Rider Prophet

On This Day In Roughrider History: Cheaters Always Prosper

2009-11-03T20:09:00.001-06:00

The playoffs are just around the corner, so for today’s installment of “On This Day In Roughrider History” I though I would take a look back at some Roughrider playoff history.

Cheating is generally something we would expect from the likes of the BC Lions, Chinese gymnastics teams, French judges or a wife who is a dirty, dirty tramp. While the Riders were never as blatant cheaters as the others, they too have on occasion shall we say done things that may not be entirely on the level to win football games.

On this date back in 1956 the Saskatchewan Roughriders won the West-Semi final over the Winnipeg Blue Bombers because an astute Rider waterboy found Winnipeg’s playbook before the game and gave it to coach Frank Filchock.

Now there are 3 lessons to be learned from this piece of Rider lore. The first is that good things happen to those who cheat (write that down kids). The second is that people from Winnipeg are stupid. The third is that, much like movies have taught us, given the chance, a waterboy can single-handedly lead a football team to victory.

Monday Morning Sentimonies: Mailed It In

2009-11-02T18:54:00.000-06:00

Riders 6 – Ti-Cats 24

In retrospect there were many signs during Saturday’s game that this wasn’t going to be our day. One could point to the TSN turning point occurring very early in the first quarter when Durant fumbled the ball on a botched play action. One could point to the fact that that was just one of 3 turnovers Durant committed in his first 9 plays. One could point to Chris Jones being our offensive MVP and the focal point of our offense on those exciting 5 yards patterns (he even added a defensive tackle to boot). But for me the biggest sign was that across the board there was a huge lack of intensity and effort.

After spending the whole week assuring us their focus was on the Ti-Cats, I think we can now call BS because you can’t tell me that after turning in a performance like that that the Riders weren’t overlooking Hamilton and thinking about the Calgary game this week.

With the exception of Armstead, nobody seemed to have their heads the game. Durant seemed to celebrate Halloween by dressing up as Michael Bishop. The O-line joined in the spirit of the season by dressing up as bag boys… they were handing out sacks like their pay-check depended on it. The defense donned their BC Lions costumes and proceeded to make the very mediocre DeAndra Cobb look like an all-star RB. Even the usually reliable Rob Bagg appeared to dress up as Dylan Ching. There was just nothing positive about that performance. It was just plain ugly.

Speaking of ugly, this is of course the perfect segue into a discussion about the Hamilton cheerleaders. Now this group isn’t exactly the most attractive ensemble at the best of times but for some odd season they decided this week to step it up a notch and dress up as zombies. To be fair though while the attire and make-up somehow managed to make the group look worse, in a few cases it actually made a couple of them more attractive (you know, relatively speaking).

Other random thoughts on the game…
- Congi sure has a knack for finding the uprights on long FG attempts.

- Was it “Red Plastic Bag Day” at Ivor Wynne?! I mistook a floating bag as a penalty flag early in the game but it seemed that a new one would waft down the field every couple minutes.

- What ever happened to Neal Hughes?? Last year he put up 7 TDs and was a versatile weapon and an important part of our offense. This year he received his first and only offensive touch on Saturday. We’ve given multiple touches to Szarka so why not show Hughes some love?

- Yes I realize the irony in complaining that a FB other than Szarka is not getting the ball enough. Maybe Hughes just needs to run for city council.

It was a very disappointing performance but fortunately it ended up not mattering much in the grand scheme of things. With Calgary beating BC, we have clinched our 3^rd straight home playoff game. It comes down to this Saturday’s game against the Stamps to determine if it’s yet another West-Semi or the first West Final since 1976.

I am officially placing all first aid personnel at Mosaic Stadium on notice that I’m not sure my heart will be able to take the stress of that game and I will likely require medical attention at some point.

Riders vs. Hamilton

2009-10-29T17:25:00.000-06:00

Saturday the Riders (9-6-1) travel to Hamilton to take on the Ti-Cats (7-9) in a contest that is very important for both teams for different reasons. The Riders can clinch their 3^rd straight home-playoff game with a win, while the Ti-Cats need to win to stay in contention for a playoff spot (and possibly even a home playoff game).

Normally discussion about Hamilton involves heavy mockery of coach Marcel Bellefeuille but for awhile there it looked this year would be different (much to my dismay). After a brutal first game, the Bellefeuille-led Ti-Cats won 4 of their next 5 games and we’re essentially a lock for 2^nd place in the East. Bellefeuille was even being discussed as a potential Coach of the Year Candidate (again, much to my dismay). But just as things were finally looking up for the beleaguered Hamilton fans Marcel remembered just who he was and proceeded to resume coaching as effectively has he had done in his previous coaching stints in the league (i.e. terribly) en route to losing 7 of their next 9 games and ending up in a battle with the Bombers to even make the playoffs.

To be fair, unlike in the past, Bellefeuille only made 1 mistake this time… problem is it was a pretty big mistake. I’m talking of course about Quinton Porter. Anyone who has watched him play this season can tell that he’s played terribly. Anyone that is, but Marcel. Despite Porter’s repeated turnovers, microscopic offensive production and being responsible for 2 of the abysmal Argos’ 3 wins, Marcel inexplicably decided to stick with him. Kevin Glenn must be wondering why Marcel hates him so much. When they were both in Regina, Glenn was kept on the sidelines in favour of Nealon Greene, and now in Hamilton he was benched again in favour of someone who can only dream of playing like Nealon. Simply put, if Bellefeuille had been smart enough to name Glenn as the starter sooner, the Ti-Cats would have clinched a home-playoff game. Then again, smart is not a word generally associated with Bellefeuille’s coaching (the preferred words tend to be laughingstock, brutal, ineffective and failed shot-gun draw on 2^nd and long).

Onto the game…

While much hype has been generated over rookie RB DeAndra Cobb, I happen to think he’s insanely overrated. If you take away his 2 monster games against BC (because let’s face it, other than us everyone runs over BC’s terrible run D), he is averaging only 55 yds/game and has only 2 rushing TDs. Tell me why that is so exciting? A mediocre RB and non-mobile QB mean that the run is not a huge concern for the Riders this week.

There is only one thing to fear about the Hamilton offense and that is Arland Bruce. He is the focal point of their passing attack and a threat to score on every play. If you can control him you’re only left with feared names such as Dave Stala, Drisan James and the scoring machine known as Corey Grant. Problem is controlling Bruce is a difficult task at the best of times… let alone when your most experienced HB is injured.

By now I’m sure you’ve heard that Eddie Davis will have to undergo surgery after suffering a torn meniscus is his knee in the 1^st quarter of last game and is out for the foreseeable future. That is a big blow to the team heading down the stretch. The good news, at least, is that Lance Frazier should be back on the field this week. Chris McKenzie looked alright for his first start so I’m hoping that with Frazier back and a full week of practice for McKenzie that we won’t allow another 300 yards through the air.

The keys to the game are fairly simple. Defensively we need to stop Bruce. The Ti-Cat O-line has given up the 3^rd most sacks so we need to take advantage of that to disrupt Glenn’s passes. Even with Bruce, the Ti-Cats are still among the lowest scoring teams in the league, so if Frazier, McKenzie and the rest of the secondary can step up it will make for a rough night for Glenn (expect Chick and Baggs to add to their sack totals).

Offensively, the key will be ball control. Durant has proven he can put up points so as long as he keeps the ball out of the defenders hands I see another good game for him. The Ti-Cats don’t allow a lot of points but they can be exploited with an aggressive yet balanced attack.

The Riders seem to be hitting their stride at the right time of the season. With a chance to clinch a home playoff game for the 3^rd year in a row I expect the Riders to come out strong.

Riders by an Andy Fantuz TD in a close game.

One last note…

It seems that former Rider Kennedy Nkeyasen has gotten himself in some trouble. He allegedly broke into his ex-girlfriends house and beat up her new boyfriend. Poor guy… whether its covering people on the football field or satisfying women it seems there is always someone who is better qualified than Nkeyasen.

Monday Morning Sentimonies: Overtime Again

2009-10-26T13:13:00.002-06:00

Riders 33 – Lions 30

16 games into the season, the decision to play James Patrick at safety finally paid off. Hazah!

I won’t lie, following the Durant pick 6, I wasn’t very optimistic about our chances (fortunately I wasn’t dumb enough to leave the stadium and miss another amazing finish). Even in OT, the Lions seemed to be moving the ball at will and it looked like they were poised to score a game winning TD. Then along comes James Patrick to snag the game winning interception. To be fair I will give the assist to Omarr Morgan on that one as he managed to get away with a level of contact on Geroy Simon that would generally require a home pregnancy test the next morning.

The way the finish unfolded, I think it’s safe to say that no less than 5 years of my life expectancy were lost. I can take excitement, I can take disappointment and I can take anger but it’s the quick back and forths that are killing me. Its times like that when I wonder how Wally Buono manages. What with his cholesterol issues and all.

If there was ever a worse game to lose both our start HBs this was it. Facing the top slotback combination in the league and seeing Chris McKenzie having to get the start for Lance Frazier (who was hospitalized with severe dehydration due to the flu) was somewhat concerning. Then seeing Eddie Davis get hurt leaving us with McKenzie and Tad Kornegay as the guys tasked to keep them in check was scary to say the least. It predictably led to a big game for Simon but all things considered it could have gone a lot worse (though it appeared that any 2^nd and long situation was an automatic BC first down).

It didn’t help that we were facing a QB with an amazing ability to escape pressure and throw on the run (which I warned would be dangerous). I knew before the game that Printer’s was by far BC’s best QB (even if the others were healthy) and he went out and proved it. While that game losing INT was classic Printers circa 2007, the rest of the game was more Printers circa 2004 – mobile, elusive and strong armed. BC is a better team with him under centre heading down the stretch. I wonder if he gave himself one of his famous motivational speeches before the game.

Much like my heart rate, Durant seemed to bounce up and down, flat line and eventually recover. There were times when the offense was frustratingly ineffective but when it mattered most Durant did not disappoint. He seems to be able to drive for a game tying TD and 2 poitn covert at will (now if he could just learn to do this before the 4^th quarter we’d be set). Unlike last year when our QB was our biggest liability heading into the playoffs, this year it appears to be one of our strengths. I have been saying Rob Bagg is a monster for a while now and hopefully you have now joined me as proud Bagg supporters.

