Self Improvement Tips

5 Creativity Killing Habits You Don't Even Realize You Have

2008-05-15T12:20:00.000-07:00

Being more creative isn't just about finding lots of new ways you can increase your creativity, additions you can make to your creative life to make it all flow more smoothly and easily. More powerful than adding new techniques is reducing the kind of habits you already have that are seriously limiting your creativity, maybe without you even knowing it.

So here are 5 top creativity killing habits, how to recognise them, and what to do instead:

1. You tell yourself you're JUST a writer/painter/sculptor... Even though you may be prolific in one creative form and creating away happily, if you see yourself only as being able to create in this one medium, it can significantly restrict you. The basic principles of creativity are not about the tools and materials you use, they're about how you bring ideas into being that weren't there before. Try creating in a few other mediums now and then to stretch yourself and expand your creative horizons.

2. You hold back after periods of great creativity. So you've had a weekend of great creative activity and you're glowing with pride at your efforts. "Hang on though, if I've been so creative in such a short time, I'd better hold back and ration myself for a few weeks, just in case my creativity runs out." Sound familiar? Creativity breeds creativity, we don't have a finite supply of ideas, the more we come up with, the more will appear. So don't get caught up in the myth that we each have a limited supply of creativity that will suddenly one day run out.

3. You believe you're only "playing around" and not a real artist. You can be highly creative and still believe that you're just dabbling and not really a serious creative artist. This deeply held belief can cause you to keep your creativity very low key, hidden away even, meaning you never truly enjoy your creativity at its fullest. The truth is, everyone who creates has these thoughts sometimes. If you create stuff, you're a creative artist, and your work is of value, it's as simple as that. So create and be proud!

4. You talk down your creative achievements. Maybe when you create new projects, and people say they enjoy them or are inspired by them, you dismiss their comments with lines like: "oh anyone can do it" or "it's nothing special" and "It's OK, but I can do much better". Not only does this belittle your own great efforts, but it's actually disrespectful to those making the comments. It's not for you to judge how moved someone is by what you've created, give THEM credit for knowing what they enjoy and telling you, and give YOURSELF credit for having created it.

5. You delay creating until after "essential" tasks. How often do you just decide to create and do it? How often do you find yourself thinking "Right, I'm going to get down to creating as soon as I've checked my emails" or "...finished this episode of my favourite sitcom" or "...rearrange my collection of 1000 books"? Create first, while your energy and inspiration is high, do these other tasks after, as they take hardly any mental or creative effort. Save your juices for creating!

Which of these creativity killing habits do you recognise in your own life? Which can you focus on and take steps to reducing starting from today?

Want to learn more about how to increase YOUR creativity? It's easy: just sign up to "Create Create!" - Creativity Coach Dan Goodwin's free twice monthly ezine - today, and get your free copy of the "Explode Your Creativity!" Action Workbook. Head on over now to http://www.CoachCreative.com.

Navigating Change

2008-05-15T12:17:00.000-07:00

All of us recognize when our lives need work. We may deny it or ignore the signs but whether it's health, finances, family relationships or some other problem, we know when things don't feel right. But fixing them? That's not so easy.

Viewing all our problems at once can be overwhelming. We have to look closer and determine what needs fixing first. If, for example, the kids are out of control because a couple can never agree on discipline, it would be pointless to start with the kids. They are not the problem. The marriage is. What about health? Suppose someone is suffering anxiety attacks, stress related high blood pressure and other health problems because they insist on controlling every aspect of life, including family members. The anxiety attacks are not the problem. The control issues are.

It's not that the secondary issues won't eventually have to be addressed. They will. But we have to zero in on the root problems that are making every aspect of life fall apart around us. It's not enough to say, "I want to work on my marriage." What part of the marriage? Trust? Intimacy? Respect? Spiritual life? Communication? Forgiveness?

All areas of life are multi-layered and complex. Every problem has a core, a deep place where some belief, behavior or habit is out of whack. Behind every addiction or personality flaw there is a deception.

When we resolve to improve our lives we must become detectives if we hope to fix things in correct order. So don't fall into the trap of trying to fix everything that is wrong all at once. And never work on more than one problem at a time. Try these steps:

Identify the most critical problem
• Make a plan for change
• Write down steps to success
• Implement the plan
• Forgive yourself any lapses
• Reward yourself for success
• Remember that habits are created by repeated behaviors
• Once you feel you have achieved a new pattern, you can identify and begin to work on another problem

So, whether it involves parenting, marriage issues, finances or a destructive habit such as drugs or smoking, you CAN take control of your life, improve your circumstances and make life altering changes for yourself and your family.

Just remember, the number one rule is ONE PROBLEM AT A TIME. Don't focus on the children if you and your spouse getting into agreement on parenting is the issue. YOU change and they'll change. Don't focus on "marriage" if your problem is trust or intimacy. Identify the problem and work on THAT and you will see results before you know it. Don't focus on vitamins supplements or protein if your problem is dependence on alcohol or cigarettes. Beat the habit and you may feel better than you ever have.

Step by step, line upon line, here a little and there a little is the way to achieve enormous life changes.

Beverly Vines-Haines is the Marketing, Research and Text Coordinator for Healing Leaf LLC. This is a company that tackles the toughest skin and nail conditions known to man. A best-selling author for years before she became a part of Healing Leaf LLC, she is dedicated to natural healing and creating pure products that are both safe and earth friendly. For more information about these effective products, visit http://www.NoFungusAmongUs.com

Replace Negative Thinking with Positive Thinking

2008-05-15T12:14:00.000-07:00

Negative thinking is something that haunts many of us. Try as we may, it seems that the negative thoughts simply come more easily than the positive ones. If you are tired of always looking at the world with pessimism, it's time to change! Afraid that negative thinking is just a part of who you are? Don't worry, with the help of negative thinking affirmations anyone can start to look at the world in a more positive manner.

Negative thinking affirmations are a way to change the way that you look at the world starting right now. Instead of always looking at the glass as half empty you can teach yourself to see it as overflowing. You may be thinking that this way of thought will be nothing less than a miracle, but it's not! With negative thinking affirmations anything is possible, regardless of how negative your thought process is and how long you negative thinking has plagued you.

The Benefits of Positive Affirmations

Using free positive affirmations can prove to be invaluable to your life. When you are able to approach life in a more positive nature you will find that life is a lot sweeter. You may be more willing to do, say, and try things that you wouldn't have tried before. You'll be able to approach life with more hope and you'll simply feel better as a result. Because you feel better and are willing to do things that you wouldn't have done before, you'll also be a lot more fun to be around (your friends will thank you) and you'll experience a completely new world around you. You'll be a magnet for like-minded success-seekers and you'll get more done, in less time. Why? Because 50% of your time will be saved from the constant complaints and negative thoughts you once had. Does this sound like a good idea or what!

The Simplicity of Affirmations

Negative thinking affirmations seem simple when you look at them because they appear to be nothing more than a simple statement. When you believe that the negative thinking affirmations are statements of truth, you are taking the power of negative thought away and giving it to the positive nature that does dwell within you. When you say these free positive affirmations you are literally training your mind how to work in a different way. You will be able to see the effects of using these negative thinking affirmations right away because they will start opening your mind from minute one.

When you start using negative thinking affirmations you may feel a bit silly, but if you believe that you can change you are already on your way toward more positive thought. When you find yourself being negative, sometimes all you need is a reminder to think differently about a situation or about life in general. Free positive affirmations are a simple reminder that will allow you change your thought process for good. You may have times where you start to feel a bit negative, but reciting your negative thinking affirmations can help you stop the negativity in its tracks. Your life will be better for the change in thinking, so make positive affirmations part of what you do starting right now!

Ronnie Nijmeh is the president and founder of ACQYR.com - a resource that provides free desktop wallpapers, motivational articles, and inspirational affirmations. Read more free positive affirmations.

Confidence - 7 Suggestions To Feel More Confident In Social Situations

2008-05-07T14:51:00.000-07:00

Many people lack confidence when interacting with others... and for some, any form of social situation can be extremely difficult. Social interaction whether it be work-related or personal life can be stressful to the point where the person becomes highly anxious and unable to function the way he or she usually does.

A lack of confidence can make meeting and talking with people extremely difficult... making conversation with someone who has a huge lack of confidence is like drawing teeth without an anaesthetic! Painful!

Not only is it painful for the person who is trying to converse with someone who lacks confidence but the person who lacks confidence is often in agony!

Our level of confidence is influenced by many things including how we feel about our expertise and knowledge, how we feel others perceive us, how comfortable we are with others.

And our confidence is also influenced by how we feel we look to others... how we feel we "shape up" in the eyes of others.

There are many things we can easily, inexpensively, and quickly do to give ourselves a confidence boost when meeting or interacting with others.

Here are 7 suggestions to look good. If you look good... you feel good. If you feel good about your looks, your confidence gets a much needed boost:

be clean and tidy -- make sure you are fresh e.g. have a shower or a wash to freshen up. When your skin is clean and fresh you feel so much better. Often it isn't possible to shower just before being with others e.g. meeting after work. But you can go to any public restroom and wash your face and hands, touch up your makeup (if you are a woman), reshuffle your clothing e.g. straighten your tie, your shirt, your skirt
looking good doesn't mean having expensive clothing -- when you are meeting others, take some time choosing what you will wear. Wear clothes that you feel good in -- word of caution: most of us feel so great and comfortable in daggy trackies but that type of clothing does not do you any favours when you lack confidence with others. Choose clothing that makes you feel more confident e.g. slightly dressy but still comfortable
make sure you have tidy footwear -- having appropriate footwear, again it doesn't have to be designer label or the most expensive, as long as it is reasonably clean, helps you feel more confident. In other words... avoid wearing joggers to a cocktail party for your work!
make sure your hair is tidy -- just before you are meeting others and being put in a potentially stressful situation, comb your hair. If you know you have an important social engagement coming up that day make sure your hair is clean -- wash it!
have a fresh mouth -- remember, when you are with others you will most probably need to talk (cringe) which means people will be within a relatively short distance from your mouth. A major confidence destroyer is the concern that we have something stuck in our teeth or that our breath smells... Do yourself a favour -- clean your teeth or at least give your mouth a thorough rinse before any social contact!
smile! Become aware of your facial expressions... and make yourself smile! All too often when we lack confidence, we tend to frown, look serious or vague... not good! Stand in front of the mirror and practise smiling... and remember if your mouth is clean and fresh you won't have the worry of what's between your teeth!
practice confident posture and walking -- stand up straight, shoulders back, head held high, and don't slouch! Watch confident peoples posture and walk and copy what they do!

