Allen's Edge of the World

You can't go home again. WRFN becomes Norse Code Radio

2009-02-20T13:56:00.002-05:00

I'm going to sound like an old man in today's post.

When I say that I graduated from college thirteen years ago, it makes me feel old. I graduated from Northern Kentucky University in 1996. Looking back, I wish I had majored in something different. Alas, I majored in Radio/Television with an emphasis on engineering. I wanted to be a broadcast engineer.

The way that turned out is a story for another day.

Since I enjoyed radio, in my freshman year of 1990 I was instantly attracted to the campus radio station, WRFN. It was there that I found my home away from home. It was there where I spent all my extra time, where I became a DJ, learned the art of voiceover work, production, promotions, sales, and became the general manager in my final year. I put a lot of myself into that place, trying to make it the best little radio station I could. And I succeeded in improving it both technically and aesthetically. I had an awesome set of friends, and we all worked together to keep th station going. It was like our own little club, and we loved it.

WRFN was set up to mimic a commercial radio station. We had a definite format to follow, modern rock mixed with classic rock We logged all music and spots and promos we played. WRFN was kind of a training lab to learn how to work in radio, even if the only audience were those who had to listen in the university center or those few who tuned in their radios in the dorms.

We did things almost the same way as the "real" stations: we sold air time, produced and played commercials, read PSAs, played station promos, wrote and read news. We signed on in the morning and signed off at night. We followed a playlist and went live when the log told use to. We played carts, records, and CDs. WRFN was a place to hone our talent both in voice and production. The longer we worked at it, the better we got. We had a lot of students work in commercial radio after leaving WRFN.

Everything was analog from 1990 to 1996. Except for CD players, everything was done on tape. We played records on the air. There was no computer.

And we were happy. These were among the best years of my life.

However, radio had been changing and we didn't know it. Analog was shifting to digital. Computers were taking over the radio studios. Even the CDs were disappearing along with the old cart machines.

And since I graduated, internet radio has come into its own in supplementing terrestrial radio.

Which finally drags me to today's point.

WRFN went through a whole lot of change after I graduated. WRFN was dark for a lot of the time; it seemed like people weren't interested in it for a while. Eventually the doors reopened, new staff was brought in, a lot of the equipment was replaced. The studio moved. They started broadcasting again, until it went dark and went through more transition into which we find the little station today.

The station has moved yet again and no longer resembles what it once was. Welcome to Norse Code Radio, which has no distinct format. Today the station is located in a small room with a laptop and a tiny audio mixer. I found these pictures through their website. As you can see, it's no longer a training ground for future broadcasters, it's your basic little internet radio station.

And that's not a bad thing at all.

In today's world, there's almost no point to learn how to do radio. Companies have cut their staff in half and the reality is that there are far fewer jobs available in radio anymore. Internet radio has allowed just about anyone to take to the web and broadcast their favorite music.

One thing that amateur internet broadcasters have to learn how to do is make themselves stand out. The problem is that there are far too many choices of internet stations to listen to. I could go on and find a hundred different stations playing basically the same thing.

One of the chief problems of amateur internet broadcasters (by which I mean, webstreams that are not streamed off of a commercial FM or AM radio station) is that they tend to lack any kind of personality. The station plays like a music service with ten or fifteen songs in a row, then a brief station identifier. I guess I'm in the minority when it comes to radio listeners who want to hear any chatter. I like chatter. I like listening to the wacky personalities. I like to hear someone introduce a song, or entertain me with a clever piece of production.

Norse Code Radio is somewhere in the middle. NCR isn't set up to be a training lab for future broadcasters, it's a place for an NKU student to play his favorite music for a couple of hours and have some fun. I've been sampling the station for the past few days and found that there is no real format. There are two-hour blocks of shows where the person plays specific types of music. Most of what I've heard is alternative and its variations, some classic rock, some modern rock, and an interesting Japanese rock show.

With all due respect, most of what I've listened to lacks personality, but two of the shows deserve mention. I listened after six on both Wednesday and Thursday nights and have enjoyed both the music and personalities of those who were on. It didn't sound like they were following any kind of format; they didn't have liners to read, promos to play, or even PSAs. It sounded to me like they were playing their favorite music and having some fun doing it.

That's really what WRFN boiled down to when I worked there from 1990 to 1996. A place to play your favorite music and have some fun. We all did have a lot of fun and most of us took our roles very seriously. I think it's great that WRFN is back in 2009, even if has lost the slogan we gave it around 1994, Northern's Best Rock.

I plan to listen more often and see how my old radio station is coming along.

I know a piece of equipment they desperately need, though, and that is a good processor. Winamp may be a great tool, but their levels are all over the place, one song plays loud, the next one is soft, the microphone is somewhere in the middle. I'd suggest an Omnia-3net and that would make them all the more listenable.

Otherwise, it's not bad to listen to, and I have pretty eclectic tastes.

Are you an author? Here's how not to impress me.

2009-02-05T10:34:00.005-05:00

I love meeting other writers. It always fascinates me to see what kinds of subjects interest other writers, whether fiction or nonfiction. Well, except poetry, I suppose. Poetry is so subjective that what one person likes, another person hates.

Let's set aside poetry for another discussion.

Writers who finish their books will invariably seek publication. I am doing that right now. Hopefully soon I will post a happy blog announcement saying that I have found an agent for my book. Hopefully that day comes soon.

Hopefully.

For many authors, though, that process takes too long. They want their books published now.

In some cases, they'll finish writing their novel in two months. ("I can dash off three hundred pages in two months," I heard one writer say once. That's nice, but how long did revision take?)

So they google "book publisher" and find a helpful list of vanity presses, and at the top is PublishAmerica, about the worst vanity press I have ever come across. This Washington Post article is three years old, but its information is still relevant. These writers, not doing any further research, will either doom their manuscripts to Publish America or pay several hundred to several thousand dollars to another vanity press like iUniverse, Trafford, xlibris, booksurge, and the list goes on and on.

This is not the way to get published. But many writers seem to feel that it is.

What doesn't impress me as an author is when I meet another author who tells me he or she has a book published through a vanity press. My first question is always, "Who published it?" because I want to know. Is it Random House? Dell? Bantam? Even Bleak House Books? If so, I find that very impressive. Here's an author who has done all the work necessary to achieve the status as "published author." (And here's an interesting aside, legitimately published authors rarely call themselves "published authors." That moniker usually belongs to the vanity press authors.)

In answer to my question, the author might respond with "Booksurge." Or God help me, "PublishAmerica."

And here's my typical response:

"Oh."

That doesn't impress me at all. This tells me right away that this author did not do his homework, did not do the proper research, and just paid someone to print his words.

I could pay Trafford a thousand bucks to print up all of my blog posts, but that doesn't make it saleable literature.

Now, there could also be other reasons why this author went vanity:

"I queried a hundred agents and/or publishers and they all turned me down."

"I'm too old to wait for around for a response from a publisher."

"The publishing industry is closed to new authors. They're mean that way, you know."

I won't refute all the above claims, except to say that if a hundred agents and/or publishers turned down your golden words, then there could be reasons why that happened: bad query letter, incorrect submission, publisher didn't want another book on that subject, book badly written despite your claim that your boyfriend loved it. The list goes on and on.

And the publishing industry being closed to new authors? Please. Stephen King won't live forever. Both Michael Crichton and John Updike recently passed on. New authors have to step in to take their place. Have to. Publishers want the next King, Rowling, or heck, even Stephanie Meyer. But many unpublished authors believe the crap that comes from the vanity presses.

Take this quote, for example. This is a direct quote from a representative from Trafford Publishing posted on the Absolute Write message board:

"New authors seeking publication face a great challenge because publishing companies flooded with unsolicited manuscripts simply do not have resources to take a chance on unproven talent."

This is an utter bullshit line used by vanity presses to try to convince their potential customers that publishers don't take new talent.

Aspiring authors, do some research. Get a copy of Writers Market 2009. Visit agentquery and read what agents are looking for. Visit their websites. Read their blogs. You'll see that many of them specifically say they are looking for new talent. Write a query letter until it shines and follow their guidelines explicitly and only submit what they want to see.

