kaleidoscopic mind..

after a long time.. >_<

2006-11-22T21:32:00.000-08:00

weeeeeeeeeeeeee.. nating..

wala lang.. emo mode..

2006-09-26T02:29:00.000-07:00

siguro mahirap tlga mag-isip.. gulo kc ng buhay koh.. anyweiz.. i talked to Jacob.. may point xa.. ndi koh na sasabihin d2 yun.. pero mas maganda kami na lang makakaalam.. kc it's too delicate and alam koh na maraming tao ang mag-misunderstand sa mga sasabihin koh.. parang kanta lang yan ng typecast - scars of a failing heart.. sobra tlga ang buhay.. ewan koh ba.. related tlga ang buhay koh sa kanta ng typecast.. i know na emo sila.. pero.. it's about my life and tlga sure hit sa akin lahat ng kanta.. lahat ng hardships koh.. lahat ng trials.. lahat ng part ng buhay koh.. parang nasa isang kanta nila.. anyweiz.. siguro ganun tlga ang life ng tao.. i have to accept and not deny..

lyf sux..

2006-09-25T03:51:00.000-07:00

too much in my mind i should say.. it really crumples you and make you think of many things that aren't relevant to somethings.. naahh... it just me.. and i know its just a phase and i really can go thru it.. or maybe.. forget bout it..

(tagalog mode na..)

knna.. away kami.. actually you would'nt call it a fight.. kc sa ym eh.. waaa.. anyweiz.. mejo na-bad trip.. kc masaket yung sinabi nya.. (aray masaket status).. masaket tlga.. and i really felt bad bout myself and thought bout many things.. consequences and some results in the past.. alam naman natin lahat na mas masaket ang isang bagay kung alam moh totoo at sapul tlga.. as in.. masaket tlga.. actually.. ayaw koh tlga sabihin sa knya na i was hurt sa mga sinabi nya.. kasi lam koh na totoo eh.. at alam koh it for my good.. ehh.. anyweiz.. i was quite happy na concern xa kahit papaano sakin and thankful din akoh kc.. it made me remind what's my purpose in school.. and what must i do to get there.. pero 1 thing yung uuberrr saket.. and.. ayaw koh na sabihin d2.. kc baka maliit na bagay lang yun.. pero.. small things do hurt sumtimes.. and habit kc tlga and its really hard to stop.. ewan koh.. sanay na kc akoh eh.. ewan... bad trip.. arrggghhhhh.. leche tlga ang lyf.. leche tlga.. ewan.. bsta.. bahala na si Judas!

stress.. and more stress. Y_Y

2006-08-17T04:51:00.000-07:00

its really been a stressful week.. not just for me.. but everybody i know in CCS.. well.. its the life we chose.. we chose to go to a course that ensures us of pure stress in life.. not just school works.. but also in friendship and many more emotion.. **actually emo na nga akoh dito sa netopia..**

stress related lahat ng ginagawa koh.. actually.. gagawin koh naman yung introdb namin kung ndi lang nasira yung pc koh.. Y_Y.. kung sino man yung nagkakalat ng virus sa lab.. paksh*t ka.. dami mong buhay na nasira.. langya.. not only dat.. 90% sure na bagsak na me sa compasm.. promise koh naman sa mom koh na ndi na akoh babagsak... Y_Y.. sure na ndi akoh makikita next term.. Y_Y.. feel koh nga.. ndi akoh para sa dlsu.. dapat pla ng uste na lang.. alam koh sure akoh dun.. maganda yung studies koh.. hindi sobra stress.. wala akoh paki sa crowd.. amp.. sure naman na i'll make something good out of it eh.. ewan koh ba.. feel koh.. my life is all about regrets.. problems that i don't learn for it.. i keep on doing it.. eventhough.. may promise.. labo.. ang hirap sobrang buhay CCS.. sabi nga ng isang batchmate sakin eh.. "CCS?? langya.. suicide yun.. Y_Y.."

feel koh lang.. dapat ndi na tlga me ng cs-cse.. Y_Y.. sakit sa ulo.. pano kung naging something else akoh.. dunno about it.. gulo kc ng buhay koh.. Y_Y.. parang kaleidoscope na.. maraming gustong gawin.. maraming plano.. ndi naman natutuloy.. i'm such a procrastinator.. i dont walk the talk.. Y_Y.. grabe.. gusto koh na lumipat ng ibang course.. pero xan?? xan??.. alam koh.. masaya akoh sa CCS.. ewan koh ba.. dahil siguro sa crowd.. kc i fit in.. or maybe.. dito tlga akoh masaya.. ewan koh ba..

no signs from up there.. Y_Y

back to rf.. lolz..

