Rantaholics

How to be a bad influence

2008-09-08T16:00:00.000-07:00

In the interest of entertaining my twin 4 year old niece and nephew, I had to resort to the drastic means to keep their attention. I'm quite certain during the weekend, I have successfully imprinted some really bad habits as part of their personality.

Not having children myself (other than being married to one), I don't always know the boundaries between acceptable or unacceptable behavior (especially after a drink or two).

1. Encouraging bad behavior in public places: as my nephew yellow and proceeded to pull his shirt over his head (revealing his chest) I giggled, which just encouraged him to repeat this action, even to our wait person. (she did have a good sense of humor about it)
2. Stick crayons in your mouth or nose. First it was the vampire look with a pair of crayola, then proceeded downhill, will nostril insertion. Both of them picked up on this skill quite quickly.
3. Lemon wedge stuck in your teeth: Not the healthiest maneuver (since most of you probably know the garnishes they put in your drinks are not the cleanest). Both of them smiled at fellow patrons with their lemon wedges and then proceeded to spit them out.
4. Scaring people: teaching them to hide and strategic places and then jumping out at the appropriate moment to yell "Boo!" I heard some delightful language come from my family and not to mention strangers.
5. Last and not least: I am apologizing in advance to any of you who are Obama supporters. This was not a slam to him as to my brother in law. My delightful niece and nephew have very, very liberal parents (I cannot begin to elaborate how liberal they are, but let's just say they wear tie-dye t shirts and hippie beads underneath their clothes). My father in law asks my nephew who he should vote for and in his proud little voice states: Barack Obama! We changed that tune pretty quick (knowing this would cause his father to become completely hysterical). "Obama sucks" my nephew repeated during a gathering of 15 adults. Everyone laughed (except my brother in law who was not around). Of course, this just encouraged this feisty young man to yell it again and again and again.
Both of them didn't know any bad language, but creatively improvised on "Obama sucks!"
"Obama lives in the toilet and LIKES it" and "Obama eats poop". During the rest of the weekend, both of them piped up with these comments, all of them eliciting laughter. (again, this reinforces the bad behavior).
The pinnacle of their rant was heard at the John Wayne airport, just before the twins boarded the plane. My sister in law phone us to say good bye when my nephew picked up the phone and in his loudest voice possible, yelled "Barack Obama sucks, he lives in the toilet and likes it". In most places, this would be interpreted as bad behavior, but they were in Orange County and most people just ignored. Or better yet laughed.

Yup. I am a bad influence. Now,waiting for the irate phone call from their father, an Obama devotee. It is highly likely I won't get to see them soon, but that is ok, it will give me some new skills to teach them when they visit again.

I repeat the Doctor is NOT in

2008-07-31T13:23:00.000-07:00

Maybe because I work in the medical imaging industry that I am particularly sensitive to this matter, but since I last checked I was still human, so my frustration is part and parcel of every one's else. Quite simply the quality and care of our health care practitioners and the equally evil insurance companies has gone to hell in a hand basket.
I won't even begin to elaborate how I had to get all the pre-authorizations for surgery which I knew was approved already. After making endless phone calls, and writing down details of the conversation where the insurance company stated over the phone the surgery was covered, EXCEPT (and this is the real killer) they would not give me a reference number for the call, or an email address to confirm in writing. I managed to get a fax number and faxed my entire transcript of conversations of medical coverage and requested response-mail, fax, email and my response-nothing. Then after the surgery, they still wind up billing us for the entire amount. After numerous phone calls and letters we finally have it resolved. The whole process made me so sick-yes adding insult to injury.
My latest annoyance is with a doctor who insisted I would benefit from a in-office procedure to help with my rosacea outbreaks. The doctor explained it in such a manner that there is no down time and there might be some redness. Well, it was much worse than that. Best way I can describe it, think cabbage patch doll. Very attractive look. I knew I would be red (not quite this puffy). Days later my face still resembling a cabbage patch doll look, I had to go into the office.