Then later, when I run into you someplace, you can say, "I'm published with Random House."

That's impressive.

Between acceptance and publication takes a long time, perhaps up to two years or more. I've seen some PublishAmerica authors' blogs that say something like:

Submitted manuscript: May 1.
Received reply: May 3.
Signed contract: May 5.
Book will be published: May 20.

And they're excited about this, proclaiming, "I'm a world famous published author!"

Dude, or dudette, No, no you're not. You're neither world famous nor actually published. You're an author because you wrote the words, but that's it.

It never seems to dawn on some of these people that there is something seriously wrong when a publisher accepted their work the day after they submit it. They don't see any red flags when said publisher says they "won't change a thing" to their manuscript because it's so perfect.

Then, a month or two later, their book comes out. And bookstores don't want the 75 page $25 novel that's listed as unreturnable with a bad discount. And authors don't know why.

Same thing with a typical vanity press. Bookstores don't want them. You can't get your booksurge novel in bookstores nationwide because there's no distribution with vanity presses and PublishAmerica. The vanity author must hand sell the books himself.

And sorry if I sound elitist, but that does not impress me.

On the flipside of all this is self-publishing, whether through lulu.com (which is a PRINTER) or doing it yourself at the local print shop or Kinkos. Self publishing is not a good option for fiction. Strange as this may seem, many authors disagree with me on this point. They'll print up their novel at the local print shop, sell it at the local book store, and that's pretty much the only place you can find it. If you've got a great book, you're doing your readers a great disservice by publishing this way.

Nonfiction, OTOH, has its place with self publishing, if the topic is narrow enough that commercial publishers aren't interested. If you have a small, but solid audience, you can sell your self-published nonfiction book yourself with minimal effort through your website or word of mouth. If you want it in bookstores, you have to be your own distributor and get them there yourself. And people, that's a lot of work. Your new job, besides writer, is salesperson.

I met an author who self published a Civil War book whose subject is a specific battle. The books are well written, beautiful, and reasonably priced. He distributes them himself quite successfully. This is a more rare case, but there are enough readers interested in the Civil War to justify this sort of publishing. I asked him why he didn't submit to a commercial house. He explained that he did and got offers for publication. However, he would have received the typical 10% royalty and didn't feel the return justified the ten or so years he put into researching and writing the book. And I agreed with him, although for me, the additional sales work involved would have been too much for me to handle.

I applaud him as a success story in the world of self publishing.

And that does impress me. I say, good job.

But in other cases, especially with fiction, publish with a commercial publisher if you want respect in the writing community.

Otherwise, you'll just be another vanity author.

The Cincinnati Subway: The Top Reasons why it never happened.

2009-02-02T09:48:00.004-05:00

Since more blog posts and websites are popping up around the web concerning Cincinnati's famous hole in the ground, I thought I'd take a few minutes and share a comprehensive (it's not that long! Seriously!) list of reasons why the subway project never came to fruition. This information can be found in my book, The Cincinnati Subway, but if you're too impatient to wait for a copy, then here we go.

Cincinnati was quite a different place in the late 1800s. Downtown was much more isolated, confined to the "Basin," the depressed area surrounded by the hills. Suburbs were developing on top of those hills. Outward towns like Blanchester were accessible by horse-drawn wagons.

The interurban railroad system linked Cincinnati to all the other major cities in the Midwest. This was the way to travel circa 1900.

Cincinnati's streetcar tracks were incomptible with at least half the interurbans' tracks. Some interurbans could drive right into downtown Cincinnati and drop off passengers where they wanted to go. Others had to drop off passengers on the outskirts, and they had to take a streetcar to their destination, which could add another hour onto their trip. Loaded down with suitcases and impatient children, this could prove quite a headache.

Meanwhile, the Miami-Erie Canal wound across the middle of downtown. By 1900, the canal was no longer used and was more or less becoming a fetid swamp.

So, here we go with the MAIN REASON CINCINNATI NEEDED THE RAPID TRANSIT SYSTEM:

It was twofold: eliminate the canal, and allow all interurbans to access the heart of downtown.

That's the reason.

Now, there were secondary reasons for the need for a rapid transit system: alleviate streetcar overcrowding, allow downtown workers an easier and faster way to get from downtown to their homes in area suburbs like Saint Bernard or Oakley.

So, in a nutshell, by 1913 they started making plans for the rapid transit system. World War I happened and pushed the schedule back a few years.

Construction started in 1920. By 1927, the money had run out.

But that's not the reason why the subway failed. If they, meaning Mayor Seasongood, felt it was a necessary project, he would have found the money. Perhaps after 1930 it could have been a good WPA project. But it wasn't. Why not?

Listen up: HERE'S THE MAIN REASON WHY THE SUBWAY FAILED.

The interurbans were going out of business.

Yup. It wasn't money, although that had a lot to do with it. Henry Ford is to blame. See, when the subway was planned, the automobile was The New Thing. People travelled everywhere by railroads and interurbans, and by streetcars in the city. But, around 1915 or so, the Model T started selling like the proverbial hotcake. Now, almost anyone could afford a cheap car. People stopped taking the interurbans. Interurbans started going out of business. Ergo, the subway was not needed.

There were other issues as well.

As automobile usage increased, streetcar ridership declined. There was less of a need to move passengers from streecars to a subway.

Because of the automobile, the shape of the city started to change. New roads were built. Existing roads were widened. Old buildings were torn down for parking garages. Why spend money on a subway when other construction took priority?

While the canal was indeed used for underground subway tubes, the initial need for the subway was now gone. The canal was gone. In its place was Central Parkway, a "grand boulevard" which would include fountains, benches, and trees. Now, even Central Parkway was eliminating the need for a subway.

The money did run out. Here's why. The rapid transit project was planned before WWI. They felt that $6 million was enough to do the whole loop. And around 1912/1913 it would have been. However, after the war, construction prices had literally doubled in cost. There was no way for them to have predicted that. So, they built what they could with the money they had, which was only some construction on the western half. Also, there was some overzealous spending during the time, that could have been linked to graft and politicians scratching each others' backs, but that has yet to be actually proven. I believe that paperwork was shredded.

Last but not least was Cincinati's savior, the great Mayor Seasongood. Yes, he overturned bossism. Yes he reorganized City Hall into a nine-person committee. But he was dealing with the boss-appointed Board of Rapid Transit Commissioners. The Mayor did not like the Board, and the Board did not like the Mayor. His continuous clashes with them over every little thing further solidified his stance that a rapid transit system was not to be continued after their terms of office had expired in 1930.

As a result, Seasongood did not look ahead to Cincinnati's future needs and determine that while Cincinnati didn't necessarily need a complete rapid transit system in 1929, it certainly might twenty to thirty years later.

And now today, Cincinnati could definitely benefit from a modern light rail system. The problem is that if they started building one now, it wouldn't be ready for twenty years. By then we'll all have flying cars and won't need subways.

Which is why voters won't vote for the issue when it goes on the ballot. They're already paying sales tax increases for the new Paul Brown Stadium for those fab fab fabulous Bengals, as well as other things like the new baseball stadium and Fort Washinton Way. Light Rail would result in another sales tax increase, and most residents won't be able to use the light rail system when it's complete. They'll be dead.

So, there it is. That's why Cincinnati doesn't have a rapid transit system today. Never again don't let anyone tell you it was just a money issue.

The new Doritos "Free Doritos!" Superbowl Commercial winner. Go Dave and Joe!

2009-02-02T09:33:00.003-05:00

"Two nobodies from nowhere" walked off with the million dollar prize from Doritos for their Superbowl commercial that beat two Budweiser commercials.

People, that's huge!

The winners are Dave and Joe Herbert. My wife went to high school with both Dave and his wife, and we hang out periodically. Dave told us about the commercial a few months ago and showed it to us on a little portable TV set/DVD player (given to them by Doritos for their 2006 commercial entry). I was blown away by it and said, "Oh, that has got to win!" I mean, a snowglobe thrown into a crotch? How could that lose? And the acting was dead-on, too. Overall, it was a quality commerciall, and professionally done.

Voters liked it because they won.

See the commercial here.

