An Angel of Mercy

tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25029319.post-1170993948318139382007-02-08T19:41:00.000-08:002007-02-08T20:05:48.330-08:00An Angel of Mercy<a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/x/blogger/1200/2608/640/214508/Cover%20An%20Angel%20of%20Mercy.jpg"><img style="CLEAR: all; FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/x/blogger/1200/2608/320/342654/Cover%20An%20Angel%20of%20Mercy.jpg" border="0" /></a> Have I completely sold out or what? It took me fifteen years to write this novel. Am I really willing to take a chance of 'corrupting' my baby by self publishing her? I've been told by a very good friend that I should press forward with the books and not to look back. Look back at what? A chance for validation? A chance for a larger audience? A chance for fortune or fame? You know what I want? I want my baby to be read. And I'd also like to pay off my mortgage. Why? Well, to have the book read means that I have not wasted all of these years that I have invested in her. To have her read means that she will have the opportunity to minister to souls that are hurting. And the mortgage? I'd like to see my husband retire before he works himself to death and my home is lovely and I'd like to stay here. I was fortunate to be born in an affluent nation, a spoiled nation. I know that there are children who are suffering and the poor will be with us always. Always. I want to be able to minister hope to the hopeless. Idealist? Yeah, that's me. Where did I get my education? Which one? I told a client one time that I didn't need her help with the dishes, that surely I had already earned a doctorate in doing dishes. I enjoyed sharing that line until a different client countered my cute little pun with, "Did you also earn a doctorate in doing counters, cause mine sure is a mess." And isn't that just how it is? Just when you think that you have mastered something someone comes along to show you quite plainly your inadequacies. Back to my question. Where did I get my education? And again, which one? I have had many educations. One as a small and defenseless child. One as a rebellious teenager. One as a lonely young mother and abused wife. One as a hopeless soul, sick in heart and mind. One as a new creation. One as a diligent student of the Word of God. One as a student in the school of social outcasts and churchery rejection. One as accepted in the beloved. One as a young mother. One as a seasoned adoptive mother. One as a rejected wife. One as a wife of a man of God. One as a mother of a disabled child. One as an educator of disabled children. One as a sister. A daughter. A grand-daughter. One as a High School Student. One as a High School dropout. One as a High School Graduate. I have taken out my shovel and I have dug up the church. Can I sell it to the CBA? Not hardly. I don't have the resources, the time or the education to jump through their many hoops. But how do I let go of one dream and dare to pursue another? I don't want to 'publicize myself.' I want to be like the young teen that I once was in my many educations and watch my lowly little cigarette that is touched to a blade of grass ignite a fire that cannot be quenched... (I only burned up a small field, but at the time it felt like I had set the world on fire.) I guess that's what I want: To set the world on fire. <a href='http://picasa.google.com/blogger/' target='ext'><img src='http://photos1.blogger.com/pbp.gif' alt='Posted by Picasa' style='border: 0px none ; padding: 0px; background: transparent none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: initial; -moz-background-origin: initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: initial;' align='middle' border='0' /></a> <div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/25029319-117099394831813938?l=joyfulnoizministries.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Miss Audreyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02262549839365542193noreply@blogger.com5