My doctor seemed indifferent when I mentioned I was mortified to show my face and work & had to cancel meetings and various events due to my facial condition. Hey, I know what I look like and while I am not much too look at I don't need it advertised in technicolor. After about 10 days, the swelling subsided and left with inflammed stripes on my face (think Indian war paint). Apparently this is due to bruising during the procedure and it can happen (wow I wish I know that ahead of time!) Again my doctor didn't want to see me since I arrived again at the office sporting the Indian paint look. I explained I wasn't going to pay for the balance of the treatment and had I known I would look as bad as I did, I would never agreed to it. I suggested they create a handout for patients, explaining all the possible side effects, not just the pre-printed corporate brochure stating how perfect this procedure it. That sentiment was ignored. And while this procedure was not covered by insurance, she did send me a bill for a co-pay! (which I again explained I would not pay it). So now I am left with the option to help fade the bruises (which I am paying for). Now its been 5 weeks and hoping the prescription I paid for will now fix the bruising.

There is no morale to this story, and not much of happy ending and you wanna bet I am going to get a bill from my insurance company for this? You bet I will. Ah the fun never ends. Time to play in traffic.

Gah

2008-05-19T20:25:00.002-07:00

"Remote users cannot authenticate by using an account that has a blank password."

http://support.microsoft.com/kb/304040

I didn't know this because every where in the "real world" blank passwords are forbidden via group policy. I thought I was going to go crazy.

irony

2007-10-31T06:40:00.000-07:00

Not so much a rant but ... well just read;

Any one who's ever worked in retail knows about "shrinkage", If you accidentally cut the merchandise with your box cutter, or something gets broken on the truck, that's a loss, it "shrinks" the bottom line. The unfortunate reality of shrinkage is that it also includes Theft/vandalism/shoplifting.

Yesterday, some one stole some Glade scented candles at a local establishment. They stole 5 boxes (3 candles each). (I know this because I found them stuffed behind the fruit snacks, 3 isles away from their home while I was working an overnight shift.) Of the three varieties of candles stolen, two of the boxes contained candles with a sent called "Pure innocence".
--
While I'm on the topic of annoying shrinkage, let me tell you about a game all the cool kids are playing these days. it's called "Hide the pudding!"
Here's how you play, you go to your local big grocery store, you wander over to the dairy section.. then find the yogurt... near there you may find single serving cups of pudding. Note how they're cold, and have "Keep Refrigerated" printed on the packaging. Grab a 3 pack at random and continue to wander about the store. Eventually you'll happen upon another section, possibly near the boxed gelatin. Here you will find "snack pack" single serving pudding containers. These are shelf stable and do not need refrigeration. Put down the pudding from earlier in the game. (for extra points, stash it behind a box or something so it's not visible from more than 10 feet away) That's it, you've won! Some time around midnight, a 3rd shift worker will find your pudding and take it to the "claims" dept because it's sat at room temperature for only-God-knows-how-long, and is no longer fit for sale.

VICK THE DICK

2007-07-25T16:20:00.000-07:00

So its trite. Shoot me.
I didn't want to use another word. Figured DICK was safe enough.
I have to rant on this subject, since everytime I see a news story I get pissed off all over again.
I am pissed off at so many levels and wish to explain.
1. Dog fighting is illegal and nearly all the entire US population knows this.
2. Even if you didn't know it was illegal, a prudent person would know this is a terrible, unconscionable thing to do to any animal.
3. A prudent person would know this is a horrendous act to thrust upon what we all consider is "man's best friend".
4. A prudent person would not selectively torture and execute dogs b/c there were not aggressive enough.
5. A prudent person would not have 50+ dogs with the sole purpose of holding dog fights for his equally stupid friends and himself
6. APBT's already have a bad reputation in the dog world. This type of cruelty only add to this misconception about the breed. The 50 or so pitbulls were likely "put down" since abuse and aggressiveness is all they have known. Do we put people down if they don't act agressively enough?
7. And if this shithead was actually innocent (aside from having a dog-fighting facility on his property) he would have promptly announced his innocence. Yet this is not the case.
It would seem appropriate to wish him physicial harm. And I not talking about PETA folk--just your average person who has some regard for another life form. People are outraged. For example, it would be justice for Vick to have to fight to the death. If he didn't perform he should be electrocuted, tortured and yes, killed.
I still believe if he had to volunteer in an animal shelter and/or animal hospital he might begin to see the error of his cruel ways. Maybe, maybe not. And if he doesn't, then we can electrocute him. My pitbull would love to watch that.

