Family Found

Update Those Links and Bookmarks

2008-06-12T21:49:00.004-05:00

I am permanently over at http://thedalaimama.net. Come on over and read about our newest little Ethiopian Baby. She's a doll.

I HAVE MOVED

2007-10-22T22:04:00.000-05:00

www.thedalaimama.net

Please update links, bookmarks, etc. I will be putting this space to bed soon...very soon.

Please Note

2007-09-25T10:40:00.000-05:00

That I will be officially moving to my new home www.thedalaimama.net. I will keep this blog up for quite some time, but will not be updating. So please update your bookmarks and your links. I promise it will be the same me blogging at the new site. Writing about all of the things I write about here. Just a new home...A new persona.

See you there...

Growing Up

2007-09-24T10:28:00.000-05:00

Minnow is fast approaching being a year and a half. I can hardly believe how fast the time has gone. When I new I was going to be a stay at home mom, I joined a stay-at-home moms group. It has been a great group and I don't know what I would have done without a group of women who were going through what I was going through. Our kids are various ages as are our reasons for staying home. We had our 2nd annual family picinic yesterday--where all the moms get to sit and chat, while our husbands watch and play with the kids. It was really nice and Minnow had a blast. I am so thankful that I have been able to stay home with Minnow.

This feeling causes me to question my decision to attempt to go back to work as our next little one will be joining us around May (i am guessing). I have to wonder if she doesn't deserve the same attention and parental bonding that Minnow did. Is it fair to her? Is it fair the the children that will hopefully come after her? I just don't know and boy how I wish I had all the answers.

If You Lived Where I Do

2007-09-22T12:42:00.001-05:00

you could buy a new ATV and get with it a winch and a gun. Seriously, this is the ad promo that runs on one of our country stations--okay so I totally just outed myself as a country music aficionado--but still who doesn't need a new gun with their ATV purchase. That way it becomes much much easier to hurt yourself or someone else while you are out riding your ATV. Totally makes sense to me.

This is just begging to become a Darwin Award.

I Can Only Hope To Be This Inspirational

2007-09-21T08:14:00.000-05:00

If you caught GMA this morning you maybe got to see the piece on Dr. Randy Pausch. A professor who has terminal cancer and ony 3-6 months to live. He is truly living his dying days. He gave a "last lecture" at Carnagie Mellon--where he taught. It is long, but truly amazing and inspirational.

There is a question that hits me, would I have been as moved and inspired by his words if I didn't know he was dying? I would like to think so.

Here is the link...Dr. Pausch's Last Lecture. Inspire someone today.

He Is So Right!

2007-09-21T00:14:00.000-05:00

The Decisions We Make For Our Children

2007-09-20T12:14:00.000-05:00

Technically Minnow has been a citizen since we landed in the US on Sept. 1, 2006--at least in the eyes of our state. Officially, Minnow has been a citizen in the eyes of the US Government since Dec 22, 2006--the day his adoption was officially recognized by our state.

Today we made it absolutely 100% official the Minnow will bear arms for the US if asked to do so...etc. Yes, that was one of the statements I had to read with my right hand held up high. I hope Minnow doesn't mind we swearing his allegiance to our government forsaking all other previous governments.

It was a bit strange to be doing that for him. I know in his heart and in ours we will keep him close to Ethiopia, but reading those statements made me feel as though in some way it really isn't my decision to make for him. I was a little sad while reading them. It really made me consider how final his separation is--legally--from his homeland. I was happy that we got to keep his Ethiopian Passport. It will be a memento for him of where he has come from.

Almost Half Way Done

2007-09-19T23:45:00.000-05:00

Today marks the 3 month mark since our dossier arrived in Ethiopia. We are waiting for a baby girl. I have to say that this wait has been so much easier for me. I think because I know we are getting one baby girl. While we were waiting for Minnow's referral we did not know if we would be getting one child, twins, or siblings uner 2. There was so much unknown that first time that it was very stressful and scary. I was just as busy in my life then as I am now--well I do have Minnow to keep my days filled. But there isn't any anxiety. Maybe that is because I fully understand that our wait will be at least 6 months and maybe 7 or 8. I understand this. The first time around we didn't know how long it would take. Some families waited 2 months other 4. There was no set standard time yet. Also there was the HIV testing shortage. I remember how stressed and worried I was. I was a basket case and I have to thank my agency Adoption Advocates International for not firing us as clients as I am sure I was a complete and udder pain in their ass. They were nothing but great and awesome with me. They truly understood what it was like waiting.