Helping yourself to boost your confidence is essential... and there are so many little tricks that will boost your confidence!

Jeanne May works with spiritually minded people providing them information, inspiration, guidance and support to achieve their goals and dreams... subscribe to Aspirations Plus and receive updates and a complimentary copy of "#1 Ingredient To Fast Track Your Success!"

I invite you to discover more about the difference confidence makes in your life, and learn easy to use techniques to develop Unstoppable Confidence.

Self-Esteem - Overcome Low Self-Esteem with Simple Techniques

2008-05-07T14:50:00.000-07:00

Low self-esteem affects our love lives, careers, family bonds, and, most of all, our internal sense of well-being. High self-esteem, however, exudes confidence, problem-solving abilities and the assertiveness necessary to achieve your goals.

The more you like yourself, the more you act in likable ways. The more you believe you can achieve something, the more likely it is that you will.

It is a well-known fact that we can all take steps to improve our self-esteem. The most important relationship you have is with yourself!

The expression "Self-Esteem" is often used in our everyday life, although most people don't really know the exact meaning of it. Most people think that self esteem is another name for confidence. Certainly, confidence is part of the definition of self esteem but it is a lot more than that. For example, there are numerous people in the world that are at the height of their confidence but have very poor self-esteem. Most of the people in the public eye fall into this category. The most common are actors, comedians and singers who glow on stage, and yet offstage, they feel insecure.

There are a few different ways to improve your self esteem. The most basic of them is that you must realize that you are not alone. There are many others who have this problem. The second fact that you must remember is that you are a very special person and you are an important part of society and you have as much right to live happily and peacefully as everybody else.

Another thing to remember is that everyone makes mistakes. Making mistakes is a fact of life for everyone. No one is perfect. Never forget the saying 'to err is human'. Hopefully most of us will learn from our mistakes. We also have the right to respect ourselves just like we respect others. Most importantly, you have the right to say 'yes' or 'no' for yourself. People with poor self esteem feel that they are inferior to others and are unable to make the right decisions.

Here are some the techniques to help improve your self esteem.

* The ten minute technique: take ten minutes a day and do nothing but just sit and relax. This helps bring back your confidence. Many people find this technique helpful.

* Accentuate the Positive: if you are one of those who tends to go over your mistakes again and again, make sure it is only for one reason: to correct them.

* List 50 things that you like about yourself: then go over them every day. This will help you to focus on your strengths and will keep you on the right track.

To learn the simple secrets to building your self-esteem, visit http://www.selfesteem.healthehelp.com where you'll find everything you need to know about improving your confidence, including self help, self-esteem improvement courses, and much more!

Improving Your Self Confidence

2008-05-07T14:47:00.000-07:00

Let's face it, we all need Self Confidence to cope with the trials of modern life, but what many people don't realise is the extent to which our lives are governed by this simple attribute of personality. Self-confident people are winners: things go right for them; people like them; and they get the results they want more often than not.

Now wouldn't you like to have more of that kind of quality in your life? Well - you can! If you are not a self-confident person, you can become one; and it's easier than you might think. But before we can walk through the 'door' to unlimited self-confidence, we need to first discover exactly what a confident person is; then we can look at how to acquire it.

First of all, a self-confident person is someone who believes they are confident. Their lives exude confidence because they are simply being true to that unshakeable inner belief. Conversely, a person without confidence is someone who does not have that belief; and is equally acting out the consequences of their inner thoughts. Same process - different results!

Here we have the key to acquiring that confidence: we must change our beliefs about who and what we are. Once we have done that, the rest - the unshakeable self confidence we seek - will follow quite naturally. So the question really becomes one about how we can go about the business of changing our beliefs about who we are and what we are capable of achieving; and there are many ways to do that including self-hypnosis, NLP and the use of positive affirmations.

In this article, I want to take a look at the use of positive affirmations. Affirmations do work because they deal with changing the inner person first. The reason they work is because: if you choose to repeat a particular phrase over and over again (I recommend at least three times a day; and three repetitions each time - that's 9 time in total - minimum) then eventually your subconscious mind will accept that you are what you have been saying.

Once that acceptance has taken place for the inner person, the outer person will begin to experience the benefits. The good news is that you don't even have to believe in the process; you just need to engage in the discipline of doing the repetitions each and every day until you produce the results you want.

Affirmations for Self-Confidence and Self-Belief:

- I AM Growing in Confidence Each and Every Day

- I AM Receiving All the Self-Confidence I Need

- I AM Brimming with Confidence

So try the above affirmations, repeating each of them three times; and do this procedure three times per day. Try them for a period of one month and you will begin to see some excellent results!

For more tips on developing your Self-Confidence, get our excellent book: Unshakable Self-Confidence. This book is completely free (no sign-up required). Get an immediate download here ...

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Will Edwards is Founder of White Dove Books

http://www.whitedovebooks.co.uk

What To Do With Your Money

2008-04-25T12:34:00.000-07:00

Every day we have people that want to tell us what to do with our money. If you really look at that is pretty ballsy I think. Okay I have to say that I agree with you. So here is my question then what are you going to do with your money? I was talking with a retired man one day who is drinking himself to death. I am not joking. When I first met the man he was tell working. He was telling me that he could not wait to retire and re-lack. It has been two years now he has been to rehab two times and has had about three drink related accidents. So I guest to question is what are you going to do with your money and time.

One I talked to a man that had a friend who at 60 did not retire nor did he at 65, 70, 75, or 80. Some people would say that working kept him alive. Well at 81 he could not walk without falling, he has trouble seeing and his health is so, so. His past social life was little as he was always working. Many of his family members and friends are pasted away. So now he has the money but not one to spent it on and he is in no condition to spend it as he would have liked too. Nor can he really enjoy it. Life is about living not watching it pass you by while you wait for your own time to pass. You can not take it with you.

One day I spoken with a lady that makes a lot of money drives, an expensive car yet she is miserable on the inside. She will fire a single mother who had made a few bad choices in her life yet is visibly working hard to correct her mistakes and is moving in the direction. Yet turn a blind eye on her own regular and repeated missteps. Then to make herself feel as she is help will spend money that is not hers to hire a company to recycle some items for the good of the environment. Again dismissing her own daily environmental footprint and impact on our world.

One day spoke with a very nice young lady that told me that she gives at her church. I told her that was great. I then asked her where did her donation go. She told me that they where in the process of building a new bigger church. So I asked her what was wrong with the old church? She said nothing. Why where they building a new one she said we just needed a new building. I said okay then asked her what kind of car did her pastor drive. The lady smiled and very happily told me he the pastor just got a new Mercedes and his wife the co-pastor just get a new Jaguar a few months ago. I then ask the lady what type of volunteer activities she had done. Her answer was no she did not done any. She then asked me if I volunteered I said yes and that I have for the last 8 years teaching for a local non-profit and for over 7 years before that at the local boys and girls clubs where I lived.

Then you have companies like Enron and those people who wasted millions on things that they really did not even want or need. This along with the rising cost of gas, food, and transportation. We have hundreds of people losing their jobs and homes. Jobs going over sea you call a customer service number and you find that you are talking with someone you can not understand. Plus does not seem to know how to assist you with the matter you call them for in the first place. We are in the worst debt in history at a county. I think we need to work to help each other here in America.

Dale Carnegie said he spend half of his life making money his future and he said that he would spend the other half giving it away. Very few can say that Mr. Carnegie was not a very smart man. So we are back to what to do with your money. We run a martial arts school in northern Virginia we work with all types of people and I know that we do a lot of good for the community. So my suggestion is that you give the money to us. We will put it to good and positive uses. Like scholarship programs for students that want to train in the martial arts and get in better physical condition. People that need to find and move in a positive direction. Young people who have entered into a positive martial arts environment and are positive and active in the community help them with higher educational goals like going to college. People if your donation helps to keep one child in the school doing productive things and out of trouble that it a great and wonderful thing. No one person can save to world but each of us can make a difference.

How you give and what you give is up to you. My promise is that your donation will help many who could use it. In these uncertain times and your donation will go to assist those here in the US. There is more to life then money that is true. But the lack of money can make life hard.

Success story: We had four students that just before start at our school where not doing well in school. After talking with the parents we found that the parents did not think they would all graduate high school. Not only did these students graduate one was offered 3 full scholarships and one partial. All of them are also now in college and doing well. By the way the scholarships were for academics.

Today Is Now!

By Zurriane Bennett

San Yama Bushi & Combination GoJu
School of Self Defense
http://www.sybcg.com

Moving From Fear to Attracting What You Want

2008-04-25T12:33:00.000-07:00

Have you ever realized that our entire planet runs on the energy of fear? If you have never taken the time to wonder the core reason most people will never attract their desires think for a moment. Fear is at the heart of all our troubles.

The key ingredient which holds everyone back from attracting their desire is the fear that it is not possible. There is the fear of not being good enough and the fear that there is lack in the world and the fear of what will happen if you do succeed.

Even the greatest success motivator will tell you that with each new goal they hope to manifest there is an element of fear they must overcome. Here are 3 ways of overcoming your fears and finally attracting the life of your dreams.