Man that Sudoku kid can kick! I will definitely miss the Juggernaut but Sakoda seems to be a more than capable replacement as he was booming those kickoffs. Now I just need to see him punt. If the hype on this kid is accurate (and we all know that’s always the case), he should be able to hit City Hall… with his left foot… blind folded… into the wind… while making pancakes. It appears as though Luca Congi has decided to take over as our overly aggressive kicker in Boreham’s absence as evidenced but the hit he threw on the first return. That last FG attempt in the 4^th was a heart breaker; he had the leg but was just inches too far left. Despite his 2 misses, I’m still confident in his abilities to hit the clutch kicks come playoff time… provided he grows a dirty playoff moustache.

Armstead turned in another fine performance and it feels as though it’s only a matter of time before he finds the endzone. To be fair the refs blatantly missed an illegal block call on the one long return… but that was definitely a make-up call as they also missed a blatant illegal block on BC on the previous kick which led to a long return. Still Armstead has managed to turn a return game where maintaining possession and not losing yards was considered a massive victory to one were we are now expecting good returns every time.

I would also like to give props to our O-line. BC leads the CFL in sacks and had managed 11 sacks in our previous 3 meetings but the hoggies came to play and did not allow a sack. Even the run game was half decent… which is a monumental increase over the normal ineffective we’ve come to expect when we face BC.

It wasn’t pretty but we certainly got our money’s worth and for once the Riders are managing not to choke with 1^st place on the line. For now I will focus on resting my heart because I have a feeling that the November 7^th game against the Stampeders with 1^st place on the line will take its toll on the old ticker.

Riders vs. BC: Here We Go Again

2009-10-23T17:06:00.000-06:00

Saturday the Riders (8-6-1) take on the Lions (8-7) in front of a sell-out crowd at Mosaic Stadium. This will be their 4th and final meeting of the year with the home team taking each of the previous games. Hopefully that’s a good omen because I’m not sure my body can handle too many more Post-BC Loss Rage-Filled Evenings (also the Humane Society is none too impressed at my tendency for punching small animals when I’m in said state).

BC comes into this game on a 3 game win streak and look to be finally hitting their stride after struggling out of the gates. Travis Lulay was the hero last week for the Lions. Unfortunately he seems to have taken Buono’s request to step up and play like a starter a bit too literally and has already suffered a shoulder injury like all of his predecessors. That’s the thing about BC QBs, they are either white, talented and ridiculously injury prone or black, dumb as bricks and almost as injury prone. Which is a fantastic segue to Casey Printers…

After spending the bulk of this season promoting himself as a motivational speaker (and by that I mean sitting at home waiting for the phone to ring), Printers will return to the starter’s role in BC for the first time since 2005. The big question is of course which Printers will we see? The 2004 version that was named league MOP or the 2008 version that closely contested Michael Bishop for most embarrassing QB in the league. Personally I’m expecting something somewhere in the middle but closer to the embarrassing side than the MOP side (seriously he was cut in favour of Quinton Porter… that should tell you something). Besides as Rider/Lion history will dictate, we should be more worried about the unknown 3rd stringer than the starter. We’ve made household names out of Printers and Pierce so consider me officially more worried about a breakout performance by Zac Champion than Printers. This is an offense that is #1 in the league in giveaways and has given up the most sacks of any western team. Simon and Jackson are a dangerous combo but only on those rare times when the QB manages to avoid the sack and throw to the correct coloured jersey.

The bigger concern going into this game is Mallett (and to a lesser extent Harris). With a rapidly depleting stable of QBs, you know that BC will try to rely on the run… and Mallett is very capable of chewing up big yards. This is concerning because we’re still not that great at stopping the run. Also, an effective run game will set up play action and I think that’s Printers’ only chance at being dangerous. Also playing into my concern is word that Kitwana Jones will spend some time at DT. We all know I’m a big Kitwana fan but it’s extremely concerning to think that against a strong running team it might be up to him to plug things up in the middle. That’s kinda like hiring a bunch of fine arts majors to serve as your muscle for your loan sharking operation (What are they going to do? Choke someone with their designer scarves?).

For the Riders I’m not quite sure what to expect. Three weeks ago against BC, the defense played like champions but the offense pooped the bed. Last week, the offense turned in their best performance of the season but the defense couldn’t hold up. If they could ever synchronize their strong play we might actually come away with wins on a consistent basis.

Every time we play I mention that BC has the absolute worst run defense in the CFL and every time the Riders seem to go out of their way to disprove my claim. So this week I won’t even bother. I’m just going to go ahead and assume that our running game will be unimaginative and ineffective and hope that Durant can win us the game through the air.

Offensively the key will be to eliminate turnovers. If Darian can play as well as he did last week I see us putting up a lot of points. Defensively the key will be to stop the run and force Printers to beat us through the air… mainly because that is about as likely as a Jackson 5 reunion tour… too soon?

We’ve blown 2 BC games that we should have won, so I figure this time we finally get our act together in front of the home crowd. Let’s hope for a storybook ending where a Paul McCallum shank leads to a Clermont TD.

Riders by 7

Monday Morning Sentimonies: A Tie?!

2009-10-19T20:39:00.001-06:00

Riders 44 – Stamps 44

My poor heart. I already live a lifestyle that is not conducive to longevity but these crazy Rider games that go down to the wire are quickly erasing any remote chance I may have had to live ling enough to start enjoying the senior’s discount. Saturday’s thrilling double OT game was definitely worth the 8 hour drive… even though it ended in a tie. They say tying is like kissing your sister… which would explain why a tie is considered a great accomplishment in the province of Manitoba.

Here are my thoughts on the game:

- Though I must give credit to the residents of Calgary for correctly guessing my costume as Moses (not Santa, Jesus or Rosie O’Donell as I have been mistaken for before), I was somewhat concerned at the number of men that asked me what I was wearing beneath my robe. Guess I shouldn’t expect any different in the town responsible for the homoerotic bobsled celebration.

- The Riders started off very shaky. They were taking multiple offsides on both sides of the ball and didn’t really seem to have their head in the game. Fortunately they got their act together in the 2^nd quarter and started making a game of it.

- Durant stepped up big time and played one of the best games of his career. Big yards, spread the ball around, came through under pressure and most importantly 0 turnovers.

- Luca Congi did a great job on punts and kickoffs. After being called out by the Rider Prophet, Congi responded by proving that given that chance he can be a superior kicker to an unemployed RB, back-up DB and an aged WR. He stepped up big time when we needed him and justified the coach’s decision to stick with him.

- Can we now label our offense “The Great White Hype”? After Walker went down to injury, we were fielding an all white O-line, all white receivers (at times all Canadian) and Foord and Szarka were regulars on the field... leaving Durant as the token black man on our offense.

- Clermont’s still got game and Johnny Quinn has good hands.

- That roughing call on Chick was absolute BS plain and simple!!

- That said if our defense had managed to stop the run once or twice during the game that ridiculous call would not have screwed us over. Reynolds ran the ball at will including 3 TDs so to say that call cost us the game is only part of the picture. No excuse for not winning when your offense puts up 44 points. Defense has to take responsibility for continually letting Calgary drive on them.

- Part of our run stopping problem had to do with Etch’s messed up formations. Numerous times I saw the front 4 line up normally only to have Shologan move out and line up outside of Stevie Baggs. Not surprisingly, Reynolds would often run at the spot vacated by Shologan.

All in all it was an exciting game between to of the top teams in the CFL and the Riders showed a ton of resiliency. With the exception of the overwhelming smell of feces for part of the game, it was an enjoyable road trip for the Rider Prophet crew. This Saturday’s game is just as big so hopefully the Riders can it up.

One last note... I think we should sign this guy as a special teams player

Riders vs. Calgary: HEEENNNNRRRYYYYY!

2009-10-15T14:28:00.000-06:00

Its time for the annual Rider Prophet Team road trip. This weekend Man in the Bush, Media Consultant and myself will be hitting the road to go see the Riders take on the Stampeders in a first place showdown. Normally a good boss would reward his employees’ hard work by covering their expenses. That will definitely not be happening in this case for a number of reasons. #1 – I am not, nor have I ever pretended to be, a good boss. I tend to subscribe to the sweatshop style of management. #2 – my employees don’t work hard. I would be better off replacing Media Consultant with a monkey (and believe me I’ve tried, unfortunately it truly is the blurst of times) and Man In the Bush’s only tangible contribution to this site of late has been being the punch line for my jokes. #3 – This blog currently lags behind buskers, dumpster divers and sweatshop employees in terms of yearly income. But being the generous boss that I am, I will not leave my employees empty handed. They will be offered first choice of items to pilfer from our hotel room. Choose wisely my friends.

Onto the game…

Last time the Riders played in Calgary I had an ominous feeling that we were going to lose… mainly because Calgary looked to be the better team. This time around I have that same ominous feeling but for a very different reason. I’m convinced we have enough talent on this team to go head to head with the Stamps, the problem is our propensity for choking. For as long as I’ve been following the Riders headlines such as “Riders Have Chance At 1^st” and “Riders Control Their Own Destiny” tend to be followed up by headlines such as “Riders Blow It Again”, “Riders Come Up Short” and “Michael Bishop Is A Giant Piece Of Dog Feces”. We always seem to come up short when we get a chance at first place.

The Stamps come into this game reeling from 4 straight lacklustre performances, though there’s no real reason why they should be sucking. Their defense is second best in the league in points allowed and third best in total yards. Their offense has scored the 3^rd most points, has allowed the 2^nd least giveaways and sacks and features the top running game in the CFL. How can you explain their struggles despite this embarrassment of riches? Two words… Henry Burris.

