Michelle Boenig Avery

T minus 10

2008-01-09T00:11:00.001-08:00

ten days! we wait and wait...

our treaters.....

2007-10-31T22:29:00.000-07:00

Looking ever so cute our treaters left with the ever refreshing water to replenish their spirits.....ok we know we are SO LAME, ok brad is a little bit cooler... did I mention I was on hold with the bank? I was for 15 minutes, I had time invested I couldn't turn back, it was past the point of no return.

halloween 2007

2007-10-31T22:17:00.000-07:00

Avery Halloween all time low:Scenario: Bell rings, we have no candy, not because we are the best house on the block and we have been passing out the goods all night....rather we just got in from a very wholesome movie (it may have even been PG13) Oh did I mention our coolness continues, we only had water to offer, yes water! You read correctly, not the bottled type the filtered Brita type in a glass, thank god our treaters weren't tricksters.....because did we have it coming.

Makes mornings happy

2007-08-03T09:57:00.000-07:00

B our little EMO kitty

2007-03-06T15:13:00.001-08:00

THE YEAR IN PETS

2007-03-06T10:09:00.000-08:00

This is a Tribute to our lovely little furry friends some new, some old and some just temporary houseguests.

Max our foster IG, Max you little feisty old man!

Squeaker our little foster feral kitten

Spider he is "King Rat" if it so pleases him, the Big boss of our little furry friends

Ellie our newest addition, our little badass, Oh how we can not get engough out of the game el Chupakabrra

Dante our 9 year old Italian Greyhound we rescued for AZ, how we love your quirky style

and to B, who has become camera shy in rencent months, I guess that's what happens when you become a teenager (14), too cool to be part of the family, antisocial and is probably writing very bad EMO poerty out in the cat house as we speak.

Ode to Rachel Ray (a la Elizabeth Barrett Browning)

2007-03-02T14:32:00.001-08:00

How do I hate thee let me count the ways.
I hate thee for thy use of “Dee-lish”
For thy high waist-ed jeans with thy too tight shirt tucked in
I hate thee freely, for thy disingenuous preparation of the 30 minute meal
I shall but love thee better after thy death

A description of my own personal hell

2007-02-19T12:21:00.000-08:00

It starts with a beautiful sunny and breezy day here in Oakland, the first in a long time, the start of a weeklong break from work, trapped inside my cave of an office by IBM Via Voice. Someone please tell the name of the programmer or inventor of this exercise in frustration, so that I may wish on him or her their deserved misfortunes. Now I would rather be doing a million other things like; scrubbing the barnacles off Davy Jones body or writing out my will with my left hand in Hieroglyphics than reading into the microphone this: “I took a large room, far up Broadway, in a huge old building whose upper stories had been wholly, I said wholly, WHOOOLLY, Wwholly, for fuck sake! I said wholly dam it!” I guess Mark Twain is rolling in his grave right now, at least I am not the only one suffering.

MYSA SÄSONG

2007-02-08T20:37:00.000-08:00

As a frequent past time my husband and I like to follow arrows painted on the floor of Ikea that lead us like rats in a maze to a most "efficient" dinner of meatballs and gravy (Mmmm gravy). My husband being the vegetarian indulges in the kids meal Mac-n-cheese , where by one can feast for only a dollar drink included (a very strange Swedish economy, how do they do it?) . On one of last trips we purchased the MYSA SÄSONG comforter. Now I do not know what special deal the Swedes have with NASA, with the memory foam mattress and what have you, but this light weight super downy, soft comforter goes from cool to fucking inferno in less than 20mins, it must be secretly lined with the thermo-tiles for the space shuttle or those Mylar blankets they give to marathon runners. Now what you must understand is on any given day my body temperature is barely above that of someone recently deceased. So I know if I should ever be forced to flee my home and move to the frozen tundra where by I will be able to have only one possession I will be sure to thank Ikea for keeping my staring ass warm.

