam still insists on wearing a little cotton jacket, so he was cold. Jude and Owen were bundled in coats and under blankets riding in a wagon. Jude was a little feverish, but sobbing because "I want to walk!"

When we got home, Jude took off his coat and then yammered on about how much he likes the rain and wasn't it fun taking Sam to school?

Owen

2009-10-21T20:16:00.002-05:00

Owen is a many-splendored boy. He has a sweet, inquisitive disposition. When Jude was lying in bed too sick to play, Owen sat on the floor beside him and "read" several books. Today, he spent half an hour drooling on wooden puzzle pieces and then fervently rubbing them on his lips before placing them correctly in the puzzle board.

By far one of my favorite things about Owen is the way he dances. He is enthusiastic and hilarious. The most-requested dance tune is "Move It, Move It" from the Madagascar soundtrack. He's developed a habit of using the stairs as a staging area to prepare for his fanciest moves. He alerts me to his performance with a demanding, "Watch this, Mom!"

Sam

2009-10-20T11:00:00.003-05:00

A conversation, held en route to school recently:

Sam: Why are we on the world?

Me: What?

Sam: Why are we on the world?

M: Why are we on the world?

S: Why. Are. We. On. The. Wur. Uld.

M: Do you mean why did God make you?

S: Yeah.

M: Because He loves you.

S: NO HE DOESN’T!

M: I’m very sure that He does.

S: Why?

M: Oh, I’ve believed that ever since you were born.

S: Ok.

Jude

2009-10-19T11:36:00.003-05:00

This boy nurtures my spirit. Recently he learned something in Sunday school about God being the biggest, and used several sheets of paper drawing brick walls in honor of God's bigness. Together we learned a verse about God's power: "The Lord your God is with you; He is mighty to save." Jude would repeat each phrase after me while he drew bricks in his wall. He is a devoted student.

A few days after that happy episode, Jude had a crazy night. He woke up every hour crying and begging for Ben and me to come to his room. Around 2:00 a.m. he was on the stairs screaming. When I came to check on him, he told me he needed new pjs because his were wet. Standing in the laundry room cleaning up, I asked if he needed to pee anymore. He matter-of-factly replied, "No, I peed on the stairs." After I returned him to bed and was cleaning urine out of the carpet I begged God to help me love that exasperating child and to please leave him in bed for the rest of the night.

Now he's sick. He vomited in bed last night. We didn't hear any unusual sounds downstairs until Jude was whimpering on the steps and called, "Dad, I have a mess for you to clean up."

Five-Year-Old Faith

2009-10-01T19:52:00.002-05:00

Last night Sam was feeling a little anxious at bedtime. We laid on his bed for a while chatting about all kinds of interesting things. "Mom, I have a strange question. How did you grow up so fast? Do you think that's a strange question?"

Then I turned out the light and said I'd stay with him for one song on his bedtime CD. When it was time for me to leave, his mouth turned down and he seemed on the verge of tears. "But I'm scared and I don't want to sleep alone!" I asked if I could pray for him, and he nodded sadly. I said a very short prayer asking God to protect Sam, and then he rolled over and went to sleep easily.

Why It's Nice to Be the Youngest

2009-09-28T21:11:00.002-05:00

We're looking forward to a visit from Grandma in a couple of days, and are waiting as eagerly as in this picture.

So, today I was noticing some of the very nice things for Owen about being the youngest child in our family.

Starting school will not be nearly as mysterious as it has been for Sam. Even Owen understands what the bell means. In the morning, the boys play on the playground. When the school bell rings, Owen stops and calls "Time for cool!" and runs to where Sam waits in line for his teacher.
He has more than just annoyed old Mom to help him along. Walking home from school, Owen stopped a few times (normal) and laid down on the sidewalk to sob (not normal). My strategy is to sit and wait for him. If I go back to get him, it's a game that never ends. Today Sam waited with me for a minute, then walked back to Owen to pick him up and hold his hand. Cute, cute, cute!
Learning by osmosis. I don't think I've tried to teach Owen colors and shapes, but he knows them because I talk about them with Jude and Sam. What a great way to learn stuff.

Thank you to my older siblings for doing all these nice things for me.

Oldish Photos

2009-09-26T22:09:00.003-05:00

Ben finally downloaded pictures from his cell phone to my computer. There are equal parts cool pics of the boys and (to me) pointless pics from shows he's seen. How many fuzzy pictures of a stranger playing guitar do you need?