I have to admit I like knowing that we are getting a girl. I like knowing that it will take until January at the earliest before we know who she is. I don't know what it is like to be pregnant but I can only imagine that the second time is a little easier--less stressful than the first time--as long as everything looks good and mom is healthy. I am at peace with this wait, but I look forward to "meeting" her soon.

Update on Jena 6

2007-09-19T08:38:00.000-05:00

The young man who had been tried as an adult and convicted had his conviction thrown out by an appeals court judge. This is good. But the other 5 boys are yet to be tried and the first boy could be tried as a juvenile. This is not yet over.

We must speak out about racial injustice. We must as a society take care of each other--not just those folks who look like us and whose experience we understand. We can change our world, but only if we are big enough to put our differences aside and to embrace each other.

It is not enough to say we aren't "racist" but if we allow these type of racial acts and differences to permeate our society than it doesn't matter that a handful of us aren't "racist." Make a difference. It takes all of us. We need to do it for our children. We have come a long way but not nearly long enough. Those in the 60's did a great bulk of the work for us, but it is not yet done. The last bit is always the hardest.

You can make a difference. What will it be?

Cake Is A Food Group Isn't It?

2007-09-18T09:01:00.001-05:00

Minnow had a busy weekend. He had two birthday parties on Saturday. One in the am for a friend of his and on in the pm for a family member. It was crazy. He ate more cake than anything else on Saturday. I know bad mom. I can't help it if he would rather eat cake than broccoli, peas, green beans, apples, pineapple or strawberries. I have a skinny kid and getting him to eat anything is difficult. He would rather be running around and playing or dancing to bluegrass music. I can get him to eat cheese, hot dogs, ketchup--is that a veggie?--nut butter (both peanut and almond) and jelly, chicken, liverwurst and avocado. He will also eat apple sauce and yogurt. But if he wants to eat cake 2x in one day, who am I to stop him. Besides he needs calories right????

Racial Injustice Is Alive--Help Stop It

2007-09-14T16:39:00.000-05:00

Jena 6
Story Posted Today in The Tribune

Not sure you are familiar with this. Just in case you are not please read below and please log on and sign the Petition. Not ONLY does this affect these young men but all of our children as well. It could have easily been one of our children and please pass this on to EVERYONE you know to sign this it is very important, should they win the case it will set a new precedence for future situations where our children may be involved…DON’T NOT LET THEM WIN THIS CASE…SIGN THE PETITION ASAP!!

In a small highly segregated rural Louisiana town of Jena in September 2006, a black student asked permission from school administrators to sit under the shade of a tree commonly reserved for the enjoyment of white students. School officials advised the black students to sit wherever they wanted and they did. The next day, three nooses, in the school colors, were hanging from the same tree. The Jena high school principal found that three white students were responsible and recommended expulsion. The white superintendent of schools over-ruled the principal and gave the students a three day suspension,saying that the nooses were a youthful stunt. Black students decided to resist and organized a sit-in under the tree to protest the lenient treatment given to the noose-hanging white students.

Racial tensions remained elevated throughout the fall. On Monday, December 4 2006, a white student who allegedly had been racially taunting black students in support of the students who hung the nooses got into a fight with black students. Allegedly, the white student was taken to the hospital treated, released, reportedly attended a social function later that evening.As a result of this incident, six black Jena students were arrested and charged with attempted second degree murder. All six were expelled from school.

The six charged were: 17-year-old Robert Bailey Junior whose bail was set at $138,000; 17-year-old Theo Shaw - bail $130,000; 18-year-old Carwin Jones--bail $100,000; 17-year-old Bryant Purvis--bail $70,000; 16 year old Mychal Bell, a sophomore in high school who was charged as an adult and for whom bail was set at $90,000; and a still unidentified minor.

On the morning of the trial, the District Attorney reduced the charges from attempted second degree murder to second degree aggravated battery and conspiracy. Aggravated battery in Louisiana law demands the attack be with a dangerous weapon. The prosecutor was allowed to argue to the jury that the tennis shoes worn by Bell could be considered a dangerous weapon.

When the pool of potential jurors was summoned, fifty people appeared, all white. The jury deliberated for less than three hours and found Mychal Bell guilty on the maximum possible charges of aggravated second degree battery and conspiracy. He faces up to a maximum of 22 years in prison.