The Wine Revolution

2007-07-23T18:53:00.000-07:00

I have to give credit where credit is due. You Gary Vaynerchuk just might be the face of the wine revolution I’ve been looking for. You have the knowledge, you have the palate, you have the attitude and most importantly, you have the passion. A lot of shit in life you can teach, but passion just isn’t one of them. I’m beginning to like you already.

There’s a couple of things that have me invariably uneasy about enrolling in your cause however. Let’s start with this whole 100 point rating scale for wines you seem quite enamored by. Ok. So I’m cool with the scale. It’s familiar and the concept is easily understood by the masses. I happily suggest that anyone who doesn’t understand a 100 point rating system should probably not be drinking wines to begin with. But in a rating system with 100 points, how come the same ratings come up over and over and over again? There’s a 100 point spread between 0 and 100 yet so little of it is utilized. I don’t agree that on a 100 point scale an “extremely solid wine” should score a 90, while a “poor effort” and “I’ll have to give this wine a pass” still scores in the 80’s. With one hundred incremental units I’m not really sure why roughly 93% of your online ratings score within the same 13 percentile point band (80 - 93). Are you selectively picking the bottles to suite that band or is something else going on? Don’t want to let the other wine critics down (the same wine critics you bring up over and over and over again)? I don’t get it. Seriously. We don’t give a shit about the other critics. We’re looking to you to lead this revolution, not them.

So take a deep breath. Why the 100 point scale if only 13 scores get used roughly 93% of the time?

Out of 690 wines that you currently have rated, only 23 wines scored below an 80, or 3% of your total wines currently reviewed.
Out of the same 690 wines rated, only 30 wines scored higher than a 93, or 4% of your total wines currently reviewed.

That leaves us with a figure of 93% of the wine you review scoring within the same 13 point band.

Overall I like you. I like your fresh take on tastings, there’s no pretense, no pomp, none of that old snob shit. I like your level of involvement in the wine community, you’ve got some really solid knowledge and what appears to be an extremely well-rounded palate. You bring solid passion to the table obviously, and you have a much better wine show then I do, since I don’t even have one. But in the end I don’t know. You claim to bring the thunder but I suspect that’s only partly true. When you drop your sack on the table and give a truly shitty wine the 20 points that it deserves while every other wine critic is slagging 85 points, then maybe, just maybe, the real wine revolution has begun.

Woeful tale of Chicken Little

2007-07-19T13:13:00.000-07:00

It scampers around the office, carrying the air of importance, when its just the smell of her cage.
(Maybe she just laid another egg). Collective group I work with has noticed she makes several distinct sounds duing a meeting. I decided to make better use of my meeting time and count these sounds coming from Chicken Little.
Granted these are not contributory remarks, only noises to remind us she is here. Noises are described as follows:
1. Oooh: denoting interest of sorts. Averages 5-10 times during hour long meeting.
2 Oh, wow: this indicates her high impression level. It is often uttered in response to such statements of: "we are going to blacktop the parking lot" or someones mentions their vacation plans.
3. Mhhmm: This is her attempt to understand the conversation going on. It has been followed up with "well, I am still new here" (its been over a year now, the comment is past its lifespan). Even if she doesn't not understand the conversation, this noise is made to indicate her level of comprehension.
4. The Horsey Laugh: this is my favorite, maybe since it occurs with great frequency. The best way to describe this is when you try to laugh, by exhaling, instead you are inhaling. Her horsey laugh is used to participate when she perceives there is something funny being said or other people are laughing.
There are occasional noises like "Yuck" or "Uh, yayah" that serve to amuse us, but are not made on a consistent basis.
I kept looking at the chicken, thinking there might be a string hanging out and I could pull it to make it talk again, but then I should count my blessings when there is silence. Silence is platinum.
It could always be worse, she could have a twin working here.

Is the sidewalk safe anymore?

2007-05-28T09:54:00.000-07:00

The short answer: No.
I don't think it matters where you live. Just about an hour ago, I was cooling down from my morning run and waited for green walk light to walk across the street. From my peripheral vision, I could see a mini van racing towards me. I looked up briefly, yes, she did have a stop light, but it appears she is not slowing down. Within a split second, I saw the woman driver was wearing a large visor and to see anything that is not in front of her windshield would be an impossibility. So I ran for the curb and made it just in time. Do I live in a bad neighborhood, not at all! To prove my point, just look at the news this weekend: Ms. Lohan could not decide between the street or curb to driver her Mercedes. I believe she selected the curb. And this is Beverly Hills. Sigh. Happy Memorial Day weekend. BTW: If you decide to see Pirates, word of advice: stay for the credits.