Small Steps Lead to Big Wins

Nothing great was ever manifested in one sweeping step. If you desire to change your life in a big way and manifest your greatest desires start with small action. After you have succeeded with each small step you will gradually gain confidence with each win. Each wining step will confirm to your subconscious mind that you are making progress and what you desire to manifest is very possible.

Examine the Stories of Those Who Have Gone Before You

You can learn more from the actions of those who can share their failures. In that way you learn what not to do. Although great success comes with bring first hand and practical you can learn by listening and watching the pitfalls. Every great success story came with lots of failed attempts. Learn from those who failed and won.

Immersion

In order to master anything in life you must immerse yourself deeply within that topic. You must be willing to invest lots of your time reading, learning and taking action. Manifesting is an inner and outer awareness and development of the self. The more you engage all of your time within the topics you hope to overcome the faster you can move from fear to power.

Sign Up for a Free Manifesting Software and Magic Money Newsletter
http://www.cosmic-wealth.com/lawofattraction
Discover the ancient techniques to manifesting faster resutls using simple yet powerful techniques found in the powerful Magic Money ebook written by Daniel Hinds.

Who Do You Trust?

2008-04-25T12:30:00.000-07:00

"To pursue success effectively, you must build supportive relationships that will help you work toward your goals. To build those relationships, you need to trust others: and to earn their trust, you in turn must be trustworthy." - Stedman Graham

From 1957 to 1962 a popular game show called "Who Do You Trust?" aired on television. Edgar Bergen and then Johnny Carson hosted, so it was also a funny show. People participated as pairs, usually married couples. The premise of the show was that contestants had to choose who would answer the questions in order to win prizes. The challenge to them was, "Which of you feels confident with this category? Who do you trust?"

Consider how well you might do on such a show. Maybe you are playing that game already! Every day you answer the trust question.

I know that it is very important to me that people trust me, and I feel hurt when someone does not trust me. In those cases, I usually reason that the person does not know me. They need to find out that I am capable and true to my word. You deserve that same trust.

Where did we get the idea that we can't trust people? What makes you think you can't trust yourself? Get past those voices that are giving the negative perspective! This relates to the concept of "innocent until proven guilty." Your life can be so much easier if you begin thinking "trustworthy until proven otherwise."

Trust is wrapped up with honesty and quality. Do you believe, honor, and respect the other person? Do you have the confidence that they will follow through on their commitments with quality work? Do you give yourself this same level of trust? If you are concerned about errors, do you trust that you can remedy the situation if there are mistakes?

Great managers reject the notion that trust must be earned. Marcus Buckingham and Curt Coffman debunk that theory in their book, "First Break All the Rules: What Great Managers Do Differently." Here is what they said about the great managers in their study. "They know if, fundamentally, you don't trust people, there is no line, no point in time, beyond which people suddenly become trustworthy. They believe that if you expect the best from people, then more often than not the best is what you get."

Begin with yourself. The wise philosopher Goethe said, "As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live."

Self-trust is the first secret of success.- Ralph Waldo Emerson.

Anna Watkins is a Career Coach with a special interest in group coaching and Master Mind Groups, networks of like minded people who support and help each other stay on track with their life goals. You can learn more about the resources she offers through her website: http://www.one-e-anna.com

Become A Mighty Oak

2008-04-24T09:48:00.000-07:00

Lets learn from nature

I have let my thoughts wander while trying to find an introduction to my young entrepreneurs meeting and I started thinking about nature [again] it seems that we can learn so much from the natural world if only we look.

The main thing that we forget is that we are part of this wonderful natural world. The first thing to consider is that everything in nature is programmed to become the best they can , plants, trees, animals, fish etc.. they are all pre programmed to achieve the very best status that they can. Like humans they encounter hurdles and obstacles, but they never change their programme. If a plant lacks water it withers and hangs on to life until it gets more water, the minute it gets more water it just carries on trying to achieve being the best it can. It does not say that was too hard I think I will just make do from now on.

When I thought about the humble acorn, I came up with a wonderful analogy. I have often said before that no one can tell an acorn that it will not grow into a mighty oak, but I had never considered the odds of it actually achieving its goal.

On one oak tree there are many thousands of acorns, they are all programmed to be very successful oak trees. Let us follow the journey of an acorn as it tries to fulfil its goal.

Once they fall to the ground things really start to hot up, squirrels start collecting them to store up for the winter, wild pigs eat them, birds start to eat them in fact things are looking a bit shaky.

The few who actually get blown or somehow arrive at a fertile place, start to germinate and take root. Once they are saplings they once again become food for various creatures.

So out of the thousands of acorns that fell from the tree, very few will actually reach their full potential.

What is the point of all this I hear you say.

Well the point is that although only a few acorns become big oak trees, if they had been blessed with a brain like us humans, I should think that the species would die out.

The actual hardships that they are faced with makes no difference to the individual acorn, because he has a programme that says he will grow into a mighty oak as soon as he is given the opportunity. He cannot think of what has happened to his brothers and sisters, and he cannot worry about what might happen once he germinates. He is only interested in becoming the best oak tree he can.

Once again I hear you saying Croz has finally lost it.

Well the difference between you and the acorn, is that you can position yourself at any time to reach your full potential. You are in control and not at the mercy of others.

If you just forgot about the past and all the negative programming and just said to yourself, I am going to be the best I can possibly be and achieve all I desire, and I will deal with any situation as it is presented, and not imagine things to solve, you too may become a mighty oak.

Croz is a talker and thinker. check out his website http://www.croz.com.au Also check out this website where Croz is helping a young lad earn one million dollars in one year http://www.thehappysecret.com

The World Awaits - You Need Only to Say Yes!

2008-04-24T09:46:00.000-07:00

Saying yes to life, to your gifts, to your birth right to experience life to the fullest, is a powerful affirmation we can say each day. I remember when I was young, and my mother would wake me up for school each morning, the first word I would utter with dread and anguish upon awakening was, "no." What a way to start off the day! Little did I know what I was creating for myself with the energy behind that one word. How many times do we say things that we wouldn't otherwise say if we realized the power and magnitude of the words we choose in the moment? Living consciously is challenging yet can truly change our lives. Every word we speak and every thought we focus on, sets the stage for the energy and experience of the day and ultimately, of our lives.

There's more to it than merely changing a word or perspective, however we have to start somewhere and that's one simple way we can effectively and instantly start to transform our experiences. Gratitude, presence, being in your heart, staying unconditionally compassionate with yourself and others, patience (since the only time restraints are those we contrive), and embracing everything as perfectly divine are ways we can go even further. It's quite the undertaking, but at least if we have the desire to experience life in this way, then we are half way there.

Part of the journey with all of this is to continually encourage ourselves to go a little further each day. To reach that one extra step, no matter how small. It's not easy, but can make a world of difference when we take the step to commit ourselves to the process, our path, the journey.

Gratitude is a wonderful starting point and when we come to understand the power of this and how it can change things drastically, amazing things begin to shift and take form from a simple perspective change. We are more than we give ourselves credit for and there is more waiting for us than we are aware. There is so much to be grateful for.

The world is a playground of possibilities and a canvas of diverse colors we have yet to discover. We become comfortable in our own worlds of existence, never realizing that across the globe, millions of people are sharing in this experience of life with us, right here and right now; people that are beautiful in every way and share a common thread of the pursuit of love and fulfillment. Expanding our horizons in whatever way relative to your experience and abilities is truly vital. Lessening up on mass information intake and opening up more to your own personal experience and to the beauty of the Universe is helpful.

Saying yes to life and to your right to experience it to the level of your own personal fulfillment is the key. Doors will magically open when we start to make changes and support and believe in our dreams. It starts with you.

Whatever your dream may be, have the courage to follow it and support it. It's a dream for a reason. Not merely to just stuff it all away to subdue your blues. We're alive for a reason. Not to just be in the physical, but to integrate it with the spiritual for an all-encompassing totality of experience. There is much out there to explore and if you have the desire, there is a way.

Tania Marie is a Reiki Master Teacher, Visionary Artist, & Host of Sacred Journeys to Egypt, residing in Incline Village, NV. For more information about her work and services please visit http://www.taniamarie.com or call (775) 343-9244. Treatments & classes available by distance or at Reno & Tahoe locations.

Feel Your Fear and Do It Anyway!

2008-04-24T09:45:00.000-07:00

How to Create Exciting Breakthroughs in your Work and your Life:

"How do you know if you can't do it, unless you try?" This is what Pablo, our adventure guide on a recent trip to Mexico said to me, as he looked me straight in the eyes. I was poised to repel down 40 feet in the air into a Mayan sink hole that was 39 feet deep. I was all harnessed up in my gear and my husband and two kids were already swimming in the water with the rest of our group of 8. All that was left was Susan from Texas, me, and our guide, Pablo. Susan decided she couldn't do it and left me facing Pablo. He repeated, "How do you know you can't do it, unless you try?"

This is actually an excellent question! My palms were sweating and waves of anxiety went through me. I decided to feel my fear and do it anyway! Pablo calmly encouraged me, "You can do it, chica!" I got into place and scaled the stone wall down into the cave, all the while white-knuckling it, as I lowered my rope slowly but surely. My confidence began to override my fear as I came closer and closer to achieving my goal. I did it!

Soon I was swimming in this ancient and sacred water hole. There is something quite marvelous, exhilarating and empowering, to dare yourself to do what scares your socks off! I'm so glad that I felt my fear and did it anyway! What scares you? Where could you take a big step forward in your business and/or your personal life? Perhaps you could:

Quit talking about a good idea and actually take massive action on that idea! Take on more opportunities to be more visible in the marketplace Go ahead and enroll in a high-end coaching program for 1st class mentoring from an expert. Perhaps it's your time to do more public speaking?