The rest of the Jena 6 await similar trials. Theodore Shaw is due to go on trial shortly. Mychal Bell is scheduled to be sentenced July 31. If he gets the maximum sentence he will not be out of prison until he is nearly 40.

THE MESSAGE:

· As Chairman Julian Bond stated, 'This is an American outrage that demonstrates the continuing shame of racial division in our country. Join us in making it one of the last.'

· In light of the circumstances surrounding Mychal Bell's case, we urge all concerned citizens to support the call for a new trial.

· It is unacceptable to selectively enforce the law based on race. Prosecutorial discretion should be used in a fair and equitable manner.

· The Jena Six should be tried by juries that reflect the racial and ethnic demographics of Jena , Louisiana .

· The hanging of nooses is not a 'youthful stunt' or 'prank.' It is a hate crime. Such hate crimes should not be tolerated at any school. Jena High School must establish a curriculum which promotes cultural sensitivity and understanding.

· The NAACP calls on Louisiana Governor Kathleen B. Blanco and Louisiana Attorney General Charles C. Foti to thoroughly investigate and monitor the trials of Mychal Bell, Robert Bailey, Jr., Theo Shaw, Carwin Jones, Bryant Purvis and John Doe. The Governor and State Attorney General should do everything in their power to ensure that these young men's constitutional rights are protected.

THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS IMPORTANT MATTER!!!If you have any questions, call Angela Ciccolo at the National Headquarters at (410) 580-5777

(click the link which directs you to the NAACP, then click sign the petition)http://www.naacp.org/get-involved/activism/petitions/jena-6/index.php

If You Were An English Grad Student

2007-09-13T22:22:00.000-05:00

you would get to read things like this...

"Vision in this technological feast becomes unregulated gluttony; all seems not just mythically about the god trick of seeing everything from nowhere, but to have put the myth into ordinary practice. And like the god trick, this eye fucks the world to make techno-monsters. Zoe Sofoulis calls this the cannibaleye of masculinist extra-terrestrial projects for excremental second-birthing."--Donna Haraway "Situated Knowledges"

Aren't you jealous?

He Finally Knows What It Feels Like To Be MOM

2007-09-13T14:00:00.001-05:00

My darling, sweet gorgeous cousin babysat little Minnow yesterday. I had some work to get done and she was off and it worked out. She loves Minnow. So, Hubby comes home from work and Minnow wants nothing to do with him. Hubby is use to Minnow yelling and jumping out of his skin from the excitement that daddy is home. Yesterday...nothing except cries for super cousin.

Yes. He finally knows what it is like for mommy when daddy is home.

Is it bad that I am happy about that?

Happy

2007-09-11T08:57:00.001-05:00

A commenter posted the following:

You have my permission (even though you don't know me!!!) to change your
mind and stay home with your baby a little longer

I just wanted to clear up something for anyone who might be confused. It was totally my choice to teach this ONE class. I am still staying at home with my son. I am not ready to go to work full-time. I am happy working part-time and hope to be able to work part-time until I actually go back to work full-time in a few years. I am only working 3 hours a week. Minnow is in childcare 3 hours a day MWF. But he is being watched by a friend whose son is 2 months younger than Minnow. They had a blast yesterday. It is just as good for Minnow to get to play with another kid his own age 3x a week as it is for me to work those 3 hours a week.

My first day teaching was awesome. It is so different from High School. It is amazing. The students come in and sit down and are ready for class to begin when it is time. The actually listen to you while you talk. It was a very surreal experience. I went in. Taught my class. Went home. It was nice. I still don't know much about the college itself. I still have to fill out my direct deposit paperwork so that I can get paid and in turn my babysitter can get paid.

I think I am going to love this. I think it is amazing. I don't think I will ever return to High School to teach. I guess I always knew that I wanted to teach at the community college--or even an open admissions college. It is so different. It is where I fit. It is where I want to be.

I know it was only my first day, but for those of you who have been or are teachers. You can pretty much tell what a place is like after the first day. I am so excited. I am in a word HAPPY.

The Cost of Working

2007-09-09T17:42:00.000-05:00

After I pay for child care, I will net about $8 a week--which is what gas will probably cost me. Add in the new clothes I bought. This "job" will end up costing us about $200--over 14 weeks. Isn't life grand.

Oh, well. Getting out of the house and teaching is worth it...I think.