Vive la France-NOT

2007-03-31T14:00:00.000-07:00

Came to find out recently, a friend of mine is planning to spend thousands of dollars to take his wife to Paris for her birthday (40th).
First of all not every female was to celebrate they are 40 years old (myself included)
More importantly, neither my friend or his wife speak a word of French.
I find this incredibly funny (and not too bright) that someone would travel halfway around the world to be insulted in frog talk.

French don't like Americans, especially the parisians-they hate us. They dislike everyone except themselves (obviously obcured by their lack of sense of smell). French like people with towels on their heads and expansive oil interests.

And by some chance you do speak French, make sure it is close to flawless, otherwise you will be insulted too. (But at least I know when I am being insulted).

Why travel so far to be insulted? I would be willing to insult him her for a fraction of the price.
Bonne Chance, my friend.
You will screwed in ways you never thought possible. Enjoy your holiday.

Chicken Little clucks again

2007-03-31T13:47:00.000-07:00

It began as Barbie and evolved into Chicken Little.
Barbie started to open up its obsessive/compulsive mouth, in a continous manner. During the course of a few short months, Barbie evolved in to a intrusive little chicken.
Always worried about the other chicken, she needs constant resassurance she has a chicken brain. That is debatable. Chickens also have a very short memory span. I spent over an hour explaining something to Chicken Little (CL). She clucks and moves her head in a manner that would indicate she did understand. I was wrong. CL plonks on over to ask the same questions all over again. CL also employs a similar manuever with everyone else she comes into contact with. CL brain can be easily overloaded, as too much work (aka various items in her job description) will cause her to stretch her neck and cluck inconsolably.
My new favorite riddle is:
How did the chicken cross the road? It was stapled to my ass.

Your Business - Mind That

2007-01-22T12:35:00.000-08:00

Seriously, people really have nothing better to do than to complain about what my employees are or are not doing in their eyes? They have no idea what they do and have no place to talk. And how is it they find the time to go around and watch what my employees are doing? Do they not have jobs of their own to be doing?

People really need to mind their own business. So angry.

Domain Expiring Soon

2006-12-22T09:49:00.001-08:00

This domain is due to expire soon. Shall we renew it?

Space for rent...

2006-11-03T10:43:00.000-08:00

...should be tatooed across her forehead. I know this is not typical styling for Barbie, but in light of all the aggravation she has caused me, I figure I am owed monetary award for pain and suffering.

Besides the 10,000 questions she has to ask me (while a co-worker blurts "are you going to wipe her ass for her?"). My answers are brief and succient and most of the time I don't turn around to answer EXCEPT when she adds the inquiry, "are you sure?"
To answer without physical violence is the following:

No, you can print a brochure from 200K jpegs.

You can't open the file, you don't have the program.

It is fine the way it is, don't overthink it (ha, ha, that was a nice compliment from me, right?).

A PDF printout is not high-res art, you need a digital file.
The PDF is printed from the screen, the proofs are off the file, the printers proofs are more accurate.

Your printed samples may have been delivered to the warehouse, go down there and look(which she won't and manages to call the facilities manager to complain, so now any item that is dropped off or picked up has to be signed for). The two sweet ladies at the front desk are arming themselves with pitchforks, awaiting her next demand.

And my favorite of all is her stomping and telling me something is wrong. She holds a printed sample, raving how this was printed wrong. I calmly remove it from her hand, open it and simply said, "no this is fine, its a roll fold."

"ARE YOU SURE?" (thems fighting words)

"Yes I am sure. The design is the same as it was printed previously. The copy has been updated. It is printed exactly to spec"

In the air, I felt another question pursing across Barbie's lips.

You know the expression, if looks could kill, my look to her was 'maim, torture, bludgeon and then kill'. In her moment of comprehension, she turned and walked away.
See what I mean.

So here's my question to you kind folks, what do you think I could charge to advertise across her forehead?