2006-08-10T04:44:00.000-07:00

recently.. i was playing rf again.. lolz.. and promise to myself.. dis not one of those characters that i didnt finish.. ^^.. luckily i found 2 pilots to help me.. LJ and Drew... the thing is that i have to make "LastHit" **the characters name.. ranger yan.. lolz.. idol namin si lowell eh..** lvl up to 30.. its really harsh work.. with all of those stupid raiders and all.. lolz.. ^^.. really having a hard time play it.. or maybe im just expecting to much for this one.. ^^.. dunno about it.. but 1 thing is for sure.. i have to do this because it is a statement... a statement to all that i can do it.. and i have patience and more patience.. lolz.. right now.. i have played more than31 hours on this characters and he's lvl 28.. ^^.. very impressing.. Y_Y.. anyweiz.. its quite fun having people behind you and supporting everything that you do... but i think.. it really up to me to do the hard work.. ^^..

anyweiz..

special mentioned!!
=> LJ.. pilot moh naman si LastHit.. lolx..

deathclock?? scaryy.... lolz..

2006-08-03T04:13:00.000-07:00

you have to check dis out.. now i will die at November 13, 2061 and i have exactly 1,744,390,374 seconds to live.. lolz.. quite creepy though.. ^^

http://www.deathclock.com/

its just me... dont worry..

2006-07-31T04:50:00.000-07:00

uhhmm.. i know u have already read my recent post.. which is titled "i had this day".. i'm really sorry about it.. coz.. i know is only me.. and i know that i shouldn't have done it.. i know im very stupid to think of that.. i know..i know.. its just only me.. and i want to say sorry.. for everything.. i that back what i have said to my previous post.. ^^

i just had this day.......

2006-07-27T05:07:00.000-07:00

well.. i really had a bad day.. it sucks so much i can even bear to think bout it.. coz there are 2 reasons.. relstwo and so kind of realization to me.. in relstwo.. sobrang na sabon akoh ng prof namin.. sobrang pahiya me.. ndi lang yun.. sobrang gatong pa.. at sobrang sakit ng feeling.. nasa harapan ka and u look stupid coz u dont know what are you talking bout.. you cant explain it coz u really didnt do it.. aw.. supot sobra.. to make things worst.. sure na ndi akoh exempted sa final exam.. great.. sobrang ganda news for me.. >.<..

2nd thing is na realize koh or na iisip koh ba na worth it pa ba kung tumuloy akoh sa akin courtship.. its to much a risk.. kc lam koh may mahal ka pang iba.. at ndi lang yun.. alam koh na wala kang gusto sakin.. at alam koh na rin na never ka magkakagusto sakin.. baka masaktan lang akoh masayado.. i dont wanna really open my heart kung masasaktan naman akoh.. yeah.. i know i can stand up easily but ndi rin noh.. i have to many hardships to carry.. some of those na-share koh na.. some of those i dont really wanna share anymore baka kc maawa ka sakin.. so never mind na lang.. btw.. i know na everything happends for a reason.. pero.. pano kung bullshit ang reasons na yun.. parang wala rin kwenta lahat.. alam koh.. i need to wait, understand everythings.. wag maging hassle sa trabaho moh.. and all that stuff.. pero.. i'm just human.. forgive me.. mejo nagtatampo akoh minsan.. kc i have emotions eh.. masakit sakin.. i think i have to let go.. kc wala naman akoh mapapala.. only sakit and much more emo times to have.. i just have a feeling it wont work.. kc you wont really love a guy lyk me.. and i know you deserve much better.. much better than me.. much more understanding.. maybe its not really worth it.. >.<.. wala lang.. nilabas koh lang sama ng loob koh.. ^^

is it real??

2006-07-26T04:44:00.000-07:00

having some doubt this day.. maybe because every single plan didnt go according to i want to.. maybe this is wat He wanted.. i'm really having some trouble on this life.. many problems that i have to face alone.. maybe.. its the way it has to be.. i cannot prevent it.. i didnt really expect that this will happen.. i have to face it.. even though i dont want it.. i sucks.. i really hate it when i come to the point that these things happen and will somehow come to me.. so maybe this is all happening for some reason.. the feeling is not very pleasing to me.. coz i have to understand everything that will happen or that has happened to me.. all of it.. i have to accept and believe that its for a reason.. even the reasons that i must understand is not there.. i cannot see what is ahead.. i hope that he guides me in everything that i will do.. ^^.. just hoping..