My Class Description

2007-09-08T08:28:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I was able to go to the community college where I will be teaching to meet some teacher and attended their English teacher Retreat. It was nice and I am glad that I went. The atmosphere is so different than that of high school. Teachers were really nice and welcoming and offered to help in anyway that they could. For those of you who have worked in schools, especially high schools, might know that this isn't always the case. I am excited and really think that I am going to like it. I just might like it so much that I never return to a high school to teach again.

I really am just happy that I have gotten my foot in the door. As that can be hard to do. I know that it is even harder to get a full-time faculty position but I am pushy and ambitious. I have faith in myself. The course I am teaching is called Developmental writing. It is for those writers/students who need remediation before they can take Composition 1.

Here is what I will be teaching:

6. Learning Objectives (goals):

• Understand that writing involves a process of pre-writing, writing, and rewriting
• Understand the basics of English syntax, grammar, and punctuation
• Understand the basic structure of a paragraph
• Understand that there are many dialects of English, each appropriately used in different cultural, professional, and academic contexts
• Understand that the use of different dialects provides access to and membership indifferent discourse communities
• Understand that skills gained in Composition 020 apply to the workplace as well as toacademia
• Be able to use college resources (such as the Writing Center) beyond the ENG:020teacher to assist in developing writing skills
• Gain greater confidence in writing and the competence to continue writing in othercollege courses
8. Expected Performance Outcomes (measurable):
• Write clear, direct sentences
• Avoid most fragments, comma splices, and run-on sentences
• Use conventional syntax, grammar, and punctuation
• Use a variety of sentence patterns
• Use consistent verb tenses in sentences and paragraphs
• Spell correctly
• Write focused topic sentences
• Support topic sentences with appropriate specific details
• Write appropriately in response to selected readings
9. Minimum Course Requirements (examples may include)
• Write a minimum of 150 words on a topic
• Write four paragraphs, at least one expository
• Complete approximately 40 pages of written practice or exercises
• Attend regularly and participate in class sessions

I Think I Just Might Be Crazy

2007-09-07T00:14:00.000-05:00

I just took a job. I know crazy. I am teaching a college course--MWF 1-2:15. It starts on Monday--Now I just have to figure out what to do with Minnow. Hubby is going to take long lunches for a while, but that cannot go on for the whole semester. Anyone know anyone who watches kids? I would need someone from 12:15-2:45pm. Minnow usually naps at this time so it would be pretty easy money.

I have to make a syllabus, design assignments and oh wait..finish my grad school homework. But it is a foot in the door and these things don't happen that often. I didn't even have to interview. Awesome.

Fashion Advice

2007-09-06T12:16:00.001-05:00

I am by no means a fashionista. My daily dress includes shorts, t-shirts and flip flops. Some time capri sweat pants, t-shirts and flip flops--every once in a while I will wear jeans (if I am leaving the house). I think you get my drift. I am totally a lazy dressing stay at home mom. I have always been a lazy dresser. I think that is why I loved living in Santa Barbara all those years. Beach communities/college towns are great for lazy dressers. As long as you own jeans, t-shirts and flip flops you have no fashion worries.

Okay, so please head my warning...

DO NOT. I repeat DO NOT wear low rise jeans if you think you might have to get your screaming toddler out of a 3 story human habitrail. It will not be your finest moment...

Great Expectations

2007-09-04T08:49:00.000-05:00

I really thought that I might make it through both my BA and MA in English without every having to read Dickens' classic tale. I was not able to. In my second to last literature class for my MA it is the first novel we are reading. I am sadly only 1/2 way through and I need to finish the book today so that I can write a short paper on how Dickens uses violence to control women or how violence is just something everyone experiences...something along those lines.

I have to say the book is indeed a great book. The messages that are subtly masked in witty dialogue and somewhat contrived situations are real messages and commentary about the state of society that are still very relevant today. I will write more when I have finished.

Well there would be some great pics of Minnow playing at the zoo with his "girl friend" Supergirl but blogger is not cooperating...Maybe later...

Happy Birthday To Me

2007-09-01T10:37:00.000-05:00

I turned 36 yesterday. And let me just say...I don't like it. This is the first birthday that I have really felt as though life is moving too fast and I just don't feel ready to be 36.

I have to say that I have the most awesome husband in the world. About two weeks or so before my birthday I bought some shoes (7 pairs to be exact). I felt guilty for buying them for myself so, being the guilt ridden mother/wife that I tend to be lately--I told hubby he didn't have to get me anything for my birthday as the shoes could be considered my birthday present. So he comes home yesterday and I was hoping for flowers or something since I knew I wasn't getting an actual present. I was sad when I didn't get flowers--even though I am not a big fan of flowers.