My coaching challenge to you this week is to choose something BIG that you'd like to do, be or have in your business or in your personal life and make a commitment to do it. Be smart and line up support. Without wise Pablo on my side, I probably wouldn't have dared to go beyond my comfort zone. So go for it! I encourage you to take on a challenging goal. Carpe Diem!

Learn more about Diana and receive your FREE Report, "3 Huge Mistakes People Like You Make to Sabotage Their Success & How You Can Completely Avoid Them!" and FREE subscription to "Life & Work Design Secrets" e-newsletter, please visit http://www.DianaLong.com.

The Basics Needed For Success

2008-04-23T12:33:00.001-07:00

Regardless of whether it is individual, group or team success we are pursuing there is wide array of skills, knowledge and passion needed to attain our prescribed definition of success. Each pursuit will be individually different depending on a number of issues involved. The individuals or team members involved, the environment in which you operate, the amount of competition that is chasing the same cherished prize.

Even with all of these individualities there are some constants as well. As with many other articles this is not meant to be an exhaustive list but a snapshot of some of the key areas that is associated with all pursuits of success.

The concept is to use this list to help you create your own. To take what has been outlined and expand upon it. I have heard many times that to be successful find someone that has done what you aspire to and do what they did.

I am not so sure about that. Obviously by doing this you will get close to the same result they have had. Nothing wrong with that? Sure, but how about we look at this concept. Look what has been done and how it was done and then think it through

to another level. This way the result you will achieve will be far superior to the original concept and result.

This is what I would like you to do with this list. Look at it understand it and how it relates to you. Expand upon it, rewrite it, but when you do rewrite it, do it to another level.

So here is a brief insight into some of the resources needed for success.

Time

Probably our most sacred commodity. How many times have you heard lack of time being used as reason for lack of performance?

Pursuing success takes time both, long term and short term. You need to workout a strategy of time usage. This strategy will need to take into account what amount of time you will need on a daily basis. You will also have to take into account how long you will need to pursue your success. If you have not planned you're time usage correctly and you find yourself short of time you will begin to take short cuts and make compromises to get what needs to be done in the reduced amount of time.

Understanding

What is this pursuit of success all about? What do I need to attain it. Who has done this in the past. Who can I use to help me. What are the pitfalls in this pursuit that I am about to undertake? When I achieve this success what am I going to get from it?

These and many other question should be asked and answered well before the pursuit of success begins. The better the understanding the better the planning, the better the planning the increased chances of attaining the success.

Skill

What skills are needed to attain the success we desire? Many times success has not been pursued because the people involved do not believe they posses the skills needed. They may well be right. But I see the gaining of the skills required as part of

the journey that success is.

As I said earlier the real key is to identify the skills needed and then do a balance sheet of the skills you have and the skills you may require.

Knowledge

What intellectual strengths do you have that is going to allow this pursuit of success to become reality? There is distinct difference here between understanding and knowledge.

Understanding is your insight to the general concept you are pursuing. Knowledge is part of the skill base you have that will help you achieve your desired result.

If your knowledge areas are lacking then the attainment of newfound knowledge becomes part of the process to attaining your success. No matter what knowledge you require there is fair chance it is documented somewhere all you need to do is being committed and resourceful in finding that knowledge.

Attitude

Take a minute here to think about people that you deem to be successful. What is there attitude like. Some are very much in your face others a little more laid back. But regardless of the public perception they all have to varying degrees an attitude.

Some take the time to share it with us where other keep it to themself. What you do is you're decision. But an attitude very much becomes a significant part of pursuing success. The one thing you need to be careful of don't let ego or attitude be mistaken for arrogance. Most of us can handle a healthy attitude very few of us can handle arrogance at any level.

Don't try to become something you are not, but a healthy dose of attitude will go along way to helping you achieve your success.

Support

Without doubt you will need help in your pursuit of success. This help can be in a variety of ways. Perhaps someone actually helping you on the day to day because of the skills they have. A group of people working as support group to help you through the good times and the bad.

Perhaps a mentor or a coach that will help you see the light when all you can see is darkness.

No doubt you are a talented individual but find the right people that can compliment your individual brilliance. Your success or the pursuit of it will be greatly enhanced by the support and input of others.

Commitment

Doesn't matter how much or to what degree you want what you do. Unless you have an absolute, no compromise, no questions asked commitment to your success and the things needed to achieve it there is fair chance you will come up short.

Now you like I have had first hand experience in seeing someone with very little effort achieve a significant result. How did they do it? It is a question I have asked myself many times, it is a question I have asked the people I have witnessed do it

many times. I am still no closer coming up with a definitive answer.

But I will say this if you are serious about pursuing success don't leave anything to chance. You will needed commitment and plenty of it. Commitment is easy in the early part when emotion is running high. Commitment is easy when things are going well.

Commitment is easy when you can see yourself getting closer to your desired result.

Commitment is really needed when none of the above is present. Commitment is needed when it seems like it is just you against all of the odds that are present. Commitment is needed when everything around is telling you that you cannot to attain your success.

Now what we have gone through are a few basic ingredients for success. Basic in concept, complex in instigation and exciting with the results they will bring. Success is about doing the basic thing exceptionally well and doing them consistently.

For More Information Visit http://www.totalperformance.com.au

Or Email us totalperformance@totalperformance.com.au

Bill Nelson is an elite international sporting coach who has turned his knowledge of developing peak team and individual performance into a world-class corporate consultancy, Total Performance Concepts Pty Ltd.

Bill's wisdom on the science of motivation, performance coaching and team building has been utilised by business organisations, defence forces, the real estate and telecommunications industries, educational institutions, local government, numerous businesses and elite sporting programs throughout the world.

Should Success Be Headstrong Or Heartfelt?

2008-04-23T12:31:00.000-07:00

Is success possessions or passion?

In Our western society success is inclined to be associated with possessions and material wealth. The saying;" The boys with the most toys, wins" is true; anyway according to the marketing media. Does our society as a whole, believe success is only a gauge of materialism? Have the merchants so mesmerized the people that we now relate to materialism as the criteria for success?

While money and material possessions can be an outward sign of personal or business success it does not define it. Success is; the accomplishment of personal, worthwhile goals." In this definition, success becomes a mind set or belief in a particular goal. . . no matter what it is. It is in this arena that we set the stage for accomplishment. What is viewed as success by our family, neighbors, friends and associates is the acquisition of material possessions as in size of home, type and how many cars, clothing, yacht, and so on.

The web is redefining success

The web is a prime example of relationship detachment. It breeds self-reflection, self-indulgence, self-importance and alienation from personal relationships. When you're main focus is on how much money you can make, you tend to become detached from the real world. Deceit, lies, and downright theft have become food for success on the web. Every "pitch page" looks the same, every email another come on. What happened to morals, values and honesty?

While money is viewed as an outward sign or measure of personal career or business success, it reflects only a small piece of the bigger picture that is life.

A successful life should encompass far more than work or finances, although they are an important part of the total picture. Success encompasses five areas for stability in a life experience.

The Wheel of Life.

1. Spiritual - your relationship with God and nature.

2. Family - your relationship with your family and the family of man.

3. Finances - financial independence, your ability to keep your finances in order

4. Physical - keeping fit to face life's challenges

5. Mental - staying mentally fit to better decipher right from wrong.

These five important characteristics are inborn traits of man as transferred from God. (let us make man in our image and likeness) Because humans were created with God like qualities they are pleasant in the sight of God. The senses, sound, taste, sight, feel, emotion, imagination, compassion, and pleasure are all regulated for our protection. God placed a threshold on the senses of humans so He could experience His creation through their relationship with it. For our own protection, God has isolated us by the shear vastness of His ever expanding creation. To God everything is normal, but to man it is only normal within his ability of acceptance.

Life is a unified experience

Fulfillment of life is realized when all five areas are in unison. Perhaps you should contemplate your own specific themes and objectives that define your personal success desire so that you can better know yourself and evaluate success on your own terms. As you think about what success means to you, ask yourself a few pertinent questions:

1. Do I Enjoy My Life Now?

Even though your life experience may not always be desirable, you can still experience happiness and satisfaction. Open your eyes to those things that bring you joy, and embrace them into your everyday life.

2. Am I Enriching Someone Else's Life?

Relationships become meaningful when you demonstrate caring and love while enriching their lives in the process. Perhaps your mission in life should be in reaching out through personal giving and talents to make a positive difference in someone else's life. It could be in the smallest thing like lending an attentive ear, or speaking words of encouragement when your spouse, child, coworker or friend is downhearted. Strive to make a difference to at least one person every single day.

3. Can I Take The Heat When Fronted With Challenges?

Sometimes life comes at you ninety miles per hour but it is only a journey of perceptions. If your perceptions become challenges or problems try telling yourself; "This is only a learning experience and I will be a better person because of it.," It's all in how are you perceiving the experience, you could continually feel frustrated and sorry for yourself but these perceptions would serve no gainful purpose. It is in facing challenges and persevering that you develop into a mature individual. It is in diversities you are able to increase your capacity for managing life and face the many opportunities you will encounter.

4. Do I already Have The Things I Need To Enjoy Life?

To "enjoy life" may have different meanings for different people. Enjoying life is a mindset and something you have control over, so you should set your goal to enjoy life with abundance. God supplies abundance for you to take advantage of. He only ask for you to be a good and thankful steward. It is ok to make it a goal to strive for abundance in your life; whether it be money, relationships, time, love, or resources. Living in abundance means you can donate money and time when appropriate and still focus clearly on your goals. It is an empowerment that you can share with those you love and admire. You are able to give freely of yourself, your time, abilities, as you reach out in love and generosity.

5. Am I Successful In The Eyes Of GOD?

The litmus test is if you have it in your heart to focus on what's important in life while viewing it from a spiritual perspective. Since everything is borrowed from God, can you then Love Him with all your heart, all your soul, and with all your mind; and love your neighbor as yourself? When you look in the mirror what is reflected? Does success come from the heart or is it only a means to an end? Ask yourself if you are successful because, you're thankful and giving.