ang labo ng day koh.. Y_Y

2006-07-18T23:18:00.000-07:00

grabe.. umpisa pa lang ng araw.. bad trip na agad.. ndi naman akoh pumasok sa compasm and iniwan akoh ng groupmates koh pa sa mp.. >.<.. pero.. ok lang.. have to understand them.. and keep on understanding pa.. pero.. baka ndi koh na kayanin.. ewan koh.. bahala na sila.. (wala akong tampo sa inyo..^^).. ahahah.. bad trip din ang kalaban sa dod.. ang mga [yo].. puro yabang lang nanaman.. hangin sa netopia kahit mainit.. wakokok.. mga boi.. praktis muna kayo bago kayo mag-yabang.. ahahaha.. mga no match.. wakokoko.. anyweiz.. the day continues.. and as usual.. may dep ex sa compasm and suuberr sabaw naman akoh.. Y_Y.. bad 3p.. pag-asa na lang 6 mp's eh.. wakkokoko.. ewan ba.. ndi koh lang tlaga cya nauunderstand.. ndi kami connect.. its so freaking hirap.. and feel koh lang ah.. ndi koh xa mauuse sa professional track koh.. gayness.. buti pa mga upper batch.. wala compasm.. mas madali na version pa.. asmprog.. Y_Y.. feel koh we're guinea pigs.. Y_Y.. pero we must go on.. emo naman akoh knna.. wala kc akoh alam eh.. feel koh failed na.. pero got to fight back.. ndi akoh papayag na may bagsak.. pramiz koh kay erin wala eh.. ^^..

any normal day..

2006-07-18T05:15:00.000-07:00

wala lang.. nating really happen today.. sira aircon sa netopia.. wala matambayan.. cancelled nanaman yung game.. nothing new.. umuulan kc.. emo nanaman si edgar.. nothing new.. emo na rin si errol.. nothing new.. so its really a normal day for me.. usap with friends.. usap with groupmates.. usap with everybody.. BHD kanina... hayy.. never-ending battle between werewolves and vampires.. labo.. wala.. dis is really a normal day.. nothing special nor spectacular happened.. T_T

....

2006-07-13T19:07:00.000-07:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rZ1Y0S_94Jc
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wr3htClYD-Q
its rage against the machine..

him i've heard of.. and i miss him..

2006-07-13T01:48:00.000-07:00

him i've heard of.. tlga.. i miss him.. who am i talking about??.. its my dad.. i saw a picture.. kasama nya akoh.. nung bata pa akoh.. he's carrying me.. i feel a longing for him.. i really miss him.. though lam koh marami siyang pagkukulang sakin.. ok lang.. i already forgave him a long time ago.. its so past na tlga to me.. parang wala na yun sakin.. kasi until his last breath.. hinahanap parin nya yung "swe ha gi na" which is me.. touch akoh.. but i know he's always der.. looking after us.. parang bang he's with me.. protecting us.. so ok lang.. so dad.. namaste!!

does reality lie??

2006-07-12T02:12:00.000-07:00

click nyo yung "try it.." link koh.. nakakpraning yan..

...

2006-07-11T00:31:00.000-07:00

nothing really..

java time...

2006-07-09T22:07:00.000-07:00

ala lang.. d2 naman sa objectp lab.. wakokokoko..

pfffftttt >.<

2006-07-06T05:54:00.000-07:00

hayy.. ewan koh ba.. feel koh sobrang hirap na akoh sa situation namin.. cgro kc we hardly see each other anymore.. feel koh iniiwasan nya akoh.. pero feel koh naman na parang sinisiksik koh sarili koh sa knya.. parang ba.. epal akoh sa buhay nya.. tngn koh i made the wrong choice.. >.<.. pero.. tngn koh naman.. kailangan koh na gawin toh.. i dont wanna lose anymore.. hirap na yung tipong "ang bagal koh kc".. i dont wanna lose another chance.. pero.. feel koh tlga.. nahihirapan akoh.. dahil sa sked nya.. kc.. bc cya lagi.. wala cya tym sakin.. wala cyang oras makipag-usap.. pero.. who am i?? ndi naman kami.. wala pa akoh commitment sa isa't isa.. ndi wala pa nga yung oo nga dun sa tanong koh sa knya eh.. gulo tlga.. dapat kc.. ndi koh na ginawa ito.. i don't wanna lose the friendship we have.. but i don't wanna lose the chance of a serious and fulfilling relationship with her.. hayy.. torn between to side.. Y_Y

cool sobra!!

2006-07-05T04:55:00.000-07:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wy69aDoF36U

ei.. check it out.. its cool..

2006-07-04T05:13:00.000-07:00

http://play.clubpenguin.com/

istrangulation.. repost!