He has three former 1000 yard receivers to throw to, the best RB in the league to take the pressure off, a solid O-line to protect him, a defense that can keep games close and is blessed with 3 of the top offensive coaches in the league… yet he still manages to suck. Good Ol’ Hank, nobody can choke quite like him. In his past 4 games he has only 1 TD and 4 INTs while struggling to complete 50% of his passes. Actually that 4 game span coincides with when Ryan Thelwell went down to injury. Who knew he was the key to this offense?

The problem is you just know Burris is capable of breaking out of this funk at any time. With him struggling, the key to beating the Stamps will be to eliminate Reynolds. If we force Burris to try and win the game by himself by beating us through the air you just know he will self destruct and serve up the patented Burris turnover trifecta. I’m confident in our secondary’s ability to cover the Stamps receivers so it’s up to our front 7 to stop the run and just as important, keep Burris contained in the pocket and knock him on his ass.

Offensively, we need consistent production. We are the #2 scoring offense in the league (and have the most TDs) so we know we are able to put up points… we just need to do it consistently (cough… 3^rd quarter… cough). The Stamps corners are above all else ball hawks, douche bags and overrated as well, but ball hawks nonetheless. Durant needs to make smart passes and exploit the corners with pump fakes and double moves. Strong running by Wes Cates was a key to victory last time around and we will need another strong performance to help keep Burris on the bench crying about his most recent INT. As always, win the battle in the trenches, win the game.

One area that does concern me is special teams. While it seems that our return game is finally kicking into high gear, we will unfortunately have to endure Luca Congi’s punts and kickoffs on the other side of things. Just so you're fully aware of how bad Luca is when it comes to kickoffs, he is currently dead last in the league in that department and has thus far been bested by the following “kicking sensations”: BC backup DB Tad Crawford, Hamilton receiver Dave Stala and currently unemployed RB Jarrett Payton. Hopefully Luca will step up his game a bit because if not that could put immense pressure on the cover team and defense.

Calgary will come out strong and if I were a betting man (which I most certainly am) I’d say Nik Lewis will reach the endzone for the first time this year. However, I think the Riders’ resiliency will shine through in the end and Rob Bagg will be the hero as he fills in for Weston Dressler.

Riders by 3 in yet another game that takes years off my life expectancy due to immense stress.

In other news…

Huge news is breaking today that Andy Fantuz has agreed to a contract extension with the Riders. We are still awaiting official confirmation but this absolutely awesome news!

There are some new faces appearing at practice this week. DE Willie Evans was added to the practice roster. The Riders also traded a 5^th round pick in 2010 and conditional 2011 pick to Toronto for OL Cliff Washburn. More importantly they brought in a pair of kickers to hopefully help out with punting and kick offs. First was Ryan Elaschuk of Edmonton Wildcats fame (well okay, fame is probably not the right word) and second was Louie Sakoda of Utah Utes fame (and in this case fame is an accurate word since he was one of the top kickers in the NCAA last year). We actually acquired Sakoda’s negotiation rights from Winnipeg in exchange for the neg rights to QB DJ Shockley. Hopefully one of these 2 can get up to speed quickly because our only other option is to teach a horse to kick and that is apparently against the rules anyway.

Monday Morning Sentimonies: Belated Liberty Bird Weekend Edition

2009-10-13T17:32:00.002-06:00

Riders 32 – Argos 22 (Exactly as I predicted for the record)

Despite the fact that I was way warmer and paying far less for booze (well at least per beverage. I’m pretty sure when it comes to total expenditures on the night I still somehow managed to surpass you all), I’m still very jealous of those of you who actually got to go to the game. Don’t get me wrong weddings, are fun but there’s just nothing quite like game day.

Anywho, here’s some random observations after watching the replay of the game:

- Holy return game Batman! It has been so long since I’ve seen the Riders consistently get good returns that I was starting to assume that it would never happen.

- Those gains in field position were even more important given that Luca Congi wasn’t gaining us much position on his punting and kick-off attempts. Attempts is actually a good way of describing them since they definitely weren’t successes. I love Luca but he punting and kick-offs definitely aren’t his forte.

- Darian played an unspectacular yet effective game. Ran well, controlled the ball and found the endzone repeatedly. No surprise that those 3 things led to a victory.

- In the spirit of the early winter season we’re enduring, the Riders were visited by 3 ghosts on Saturday. The ghost of failed 3^rd quarters past, the ghost of presently can’t stop the run and the ghost of future 9 game injured list occupants with broken legs.

- Seriously, anyone but Dressler!

- Did I seriously see Antonio Hall field a kick-off return?? … upon further review, yes, yes I did.

- Pass defense was good with the exception of all those pass interference calls. Aside from penalties never being a good thing, I’m really not sure why our DBs felt the need to interfere with Toronto’s receivers. That’s like buying an expensive dinner for a hooker... you know they are just going to end up sucking so why go through the trouble.

- How do you end up be left with a choice between someone who just got concussed and someone who just tore their oblique as your only option at QB?

- And how do you end up opting for the concussed guy?

We might not have finished the game as strong as we should have but at the end of the day we won when we should have so you gotta be happy with that. Next up is a first place battle in Calgary. And you know what that means... ROAD TRIP!

Riders vs. Argos: Send My Regards

2009-10-09T17:22:00.000-06:00

Saturday the Riders (7-6) take on the Argos (3-10) at Mosaic Stadium. The timing of the game is just further example that the schedule makers are just trying to piss off the fans. After enduring afternoon games in the scorching summer heat, those geniuses now offer us up evening games in the chilling cold of winter. Maybe it’s just a conspiracy by the league to drive up sales of team blankets, jackets, and toques.

Unfortunately the Rider Prophet will be unable to attend Saturday’s frigid affair because I have to attend a wedding. Believe me I am none too impressed. Given that the bride and groom are both from Saskatchewan, they should have known better. In the hopes of preventing others from encountering this unfortunate wedding inconvenience, I have developed 3 guidelines for scheduling weddings in Saskatchewan that I feel should be enacted into law:

1 – Every attempt should be made to schedule the wedding between December and June. The first 2 Saturdays in September are also acceptable.
2 – Failing #1, two tentative dates for the wedding should be scheduled. That way if the first date happens to conflict with a Rider game, a quick switch to the second option can be made.
3 – Don’t get married. Seriously… poor life decision.

Bold prediction for Saturday… Prophet spends excessive amounts at the toonie bar and ends up offending at least one member of the bridal party’s family.

Anywho, given that most of you will actually be able to attend/watch this one I suppose I should at least make an attempt to break down the game.

Toronto is terrible, there’s just no way of putting it lightly. Personally I’m shocked that a head coach with zero CFL experience who hired a coaching staff also with zero CFL experience is failing so miserably. It seemed like such a great idea at the time. Under the direction of Count Andrus-ula, the Argos offense has been atrocious. Here’s a list of reason why the Argos offense does not scare me…
- they are last in points scored
- they are last in rushing and second last in passing
- their top receiver is a guy they signed partway through the season and he wouldn’t crack the top 3 on most other teams. Their #2 receiver is the running back
- close to half of their entire offensive output comes from Jamal Robertson
- they have the worst giveaway-takeaway ratio at -16
- the only thing they lead the league in is sacks allowed and penalties.
- they can’t decide which of their QBs is crappier at this point
- their head coach is most likely a vampire only instead of saying “I want to suck your blood” he tends to drop the last 2 words.

That list is by no means exhaustive.

Defensively they actually aren’t all that bad. They have allowed the 2^nd least yards and have the #2 best run D in the league. They have a pretty solid front 7. While they are good at playing defense they are even better at taking dumb penalties. Couple that with a weak secondary and an offense that couldn’t sustain a drive if their life depended on it and you can see why the Argos have given up more points than any other eastern team. Though if you ask the Argos defensive coaches (who like Andrus) are new to the CFL, their struggles on defense are due to their inability to force their opponents into 4^th down situations.

The Riders will be without the services of Jamie “The Juggernaut” Boreham who suffered a neck injury while turning Grice-Mullen into a human carousel. So for the foreseeable future Luca Congi will handle all the kicking duties. Congi is a decent enough punter but hopefully he’s improved his kick-off skills since the last time I saw him because otherwise we might as well just go for the onside kick every time since his actual kick offs historically haven’t gone much farther.

The keys to the game are fairly simple. On defense, shut down Robertson. There is no way that the Argos will beat us through the air. We also need to take advantage of a weak O-line and repeatedly hit whichever QB they decide to serve up. Offensively we just need to control the ball. A couple big defensive plays from the Argos could swing momentum to their side. If we can just control the ball and sustain drives our defense should be able to easily keep them out of the endzone.

Toronto will fight hard and it won’t be the blow out many are predicting but in the end even if we turn in a mediocre performance it will be more than enough to defeat the lowly Argos who have yet to beat a western team this season.

Riders by 10

Around the CFL…

The Riders are taking advantage of the expanded practice roster to take a look at a couple prospects who have been cut by NFL teams. RB Marcus Thigpen, DT Vaalyn Jackson and WR Jeremy Gilchrist (who was supposed to be here for training camp but had passport issues) arrived in town this week. Sadly, the additional players on the practice roster came at the expense of another player. Justin Beaver was released to make room for the new trio. When asked about the move, Rider staff said the decision was not an easy one but in the end it was in everyone’s best interest to trim Beaver from the roster. Personally, I don’t think it’s that hard of a decision. Cutting Beaver is always a good decision… much like cutting Bush was.

In Winnipeg, my old friend James Johnson had his season ended when he was placed on the 9 game injured list. While I’d prefer to be able to watch him join Michael Bishop in embarrassing himself for my viewing pleasure, I guess you can’t always get what you want. JJ kind of had a rough go in Winnipeg this season though. When he arrived he was determined to be the second best J Johnson at on the corner and saw Jovon take the starters role. Then they put him on kick returns but before long he was yet again the second best J Johnson at that spot and had Jovon take that role away from him. I think the only suitable ending for this story would be if Jovon suffered a season ending injury and ended up rendering James as the least talented J Johnson on the 9-game.