Return to sender!!

2006-10-22T15:11:00.000-07:00

So, we bought a small multi-purpose digital scale. The kind of scale you'd use for weighing mail etc. The scale cost about $30 and in the box was a re-bate form for $30! The catch? you had to sign up for stamps.com and be a member beyond the trial period. No big deal, when you sign up for stamps.com you get some free postage and with the rebate we'd come out ahead.

Here is why I'm pissed: Yesterday stamps.com charged $180 for a 12 months of membership. Nowhere in the TOS does it say that they will pre-charge you for 12 months of membership. I don't want a whole year of stamps.com While it's nice to be able to print my own postate, it's not worth $15 a month. You still have to pay regular price for postage, and unless you print directly to your envelope you have to pay for the sheets of blank stamps. It's just not worth it. (I plan to cancel my subscription and hopefully get most of my money back)

You can order postage stamps from the USPS and have them delivered for a small delivery fee, (basicly pay postage to have the stamps mailed to you) and if you want to send a package you can print a shipping label with postage from the USPS website.

Don't sign up for stamps.com

Bloggrrrrrrrrr

2006-09-25T09:16:00.000-07:00

Okay, I hate to do this, but damn it if I can't blog when I want to. Maybe I have a lame computer or a lousy connection, but is it really necessary for me to have to write a blog post twice every time I blog?? Something always seems to go awry. It could be that I can't log in, maybe the "compose" page won't load, nope sorry we can't post it right now oh and by the way...IT'S GONE!! Yes, yes I know I copy it to the clipboard or write it in notepad first, but that's me over managing what Blogger is supposed to make easy. I want it to be easy! Work Blogger, please work! I love you, Blogger, we can fix this, but you have to meet me halfway. The ball is in your court, until then I will "copy" before I "publish", but my hope is that someday, I won't have to. *sniff*

iTunes

2006-09-15T13:57:00.000-07:00

Alright, I am pissed. So, I upgrade to the new version of iTunes and I am having issues with it. It is importing cds incredibly slow and when it's playing music, it's like it's "buffering." It skips, sounds distorted, and slows down. So, I go to apple.com to their discussion boards and find a thread w/over 28,000 views and almost 400 responses of people have the exact same problem (with other additional problems) that I am having w/iTunes 7. I skim through them and someone has posted a way to go back to the older version. I followed the directions and w/help from FJ, got it working. Problem is, it's doing the exact same thing! I used to be able to run the older version w/NO PROBLEM. What I don't understand is why, when I uninstalled the lastest version, I am still have issues. Everything was fine until that damn version 7. Has no one heard of, "if it isn't broke, don't fix it?" I mean, come on...yeah, okay, version 7 has "new features" and blah blah blah, but I don't even use half the damn features of the older version and now I can barely play music. Isn't that the point of iTunes? To be able to play and listen to music and now that is fucked up. I hate technology. Companies are so damn eager to get their "new fangled idea" out there, that they don't thoroughly test things. I know that 400 people is probably not the majority of iTunes users, but that is still a good chunk of people have the same problem w/the same stupid program, since it's stupid new release. If anyone has any ideas on how to correct this issue, please let me know. I NEED my music.

**UPDATE**

Now, my audio problems don't seem to be an iTunes issue...I can't listen to anything in Winamp, Windows Media Player, or streaming on the web w/o the distortion and skipping of the music. Also, when I reboot my computer, the music that Windows plays when it shuts down or is being loaded is also distorted. To me, this sounds like a computer problem...but I don't know. Now I'm wondering if there is some random file somewhere that's causing this or what. Please, someone help.

The Kingdom of Princess Barbie

2006-08-30T12:24:00.000-07:00

We, as working peasants do not care for our new princess, Barbie. We already deal with a difficult, moody and highly temperamental King and the addition to his court has created much grief and unhappiness. She is cut from the same cloth as her master, the King of All Things Great.

She refuses to work with us peasants, unless we succumb to her blondeness. We all have to learn how to work with her; to please her and be her sounding board if she chooses. Obviously, the King is very pleased with her, since she hangs on his every word. Lately, she considers herself equal or married to the King, since all her sentences begin with "XXX and I feel..." Come to think of it, she is Barbie Princess parrot, since she is without creativity or a mind of her own. She simply quips what the King commanded.