You have but one life, live it well.

Don't let anyone plot your destiny or define success for you. Your definition of success is your character and purpose. Take the time now to reach into your heart and create your own meaning. What does success mean to you? Do you have the courage to stand up to your own measure of success and display it for the world to see? By what standards will you gauge what is meaningful for your life?

Happy Trails

Donald Yates, Former Director of Business and Leadership Development for Imperial Research, is now retired but continues to assist young people in engaging life through self discovery, Life course planning, intuitiveness and fulfillment. Learn how you can build a powerful organization of your own. To learn more, visit http://www.clean4profit.com and http://www.rockeriders.com

Self Confidence - Eight Little Words That Will Pick Up Your Confidence!

2008-04-18T10:00:00.000-07:00

After a rather difficult day during a hectic week, I decided to have a "comfort" evening. For me, this means crawling into my oldest most comfortable pajamas, fixing a favorite meal, and watching a well- loved movie. My choice this time was Bridget Jones's Diary as it always makes me laugh and I think Colin Firth is a real hunk.

I have a favorite scene. It's where Bridget gets stuck eating dinner with a group of friends, most of whom are married. They give her a hard time about being single. As she gets ready to leave, Mark Darcy (Colin Firth) comes down the stairs and bumbles through a speech about how he likes her even though he shouldn't. Their conversation is pure "Pride and Prejudice," but one line he says always brings tears to my eyes.

He says to Bridget, "I like you just the way you are."

When I hear this line, I always think it is the best pick up line there ever was. Every man should memorize it. I told this to my boyfriend and laughingly said he needed to say this to me more often. He smiled a mischievous grin and said, "This is a line you need to say to yourself more often."

He's a wise man, that boyfriend of mine and so right! As a great believer in the power of affirmations, I decided that every morning when I get up and look in the mirror, I will say "I like ME just the way I am!"

I've been practicing this affirmation for quite awhile and I have found it helpful. I admit there are days when I look in the mirror and it is really hard to get the affirmation out. But I've learned to make myself say it with gusto, even if it makes me laugh.

If you struggle with self-confidence, why not try this. It can't hurt. Say it right now "I like ME just the way I am!" Okay, now say it again with even more feeling. Keep saying it over and over until you feel the power of these eight little words.

It's okay not to believe these words right away. I know I struggle with it sometimes. I think it's because it takes time to quiet those old voices, who like Bridget's married friends, like to remind us of where we fall short. But I really believe if we just keep repeating the phrase, eventually we will convince our minds to believe it.

And there is scientific evidence that supports this. Evidently, you really can teach your mind to believe something you say over and over again. Then again, this ought to make sense. Many of us learned the negative things we believe about ourselves because someone told them to us over and over again. So, why wouldn't positive affirmations work?

I plan to keep practicing these eight little words and I encourage you to give them a try, as well. Who knows you may find your self-confidence begins to grow the more you repeat the words! For my part, I will get up tomorrow morning, look in the mirror at my squashed hair, sleep wrinkled face and say "I like ME just the way I am!"

It's the best pick ME up line there ever was!

Sara Healy is a life coach who helps people with life and career transitions using their strengths and values. Find out how she can help you make positive changes in your life by contacting her at: http://www.sarahealy.com

Passion and Purpose as a Way to a Better Life of Kindness

2008-04-18T09:57:00.001-07:00

How many times do we ask ourselves what we are doing here on earth? What is this ride really supposed to be about, and what is my part in this huge cosmic scheme? When you awaken in the morning and start the new day, do you feel direction in your life along with a sense of purpose and meaning? As you retire at night do you feel you have contributed something of value that makes you feel good about what you put into the mainstream of life today?

These questions, however we ask them are an inescapable part of our existence and journey throughout this life time. So many people walk through their life unconscious, disconnected, numbed out and clueless, in regard to what their purpose is for being here. When I, Bob, was in college, I had an opportunity to do community based work in a little school house for Special Needs kids as a way of earning college credit. It was in the 60s, during the time of "Tune in, Turn on, and Drop Out" and with no shortage of "Altered State" experiences; the opportunity to work with these kids was the highlight of my college years.

I felt so gratified in the sharing of myself with those in need. And the receptivity and appreciation that I experienced from these kids was without parallel. I knew, without knowing, that I had found my Passion and Purpose. It took many years to let go of self defeating behaviors and attitudes in order to recognize that being in service to others was my "calling". There is no doubt in my mind that I was tapping into my authenticity when in service to these kids.

When you look at the work you do and the roles you play as parent, partner, community member, son/daughter, etc. it is quickly evident that there is some form of service embedded in all of these different roles. We are inherently wired to give and to serve. Whatever these roles in service are for each of us, there is pretty much, no escaping it. Hence, if we live from a getting paradigm we really miss the boat as to what our Passion and Purpose is.

There are obstacles, pitfalls, self defeating behaviors and beliefs that inhibit your capacity to fulfill your Passion and Purpose. They each have elements of fear which creates separation from our own authenticity.

The first obstacle we want to share with you is the "Pleasing Others" Syndrome (also referred to as Co-Dependence). If in your work/service experience there is a predisposition to look for approval, to be constantly worrying about pleasing others, this focus gets in the way of the joy and gratification that accompanies the work you are doing. It creates a burden and heaviness when the primary motive is about seeking validation. Embedded in this dynamic is a tremendous amount of fear and insecurity.

This fear can grip you in a way that creates more and more anxiety about performance and approval ratings, and thus robs you of the dopamine response (natural opiates in the brain) that is released when we are giving from a place of authenticity. It is not so much how you are in service to others as it is where you are coming from attitudinally. The more you unleash and dig out your fears, the more you will gravitate towards the Passion and Purpose that is waiting to reveal itself within you.

When we speak of fears it is in reference to the self deception, the limitations and the erroneous belief systems that inhibit going for your Greatness. Needless to say, there are healthy fears that keep you safe and protected. These fears are wired into our brains so that we don't put ourselves in harms way. The trick is being able to distinguish when it is truly our healthy fear responses being activated vs. a distorted belief that you need constant approval or validation for you to matter. The second obstacle to living from a place of Passion and Purpose is the attitude and accompanying behaviors that say you must be the "Superstar". Again, fear is going to be dwelling at the core of this ideology you live from. When you work from a place of Kindness, Compassion and Empathy, these forms of vulnerability become very empowering.

To operate from arrogance (I do no wrong) leaves you without humility, which is a fundamental part of fulfilling Passion and Purpose. We have to be willing and able to forgive our mistakes and allow for error, as long as we are honestly working towards the greater good of those we serve. When you can honestly say that you have given of yourself for fun and for free, without the need of reward or recognition, then you are living in a state of Passion and Purpose. The third pitfall that stands in the way of living from an authentic place of Passion and Purpose is leaving your spirit out of the process. Passion and Purpose bring with it a creative energy that feels fulfilling. You can feel tired at the end of the day as a result of the work you have done, but to equal measure there is energy that you experience as a result of the creative process.

In the corporate world, individuals have been taught to leave their soul out of the equation. If we don't bring our soul to work, then climbing the corporate ladder or creating business "success" is an empty experience that leaves you pushing, pushing and pushing looking for that elusive thing we call happiness and fulfillment. Bringing our spirit and soul to work is the happiness and fulfillment. The fourth obstacle that stands in the way of fulfilling Passion and Purpose is perfectionism. The perfectionist has unrealistic expectations of themselves and others. If you are invested in always being right, in making others wrong, this will greatly inhibit your pursuit of happiness and create a barrier in the fulfilling of your Passion and Purpose.

We can all strive for excellence without the need to dominate, control and be critical of ourselves and others. Once again, the lack of compassion, kindness and empathy, dwells at the center of perfectionism. And embedded at the core, is fear. When you live from a critical and controlling place the unauthentic response to being challenged will create defensiveness. As a result, there will be disconnection and alienation, even if you're right.

All of the above obstacles and pitfalls are centered in fear. Out of the fear a belief system of selfishness and self centeredness is designed. These pitfalls are so embedded into our work culture that they are seen as normal. Fortunately, more and more of us are awakening to the need for change and finding ways to be fulfilled and happy in service to others. Natural law will always work on our behalf when we are fulfilling our Passion and Purpose. As you follow your calling, people, resources and support systems will just show up. You are no different than a lighthouse with its beacon showing the way home to the ships at sea. The life force within each of us is the core of our authenticity and hence, our creativity. When connected to this deep place within we will circumvent fear and attract all of the good we could ever imagine. Below are a few questions to ask yourself in your pursuit of Passion and Purpose.

1. What excites you in a way that you would want to participate in daily?

2. When you are doing this exciting thing, does time and space temporarily cease to exist?

3. Do you feel challenged at a physical, emotional and spiritual level?

4. Is there a sense of accomplishment, fulfillment and achievement that manifests from these challenges?

5. When participating in what excites you, do you have a clear sense that this is what you want to be doing?

6. Do you enjoy this work so much that you would do it for free?

7. Do you get excited when you talk to others about what you do?

If you can answer yes to all of these questions you are certainly living from a place of Passion and Purpose. If you find you just wake up to go to your job without the accompanying passion, creativity and excitement, give yourself permission to get support. You deserve to feel fulfilled in this lifetime, and to be able to look back and feel you've made a difference for the better of mankind and/or the planet.

Brad Stevenson and Bob Sugar of Trans-World Dynamics' (TWD) mission is to guide individuals, couples, executives and businesses toward the practice of:

Trustworthiness, Honesty, Authenticity, Neutrality, Kindness, and Surrender (THANKs®).

As these sustainable principles serve to guide individuals in all areas of their lives, the rewards that we have seen CEOs, companies, executives and individuals experience are unprecedented.

Why Positive Thinking Doesn't Work

2008-04-18T09:54:00.000-07:00

One of the great fallacies in the self-help industry is the notion that you can change your life with "positive thinking."