Lastly, does anyone else find the parallels between BC and Winnipeg amusing. In BC, Buono told Paul McCallum that he was old, crappy, had no place on the team and should pursue a trade. A few days later Buono abruptly changed his tune when he realized Sean Whyte was terrible and offered McCallum his spot back. In Winnipeg, Kelly told Barrin Simpson that he was old, crappy, had no place on the team and should pursue a trade. A few weeks later Kelly abruptly changed his tune when he realized Joe Loebendahn was injured and offered Simpson his spot back. Personally I hope both these players are still pissed off at their respective head coaches and look to screw them over. Just imagine McCallum lining up for a game winning FG, intentionally shanking it and flipping off Wally as he walks off the field and into retirement. Or Simpson squaring up for a tackle that would prevent a game winning TD by the opposition then suddenly turning around and spearing Mike Kelly through the trainer’s table instead. Maybe I just watched too much wrestling a kid.

Monday Morning Sentimonies: Friday Night Failure

2009-10-05T19:13:00.000-06:00

Riders 16 – Lions 19

Today’s letters of the day are the letter F and the letter U. And I would like to dedicate these letters to the Riders’ offense. Generally speaking, when your defense comes up with multiple goal line stands and holds your opponents to 13 points heading into the 4^th quarter you should have a pretty good chance of winning the game. That is unless your offense decides to give them about as much support as a dead beat dad.

BC has the worst run defense in the CFL. They made a star out of DeAndra Cobb. They allowed Fred Reid to break a record. They have allowed an average of 147 yards rushing per game. Everyone seems to run over them at will… everyone, that is, but us. There is no excuse for only managing 44 rushing yards against a team that consistently gives up over triple that amount. That’s like managing to only get to second base with someone that’s been rufied. Part of the failure has to do with Wes Cates running like he’s auditioning for the ballet and part of it has to do with extremely unimaginative play calling. The run up the middle for a 1 yard gain didn’t work the first 10 times, what made you think it would magically start working if you kept trying it?

While I was happy to see the offense finally do something late in the 4^th it was a matter of too little too late. Football games have 4 quarters and you won’t win too many when you only put in effort in one of those quarters. Especially when you consistently serve up INTs… yeah I’m looking in your direction Durant. As much as I like Durant it’s getting harder and harder to support a guy who leads the league in INTs. Michael Bishop was regularly insulted in this space last season for his propensity (big word for a Monday) for throwing picks, and somehow Durant is managing to throw more than his retarded predecessor. 18 picks over 13 games is completely unacceptable. Learn to control the ball or learn to hold a clipboard.

It’s a shame that a very gutsy effort by the defense had to go to waste. By no means am I saying that the defense was perfect (they did allow a heavily concussed Buck Pierce to throw for over 300 yds on them) but they allowed only 1 TD and gave the offense every opportunity to take control of the game. If stuffing our opponents repeatedly from the 1 yard line doesn’t fire up your offense I guess nothing will. They missed tackles and seemed to have no answer for Simon and Jackson but at the end of the day they did their best to keep the Lions out of the endzone so I give them full credit for a game well played.

I still can’t believe that Buck Pierce was still able to stand at the end of that game. He was battered and tossed around about as bad as Kimbo Slice but still somehow stayed in the game. He’s dumber than this guy but I’ll give him credit for being tough.

The loss is by no means apocalyptic (despite what my alcohol fuelled ranting on Friday night may have indicated), but I’d be lying if I said I’m not somewhat concerned about the trend that is forming. We are currently in 2^nd place ahead of Edmonton and BC. Problem being so far this season we have a losing record (1-2) against both teams. Not exactly the most comforting thing at this point.

Bottom line the Riders have yet to show the ability to consistently play at a high level. Hopefully we use the upcoming Argo game as rebound game.

Random thought of the day….

The NFL season is only 16 games long yet they do not require tie breaker games… Baseball’s season is 483 games long but still somehow needs an additional tie breaker game to decide things. How ridiculous is it that?

Riders vs. Lions: Cloudy With 60% Chance of Death

2009-10-01T18:00:00.000-06:00

It was just 2 months ago that a Rider team fresh off a narrow victory over a western opponent travelled to BC to face a Lions team fresh off a disappointing loss, on Friday Night Football. With any luck the parallels with our last game against BC will stop there because I’d rather not have to endure another disappointing loss and league issued apology for a blown call. Actually if you look back on Rider history, there’s a surprising number of situations that lead to a disappointing loss and league issued apology. But I digress.

The Lions are probably also hoping that history will not repeat itself. Over the past few years it has been pretty much a certainty that the Lions lose a QB to concussion during the course of a game with the Riders. That doesn’t bode well for Buck Pierce. He already has 5 concussions in the past 11 months and the way he’s been playing, a 6th can’t be far behind. Nor can death. I mean seriously, that many head injuries in a lifetime would be concerning but cram them into a one year period and there can’t be much functioning brain left amid all the mush that surrounds it.

Though you gotta give credit to Wally Buono for breaking the all-time win record, I am getting really tired about how every reference to Buono is prefaced by “The CFL’s All-time Winningest Coach”. You can stop now, we get it. You don’t see every reference to Noel Prefontaine prefaced by “CFL’s All Time Leader in Punting Average” (didn’t know that did you?) or Diamond Ferri prefaced by “CFL’s All-time Most Effeminate Name”.

Only 3 Lions players worry me heading into this game. 1) Martell Mallet – he’s the league’s #2 rusher and was a big factor in the last game. 2) Ryan Grice-Mullen – he may not be much of a receiver but since taking over the kick return duties he has looked very dangerous. 3) Ricky Foley – BC leads the league in sacks and he’s the driving force. Outside of those 3 though there’s not a lot of good to be said about the Lions. They have surrendered the most giveaways, have the worst run defense in the league (allowing 147 yards per game) and as I mentioned before, their passing attack relies on a guy who's one hit away from losing to Michael Bishop on an IQ test.

For the Riders there are 3 keys to victory. 1) Stop Mallett. If we can force Pierce (or his eventual replacement) to beat us through the air BC won’t be putting up many points and it will also lead to increased pressure on the QB. Conversely we actually need to exploit BC’s terrible run D this time. 2) Win the battle on special teams. Lions have very good special teams and last time a gaffe by Walker on teams proved to be the difference. We have been improving lately in all areas of special teams and we need that to continue. 3) Eliminate turnovers. Odd stat for you – Durant is 3-1 in games that he throws 3 INTs. While I commend his ability to overcome adversity, I’d prefer if he could just do it the easy way.

On paper there’s no reason we shouldn’t beat the Lions. Practically speaking though, it never seems to be as easy for the Riders to beat the Lions as it should be. That said I still can’t help but feel confident when matched up against a QB who boasts more concussions this year than wins.
Riders by 7

Around the CFL…

One Lion who won’t be dressing is Paul McCallum. Although he’s ready to return from an injury after a 9 week hiatus, he has been informed by Buono that his services are no longer required as they are happy with his replacement Sean Whyte. While it can never be easy for an aging veteran on the downside of his career to be replaced by a younger, cheaper player, the news must be especially hard for McCallum to take given that Whyte isn’t all that good. He’s hitting only 74% of his FGs and his punting average is among the worst in the league. Ouch if you’re McCallum. Maybe him and Troy Westwood can form an “I’ve Been Replaced By A Really Crappy Kicker” support group.

On the topic of kickers, it was a good week for Luca Congi. He was named Special Teams Player of the month and also signed a 2 year plus an option extension with the Riders. The only way this news could have been better is if Luca had shown up to the press conference in overalls, a green hat and a moustache, enthusiastically saying “Itsa me, Luca Congi!”

Lastly, it was announced this week that a regular season CFL game would be played in Moncton next year. Even though the game will likely feature 2 of the crappiest teams the Easy Division has too offer this is still the most exciting thing to happen to Moncton since the 1992 Canadian Figure Skating Championships.

Sadly though, much like the skating championships, this event is likely to be ruined by the presence of Rod Black.

Monday Morning Sentimonies: Tuesday Afternoon Edition

2009-09-29T19:55:00.000-06:00

Riders 23 – Eskimos 20

I won’t lie, I was a tad worried about our chances in this game. We were in a stadium that we always struggle at, we gave up a pick 6 early, we took a too many men on the field penalty because someone who wasn’t even on FG formation mysteriously decided to insert himself in the game, we had a touchdown negated because Chunky Adams didn’t report as an eligible receiver, we ended up playing a rookie at corner… yeah things definitely weren’t looking good. Yet somehow we managed to overcome all of that and come away with the win and a share of first place.

Hats off to our defense. After getting embarrassed by Ricky Ray last week, they stepped up big time, allowing him to complete just over 50% of his passes and allowing no passing TDs. They also held Stamps to just 13 yards and Mann without a catch (no small feat). They kept the Esk offense in check all night despite Darian Durant doing his best Michael Bishop impersonation. I was pretty worried when I saw Tamon George out there consistently but I thought he played alright for it being his first game. As for Leron Mitchell, I swear the poor guy is cursed. Last year, he looks awesome on special teams in Game 1 and breaks his leg to start off game 2. This year he looked really good on the corner but ends up pulling a hammy before halftime. He’s becoming the new TJ Stancil… really awesome on those few series when he’s not hurt.

Offense was a mixed bag. Obviously I was less than impressed with Durant’s 3 picks but I’ve come to terms with the fact that this is what we will get from Durant all year: great plays mixed with bad plays. The thing that has always impressed me is his ability to fight through the mistakes and do what’s needed to win the game. I was shocked to see that Cates managed to rush for over 100 yards, it sure didn’t seem like that watching him. He still seems very tentative in his running. If he can put up 100 while running like Henri Childs just imagine what he could do if he ran like he did at the start of last year.

I though that Jamie “The Juggernaut” Boreham was a real difference maker in the game. His running punts into the wind really helped with the field position battle and on one occasion he even ended up extending a drive by deciding to hold the ball and run. He’s the only punter I know whose kicks actually improve when he kicks on the run.

The Renauld Williams touchdown may go down as the worst series of events leading to a TD in Rider history. Luca Congi made a FG but it was wiped out by a too many men on the field penalty. Then 2 of the players went off the field so we had to take a timeout because we now had too few people. Then Boreham punts followed by a series of grown men flailing themselves in the general vicinity of a loose ball (the likes of which hasn’t been seen since Man In The Bush reported on an after party during Gay Pride week) that somehow ended up with Rey Williams in the endzone with the ball. I’ve never seen anything quite like it (and hopefully never will again).