Dave told us about a trivia board game they had been developing, and now it looks like they have the money to produce them.

Go Dave! You are on your way!

New updates

2009-02-01T08:50:00.002-05:00

I guess it's clear, for anyone who stumbles on my edge of the world, that I haven't blogged much. That's changing, though. I've had a busy year. For the past ten months or so I was working overtime at my job which included almost every weekend. The time I had left over was enough for me to work on one of my hobbies, which was restoring a 1967 Mercury Park Lane convertible, or my novel, or some house chore that screamed at me to tend to.

Many things have changed in the last month.

The car is about 75% complete, but needs an engine rebuild. I had planned to work overtime to pay for it.

When I wasn't working on the car, I was writing my book. The book is finished now. Several beta readers have it, and I am actively querying literary agents right now.

A baby is on her way. I am expecting my first daughter in early March. I have had to prepare a bedroom in our house for the nursery. This room was formerly my room, my library, my little man-space. I had to move all my crap into the spare back bedroom which is half the size of my library and strip the wallpaper and prepare the walls for painting. My new library is under reorganization right now.

Meanwhile, I am unemployed. I was officially laid off from work on January 16. The wrecked economy is to blame for this one. There was a major work slow-down and more than half the workforce was let go. I hear that they're still letting full-time employees go. I was a contractor, and had been for two and a half years.

Now, with no paycheck, I'll have to rely on unemployment checks to subsidize my wife's paycheck. I have no health insurance on myself anymore, either. My wife has insurance, and will have it on the baby. But my own boo-boos will have to heal on their own without the aid of a doctor.

My job loss of course gives me the time I need to do the things I didn't have the time for before. This includes preparing my novel for submission. Done. Work in the house, being done. Work on the car? No, can't afford that luxury any longer. I'll be lucky if I can afford gas for the beast.

This also gives me the time to blog. Blogging can take a while for me to do. Before I had a choice: work on the car, work on my novel, or blog. I had to choose the novel because I wanted to finish it. Alas, now I have the time to blog and I have interesting topics to discuss in upcoming days.

I am also beginning work on a new project for Arcadia Publishing. This is a book about Beverly Hills Country Club in Southgate, Kentucky. Not the Supper Club that everyone remembers, most notably for the 1977 fire. No, this is the Beverly Hills of the 1950s, when this nightclub was the hottest club in town. Look for this book at the end of this year.

Upcoming topics: local radio versus satellite radio, annoying radio commercials, Cincinnati streetcars, and of course writing books. Vanity presses versus commercial publishing houses. Guess where I stand on that topic?

The Victoria Lindsay Beating Video. Transcript of the Newly Released video

2008-05-28T19:57:00.006-05:00

Like nearly everyone else in the world, I was touched by the story of Victoria Lindsay, the Florida teenager who was beaten by a group of her friends and videotaped to show on youtube and myspace. I was absolutely shocked by the first video, and could not get it out of my mind. Then the second one was released at the end of April, which showed what led to the beating.

With the new video I was interested in what the girls were saying to each other, and how it escalated into the arguments. As a writer, I listen to how people talk and communicate feelings with one another. These two videos demonstrated such emotion that I wanted to learn more about them.

So, I transcribed the second video.

The video is available through various Florida news outlets and searchable through yahoo news. I watched these, noticing that some were easier to hear than others. Also, some were shorter or longer than others. Finally, there was a FOX News report on youtube that showed a few more seconds than the ones in the news outlets.

I put them all together for a complete transcription of the events in the second video. Time permitting, I plan to transcribe the first video at a later date.

The transcript follows below.

The players include Victoria Lindsay, April Cooper, Brittini Hardcastle, Britney Mays, Mercedes Nichols, and two others who didn't appear on the video. In the transcript, I reference Victoria as "V," April Cooper as "A," Brittini Hardcastle as "BH," and Britney Mays as "BM." If I heard a voice whom I didn't know belonged to, I simply labeled it as "Girl." "CAM" refers to the girl holding the camera who I THINK was Cara Murphy.

The second girl who appears in the video holding the cell phone I THINK is Britney Mays. Please correct me if I'm wrong.

The videos had "beeps" to cover up the naughty words. I've typed in the words I think they spoke. Otherwise, it says "beep" or "garbled" when I couldn't understand it.

I think what's interesting is that 2/3 of the way through, after the lights come on and Brittini Hardcastle is taunting Victoria, you can tell that she is running out of "fuel" for her arguments. At this point, she is grasping at straws for things to dig at Victoria. So she pulls out the "whore" statement.

The original tape is reportedly thirty minutes long. I wonder if someday officials will release the entire thing.

My heart goes out to Victoria Lindsay. I hope that you are recovering from your ordeal and please know that the whole world feels for you.

This site has a good copy of the video. Feel free to follow along.

(video starts)

V: It was my sister and I told you that.

A: No, it was you on the phone. It was definitely you.

V: And I was drunk, and you know that.

A: So what?

V: So? I was being stupid.

A: So, learn to shut your fuckin’ mouth. You want to talk your shit, go over and talk it to my face.

V: April, (beeped) her.

A: You want to talk on the phone, you want to talk on the computer, so now’s the time to talk to my face.

V: And I’m telling you right now, that I was drunk, and it was stupid, and I’ve grown up since then.

A: You haven’t. You really haven’t.

V: I really have.

A: You haven’t. You’re still a whore, you still fuck every person on the planet—

V: I’m a whore?

A: You are.

V: How am I a whore?

A: Oh my God. Your own sister tells me you’re a fucking whore.

V: My sister lost her virginity when she was fourteen.

A: Okay . . .

V: I am not a whore.

A: You fucked every guy on the planet . . . .

CAM: It was one guy, though.

A: You went with a (beep) Your own family don’t even want you in their house.

V: Name a guy I fucked that you—

A: Elmer, Elmer, Elmer

April attacks Victoria.

V: Wait! Wait!

CAM: Oh yeah, baby. Oh, yeah.

V: (while attacked) Please, I’m calling the cops. I’ll leave.

Attack stops, Victoria gets up.

A: Go.

(Beep)

V: I’ll fucking leave. Mercedes, give me your phone.

A (or other girl): Go.

Victoria goes down hallway.

V: Give me your phone, Mercedes, thanks for being my friend.

(Girl, BM?) I told you (beep)

V: I knew this shit was gonna happen, I told her it was planned.

(Girl, BM? A?) Did I tell you to go?

V: (Beep) Yells. Mercedes. . .

V: Yells.

BH: (over V) Don’t yell at Mercedes. Do not yell at Mercedes.

V: (Garbled) You know what I’ve been through.

BH: Don’t yell at Mercedes. Don’t.

V: I care abut Mercedes. I am not yelling at her.

BH: I don’t care. You’re not yelling at her, then what the fuck is? You’re yelling.

V: I’m so upset right now, I can’t even—I don’t understand what I’m doing, okay?

CAM (over V) I need fo—I need light.

V: I’m so frustrated (beep) I’m sorry.

BH: Okay, listen to me, what this, what about, bluh,

BM crosses between into room.

BM: (Answering phone) Hello?

BH: What about me and you? What the fuck’s been going on in the past year?

BM: Can I call you back please?

V: Ashley,

Girls talking: That’s what started it . . . It’s always someone else’s fault.

Girl: It’s always someone else’s fault, isn’t it?

BH: What’s this got to do with Ashley?

BM: (Continues on phone)

V: ’Cause I got involved _____ with my best friend, you know that.

BH: I don’t ca—

Girl: It’s always someone else’s fault. It’s always someone else’s fault.

Girl: (beep)— by your own house.

V: Someone just give me a phone. I will leave, if you all hate me, that’s fine. I will leave.

Girl: We all do, so go.

V: I need a phone, I have nowhere to go.

Girl: Someone get her the phone. You brought this all on yourself, honey, all of it. It’s no one else’s fault but yours.

V: Will you let me use that phone?

Girl: So, why’d you tell Mercedes that, um, I didn’t like you?

V: She told me you don’t like me.

BH: I don’t! I don’t like you.

Girl: (Garbled) I don’t have a problem with you, girl. I’ll hang out with her.

Girl: She doesn’t like you.