Her latest endeavor is to publicly humiliate and behead a group of people I have worked with for the past few years. They have been wonderful to work with. Yet, according to Barbie, she has concerns about their ability and voiced her disgust. Her latest tirade began with a private conversation with a King.

"I am worried, dear King, that the group the peasant girl (me) worked with will not be able to accomplish the great feats you have commanded" Barbie whined
"I have decreed you will conduct a roundtable of these subjects to pass judgment" The King of all Things Great boomed.
The King summoned and admonished me for not bowing to Barbie and acknowledging her superiority.

The day of days came when judgment was called upon the group and including (aka peasant girl). Princess Barbie announced" You are not capable of handling these tasks I am in charge of, you must bow down to me and acknowledge my presence. I do not like the tone of voice you use to address me, you may not speak to me in that manner" .
We all tried in vain to appease her with little success. The clouds have rolled in, the heavy fog sits on all of us as we try to deal with the King of All thing Great and Princess Barbie Parrot. This plague is now upon us and this ailment will be around for quite some time.

No joy in medieval, here my friends. Please do not feel bad for me, for I have a twisted evil plot for this monarchy. I will share with you when the time comes. Remember: Revenge is a dish, best served cold.

K-F-See the idiot behind the cash register...

2006-08-20T19:50:00.000-07:00

We pull up to the speaker thingy...

(mumbling)"Lemme know when you're ready."

"Okay, we'll have 2 honey bbq snackers and a crispy strips meal."

"Which one?"

"Which one??"

"Yeah, there's 3,6 or 9 piece."

"3"

"(something so mumbly I can't understand it at all)"

"What?"

"I'll have your total at the window."

"Okay."

At the window...

"It's $7.63"

I give him money, and another guy pokes his head out the window,

"Did you want the snackers or the regular sandwich?"

"The snackers"

"Okay."

Original window guy hands us our change and a bag.

I ask my companion to check the order, there are 2 sandwiches and a box of crispy strips, no meal.

"Excuse me, I wanted the crispy strips meal."

"Huh? Give me the receipt and the box."

I do as he requests.

He hands me a new bag and closes the window in my face. I know he didn't charge me for the meal, so I am waiting for the window to open again. It does not. So we drive home. Upon arrival we examine the contents of the bag and find:

1 original snacker
1 regular honey bbq sandwich
1 crispy strips meal

Not what we ordered. Not what we paid for. This time it turned out in our favor, but the youth of America is starting to scare me.

PA Secrets

2006-08-10T20:18:00.000-07:00

A more specialized rant site: PA Secrets.**

**Feel free to post links to sites or posts that are rant worthy.

Can I ask you just one more question?

2006-08-08T15:31:00.000-07:00

Slowly I turn, step by step, inch by inch...

As I politely stand with my hands behind my back, crushing the papers I was holding, I answer her question. As a new employee, it is important to make her feel welcome. She is very nice, but Godzilla underneath. My patience is wearing thin now. Everytime Barbie sends me a email or makes a phone call, she bops on over to my desk and announces she has just emailed me and she just wanted to let me know. Great. At a five foot distance away, I can just take my thumb and forefinger and imagine squeezing her head. Oh how I wish. If I take the time to explain something, her high-maintenance personality begins to argue/question every bit of minutiae. Where is a sledgehammer when you need one? OK so she doesn't have any industry experience, that is ok, but please! Learn how to use a computer. I am not here to teach you that Barbie.

Oh hey, here is the kicker. She appears to be stabbed when anyone using a curse reaches her virgin ears. When my boss used the term "sugar tits" in a meeting (referring to how Mel Gibson calls a female police office) her eyes flew open (party platter size, I swear) and while her cavern mouth opened up in horror (open sesame).

My computer crashed (a hourly event) and the word f**k came flying out. "I don't like that type of language", she babbled.

"What type of language, English?" I answered/

" I find curse words very vulgar" she quipped.

I nodded in acknowledgement, now paying particular attention to anyone who cursed around her, eagerly awaiting her reaction. This is getting interesting.