Other random observations…
- Seeing Keith Shologan go in motion to the slot was the funniest thing I have seen in weeks. Nothing like seeing a 290 lbs D-linemen in a full out sprint (though if the play clock were any shorter he might not have made it). The scary thing is that since he was going in motion, you know there’s a play in the book somewhere that involves him running a route and getting a reception. Can you say Shologan streak?

- A close second was seeing an Edmonton defender desperately holding onto Fantuz’s hand as he casually reached the ball in for the 2 point conversion.

- How amazing was it that 62,000 people attended that game? That is unheard of in the regular season and is certainly great news for the league.

- As great as Shologan in motion was, in terms of hilarity it was trumped later that night when I saw Michael Bishop bounce a pass off his slot back while attempting a quick screen to the wide receiver. Just when you think Bishop has found every conceivable way to embarrass himself, he proves you wrong.

It may not have been pretty but it was hard fought victory in a tough road game. Hopefully they can keep up that momentum because we travel to another tough stadium on Friday to face the Lions.

Riders vs. Eskimos: Third Time’s a Charm

2009-09-25T17:58:00.002-06:00

Well after failing twice to beat the Eskimos on our home turf we are now faced with the daunting task of needing a road win in Edmonton to avoid a season series sweep. Commonwealth is a place that we have struggled to win, having only won there once in the past 4 years. And if you’ll remember, the only reason we managed that solitary win was because a questionable holding call negated a game winning FG by Sean Fleming in his final game at Commonwealth setting up an Henri Childs TD (equally as rare as a road win in Edm) in OT to win. The fact that we only managed to beat a Maciocia coached team once in 4 years tells you just how much of an advantage home field is (it certainly wasn’t coaching proficiency that won those games).

I’m really not sure what to expect in this game. In our first meeting we were destroyed on the ground. This past week we got carved up through the air. We're running out of new ways to embarrass ourselves… though logically that leaves special teams as the next aspect to choke and, just our luck, that’s an area that’s been less than stellar all year. Crap.

Actually I’m not as pessimistic about this game as most. I still maintain that Edmonton is not that good. Despite the fact that we didn’t play defense until the 3^rd quarter and despite a stupid play by Patrick and a bad burn on Omarr, we still had a chance to win this game. If Edmonton was as good as people seem to think they are, they would have turned that list of Rider errors into a massive lead.

I would sincerely hope that now that we have some film on Kevin Strasser’s “new” offense that our defense will be able to do something… I’d prefer that it take the form of stopping the Esks O but at this point I’d even settle for the LBs to perform a synchronized Charleston as that would at least entertain me. We have the best pass defense in the league and need to prove it this week if we have any hope of winning. It looks like Rey Williams will return from injury so hopefully that will give the defense an added spark. Alexander is still out so Leron Mitchell will start on corner this weekend. While Mitchell is unproven thus far as a DB, seeing him line up in that spot is far more reassuring than seeing Tamon George out there. The key to stopping Ricky Ray from picking us apart again will be to take away his first read, forcing him to hold the ball a bit longer which will give our pass rush time to get to him.

Offensively, we played well last week (except for the dying minutes when we failed to get a much needed first down) but they still need to be better this week. The ground game in particular. 45 yards from Cates just won’t cut it. We need to pound the ball down their throat. I’m confident that if our offense can get on the field more this week, Durant will lead a strong passing attack.

If the defense can limit the passing attack we should be able to win a close one in front of the biggest crowd of the regular season. In the words of Grandpa Simpson “Make me proud… or at least less ashamed.”

Riders by a Luca Congi FG.

The Eskimos made a surprise signing this week, landing Reggie Hunt. After being out of football since last November, imagine the look on The Reaper’s face when he showed up to practice and the first thing he saw was Xzavie Jackson chasing after Aaron Fiacconi with a shovel. I’m sure he must have thought “What the hell have I gotten myself into?!” On that note, what the hell was Jackson thinking?! Though there’s no precedent on the matter I’m going to go ahead and guess that assaulting a guy with a shovel during practice will likely negatively affect your tenure with a team… might land you a WWE contract but won’t do much for your football career.

Xzavie never managed to get close enough to hit Fiacconi with the shovel, but we here at Rider Prophet Media think there’s no better way to start the weekend then by watching someone get hit with a shovel (except maybe a piñata stick to the crotch), here’s a computer simulation of what the incident would have looked like if Xzavie had connected…

And this is what it would look like if they were lego men…

And lastly this is what it would look like if the coaches had brought in a bunch of children to do the Mexican hat dance to ease the tension…

Monday Morning Sentimonies: Too Little Too Late

2009-09-21T19:32:00.000-06:00

Riders 27 – Eskimos – 31

I was excited to see Kitwana Jones come through the tunnel. So excited in fact that I sprinted from the parking lot up to my seat in the second deck to make sure I wouldn’t miss it. Fortunately that moment did not disappoint. He came trough the tunnel jacked up, spiked his helmet and started beaking his former team. Unfortunately, that was about the only part of the game that didn’t disappoint.

Despite what the score and late game surge might suggest, this game was over in the first half. While there were errors made in all phases of the game, the blame lies squarely on the defense. When your defense fails to force a punt in the entire first half you do not deserve to win, plain and simple.

I never realized that Donovan Alexander was such an important piece of the defense. He sits out due to injury and everything goes to crap.

I’m assuming that Gary Etcheverry does not have cable or access to a DVD player because he has evidently never seen Ricky Ray play. The methodical short passing attack that Ricky Ray has made a career out of seemed to catch Etch and his defense by surprise. For the entire first half the defense seemed content to stand around and let Ray move the ball at will. Did Etch owe Richie Hall money and see this as a way of working off his debt? I don’t pretend to be a defensive genius but having the defensive backs give a 15 yard cushion when 90% of Ray’s passes were 8 yards or less seems to make about as much sense as women’s infatuation with that grease-ball douche bag from Twilight.

Jerell Freeman looked lost out there most of the time. We still have trouble tackling consistently… check that, we have trouble tackling at all. But despite all the defensive ineptitude we were subject too, we clawed our way back into the lead and were minutes away from stealing a victory… at least until Omarr Morgan came along. Morgan actually managed to break 2 records last night… one for the longest fumble return and another for the biggest failed coverage of the season. Why on earth would you bite on an underneath route when they need to get big yards to have a chance in this game?!? Morgan’s screw up left Maurice Mann more open than Man in the Bush on a Friday night and cost us the win. Morgan had managed to work himself off my hatred list but managed to work his way back on with that disgraceful display of defense.

For the most part, those rare times the offense managed to get on the field, they played pretty decently aside from a weak running attack. My only knock against the offense was their failure to get a first down late in the game to secure a win. Show some killer instinct LaPo. We were facing the worst secondary in the league, our run game was struggling and passing game doing pretty darn good. So what does Lapo, in his infinite genius, decide to do when he needs a couple first downs to guarantee victory? Run 2 consecutive draw plays netting negative yards. Good work. If you are intent on running you should at least get some blockers in there (i.e. Szarka) and run it down their throats. If you are just going to pussy foot around waiting for Edmonton to tackle you, you might as well just bring back Henri Childs because that was his specialty.

To make matters even worse we were treated to the worst half time show I have ever seen. As if the crappy game and crappy weather weren’t enough, the Riders decided to make the game day a completely terrible experience by allowing The Special Olympics Presents Stomp to take the field. That was the worst attempt at entertainment I have ever seen… even worse then the time that the band couldn’t play because the stage was too wet so halftime was silent. The only way to salvage that weird attempt at entertainment would have been to have some sort of sacrificial burning in the middle of all those drummers.

So there you go, another disappointing performance by the most inconsistent team in the CFL. When we’re good, we look like a top team but when we’re bad we look like a junior team. We better work things out quickly because with a tight race in the west a couple more performances like this could land us with a playoff date in Hamilton.

Riders vs. Eskimos: Let’s Try This Again

2009-09-17T07:30:00.001-06:00

Sunday the Riders host the Eskimos in the first game of a back to back series. The Riders (6-4) come into this game on a 2 game win streak with homefield advantage while the Esks (5-5) come in on a 2 game losing streak. Things are definitely shaping up in the Riders favour. What’s that? …. Oh right… there’s that whole “monumental collapse” thing in week 4 when the situations were pretty much identical coming into the game. Almost forgot about that embarrassing ordeal.

Before the game even kicks off you have to think that the Riders will have the emotional edge in this game the moment that the team is led out of the tunnel by… Kitwana Jones!! It will be awesome to see that again and it will surely fire up the team and the fans.

The Esks come into this game struggling to say the least. They have lost 3 of their last 5 and needed last minute heroics to steal the 2 games that they won. Ricky Ray has looked terrible his last couple outings and the Esks still have one of the worst ground games in the league. Problem is that we all know Ray can still be very dangerous and that hapless run game victimized us in the first encounter.

As many concerns as they have on O, they pale in comparison to the ones on D. They are currently the worst defensive unit in the CFL having allowed the most yards and the most points (over 31 per game). Add to that the fact they are the worst in the league when it comes to sacks, interceptions and creating turnovers. About the only thing they seem to excel at is not allowing FGs (among the least allowed in the league)… though the reason they allow so few FGs is that they prefer to let their opponents score TDs instead (most TDs allowed in the league) but let’s focus on the positives here. It boils down to what I’ve been saying since the start of the season about the Esks: Mo Lloyd may be good, but he’s not good enough to compensate for the lack of talent on the part of the other 11 defenders (no to mention the lack of talent in his defensive coordinator).

Last time we played the Esks we got beat by the run, a 3^rd quarter implosion and offensive play calling that was as questionable as that South African sprinter’s gender (though the sprinter had one thing our play calling lacked… balls). Fortunately since that Buffalo Bills-esque collapse we have been steadily improving in these areas. We just shut down the league’s top runner 2 weeks in a row. We have been playing progressively better in the 3^rd quarter and I have been very happy with our play calling of late. If we can keep this up we should be fine.