The purveyors of positivism, starting with Napoleon Hill and including the people who now promote The Secret, contend that we all have, at our conscious disposal, the means to transform ourselves into walking, breathing success machines.

Some self-help gurus sell positive thinking because they know it is one of the most lucrative products to put in the marketplace. Change one thought and you can change your life! What better promise can you make to an underachieving, wanna-be-rich-and-successful couch potato?

And purely from a profit point of view, they are right. Positive thinking products making quick-and-easy promises account for more than a billion dollars a year in direct-mail and Internet sales. And that's just for the companies I personally know. The total number is probably multiples of that.

I am not saying all proponents of positive thinking are hucksters. Many are honest men and women who believe in the concept because they use it successfully in their own lives. They are usually people who have always been accomplished, excelling in sports or academics or business almost from the start. Their repeated successes gave them confidence that they can do just about anything. And they readily tap into that underlying feeling of confidence whenever they face a new challenge. In their hearts, they know they can succeed. So when they take on anything new, they can't help but believe they will be successful.

But what about the rest of the world? The 80 percent of the population that got C's in school and sat on the bench during ball games and had little or no success in business? What messages are buried in their hearts?

Well, the positive thinkers will tell you that is exactly the point. The people who struggle on without success are failing because they don't really think they can succeed. If only they could change their thinking, they would do better.

And so the therapy for these self-doubters is positive thinking. Stand in front of the mirror in the morning and repeat 20 times: "I am a good person. I can do anything. I will be successful."

It's very appealing. Two or three minutes of talking to your mirrored image, and a mental switch will be turned. Everything after that will come to you effortlessly.

The reality is different.

Does Positive Thinking Work?
A study mentioned by Julie Norem in her book The Positive Power of Negative Thinking confirms my belief that though positive thinking may work for people who already have an optimistic way of looking at their abilities, it doesn't work for people who are pessimists.

Researchers divided their subjects (all identified as pessimists) into two groups. They told one group that, based on their past performance, they were going to do well on a standardized test they were about to be given. And these subjects indicated on a pre-test survey that they did, indeed, feel optimistic about their results. The second group was not given any encouragement. The results? The first group, the temporarily optimistic pessimists, actually performed worse on the test.

I've been critical of the idea of positive thinking for years, because I think it is useless to the people who most need help in changing their lives: people who have deeply held negative feelings about what they can accomplish.

Positive thinking works only for those who are emotionally positive. Usually, these are people who have a history of being successful. People who have been good wrestlers, for example, find it easy to believe they will win their next wrestling match. Entrepreneurs like yours truly find it easy to believe their next business venture will be successful.

When you are emotionally positive, you can't help but think positively about everything.

So thinking positively helps. But it only helps the 20 percent of the population that is already emotionally positive. The rest of the population, the 80 percent of the world that is emotionally negative, cannot be helped by positive thinking.

I knew this was true, though I didn't know exactly why. When I wrote about it in the past, many ETR readers objected. When I spoke about it at conferences, attendees complained to me afterward. They seemed angry. As if I was trying to take something precious away from them.

They believed I was trying to deny their best chance of succeeding. Meanwhile, what I was really trying to do was get them to stop conning themselves and take the specific actions that would help them achieve their goals.

As the years passed, I would meet some of these same people at other conferences. They were still attending self-improvement seminars, still carrying positive-thinking books, and still upset with me for telling them that positive thinking wouldn't change their fortunes. It had, after all, worked for the people promoting all those seminars and books.

Year after year. Decade after decade. They stayed poor. They stayed stuck. But they wouldn't give up their dream of changing their lives quickly and easily by changing their thinking.

I was never able to articulate why it was that I knew positive thinking would never work for these people. But then I read a book that helped me understand: A General Theory of Love. It was written by three eminent psychotherapists and neuroscientists. I have posted my notes on this book on my website (which I recommend you read), but let me tell you very briefly what it taught me that sheds light on this issue.

Essentially, our emotions are deeply rooted in the way our minds are wired. There is a scientific basis for many of our emotional responses and how we relate to others. At the same time, our interactions with the world and people around us have a profound impact on our attitude. This interaction, which can actually alter neural pathways in the brain, begins in infancy and influences our development.

So if you grew up with negative feelings about your ability to achieve success, that's the way your brain is wired. And no amount of positive thinking will change it.

Here is what the authors of A General Theory of Love have to say about the self-help industry:

"A vigorous self-help movement has championed the hoax that a strong-willed person, outfitted with the proper directions, can select good relationships. Those seduced into the promise of a quick fix gobble it up. But the physiology of emotional life cannot be dispelled with a few words...

"... Self-help books are like car repair manuals: You can read them all day, but doing so doesn't fix a thing."

To change yourself from being emotionally negative to emotionally positive, you have to get some solid successes under your belt. And that's where another success technique - visualization - comes in. But this one works. Visualization is a proven and useful technique for achieving peak performance.

It's no secret that many of the most successful people in the world - including entertainers, athletes, and CEOs - used visualization to help them achieve their goals.

Take Tiger Woods...

"Visualization has become a major part of my shot-making, especially as it pertains to shaping shots... It makes a huge difference in your performance."

And Jack Nicklaus, one of the greatest golfers to ever grace the game, said, "I never hit a shot, not even in practice, without having a very sharp in-focus picture of it in my head. It's like a color movie."

Famed sports psychologist Bob Rotella charges thousands of dollars per session to help pro athletes and business executives achieve success through visualization. In addition to coaching pro PGA golfers and top athletes in the NBA and NFL, he coaches high-ranking executives at Merrill Lynch, Morgan Stanley, General Electric, Coca-Cola, and many other companies.

Matt Furey - world-class martial artist and top Internet marketer - credits visualization for his success. Matt's wrestling coach told the scrawny, uncoordinated high school teen he never had a chance. But by using the power of visualization, Matt gained the confidence to win match after match - and became a champion wrestler in high school and college.

Later, Matt became World Kung Fu Champion - thanks, again, to visualization and the very positive attitude that was now buried deep in his limbic brain (the part of the brain involved in emotional behavior).

As I said, people who are emotionally positive about their chances for success have a history of succeeding. They're doers, not dreamers. So forget about positive thinking. Instead, start rewiring your brain by working toward the goal you want to achieve or practicing the skill you want to master.

At first, you won't feel very good about what you're doing, because you won't be very good at it. But stick with it. Remember that it takes about thousand hours to achieve competency in anything that's worthwhile.

Start by setting very modest objectives. Use visualization to help you excel at specific tasks and overcome specific challenges. But don't waste your time repeating useless mantras. Actions - only actions - will reprogram your limbic brain and turn you into a real "success machine."

Article written by Michael Masterson for Early to Rise, the Internet's most popular health, wealth, and success e-zine. For a complimentary subscription, visit http://www.earlytorise.com.

Why Pursue Happiness Over Money?

2008-04-17T11:28:00.000-07:00

What a question! You can say that. But did you know that when it comes to life priorities, people are always wondering whether or not they ought to pursue money more or to be in a career where they are more fulfilled in? Sometimes, it's easier to choose money and fame. In situations like we need to feed the baby, to care for the parents, to make sure there's shampoo in the shower and bread in the kitchen and many other consideration, who can blame someone who'd choose fame and money from happiness. Yet, it's important for us that our careers aren't tossed-up between happiness or financial security. Given the best option for you to choose, would you agree with me that we need to choose what is more important: fulfillment, equated to happiness, over money?

Why pursue happiness over money? Again, a thought-provoking question (or is it?) when your body's run dry, and health care seems to be the first thing you worry about whenever payday comes, it's a sure sign that your high-paying yet high-stress job just isn't worth it. Wellness and well-being are the best benchmarks of a great career. When your job is something you enjoy doing, and not something you feel like you have to just drag your body out of bed for, in order to get to, then you are at the best possible place for you to be in.

In order to be at your most productive, you have to love what you're doing. So in order to help you find what you should get into, you could ask yourself the following questions:

1. What is it that you are passionate about?

Passion is the best determinant for one's career. When you are passionate about something, you would give your all to what you are doing, and you would consequently reap the best results possible. You won't look to the left nor to the right when you are driven to succeed in what you are doing; rather, you will put your energies into it, and consequently, you will be at your most productive, and yet since you enjoy your tasks, you will feel like it's mere child's play to do what you have to for your goals and targets.

2.How much do you want to earn?

Yes, we talked about choosing happiness over money, but it is important to know how much you want to earn from your job or business in order to position yourself well. This would prove beneficial, if, say, you are aiming for two careers. One is something you love doing, but wouldn't let you even pay the bills. The other is something you also love doing, you may not be as passionate about it, but you could still lose yourself doing the tasks for that job, plus it pays much more than the other career path you could take. Setting your target salary or income would help you make the right decisions and take the career path that's best for you.

3.What life or work-related experiences do you want to have?

Maybe you are one of those people who get into a job or a business in order to gather experience for the career/business you are ultimately targeting. If so, define the kind of career experiences you would like to have, and aim to get these, and use these as ladder steps to your ultimate goal. When you are scouting for jobs, use this definition to divide the line between the jobs you are considering and to help you choose the ones that would help you on to your goal.

A career is never just about money. It's about having a purpose in what you do, and being happy about it. Having a career should never eat up on your family time, or sap the happiness from your life. Aim for jobs or career moves that will allow you to grow, be happy and do the things you love doing, while providing for food on the table. Getting the best of both worlds isn't brain surgery, and in the long run, it just might save you from needing a brain surgery yourself.

Mina Togonon is Journalism graduate, someone who's most willing to learn, adopt and would love to share her opinions and talents for development. She writes out of passion in her personal blog 24 Hour Paradigm, she teaches out of commitment and she lives in a society where women are garnering status and power...silently but getting stronger everyday.