Girls: Yelling, incoherent. You said, hang out for five minutes. You even said you do not like her.

V: (beep) I was like, fine, then I don’t like her if she don’t like me. I said I don’t have a problem with it.

Girl: Can we turn the light on, please?

Girl: Twist the light bulb, you gotta twist the light bulb.

Girl: Oh my God.

Lights come on.

Girl: Oh, there you go.

BH: Why’d you have to turn away?

V: I’m waiting for the phone so I can leave.

BH: Well, me and you were talking, and that’s kind of rude I think. You don’t think it’s rude, if I was talking to you—Oh, no, I thought you were done—

V: I was talking to her.

BH: No, well ____ then.

V: Okay, well, you have to say.

BH: And you’re saying that you’re not a whore? How long did—no, honestly answer this, how long did you date Elmer? How long?

V: Elmer is—do you want to call him? (beep) I didn’t even (beep) He even—

BH: You didn’t (beep) _____ my best friend that you did.

V: Let me call him right now and put him on speakerphone.

BH: I’ve already talked to him.

V: Now that you all are here, let me call him and put him on speakerphone and say Elmer, what did you do?

BH: Why did he break up with you, then? Because you—

Arguing

BH: Bullshit! Don’t yell at me. Do not yell at me. Do not.

V: I’m ____ for Will. Me and Will both got back together.

Arguing

V: . . . do anything.

BH: Why aren’t you together now? Because he doesn’t want to.

V: Because he’s in Korea.

BH: Because he doesn’t want to. That’s why.

V: You guys don’t know nothing about me.

BH: I don’t know nothing?

V: About me and Will?

BH: Oh, I’ve heard plenty of stories.

V: You guys can’t even name a guy that I had in the last six months.

BH: Let’s see, Elmer, Uh-huh. Oh, oh, oh! What about Will? He had that big old train. Hm, yeah, that train. Or—or, Sandy Wood in the shower with, six guys, take showers with . . . .

(garbled)

V: What are you talking about? (beep) shower

BH: You, too, (garbled) being so damn bad in there.

Girl: I don’t know why you’re bringing everything up, she’s just going to deny everything.

V: I’ll tell you the people I’ve fucked, I’m not ashamed. They’re all on (garbled)

BH: How many guys? How many guys? And you’re sixteen, and you’re calling your sister . . .

Arguing

BM: (beep) Why don’t you stay together, she’s been with Jack since eighth grade.

V: I was with Wilbur three years.

BM: Okay, how old were you?

BH: Okay, okay, if you love him so much, how the fuck did you go from him to three, five, six other different guys and fuck him? You don’t do that. If you loved someone you don’t do that.

(FROM FOX NEWS GRETA VIDEO)

V: (continued) Because we broke up for a long time.

BH: (shouting) I don’t give a fuck if you break up.

(CUTS TO BH HITTING V IN FRONT OF DOOR)

V: (crying) Okay, Brittini, okay. (garbled)

BH: I don’t want you talking about me (garbled)

V: (garbled) . . . . what to say.

BH: Say—

(Ends)

Where have I been for the past year?

2008-05-28T19:51:00.002-05:00

It's been a year since my last post. Where have I been? I'll try to be succinct.

I've been mostly working my full-time job and writing a novel. Currently I am finishing the novel and will go into more detail about its subject in a later post. Working full time and writing part time gives me less time to post in my blog. But I am here to catch things up.

My last post dealt with MOJO becoming Supertalk FM. A year later, Supertalk is no more. It lasted only one year.

I hate it when I'm right all the time.

It wasn't doing well in the ratings, just as I predicted. I also predicted its demise. It has since been replaced with the new 96 Rock. This was a good idea in theory, but, unfortunately, I find that the music is kind of the same as what we already hear on WEBN and, well, WEBN.

So, 96 Rock is the same old same old.

Don't get me started on the Two Angry Guys, hosts of the worst morning radio show in Cincinnati. I'll complain about them later.

How to Kill a Perfectly Good Radio Station

2006-11-02T16:22:00.000-05:00

In an earlier post I lamented the end of MOJO 94.9 FM radio in Cincinnati. Cumulus, who owned it, sold the MOJO format to Radio One who created a new MOJO format on 100.3 FM.

Meanwhile, they simulcast WYGY (96.5 FM) on both 96.5 and 94.9 and announced a format change for the 96.5 frequency. WYGY was moving permanently to 94.9.

Two weeks ago an article appeared in the Cincinnati Post about a possible all-talk format for 96.5.

On Halloween and November 1, 96.5 played 48 hours of nonstop Twilight Zone Radio, half-hour audio dramas adapted from the TV series. Since I'm a fan of audio dramas, I listened all day both days while I was at work. Needless to say, the programs were of the highest of quality and featured name actors. If Cumulus kept 96.5 as an all audio drama format all the time, I would be a dedicated listener.

But no, on November 3 they launched their new format: all talk, all syndicated, all satellite-delivered national radio talk shows. Nothing local. If you want local, go to AM.

Well you know, that's exactly where all the talk stations are. AM. It's where they've always been, and you will find an over-abundance of both national and local talk shows on a variety of stations on Cincinnati's AM dial. There's exactly one local music station, the only place in town you'll find oldies from the 1950s and '60s, 1160 WDJO.

One may ask, why in the world would Cumulus pull such a boneheaded maneuver as putting an all-satellite FM station on the air instead of, oh I don't know, say a station with a music format that isn't presently in Cincinnati?

As I pointed out in an earlier post, radio isn't about the listeners. It's about the on-air product and how much advertising they can sell on it. The only truly important staff members in a radio station are the salespeople. Everyone else is just lowly-paid extras they'd rather do without. DJs? A voicetracked computer can run the show for free. Promotions? Who cares about local listeners? Engineering? Well, keep just one guy around in case a computer goes down. (What, you mean for all seven stations? Yes, we mean that.) Office staff? Well, fire the extraneous employees. The remainders will just have to do three times the work. They should be grateful they have jobs.

Think I'm kidding?

A perfect example is the new WPRV found on 94.9 FM on the Cincinnati dial. Here was a beautiful opportunity to build a new format from the ground up. New music, new jocks, new imaging, new call letters, and a whole new audience. Instead they opted for the cheapest thing the corporate suits could think of: satellite talk shows.

Here's a big secret for you: they cost either nothing or next to nothing to broadcast. National radio talk shows are self-sufficient. They carry their own national commercials and leave room for local spots.

If a local station wants cheap programming, this is what they do.

Let's look at the lineup.

Mancow in the morning, followed by Glenn Beck, Bill O'Reilley, sports, Phil Valentine, more sports!, and Rusty Humphries. The overnight shift isn't listed, but I imagine it's more sports.

They have five hours of sports talk. Five hours! As if all the AM sports talk stations just aren't enough!

It has been recommended they add a couple local talk shows. We'll see how long it takes for that to happen, especially when the next Arbitron book shows a major drop in ratings. Maybe they can hire away Gary Burbank. Think he's available?

And we have the Dawn Patrol on WEBN in the mornings, like 'em or not, they are usually entertaining. But Mancow? Why in heaven's name him? Why not just stick us with The Greaseman? (Oh yes, he no longer does morning radio? Anyone remember why? )

So, what it all boils down to is that Cumulus has given us radio redundancy. What is found on 94.9 can be found anywhere else on either dial, both better and local.

The thing is, the corporate suit-wearers don't think local radio listeners care about their localities. If they could sell it, every city would have all the same radio stations, all playing the same network material. In a way, we already have that with Sirius and XM satellite radio, but that is subscription only. If we choose to, we can buy that service and listen.

But all-talk on 94.9 FM will be its death-knell.

Now, if that's not bad enough, they're making things even worse.

On Tuesday Entercom bought WUBE, WKRQ, WGRR, and WAQZ from CBS. They then swapped WGRR with Cumulus's WYGY (country), so Entercom could own both Cincinnati country stations (WUBE and WYGY) and have a monopoly on the format! Wait, is that legal? I guess so. . . .

Here's where things start going further downhill: 94.9 The Star will move from 94.9 to 97.3FM where currently the only alternative station in town, 97.3 WAQZ resides. WYGY will become 94.9 The Wolf. They've even already swapped office locations and studios!