Offensively the key to the game is the passing game. Edmonton has the worst secondary in the league so Durant has an opportunity to exploit them for big yards. We need a strong running game to keep our offense on the field but passing is where our points will be scored. Defensively, the key will be stopping the run. Ricky Ray may be better than Bishop (talk about the understatement of the century) but if he has no ground game to take the pressure off him he will struggle just the same… okay he probably won’t struggle near as bad as Bishop, but he’ll still struggle. Forcing Ray to drop back and pass plays right into our 2 biggest strengths. 1 being our sack happy D-line and 2 being our pass coverage which is the best in the league at this point (least yds allowed, 2^nd most INTs).

The only thing that worries me coming into this game is special teams. Our foibles (good word) in this area have cost us big on numerous occasions. Tristan Jackson’s punt return TD was the catalyst to the Esks’ comeback last time. Hopefully Kitwana will be looking to knock his former team mates senseless.

Edmonton is not that good of a football team and if the Riders play anywhere close to their potential they should have no problem proving it on Sunday. Look for the Riders to come out pumped up for the hometown crowd and exact vengeance on the Esks for last time.

Riders by 10.

Monday Morning Sentimonies: What Did We Learn?

2009-09-14T17:56:00.001-06:00

Riders 55 – Bombers 10

So apparently Michael Bishop’s vow following the Labour Day Classic that the Bombers were “going to kick their asses” was about as accurate a prediction as most of his pass attempts. Also, Mike Kelly’s claim that “Our team is as good as they are” was about as good of an assessment as the one he made about Stephan LeFors ability to be a starting QB.

But those weren't the only lessons learned during the Banjo Bowl Massacre of ’09. Here are a few more…

Michael Bishop is comically terrible… not that we didn’t already know that but I feel as though his 9 of 20 for 98 yds and 2 picks performance deserved special mockery.
Sadly, Bishop is by far the Bombers’ best QB… as evidenced by Bryan Randall getting picked off on his first pass attempt and going on to complete as many passes to Riders as he did to Bombers.
The Bombers must be kicking themselves for releasing Jason Armstead before the season because he would have been by far their best option at QB (what a throw!)
Andy Fantuz is back. As nice as that toss from Armstead was, it really should have been an INT if it weren’t for Fantuz ripping it out of the defenders hands.
The reverse to Brock Ralph still has yet to work… but I guess they say persistence pays off eventually.
Darian Durant just keeps improving. I really think that him spending the bye week in the film room will turn out to be the turning point of his season.
Turns out we can score in the 3^rd quarter… and we’re still undefeated when we do so
Rob Bagg is awesome… just wish his first name was Travis or something so I could coin the phrase “You’ve been T Bagged!”
Our patchwork O-line seems to have finally gelled. They gave up no sacks and powered a strong running attack by Wes Cates.
Our defense is now firing on all cylinders… in particular John Chick, Sean Lucas and Lance Frazier.
The flash cards that the Bombers used this week were not any more effective than the whiteboards used last week in terms of helping the offense execute plays. Wonder what they will try next? Lite Brite? Spirograph?

The win leaves the Riders in a first place tie with the Stampeders at 6-4. It’s really too bad that Winnipeg wasn’t still in the West because I would love to see Michael Bishop embarrass himself a couple more times. Oh well, you’ve gotta be happy with a dominating win but let’s remember that it came against one of the worst teams in the CFL. The real test will come over our next 3 games, which are against western opponents. For now though continue basking in a strong showing by the Riders and comical embarrassment by the Bombers.

That's It We're Going Back To Winnipeg!

2009-09-10T17:28:00.003-06:00

Sunday the Riders travel to that peepee soaked heck hole known as Winnipeg for the annual Banjo Bowl. I still think that since Troy Westwood is no longer in the league that we should rename the annual game based on more recent inflammatory comments... but evidently the Blue Bombers do not support my “Crotch Bowl” proposal. Maybe they’d like it better if we switched it from a bowl to a cup.

History is on the Bombers’ side in this contest as they lead the all-time Banjo Bowl series 3-2. History, however, is about the only thing on the Bombers’ side for this game.

Last week we saw exactly what you can expect from the Bombers… an offense that relies entirely on Fred Reid for success and completely implodes when he is contained. They have a QB who is a turnover machine, an O-line that can’t block and a middle linebacker too stupid to handle the relatively simple opening coin toss. The rest of their defense has a couple standout players, but as we proved last week they can be made to look very average.

Things don’t really get any easier for the Bombers. They were clearly outmatched by our players last week and this week our roster will be even stronger. Our offense will be bolstered by the return of Andy Fantuuuuuz and our special teams will received a huge boost from the returns of Neal Hughes, Leron Mitchell and Kitwana Jones. Winnipeg was a worse team than us last week and we have improved significantly heading into the rematch while they have not. That doesn’t bode well for the Bombers. Maybe Kelly will try and bolster his defense by starting a former Grey Cup MVP cornerback. I mean, James Johnson was directly responsible for the Bombers’ last Banjo Bowl victory in 2007.

Game plan remains the exact same as last week: contain Fred Reid at all costs. You can bet Kelly will try and throw some wrinkles at us in an attempt to spring him but going against a weak O-line I’m very confident in our front seven’s ability to stop Reid and force Bishop to embarrass himself through the air.

Defensively, I would expect Winnipeg to come out very aggressive. They lead the league in INTs and have a pretty decent run D so we need to be careful. Last week we used the right mix of slow methodical drives and shots downfield (we just need Durant to hook up with the receivers when they get open deep) to keep them off balance. We need to continue that, and a big part of it comes from Cates. Whether by running or catching out of the backfield he needs to chew up yards to open up things for our receivers. Since our defense is guaranteed to create turnovers, if our offense can control the ball we will be set.

I’m fully aware that Michael Bishop had a pretty big game at last year’s Banjo Bowl but given that he doesn’t once again have the luxury of playing against a really bad Bomber defense I don’t expect an encore performance. Well that’s not entirely true… he will once again be completing long passes to the Riders.

While I expect Winnipeg to play a lot better at home, they just aren’t as good of a football team as we are. The return of Fantuz, Hughes, Jones and Mitchell will be more than enough of a boost to overcome the change in home field advantage.

Riders by 10

Those of you brave enough to travel to Winnipeg to see the game live may want to invest in nose plugs and a bulletproof vest… but should you survive the smell and rampant gang violence keep an eye out for the whiteboards the Bombers use to call plays in. My sources indicate there’s a good chance you will see the following…

Or this...

Aww Yeah!

2009-09-09T21:58:00.002-06:00

Welcome home Kitwana

Monday Morning Sentimonies: Belated Labour Day Edition

2009-09-08T19:29:00.001-06:00

Riders 29 – Bombers 14

Like most Canadians the Rider Prophet celebrated Labour Day by not performing any labour whatsoever (the irony is not lost on me). So even though it’s no longer Monday or even morning for that matter here’s a belated edition of Monday Morning Sentimonies…

I knew the Bombers were a brutal football team but I assumed they were intelligent enough to get through the coin toss before their first screw-up of the game. Evidently I gave them way too much credit. I was actually hoping that Mike Kelly would throw the challenge flag and ask for the first ever video review of a coin toss.

My game ball goes to Michael Bishop who went out there and did what he does best… serve up INTs in groups of 3. I knew you had it in you Bishop. It’s wonderful to finally be able to benefit from his failures (it’s also a lot easier on my blood pressure). Although I thoroughly enjoyed his on field performance, it’s what was occurring on the sidelines that absolutely made my day. In an effort to try and accommodate Bishop’s mental retardation, the coaches have started using giant whiteboards with numbers on them to signal in the play calls to him from the sideline. It’s hilarious to watch mainly because most peewee teams wouldn’t need to sink that low. But then again if there was ever someone who could redefine stupidity at the QB position, Bishop is that man.

While Bishop certainly did his part to secure the loss, he wasn’t the only former Rider whose shortcomings finally benefited the green and white. Steve Morley and Glenn January (and the O-line in general for that matter) were completely overpowered by the dynamic duo of the Pigeon Toed Wonder and his partner Captain Diabetes (aka Baggs and Chick). I guess it should come as no surprise that 2 lineman not skilled enough to start for the Riders couldn’t hold their own against our starters. The worst was when the Bombers were on our 1 yard line at the end of the first half and their O-line was so porous that Mullinder and Chick managed to get into the backfield with relative ease.

The defense as a whole did exactly what they needed to do - give Fred Reid zero room to move. In addition to our line getting consistent pressure, we also used James Patrick very effectively to add extra pressure. Patrick was actually more useful in his safety blitzes on Sunday than his predecessor was on all his career “blitzes” combined. And how about Tad Kornegay… he had a huge game.

Memo to Mike Kelly: When we run WR reverses they work because we use a lightning fast receiver (Dressler). When you run the same reverses they net you negative yards because you use Brock Ralph (who has not previously, nor will he ever be, described as lightning fast). Seriously, why not just run the reverse to Oosterhuis, at least he'd be harder to bring down.

Offensively, I thought Durant played really well. He came out and organized 2 nice TD drives into the wind and other than that INT, which looked like it slipped out of his hand, controlled the ball well. I am now firmly on the Rob Bagg bandwagon. He is awesome and deservedly becoming a bigger part of our offense with each passing week. How this guy went undrafted is beyond me. When you consider that it cost us a high draft pick for the privilege of having David McKoy occupy our injury list, Bagg is a complete steal. Another big factor in the effectiveness of our offense was the yards chewed up by Wes Cates (160 total yards).

Message to the Riders coaching staff: We are now undefeated when we score in the 3^rd quarter… you should try doing it more often.

Despite my skepticism I have to admit that Armstead looked okay out there. He was by no means outstanding but he at least looks to be an improvement at that spot. To be fair though, he was the beneficiary of a favourable scheme. While we usually attempt to block punts at the expense of blocking for our returner, this week we made no attempt to block the kick and had everyone drop back and block for Armstead. So while our returns were a bit better it wasn’t all Armstead’s doing.