2006-07-02T22:12:00.000-07:00

dunno about dis day.. everything feels not right.. everything is out of plan.. dami sobra gagawin.. stress ang buhay ng cs-st.. stress pa dahil sa love life.. dami sobrang inisip.. dami sobrang pingasisihan.. dami sobrang dapat gawin.. the burden is mine.. feel koh nasakin ang "ring".. bigat sobra.. ang hirap buhatin ang responsabilidad.. hayy.. feel koh.. may decisions akoh ndi ginawa.. step-ups na ndi dapat tinuloy.. nagsisi na akoh.. pero wala na tayo magawa.. andyan na eh.. >.<

nasa netopia.. ^^

2006-06-27T02:55:00.000-07:00

walang magawa.. hehhehe.. nanood ng music video ng valley of chrome.... galing tlga nila.. bsta.. support pinoy akoh.. \m/..

check nyo na lang.. ^^

www.youtube.com/watch?v=qyeX5kyFeKM

pffffttt >.<..

2006-06-22T22:47:00.000-07:00

nasa g304a.. pffffttt >.<.. objectp lab.. wakokok.. tumatakas lang.. wala na akoh maiisip eh.. Y_Y.. objectp is hard.. waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

a tribute to my father.......

2006-06-16T06:32:00.000-07:00

hmm.. where to start??? uhhm.. my father.. i really didn't know him dat much.. he left us when i was about grade 2 mabye.. it was all fuzzy then.. many things happen then.. things that i didn't understand and never remembered.. probably mom let me forget those things because it is hard to bare.. there are many things that i really remembered about him.. or maybe.. wala na tlga me maalala sa knya.. wala naman kc kami bonding moments ng dad koh.. anyweiz.. tnx to mom.. kahit papano.. may nalaman akoh sa dad koh.. kahit papano.. i felt close to him.. i feel him.. i knew him.. kahit maliliit na bagay lang.. masaya na akoh..

can't really 4get the tym he was in the hospital.. i cant even look at him.. i felt in my heart.. like a thousand kilos in it.. sobrang bigat.. i pity him.. i remember one day that he was looking for me.. he cant really remember me.. coz i was still little then.. he was looking for the "little kid" which is me.. he didnt remember me.. but i know.. that he says sorry because he didnt share much time to me.. unlike to my other brothers and sisters.. i was the forsaken one to be exact.. but i didn't hold a grudge to my father.. i didnt feel angry to him dat he didnt give that much time and attention that the other kids.. that he left us for no reason.. anyweiz.. im just happy that he's up there.. i know that he is..

and lastly.. belated happy b-day to him.. ^_^

f*ck dat queue!!!

2006-06-01T05:00:00.000-07:00

damn dat queue sa mrt.. damn it.. sobrang daming tao.. minsan gusto koh na sumigaw ng "wrath of god" ggrrrr.. sobraaaaaaaaaaaanggggggg daming tao.. hayy... ang habang ng pila.. umaabot sa labas.. ang bagal ng mga ticket tellers.. aw.. >.<.. ka-bad trip.. malas nga talaga ang araw na ito yata.. hayyy.. sobrang kc dami pumapasok sa mind koh.. grrr.. bsta.. sikip kc sa mrt eh.. jupetsurero naman.. >.<..

da vinci code.. plus many more..

2006-06-01T04:52:00.000-07:00

ewan.. basta.. nood kami ng da vinci code nun first day.. ampff.. 1st day.. alis agad.. uwi nanaman ng gabi.. aw.. galit na naman c momster.. bsta.. gulo.. pero cool yung story.. but i didnt expect dat na ma-strengthen pa-belief koh.. for me.. its doesnt matter if Jesus had a wife or not.. He was sent here for reason.. to save us.. and for me.. to feel what is like to be mortal.. like humans.. like us.. He felt pain, love, pagod, takot at marami pa.. sobra.. and for me.. even He had a wife.. it doesnt change a thing.. i still believe in Him and what he has done for us.. and dats it.. nothing will change it.. nothing will shake it..

pero.. grabe parin yung uwi koh eh.. damn dat movie kc eh.. bat r-18.. dami pa2loy kam detours.. 6:00 pm kami arrive sa g4.. tapos ayaw pumayag yung guard.. labo.. ndi samin na niwala na 18+ na kami.. kasama naman namin c mark janda.. so.. lipat ng mall.. g2 daw.. aw.. 8:00pm yung start.. aw.. pero.. andun na kami eh.. bat ndi pa tapusin.. so nood kami till 11:00pm.. aga noh.. wakokoko ^_^.. sobrang gabi na..im so sleepy.. buti may taxi.. ^_^.. so taxi to gale.. den jeep na... arrived at home.. 12:00am.. awwww.. 2log na... zzzzzzzzzzzzzz