Rainy day on vacation

His pirate future is so bright...

Check out Jude's sunglasses. He almost always wears them like that.

Food Commentary

2009-09-24T15:14:00.002-05:00

Sam has been very enthusiastic about my cooking this week. On Monday night I made pancakes, one of his favorite meals. He left the table after dinner and came back a few minutes later announcing that he had a song to perform. He sang for me about how much he loves pancakes and thank you for making them. It was awesome.

Another night, I made a meal about which he is considerably more skeptical: sweet potato quesadillas. It's pretty kid-friendly -- grated sweet potatoes sauteed with onions, chili powder, oregano, cumin, salt & pepper, then baked inside tortillas with some cheese. Sam always thinks he will not like them, and then takes a bite and discovers he does like them. Before dinner, he was complaining about the menu and I told him about the conversion I'd witnessed with this meal in the past.

Dinnertime comes. Faced with a quesadilla, Sam takes one bite. He smiles. "I thought this was going to be yucky, then I took a bite and SURPRISE! Yummy!"

On Pet Ownership

2009-09-21T10:07:00.005-05:00

Sam has been talking quite a bit about wanting a pet. Most of the time he wants a dog, which we will never have because 1) I don't want any more bodily waste clean-up responsibilities than I already have and 2) Ben is allergic. I always cite reason #2 as the explanation for not getting a dog (sorry, Ben). Sam is a creative little person, and designed a plan to accommodate everyone's needs: "I know! When Dad is dead, then I will get a dog." I thought this was funny and kind of smart, but Ben was not so zen when Sam greeted him at the door with this idea.

On vacation Sam befriended a ladybug who like crawling on his hands and arms (above). He named it Sweetie. They bonded for a quite a while and Sam asked if he could keep it for a pet. I think we agreed, though we predicted the ladybug would die soon if we put it in a container for keeping. Sweetie is still living free on Lake Superior.

What They Say

2009-09-15T10:01:00.005-05:00

Jude has graduated to underwear and is doing a great job learning to use the bathroom. He is good at anticipating when he needs to go, and I told him I was very proud that he was doing such a good job listening to his body. He repeated this to Ben later: "I'm doing a good job listening to my bottom!"
We've entered a phase of enthusiastic knock-knock joke telling. None of the boys understands how to tell one that makes sense to a grown-up, but they do crack themselves up. The primary formula is "stinky" + any other word. The guaranteed successful punchline is "stinky eyeballs." Even Owen tells that one. At dinner, however, I do not allow use of the word stinky. It just doesn't go well with food. It's quite a challenge to come up with a different funny line. They will name everything on the table in an effort to come up with something funny: Knock, knock. Who's there? Juice. Juice who? Juice toast. And rice. In my cup. Ha ha!

Sam's First Day

2009-09-13T21:40:00.003-05:00

School started two weeks ago, and I think Sam is starting to warm up to it. A new teacher, being at school all day -- it's a lot of change for a little guy. Here he is on the first day, pulling Jude and Owen in the wagon. Sometimes he asks to ride in the wagon, but an incredulous "I don't think kindergarteners ride in wagons!" usually takes care of it. It's fun to see how proud he is to be big.

Adoption Nightmare

2009-09-11T15:48:00.004-05:00

Usually I strive for sweet and charming on this blog, but this essay by an adoptive mom who decided to terminate her son's adoption is heart-wrenching.

There was a time when I had nightmares about having to relinquish my children. I think I was identifying with the difficulty our sons' birthparents faced in making a decision that strikes me as both impossible and profoundly loving.

I am thankful that I have never been in the crisis that the author faced, but I can imagine it, it makes me furious, and I sympathize.

North Shore

2009-09-07T10:02:00.005-05:00

We had a great vacation with Ben's family at the end of August. We spent a week together on Lake Superior, just north of Duluth. These photos are from our day in Duluth, where we saw big ships and trains, which was very exciting. We got to see an Army Corps of Engineers crane adding boulders to the breakwater, and then the tugboats came out to push the crane-bearing-barge back through the canal. Owen was more interested in jumping off a small rock a few dozen times (above).

Dread Pirates Squires

2009-09-05T15:03:00.004-05:00

Pirate Jude (scary)

Pirate Jude (friendly)

Pirate Sam