Goodbye Everything Alternative 97.3 It was nice to know you. (It's rumoured that most of the staff has already been fired.)

The Wolf will play more top-40 country and have a high energy format. Where have I heard this before? Oh yeah, when 96.5 was Y96, Young Country in the 1990s. If you liked listening to the "puking-jock" on-air style, you heard it on Y96. It went away for a reason.

Does all this make sense? I hope Cincinnati radio listeners can figure it all out in the near future. My head just hurts from blogging about it.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how to kill a radio station.

Gee, perhaps someone should write a book about it. Oh wait, someone is. Me.

Audio on the Web

2006-10-05T15:54:00.000-05:00

Continuing from the previous post . . .

I had been sitting on The Adventures of the Galactic Star Force Power Squad since 1993, sometimes playing it for the friends of mine who appeared in it. Then, around 2004 I found starwars fanworks, a website dedicated to showcasing fan-produced, amateur audio programs with a Star Wars theme. They also feature "audio parodies," of which Galactic is certainly one. I contacted the webmaster and told him about my program, and he agreed to feature it on the website. Thanks to that site, Galactic can now be heard by people all over the world. Granted, it hasn't been a lot of people, but I do hope they enjoy it. It'd be nice to find out if they did. I've never heard.

I was inclined to create a prequel in 2005. So, I wrote it and we recorded in June. Visit the galactic site to hear it yourself.

I've discovered a lot of great audio productions through starwars fanworks. Some of them have Simon and Schuster quality to them. Some, while having solid production values, might lack in acting or story. The common factors among them are that they are all produced very well, with close attention given to music and sound effects. They also all take themselves very seriously. Star Wars is not a joke.

Where does Galactic fall into the fan audio community? It's a SF parody, and borrows elements from Star Wars, Hitchhikers, Star Trek, and a few other places (event the Simpsons!). It was also a rushed job. I had two weeks to write it, rehearse, record, and edit. Juggling that with a full class load and a part time job, I barely made my deadline.

Its acting is okay, but I did try to use a good variety of sound effects and music. It suffers from poor sound quality, caused by a bad final mix dub. But, over a decade later, all those things together--even the quality--make it what it is. It is Galactic as it is.

I do however, like it better than other parodies available on starwars fanworks, but that's really because I'm biased.

However, there's a lot good stuff on there too. I'll talk about that next post.

Audio Shows and Theater of the Mind

2006-10-04T18:50:00.000-05:00

I discovered the Jack Benny Program, Great Gildersleeve, and Fibber McGee and Molly when I was about fourteen years old. During that time, WVXU in Cincinnati played "When Swing Was King" all weekend long, hosted by Mark Magistrelli. When I tuned in to 91.7 one fateful day during a winter's break from school, I was introduced to music I had never really listened to before.

Being a normal teenager, I listened mostly to pop music and had a vague familiarity with big band music. I found that day that I liked it, and listened all afternoon long. At 5:00, the old time radio shows started, I believe with Great Gildersleeve. That was the first time in my life I had ever heard a radio program. After all, I was raised on television.

I really liked Great Gildersleeve, his funny laugh, his boisterousness, and I thought it was a funny show. I didn't know this was strictly an "audio only" show. You see, I thought I was listening to a stage presentation, a play maybe--however they did it back then, possibly acting the show in front of an audience, with sets and everything. But the voice and sound effects were so well done that I assumed it was a very well-miked stage play. The audience helped create that illusion. I could see in my mind everything that was going on, and visualized Gildersleeve as Ralph Kramden from the Honeymooners. In fact, that's still how I see him.

Jack Benny came next. I can't remember my specific opinions, but I do recall thinking it was easily the funniest thing I had ever heard. Again, it was like listening to a play, but was kind of like the Tonight Show with a funny skit and storyline. I pictured Rochester looking like Scatman Caruthers from The Shining. I still do, too.

I believe Fibber McGee and Molly came next. I didn't like it as much as Jack Benny, but thought it was entertaining.

I tuned in every weekend after that and became a fan of the shows. It wasn't until years later I found out the actors were all radio actors who stood around a microphone holding their scripts. Later I even saw a picture in a Jack Benny book that looked exactly like that.

That's how my interest in theater of the mind audio started. Also, I've been a continuing fan of both Great Gildersleeve and Jack Benny until today.

But when I was first introduced to radio dramas and comedy, I knew I wanted to do something like that myself, create my own radio comedy.

I got the chance in 1993 when I recorded the Adventures of the Galactic Star Force Power Squad! You can read all about that experience here.

In 2005 I recorded a prequel to that episode. Find it here.

Where is all this going, you ask? I'll talk about other audio programs available all over the web.

Halloween Music: Why Midnight Syndicate is the Best

2006-10-01T06:59:00.000-05:00

If you visit a haunted house this Halloween, you may hear some spooky music being played over the speakers while you're waiting in line, or you may hear it inside the attraction itself. You may also spot a poster that reads, "Music for this haunted house has been provided by Midnight Syndicate."

Then you might think, who or what is Midnight Syndicate?

Here's the Wikipedia entry.

Certainly not mainstream, and unlikely to ever have a music video, Midnight Syndicate is easily the best "gothic horror" soundscape recording group on the market. But it's not sold year-round in music stores. If you want to buy it retail, you have to visit the Halloween stores that pop up late September and through October every year. Otherwise, you'll have to order online.

Midnight Syndicate is great to listen to around Halloween, but a lot of people, myself included, like listening to it all-year round. I understand it has a big following among the Goth community, too.

I've described Midnight Syndicate as "moody orchestral music." But it's a lot more than just that. Each CD is a soundscape, a theater-of-the-mind soundtrack with varying levels of intensity and style. It is quite literally like listening to a movie soundtrack of a truly frightening film.

Each CD release gets progressively better than the one before, although I can recommend any of them (but I have not heard their debut CD). For instance, Gates of Delirium is a "visit to Haverghast Asylum," and during the opening number, "Welcome," you can almost envision title credits rolling on the screen. But there is no accompanying movie to go with this CD. Any images will occur inside your mind provided imaginatively by the music and sound effects.

Following Gates is The 13th Hour, which in my opinion is their best next to Gates. They have eight CDs out now, and their latest, Out of the Darkness, is on my birthday list for this year (my birthday is October 31, of course). These CDs are awesome for any Halloween event or trick-or-treating, or for year-round enjoyment.

As a Halloween afficianado, I've heard many other Halloween CDs and records. Most of them are disappointing at best. One such example is Manheim Steamroller's Halloween CD, produced by Chip Davis of the Christmas CD fame. The reason this CD fails is because it's too happy and bouncy. You can't have a Halloween party (for adults) and play this CD. You might as well put in the Monster Mash. I bought this expecting a good, dark, moody musical experience. Instead, its full of dance rhythms and fast tempos. It's not Halloween. It includes a second CD with sound effects which are okay. If you need good sound effects for your Halloween haunt, the second CD is good, but some editing will be required.

Martha Stewart, would you believe, came out with her own CD of sound effects titled Spooky Scary Sounds for Halloween. It isn't bad. I've heard much much worse. It is full of various good sound effects. The problem is, though, that the same sound effects repeat throughout the CD. If you can find this CD and pay a couple bucks for it, it's worth it. If not, pass on it.

Erich Kunzel's Chiller will always be at the top of the list for quality Halloween music. But when the Cincinnati Pops Orchestra performs the music, how could you expect anything less than perfection? Recorded in DDD, it's crystal clear. If you listen closely with headphones, you can hear the wind instrument musicians take breaths before playing flutes. The music is awesome, and it even has sound effects of a frightened woman running through the rain looking for help at a scary old house, and the shower scene is recreated as well.

And any Halloween isn't complete without the Halloween (movie) soundtrack.

There are a lot more quality Halloween soundscapes out there, but Midnight Syndicate is the one I recommend. Don't waste your time or money on no-name department store Halloween CDs.

Speaking of department stores, when I was a kid in the early 1970s, my mother and I were shopping in October and I spotted a record album called Sounds to Make You Shiver.