Mostly finished new work

2007-02-08T20:32:00.000-08:00

"remains" 18"X24" acrylic on canvas

top ten things that make the world a better place

2007-02-05T00:02:00.000-08:00

10. Honey roasted peanut butter from framer Joes (Joe you rock my world)
9. Smooth legs (mine, not his)
8. Jason's Swedish sleep system that I covet (apparently invented by NASA)
7. That bottle of petite Syrah last night
6. Excedrin (may or may not be related to that bottle of Syrah last night)
5. Vanilla lavender dryer sheets and it inventor (dear god I'd give my 1st born for this stuff)
4. The music of the supremely talented Andrew Bird
3. A bone-crushing hug from my niece Grace (if hulk Hogan ever comes out of retirement he better watch his back)
2. How crazy the puppies get when I come home
1. Brad ( his choice was trees and tortilla chips) I guess that’s why he is my number 1

When faced with such options

2007-02-01T17:16:00.000-08:00

Today I made an impromptu visit to my MD. Upon arriving at the doctor’s office, I realized that I forgot reading material. What you need understand is my doctors’ office reading either caters to the over achieving male whom may be experiencing a mid life crisis for reasons of his insanely boring hobbies. Or my poor doctor fell prey to Ed McMahon’s diabolical sweepstakes scam and was forced to buy endless copies of fishing, golf, and Fortune magazine. Just when I was about to give up hope, I spied a tattered copy of Ladies Home Journal resting on an equally worn Seventeen. When faced with the option of Sally Fields and tips to “Walk off extra weight” or the vapid preteen model and hot quizzes like “How to tell if he will drop you when he goes to college” I choose the most honest of the two…..Seventeen of course, at least it’s not trying to be “reading material” Besides who needs to be depressed by fashion tips from ladies in high waist jeans with their quick dinner tips it’s already sad enough to be spending your afternoon in a doctors office.

Feel the 80's

2007-02-01T13:16:00.000-08:00

Clearly "Children of the Corn" was modeled after my freaky Long Island Family....and yes this is me and my brother

Now with more food!

2007-01-30T09:17:00.000-08:00

Can my breakfast be bleaker than this?

Is it ever a good thing?

2007-01-29T09:15:00.000-08:00

This morning I received an anticipated letter. Perhaps you're thinking: it's about a long lost relative leaving me millions of dollars, or perhaps it's a secret love letter from Christian Bale (who knew).......NO NO NO! It's even better. A certain "Board" is Auditing all of it's "Courses" Which in Michelle language means: painful hours laboring to the point of blood shooting out my eyes.

Remember sharing is caring!

You looking at me?

2007-01-25T20:00:00.000-08:00

Cheers to my little bad-ass who likes to get shit-faced.

The word of the day

2007-01-25T19:07:00.000-08:00

COPROPHAGIA: Eating of one's feces. A common behavior in dogs and puppies. Unfortunately our new little puppy Ellie has adopted this not so lovable trait and has brought a whole new meaning to "shit-faced" into our home.

My money is on the Growlie

2007-01-24T08:42:00.000-08:00

In a cage match between the bear (seen in previous post) and the Growlie Who do you think will come out victorious?

Rowwerrr

2007-01-23T22:42:00.000-08:00

Answering some questions

2007-01-23T21:32:00.000-08:00

In random order.......

15. Would you rather be locked in a box for a month (assuming you have the necessities for life) with Paul Reubens (Pee-wee Herman) or Elton John?

I would have to go with Paul Reubens on this one, he has a dark side I find interesting, besides Elton John might get bored and eat me.

10. Would you rather have the ability to read minds, or have all the powers of Spiderman?

Hhmm this one is tricky, I would have to say Spiderman even though he is a bit of a sissy, I can't bare to know the unfiltered thoughts of those around me, plus reading minds never saved us from the evil Green Goblin.

5. Salt water taffy or carpentry?

I will have to go MacGyver on this one and choose the taffy for it's multipurpose applications (no need to explain)