Her barrage of questions is mollified when my co-worker uses the Brooklyn alphabet to describe some work that was not done properly. Something along the lines of "Well you guys are just assholes. Shit, what do I pay you for". Barbie turns to me and appears in shock again (if only she would stay that way). I try not to smile. I tell you its only going to get worse at the year rolls on. Here are my words of advice to you, Barbie: get some earplugs or learn to live with it. We degenerates were here first and we like it this way.

Summertime Invaders

2006-08-01T14:17:00.000-07:00

Ants have to be the most annoying insect to ever wander the earth. I hate them particularly in the summertime because when it gets hot inside, they come in. And it's not like they come inside in a trail. No, they come in randomly, so when you walk into the kitchen, there's an ant here or an ant there. How are you supposed to figure out where the hell they're coming from when they are randomly crawling about?? They don't just randomly appear in the kitchen, either. There's a few crawling on the living room wall, on my feet in front of my desk, or around the bathroom sink as I'm brushing my teeth. I think I have gone through a half a bottle of Windex* and a roll of paper towels just killing these damn things. I guess I can be grateful for one thing: at least they are black ants and not the red, biting ones that were around when I grew up.

*Windex works just as well and smells much better than Raid.

Tech Support

2006-07-29T22:50:00.000-07:00

Here is me all day: *...(breathe)...(sigh)...(look at the clock)...(breathe)...*

It's a little something I like to call, "TECH SUPPORT SUCKS!!!" Seriously, this is day 2 in the battle against Pacific Bell dsl. In fact, I am holding "for the next available technician" even as I type. Before I go into this rant full force, let me just say that these ppl, all 27,000 that I have talked to in the last 2 days, have been exceptionally courteous, just irritatingly uninformed and decidedly useless! (This is not an attack on the individuals, i'm sure they are very nice and treat their pets well.) Anyway, so here I am experiencing technical difficulties, which I have been saying all along was a software problem, which has now been corroborated. But I can't tell you the countless idiots that asked me where I had the modem plugged into. HELLO FRIGGIN' MORON! There are 3 damn cords that come out of this blasted piece of equipment: a power cord, an ethernet cable, and a phone cord. It's not like you can mess that up. "Hmmm, I bet this power cable goes into the phone jack..." NOT!

Okay, here's the next thing...what part of "I'm on a Mac" don't you understand? Here are the some of the questions I got asked:
"Do you see those little computer screens in the right corner of the task bar?"
I'm on a Mac.
"Are you using the right click?"
I'm on a Mac.
"Go to 'Add/Remove Programs'"
I'm on a Mac.
"See the 'Start' menu in the left corner?"

Good thing I can tell the difference between a Mac and a PC or I'd really be screwed. Hey, maybe I should get into tech support, I can BS and tell people to look for things that aren't there, then politely explain that, "It sounds like you need to talk to our (fill in the blank) dept. Here I'll patch you through" and then hang up. Simple. I wonder how much it pays to frustrate ppl for a living.

Anyway... "We appreciate your patience. Your call is important to us. Please stay on the line and your call will be answered in the order it was received."

Clever

2006-07-24T15:52:00.000-07:00

On my recent trip to the lovely Northwest, I discovered a brilliant and clever sales move by my public transit service. Free pillow, crank on the air-conditioning, and $15 blankets. Pay or freeze. Clever.

People

2006-07-18T14:27:00.000-07:00

People are strange. I must be really bad and reading people. Have you ever been in a situation where someone's behavior changes suddenly and it seems like they are mad at you but you have no idea why? And then you don't want to ask because you could be wrong and that would make them mad? Or if you ask, and they are but decide to deny it and then get mad because you asked... I don't understand. Sometimes passive aggression goes too far. I can't fix whatever is wrong or appoligize or sort out miscommunications if no communication is happening. I CAN'T READ MINDS PEOPLE!!!

The Drive for Perfection

2006-07-05T09:25:00.000-07:00

I have a problem. I'm ready to admit it. I like perfection. I like perfection too much.

I want everything to be done just right and sometimes I do nothing at all because if it's not perfect, why do it at all? This is why I have such a hard time doing design things because even after I think they are done if I keep looking at it I want to tweak more - try to find that perfect spot. This may also be true of anything you spend a lot of time working on - you can see the minor errors that the average person wouldn't even notice. Those minor errors can eat at me though and it's hard to let go. It will drive me crazy one day though - well, crazier.