This record had everything. It had an awesome cover, and inside it contained a visit to a crazy haunted house filled with creaking doors, and out-of-tune piano, witch cackling, some laughing guy torturing a screaming woman, shutters slamming open and closed in the wind, and so much more. Side B was a series of the sound effects used on Side A.

I listened to this record millions of times. It was one of my childhood icons.

It disappeared a few years later. Last year, 2005, I did a search on google and found a few blogs reminiscing about the record. I found it on eBay and bought one. The cover was just as I remembered, and I listened to it and discovered it wasn't as frightening to me as an adult as it was when I was younger. Huh. But it was still fun and I played it on my porch speakers during trick-or-treating. The trick-or-treaters seemed to like it, and it did add to the atmosphere. Unfortunately, as a 35 year old adult, I found it a little cheesey. But it's cool to when you're a kid. And you know what? I still enjoy it despite its cheesiness.

Stop by again soon as I discuss which Halloween haunted houses in the Cincinnati area are the best, just in case you've never been to one and you're wondering which to go to first.

So long, MOJO, it was good to know you.

2006-09-19T16:48:00.000-05:00

It's always a shame when your favorite radio station disappears one day. That station you enjoyed listening to for your years is suddenly gone, replaced with something else, playing music you don't want to listen to and staffed by DJs you have never heard before.

It's happening in Cincinnati again. WMOJ is changing frequencies and formats as of Thursday, September 21. See the Enquirer article for more information.

MOJO wasn't my favorite station, but I enjoyed it. I also felt a close connection to it many listeners wouldn't: I built the place and used to work with most of the remaining staff.

MOJO has been on the air for seven and a half years, and is I believe the last of the MOJO stations in the country. MOJO played "urban gold," or Jammin' Oldies, as it is better known. It was also the only station in town you could hear disco every day. It played a lot of great music and had a solid listenership and a lot of fans.

A few months ago, Cumulus Media bought Susquehanna Radio Corporation (who owned WMOJ, WRRM, and WYGY in Cincinnati). As is usual in the wise, great, and powerful radio companies, Cumulus found it necessary to fire a third of its staff, not just in Cincinnati, but in its former Susquehanna stations nationwide. I should point out that the Cincinnati stations were already operating with almost a skeleton crew. Now, it's even fewer, and remaining employees have had to take on double or even triple duties, most for the same pay. If they don't like it, corporate says, there's the door. It's a harsh business.

Anyway, Cumulus decided to sell off MOJO to Radio One, who is changing the format and frequency, and will replace the 94.9 frequency with WYGY, which, of course, will cost a fortune in changed billboard advertising, tv commercials, and anything else with the logo. Yup, money truly well spent. Better let go more staff so they can save even more money.

96.5 will now have a new station on its frequency, one that has not been announced, but we will learn about Thursday.

Meanwhile, MOJO is running promos advertising its frequency and format change. Now, this is where it gets interesting. Normally, when a station changes formats, what happens is this: new company buys station. Everything normal, but staff is nervous. Friday, everything normal. Monday, whole staff is fired and replaced with new staff. Confused listeners tune in on Monday and hear a new station. Station gets flooded with thousands of phone calls.

That's what normally happens, but this time Radio One advertised the change, I suppose so listeners could find the new station.

But, no more Jammin' Oldies will be heard in Cincinnati.

I know one big problem that MOJO had was that it played the same exact music heard on its airwaves seven years ago. Every single day brought the same exact music. But nobody seemed to mind. At least they added music periodically and were slowly inching through the '80s. I was waiting to see if they would eventually play music of the 1990s. Many non-urban groups were heard too, including Queen (Another One Bites the Dust) and even the Rolling Stones. I suppose these were added because of their "disco sound" but I always found it odd.

It doesn't matter. The Jammin' Oldies format has been retired and the Cincinnati listeners will surely miss it. However, radio is first and foremost a business. Modern commercial radio's main purpose is to sell advertising, period. It's not to entertain or educate. It's to sell commercials. What is sandwiched between the 60 second spots doesn't matter, as long as the time is sold. Corporate radio does not care about the individual listener. They care only about big numbers and the bottom line. If the format doesn't bring in good numbers, the format is changed.

Never mind what the listeners want; that doesn't matter.

As an alternative to this, you can listen to the noncommercial stations, such as WAIF as I mentioned in a previous blog entry, or you can purchase satellite radio and listen to whatever commercial-free format you desire. Online too, we have live365 and a host of other online radio venues.

As for MOJO, I guess most of the air staff will probably be let go, if not all of them. That's what happens in radio. It's a shame. The on-air personality has a family, kids in school, and has planted roots. Then suddenly he's fired and will have seek work elsewhere, most likely in a different station across the country.

But that's what happens, and is one big reason why I didn't pursue an on-air career and chose engineering instead. Why I don't do that anymore is a different story.

We'll miss you, MOJO. My best wishes go out to any employees displaced by the new company, most of whom I trained on technical studio procedures and I've been able to call my friends, inlcuding Keith Mitchell, Tori Turner, Dwayne Luna, Quincy Watkins, and the part time staff who were always there on evenings, weekends, and holidays. I hope you all find new jobs as rewarding as MOJO was for you.

To learn about radio and its early days, please check out my book, Stepping Out in Cincinnati.

Cincinnati Bluegrass Radio

2006-09-13T19:29:00.000-05:00

I enjoy listening to a variety of music. Since I entered my mid-30s, though, I've been nostalgiac for music of the 1980s, especially during my high school years. Strangely, though, throughout the '90s I avoided that music and refused to even acknowledge it. Now I actually like listening to the hair bands I used to detest so much.

I also love the music of the 1930s and '40s, and own a sizable collection of 78 RPM records, mostly collected from eBay. Locally I listen to WMKV which plays mostly big band and nostalgia. It's a wonderful station that I was actually a small part of for a short time. Many nice people there. If you're in Cincinnati, they're on 89.3 FM. Otherwise, check them out online.

Also, live365 is an excellent place to hear any kind of music. Any kind imaginable. And it's free. It has thousands of online radio stations to choose from, including big band stations, comedy, phone pranks, and bluegrass.

I love bluegrass. The combination of banjos and guitars and the twangy vocals makes for enjoyable and fun music. And there's nothing like a live bluegrass show either.

If you're in Cincinnati, you must check out WAIF, 88.3 FM on the dial and online here.

My discussions about radio life will be saved for a future post, but in short, WAIF is a community radio station with a volunteer on-air staff. No commercials, just great music and a variety of unique programs.

My favorite is Cuttin' the Grass, hosted by Lee Elliot and his cohost Moonbeam, Saturday mornings, 8 a.m. to 11. I have been listening to Cuttin' the Grass for a couple of years now, and since I work Saturday mornings, I hear the entire show from start to finish.

This is like no show you've ever heard, and if you like bluegrass, you must listen. Lee Elliot is the genial host with downhome sayings and humor and is just a joy to listen to. He is a virtual bluegrass encyclopedia and plays an incredible variety of music during the three hours. Among other things, he is a "registered Kentucky Colonel" and seems to be plugged into every regional bluegrass event in the tristate area.

Moonbeam is his on-air female companion, a yin to his yang, if that makes sense. Between cuts of music they banter about bluegrass personalities and bands, and sometimes touch on Elliot's take on national news events. Moonbeam is a lot more than just a laughing sidekick, though; she contributes a great deal to the show, and together they make a wonderfully entertaining combination. While they tend to ramble at times, they don't detract from the music which is their main focus. And . . . they're volunteers. They don't get paid; they do it for the love of the music. Very commendable way to spend their Saturday mornings.

This is local, live radio at its absolute finest. If you're tired of listening to the same old stuff on commercial radio, then you must listen to Cuttin' the Grass. Check out the show's website here.

Update: Lee Elliot and Moonbeam have left WAIF due to station politics and other issues. Tim Strong now hosts Cuttin' the Grass.

And just a small plug for my book Stepping Out in Cincinnati, if you want to see the kinds of early country bands that paved the way for modern bluegrass, check out page 73 for a five-piece string band from 1930. On page 116 you can see the Happy Days in Dixie ensemble, with Dixie Dale on vocals, which played for WCKY in 1933. Turn to page 119 and you'll see the band who played for the Circle Arrow Show, which played Sunday nights on WLW in 1949.