I was so mad at myself for saying that I didn't want anything and that hubby shouldn't get me anything. But at this point I thought "Its really too late" as it was my birthday. So I was feeling sorry for myself and mad that hubby listened to me. I was slightly sulking and dressed ready for dinner when I as presented with this....

Normalcy

2007-08-31T08:43:00.000-05:00

Hubby is home from his business trip. Single parenthood is over. I am happy.

You know you are in a city when...

A nice guy buys a bratwurst for a homeless lady. She then says thanks but "give me a dollar" too. He doesn't. She comes up to the counter and asks for BBQ sauce. We say that we don't have any...she then gives us the Bratwurst saying "then I don't want it" and continues to hit the crowd up for money. I was appalled that she would have the audacity to turn down the food--even though I know it is not the food she wanted. She wanted money. She wanted drugs. She needed drugs. That was easy to see.

This is just the most recent example of why I no longer have a hard time walking past those asking for money.

Am I horrible? Do you give to those you see on the streets? Do you not? Share your stories/reasons here. I want to know.

Who The Hell Was This Murphy Guy Anyway?

2007-08-28T15:31:00.001-05:00

And where does he get off creating a "law"? I have been a victim. It will happen to all of us parents. Your spouse aka "the reliever" will go out of town. You will while trying to make dinner, cut your finger so that it bleeds as though you have cut off said finger--when in all actuality you have only sliced it a little. While trying to stop said bleeding and administer first aid to yourself--as your toddler cannot help--said toddler will proceed to pull all of the toilet paper off and try and give it to you, since he watched you rip off a piece to use as a compress. When you cannot take the entire roll, since you are trying to stop the bleeding and figure out what band-aid to use, the toddler will "help" by doing the other thing he has seen you do the the toilet paper. Yes--put it in the open toilet. He will then try to flush, which will force you to abandon your first aid and drip blood everywhere. This also causes toddler to scream and cry. So you hold him while holding half wet toilet paper on your thumb wondering why you ever thought parenting was a good idea.

Then he grabs your face with his little hands and plants a big open mouth (the girls are going to love him) kiss on your face and you totally forget about the chaos. That is of course until you have to go to the bathroom and the toilet is full of a roll of really nice, quilty, think paper.

What Was He Thinking?

2007-08-27T15:23:00.000-05:00

A short little story on our local news last night reinforced something I had always thought--if two buffalo are fighting one should not try to break up the fight. Sadly, a buffalo farmer tried to break up a fight between 2 of his buffalo when one got our of his own enclosure and entered that of the another buffalo. The farmer was gored. I don't think he was critically injured, but who really thinks they can break up a fight between two 2,000lbs plus animals? I won't even think of trying to break up a fight between 2 14-year-old girls much less buffalo.

Please let this be a lesson to you all.

How To Torture Your Toddler

2007-08-24T13:36:00.000-05:00

For months now (about 3) Minnow has been going to bed on his own and awake. He will sometimes cry until the other parent comes to hug him good night, but most of the time he just goes to sleep.

Now napping is another story. We didn't have a nap routine. Sometimes he would fall asleep in the car others he would fall asleep with me while watching a little SpongeBob. This week I decided that whether he was falling asleep or not 12:30 is nap time. That is when he is tired and gets really crabby. So, on Monday it was 12:30. I took him upstairs and explained to him that it was sleepy time. He wasn't having any of it. He looked at me and screamed--so clearly wishing he could say "you are absolutely crazy woman, I am not napping." But he can't talk so I could pretend I didn't know what he was trying to communicate.

I let him cry for a few minutes and then took up 3 of his SpongeBob books. I figured if he wasn't going to sleep that was fine but he was staying in his crib and read. He read for a few minutes and fell asleep. It was nice. I take the books out of his crib when he wakes up from his nap, since he doesn't need the books at night.

To make this short story even longer...I took Minnow up to bed last night. He was sleepy and obviously ready for bed. He laid down and before I was down the stairs he started screaming. And not just unhappy to be in bed screaming, but someone was torturing him screaming. I waited a minute or two but went back up to see what the problem was...as the screaming only got louder.

The minute I walk into his room, he says "pweeze, pweeze, pweeze." I look into his crib and the poor little guy is sitting in the dark, holding his books and trying to read in the dark. Mommy forgot to remove the books and the little guy just wanted to read.