One last note: Could they have found 3 stupider people to compete for 25 stacks at half time? Seriously, most pre school children could assemble a 12 piece puzzle in under 5 minutes, why couldn’t those competitors? The only way that half time show could have been worse is if Michael Bishop was a contestant… Stephan LeFors could have used his whiteboard to send instructions in from the sideline, but Bishop would still probably lose as a result of a piece or two ending up in his opponent's possession.

All in all it was a great game and a great long weekend. The only disappointment for me was that James Johnson wasn’t healthy enough to embarrass himself on the field. Hopefully we can maintain this momentum as we get ready for the Banjo Bowl.

Around the CFL…

How ridiculous was the end to the BC/Montreal game?! I’ve witnessed a lot of head scratching errors in officiating over the years but that one has to rank up there among the worst of them. Montreal gets their game tying TD called back because the clock wasn’t right?! Give me a break! Generally a team gets penalized for something someone on their team did. In this case, Montreal got screwed out of a legit TD because of something the timekeeper (who is from BC) did. Ridiculous! True to their Quebec roots, due to the unfair treatment the Als received from the west, they are now threatening to separate from the CFL and form their own system of officiating.

Labour Day Classic – Send In The Clowns

2009-09-03T17:19:00.001-06:00

It’s been sold out for months, it’s the most highly anticipated game of the regular season and now it’s but days away.

Sunday the Riders (4-4) take on the Bombers (3-5) in the annual Labour Day Classic. Since 1946, the Riders have won the infamous clash 27 times out of 44 and have not lost since 2004. Over the length of the rivalry there have been games that were truly deserving of the term “classic” such as Joseph’s last minute TD run in 2007. Of course there have also been games at the opposite end of the excitement scale such as last year when the game was highlighted by Michael Bishop’s 100 yard passing, 0 TD, 2 turnover performance completely overwhelming an absolutely brutal Bomber team. Classic Michael Bishop… yes. Classic game… hardly.

Normally when Labour Day roles around my pre-game post is filled with jokes and insults directed as the residents of Manitoba. It’s kinda of a victimless crime since most of them don’t possess the requisite 3rd grade education required to read and comprehend this blog. This year, however, I’ve decided to take it easy on our unattractive inbred neighbours to the east… mainly because I feel sorry for Winnipeg fans this year. While they have gotten used to a poor performing team over the years… no fans should have to endure the embarrassing gong show that the Bombers have become.

The team is far worse than their record would indicate and have been a complete an utter gong show since the day Mike Kelly took charge.

Fined for breaking league rules… check
Willingly acquiring both Michael Bishop and James Johnson… check
Caught spying on opponents… check
Losing despite spying on opponents… check
Horrifying when shown up close in High-Def… check
Over $300,000 in salary cap spent on players who are now cut, traded or retired… check
Claiming the universally accepted shotgun formation is for coaches who don’t know what they are doing… check
Embarrassing offense… check
Losing record… check
Failed attempt at signing a repeated felon that has been rejected by the NFL… check and double check

I enjoy watching the Bombers fans wallow in misery as much as the next guy but even I have to admit this is a bit excessive.

Defensively the Bombers are actually fairly underrated. Jovon Johnson and Sideeq Shabazz are turning in all-star caliber performances. The Bombers lead the league in INTs and turnovers and are second in points allowed. This poses the question: with a defense this good, why does Winnipeg suck so much?

Well as good as their defense is… their offense is about a million times worse. Dead last in TDs scored, dead last in total yards gained and by far the worst passing game in the CFL (averaging only 150 yds per game). If it weren’t for Fred Reid the Bombers could very well be winless this season.

Personally I’m shocked that an offense led by Michael Bishop is struggling so much… haha! Oh hell I can’t even type that with a straight face. The Bombers, who evidently learned absolutely nothing from the follies of the Riders and Argos, brought back the partially retarded QB in a misguided attempt to jumpstart their offense. The result is a starting QB with the worst completion % among QBs not named Stephan and twice as many INTs as TDs… which should actually be considered a resounding success by Bishop’s standards.

There are 2 keys to victory for the Riders. #1) Load the box and do not allow Fred Reid one square inch. Force Bishop to attack us through the air because we’ve all seen the catastrophic results that can lead to. Given Bishop’s inability to account for the safety, James Patrick should have a huge game (early favourite for Defensive Player of the Week). #2 Attack the secondary. They may lead the league INTs but they give up a ton of yards in the process. Quick passes and timing routes will reduce their chance to ball hawk while still moving the ball. As always, a solid ground game and a special teams that doesn’t repeatedly screw up would be nice but I’m not holding my breath.

Rider always seem to step up big on Labour Day and besides I’m very confident in Michael Bishop’s ability to screw things up royally (c’mon knock yourself out again!). Though I think it will be closer than some are expecting…

Riders by 12

Of course my annual Labour Day post wouldn’t be complete without a Winnipeg joke, so I’ll end with one. Enjoy the game everybody.

An Ontarian wanted to become a Newfie. He went to the neurosurgeon and asked, "Is there anything you can do to me that would make me into a Newfie?".

"Sure it's easy." replied the neurosurgeon. "All I have to do is cut out 1/3 of your brain, and you'll be a Newfie."

The Ontarian was very pleased, and immediately underwent the operation. However, the neurosurgeon's knife slipped, and instead of cutting 1/3 of the patient's brain, the surgeon accidentally cut out 2/3 of the patient's brain. He was terribly remorseful, and waited impatiently beside the patient's bed as the patient recovered from the anaesthetic. As soon as the patient was conscious, the neurosurgeon said to him "I'm terribly sorry, but there was a ghastly accident. Instead of cutting out 1/3 of your brain, I accidentally cut out 2/3 of your brain."

The patient replied "Go Blue Bombers !!”

You Call That Crazy? I’ll Show You Crazy

2009-09-01T20:06:00.003-06:00

You’d think that given the absolute gong show that Mike Kelly has been running since he took over the Bombers, he would be glad when other teams do things that take the media’s attention away from him. Apparently that is not the case though.

With the signing of alleged gun toting yahoo Jason Armstead, the media had turned their attention to the Riders. This apparently didn’t sit well with Kelly so he went out and signed a higher profile, more controversial kick returner… Pacman Jones! How do you like them apples Tillman?!

While Pacman is a household name in the NFL, he is a newcomer to the CFL world. With that in mind let’s get to know him a bit better in a new feature I lazily like to call Getting To Know…

Getting To Know… Pacman Jones

Name: Adam Bernard Jones
Nickname: Pacman (because as a kid he drank milk really fast)
Accomplishments: 6^th Overall Pick in 2005 NFL Draft, Former TNA Wrestling Tag Team Champion
Secret Talent: Budding hip hop star as one half of the soon to be rap sensation Posterboyz
Hobbies: Public intoxication, recreational drug use, yelling at valets who make him wait for his car, spitting on women, betting on college games, getting suspended from the NFL and assaulting strippers
Pet Peeve: When strippers assume they get to keep the $80,000 you shower them with.

So based on the information above let’s predict how Pacman will fare with his new team.
- His employment in professional football despite numerous suspensions show just how resilient he is
- His wrestling experience clearly indicates that he’s a team player… one of championship caliber to boot.
- His tendency for spitting on and assaulting women… well that can’t be a good sign but I guess 2 out of 3 ain’t bad.

While many are questioning the logic in this move, I’m gonna go ahead and assume it has something to do with their current kick returner being James Johnson and therefore they were in need of a massive upgrade (that’s right I cleverly turned a Pacman Jones story into a James Johnson burn).

With the Bombers coming to town, I would recommend that any news reporter looking for a good story camp out outside of Dancers (or inside, but only if you’re very very brave). Though I wonder if Jones will truly grasp how far his career has fallen when he’s beating up a stripper from one of the lowest forms of gentlemen’s clubs around for taking his roll of loonies?

Monday Morning Sentimonies: Him? Seriously?

2009-08-31T17:30:00.000-06:00

In my last post I promised a return to football related sentimonies today. I almost had to reneg on that promise since there wasn’t much Riders news to talk about. Then as I was preparing to draft some poor attempt at a filler post, I heard the news that the Riders had brought in a new player that they expect to start on Labour Day. For those of you who haven’t yet heard who it is I’ll give you some hints.

- He is a former all-star receiver
- He played for the Riders for a year and a half
- He would have been part of the Grey Cup run in 2007 if he didn’t ask to be the focal point of our offense and subsequently get traded away
- He has been cut by 3 teams over the past 2 years
- The last time we heard of him he was waving his gun at his girlfriend as she sped away in her car

That’s right, today the Riders are welcoming back Jason Armstead.

After mulling things over during the bye week it seems as though the powers that be have decided that the answer to our non-existent return game is to bring back Armstead. While I have to give credit to Tillman for attempting to something about our return game, I’m pretty skeptical about how effective this will be. Armstead was the last Rider to return a kick for a TD but to be fair Jerald Baylis was the last Rider to be named Defensive Player of the Year but I doubt he’d give much of a boost to our defense today. Furthermore, the last time I saw Armstead play at Mosaic he was costing games the Als and Bombers games by either kneeling when he should have run, running when he should have knelt or fumbling when he should have not been on the field in the first place. So forgive me if I seem a bit skeptical about the move.

It seems Tillman and Miller are getting into the spirit of the league retro weeks. A few weeks ago we brought in the ’89 team as special guests. This week we are bringing in members of the ’06 team… as players. In addition to Armstead, our injuries at tackle have led to the return of Antonio Hall and injuries at LB are paving the way for the return of Reggie Hunt. I guess since Tillman is not allowed out of his house he has resorted to using a Delorean or possibly a phone booth (ala Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure) to conduct his scouting duties.

Maritime Thoughts From The Rider Prophet

2009-08-29T21:07:00.002-06:00

The combination of me being on vacation and the Riders being on the bye week has led to me having absolutely nothing football related to talk about… well aside from the once mighty Calgary Stampeders almost embarrassing themselves by losing to an Argo offense that consisted entirely of the check down to Jamal Robertson last night.