And, we're at it again!

2006-09-13T19:07:00.000-05:00

I have not updated my blog in a long time, obviously. Here I am at last, to tell you what's been going on.

First off, my children's book is still unagented and unpublished. To date, I have over fifty rejections from both agents and publishers. I had to make a decision to either keep researching agents and submitting, or wait the remaining ones out and start my next book. The thing was, the constant querying was keeping me from writing, and I had a couple book ideas kicking around in my head I wanted to explore.

That, and I was still unemployed and still searching for a job.

So at the end of May, I started a novel. And now, in September, I am nearly finished at over 350 pages. It is a horror novel, unlike most you have ever seen or read.

Between now and then I've continued to collect rejection letters. Well, actually, it's dwindled to a dead stop, and I suppose it's possible I might get some more from the agencies that have not yet responded, but I'm not holding my breath on those. I'm still waiting on a rejection from one of the publishers I queried in May, whose turnaround time was five months.

After I finish the first draft of my novel, though, I'll start querying in earnest once again.

Meanwhile, I finally found a full time job and began in early August. It's a very good job and draws on my electrical wiring skills I've learned in past jobs. It's in an assembly plant for big machines, and it pays very well. The hours are 5:30 a.m. to 3, weekends included. This severely limits my time to write, but I'm still generating words every day.

I have a lot of different topics to discuss on my blog, so please visit back if you happen to stumble across my ramblings. I have a lot of pop culture things to talk about, not wishing to intrude on my friend booksteve. Also, stay tuned for a primer on Cincinnati radio. If you're in local media, your name might be mentioned.

Next post is about bluegrass, so please read on.

My Continued Agent Search

2006-04-29T13:04:00.000-05:00

Although I've been unemployed more than employed in the last couple months, I have been forced to spend more time looking for a job than an agent for my book. So, my agent search has been largely on hold, but the rejection letters do keep trickling in, and I did receive another on April 28.

At present time, 52 agencies and one publisher have been queried. I've collected 25 rejections. I have not received any personal feedback on any of the queries. Most rejections say they cannot take on any more clients, and others don't give any reason at all.

Since I'm unemployed now, I plan to continue submitting, but I must focus on my job search first and foremost. I also have a new book to write which I have not yet begun since I've been spending the majority of my time hunting for a new job. To augment my agent search, I plan to submit to publishers as well. More updates to follow. I have lots of subjects to talk about in the coming days so please keep checking back.

Where have I been lately?

2006-04-29T08:11:00.000-05:00

It's been over a month since I posted last. I've been around, but have been going through periods of employment and unemployment at my current job.

The government reports that the economy has improved and unemployment is on the decrease. Then why do businesses continue to close and lay off employees?

Case in point: Ford is closing F150 plants around the country. 1,700 Cincinnati jobs will be lost. Now, if the economy were good, people could afford to buy new Ford F150s and employees would still have their jobs, right? Right?

Here's another reported April 29, 2006: Kahn's plant in Cincinnati is closing. 350 jobs will be lost.

And Seagrams in Lawrenceburg, Indiana, the same area I grew up in, is closing. They've been there for over 150 years. It's been a location for steady employment for as long as anyone remembers. Over 400 people will lose their jobs.

Now, would you point to the statistics and show me how unemployment is decreasing?

I was a broadcast engineer from 1997 to 2002 until my position was eliminated. I then worked for nine months as an installation technician for a local A/V company until I was let go because the company had insurmountable debt and they couldn't afford my salary anymore. The same week I was let go my Subway book came out. Following that I tried my hand at freelance copywriting. But after nine months I couldn't find the business and my unemployment ran out. Deciding on a career change, I went to work at an investments company doing data entry starting in March, 2004. I've been there ever since, working in a variety of different departments--at least I was until April 28 when I was let go due to a slowdown of work.

I didn't mind doing this work. It was easy, the company was a five-minute drive, and the pay ws good. Not great, but coupled with my wife's salary, it kept us afloat. Book royalties also helped; it does pay to be a published author.

However, once again I am unemployed. I was unemployed for three weeks last month for the same reason, but was brought back in April for a three-week stint.

The first time I was let go was in February, 2006 for two-and-a-half weeks. It was at that time my wife ordered me to find a "real" job, that is, a real salary, benefits, and a sense of permanancy. So I updated my resume and started searching for technical jobs, writing or editing jobs, and even data-entry jobs in other companies. Since then I've applied to over two dozen positions, most of which I would be perfect for. Only one called me back. After a long phone call about the position, he promised he would call back and let me know if I were selected for the "next step," but said he still had thousands of resumes to go through.

Thousands. Think about that word for a moment.

Thousands of applicants. One job.

It's no wonder nobody ever calls me back. Even with my solid experience and education, there are countless other job-seekers with the same or better credentials than I have.

That's where I stand right now regarding my job. I've had to start selling things on eBay again to have at least a little trickle of money coming in. And I'm going back on unemployment next week. So, just call me a statistic I suppose, but I'm still out there looking.

Need an agent for your book?

2006-03-25T10:29:00.000-05:00

"I can't find an agent!" shouts the frustrated writer.

My response: "Where have you looked?"

If you're looking for an agent, don't google "literary agents." Any agent that advertises is not an agent you want.

If you followed the advice of my last post, you learned that you must educate yourself on the publishing industry before seeking publication for your manuscript. I understand that in your eyes and your family's and neighbors' that your book is the best book ever written. It's gonna blow away J.K. Rowling. It'll make a great movie. It'll be a hit in Oprah's book club.

Many authors have dreams like these, but also have realistic expectations.

There's no way any of that's going to happen if you don't do your homework. You want an agent? It's not easy nor will it happen overnight. Months will pass and you will receive many rejections. But if you want it bad enough, this is what you must do:

I draw your attention back to 2006 Writer's Market available at bookstores and libraries. They also have an online version. Read the informative articles. Browse the agent listings. Choose those who deal with the kind of story you have written.

Visit the website agentquery. Read their articles. Go through their database and start picking out appropriate agents. Visit all of their websites. All of them. Make sure they are currently accepting query letters. See which method they prefer: some like email, some like snailmail. Follow their instructions.

Also visit your local library and go through Literary Marketplace, which is a listing of thousands of agents and publishers. Find the ones who represent what you've written.

You will also note that many of them say "Always looking for new talent." This means that yes, they are seeking unpublished authors. Agents want to sign the next big author. Agents want bestsellers to add to their lists of successes. Some aspiring authors just don't seem to understand this.

Some agents will say "no unsolicited manuscripts." This means they must ask for the manuscript first. The only way they will ask for the manuscript is if you query first. Writers Market, agentquery, and numerous websites offer advice on writing queries. Once you've written your query, ask for help in the Share Your Work forum on absolutewrite or other writer's sites to make it the best query letter it can be.

By now you've begun a list of likely agents. Cross check each one with Preditors and Editors. Learn the difference between a good agent and bad agent. The quickest way to know is if they ask for any money: money for making copies, money for editing, money for representation are all red flags. I should point out that some reputable agencies have started charging very small amounts for copies, but these are few and far between. A normal agent will deduct all expenses from your royalty check. And part of an agent's job is to secure the best deal he can for the author.

Personalize each query as best you can based on the agent's history and list of books represented. Don't get chummy, of course, but you need to tailor your query to fit the agent.

Now,start submitting. It is recommended that you include the first two or three pages of your manuscript with your query, unless the agent's guidelines say not to.

Always include an SASE with your snailmail. In email queries, never send attachments. Instead, include any sample pages in the body of the email.

Email response time could be several hours to several weeks. Snailmail responses range from a week to two months or longer.

Don't be surprised or disheartened when you get rejected. It's a numbers game. Submitting query letters is like a direct mail campaign. 19 out of 20 can and will get rejected, but rejection is part of the process. Every week, send out ten or more queries; more if you can. When an agent asks to see the whole manuscript, celebrate briefly, but understand that it can still get rejected.