Using Your Creativity To Find Satisfaction In Life

2008-04-17T11:27:00.000-07:00

You make your life happen

So many people live their lives as though it is something that just "happens" to them. This is very sad because they are unaware that they are creating their own life and so they live their lives by default usually ending up with disappointment, depression and fear. Every single person on the earth has the power to create their own lives. Using that power brings us the greatest satisfaction and happiness that life has to offer. One of the ways we create our own lives is to use our creativity. Our creativity can be expressed in many different ways. Some people express their creativity by writing stories or poetry. Other people express their creativity with artistic expressions ranging from painting or drawing to sculpting to sewing or other types of crafts. Still for other people their creativity is expressed through interior design, make-up artistry or hairdressing. There are countless ways a person can express their creativity and each one of them brings intense satisfaction, happiness and fulfillment to the persons who allow themselves to fully use the capacity for creativity that exists within them.

Designing your own life

In some cases a person can use their creativity to literally design their life the way they want it to be. They use all the power of their imagination to see themselves being successful in their relationships, their careers and even in their spiritual lives. As they create these realistic impressions in their minds they begin to receive inspirational thoughts on how to manifest their desires into reality. As they take action on the inspiration they receive, their lives begin to take the shape they had imagined in their minds. According to Napoleon Hill, author of "Think and Grow Rich", this is exactly how all great successes have ever been created. Even a person who doesn't consider themselves the "creative type" can use their hidden creativity to design a successful life for themselves and their families.

Developing your talents

Most people have a variety of talents that they can express their creativity with and become successful at. It is important to explore all of your talents and take the time to develop and perfect them as much as possible. If Rembrandt had spent all of his time working in a factory and then sat in front of a television set for hours each day after work, you would never have heard of him and the world would have been cheated out of some amazing works of art. Don't cheat yourself or the world by wasting your life away on unimportant things, take the time to develop your creativity and see where it leads you.

Summary

Your life is whatever you decide to make of it. Each person has their own unique talents and creative abilities that they can use to shape the outcome of their lives. Talents are not developed in front of a television screen, so it is important to use your time wisely and discover or hone your special creative skills and abilities. As you use your creativity wisely you will discover greater satisfaction in life.

Andrea R. Lucas is the leading expert in the area of Life-Scripts, the blueprints by which we all live our lives. She is the founder of the DYSALA Method, which identifies the seven steps necessary to change a negative Life-Script to a positive one, and to live the life of happiness and abundance you have always wanted. Andrea is the author of "7 Steps To Personal Fulfillment" and numerous articles on this fascinating subject.

http://www.7StepsToPersonalFulfillment.com and http://www.SevenSecretSteps.com

Be More Creative - Are You Making Space In Your Life For Creativity To Fill?

2008-04-17T11:24:00.000-07:00

Often when we complain we're not more creative, the problem isn't actually at the source of our creativity. There's plenty of creative potential waiting to be called into action in all of us, and no shortage of ideas queuing up to be explored and developed. The problem is instead that your creativity has no outlet, nowhere to go, no space to fill.

Picture a young boy on a beach, digging big holes in the sand. The tide is slowly coming in and getting closer to where he's digging and he knows this and continues to carve out his holes. Pretty soon, he's stood in one up to his waist. The waves rush up the beach and seconds later our little friend with his bucket and spade is up to his waist in water.

The sea washes over and fills any dips and crevasses on the beach as it flows. If there's nothing but perfectly flat sand, the sea just washes right over the surface.

It's the same with your creativity. Your creativity will always be there, ebbing and flowing like a mighty ocean. And if you make space for it to fill - if you dig your own holes on your beach, it will gush in and fill them. If you don't, it simply washes over the surface, barely making any impact.

So what can you do to make sure you have made space for creativity in YOUR life?

There are 3 main areas:

1. Making space for creativity in your mind. If you don't have a welcoming and open attitude to creativity and being creative in your mind, you'll always struggle to create consistently. Think for a moment about your beliefs around your creativity. Do you truly believe that you're creative? Do you believe that new ideas will always flow to you? Do you believe that creativity is important in enough to you to make space for in your life?

If the answer to any of these is less than a resounding "YES", then it would pay off to spend some time working on some more positive beliefs, beliefs that allow you to welcome the idea that you're highly creative into your mind and allow you to be as creative as you can be.

2. Making space for creativity in your schedule. If you have the approach that many of us do, you tend not to make creative time much of a priority. "I create when I have time, I'm got so much other stuff going on in my life right now" is the general way of thinking. But, as I'm sure you know, saying you'll create "when you have time" is pretty much the same as saying "I rarely create".

The only way to create consistently is to create everyday. To actually make creativity enough of a priority to commit to 15 minutes minimum at the same time each and every day to creating. 15 minutes is only 1% of your total time each day. I'm sure you'll agree that anyone who wants to be more creative will find at least that amount of time to commit to it.

3. Making space for creativity in your physical surroundings. Do you have a desk or some kind of workspace where you go to create? Is there somewhere you get straight into creating whenever you wish? If each time you go to create you're overwhelmed by stacks of paperwork and other general clutter, and you have to clear a lot of stuff away before you have space to create, it's an instant creativity killer.

What can you do to make a space that's easy to create in, where everything you might need - materials, tools, equipment - is ready and close to hand? If you need to spend some time preparing a space to create in, rather than creating, then do this first. It will pay off no end in the long term, and allow you to create so much more easily, freely and deeply.

These are the 3 key areas to making space for creativity in your life.

Which if these do you feel you'd most benefit from focusing on? What steps can you take in the next 24 hours to move you forward in this area? Write down what you're going to do and when you're going to do it. Then do it!

I invite you to take the next positive step to increase your creativity today by downloading your free copy of the powerful and practical "Explode Your Creativity!" Action Workbook at http://www.CoachCreative.com

From Creativity Coach Dan Goodwin

Discovering Your Inner Strength

2008-04-16T13:25:00.002-07:00

What is inner strength? We have all seen it before and have watched in awe. Family members, friends, co-workers; people capable of digging into their core and achieve, at least it seemed, almost anything they set out to accomplish. They seemed to have the ability to move beyond fear, pain and worry, and simply focus on their landing spot, not on the ground to be traveled ahead. Are some people simply born with that or is it something that people can learn? I wondered about it often going through a divorce and being forced to think deeply about my life and the way I lived it. I watched carefully to see if there was something different about them overall, but couldn't pinpoint it. What I knew was that I was not one of those people. If something I was doing made me feel uncomfortable, I stopped doing it.

It wasn't until I was almost 40 that I hired a trainer to see if I could learn to be a fast runner. I was clear I could run the distance, as I had already crossed two marathon finish lines, but they both had the same style: slow and steady. It was my style, it seemed, by nature. I was good for the long haul, the commitment, but it would be slow and steady and without discomfort. So I thought this would be the perfect chance for me to see if in fact you could be taught how to find that inner strength, or if it was a gift that you either had or didn't.

On the first day of training, what I learned was that my very cute outfit was not going to be enough to get me through this workout. In my family, as long as you had the right outfit, one that made you feel good about yourself and looked good in the pictures, you were good to go. But in this arena, with my good looking 30-something trainer, I was clear that my outfit was the last thing he noticed. As a matter of fact, after the first ten minutes, I became consumed with where I could vomit and how that could ruin my reputation in the gym forever.

Did you want to ask me how old I was? I asked the trainer, in hopes of him lowering his goals for me.

No. Not necessary. I have seen you train...

That answer was not settling at all since my snail pace around the track, smiling all the way, was really based on my comfortable and steady pace.

I survived the first session, but questioned whether I would come back. I even considered donating the other nine sessions I had bought to a needy athlete somewhere. My trainer, though, was clearly onto me and was not going to let me bail out. Somewhere deep, he saw potential in me.

It seemed that his ability to see what I couldn't was just what I needed. I didn't become a speed demon over the next several sessions, but what I learned from him was invaluable. As American Express says, priceless. He taught me to listen to my inner voice and create the strength that I wanted to exist. He tuned out my complaints about what I could or couldn't do and told me to do it anyway. He taught me to feel the pain, become aware of sensations in my legs and to welcome the discomfort as a sign that I was moving to the next level.

It was an experience that definitely impacted my life. Although I didn't become a track star at 40, I clearly was learning to move beyond the discomfort that often gave me the permission to stop. One session while running sprints, I literally stopped, even though I knew he was timing me. I walked for a minute, and then began again to the finish.

Great job, he said, rattling off my time, but I said to run...not walk.
But my legs were...

He knew where I was going with my complaint and knew better than to hear me out. His goal was my goal, which was to get me to the other side. So what? He said without emotion. I said to run, so let's try that again.

I got that message loud and clear that day and realized how often I chose to settle into my comfort zone, rather than pushing myself to the end. It was a conscious choice I made regularly, as much as I wanted to believe it was some higher force. It made me think about how often I choose to stop, due to the discomfort I was feeling emotionally, or physically. His voice has stayed with me even two years later and still impacts the things I do. Whether soul searching for new clients, managing the drama of two teenage sons, or just running up the last hill of the race, the voice is still the same...your inner strength is there, you just have to choose to use it.

Lesley Geller is a Business Coach. She helps successful professionals exceed their expectations of growth. She works with small business owners, as well as individuals in large corporations looking to reach the next level. Lesley graduated from the University of Maryland is certified as a Coach through the Coach Training Alliance, which is recognized by the International Coach Federation. She is also a Freelance Writer and co-author of: 101 Great Ways to Improve Your Life. For more information about how to reach the potential you're capable of, visit her website at http://www.LesleyGeller.com or e-mail her at Lesley@LesleyGeller.com

Self Empowerment, Empower And Excel!