Anywho, since I have nothing to say about football and today is the last day of my quasi-deserved vacation, I figured I would relay to you some random thoughts/observations from my trip to PEI…

- The economy in PEI seems to be based entirely on potatoes and Anne of Green Gables. In a surprising coincidence, the economy is not doing so well.

- Though there are many tours that allow you to see seals, none of them allow you to actually club one (what a gyp!).

- There are no restaurants on the island … only eateries. In fact, everything ends in “ery”. Eatery, winery, creamery, fishery, shopery, prostitutery, drug dealey, etc…

- Peeing in the ocean is as satisfying as it sounds.

- Orca whale steaks are incredibly hard to find. I was very disappointed.

- Mermaid tears = false advertising

- I was not brave enough to try “potted meat” so it will forever remain a mystery.

- My apologies to the members the Rider Prophet staff who were informally promised presents… I inadvertently spent all my money at the aforementioned prostitutery so there will be no gifts.

- Lastly and most important, congratulations to my cousin Kyle who won a silver medal in the 1500m wheelchair race in the Canada Games. I was proud to be on hand to see it first hand

I’ll be back Monday with some football related sentimonies.

Monday Morning Sentimonies: Celine Dion!

2009-08-24T08:00:00.000-06:00

Riders 25 – Als 34

Today’s edition of Monday Morning Sentimonies comes to you live from the shores of PEI. The Prophet is currently enjoying some quasi-deserved vacation time. In a great display of timing, my first trip to the Maritimes has allowed me and Hurricane Bill hanging out quite a bit. Good times.

Right now you’re probably wondering why I’m still blogging while on vacation. Surely I could have left one of my other staff in charge of things. Well as much as I would like to say that it’s because I’m so dedicated to you my faithful readers… that would be a lie (nothing personal). The truth is I’m doing this because I have the most useless group of employees next to senate. PR Guy is less comprehensible than most newly landed immigrants, Man in the Bush hasn’t been heard from in days and may be currently serving 5-10 for a variety of offenses I’m happier not knowing about and Media Consultant… well I just plain don’t trust him. I guess you get what you pay for.

Anywho, I suppose I should make an attempt to comment on the game…

I was actually surprised at how well we played on Friday. I figured it would be a close game but the fact is we outplayed the Als in many aspects of the game but yet again fell victim to the same problems that have plagued our team all season… goal line offense, turnovers, special teams and 3rd quarter futility.

If you would have told me that we would have held Anthony Calvillo under 200 yards passing and sacked him 4 times I would have laughed at you. But amazingly that’s what our defense went out and did. Fell credit to them for an outstanding performance against the premier offensive unit in the league. Other than some piss poor tackling on the one TD I was very happy with how our defense performed.

Offensively, apparently Paul LaPolice took the advice that Dressler should be used more a bit too literally. He was pretty much our entire offense… even that 2 point convert was intended for Dressler, Getzlaf just jumped in front of him. It really didn’t surprise me that we couldn’t establish a run game against a Montreal run D that is stiffer than (insert sexually inappropriate comparison here; I’m too lazy to think of one on my own). Normally, the lack of a running game grinds our O to a halt. This time however, we simply started pushing the ball downfield instead… and with great success. Durant looked real good on his long passes (at least until Mathieu Proulx figured out our game plan and picked him off). In most cases, a strong defensive performance and a passing game that successfully stretches the field should be enough to win. But we’re the Riders and never do anything the conventional way.

While I have to give LaPolice credit for the passing game he called, I’m still left to wonder if his parents are related, or he was dropped on his head as a child… because man does he make some retarded decisions. One such example was when we got stuffed in the redzone early in the game. For reasons, I can only hope were alcohol related, LaPo decided to run our smallest RB up the middle twice in a row… and in a shocking turn of events we were stuffed both times. Most people would have used a bigger back such as Cates or Szarka to run up the middle, or at least ran to the outside to use Charles’ speed to our advantage, but not LaPo (maybe he just wanted to see a back flip really bad). Of course it doesn’t help matters when Durant throws brutally bad picks to the Als’ LBs.

Then we come to our special teams who have to be labeled as the worst unit in the league at this point. In all fairness to Kavis Reed we are currently missing our top 3 special teams players in Hughes, Williams and Stewart and they are being replaced with rookies… mostly DBs, which is a reason our blocking is so atrocious. That said it’s not like our issues on special teams are anything new, so maybe we should get around to addressing them. The only thing getting worse returns at this point is my pension fund.

If you look objectively at the game, if you take away the Als’ goal line stance and the punt return TD we could have easily beaten the best team in the CFL, which is extremely impressive. That said the reason that the Als are 7-1 and we are 4-4 is because they aren’t making the same mistakes that we routinely do (INTs, special teams screw ups and 3rd quarter holidays). Hopefully the bye week will allow the team a chance to heal up and the coaches a chance to start addressing our chronic problems because we are so close to being a premier team in this league but if we better start improving soon because Labour Day is coming up and we don’t want to get embarrassed like BC.

On that note, how bad do you have to be to give up 393 rushing yards in a single game?! I get mad when the Riders give up 100. Everyone in the country knew that Fred Reid was getting the ball on every play but somehow BC looked shocked and unable to do anything each and every time he got the ball. BC is in major trouble. For all the criticism that Mike Kelly has taken this year, I have to give him credit for one thing: he is the only coach to design an offensive attack that Michael Bishop couldn’t screw up… hand the ball off on every play.

Now if you’ll excuse me, me I gotta to get back to hanging with Hurricane Bill. I still have lots to do here this week including punching Anne of Green Gables, peeing in the ocean and starting up a lobster fighting ring. Catch you when I get back.

Riders vs. Alouettes: Part Deux

2009-08-20T22:15:00.001-06:00

Given that this weeks’ game takes place in “La Belle Province” I will randomly insert meaningless French words here and there in order to comply with official languages legislation.

Friday the Riders travel to Montreal to play the 1^st place Als. The last time these 2 teams played, the Als came away with an embarrassingly lopsided victory. Zut Alors!

Trying to find weaknesses in the Alouettes is like trying to find a polite, non-smoking French person with good hygiene… although I’m sure one must exist somewhere, good luck trying to find it. Anthony Calvillo is so good it’s almost robotic. He is completing an amazing 74.5% of his passes. He is blessed with one of the league’s top RBs and 2 of the top 3 receivers in terms of yards so far this year in Watkins and Cahoon (oh yeah and their 3^rd option just happens to be Jamel Richardson). To be fair though the offensive force known as Keith Shologan has more TDs this season than the diminutive mormon. On a side note, due to the injury of Kye Stewart, Aaron Wagner will be moving back to LB so there’s a chance we may finally get to see who the toughest mormon in the CFL is (Go Wagner!). On top of all of that his O-line is offering a level of protection that would make Lincoln, Garfield, McKinley and Kennedy very envious. They have allowed a league low 6 sacks this season. The Alouettes are among the league leaders in virtually every offensive category. Syrop d’Érable!

Defensively, well, as Fred Reid learned the hard way, the Als are more than just “okay”. They have the stingiest defense in the league, allowing an average of 15 points per game and a microscopic 63 rushing yards per game. They lead the league in sacks and are tied with the Riders for the league lead in takeaways. The only aspect of the D that comes close to being labeled as just okay is the secondary. Pamplemousse!

The Riders counter with an offense that next to impossible to figure out. They are among the league leaders in points scored but among the league’s worst in yards gained. One game our run game looks unstoppable, the next they look useless. Mon Dieu! Durant looks like a poised, veteran starter some drives and a Frankenstein QB that was made of Michael Bishop’s brain and Marcus Crandell’s arm strength on others. Bibliothèques!

Defensively, we are about as puzzling. We are among the league leaders in total yards and passing yards allowed but dead last in terms of points given up. Celine Dion! It was reassuring to see Etch make some adjustments last week that actually resulted in consistently stopping the run. And with John Chick back in the mix, consistent pressure seems to be a realizable goal. Rock Voisine! We are the best in the league at creating turnovers and that will need to continue if we hope to steal a win in Montreal.

The key to the game will be pressure. We need to get to Calvillo and disrupt him or he will eat us up like a plate of poutine. Stunts, HB blitzes, whatever, just make sure you hit him and get in his face. We also need to limit the ferocious Alouette pass rush or Durant won’t be completing much of anything. That means the O-line has to step up and Cates will need to run hard. Coq au Vin!

Most aren’t giving us a chance in this game but I think it will be a close game (provided we decide to do something in the 3^rd). Our secondary is good enough to limit the passing attack, our receivers are good enough to exploit the Als secondary, so it comes down to the battle in the trenches, where the Als have the edge. There has also been much talk of the humidity the team will encounter in Montreal and as we all know it's not possible to overstate the crippling effects of water vapour in the air on a hot day. It's no laughing matter, to be sure. We will fight hard but fall just short. Bonhomme Carnaval!

Als by 7 (This should actually be a good omen, the only other time this year I picked the Riders to lose they ended up winning) Crêpe Suzette!

Around the CFL…

- Apparently the Riders have been in contact with Reggie Hunt about the possibility of bringing him in if it appears Kye Stewart’s knee will be a long term injury. And given the amount of injuries we’ve sustained at LB they are also fitting him for a knee brace and booking surgery time just in case.

- Word is the Riders have made a multi-year contract extension offer to Andy Fantuz. Given the success that my beer offer had in the negotiations with Jason Clermont, I would like to extend a similar offer to Andy… sign with the Riders and I will buy you beer after every game.

- Buck Pierce has suffered his 2^nd concussion in 5 weeks and 4^th head injury in 9 months. And all this is on top of the rib, foot and shoulder injuries that perennially plague Pierce. I don’t know what’s stupider, the fact that Pierce still wants to keep playing or the fact that Wally Buono still wants to play him? Why is Wally always so fond of the uber-fragile QBs?

- Mike Kelly forced Stephan LeFors to accept pay cut from $150K to $90K. While many people are feeling empathetic towards LeFors, I actually envy the guy. I mean how awesome would it be to suck so much that the boss replaces you yet still pays you $90K to sit on the sidelines and watch your replacement embarrass himself?