Many authors who successfully landed an agent have reported sending over a hundred queries before finding one that finally said "yes." You just have to be persistent and it will happen. It might take months but the end result will be worth the time.

When an agent finally agrees to take on your work, you likely be notified by telephone.

On the other hand, if you've received two hundred or more rejections, it could mean that your work is not ready to be published. It happens. If you're lucky, you may receive feedback on your query letter, sample pages, or full requests from the agencies. Always take their comments to heart. If twenty agents say "good story, poor pacing," then your manuscript might need some more work.

I strongly recommend reading blogs written by real agents for an insight to how they think. This can be a real eye-opening experience, but you'll learn a lot.

Miss Snark

Kristin Nelson

And that's the secret! Really wasn't a secret, was it?

See you in the bookstores.

On writing, agents, and publishers

2006-03-25T09:12:00.000-05:00

I've read a lot of blogs and message board posts by writers who seem to believe that publishers and agents will not consider unpublished authors. That there is some sort of Grand Conspiracy against new authors preventing them from sharing future shelf space with the likes of Tom Clancy, John Grisham, and Stephen King. That the only way to get noticed in the industry is to get printed by vanity presses like publishamerica or authorhouse.

What amazes me is that this logic suggests that no author has ever been unpublished. I mean, walk into any bookstore and look around. All those books were written by people who at one pont had never been published. But these authors didn't get their books in the store by magic. Most had worked for years perfecting their craft before they got published. And in many cases, the authors' first books were never published. The ones that made it into the bookstore were second, third, or even fourth attempts.

This is a reality that many first-time authors are afraid to face: that their first book may not ever get published.

The web has changed the way some aspiring authors view the publishing industry. It is common now for a writer who has just finished his masterpiece to jump onto google, type in "book publisher" and send his manuscript to the first one on the list. A year later he wonders why his books aren't stocked in stores like those of his favorite authors and why his royalty checks are less than $5. Soon he gives up, declaring himself a literary failure and never writes again.

Was his book something thousands of readers would have enjoyed? Nobody will ever know.

If you write a book and are serious about getting it published, educate yourself before you send it anywhere. Back in the "good ol' days" before there was an internet, I checked out books on writing and publishing from my high school library. I had already started writing at this point and I wanted to understand the mechanics of writing and how the publishing industry worked. I knew I was writing . . . crap . . . but I was also learning that the road to publishing was filled with potholes, and that authors had to work very hard to get published. I learned there were no shortcuts to getting a book into bookstores.

The first book I bought on writing was in 1991: How to Write and Sell Your First Novel by Oscar Collier. While this isn't a book on writing mechanics, it does give a great overview of the processes of writing a novel, dialog, story, plot, and characters; rewriting, editing, polishing; publishers, agents, and success stories of first-time novelists. This book provided a roadmap for me and helped me understand what I needed to do to get published. There are many other books on writing and publishing, just browse your library or bookstore for more. I also recommend Stephen King's On Writing which is part autobiographical and part how-to. It's a must-read for every author. And if you've finished a manuscript, you absolutely have to get Self Editing for Fiction Writers. It's required reading for all writers. Finally, use 2006 Writer's Market for a printed guide to finding publishers and agents.

But, as an author who just finished your manuscript, you may ask "Why? Why should I read all those things? I'm already an expert; I know how to write, my book is perfect."

Maybe it is, maybe it isn't. As an author, though, you never stop learning how to perfect your craft. The best way to do this is to keep reading. Read the how-to books. Read new fiction. Observe how successful novelists write their books. Also interact with other authors on message boards like Absolute Write. Ask questions and share samples of your writing.

You will open up a whole new world for yourself if you reach out to other successful authors.

More about agents and publishers in my next post.

Allen's new blog

2006-03-22T14:29:00.000-05:00

My first post in my very own blog.

Is it good so far?

Still reading?

You can't surf five different sites these days without stumbling across someone's blog. Some blogs are simply online diaries. Some are filled with useful information on particular topics akin to the blogger's interests.

I have a variety of interests. I'm also an author. I believe I'll be posting whatever I feel like posting about that day, whether it's about antique radios or the fate of the subway in Cincinnati.

I've written three books, all published by Arcadia Publishing: The Cincinnati Subway, Cincinnati on the Go, and Stepping Out in Cincinnati.

Am I an author, or am I just nuts about Cincinnati? Both, actually.

I wrote Subway in 1998 at a time when I was an aspiring author looking for a full-length project. I had already had a few articles published in Radio World magazine and had attempted fiction, but I had a lot to learn about telling a good story among other things. When I saw a TV news feature about the subway in late 1997 (Cincinnati TV news periodically mentions the subway to remind us there is one still there) I wanted to learn more about it. I figured there had to be a book about it, but there wasn't. There was nothing on the web about it (remember, this was 1997). The more I asked around about it, the more people told me it was a story that had to be told.

So I took it upon myself to write the book. I wasn't a traffic engineer, librarian, or railroad historian. Just a guy who wanted to tell a true story about a hole in the ground.

I was working a full-time job. It took about nine months to research, write, and revise the first drafts of the manuscript. I consulted numerous books about Cincinnati history, City-commissioned reports from the 1910s and 1920s, hundreds of newspaper articles about the subway, and spoke with a great variety of people about it. Every new piece of info I found went into the book. Then I spent more months rewriting and revising. In the end, the word count was 55,000 and I had collected about 200 images to illustrate the book.

I had several goals in writing the manuscript I wanted to accomplish:

Write about more than just the story of the subway. I wanted to cover local history as well, and how other factors influenced the need for the subway and its outcome: automobiles, interurban trains, streetcars, the two world wars, and the Depression.
Write the book in a conversational style, geared for the "every reader." I don't know how many books I consulted written by authors who wrote at several levels higher than the average reader, using long, multi-syllabic words and complex sentences. My book would appeal to anyone.
I wanted to write it so it wasn't biased one way or another; I tried to take a neutral stance throughout and just tell the story. If a transportation engineer had written the book, it might have come across differently than how I handled it.

During this time I was reading up on writing and publishing, and started querying history and university presses. None were interested. "Too narrow a topic" was what I most often heard. 1998 became 1999 and personal obligations forced me to set aside the manuscript.

In 2000 my wife and I bought our house. I spent the next few months performing various house projects, but throughout this time, the subway manuscript never left my mind. People would sometimes ask, "Get your book published yet?" and I would have to hang my head and say "no, it's on hold right now."

I had been visiting a website called Forgotton Ohio, run by an "urban explorer" who visited abandoned buildings and other locations around Ohio and featured them on his site. In 2002 I saw that he had written a book called Forgotten Columbus published by Arcadia and had it displayed on his site. I thought his subject matter was similar to mine, so I contacted the publisher and told them about Subway. They expressed an interest and asked for the manuscript. Soon they asked for a proposal. I wrote the proposal, and was then offered a contract.

Was I happy? Oh, yes.

Then the work began, again.

55,000 words was too long for an Arcadia book. I had to cut it down by at least half. The editor gave me a lot of help, and suggested moving chunks of text to the captions. I spent three solid months editing every evening and every weekend. I had to cut thousands of words. Although this was a time-consuming process, and not at all unusual in the publishing world, it did give me a chance to revisit the manuscript after the years had passed to find problems I had missed the first times I went through it. I also tightened up the text a lot, as well as deleted everything unnecessary. In the end, the manuscript was better than ever.

The Cincinnati Subway came out May, 2003 and sold out of the publisher in a month. They had to issue an immediate reprint. Since then, it's on printing number 5. I expect to see number 6 soon.

It still remains one of Arcadia's continuously best sellers.

In later blog posts I'll talk about my next two books.

I am moving past local history. I have covered the topics I wanted to cover with my three books and am now delving into fiction. I wrote my first children's book (historical fiction on a passenger train in 1895--yeah, history again!) and it is being submitted to agencies right now. So far, 38 agencies have been queried. 12 rejects.

In other news, my cousin Nathan Singer's second book Chasing the Wolf has been released. Check your local bookstore or amazon.com and pick one up today while you browse for my three titles. Also, look for the recently released The Pacific Between by an author friend of mine, Raymond Wong.