2008-04-16T13:25:00.001-07:00

Empowerment is simply put, personal growth. It's a form of maturity. Personal growth can come from challenges that you conquer. Have you ever took on some type of a challenge where other people were involved also? Like a running marathon or perhaps something on a smaller scale. But the object was not necessarily to win but to empower ones self to finish more so than to win. The object to you was just to see if you could do it. these type of challenges enables us to grow. To grow in a way that we know who we are. No one should ever tell you who you are, this is something that you yourself should be aware of and the more self empowered that you become the more that you will be aware. Believe it or not there is a power in that. A power of confidence that no one can ever take away from you.

I guess that that is why men strive to challenge themselves everyday sometimes, to become self empowered in other areas of their lives and thus becoming more. Always trying to be more, become more than they were the day before. One quality of a man is to be courageous. Are you courageous? Challenges! Challenges are different from one person to another. Each individual will go so far. Incidentally I'm not singling out women because women have the same issues as men when it comes to personal growth. Getting back to challenges. Challenges enables us as human beings to be able to gauge just how far we are willing to go for our quest for personal growth or self empowerment. Challenges doesn't always have to be dangerous. Challenges comes in different forms. There are social challenges, physical challenges,intellectual challenges, spiritual challenges and so on.

Actually what it comes down to is whatever area of your personal life that you feel you need more self development in. Such as you may not be a socially active person or out going but you want to be, or you may feel shy or disconnected around large crowds of people, or perhaps a woman that you may have feelings for but you close off or clam up every time you get near her. Self empowerment plays an important part in conquering it. Just because it didn't come natural to you as you were growing up doesn't mean that it can't be changed, although you will have to conquer that social deficiency through possibly "the challenge of going through it".

There are other reasons for certain dysfunctions such as traumatic experiences that leaves some of us less functional in certain areas of our lives that may require a more professional approach to help us to become empowered. I'm not discussing those type of self empowerment situations. Just the ones where people are perfectly normal with no traumatic experiences but more so just afraid to take that next step, kind of like a phobia where you just are afraid to excel because of thinking that something bad is going to happen or nothing may happen so you don't move forward. Whats needed a lot of times is the person needs a greater sense of confidence or self-esteem.

Trying to function with Low self-esteem and with little or no confidence in yourself or even being negative about everything is simply not a good way to empower ones self by no means. It is however a great way to stay unproductive and up under the stigmas that are holding you back from succeeding in your life. If you don't remember but one thing in your life remember this, negative thinking reaps negative results. It's a fact that people who think negatively about everything consistently not only carry themselves with bad body postures as well as always find something wrong in almost every situation.And positive thinking people are just the opposite while reaping positive results or find the positive out of a negative situation. Empowered people aways feel empowered no matter what, thats how you always find the best out of the worst.

The Thing is to get excited about something (not a girlfriend or a boyfriend) but some type of activity that you yourself can participate in and feel positive about, (the girls and boys can come later), the idea is to build up who you are to who you want to become. Having positive thinking and the ability to make change to become a positive person is something worth striving for. Other people will receive you better your out comes will be different and you'll begin to feel the power of change by the great results. Bottom Line: To increase one's positive self-image and overcome stigma!! Thats what self empowerment is all about. It's easy to excel from this type of platform. Let me say that people are all designed to be winners, to prosper, to be positive and most of all to help those that do not possess these Qualities.

Donald Whitehead:
Empowerment to excel! Self Empowerment to improve every aspect of your life.

Self-Esteem Is Something That Is Learned

2008-04-16T13:21:00.000-07:00

Self-esteem. It's one of those terms which has been batted about, used and misused, and often misunderstood during the last couple of decades. For a moment, set aside what you have already heard and what you may think about this term - and learn what a wonderful, important asset self-esteem is to you, and to your life!

Everyone wants to feel good about himself - to hold himself in high regard, and to realize that he has it within himself to reach for and attain his potential. However, if you think about yourself and about all of the people whom you know, you may wonder: how and why do some people have an abundance of this characteristic while others do not?

This is not as mystifying as it may appear! Self-esteem is a trait which is essential for a happy, productive life, and the fortunate ones seem to have more of this "blessing" than others. Notwithstanding, those who have not been so fortunate are completely capable of acquiring self-esteem, and having much more fulfilling lives as a result.

Self-esteem is something which is learned. If there are people in your life who seem to be overflowing with this trait, it is likely that they learned it early in life. Children who are fortunate to be raised in homes where they are frequently praised, and both their accomplishments and their individuality acknowledged on a regular basis, tend to grow up with high levels of self-esteem.

On the other hand, youngsters who are frequently "put down," rarely noticed unless they do something wrong, usually grow up suffering from low self-esteem. They have simply not learned that they, as people, have value.

Fortunately, even if this is the case with you and you are now somewhere in your adult years with little regard for yourself, this can change. You can learn how to see yourself as a truly worthwhile human being; you can learn how to focus on your strengths in order to reach your highest potential! And once you have begun this process, and have started to see amazing results, you will find that you can have a happier, more fulfilling life than you had ever dreamed!

Gaining a healthy level of self-esteem is neither a mysterious nor a difficult task. It will, of course, take motivation and determination on your part. The results, however, are well worth the effort! Learning how to see yourself in an entirely different way than you have before - how many strengths, positives, and potential you really do have! - is sure to be an enriching experience in itself. There is more, though - for when you begin to acknowledge all of assets which you already possess - that is the first step toward building the life of your dreams!

Are You Working With or Against the Current?

2008-04-12T13:05:00.001-07:00

I took the opportunity to go with my family to Golden Beach on the Sunshine Coast at the weekend to enjoy time out doing absolutely nothing involving any mental activity, except to plough through a Dan Brown novel (or is that an oxymoron?)

Sunday morning was a perfect Queensland spring day, temperature in the high 20's Celsius, low humidity, and deep blue skies with the occasional wispy cloud.

Checking out the flat calm, almost mill pond, blue water in PumiceStone Passage between Golden Beach and Bribie Island, we decided to hire a catamaran and a kayak and take to the water.

I took the kayak, and went straight out from the shore confident in my abilities on the flat water. I felt like I was paddling on a lake, it was so easy to make progress. I called to my husband on the catamaran, to let him know how easy kayaking is since I was just going with the current and not putting in much effort. It was so easy, so effortless. Oh, if I had just listened to what I was actually saying to myself!!

This is a good time to confess that I know precious little about tidal movements, currents and the like. I am a born land lubber. I had no idea that the incoming tide was creating a very fast current to the south between the island and the mainland, and what looked like flat calm to me, in the absence of white surf, was in fact hiding a very strong south bound tidal current.

After 5 or so minutes of peaceful drifting, wondering idly if the sun would join up the freckles on my arms, and other important questions on the meaning of life, I looked at the shore and realised I have indeed drifted easily with the current a long, long way from my starting point and from my family on their catamaran.

Not being in any way alarmed, and in total blissful ignorance of my real situation, I pointed the kayak north toward my family's boat and paddled toward them for about 10 minutes. I was still enjoying the perfect Queensland Sunday. Looking towards land I realised with dawning horror that my efforts were in vain, I was not moving closer to my family. In fact, I was paddling hard against a current which seemed to be gaining strength.

Not one to be deterred, I increased my efforts. I concentrated on my paddling technique to improve efficiency of movement and effort and focussed on the goal of reaching my family in the catamaran, now some 150 metres distant. I started to make slight, very slight, headway. After 5 more minutes of hard paddling, I was feeling mildly panicked as I realised I was getting more and more tired and I was firmly caught in the current.

There was no way I was going to get to my family if I kept on doing what I was doing!

I was out of my depth with out a life vest on a kayak in deep water!

Thankfully I have good friends who are qualified Surf Life Savers. I remembered a conversation where they explained how many tourist visitors to Australia get caught in rip tides and drown. A rip tide is an invisible(to the untrained eye) trap offshore which unwary swimmers get caught up in and get dragged in the rip away from shore. The swimmers often battle the rip until exhaustion takes over and they drown. The trick my friend told me is to swim across the rip at 90 degrees to safety - never to swim against the rip.

Remembering this conversation, and hoping the current was indeed a channel, like a rip, I turned the kayak through 90 degrees and headed west across the current to shore. I changed my point of focus from reaching my family to getting myself to safety.

A few more minutes of effort took me out of the current channel into safe waters. After this slight detour I redirected the kayak north and paddled toward my family sailing in blissful unawareness on their catamaran. I like to take the lessons from difficult situations and to see the life metaphors as well.

Sometime in life we drift along easily and effortlessly riding the current of life to where it takes us, only to find we have drifted over the years to a long, long way from where we had planned to be. Sometimes too, we struggle towards a goal which we have a strong emotional investment in, only to find that in the struggle we are making no progress and simply exhausting ourselves getting nowhere. The current we are struggling against is just too strong for us.

And sometimes too, when we take stock of our situation, we find that focussing on a different short term goal will get us much closer to our long term goal with a lot less effort and a lot less risk. If you are in a position where you find yourself a long way from where you wanted to be, or if you take stock and find that you are putting in a lot of work and effort not getting anywhere then I suggest you take timeout to look at what current you are drifting in or fighting against.

Coaching is a simple way to review where you are and to assist you to refocus on the goal which is most likely to get you to where you really want to be. Coaching helps you put to your energies into heading in the direction which will take you to your long term goal with the least effort.

Liz Cassidy, founder of Third Sigma International is an author, Speaker, Trainer and Executive Coach and is passionate about facilitating results in the businesses, professional and personal lives of her clients. For more information http://www.thirdsigma.com.au

Are You Working With or Against the Current?

2008-04-12T13:05:00.000-07:00

Sunday morning was a perfect Queensland spring day, temperature in the high 20's Celsius, low humidity, and deep blue skies with the occasional wispy cloud.

Checking out the flat calm, almost mill pond, blue water in PumiceStone Passage between Golden Beach and Bribie Island, we decided to hire a catamaran and a kayak and take to the water.

There was no way I was going to get to my family if I kept on doing what I was doing!

I was out of my depth with out a life vest on a kayak in deep water!